Mistaken Words
by Morganeth Taren'drel
Summary: Heero pulled the trigger just as Relena had spoken the last word of her speech “…Peace…” “Heero!” Quatre shouted after him, “If you leave now, you’ll be branded a traitor, you’ll be hunted for the rest of your life!” 01xR
1. Remembrance of a Painful Past

**Mistaken Words**

AN: Okay here it is finally to all of you who have read Mistaken Words: Victory's Pain, here is the beginning of the story, and will in time answer all question I want to thank neekabe for all her suggestions, which have made this story as huge as it is and to Pious Knight for editing each chapter so fast I hope everyone enjoys

Disclaimer: no ownie….

**Remembrance of a Painful Past**

Quatre looked out over the passing scenery with a heavy heart; not even the brilliant sunshine, and the perfect November day could raise his spirits. He was on a mission, one he would give almost anything not to be a part of. However no matter how much he dreaded his task, he had to admit—if only to himself—that he was the best suited for this job. A barely audible sigh escaped the young man's lips, as he turned away from the window. He was about an hour away from his destination, and he could not keep his mind focused, his thoughts repeatedly fell into the past. Reliving memories, that at the time he thought would remain forever…how wrong he had been.

_Everyone had held their breath, as though the slightest sound or change could shatter the crystal agreement that was being signed before the eyes of a thousand witnesses. Few could really comprehend that the end was near. Peace was at hand, and they had all helped to forge it, the dreams of thousands, and the last wishes of dying soldiers, was finally coming to fruition. So much had changed in the months after the wars had been brought to a close, while the peace was being discussed. Quatre had taken control of his family's vast wealth and power, bringing the organisation to where his father would have wanted it most._

___They were long hard months, in which people walked quietly, said next to nothing on the street. So badly did they all want the peace, that no one was willing to make a stand on anything. Quatre could not blame them for such behaviour, though he thought it a little much, the people were worried, they had come to peace once, only to have it destroyed; it would take a fair amount of time to gain back their trust. But it was something Relena was working hard on; she stood at the forefront of it all, leading the way, setting the example. He could only marvel at how someone so young could gather everyone to her. She was truly their 'Angel of Peace'._

_____Time passed in the same slow way it always does, and still the talks moved on without encountering too many problems save one, their size. The meetings were huge often seating a thousand or more people, everyone wanting to be represented, all feared being forgotten. In truth little could be expected from these talks, Relena made what of them she could; but even she knew that to truly make progress less was actually more. Quatre had spoken to her on a number of occasions about this predicament, but could offer no real solution that would satisfy everyone involved._

_______Unbeknownst to them, the citizens of the Earth's Sphere, were gathering together to form their own solution. I was about five months after the war that delegates had approached Quatre from almost every colony, requesting that the colonies be united under his leadership. The news had left Quatre more than speechless; he had been overwhelmed by the true dedication he had witnessed on that day. These men and women knew what they wanted in the future and had discovered a way in which to secure it. After long discussion with his sisters and most trusted advisers, Quatre had humbly accepted the appointment, though he was sure they could have found someone better suited._

_________It came to his knowledge later that the earth had also banded together electing one man to lead them to the peace that was only just now coming into reach. This news had rekindled a long lost respect for the human race in Quatre's heart, so long had he doubted their ability to gain what was truly the best for all, and now they were, placing aside differences for the sake of the whole. It had been Zechs that they wanted, the once battle hardened man, filled with the need for revenge, had balked at the idea. Knowing that his hands held the blood of hundreds, he did not think he was worthy in any way to help usher the people into the new age of peace._

___________It had taken a great deal of talking with Relena and his new wife Noin to convince the one time warrior that this was what the people truly wanted, and that he was easily the best man for job. With some resignation, and even perhaps a little fear, Zechs had retaken the throne of his father and forefathers. The world and Earth's Sphere where at last united, with Relena standing between the two, a princess for one, and the foreign minister for the other, a figure of royalty no matter from which side you watched._

_____________Quatre had had no real idea for what he would be getting into, when he had accepted the position of President of the colonies. So much work was there to be done, that he was forced to hand over the Winner Corporation to his sisters, leaving it all in their capable hands. Some came to work with him, and he could not have possibly been more grateful for their unconditional support. For several months he did nothing but listen to the concerns of his new people, addressing problems that would need to be brought to the attention of the entire world. Mostly he just relieved the common fears that plagued the minds of the colony citizens._

_______________All the hard work and patience had been more than worth it on the day that he and Zechs had met on earth, along with Relena, to finally sign the peace accord. His hand had been trembling so terribly in the morning he had wondered if he would even be able to sign the papers. But as he stood there before the multitude of witnesses, the former pilot of Sandrock could only smile. The world was free; the people had gained what they always dreamed of, while held under hard oppression. History was behind them and the future lay before, waiting to be written, and it would start that day, with the signing of three names._

_____________Quatre shook himself out of his deep thoughts, a wistful smile placing across his pale features, though it did nothing to brighten his still troubled eyes. "…Peace our one and only dream…" he whispered to no one. Aqua eyes found there way back to the window, and the world that lay beyond, yet another sigh slipped through his slightly parted lips. "Matters always look so promising in the beginning…only to be torn apart in the end…"_

_______________Even with so much that he had to contend himself with, Quatre never lost contact with his friends, the four men, who had come to be like brothers to him. Though Trowa and Duo had lives outside of helping to protect the growing peace, they were always present to protect Relena. None more so than Heero, who followed the small girl like a shadow, ever silently there for her. The other four had watched them closely, waiting for the relationship to form that they new could and should. Heero would ever be there for her, and Relena might be the one and only person who could bring humanity back to one time assassin._

_________________However no matter how any of them tried to catch a glimpse of them together, they never could. If indeed something was going on between them, and there was some fairly good hints that there was, Heero was keeping it completely private. Quatre could not say he was surprised by this, Heero had never really been one to share matters of his private life with anyone, let alone his closest friends. They were reassured that matters were slowly working in the right direction, by the smile upon Relena's face, and the almost dance like quality in her step. She was truly in love._

___________________On one occasion before the 'incident' Quatre had approached Heero about the matter, trying to gain some information, perhaps help his friend if help was needed. But Heero had remained utterly silent about the whole matter. There had been a strange light deep within the former pilot's prussian eyes on that day, Quatre might almost have called it a terrible sadness, but even that was not quite right. It had disappeared, almost instantly, giving the young Winner no really time to ponder it further._

_____________________It was not long after that day, a day, which came shortly after the peace accord had been signed, that 'It' happened. The worlds of so many had been shattered, almost beyond repair. It was a day that Quatre could not forget; it rested almost always at the forefront of his mind, a constant reminder, that they had all been wrong, had all been fooled. He wished so many times that it had all just been a dream…no nightmare. But each morning he'd awake to find it the same, they had been betrayed by one of their own, someone he had once trusted with his life._

_______________________Why it had come to this no one knew… hell, no one could even speculate about it. The incident had come upon them all so suddenly, without warning; they were all left racing to catch up. Recovery from it was still not at hand for most; however the peace had forced all to carry on, they could not falter, not all of them. So many other things held importance, this, though a tragedy it was could not be changed now, 'He' had made his choice, and he could only be left wondering why…_

_____________________"Mr President…?"_

_____________________Quatre was shaken from his deep thoughts by a gentle hand on his shoulder, looking up he saw the concerned face of one of his bodyguards. Internally he shook his head, peace or not, the world was not altogether friendly, and that was something he found truly saddening. He awaited the day with anticipation, that he could walk the streets of any colony or the earth, alone, in plain view of all who wanted to see. That would be true and ever lasting peace._

_____________________"Mr President, are you alright Sir?" the man in his early thirties asked worry laced though his words.  
Forcing a smile to his face, to reassure the older man, Quatre nodded his head, "I'm sorry, I was just lost in thought." __So many thoughts…so many memories…so very few of them good…_ he thought to himself sadly, though he was careful to keep his features pleasant or at the very least blank.

_____________________Gaven, one of his top bodyguards, nodded silently, though his expression still held on of concern. Quatre did smile then; they were all so protective of him, most likely they thought him too young for the job, having just turned twenty, at time he had to agree with them. "We're here Sir," Gaven said quietly, stepping aside so Quatre had a clear view of what lay beyond._

_____________________Truly the had arrived, and it sent a wave of dread through him. The black limousine was parked in the driveway of one of the most elegant houses he had ever laid eyes upon. Three stories of pale rose brick, sat nestled in the centre of what had to be five or six acres of carefully manicured lawns and gardens. Climbing from the car slowly Quatre gave himself a minute to not only gather his thoughts about him but also take in the artistry of what he was standing before._

_____________________Lattice work along the fascia of the house reached down its delicate tendrils in the form of laurel leaves. Wide crystal clear windows took up a good deal of the house's front, allowing much of the morning sunlight to seep in on the occupants. Second floor balconies encircled by magnificently forged wrought iron rails flanked the massive oak door on either side, giving the home a look of symmetry, something the owner loved. Smoke curled slowly from more than one of the chimneys reminding Quatre of just how cold it really was. The sun might have been shinning as hard as it could, but it could warm nothing in winter._

_____________________Pulling his long grey coat closer about him, Quatre brought his eyes away from the house itself, and focused in on the door. The threshold that he would have to cross in order to begin his mission. Glancing about the surrounding area, he did not miss the positioning of his other guards; they were well trained men, keeping their presence as un-obstructive as possible. Quatre appreciated the space that they gave him, after all he was at one time a Gundam pilot, this fact seemed to have been forgotten at some point, and he was more than happy with it that way, it was a part of his life that he was not always proud of._

_____________________Releasing the breath that he had not realised he had been holding, Quatre realised that he could delay the inevitable no longer. The other pilots had come to him, and it was up to him to do what they could not, he wished it were not so, but he was able to face facts; knowing that wishing did nothing really. He turned his head over to look at Gaven, who's grey eyes were looking everywhere, more out of habit than any fear for his safety. The wind gusted up out of nowhere stealing away Quatre's breath with its frosty fingers, "Shall we go in?" he questioned softly once it had passed._

_____________________Gaven nodded once, motioning for Quatre to go ahead of him. The former pilot felt rather bad for the other men who travelled with him, being forced to stay out in this cold, for as long as he was in the house. Though he had been told that they were used to the cold, having been born in colder climates that the one he was native too. Walking up the wide steps to the door, Quatre wished fleetingly that he was here on some lighter matter, instead of one more important than they had known in three years, since the peace accord had been signed. He reminded himself silently that wishing would bring about no changes, and it was on him that this lay._

_____________________The large oak door swung open almost as soon as Quatre stopped before it, a tiny woman stood behind it, looking to small to even pull it open. Her rich brown eyes grew wide as she took in his face; he was surprised at how quickly she recovered, as she stepped aside to usher them in, "Mr President, what a surprise…"_

_____________________"This is all rather unexpected for me as well," he smiled down to the young girl who's head barely reached the centre of his chest. "Tell me is Relena in?" he had not attempted to make any contact with her before arriving, hoping his visit could stay as quiet as possible, not wanting any questions to be arising from this meeting._

_____________________"Yes sir, she is," the girl smiled back seeming to be put at ease by his relaxed nature, "Allow me to take your coat, and I'll tell her you've arrived."_

_____________________Quatre slipped his winter coat from his now broad shoulders, he along with the other pilots had grown and filled out a great deal after the wars. He himself now stood almost six feet tall with a well built frame, that he had read made women weak in the knees, he couldn't see it. Handing over the heavy coat he shook his head slowly, sending blond locks flying in all directions, "No that's quite fine I'll announce myself."_

_____________________"As you wish Sir," she responded quickly, as she turned to hang their coats._

_____________________"Wait here, Gaven," the grey eyed man nodded without comment knowing full well that this home was more secure than almost any bank. Drawing in a slow calming breath Quatre set off down the wide corridor, only noticing with the slightest interest the decorations and expensive artefacts Relena always had on display. After all not only was it her home, but also her office, they had decided long ago, that they wanted her to be accessible, but at the same time safe. It was then that Relena had suggested her home as the prime location for her office._

_____________________As he strode down the brightly-lit halls, knowing the exact location of her office, he wanted terribly to wake up and find that this was all a dream, some horrific nightmare. That was not the case he knew, but it felt so much like a dream, it had all crept up so quietly it was as though it had leaped out of one of their imaginations. He knew even now that this would not be easy for Relena to take, "Perhaps I should have waited till tomorrow…" he mused to himself in a low whisper so none close by would hear. It did seem somewhat heartless to be telling her this one the third year anniversary of that fateful day, but when else was there? Her safety had to be placed before everything, and at times that even included her feelings._

_____________________Even three years after, Quatre could still remember every little detail of that day, the smell of the air, the feel of anticipation from the crowed of onlookers, as they listened intently. The sound of the gun shot being fired, and lastly, what stood out most, like a knife cutting though his awareness; his words. "…I'm merely trying to see the bigger picture…" delivered without emotion, with the smoking gun in his hand, and Relena bleeding on the floor rooms away. Still he felt shock and disbelief, this should not have happened, it made no sense, he thought he had understood his one time friend, had it all been a sham? Was nothing that he thought true?_

_____________________Quatre had no answers to any questions, he only had new problems, which carried with them questions, ones that he hoped and prayed could be answered in time. So much was riding on their quick actions, and silence was a key to it all. As he neared Relena's spacious office, he could not help wondering, even with all their hurried actions and secrecy, could they stop the inevitable. Was it not foolish of the world to try and stop something that was in human nature? Was it a dream to believe that all the world could live peacefully? Despite every effort Quatre was being to feel that it was, though he fought against that line of thought, not yet willing to give up hope in mankind. Even as a small part of him did not want to give up on his one time friend, though it was becoming harder with each passing year. He shook his head against the memories, really not wanting to live through them again, but there was no real way to stop them, he knew that in his mind, this was just a way to show himself yet again, that what he saw had been more than real._

_______________________With the peace firmly established and the world for the first time at complete ease, work was still not done. Relena made it a point to hold large meetings with delegates from both earth and colonies, reaffirming the newly made bonds, which they had forged with one another. It was a magnificent summer day, when one of these meetings took place; the windows to the assembly hall had been thrown open, allowing the fresh air to waft in. Filling the whole room with the smell of blossoming flowers, and the whisper of birds singing._

_________________________The entire audience sat in quiet wonder, as they listened with heartfelt understanding, to the words coming form the mouth of the assembly's youngest member. Relena's grace and poise easily kept every eye locked upon her angelic features and all ears tuned into her every word. Her speech had been carefully planned out, as it always was, but Quatre could tell she had already strayed from the carefully formulated words, which only made it better, giving it a very personal touch._

___________________________Glancing about the surrounding people Quatre smiled a true and honest smile, so much time had passed, and so much work had been done, but in the end it had been worth it. With himself and Zechs leading the way there was no longer a clear defining line between the men and women from the colonies and those from earth. They sat together, with no differences separating them any more; it was an excellent reason to smile. Feeling eyes watching him Quatre looked around and saw Zechs' icy orbs studying him, from where he sat beside the somewhat smaller blond pilot._

_____________________________"Hard to believe isn't it?" the king of earth asked also smiling._

_______________________________Quatre nodded, "I wake up each morning thinking it's a dream, but the reality is, peace is here, and it would seem, to stay."_

_________________________________"What makes this so much stronger is the amount of heart and soul everyone here has been willing to _

_________________________________give__," Zechs whispered softly "…Treize would be proud…"he said, his tone almost lamenting._

___________________________________They both turned their attention back to Relena who was drawing her speech to a close. Quatre leaned back in his chair marvelling at the way Relena could work the crowed; it was not the airs that some politicians would put on when speaking. Saying things with emotions they did not even know how to feel, only to draw more people to them. No, Relena was nothing like that, her voice could range through so many emotions with the simplest words; it truly was her gift, and the worlds._

_____________________________________Quatre blinked, suddenly hyper aware, he could not say what brought on this feeling, all he knew was the tiny hairs on the back of his neck were being to raise, a sure sign that something was up. He sat up more in his seat scanning the crowed while trying to attracted attention. What is it? he wondered, a growing sense of worry over taking as the foreboding feeling did not diminish. A shadows movement in one of the small balconies that line the auditorium caught Quatre's attention, and he craned his neck to get a better look, what he saw nearly stopped his heart._

_______________________________________The one time pilot of Wing Zero, the man who in peace had still been the Perfect Soldier, Heero Yuy, stood in the balcony, a gun in hand. Quatre blinked to make sure that what he was seeing was actually before him and not some figment of his imagination. Any question of Heero's reality was answered as the Japanese man slowly raised the gun taking aim. The Winner heir could not believe his eyes, he wanted to shout out in warning, but his throat was closed._

_________________________________________Wing's pilot looked over to Quatre for one brief second, his face a mask of indifference, This makes no sense!! his brain shouted, but he could do nothing to respond. Without a second thought Heero Yuy pulled the trigger, just as Relena had spoken the last word of her speech "…Peace…" in the silence that followed one shot shattered it all. Relena screamed in pain, as the bullet pierced her left shoulder, and she fell back, into a pool of her own blood._

___________________________________________Chaos broke out around Quatre and Zechs as the people, still caught up in her words, were torn back to reality. Screams filled the air, as everyone tried to escape the room, all looking for safety. Duo and Wufei rushed out on stage to Relena's side even as Zechs was leaping over seats and dodging around scrambling people to reach her. Without thought Quatre bust into motion himself heading in the direction he knew Heero would take. He sent up a silent prayer that Relena was alive; to him the shot appeared as though it missed her heart, but he could not be sure._

_____________________________________________With people no longer thinking, Quatre had to all but fight his way to the emergency exit, his fast reflexes sped things up, but he still felt as though it was simply not quick enough. A spark of panic rose within him as he raced through the madness, of terrified people, screams and the screech of chairs being thrown aside. It seemed an eternity before Quatre finally broke through; he made his way to the head of the people who all raced down the hall to get outside. The sounds of panic were soon left behind him as he burst out into the sunshine, and skidded to a halt, glancing both ways trying to decide which way Heero would take._

_______________________________________________People poured out of the doors he had just left, all turning right, to head for the street where they felt that they might be safer. From the corner of one eye Quatre caught a shadow moving, in the darkness that the sun could not penetrate. Without hesitation he ran after the former Gundam pilot, mind still unable to fully comprehend what had happened. Turning the corner he came to a stop, "Heero!" Quatre called sharply to the dark man slowly walking away._

_________________________________________________The Japanese man came to a stop and turning around, his face covered in shadows, "So many things have changed…" his voice was low devoid of all emotion as his face had been, Quatre could not comprehend how this could be after he shot Relena._

___________________________________________________Quatre was at a loss for words, but knew that he had to say something he needed the answers; he could not live with what he had seen. With a shake of his head he forced himself to speak, "Why…? Why did you do that!?" his hands clenched into fists, "I thought you loved her!!"_

_____________________________________________________"You aren't seeing both sides of the story…" Heero responded softly._

_______________________________________________________He scoffed at that, "Both sides!? I watched you shoot her in cold blood! What has she ever done to you!?" Quatre could not control his emotions no matter how he tired, -This has to be a dream- his mind screamed to him, he could not truly be facing this now._

_________________________________________________________The Wing pilot shook his head; "I'm merely able to see the bigger picture," was the heartless reply._

___________________________________________________________"How can there be a bigger picture!? With her dead, what could that possibly bring!? Nothing but pain to those who loved her, and very likely and end to the peace!!" he was shouting now unable to keep his voice in the least bit calm, what infuriated him even more, was the apathy that Heero was showing to the whole matter._

_____________________________________________________________"How can you judge when you can't even see everything?"_

_______________________________________________________________The man was talking in riddles, for the first time in Quatre's life he really and truly felt like throttling someone. He took a step towards Heero, and in response the Japanese man took one back keeping the distance equal between them. The frustration that was flowing through him almost brought Quatre to tears, as his mind continued to refuse what he had seen to be true. "I just don't understand…" he sighed, shoulders slumping at his sides; his anger not in the least bit abated, he merely felt defeated at the same time._

_________________________________________________________________Heero brought his head up fully, allowing some of the dim light to reflect off his face, giving Quatre his first clear view of the other man. The former pilot's face was like stone, holding nothing even remotely resembling emotion on it. His Prussian blue eyes were as lifeless as Quatre had ever seen them, uncaring, they were the eyes of someone not human, humans would have to feel something, anything in a situation like this. "There are few who would…" He turned then suddenly, continuing down the alley, neither moving fast nor slow._

___________________________________________________________________"Heero!!"__ Quatre shouted after him running a few steps forward, "If you leave now, you'll be branded a traitor, you'll be hunted for the rest of your life!!" He prayed his words made it through to the emotionless man, hoping he could gain more answers, understand fully what happened._

_____________________________________________________________________Still walking Heero looked back over his shoulder, "We all do what we have to…" his dead voice echoed back down the alley to Quatre's ears. They seemed to reverberate off the walls in and endless echo, though they had almost been whispered._

_______________________________________________________________________The man Quatre had once trusted with his life, the one he had thought to call brother, walked off without stopping, disappearing into the city. Leaving Quatre alone in the alley trying to comprehend how they could all have been so easily fooled. So many questions floated about in his head and not a one had an answer. He had thought he knew Heero Yuy, the 'Perfect Soldier' the man who they all had thought loved Relena…how had things gone so wrong…?_

_____________________________________________________________________Quatre once more snapped out of his thoughts, his emotions raging as they always did when he thought back on that day. It had been three years, and still they had no more answers than they did the day it happened. Heero was the most wanted traitor the world had ever seen; Zechs had placed a large reward on his head, never specifying dead or alive. These three years had been hard for them all to take, but no more so that Relena, who had known Heero the most intimately. And now to have him come to her on this solemn day, with the news that he carried, Quatre knew already it would not go over well._

_____________________________________________________________________He sighed, looking down at his watch realising that he had already wasted too much time. Standing up a little taller and straightening his shoulders Quatre started off again down the hall, keeping his mind focused on the what he had to do next, no matter how much he wished he did not have to._

_______________________________________________________________________Relena smiled warmly, as he took hold of her hand, she laughed softly, when that was all he did. He was so sure of himself in battle, or any confrontation, but when it came to matters involving them, and only them, he had no idea where to lead next. She loved him for it more, than anything else; it was that innocence that made him so cute in her mind. Relena knew she was safe if ever he was near, and that too strengthened her love for him._

_________________________________________________________________________They were alone, as they always were when they wanted to be together. In secluded corners, away from the sight of prying eyes, it had been his decision to keep their relationship this way, and she could not say she minded. This was one part of her life, which she wanted to keep from the public, there were those who knew about the relationship, it was quite impossible for her to hide it when it just made the whole world seem right._

___________________________________________________________________________He sat down on the edge of a windowsill eyes looking out over the grounds, before turning back to her. Relena stepped in closer allowing him to encircle her in his strong arms, there was a lot of things that he had learned over the months that they had been together, but there was still so much more that he needed to know. He wouldn't ask, and she would not explain, however she could give hints, small little nudges that this was what she wanted him to do, over time he had become very proficient at reading these subtle directions._

_____________________________________________________________________________Reaching up slowly he took hold of her hair, allowing its golden length to slip through his callused fingers. She smiled endearingly; he loved her hair, always managed to find some of it to finger softly, no matter how carefully she put it into place. His hard features took on a faded light of contentment at her close presence, and she felt as though she could withstand anything, with him so close. To them now the rest of the world did not exist, all that mattered in life was the time they had together._

_______________________________________________________________________________Heero Yuy, ran his fingers through her golden tresses once more, taking a strong yet gentle hold of the fine strands. Slowly he drew her head down to his, the coldness in his Prussian eyes melted for only her to see, as their lips met. Relena slipped her arms about his neck, entwining her slender fingers in the short hair at the nape of his neck. She sighed with pleasure as Heero's free hand made its way slowly up under the back of her shirt, caressing the small of her back and sides. Relena deepened the kiss gradually, as she ran her fingers through his unruly hair, it was surprisingly soft._

_________________________________________________________________________________Several minutes passed before they finally parted each at a loss for breath. Relena sat down beside him on the windowsill, allowing Heero to draw her head to his chest. He knew she could spend hours and hours just listening to the sound of his heart beating steadily, if he would let her. She moved in eagerly, loving the feel of Heero's one hand running endlessly through her hair, while the other one continued to massage her side tenderly. Relena let her eyes fall closed, as he steadfast beat lulled her, she would at times listen to his heart after a particularly stressful day, somehow it always seemed to calm her, in ways nothing else could._

___________________________________________________________________________________"I love you…" she whispered, eyes never opening._

_____________________________________________________________________________________He was silent as he held her tiny form to his, and she wondered if he would ever say anything. The hand that had been busy stroking her side came up to cup her face. Relena opened her eyes then as Heero tilted her head to look him in the eyes. Once more the barriers drained away, and small tentative emotions found their way into his eyes, it seemed so odd to her even now, to see anything beyond indifference in those hard orbs. But for her he could bring himself to be more human that around anyone else. Almost hesitantly Heero lowered his head to hers claiming her small bow like mouth as his own; showing in his own way the love that he felt for her._

___________________________________________________________________________________"You never once said it…" Relena whispered in the silence of her office, as she came back to the present. It had taken her a long time to realise that she had been the only one to express her love in words, each and every time Heero had managed to avoid it. __Was he really trying to avoid it, perhaps he just didn't know how to say it…_ A small voice in the back of her mind came to life with mocking laughter _Didn't know how to say it? He didn't care! He tried to kill you, does that seem like the type to love you?_

___________________________________________________________________________________Relena could not deny the voices words, they made sense in every way, though at times it hurt to admit it. Heero had been the only man she ever truly loved, or at least she thought she did. It had taken months and months, but for the sake of her shattered heart she managed to convince herself that she had been too young, she had not known what love really was. The reality of her life was something she had fought against accepting, as had the other pilots, but time proved the truth of everything in the end, and there was nothing that Relena could do but face the past and move on._

___________________________________________________________________________________Sadness had been her first reaction, a deep mourning grief; it had begun to eat away at her the moment she had been given the news. That had been a day of her life, which she really and truly wished had been nothing more than a dream, or some perverted joke. Zechs' words to her that day had been the last thing she had ever expected upon waking._

_____________________________________________________________________________________She could not remember when the process had started, nor could she really recall anything, but slowly, her mind began to climb from the darkness that it had been sheltered in. Questions leaped through her consciousness, as she wondered what this was…was it death? Relena strained to be able to remember something, to understand some small part of what had befallen her. As the blackness continued to drift back, freeing her from it's cloaking embrace, she became aware of her surroundings._

_______________________________________________________________________________________Pain assaulted her quite suddenly, and she wished for the oblivion to swallow her back up again. It felt as though the pain came from ever corner of her body, and she could only wonder what had caused it. She began to feel outside the pain, sensing her small body lying upon a bed, blankets covering her, keeping away the chill of what smelled like a sterile room. Relena wanted desperately to open her eyes, to know that this was real, that she lived, but she had not the strength._

_________________________________________________________________________________________The presence of others could be felt, and worry permeated the air thickly, she wanted to reassure them, knowing that they worried for her, however she could bring no words to her mouth, no movements to her body, to signal that she was with them. Frustration began to take its hold of her, Relena franticly wanted to hold her brother to her, relieving his fears, hot tears welled up in her closed eyes, and slowly began to leak from beneath her long lashes._

___________________________________________________________________________________________Relena had no idea how long she lay there crying alone before she felt a larger hand take hers. Her heart raced at the feel of the callused skin against her soft fingers –Heero's here- she thought with relief. But it was not him she realised as Zechs began to speak; "She's waking up!" he sounded so relieved, almost on the brink of tears, and she wished for nothing else but to embrace him._

_____________________________________________________________________________________________She focused all her strength into willing her eyes to open, needing to see his face more than anything. Several moments passed, or hours, she could not tell, but finally her constant efforts where rewarded, and her crystal blue eyes fluttered open. The pain came swinging in at full force then, as though it were attempting to pull her back into the blackness that she had just managed to climb from. Crying softly against the agony, she fought to keep her eyes from closing again, thankfully Zechs was right there by her side, "It's alright Relena," he whispered to her softly, gently stroking her hand. "Give her something for the pain," this was an order directed to someone she could not see._

_______________________________________________________________________________________________Slowly the pain faded allowing her to see her brother for the first time; his long platinum blond hair spilling over his shoulder onto the bed that she lay upon. Relena studied his worry filled face, noticing something that seemed odd to her, deep in the very back of his eyes, was pure barely contained rage. She knew he had put it aside for her, but why? "What happened?" she asked her voice sounding to quiet to even reach his ears._

_________________________________________________________________________________________________Zechs swallowed before answering, his eyes flashing with that rage, before he could contain it once more, "You…you were shot," he answered gripping her tiny hand in both of his. She tried to look around wanting to see what damage had been done. However Zechs reached one hand forward and touched her cheek, bringing her somewhat dazed eyes back on him. "You were hit in the left shoulder, it's not life threatening, but you did lose a lot of blood" he paused for a moment that rage coming forward once more. "The doctors say you're going to be fine."_

___________________________________________________________________________________________________Relena looked beyond her brother to where Noin stood looking in through the ICU window, her face pale and clearly worried, though there was relief there now. There was also a look of shock, and disbelief, surely that was not brought on by her pulling through…Relena was curious now, they were clearly keeping something from her, and it was something important. Looking back to her brother _

___________________________________________________________________________________________________Relena opened her mouth to speak, but Zechs stepped in over top of her, "You should get some rest, I'll be here tomorrow morning…okay?"_

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________"What…" her voice cut out on her, Relena growled internally with the frustration she was feeling, and tried again, "What aren't you telling me?"_

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________Zechs was half way out of his seat when she finally managed to speak and he stopped dead in his tracks. Relena did not miss that glint of rage, which entered her brother's eyes at her question, this time it clearly took him a good deal of effort to fight the emotion down. Turning to face her Zechs smiled reassuringly though it was a sad smile, "Don't worry about it, everything's fine."_

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________"I don't believe you," she said boldly, knowing that what he was hiding was very significant, something which she had a right to know, "Tell me" it was a great effort to make her voice forceful enough but somehow she managed._

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________A sigh escaped his lips, as though he were realising the inevitable, "What I have to say you're not ready to hear." Reaching down he gently stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, a loving gesture from brother to sister, something he rarely did. "I'll tell you when you've recovered some."_

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________Relena shook her head slowly, "No, I want to know now!"_

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________Zechs looked over to the window, where Noin continued to wait, wanting to let the two siblings have their moment alone. Relena did not miss the helpless looks that passed between them. Finally Noin gave a small shrug of her shoulders, as if to say 'what can we do' with that Zechs nodded and retook his seat. "I wanted to put this off for as long as possible, I can't even begin to know how best to tell you this."_

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________"Whatever it is I can take it," she whispered taking his hand in hers to assure him._

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________"You can't say that not knowing," he seemed so worn out, almost old, nothing to the anger that she had witnessed come forward several times. "We have not yet caught the shooter…however…" he trailed off his words eluding him, "However we know who it is…"_

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Relena could not explain the sinking feeling in the deepest part of her soul, at his words, why was he taking so long to speak what was it he was so terrified to disclose, what brought him to such a state of rage. "That should make him easy to find…?" she made it a question no longer sure._

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Shaking his head Zechs watched her, seeming to try and harden his resolve to speak what truly happened, "He's not easy to find Relena, he never was, and never will be…" raking one hand though his long hair Zechs drew in his breath. "…It was Heero Yuy…" he spoke the name in a rush of regret and malice. The first for Relena's sake that this ever had to happen, and the other clearly directed to the man that had brought this about._

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________"…No…" she breathed unable to accept her own brother's words, "This can't be…there must be some mistake, he would never do this to me…"_

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________"Relena please…" Zechs scoffed, "He's tried to kill you before, why not now?"_

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________A great anger rose up within her at his tone, "That's just it, he's only ever tired, never actually pulled the trigger!!" she could not believe what he brother was not just implying, but out right saying as well._

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________"I told you it would be hard to accept, Relena but you have to, I wouldn't lie to you."_

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Tears spilled from Relena's eyes as her mind still refused to accept what he had told her. "I can't believe it…" she breathed through her tears, "There has to be some mistake, there just has to be!!"  
Zechs drew in his breath slowly; his face held pity for Relena however his eyes were revealing and entirely different emotion. "There's been no mistake Relena, Quatre talked to him right after it happened…I sorry…"_

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________She shook her head, "I loved him…he…" her voice trembled terribly, "…he loved…me…" she sobbed, motioning her brother to leave, knowing full well that there was nothing he could do to comfort her now. –This can't be real…- she had thought to herself as she continued to cry alone her world shattered._

Relena wiped the stray tears from her eyes as she snapped back to the present, every time she thought about that day, she cried, there was no help for it. That had been the worst day of her life, and though life had continued on, a part of her had died that day, a part of her that she felt hallow without. Time had done a good deal to heal her wounds, that feeling of missing a part of herself, was no longer there, however she could not forget, that so much still made no sense.

Running one hand through her long hair Relena winced as her left shoulder began throbbing. It did that often, some times becoming so bad that she would lose use of that arm for a day. Sally had said she thought a bone chip had been missed when they had performed the surgery, but she did not have the time in her schedule to allow them to remove it. Rubbing the sore area gently, Relena turned her attention out to the window, unable to really believe that three years had passed.

The peace that the world had gained and maintained after the assassination attempt was small consolation for the pain that she had suffered. She had endeavoured to move on with her life on several occasions, but each time nothing came of it, and she was on her own once more. Relena knew her friends and family worried over her, but there was nothing they could possibly do to change matter, unless one of them could rewrite history. She came to her feet with a sigh and took a step closer to the window, reaching out one slender hand to touch its cold surface, the world out side appearing barren, lacking the beauty that it once had.

With a shake of her head Relena threw aside this feeling of melancholy, long ago her feeling had been of grief. Now however it was quite the opposite, she felt anger, betrayal, and worst of all perhaps was the confusion. Having no answers for her questions it merely ate away at her. No she no longer mourned Heero missing from her life, she wanted to understand, but at the same time she realised, the only way she would ever receive the answers that she deserved was in having, Heero Yuy brought to justice.

Thanks for Reading

Morganeth Taren'drel


	2. Loss of Faith?

****

Mistaken Words

AN: Thank you to everyone who review ^_^ it makes my heart smile!!

mieka: ^_^ thanks for being the first to review this story!

Twilight Canel: I'm glad you're interested ^_^ and though I can't tell you what the truth is ^___^ I can tell you that you learn it in chapter six

Sidekickwannabe: It's not actually a prequel, my friend neekabe wrote a sort of prologue to this story, I highly recommend you read it ^_^ she's really very good. It's called Mistaken Words: Victory's Pain

Disclaimer: I still don't own ^_^

****

Loss of Faith?

His stride faltered as he came closer to his final destination, and only his own determination, and love for Relena kept him going. She had changed over the three years, in which they had to struggle with the reality of Heero's betrayal; Relena had become short tempered at times, quick to react when around friends. Thankfully she was able to keep her thoughts about her when making a public speech, as any outburst would undoubtedly draw unwanted questions about her personal life. 

The house was strangely silent this day, Quatre noticed, glancing down an adjoining hall, which like so many others was empty. It seemed that even if the world did not understand the full weight of the assassination attempt, they did give their princess space on the day that she so desperately needed it. He turned down yet another hall; the office had been placed at the very centre of the house, so to better protect Relena from any form of attack that might come. Quatre hoped for one day where such precautions would no longer be necessary, and indeed the world was slowly moving towards it, though they would never be able to stop working. 

"Yo Quatre!"

The young President of the colonies turned about to find his former comrades, now brothers, walking slowly towards him. Duo lead the way, his long braid swinging like a pendulum behind him. As he came closer Quatre took in the simple gold band on Duo's left hand. They each had dealt with matters during the war in their own ways, and it was no different after. For Duo the best way for him to settle into the peace, was with his love at his side. Not even a full month had passed before he had proposed to Hilde; Quatre could not say that it had surprised him; however the intended union did cause some legal problems. Neither Duo nor Hilde were of the age that they could take this big step, even with the government in disarray with everyone trying to find their place, the young couple was met with legal blockades. 

It had been at that point, when it seemed a hopeless task, when Quatre stepped in. It was not that he wanted to make Duo go through a virtual hell, only he felt that as a friend it was his duty to make sure, the former pilot was absolutely serious about this commitment. It had not been an easy process for even Quatre himself to work through, as he was also being saddled with the responsibility of trying to bring about a mutual peace with the earth; certainly he had seen easier tasks. Regardless of other matters Quatre had done all that he could for his friend, and along with the help of Relena and Zechs, the marriage could legally take place. Unfortunately for Duo, all the paperwork and meeting had taken so long, that when the problems had all been past, November ninth had already come and past, and along with it Duo's best man.

Clearing his thoughts once more, Quatre sighed, he was far to easily distracted of late, especially today, where his mind would like to be anywhere but in the present. He smiled warmly at both Duo and Wufei; Trowa was off on leave to spend some time with his sister, helping with the circus. A sombre air fell about the three young adults as they stared at each other in the sun lit hallway. Not even Duo's cheerful spirits held up that well on this day, anyone who knew him, could see easily, the fire that burned in the back of his usually mischief's eyes. It was at times hard to say who had taken the betrayal harder, Relena or Duo.

"How's Relena?" he questioned quietly of his two friends, as always deeply worried for one of his closest friends.

Duo shrugged slightly, eyes flashing with rage, "What can you expect? She's basically kept to herself all day, as usual…"

Wufei remained silent; arms crossed over his muscled chest, of all the pilots it had been Wufei who had managed to keep the calmest head in the face of that day. Even now he kept his thoughts and opinions firmly under raps. It was something Quatre could respect; though at times he would have given anything to know what the Chinese man was thinking. A little over a year ago it had been Wufei who met up with Yuy, none of them knew what was said if anything, it was something the former pilot had refused point blank to speak about. He was the only one to have had any contact with Yuy since Quatre had spoken with him after the assassination attempt. 

His features took on a more serious note, "I really don't see why this has to happen today, would it really make all that much difference if we waited till tomorrow?"

"It has to be today, our source have been becoming more active over the last few weeks, something is definitely about to happen. Besides the sooner we move her to a secured location, the safer she'll be," Duo said firmly, there was no humour in his voice, there never was on this day. "No one other than us know about the cottage, she'll be safe their till we can figure all this out." 

Quatre nodded, "I can appreciate all this, however I still feel that this is rather a cruel time to confront her about this…" he trailed off for a moment, folding his arms in a similar fashion to Wufei's, "And tell me this, why me? You're both more than capable of telling her about this yourselves…"

"It has to be you," Wufei cut in finally onyx eyes hard, "and it has to be today. We can protect her, but when she has a mind to, nothing we say can have any effect on her, you've reasoned with her before you'll do it again." Quatre did not miss the lack of a requesting tone in Wufei's voice, "And it must be today, not only for the fact that a strike could come at any time, but today of all days, Relena's most aware of her vulnerability."

"Alright, is everything ready for the move?" Quatre agreed with a sigh.

The braided man nodded, "Everything's prepared she can be off the minute she agrees…"

"And if she doesn't?" 

"You can be the one she's mad at," Duo shrugged, it was no attempt at humour, it seemed creepy to Quatre.

Wufei unfolded his arms taking a step closer, "Anderson and Ryan, are going to go with her, they're packed and ready." 

The young President nodded, "All that's left now is for me to tell her," looking over both faces for a moment longer, Quatre gave them a half hearted smile and turned to leave. But he was stopped by a sudden question that entered his mind, "Have we any word yet…"

"No word yet on whether he's involved," Wufei cut in seeming to know exactly what Quatre had wanted to know, though the tone of his voice left little room for doubt. 

With one last sad nod of his head Quatre turned the corner, entering the hall that brought him directly to Relena's office. It was in more than one way terrifying to imagine the peace being destroyed; if it did happen it was most likely something the world and colonies would never recover from, at all cost they must keep it from happening. The time for thinking matters over, Quatre realised was at an end, as he was standing outside the office doors, and he had already wasted enough time. With only minimal hesitation Quatre walked confidently into the reception room.

The young secretary behind the hardwood desk, jumped in surprise at his sudden entrance. She came to her feet stuttering, "M…Mmr…Pppresident…?!"

"It's alright Hanna," he smiled soothingly at the young girl, who was so easily startled by the unexpected. Perhaps not the best choice for a secretary, but she performed all her other tasks so well that Relena kept her. "I take it Relena's in?"

"Y…yes Sir…" she responded with a little more control.

"Thank you," Quatre strode across the spacious room, lined with chairs along the walls, and small tables where forms could be filled out. Much of Relena's day to day work was the little things that would otherwise be over looked, she did not seem to mind dealing with the insignificant matters, and in fact she had often told him that all matters were important at least to someone. For courtesy's sack he knocked once upon Relena's door, knowing full well that she never denied anyone access. As expected Quatre caught Relena's soft voice from through the thick door biding him to come in. 

Drawing in one last calming breath, Quatre walked in, crossing his final line of defence. There was no turning back now, as he stepped over the threshold, he would have to answer the questions that he had until now not even considered. Quatre tried to formulate some path that the conversation should take, one that would cause the least amount of pain for the both of them, however he knew that no amount of planning would keep the questions on course. Forcing a smile to his young features Quatre walked into the office, his blue eyes seeking out Relena immediately. 

The former Queen of the world sat behind her desk, reading over a form, which she held in one delicate hand. She was so small, Quatre mused to himself, so very fragile, and yet it had been her more than anyone who had brought about the peace. It seemed at times that a strong wind would surely break her crystal form, and yet she had with stood not only the assassination attempt, but the emotional turmoil, which had followed. Quatre was not the only one to love her, all the pilots did, along with the world, but Quatre also had a supreme respect for her, and her undying faith. There were times when he thought she might still hold out a small hope, that these last three years could just be explained away.

"Quatre," Relena looked up from her work, a dazzling smile painting her face, though he could tell it was slightly forced. "What a surprise, what brings you here?" she questioned, eyes studying him intently, as though to gain the answer from his features.

Trying not to sigh, Quatre took his time in answering anything to delay the inevitable. He strode toward the desk slowly, taking in the furnishing, which Relena herself had picked out. They were elegant, but sat in the background of the viewers mind, your attention was drawn instead towards the centre of the room where Relena would be waiting, the one place Quatre did not want his attention to be. Once he reached the deep armchairs that sat before the large oak desk he began to speak, "How have you been?"

Relena's smile vanished, as she broke eye contact, busying herself with the loose papers laying upon her desk, "I've been fine," she said, though he could tell she did not mean it, there was no conviction in her voice. Several moments passed before she looked back up at him, a small fire of determination in her beautiful eyes, "I've lived through worse, this is only a day…"

Quatre nodded in agreement, though it broke his heart to hear Relena say such things, he was almost positive that that was not how she felt on the inside. Matters would certainly have been easier on her if she had. "I'm glad to hear it," he replied, voice eyes so slightly subdued.

Shaking her head a ghost of a smile appeared, somehow changing her entire face, though he could not clearly say how. "You all worry too much about me…" her eyes shone with love for him, and Quatre could not help smiling back at her. She had a way of controlling the emotions of a room, few people could be sad or upset when Relena was around, he did not know what it was, but he was glad for it. Though he could not help wondering how much she suffered in her attempts to hide how she really was feeling. "So why have you come, I would not have thought the President would have all that much spare time to come by for an unexpected visit."

"Would 'I was in the neighbourhood' be acceptable?"

"No I'm afraid not, you Gundam pilots are never just in the neighbourhood, especially Gundam pilots turned President of the colonies. So really what brought you?" she asked cocking her head to one side as she continued her unending study of his face.

Nothing of coursed showed, Quatre let nothing slip now, being honest was one thing, however letting a delicate situation get entirely out of hand, due to a facial expression, was completely unacceptable. "Lately our sources have been picking up increased movements in some fractions that we've been watching."

"I've heard about this," Relena nodded, the first hints of suspicion entering her expression then, "I get daily reports about this…" she trailed off, but the meaning of her statement was not lost to him. Why would the President of the colonies feel the need relay information that any desk clerk could and did do?

"Yes well, for the most part it's just traffic, however in the last few days we've been picking up evidence of some plot…"

"Wait let me guess…a plot against me?" Relena cut in eyes flashing. "And they sent you in to try and convince me of some knew safety measure…am I right?" she looked none too impressed right at that moment.

Swallowing Quatre looked for the best method to defuse the situation that was very quickly getting out of hand. "Nothing has been confirmed as of yet, but we can't be too careful, not when we have the peace, it's now that we must be constantly on our toes…" he paused for a seconds seeing that his words were not having that much effect. "You know your safety is very important, in my opinion more so than mine."

For a moment her eyes lost the anger, and she leaned towards him, "I understand how important I am for the people, I'm reminded of it ever day. I also understand that we can't afford to be too careful with the peace." He nodded his agreement breathing a sight of relief, "However I also do not intend to cower whenever there's so much as a whisper of danger. What will that say to the people? That I do not trust in the peace that we have formed? That is not the type of message I can or will give."

Shaking her head Relena came to her feet walking around the desk small hands clasped into tight fists, "I agreed to what you see here," she emphasised, gesturing to the surrounding, windowless room. "And if you'll recall, I told all of you that this was as much as I was going to give, I will not hide from a threat."

"We're not asking you to hide from a threat, were asking you to protect the peace by protecting yourself. The people will think no less of you for taking such…" he searched for the right word all the while carefully watching the emotions on her face, "Precautions. If you were injured," Quatre just barely managed to catch himself before he said again, "The peopled would definitely be more outraged than if you tried to protect yourself."

Relena crossed her arms beneath her breast, "Yes that might be, but this 'threat' if we should even call it that, has not even been confirmed. Show me evidence give me proof, what if this is all a mistake, could it be that people actually want peace this time for good?" her voice was growing angrier with each syllable.

The former pilot could not keep from sighing, "Relena I trust the others' instincts, they believe that you are in danger. This is something you have to trust as well…"

"I don't disbelieve you!" she fumed in frustration pacing about the room, before coming to rest beside his chair. "But I wanted to believe in them! And this…this…threat, is shaking that belief" she looked off not really watching anything, "I don't want to give up on them yet…not yet…" Relena all but whispered.

Quatre dropped his head to one hand, fully understanding Relena's words, "We're not giving up yet…but what if it's him?" his head shot up in shock, the words had slipped out without intention. His eyes darted over to Relena to gage her reaction to what was perhaps the curliest blow he could have dealt, her cerulean eyes were wide with, he could not exactly call if horror or shock, but something he could not understand, something he would never be able to understand.

"You don't think he is…do you?" her words tore at his heart.

"There's no way to be sure, not entirely, I'm sorry I said it…" Quatre looked away, focusing on a spot about a meter away, though he was still aware of Relena's every move. 

For a long time nothing was said. A painful silence clung to the room with unforgiving hands, almost as though it wished to crush the two young souls present. Quatre wanted to look at Relena, make sure everything was okay, when he knew in his heart that matters could not hope to be okay. However he kept his eyes focused where they were, this conversation had basically gone as he had expected it would, perhaps even a little worse than he had first thought. He could understand all of Relena's arguments, but weighing their merit against those of his own, he knew that if it came to it, he would force the issue no matter what she said. It seemed that Relena also knew this in her heart, as finally she sighed, a tiny, almost defeated sigh.

"It makes no difference what I say does it?" she questioned, her voice subdued. "You already have me packed, don't you?"

Now Quatre did look over, eyes slightly downcast, he did not really want to look her in the face. "Yes…we would have liked for you to willingly agree, but it has to be done." Coming to his feet apologetically Quatre forced his light blue eyes to look into her own, what he found there was not at all what he had expected.

In the back of his mind he believe he might see Relena fighting back tears, at the mere thought that the attack might have been coming from _Him_. However this was not the case at all, her expression was yes subdued, but her eyes were not. There was a fire of determination within those usually shinning orbs, which almost caused a shiver to run down his spin. "I almost hope it's him…" she whispered looking him straight in the face, "I want answers."

Quatre was at a loss for words, his mind was racing to catch up with what he just heard, and Relena was giving him no time. "I take it I'm already packed?" it was half a question, as she walked back around her desk, to carefully place the loose sheets of paper in a folder. 

"Yes…" he responded blinking several times, "Wufei and Duo have selected Anderson and Ryan to accompany you," he managed finally to shake off the dazed stupor that he had fallen into. 

"And what will the public be told?" Relena sat once more at her desk scrupulously putting everything to rights, "I'm assuming that I'm to leave right away?"

Nodding his head to the second question Quatre answered the first; "They will be told that you have taken a extended vacation, merely because you have yet to take a single day off, that was not forced upon you. The public will most definitely be pleased that you have decided to do this for yourself."

"Yes," Relena breathed sarcasm dripping from her voice, "Isn't it nice that I decided to do this for myself…" she sat with her hands folded together on the desk, looking ever inch the princess that she was. Quatre blushed at this but said nothing, "I'll go without trouble, but I want to be updated often as to what is happening, this is as much my business as it is the worlds, and I don't intend to be left in the dark."

The former pilot raked one hand through his hair, sighing in relief, "I'll do what I can, but they many be few and far between. No one outside of our small group knows of the cottage, and if we start throwing around transmissions, someone might find out." There was no reason to specify which someone he was speaking about, they both knew. "Under no circumstance are you to try and make contact with us…"

"It's alright Quatre I know…" she said standing gracefully, he nodded mutely.

"I'm sorry it had to come to this."

Relena gave him a truly warm smile, as if to reassure him, "So am I Quatre, but lets not give up hope just yet. Mankind may yet surprise us."

He loved how much faith she had in the people around her; Quatre had not yet lost faith, however he was finding it harder and harder to be optimistic in such situations. It was almost a constant fear, the peace being destroyed, he was almost positive that if it was the world would not recover. That was why he and the others were doing everything they could to prevent any form of major conflict. He had a feeling deep in his heart, that if they could just manage to get their hands on Yuy, a great deal of the tension that was floating about the world would be alleviated. 

She stepped around her desk, and came to a stop right in front of him. For a time she looked at him, her pretty face upturned so she could see his face, as he stood head and shoulders taller than her. Relena's honey blond hair spilled down her back, and Quatre found that his fingers itched to touch the soft strands, but he contained himself. Over the years he along with the other pilots had come to care for her more greatly than they did anyone else. She was like a younger sister, one they guarded from ever danger, yet at times Quatre almost felt like it could be more, had there not been something standing in the way.

Relena hugged him about the waist suddenly, pulling the President from his thoughts. A tender smile touched his features, as he slowly closed his own arms about her tiny form. It felt so good to hold her to him, as if something clicked in the world when she was in his arms. But as always there was something, it was so small, almost insignificant; nevertheless it continued to nag at him. Telling him that this could not be, would not be. He did not know from where this feeling originated, yet he could not ignore it, and so he remained at the distance Relena had set. 

She shifted in his arms, once more breaking his line of thought, "Don't think it will always be this easy," Relena warned with a gentle smile.

"I look forward to a time when we no longer have to do this," he replied seriously.

Shrugging her slim shoulders, Relena stepped away, "It's probably not necessary now, but as you say better safe than sorry, besides a vacation at the cottage is not all bad."

"I'm glad you see it that way, it will ease my mind, along with the others."

"I should really go and change," she stepped from his embrace, and Quatre felt as though a part of his heart was going with her. Looking back over her shoulder while she stood half way out the door, Relena's face had taken one a grave expression, "I look forward to hearing from you." She did not give him the chance to respond as her lithe form slipped from the room, leaving Quatre alone, in a void of silence.

***

Relena glided down the empty halls of her large home; mind not really focused on anything save the conversation she had just left, and what it would mean. She found it increasingly more difficult not to give into the despair, which stalked at the edge of her emotions. Everyone looked to her, it was because of this that most times she could not let the really emotion that she was feeling show, for the sake of the weaker, she hid what she was truly feeling behind a mask of optimism. This might have gained her a lot of respect among the other officials, but it left her feeling drained. She had been so long at this game that she almost never actually expressed her real feelings, it was simply easier to show what people wanted to see, all the time. As a posed to switching between the two.

As it was, Relena did not quite know what to feel in this situation, her emotions were a jumbled mess, one that could take days to work her way through. She realised that she would have the time to do so, as Quatre never specified a date or time that this 'forced' vacation would come to an end. Sighing, Relena forced a smile to her features as she passed one of the many maids that worked within the confines of her beautiful prison. That was what it was, she had decided some years back, a glorious prison, with ever comfort imaginable, but a prison none the less. Knowing that she was important to the peace, was about the only think that kept her within the invisible walls. There had been a time when the shackles did not felt nearly so tight, but that had been three years ago, when she could share the burden with another, it was something she was not about to gain back.

Her stride picked up speed, in response to the frustration that she was feeling. It was an emotion she could never seem to put into words, it was far too broad, and so many other feelings were always mixed in that she could not find a place to begin. She felt as though she were being consumed by a fire, one that no amount of water could quench. And it had all been started by _him_; just the thought of him brought more emotions to mingle with the ones that already coursed through her tiny body, lending more confusion and anger. Like a whirlpool, Relena was slowly being pulled down, to either drown, or discover what was on the other side. A part of her was sure it was the former as a posed to the latter.

With a shake of her head, which sent golden tresses flying in all directions, Relena banished all thoughts of him from her mind, and focused in stead on making it to her room, with a pleasant expression upon her face. There was no reason to worry the men and women who worked for her. She usually kept such thinking to secluded places, where none would see, much like their relationship had been. Relena nearly sobbed at the thought, as grief suddenly overwhelmed her. One small trembling hand found its way to her mouth, as she struggled to breathe. Thankfully she stood outside the door to her room, and was able to slip in unnoticed. 

She threw the door closed behind her, and as the tears began to slip from her tightly closed eyes Relena's diminutive fist slammed against the hard wood, in the only way she could express her frustration. "Ms Peacecraft?" a soft voice questioned from the silence. Mortification filled Relena as she opened one tear filled eyes, to see her worst fear confirmed. Standing before her were the two men who had been assigned as her bodyguards, both with an expression of concern on their faces.

Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment, she had not ever wanted anyone to see her like this. With a great deal of effort Relena managed to pull her emotions under control, locking the more volatile ones away, to be dealt with at a later date. She looked at the two men, having no idea what to say to them, their presence had been so unexpected. "Are you alright Ms Peacecraft?" the second man asked, she recognised him as Anderson. 

"Yes everything's fine," she answered quickly, though she could tell neither truly believed it, Trying to gather some of her lost dignity Relena crossed the sitting room, making her way towards her bedroom so she could change out of her business suit. Both sets of eyes followed her with concern but neither man said anything or tired to stop her. Once inside the sanctuary, which was her bedroom Relena moved over to the vanity table, and sat down staring at her pale reflection. How could she have let herself lose control like that, and in front of those two men? Her cheeks still felt as though they were on fire.

She berated herself for a lack of control, and ran a hand over her face, wiping away the tears. Relena still felt like weeping, but she pushed the need aside, refusing to give into it again, actually surprised at how fast the tears had come upon her. She usually had better control than that, however today was not a usual day. With one last look at her sad features, Relena stood and moved to her closet, looking through what cloths were still left on the hangers, and selected something nice to wear. She did not hurry to change, wanting as much time to herself that she could get. Sitting back down on the padded bench Relena cocked her head to one side considering her reflection, and what to do about her hair.

Sunlight spilled in though the thick windows, giving off no warmth, but more than enough light. It caused her hair to sparkle, and shimmer in ways no other light could. Not really wanting to think at the moment Relena allowed her eyes to lose themselves in the layout of her room, through the mirror that she was gazing into. A king sized canopy bed spread out behind her, far too large for her, but there really wasn't anything she could do to change it. Looking upon it was not a comfortable sight, as it was so open and lonely, so she quickly moved her eyes on. A great fire place with an engraved marble mantel took over the wall at the foot of her bed, within the hearth was a small well tended fire, which added warmth to the otherwise cold room. She often fell asleep simply staring off into the flames; there was something hypnotic about them, soothing in a way that nothing else could be. 

Relena knew she did not need a house of this size, yes she had always lived in the large and very wealthy homes, but she did not need them. At times they could have such and empty open feel, as though they were waiting to swallow you into their oblivion, never to be seen again. Yet the world would have it no other way, she suggested once moving out, and allowing the home to be given a better use, such as that of an orphanage. But the people were almost outraged at the idea, and so she had just let it be, contenting herself with the loneliness of her home. That as well had not always been the case, Relena refused to allow her thoughts to go down that road, as it would only cause more anguish. 

With a barely audible sigh, Relena gathered her hair together, and with quick hands braided it's long length, and tying off the end with a simple blue elastic, she came to her feet. They men outside would not come into her room, however they would also not wait forever, she had delayed long enough. It was time that she left as she promised she would, to wait in the shadows for news of this plot, and those involved. Her face once more composed, Relena stepped from her room to be greeted with the concerned faces of her bodyguards. She offered them a smile, which looked genuine, and quietly assured them that she was fine. 

"We must be off ma'am," Ryan said gesturing towards the door, and placing one hand near the small of her back he made to guide her in that direction. She allowed them to conduct her through the halls of her home, with a silent air following about them. Relena was rather surprised not to see either Duo or Wufei, she would have expected them at least to make some form of goodbye, yet each hall they turned down, proved to be as empty as the first.

She glanced at the two men, who had been given the task of keeping her safe. Both were about average height for a man, and so stood a clean head taller than her. Anderson was well built if not very handsome, where as his partner Ryan was lean, and quite attractive. They both moved, with a sense of being on their toes at all times, even in the safe confines of her home, their eyes were always moving searching for any hidden danger. Relena did not feel safe with them. It was not that she feared for her life, no, she rarely did. More it was that these two men did not give off the aura of being on top of everything, as the pilots did. Sure they could handle whatever came their way, but they might not see it coming, and that foresight Relena had always found a comforting thought.

As they continued to walk Relena could see now that she was being led towards the servants' entrance, most likely that would be were her unassuming car would be waiting. She knew that the land about her house appeared peaceful and quiet, it always did. But that by no means meant there was not some photographer waiting in the bushes to get a picture of her. They would not consider the servants' entrance, as she had refused to use it before. Relena did not want to set barriers between her and the people, if men and women thought that filling their magazines with pictures of her, would sell them, they were welcomed to try it. She was reassured with the single thought that she had the best hackers in the world, and so the magazines only got the best shots of her.

Walking out of the main house and into the car bay where the vehicle waited, Relena found the two elusive pilots. They stood together by the nondescript car, which would carry her on the first leg of her journey. Duo came forward immediately, and pulled her into a tight embrace, "Don't worry we'll end this, fast," he whispered into her ear as she hugged him back. 

"You always do," was her own quiet response. She did not want to draw this out, for fear of her mind travelling back down the paths, which only lead to grief. Moving away from the braided man, she took a moment to consider Wufei, he stood off to one side, with his arms crossed, his dark features drawn into a serious expression. Relena stepped towards him, a tiny smile on her face, Wufei had changed a great deal over the last few years, or so she was told. She had not known him well enough during to war to say for herself. There was one thing however that she was very certain of, and that was she felt safest when in his presence. She had never told anyone this; least of all Wufei, as she knew it would draw comparison that the other pilots did not want to see.

They stood looking at each other for several moments, the silence of the room hanging about the pair like a cloak. Relena could sense the urgency from the two men set to guard her, but she ignored it, she was not going to move until she had gained exactly what she wanted. Wufei too seemed to realise this, and as his features softened he slowly unfolded his arms to take her into a quick hug. He said nothing, and to be honest she had not expected him to, he did not speak for the sake of filling the silence, as Duo did, but rather waited until the information he had was needed.

With the goodbyes finally at an end Relena stepped back and looked over to Ryan, who had positioned himself near the back door of the car. Nodding slightly, he pulled the door opened for her, and offered his hand to help her in. Anderson was already sitting in the front seat waiting patiently, however even with his nearness, as the door was closed behind her with a resounding _click_ she suddenly felt very alone, and cut off. Gazing out the heavily tinted window, Relena watched the two pilots who were like older brothers. They moved to stand beside one another, and though she could not hear, Relena could see words pass between them.

She wondered what it was they were planning, and she wished that she could be a part of it, that the abilities she had been gifted with could be of some use to them. Yet they could not, and she would be left within the shadows for a long time. Relena scrutinised their eyes, carefully reading the emotions in them, both appeared outwardly determined. Nevertheless she could tell that it was merely a brave face meant for those around them, what they were truly feeling was buried much deeper. She could see it, in the deepest recess of their eyes, it made her wonder, and fear, had they all lost faith?


	3. Unforeseen Flaw

****

Mistaken Words

AN: ^_^ thanks to everyone who has reviewed thus far!!! I think I should have mentioned in the beginning that this story is slightly AU, only because the Preventers weren't around during Endless Waltz. Everything else happened as it did in the movie…ummmm why that is necessary won't become clear for a while ^_^ and I don't want to spoil it for you. 

Disclaimer: nope don't own!

****

Unforeseen Flaw

A figure sat within the shadowed corner, a void of silence hanging about him, which seemed to defy the defining roar of the helicopter's engine. He sat alone, back against the wall assault rifle cradled easily in his strong arms. All those with him knew better than to try and get close, he was not here to socialise, they shouted back and forth to one another, their words lost in the wind and noise. His body was numb with the cold, even with the protective clothing, but he put it out of his mind, as he focused upon other matters. The wind outside was picking up, causing the helicopter to move side to side as much as forward, they would be cutting it close to make it to the drop off point before the storm hit. Breathing in the air he could tell it would be a hard one, might not let up for days once it started. 

Drawing his knees closer to his chest, he dropped his head down slightly, glaring out of the corner of one eye, at the only man sitting near to him. Ash leaned easily back against the wall, an identical assault rifle resting as if forgotten by his side, his face was relaxed, and even pleasant, one might say. Ash seemed to sense the glare directed at him, and glanced over, he gave a slight nod of recognition, before returning his attention to the men beneath him. There were about a dozen of them, all dressed in black, carrying weaponry and supplies, certainly not a common sight for peacetime. His own hands tightened about the rifle that he held so close, he did not expect that the weapon would actually come into use, but in situations as this one, you could never be too cautious.

They had been travelling for more than an hour, their destination in a secluded part of this large mountain range. Only a select few knew of it, and he was one of them, which was why he was a part of this mission, he was playing the role of guide. The location had been chosen, not only for its remoteness, but also for the fact that in this specific part of the mountains it was incredibly easy to get lost. He had briefed all the men at the start of it, and Ash appeared to feel comfortable with what was required, so being the senior member, Ash had taken the point position. It was all the same to him, no matter who was leading; this would all turn out the same in the end. 

Inhaling a breath of the frigid air, he turned his attention back to where it had been focused before, a small circular window, across the short expanse of the helicopter. He could not see much out of it, save the snow that was beginning to blow in the strong winds, however ever once in a while there would be a brief hint of the mountainous peeks, which where concealed in the night. They would be nearing their destination soon, he could not say where they were from looking but he had a general idea from the time that had passed. Sure enough, within a matter of seconds, the black space beyond the glass window was no longer so empty. His sharp eyes could pick out the darker forms of large evergreens, which rose up around them. Without thought he began to move, relieving the tension that had built within his muscles from the long flight over, he could not afford to be stiff for what he had to do.

Ash, it would appear, had also been paying close attention to the time, as he glanced down at his watch, and shouted to them all, "Three minutes to drop off!!!" After those words, there was a great deal of movement among the men, and the talking all but stopped, as one and all began to focus upon their goals. He appeared as though he were not even paying attention from where he rested silently in his corner, yet he was the most prepared of them all. Adrenaline flowed freely through his veins heightening his awareness and reflexes; he gave his body a few seconds to adjust to the sudden onslaught of the natural chemical, knowing it could be hours before it began to wear off. 

Without a word to anyone, or a single sound, not that it could have been heard over the engine if there had been one, he came to his feet and moved towards the door. Those sitting close to it unconsciously moved away, giving him a wide birth. He gripped the handle tightly with both hands, and with a slight grunt hauled it aside, allowing the numbing wind and snow to rush in, stealing everyone's breath away with its sharp fingers. Giving it no thought he glanced out the door to the snow covered ground below, watching the smaller trees race by beneath them, this part of the world was almost completely untouched by man. The wind tore through his hair with icy fingers, but it only drew him further out the door, one hand casually gripping a rope, which would be dropped down for their descent. 

He heard someone shout to him, but ignored their words; this was where he would leave them. They had their mission, and he had his own. Shouldering his assault rifle, he waited counting down the seconds in his mind to the point where the helicopter would leave them. Leaning out a little more, he could feel the wind trying to rip him from the very doorway, in the distance he could just make out the clearing that was their intended destination. The harsh blasts of freezing air, were quickly causing his hard face to become raw, though he did not feel it. 

Underneath him the clearing was centred, and the helicopter began to hover, waiting for them to unload. The men where all on their feet now waiting to attach there harnesses to the rope and lower themselves to the snowy ground. That was the one piece of equipment that he was lacking, throwing the rope out the door, he let the wind catch it up and tear it around. Without a glance at the men nearing behind, he took a firm grip of the rope with one hand, while the other held his weapon to his shoulder, and leaped from the threshold. He barely heard the shouts of surprise, before he was plummeting towards the earth.

The heat formed between his glove and the rope, soon emanated to his palm but by that time he was almost to the ground. He broke his momentum by landing in a forward shoulder roll, which was made considerably slower due to the deep snow. On his feet in seconds, he quickly scanned the surroundings, instinctively moving to the shadows where he was safest. The storm was clearly picking up, as the snow was falling with much greater conviction now than it had only moments before. It made the distant trees across the clearing appear indistinct, and gave him the feeling that he was even more isolated, even the helicopter did not seem quite so loud. His gloved hand still was giving off a good deal of heat, and he absently dropped to one knee, placing the hand into the snow. 

Several minutes past before the first of Ash's troops landed upon the ground, his fall much more controlled than the one who went before them. The man seemed to glance about clearly searching for the daring soldier, but his eyes were not as sharp, and he missed the slightly darker shadow among the hazy trees. The man of the shadows moved off from the clearing, not wanting to stay around and be faced with the questions he knew Ash was already forming in his head. There would be more than enough time for those later. He moved through the deep snow with a practised ease, there was very little in the world that could actually hinder him during a mission. The helicopter had dropped them off about an hour north of their destination, and he intended to reach it before the others, and by a different path than the one he had told Ash about.

He did not fear them finding his tracks and following them, if the dark was not enough to stop them, then the snow certainly would be, at the rate it was falling he could hardly make a mark before it began filling once more. His breath misted before him, tiny puffs of steam that hardly disappeared before the next came. It was difficult with all the adrenaline, but he managed to keep with breathing slow and even, so maximising the oxygen that reached every part of his toned body. Like a hunting animal he slipped though the eternal forest, shifting from one shadow to the next, making not a sound, his ears listened for everything unnatural. Just because they were not expected did not mean something could not easily go wrong. 

For a moment as he moved steadily towards his target, he considered the location and it's advantages. Yes it was secluded, which could almost always be a benefit, and next to no one knew about it, which made it all the more safer than any security measure could. However it was far from perfect, he knew about it, that was the first and for most flaw in the location, the second being, that because it had to be so low key, one could not really set up a base or even patrol of guards. Laser wires were even more useless, as animals were constantly passing though. Therefore, the home was basically defenceless, those in side were by no means 'sitting ducks' however there was very little they could do once surrounded, as they were soon to be. 

The path that he travelled was a short cut, and because of that, he was forced to pass through rougher terrain. Shifting the strap of his assault rifle over his head so the deadly weapon was hanging across his back, he stepped towards a cliff face; hands immediately searching for the necessary holds. This was not the first time that he had journeyed on these very same grounds; in fact he had done so many times before. He had made sure to familiarise himself with the land around knowing that a day like this one would arrive, and he would need to be ready. 

Hauling himself up and over the edge, he moved on again quickly, only a short distance now from what he sought. His breathing remained steady and even, not effected by the exertion of the climb. Having been travelling for about twenty minutes, he let his speed pick up, his strides in the snow lengthened as much as they could, he moved from a cautious walk to almost a lope, which carried him easily across the uneven ground. He had not realised until now how much he wanted to reach the end of this journey. His mind had been focused on other matters, however now, as he was steadily drawing closer, he could think of little else.

So much planning and time had gone into this, and he knew exactly where it would all go wrong, he had know from the beginning, and said nothing. Even with the unforeseen flaw, the end result would be the same, the only reason he had not mentioned it to them is because at all times he wanted to be in control of this situation. He had never needed to be in a position of power, in fact he hated it, knowing that he was no leader, but at the same time he was no real follower either, he worked best alone. Yet there were certain matters that he could not ride on the sidelines for, nor could he stay out of them altogether, there just some instances that he needed to be the one making the decisions.

Coming to a slow stop at the edge of a secluded glen, he dropped down to one knee, and peered out through the haze of snow, towards his destination. Surrounded and sheltered by ancient trees was a large beautifully constructed cottage; its arching windows filled with pale lights from within. It seemed like the type of sight one would read about in a fairy tale, yet it was all too real. Sliding his assault rifle back to his shoulder, Heero Yuy took one last look at the home before fading back into the snow-covered night.

***

Flames danced upon the burning logs, sending a myriad of light and shadows against every surface of the beautiful cottage. Sitting before the roaring fire, with a thickly quilted blanket tucked about her Relena could help but sigh with contentment. Whether this was forced vacation or not, she could not deny the absolute serenity of this secret home. Two years ago the pilots had approached her with a new safety measure, that being, this cottage. They had suggested it be built in a remote location, so it could be kept a complete secret, giving her a place to go in case of danger, the fact that no one else other than the pilots knew, meant that she could, in theory go alone. The pilots had built the house themselves, and proved yet again that there was next to nothing they could not do so long as they had some small reference for guidance.

She looked back upon those months, with a fond smile, she had been there with them to offer what assistance she could, and it had turned out to be one of the best times of her life. It had drawn them all closer together, reaffirming the bonds that they had forged during and shortly after the war. There was only one shadow on those memories, as there was with all her recent memories, and that was the fact that the pilots had been led to the idea of this protective cottage, by the assassination attempt. Before that there had been no threats upon her life, and it seemed as if there never would be, she moved about without fear, and that ability drew the people closer to her.

~_Now look at me_~ she thought in disgust, ~_Hiding away in fear of my life, as though I do not believe in the peace that has lasted for three years_~ the worst of it was that she was completely in the dark. She had been at the cottage for a week and had not yet her from Quatre or any of the pilots for that matter. The Winner heir had warned that communications would be few and far between, but she would have at least likes something, anything just to give her an idea as to what was being done. Relena hated not knowing what was going on, and unfortunately to remain unknown, she could not have a number of the usual luxuries. There was power, but it came from a completely self-sustaining system that Duo had built. 

Relena shook her head, to clear it of such dark thoughts, she was positive that if something were to have happened, one of them would have found a way to inform her of it. Tearing her eyes away from the flames, and their hypnotic dance Relena glanced about to where Anderson and Ryan where. One was almost always in the same room as her, appearing ever alert, no matter how often she reminded them that it was not necessary to be on guard every second. Where the other was she was never quite sure, patrolling something. After three days and no results, she gave up on trying to relax the men, and let them go about their work as they saw fit. She was grateful to the fact that they did not hinder her during the day, and basically left her, to her own devices. 

They all sat down to meals together, and she was pleased to find that these two quiet men were actually rather easy to get to know. They seemed to have no trouble speaking with her, and after she told them not to worry about rank, the conversation flowed almost without end. Relena actually found herself glad that they had been told to come, being alone would have driven her crazy. Scanning the room with her cerulean orbs Relena took in the layout of the room, it was large, and basically left open, with a vaulting ceiling. She really liked the appearance of the thick beams lacquered so they glowed with the fires light. The furnishings were comfortable and rustic adding to the atmosphere that she wanted. In the open room it did not take her long to catch sight of Ryan, sitting in a wooden chair by one of the large windows, his eyes seemed to divide their attention between the room, and the storm that was pouring more snow down upon them. 

A tiny smile over took her face as she studied the man quietly, he was very sweet, and seemed always to know what to say to a lady. Out of the two he was the easiest to speak with, though Anderson was not stand-offish, he was just a little less social. Relena stood and carefully folded the quilt that had been draped over her; "I was going to make myself some hot chocolate, would you like some Tom?" she inquired while she carefully placed the blanket on the chair. It had not taken her long to learn their full names, Thomas Ryan, and Derrick Anderson.

Tom glanced over to her, his handsome face smiling, "No thank you…"

She cocked her head to one side, it sounded to her as though he did not want to trouble her, "You can't turn down real hot chocolate, are you sure?" her own smile was dazzling.

He laughed slightly; "Can anyone say no to you?"

"Nope, which is why we have the peace," she winked, and began to walk across the living room towards the spacious kitchen when she heard a crash coming from the basement. Instantly she froze, looking over to Ryan, who was all business now, standing by the window face a mask of seriousness. As silence once more descended she told herself to relax; it was probably just Anderson, though he was not known to be so clumsy. Forcing her lungs to take in air, Relena berated herself for being so jumpy, and began walking again, intent on finding out what happened.

"Relena stop," Tom warned, hand slowly reaching towards his gun.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you…" a voice cautioned from the short flight of stairs, which led to the bedrooms. Ryan's hand halted half way to its destination and his eyes turned to look in the direction the voice had come.

Relena stopped dead, her blood running cold, that had not been Anderson's voice. Spinning around she took hold of a couch to steady her trembling legs, "Who's there!" she demanded with as much authority as she could muster. 

"A simple man, your Majesty," came the reply but the man did not step forward, "Just a simple man."

"Show yourself!" Relena commanded. Her mind was racing, along with her emotions, whatever was happening was never supposed to take place, it was not supposed to be possible, though she reminded herself the pilots had taken measure in case it did. However at this moment she found that thought to be of little comfort. Her legs were screaming at her to run while her mind was telling her to remain, she was surprised to see her mind was winning.

"As you wish princess," his tone was not mocking, as she might have expected it would be. Slowly taking each step at a time, the man entered the room; he was swathed in black battle gear, and held an assault rifle at his hip, aiming it at Ryan. Relena studied the man, finding him to be just as he had said, simple; he had no really defining features, and looked to be in his early to mid thirties. He kept his focus between the two of them, seeming to be completely relaxed.

Drawing in a shuddering breath, Relena made herself speak through the shock that kept threatening to overwhelm her, "Who are you?"

The man's simple face broke into a smile, "Where are my manners?" turning his full attention to Ryan, he directed his next comment at the agent, "Drop your gun on the ground, and put your spare with it." A second past like a picture frozen in time, as the two stared down at one another, it was in this moment, when the man's full attention was on Ryan, that Relena could tell this man was no novice to the art of battle. With no other options Ryan did as he had been instructed, throwing both weapons to the floor, while glaring daggers at the other man. 

With that out of the way, the mysterious man motioned for Ryan to walk nearer to Relena, which Tom did though grudgingly. Now that they were both in easy sight, the smile returned as the man bowed forward slightly, "I am Ash, my Lady, and I am at your service."

Relena had no idea what to make of this man, he was dangerous, that she could tell with a glance, but he was not what she would have been expecting. No he was more like Duo, and even that did not classify the man properly, as he sounded sincere, where as Duo almost always sounded like he was making a joke. "Ash…" she tested the name, upon her tongue; it sounded as though it were code. Her features hardened becoming very authoritative, "If you are at my service, than place the gun aside."

"I would if I could princess, but I can't. Forgive me, but the weapon is necessary for my protection," he breathed face becoming serious.

Noise from behind cause Relena to spin, feeling her heart race, as though it wanted to jump from her chest. Two men came in carrying between them an unconscious Anderson, "What did you do to him?!" she appealed rushing to his side without thought for the weapons that could easily take her life. 

"I assure you my Lady, nothing permanent."

She knelt down at the man's side, pressing two fingers to his neck to reassure herself that this was the case. "Who are you?!" she all but cried over her shoulder, referring to all and not just an individual, "What do you want?!"

Ash placed his gun aside; no longer needing it as the two men who entered had taken over, guarding Ryan. He slowly crossed his arms over his chest as he watched her, "Princess we are the Free Born, what that means will all be made clear to you in time, along with what we want. But let me assure you now it is not war."

"How can you claim that? With such tactics as these?" she threw back in his face, still kneeling protectively by her fallen guard.

Walking deeper into the room Ash eased himself down, so he was sitting upon the back of the couch, which Relena had been standing beside. "If you're referring to the guns, may I point out my Lady that your men have them two."

"My men do not draw them upon innocent people," her voice took on a lofty air.

"And as I said mine was for protection, I truly doubt these excellent men would have allowed me near you without them."

Relena stood gracefully staring the man straight in the face, "It could not have hurt to try. You say you do not want war? Are you attempting to imply what I am seeing before me is not an immediate threat to my life, and therefore the peace?" she worked very hard to keep her voice calm, knowing that one could only get the best results when they were thinking clearly. 

"You are in no immediate danger," Ash agreed with a nod of his head, "No harm will come to you while you are in my care, that I assure you."

Looking over to Ryan, she saw the agent was glaring daggers at all the men in the room, Relena could tell that every muscle in his body was tensed, ready for any opportunity that might present itself. She closed her eyes for the briefest of seconds quickly looking over all her options, and there were not that many. Finally she opened her crystal eyes, "I believe you," she whispered, and saw Ryan shake his head adamantly, but she had already made her decision. 

Ash's smile returned, "Good, well with that settled, we could all relax…" he trailed off eyes turning to Ryan, "That is if your guard over there would give his word not to try anything funny."

Tom's face darkened, and seeing this Relena walked over to his side, "Please Tom, I don't want to see anyone get hurt," she pleaded resting one small hand upon his strong arm. The older man looked down at her, fear for her life clearly filling his eyes, and for a moment she was sure he would refuse. 

"…I give my word…" he said finally never taking his eyes off Relena.

"Excellent!" exclaimed their captor, sounding as though they had all agreed to a picnic, "Then shall we move your friend onto the couch?"

Relena's eyes moved back to Derrick, where he still lay upon the ground, oblivious to everything that was happening around him. She nodded once, and Tom moved forward to lift his friend's head while one of Ash's men took his legs. Pushing away her fear, Relena forced herself to walk over to the couch where Ash waited, as though everything were as it should be. By no means did she want to give them the benefit of thinking her scared, or unsure. Without even looking at Ash Relena grabbed hold of the plaid blanket, which had been draped over the back of the wooden couch. As the two men lay down their burden, Relena gently covered him with the warm blanket, and placed a pillow beneath his head. 

An uneasy silence descended over the room and those within it, as Relena knelt beside Derrick's head, resting a hand on his forehead. She wondered where it was they had hit him, and her fingers slowly made their way through his hair searching for any serious damage. His groan of pain told her more than touching did, when she had found the tender area. Glancing up Relena levelled a withering stare at Ash, who stood watching her quietly.

"Please don't do that princess, I was not the one to hit him…" Ash said leaning down on the couch, as though this were his home. It annoyed her no end that he could be so comfortable.

"No," she replied in an even tone, "But you were the man who brought them."

A groan brought both their eyes back down again, as Derrick began to shift slowly beneath the blanket. "Ugh…what happened?" he questioned, hazel eyes bury, but they were fast clearing, and thankfully they came to rest on Relena's face and not Ash's. 

"Now just relax," she soothed trying to think of the best way to tell him what happened, without causing him to react badly. There really was no safe way and so she chose to instead seat herself on the edge of the couch, with both hands resting on his chest. "A group calling themselves the Free Born has taken the cottage," that was all Derrick needed to hear, as he instantly tried to get to his feet. "No Derrick, relax I've given my word we won't fight them."

The dazed man fell back staring at her in disbelief; "How could you?"

"I don't want to see anyone else get hurt on my account," she looked straight into his eyes, "Give me your word that you won't start anything."

He did sit up then, slowly, pulling himself away from her hands; and glancing about the room, to the men present there, and their weapons, Derrick shook his head. "I can't do that Relena."

"You also can't stand up to these odds, my friend," Ash put in softly, his tone almost sounding dangerous.

Derrick shot him a glare, "I'll die protecting her," he vowed angrily.

"That truly is brave of you, but since her life is not in danger, I'd suggest doing as she asks, so we can all rest easy."

"There's nothing that can be done now," Relena added, wanting to stop any violence now before matter got out of hand. "Please…"

The agent's glare did not lessen, as he looked once more about the room, his gaze clearly landing heavily upon the assault rifles, which each man had in hand or near him. "If there is no danger, what of the guns?"

"Think of them as an insurance measure…we want as little blood shed as your princess here," said the plain faced man.

After what seemed an eternity Anderson looked back to Relena, an almost pleading light in his eyes; he was terrified for her safety. But Relena just smiled hoping it would reassure him, though she did not feel in the least bit assured herself. With a growl of protest Derrick finally nodded, "I'll do as the princess says."

"Thank you," Relena exclaimed throwing her arms about his neck, and allowing herself to finally breathe a sigh of relief. His arms slowly folded about her, adding a warmth to her body that she had not known she was missing. "Just rest here I'll go make you some tea," Anderson scanned the room, but did nod his head in acceptance.

With a single glance at Ash Relena stood and boldly made her way to the kitchen, daring any of them to stop her. No one stepped forward, but Ash did follow a step or two behind, motioning for his men to stay where they were. Relena moved about as though, Ash were a guest in her home, she would thinking of it in that way, much easier to deal with than accepting the truth of the situation; though that was always floating right at the back of her thoughts. "You're taking this very well princess," Ash commented as he sat down on one of the wooden chairs.

She scrutinised him from over one shoulder, as she filled the tea pot with water, "You don't actually believe that you're the first do you?" Relena questioned with one eyebrow arched.

"No of course not," he laughed, and she noticed then that he was not quite so plain, "I only meant you have as much control and pose as you do on TV."

"What can I say?" Relena shrugged turning the stove on to heat the water; "It's been drilled into me since I was a child." Turning around to face the other man Relena leaned back against the counter, "I'll never understand you type of people. After three years of peace why would you want to destroy it?"

Ash shook head slowly, "I never said we were trying to destroy the peace…"

She scoffed in disbelief, "What then are you trying to accomplish?"

"As I said it will be made clear in time," he said leaning calmly back in his chair.

"Perhaps I want to know now," she shot back.

"Then you're in for some disappointment," warned Ash.

Relena was about to retaliate with something, anything, which might gain her some more information about this whole mess. Yet it was at that moment that another man walked in from the basement steps, there was snow upon his shoulders, which contrasted greatly to the black material he was shrouded in. The new comer glanced to her for a brief moment, and even managed a small bow before he crossed the kitchen to when Ash was now standing. Relena studied them as they settled into a quiet conversation, wondering what it was that they were speaking about, but gaining nothing from watching she turned her attention to the kettle, which had come to a boil.

As she quietly rummaged through the cupboards for the necessities that she needed to make Derrick a cup of tea, Relena continued to strain with her hearing. Several words or partial comments came to her ears as their conversation continued; though they made little sense to her. "…Everywhere?" Ash questioned sounding sceptical.

"…No trace…" most of what the new comer said was lost, only helping to raise her curiosity.

"…He's done it before," apparently a question had been asked of Ash, though it felt to Relena that there had been more to his response than what she was able to catch. 

Relena carefully poured the hot water into a nice large mug, and adding the tea bag, began to stir it. "Do you want us to continue…?"

Gazing back through the corner of one eye Relena caught Ash shaking his head, "…he'll show…"

Moments later the man left the same way he had entered, and just as silently. Ash retook his seat, as though nothing had happened, and for the moment Relena was willing to leave it like that. Drawing the tea bag from the darkened water, she put it in the plastic bin for compost, all the while feeling Ash's eyes upon her. It took a lot of effort not to look back, but somehow she managed, while busying herself with cleaning up. Taking hold of the mug Relena crossed the opened tiled floor and walked back into the Den. She was glad to find Derrick where she had left him, Tom had come to stand nearby, but it did not appear that either would relax anytime soon.

She knelt at Anderson's side for a moment, pressing the steaming cup of tea into his hands. He offered her a weak smile, though his eyes were still hard; she returned his smile, they could glare as much as they wanted so long as nothing came of it. Relena rested her hands on his shoulder for a moment as she came to her feet. With no rush or even great interest Relena made her way back into the kitchen where surprisingly Ash still sat waiting. Her mind was busy turning over matters, she had not allowed herself to consider until all matters with her guards where taken care of. She walked back over to the counter without really realising it, and began to absently remove mugs.

"A penny for your thoughts, princess?" Ash inquired gently.

Relena gave a barely perceivable start, as she was brought out of her thoughts, she recovered well though. "You've lost one of your men?" she asked back while looking trough the cupboards for a certain canister, one she knew was empty. 

"You always listen in on private conversations?"

Half-turning Relena smiled sweetly, "I was gifted with the ears of a politician, we catch everything. You didn't answer my question though, have you lost one of you men?"

"No not really, he's not one of mine," his eyes travelled to the stairs as he spoke, as though he would considering further the conversation he had had only a few minutes before. "He comes and goes as he chooses, most likely won't be long before he shows."

"I see…" trailing off from what she was going to continue with, Relena pulled the hot chocolate canister down from the shelf, and opened it. Empty jar in hand she turned to face Ash, shaking her head ever so slightly, "I was going to make hot chocolate for us, but I'm not sure I have anymore."

Ash gave a start of surprise at this, clearly taken aback by her consideration, "That really isn't necessary…" he began.

"Oh it's not trouble," Relena countered good-naturedly, "I wonder if I have any extra in the pantry…" she mused aloud to herself, "Will you excuse me?"

"Of course," he responded courteously as she had known he would.

Careful to conceal the grin that was threatening to overtake her features, Relena calmly walked into the large pantry that had been built beside the kitchen. It had been designed to hold all the essential for a good for month stay. Shelves took up most of the opened space, lining all walls as well; there were also a number of large freezers and fridge's. Relena by passed all these without a glance, placing the empty container on the nearest shelf as she made her way to the back of the dimly lit room. 

It was back here that Duo had placed her escape route, though the pilots felt secure leaving her here on her own, they were not about to take any chances with her life. A well-concealed door was hidden in the furthest corner of the room, awaiting her entrance. With a quick glance over he shoulder, in fear that Ash might think to give her a hand, Relena took hold of the handle, and silently opened the threshold. Beyond the wooden slating, which covered all the other walls was a metal landing leading to a flight of stairs. She stepped in side the doorway, and quickly pulled the metal door closed, locking it solidly from the inside. 

The pilots had thought of everything, when designing this place, hanging on a peg was a thick winter coat, with a pair of knee high boots resting beneath. Relena dressed quickly, wanting to be as far away as she could, Duo had assured her that once the door was locked from this side it could not be opened. Still she would be a great deal more comfortable once she had put distance between herself and the 'Free Born', and put out word to the pilots that her life was in danger. 

Edging her way down the stairs as fast as she could Relena glanced back often, seeming not to be able to help herself. At the end of the stairs was a shadowed corridor, which led her away from the house, a safe distance before opening up to the ground level. Her heart was racing a mile a minute and adrenaline was fast flowing though her veins, making Relena want to run as fast as her legs would carry her. However she forced herself to keep the pace that she had set, racing would not get her to the destination any safer, she needed to continue thinking clearly if she wanted to survive this. Relena had to admit; that she did not really feel threatened while she had been in Ash's company, which was odd. It was as though he might actually have been telling the truth.

Running one hand through her hair several times, Relena looked back over her shoulder one more time to see that there was nothing behind her. She knew that by now they must have known that she had escaped; it was now that Relena knew she must hurry. Already at the end of the tunnel, Relena unlocked the door and forced it open. Even where the door had been concealed, had seen a good deal of snow, and she had to push with all her strength just to get it to move a few inches. It had been Wufei who chose the location for the exit, a rock outcropping sheltered the door, and the other side had been made to match. Redoubling her efforts, as if the men themselves were racing down the corridor after her Relena managed to open the door enough that she could slip though.

Once outside in the winter storm, she did not even consider wasting the time it would take to close the door. Instead she looked around at her surroundings, attempting to gain her bearings in the night with the snow falling like a heavy veil. The back of her mind, somewhat isolated from the fear and anxiety, which was controlling her at that moment, did register at the sheer beauty of the perfect winters night. With a sigh of relief Relena realised where it was that she needed to be and what direction to take, not hesitating for an instant she started off, as quickly as the deep snow would allow. 

Knowing that the cottage could at some time be a target, the pilots had not placed the emergence contact equipment inside the buildings four walls. Instead they had hidden it outside in the forest, knowing that Relena would be able to make it out of the house, where she would be far safer. The location that had been chosen, was that of an ancient tree, one who's base was almost completely hollow. She had thought it an excellent place to store the necessary items, somewhere remote, a place few would even consider looking in. Relena had been drilled over and over again on how to find it, in almost ever condition the weather could throw her way, or they could think up. The reality of the matter was however still different, but nothing she could not handle, and within ten minutes she had reached the very tree, that she and Duo had first come upon so many months ago.

A panel of wood covered in moss, and other small plant life that would be found, had been fashioned to cover most of the opening, so what the cavity hid inside would not be quite so obvious, it would also work to protect against weather. Coming to a stop, her breaths short and ragged, Relena dropped to her knees and dug at the snow, trying to find a grip on the wood beneath. A sound in the deep night froze her where she knelt. Ducking slightly as she looked first one way and then the other, Relena breathed a sigh of relief when she found nothing human anywhere around her, at least as far as her eyes could penetrate the storm, and if she could not see them they could not see her. That was the reasoning that she used to force her limbs to once more work.

Relena's glove covered fingers found grips on the edge of the wood and with a grunt she hauled it away from the tree. Sliding into the pitch black darkness Relena pulled the board back over top of the tree, knowing that with how fast the snow was still falling, any trace of her would soon be gone. Crouching in the blackness Relena slowly evened out her breathing, telling herself, over and over again that she had made it; she was safe. In the gloom behind her, Relena sense something's movement, and her heart skipped a beat nearly threatening to stop. As a pair of hands reached out to grab her, Relena screamed. 

^_^ I thought I'd treat you all to something special. A preview to the next chapter!!!

****

The End of a Dream:

~_This is the missing man_~ Relena thought, terror still causing her heart to race; ~_But how had he known about the tree?_~ her mind was not working clear enough to even try and decipher the mystery. Breathing in what was supposed to be a calming breath, Relena caught a scent, which did nothing to ease her racing heart. She knew the scent, had smelled it dozens of times before, it was raw untamed, not something that could be recreated by colognes. It was Heero Yuy. 

Hope you've enjoyed so far ^_^ and thanks for reading!

Morganeth Taren'drel 


	4. The End of a Dream

****

Mistaken Words

AN: Thank you everyone for reading this fic ^_^ Can't tell you how glad I am people are enjoying it. I've been working on this fic for at least two years, it's great to see if finally up on the net. I've been trying to post every week, and I have quite a few chapters waiting, so hopefully *keeping fingers crossed* I'll be able to stay on top of this one ^_^

Thanks again to Pious Knight for editing this story for me ^_^ wouldn't be here without you! And to neekabe for you're continued suggestions! ^_^

Oh and if you'd like an email updating you on when another chapter is posted please let me know. I'm not sure Fanfiction.net likes me all that much, since I don't think my story made it to the front pages with the last post I made.

Disclaimer: don't own 

** **

The End of a Dream

The screamed died in her throat as a gloved hand closed over her mouth, and the other arm pulled her tightly against a strong chest. She struggled franticly in the dark azure eyes rolling around in pure terror. The grip that held her was like iron, nothing at all seemed to give, her body shrieked at her to continue the struggle, while her mind spoke more sensibly fighting would only drain her strength something she would definitely need for later. Slowly Relena managed to bring her body under her control bit by bit. Her assailant did nothing during this time, but hold her firmly to him, had it not been for the arms, she might have thought she were imagining the whole things. 

~_This is the missing man_- Relena thought, terror still causing her heart to race; -_But how had he known about the tree?_~ her mind was not working clear enough to even try and decipher the mystery. Breathing in what was supposed to be a calming breath, Relena caught a scent, which did nothing to ease her racing heart. She knew the scent, had smelled it dozens of times before, it was raw untamed, not something that could be recreated by colognes. It was Heero Yuy. 

The realisation of this, sent waves of shock coursing through her veins, and Relena secede to breath, her mind threatened to shut down, and she fought to stay in control. The hand that had been clamped over her mouth withdrew, giving her access to the fresh air, yet for a few scarce seconds; her lungs remained empty, as her eyes focused upon nothing. Heero Yuy, the man she would have given her life to protect, had loved with every ounce of her being, was there, with her, and a part of the Free Born. Her world shattered at that very thought, as three years of hoping came crashing down about her, it was not a dream, and it could never be considered so again. 

Heero Yuy was indeed the man, who tried to assassinate her. Relena felt like screaming in defiance of the whole world, and at the same time breaking down in defeat. This was not the way it was supposed to happen, there could be no fairy tale ending now. Reality had taken over, and no matter how she wanted to, she could not just throw it aside. There was nothing else that could be done, but to accept it. 

The grip that Heero had around her waist loosened, when the fight had left her body, and slowly he pulled it away, moving back from her. Relena leaned forward for a minute, drawing in deep breaths, which shuddered on the verge of sobs, yet somehow she managed to keep in control. One hand worked its way along the ground through the dark, searching for the flashlight that had been left in easy reach. Once her fingers made contact, Relena pulled the object back to her, and gradually turned to face the man she had once shared so much with. To her cerulean eyes, he was nothing more than a darker shadow, but she intended to see differently, Relena wanted to see him as he was now, so she could stop remembering what he had been.

Switching on the light she aimed it at him, causing his prussian eyes to squint. Relena's breath caught in the back of her throat, at the sight of him. He had not grown all that much since she last lay eyes upon him, and was only perhaps an inch taller than herself, though he had filled out a good deal, appearing amazingly strong, just kneeling there. She could not pull her eyes away from his, as they adjusted to the light and opened more fully. All Relena could notice was how cold and lifeless they were now; more so than they had been during the war. It tore at her heart to look at him, no matter how cold he was or could become; she would always remember what he had been, and the pain that he had caused. Two tears slid down her face as she continued to study him, it hurt so much.

She wondered at how he could have known about the cottage. Relena was positive that it had been Heero to lead the Free Born there. He was the only one who could have known, but how? There had been no records of the building production; the pilots had done everything themselves. Had Heero been there the whole time, had he watched everything? Did he know of their games of hide and seek, which they had ended up playing so often? Relena of course had no answers to these question, probably never would. She could not help speculating, what it was that Heero had sacrificed to become so good, that even the other pilots no longer sensed his presence.

For a long time the merely stared at one another, the tracks of liquid that her tears had caused evaporated, and with them any hope of awakening from this nightmare. He said nothing to her in those moments, and did not even really appear to be looking at her. A tiny portion of Relena actually wanted him to say something anything, but no words left his mouth. He shouldered his assault rifle in a less than subtle gesture, and motioned mutely for her to go back the way she had come. Her light blue eyes fell upon the radio that was her only link to the pilots, if only she could get them a quick message, but that was impossible now. With a sigh of frustration Relena did as her silent captor instructed, forcing the snow-covered board out of the way, and climbing back out into the night.

The forest that enclosed them was not nearly so silent as it had been when she first escaped the cottage, she could see flashes of light through the fog of snow, and men shouted back and forth to one another. Heero coming up behind her without a sound took hold of her arm with a tight grip, and began walking back towards the cottage. There was not a hint of hesitation in his steps, he knew his way as though he had lived her his entire life. Relena remained silent; knowing in her heart that conversation on her part would go nowhere, Heero's clear intention was to deliver her back to Ash. She wondered about that, why would he return her to the man, when three years ago he had wanted her dead? What had changer him during that time? 

Soon the voiced, which moments before had been distant, sounded as though they were right on top of her. A soldier, wielding his gun as though it were an extenuation of his body, came into sight then, skidding to a halt when he saw who was with the runaway princess. "Ash, we've found her…" Relena recognised the voice as that of the man who came to speak with Ash in the kitchen.

"Good bring her back to the house," Ash's voice crackled over the radio.

"He's with her…"

Relena caught the sound of what might have been laughter on Ash's end, "Even better." 

The soldier motioned for them to go before him, but Heero did not move, his grip upon her arm tightened; and Relena could feel the air about them cool, as the traitor levelled an icy glare at the other man. For several moments she was terrified that the stand-off would come to blows, the soldier did not seem to trust Heero in the least, and the former pilot was not about to relinquish and power that he had. Finally Ash's man turned and walked off into the woods, shoulders set firmly, he was not pleased. This seemed odd to Relena, were they not working on the same side? Should they have not been allies? Ash did not seem to have any problems with the Japanese man; perhaps it was because Ash had some form of respect for Heero. She could not of course say with any certainty, there were simply to many unknowns in this matter.

Heero moved forward once more, pushing her none too gently as he did. She resisted the urge to look over to his face, knowing that it would only cause her more pain, something she had more than enough of. Instead she walked as though she were on her own, nevertheless that was difficult since the snow threatened to trip her at every turn, especially with the pace that he had set. Relena noticed though the corner of one eye that Heero was having no such trouble with his movements. It did not take them long to reach the fair sized cottage, shielded as if it were the only building in the world. 

It was not long before Relena once more found herself within the confines of her home, now prison. She had half expected Ash to be there waiting, but the foyer was empty. As Relena slowly removed her coat and carefully hung it on the wall, she glanced up the stairs, and shuddered, as she saw the silhouettes of men bearing arms. This was no dream. The man that had lead them, moved down the flight of stairs, which led to the basement without a word, leaving her alone in Heero's presence. Turning from the closet Relena shook out her wet hair, and came face to face with Heero's dark features. She flinched at the sight of him, she had known he was there, only had not expected him to be that close. 

There were no words, just a small gesture with his weapon for her to move forward. Relena tore her eyes away from his, and moved up the stairs, entering the empty kitchen. Sounds of the fire crackling from living room drifted in, along with quiet conversations. They moved on through, to the den, where both Anderson and Ryan jumped to their feet at the sight of her. She smiled reassuringly for them, yet it did little good, when they saw who was following her. As Heero stepped around the corner, there was no moment of surprise, only pure hatred for the man they had once trusted. Anderson looked as though he would attack, had it not been for the numerous weapons aimed at his heart. 

"You bastard!!" growled Derrick, as he seethed in rage.

Relena could feel the situation sliding fast down a cliff, which would cost at least two men their lives. She stepped forward quickly, trying to draw their attention to her, "Remember your promise!" They did not seem to hear her, "Tom, Derrick!" forcefully she called their names, this time they did looked to her, and she did not miss the fire that burned in the backs of their eyes. "You promised, no violence."

Seeing her worried face, took some effect on their raging emotions, and their eyes dropped, but Relena could still tell that this was far from ended. One of the guards came forward then, and spoke briefly with Heero; she watched the man's expression, not noting any outward signs of hatred. So Heero was not despised by all. Her stay in the living room was not long, as Heero quickly began walking towards the opposite end, with Relena out in front. She just barely caught the seething looks both guards directed his way, but there was nothing the men could or would do, at least not yet, so she put it from her mind. 

They moved up the stairs together in silence, Relena felt a burn in between her shoulder blades; she did not know if is was caused by Heero's eyes or the fact that a attempted assassin was following behind her, armed. Either way she forced that too from her mind, Relena knew she could not afford distractions. The hall upstairs was shadow filled none of the lights turned on, it was not however pitch black; as faint light from one of the sitting rooms spilled out of the half opened doorway. It was to this door that Heero moved her. He still had said nothing to her, or gave any indication that he really saw her, for all his reactions she might have been just any woman he passed. For some reason that tore through her light a knife. Furthermore his presence around her felt more ethereal than real, it was then that she realised why, and how he had slipped the pilots notice; he had sold his soul.

With nowhere to go but forward Relena walked before him, sock feet making not a sound on the polished wood floors. Crossing the threshold of her sitting room, Relena was not at all surprised to find Ash sitting back, looking as relaxed as ever. She noticed that he did not appear to be in the least bit displeased with her, there was even a tiny smile upon his face as they walked in. "Ah princes glad to have you back with us, I had not realised that my company would be so displeasing to you that you would actually try and escape." The worst of it was he actually sounded serious.

Relena returned his smile with one of her own, though hers was a great deal more condescending, and took a seat in the room. Ash turned his attention to Heero who stood by the door, "Where had you been?"

"Covering your mistake," he said in icy tones. His voice sent a shiver down her spine, she had not thought his words could be more devoid of life.

Ash's head came up; "You knew about the escape rout didn't you?" it was less a question and more an accusation. "Why didn't you say anything?"

His broad shoulders lifted in a disinterested shrug, "You never asked."

"Well is there anything else you'd care to add now?" The look Heero directed at the man was death, yet it did not seem to have any effect on Ash; as though he had seen this look more than once before. A few moments passed before the man turned his attention to Relena who had sat silently through it all. "I promised you that we would not harm you."

She nodded, "And I believe you," it was an effort, but she managed to keep from glancing at Heero, yet she found it disconcerting that he could be in the same room and she could not sense his presence.

The simple man leaned forward, "Then why the sudden flight?"

"I might have trust in your promises, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to willingly allow you to take me hostage for some purpose unknown to me." She delivered the words with all the calm and dignity expected in someone of her rank. 

"You gave your word princes," he continued voice smooth.

Relena scoffed at that, "No," she shook her head, "I never did, I only got Derrick and Tom to." 

Ash thought back for a moment, "So true," he whispered. "Well I hope there will be no more of this, we may be here for a while and I can't be having you running off ever time I turn around. I don't want to confine you, but if I have to I will."

"I understand," she breathed, internally marvelling at Ash's nature, such an unexpected breath of fresh air, to the normal type of men who would want her taken hostage.

He gave her a bright smile, as he stood; his long strides brought him to the door in four steps, "Jake!" he called down the hall to the den. "Unfortunately after this little escapade I can't afford to leave you alone," he said turning back to face her. Second later a plain looking man walked in eyes immediately locking on Ash, whose eyes were still on Relena. "Princes, this gentlemen will be your escort until we can leave. I assure you he is honourable, and will respect your privacy as much as he can give to you." He motioned for her to come over, seeing that she had no other choice she did, "Now if you'll excuse us I need to speak with Heero alone." She nodded mutely, and with a glance at her new bodyguard Relena left the room.

***

Ash stood for a moment in the doorway, silently watching the young woman walk down the hall, back towards the living room. His mind turning over, all that had just happened; he had not expected the princess to be so well equipped. Though he supposed he should have known that there would be some escape, after all Relena was one of the most important people in the world, which put her safety above everything else. Ash found her intriguing, nothing seemed to frighten her, and somehow she always managed to retain some form of control over a situation. He could see now why Dante respected her so much.

With a shake of his head Ash brought himself out of his thoughts and silently closed the door. Though the corner of one eyes he scrutinised Heero, who had not moved an inch since he came into the room. Ash found it unnerving how still he could be; there were times when he was not even aware that Heero had entered a room. In no great rush Ash made his way back across the small room to the seat he had previously occupied. The silence in the room continued as Ash continued to consider the younger man, who seemed not even to acknowledge his presence. 

He had known Heero for four years, during that time he had come to know no more about the Japanese man, than that he had fought in the war, and was once Relena's bodyguard.   
Until that is, he attempted to assassinate her. On that subject Heero was more closed mouth than on any other, Ash had tried to discover his reasons for her death, yet all he was met with were death glares and utter silence. It was disturbing that someone so young could be so good, so cold; it was almost as if he was not human. Ash often wondered what could have caused Heero to abandon his humanity, or was it stolen from him? Questions floated about the young man, just like silence.

"Dante wants her delivered unharmed…" Ash began breaking the void of silence, which had filled the room.

"What are you getting at?" Heero cut in, voice harsh yet still managing to be lacking in emotion.

Ash put up both hands in a calming gesture; "Nothing just restating the facts, besides the way you look right now I have no idea what your planing next" somehow he had crossed a line, one that he could not see, nor did he know the consequences. "Not that I ever really do," he added more to himself.

"I know my mission!" the cold man turned as if he intended on leaving the room.

"Heero, why didn't you tell me about the escape?" he asked again, halting Heero in his tracks, "And I know it has nothing to do with my not asking, you gave more than enough information on this place without prompting, so why not this?"

Heero moved back to where he had been standing, Ash had long ago become accustom to the younger man's unfeeling eyes, but even he had to shudder at what he found in them today. They were dead, there was no other way to describe them, had Heero not been breathing Ash would have thought him a walking corpse for the amount of life found in those prussian orbs. "I had my reasons."

"What were they?" Ash was quick to ask back truly curious.

Without a word, Heero turned to leave moving for the first time since he had stopped in the room. There was a great tension in his shoulder, something that Ash was able to pick up, but would probably be missed by others; it was not very noticeable. He knew that he had struck something deep within the fighters, but he had no idea what, and knew there was not likely to find out. Heero was not one to share his emotions with other or anything for that matter. "Hey" Ash called to the retreating figure, "How's your hand?"

"What?" Heero stopped, half turning to look back at Ash.

"Your hand, the one you used to slow your fall…" he gestured to the damaged glove, with one hand.

Heero drew the appendage in question up in front of him, slowly drawing the glove off his fingers, revealing angry red burns on both his palm and fingers. "It's fine," he growled pulling the scared material back over his hand.

Ash came to his feet, chair-scraping back on the wood floors; "Can I see it?" the question was delivered with some concern, which only gained him a silent glare.

"Don't worry about it," he grated.

"Alright," Ash agreed as he walked passed, "Just do yourself a favour, put something on that before it gets infected." He did not wait for a response, not expecting one, and simply opened the door and walked out, leaving Heero to his own thoughts. This would not be an easy time, he had no idea how long they would be trapped in the cottage, and Heero was by no means in a mood to be caught in closed quarters with anyone. 

His thick boots slammed against the floors echoing down the hall in both directions, unlike Heero Ash did not feel the need to be stealthy at all times. He did not like surprising people when it was not necessary. Ash did not think Heero took some perverse joy out of watching people jump out of their skin, only he did not consider moving in any other way than dead silence. Walking out into the den Ash scanned over the men sitting and standing about the room. He was happy to note that Relena's bodyguards had kept their word, and were still calmly waiting for the situation to change. Ideally Ash wanted to get in and out of this mission without any bloodshed, there was no reason for violence.

As he entered the room Relena came to her feet, from where she had been kneeling before her guards, speaking in quiet tones. The wood in the fireplace sparked and popped as she walked across to stand in front of him. "There are five bedrooms besides mine," she said almost as if she were offering them to him, "I hope you don't intend to stay out here the whole time."

"I thank you," he smiled bowing forward slightly, this earned him a diminutive frown, Relena did not seem to appreciate his polite behaviour. "My men and I are used to sleeping in all kinds of conditions but a bed it always preferred."

She smiled, and he marvelled at its beauty, wondering what fault Heero could have found in her that could only be solved with the taking of her life. "Goodnight then," Relena walked past regally, Jake following three steps behind, he nodded as he passed Ash though his eyes never left the princess.

Ash turned back towards his men, ears listening to Relena's footsteps above, they were light, and graceful, barely perceivable through the thick wood. "Kyle, Toby," he called softly bring his full attention to the room he was standing in, "I want you to take Relena's guards upstairs, let them rest, someone will come in to relieve you during the night." Both men nodded in acceptance of his orders and without words got their charges moving. For their part Derrick and Tom moved without complaint though their eyes said more than enough. Ash kept his fingers crossed that these men would not feel the need to prove their loyalty to Relena, in an act that could very well cost them their lives.

Taking a few steps deeper into the room, Ash reached down lifting into his hands the assault rifle that he had left there more than an hour ago. He did not like the weapon, though he could see it's uses, what he hated most was the idea that he held something in his hands that could take the lives of hundreds without so much as a second thought, if he were so inclined. No he did not like weaponry of this sort, but he had realised long ago that in certain situations, these means were necessary to bring about the changes that you sought. Ash turned his gaze away from the mat black metal, "Alright I want two shifts formed…"

***

Relena made her way slowly down the upper halls of her home, she was not really sure where it was that she was heading, but all the while she was aware of the man following a few steps back. Turning her head just enough to catch the man's movements in her peripheral vision Relena considered him. She did not like the idea of an unknown man trailing her silently; he had done nothing to disprove the assurances that Ash had given to her, yet it was disconcerting. Her thoughts continued to wander as she walked, it was not likely that anything would change with the men holding her hostage for several days. The snow was still falling heavily, and in the mountains it was hard to say how long a storm could last. They would not be able to leave until it cleared.

That gave her time, unfortunately there was nothing that she could do with that gift. The escape that she had used before, was not the only one, the Gundam pilots would not have trusted her safety to only one secret exit. However with the guard trailing her footsteps Relena knew she could have no chance of achieving the desired end. Not to mention the fact that Heero was there, he had known of the first secret, there was nothing saying he did not know of others. A shudder ran down Relena's spine at the thought of the former pilot. In a way she was still in shock from their first meeting, so many distant fears had been realised, and hopes crushed, that she could not yet bring herself to acknowledge it. 

The sensible side of Relena urged her to accept what had happened and move on, there was no changing the past, she could only face the future. That was a large step to take, to place aside three years of dreams, half of them never even recognised, yet Relena knew it was something that she would have to do sometime. A soft noise down the hall caught her ear and she looked up away from the dismal thoughts, which had consumed her. Glancing back at her 'shadow' Relena strode forward, in the direction of the sound. The soft lights of the halls had been turned on casting tiny shadows here and there, as the gentle glow admitted its inability to penetrate solid objects.

Relena came to a stop outside the bathroom door which had been closed most of the way. Curiosity too her, as she reached out with one small hand to push the wooden door open further, to reveal, who stood on the other side. To Relena surprise the pale light fell upon Heero, as he rummaged through the drawers and cupboards in search of something. For a time Relena simply stood there watching him, fully knowing that he was aware of her presence, he merely chose to ignore it. Her left hand moved without thought and switched the lights on, causing Heero to stop his search for a brief moment that he used to glance in her direction.

"What are you looking for?" she could not keep the ice from her voice as she spoke to him, one hand moving to her slender hips.

He did not look at her long before he returned to his hunt, eyes nothing more than prussian orbs, no life, feeling, or direction could be glimpsed from their icy depths. Frustration gripped Relena as she studied him, he acted as though she were not standing there, the woman he had attempted to kill. She felt that for that she at least deserved some form of explanation, yet that did not seem likely to happen. "If you tell me what it is you want I can tell you where it is," she grated with a sigh.

Yet whatever it was Heero was searching for, he found, pulling a medium sized bundle out of the back of one cupboard, he gripped it tightly in his hand, as he turned back to the door. Relena did not miss the way his eyes treated her as though she was not even there; they seemed to see around or through her. His lean features were dangerous as he moved to walk past her, almost seeming to dare her to stand in his way. She wisely stepped aside, "Why won't you speak to me?!" Relena demanded as she moved aside to let him pass unhindered, there was simply no way she was willing to stop him.

Out through the corner of one eye Heero regarded her, "Why should I?" he did not wait for a response but walked past carrying the first aid kit in his hand.

Relena scrutinised his back as he disappeared down the hall, her feelings a jumble within her. She wanted answers so badly, and yet was too terrified to find them, ~_Would it not be simpler to just face facts and move on?_~ Relena asked herself, and her anger rose the more that she considered the present situation. A lone tear trailed down her angelic features, and she scrubbed at it harshly, her determination settling into a cold fire. No more would she weep over that man.

Thanks again to everyone who's read this story ^_^

Here again is another preview

** **

Nowhere To Run:

Cursing in his native tongue Heero raked one hand through his unruly hair. Ash had no doubts that the younger man was aware of his proximity, yet Heero could do a magnificent job ignoring someone. Only a true fool would take this behavior as a sign of distraction, Ash was not aware that anything could distract such an intense man from his goal. The inevitable outcome of this 'mission' was Heero finding what he sought, moments later the young man pulled a bottle of whiskey from off the shelf. He drew the full bottle before his eyes, inspecting it, turning it over slowly in his hands. He was considering, he always did.


	5. Nowhere to Run

****

Mistaken Words

AN: Thanks again to all who have read, and reviewed ^_^ (you all make my heart smile!!)

Sanae: Thanks for the compliments ^_^ I'd like to be able to tell you it's going to get happy soon…but I'm afraid you'll have to wait a little while. I do promise it has a happy ending ^_^

Morrighan of Crimson and Sable: ^_^ yep! I'd say he has a good reason, and you'll find that out in the next chapter "The Truth of Lies"

If anyone would like and email to let you know when I've updated, just let me know in you're review ^_^ sometimes Fanfiction.net doesn't really like me…not sure why, I'm always nice to it ^_~

Disclaimer: own?….not last I checked 

****

Nowhere to Run

The snowfall outside had lightened considerably on the third day, and it was Ash's hope that the pilot would soon contact them; so he could complete his mission. The last two days had been nothing short of nerve racking, thankfully nothing had happened; nevertheless Relena's guards always gave the impression that they were planing something. He leaned back in his chair a little deeper, enjoying the warmth that the fire before him was emitting. It was early evening on the third day that Ash found himself sitting alone in the den eyes watching the fire dance hypnotically. 

Even alone as he was Ash could feel the tension that filled the very air, he had tired to keep the atmosphere light, but that had proved a greater challenge than he could face. For the most part the aggression came from the guards that Relena had with her, their animosity was not even really directed at Ash and his men, more it was turned like a knife on Heero. Ash stretched his legs lazily, glancing at the clock to see that it was four thirty, if they left now they could be at the spaceport by nine, and on the colony by nine the next morning. Dante would be satisfied with that, it had been known coming in on this mission that the time line for extraction would have to be left loose, as there was really no predicting the weather at this time of year.

Ash jumped, hazel eyes locking on Heero as he entered the room, there had not been anything to announce his presence, just his appearance, and that was like death. He said nothing; never did unless that is; there was no way out of it. Ash had never witnessed Heero quite so distant before, for the most part no one even saw him, they had no idea where it was that he went but he went there a lot. It had become clear if only to Ash that the brooding man was avoiding Relena, they were never in the same room together for longer than it took Heero to leave. He nodded to the Japanese man, earning himself a glare in response, before Heero crossed the room to the kitchen. 

Turning his attention back to the flames, Ash continued to consider the attempted assassin. To his knowledge Heero had not slept since they had arrived, nor eaten anything more than a few bites. Something was eating at the young man, and Ash would have been a fool not to realize that it came back to Relena. There was such a cold anger in his eyes when he looked at the small woman, so icy was the stare that Ash actually feared a few times that Heero would complete his mission from three years ago. He would have liked to know what it was that Heero hated so much about the pacifist, yet those were answers he doubted would ever be given. 

The sound of cupboard door slamming echoed through the almost silent home, bringing Ash completely back to the present. His head had whipped about at the noise, and he looked though the archway, seeing Heero move off to another cabinet. ~_What's he looking for?_~ Ash wondered quietly to himself. It was not until he was on his feet, and making his way towards the kitchen that he realized what it might be, and he moved quickly to put a stop to it. Passing across the threshold, Ash leaned calmly back against the wall, as he studied Heero's increasingly agitated movements, there was no doubt now what he was searching for. The bandages which bound his right hand, did not hinder him in the least, Heero most likely would have ignored the seemingly unimportant injury, had Ash not pushed the issue. Heero had never really been one to worry overly about his health; he was breathing; that was good enough for him.

Cursing in his native tongue Heero raked one hand through his unruly hair. Ash had no doubts that the younger man was aware of his proximity, yet Heero could do a magnificent job ignoring someone. Only a true fool would take this behavior as a sign of distraction, Ash was not aware that anything could distract such an intense man from his goal. The inevitable outcome of this 'mission' was Heero finding what he sought, moments later the young man pulled a bottle of whiskey from off the shelf. He drew the full bottle before his eyes, inspecting it, turning it over slowly in his hands. He was considering, he always did.

"No Heero," Ash warned breaking the silence finally. Heero's head turned to regard him, his expression almost demanding ~_who are you to give me orders?_~ but his hand did not release the carafe of alcohol. "Not here, you haven't slept in days or eaten," he tried to reason with the younger man, though it did not seem to get to him. Ash pushed himself off the wall taking a step towards Heero, "Not that I've seen at least," he raised an eyebrow as he considered Heero, "Care to explain?" 

The Japanese man glared through the corner of one eye; "It doesn't matter."

"It's bound to effect your performance sometime, we can't afford any mistakes right now," Ash countered, turning one of the chairs around so his could straddle it, hazel orbs never leaving his friend's form. "Where do you keep disappearing to?" he inquired softly, not missing the tautness of Heero's stance.

"I patrol," Heero said turning away, and walking to the counter he rested the glass bottle on its surface.

Ash blinked at that, "You really think that's necessary?"

"You'd be a fool not to," growled the other as he faced Ash once more, hopping up onto the counter. "They're not naïve enough as to think her safe out here, not completely at least," though his eyes still showed nothing close to life, his voice was no longer quite so dead.

"Are you really concerned?" Ash questioned cocking his head to one side, "Or are you avoiding someone?"

Heero gave a silent 'ha!' his shoulders lifting slightly in response. His gaze shifted completely to Ash, it was a heavy stare, one few could withstand for long, "Just what are you implying?" Ash shrugged mutely eyes remaining on Heero's face, "I thought you were concerned I'd try to kill her again." 

"I just didn't expect you to disappear this much," he commented scratching lightly at the dark shadow forming on his jaw. Heero too had the beginnings of a beard forming, somehow it made him appear more dangerous, and Ash was pretty sure he knew why. The thick stubble added years to his life, the first impression that Heero gave always made one think he was in his late twenties or early thirties, yet now he almost looked it. He looked untamed, ~_was untamed_~ Ash corrected himself silently. 

"It's the guards."

Ash gave a start at that, "Huh, I wouldn't have thought their accusations would bother you."

"They don't," he coldly replied, "Their presence does."

"You think Dante's taking unnecessary risks keeping them alive?" It was not really a question. "We're not a violent group Heero, you know that. The last thing we want is blood to spill from this," The younger man's features were unreadable giving no clear indication as to what he was thinking. 

"Hn…" Heero turned his attention away, "Whatever 'we' are doesn't matter, this mission has taken too long."

For the thousandth time since meeting the mysterious man, Ash wished he could read minds, there was simply no telling what half Heero's statements meant. He knew it was never the obvious, yet he usually took it as that, since there was nothing else he could do, "I'll agree with you there." Ash stood, and walked over to the window above the sinks, outside the sun had set, and for the first time the stars could be seen clearly. "I think it ends tonight," he assured his agitated friend.

Silence was his only response, though he had not really expected anything to be said. Slowly his head turned, just enough that he could see Heero where he sat beside him, the younger man's eyes were focused on something hidden to Ash's eyes, yet he still knew what it was. "I don't know why you feel you need that," he began eyes returning to the night sky, "But it's not worth it right now."

His peripherals caught Heero's subtle movements as he diverted his attention to Ash, "Leave the decision to me," he grated in low tones. 

Ash barked a laugh, "I don't think so Heero, we could be leaving at any time, I want your head clear." He did not bother to look at the other man, knowing full well that entering into a staring match with Heero Yuy was pointless, the man backed down from nothing. Thankfully though he was still reasonable, and could see—at times—the merit of taking someone else's well phrased advice. 

Heero pushed himself off the counter without a sound, and walked from the room most likely vanishing to wherever it was that he went. Ash stretched out the fingers of his left hand towards the small light switch just under the cabinet that flanked the window. Shutting off the lighting in the kitchen he gave his full attention over to the midnight black sky. He had heard it often described as velvet blanket draped over the world. The thought made him laugh, that was the perspective of someone who had lived their whole life on earth's surface. However to someone born among the stars, it appeared entirely different. 

To Ash's eyes there was depth, a limitless, unattainable distances. It was not one dimensional to his sight nor two or three, it was a dimension all its own, something beyond the full comprehension of the human mind. Humans lived within a world of limits and restriction, there was none of that within the sky, and there for it stood beyond, completely separate and yet still and integral part of their lives. Thousands had spent their lives studying it, and exploring but they still had not even brushed the surface, and to Ash's way of thinking they never would. It was not theirs to know. 

He was forced to tear his eyes from the star dusted sky as the small radio at his hip sounded off its warning of an incoming transmission. Spinning away from the window Ash slipped the light headset into place, and flipped the view screen down over his right eye. "Ash here," he called opening the link. 

On the screen Logan appeared, scarred face as always completely serious, no matter the situation. "Sir, I take it the mission was a success?" his voice spoke directly into Ash's ear.

"Yah, we have the princess," he let a smile touch his face as he leaned back against the counter crossing his arms. "She actually managed to give us the slip for about an hour," Ash admitted with and easy laugh.

That caught Logan by surprise, "Where could she have gone?"

"Apparently whoever built this place had escape in mind, had it not been for Heero, she might actually have evaded us." 

"I'm glad to hear that's not the case," Logan said running a hand across his brow, "So other than that it's been quiet?"

Ash straightened up, and walked from the kitchen as he answered, "No one's tired anything, her guards are well trained, and thankfully very loyal." He strode out into the living room only to find two of his men lounging on the couch conversing quietly. "Start getting everything ready," he directed them without taking his concentration from Logan, "I take it you're on your way?"

"Yes sir," All three men replied, one an echo of the other two.

"Took you long enough," Ash said his voice remaining good-natured.

The man let a ghost of a smile touch his features, "Sorry sir, that was one hell of a storm you flew us into. I almost didn't make it back out, the winds were so bad in the passes I was sure I'd be thrown into the mountain face."

He laughed, "Not you, you're the best pilot we have," slowly Ash made his way up the stairs in search of Relena.

"Dante was concerned for a while there," Logan continued 

"Oh? What, has he no faith in us?"

"I don't think it's that sir, he was afraid the radio silence had been brought on by something other than the weather, and I have to admit for a while I agreed" he concluded face a mask.

Ash halted at the top of the stairs; "You haven't tried to make contact and fail? Have you?"

"No sir I had no way of really knowing if the storm had cleared enough for a transmission, you were supposed to contact me."

"Right…" Ash mused, smiling as he continued on his way, "I was a bit preoccupied there for a time, as it is the storm only cleared through just a little over an hour ago."

Logan nodded his head; hands moving on the controls of the helicopter, as he navigated his way through the mountain passes. "I'll be reaching you in about fifteen minutes, be ready for extraction then."

"Right," Ash flipped the screen up but left the head set on, in case something happen. Once his attention was focused on finding Relena it did not take him that long to locate her. He did make a quick stop at the room where her guards were being held before continuing on his way, "Get them ready, our ride will be here in fifteen."

As he continued down the hall, he wondered what sort of reaction he would be faced with, when telling Relena. So far the princess had taken all matters considerably well, yet he could tell she was not nearly so calm as she wanted him to think. There again she was not exactly afraid either, she was smart enough to know, only a cool head would gain her anything. Ash could not help respecting her, he wanted to be able to reassure her more, yet his orders had been clear Dante would be the one to relay everything. 

Shrugging his shoulders with a shake of his head Ash continued down the hall, nodding in recognition of his men that he passed, and directing them down to the living room. Once outside Relena's room he knocked softly waiting for her call to enter. It did not come however, and he was about the rap upon the hard wood again, when the door swung opened. Relena looked up at him a lofty air about her, as there always seemed to be when she was facing him. "Yes? What is it?"

He smiled, "We're leaving, take your things if you feel you need them." Ash decided simple and to the point would most likely work better with the princes than beating around the bush.

"I doubt you'll tell me were it is we are going?" she questioned walking back into her room, to pack what she felt she might need.

"Certainly," Ash responded instantly, causing Relena to halt, spinning around to face him. "The Nuremberg space port."

Her pretty face darkened slightly, "I meant after that."

"I'm sorry but that is need to know only," his smile he felt was truly apologetic but it only seemed to cause her to glare more. 

She crossed her slender arms beneath her breasts, "And my men? What of them?"

"They will be accompanying us, I assure you they will be given the best care, and as many liberties as we can give, provided they behave." Ash leaned his solid frame against the door jam crossing his own arms in a similar fashion, "You're men are very loyal to you, and it's no wonder why…"

Relena stared at him in silence as though she were attempting to read the message hidden behind his words. There was none of course; Ash was not a man to make flowery speeches that meant something entirely different that what he has actually said. With a sigh and tiny shake of her head, Relena turned back around busying herself about the room. "You have fifteen minutes to be outside ready to go," that last was directed more to Jake than the princess, as he pushed himself off the door, and left the room.

Two steps brought him outside the room he had been occupying, along with three others, and walking in Ash was not at all surprised to find them packed and gone. Word traveled fast, not only that, but not a one among them was going to risk delaying this mission; not when something could still go terribly wrong. Ash shrugged into his thick protective jacket, he did not like the body armor, it restricted movement too much, nevertheless he wore it when heading into a hostile situation. Dislikes aside, Ash was more than capable of seeing the value in such equipment.

Heero on the other hand was a different matter entirely. He all but refused such measures; it had taken a great effort on Ash's part to get him into the protective gear for this mission. In the end it was more the cold than threat of bullets which convinced the silent man. At the thought of the Japanese man, Ash was reminded of their conversation, and questions filled his mind, all begging for answers, none receiving them. With many months of contemplating the young man, behind him, Ash knew that thinking much on him did nothing. Heero simply hid everything to well, which brought Ash back to the very first of all the questions, why? If only that could be answered everything else would likely fall into place, but the 'why' of it all, was locked carefully away in Heero's head, a place he shared with no one.

Grabbing hold of his assault rifle, Ash turned from the otherwise untouched room, and made his way back down the hall. "Kyle" he called suddenly as the man walked from one of the others rooms, "Are all the rooms cleaned?" 

"All except the one you were using and the princess'" he replied carefully pulling the room's door closed.

"I don't think you'll have to worry about prints in hers, Jake knows what he's doing."

"Right, I'll be finished in a minute then," Kyle made to walk past but halted only an inch from Ash, "Are we taking them the whole way?" there was no question as to who 'they' were. 

Ash nodded, "There isn't really any other option, leave them anywhere and you risk word making it back to the government."

The other man's green eyes flicked down the hall briefly, "I was hoping they would think her safe enough to send up alone."

"Ha! No chance of that," Ash barked, "This won't be a problem, Dante and I had it planned from the beginning with them in mind, nothing is going to change, just do your part, and we'll all make it out of here in one piece."

"They aren't going to go quietly."

"No, but we've kept that in mind as well," he patted the other man lightly on the shoulder, "I'll see you outside in ten." Hefting his rifle a little higher on his shoulder Ash continued the short journey back to the living room where his men had assembled, with Relena's guards in their midst. He noted without much surprise that Heero was not among them, the Japanese man would appear before they left, without being formally told he most likely already knew they were leaving. 

The room held an almost oppressive silence despite the fact that more than just two of the men were holding quiet conversations. It did not take Relena's guards long to focus all their anger on him, once he had entered the room, but he simply let it wash right off of him. With a brief glance at his men, Ash crossed the room to make his way outside. He wanted to see if Heero was around, just to make sure that he had not taken to the drink that he had been considering before. 

Though the snow had ceased to fall, the air was no less brisk; a cold winter breeze some how made it's away into the secluded glen. Brushing the new fallen snow from evergreen branches to dance about like a wedding veil. Ash gasped softly as the icy fingers of the zephyr caressed his face, attempting to find a way down the collar of his coat. The initial shock passed quickly, allowing him to leave behind the inconvenience of the cold, and focus upon his mission. Even knowing Heero as his did, it took Ash several minutes to spot his elusive friend. The dark combat gear blending almost perfectly with the rock face which Heero had scaled part way. He stood there on the semi-sheer bluff watching and listening, what he hoped to hear Ash did not know.

Walking forward Ash made no effort to silence his approach, wanting Heero to know he was coming. He had never managed to sneak up on his friend before, but he certainly did not want now to be the time. Ash had a strange suspicion that Heero would not take such surprises very well, if someone did ever manage to get the better of him. "What's got you up there?" Ash called as he reached the base.

Heero never even looked down, for all the reaction he gave; it was as if he had not heard; but his answer did come "There's a helicopter coming."

The hazel eyed man blinked in total surprise; he couldn't hear a thing. "Logan's on his way now… should be here in a few minutes." Heero nodded to that, and slowly began to descend. Ash folded his arms as he watched the cat like grace that his friend possessed it was almost inhuman. He wondered what sort of training Heero had been put through to give him such talents, or was it something that he was born with? Yet these were answers never to be expected, Heero was more closed mouthed about his background than what happened three years ago to lead him to shoot Relena. "We'll be home in just over four-teen hours."

The Japanese man grunted in response leaning casually back against the rock out cropping which he had been climbing. The silence, which fell between them, was not an uncomfortable one, Ash and become used to Heero's manners enough so that he could remain in this void as long as the Japanese man required it. Though the silence did not last, it was not broken by either of them, as the pick up time closed in on them Ash's men began moving out of the cottage, brining with them Relena's guards, and the lovely princess herself. 

Ash had been paying close attention to Heero as Relena came out into the snow-covered world. At first he gave no reaction whatsoever, but as her sweet wildflower scent drifted over to where they stood, he stiffened though it was almost impossible to tell. Seeing this, Ash became determined to discover what it was that Heero hid, but that would have to wait until they made it back and had delivered Relena. The Japanese man was not likely to speak until that point. 

With a roar that quite suddenly filled the entire valley around them Ash looked up to see the helicopter coming into view, it was a more than welcomed sight. Shielding his eyes from the icy snow being blown up into the brisk air by rotor, Ash stepped forward to direct the path of the helicopter. Yet before he could take a step Heero was already there, not seeming to notice the stinging ice pellets which pelted his face. With that taken care of Ash turned moving back towards his men, Relena stood within their centre looking small but not frail, she still managed to give off the aura of strength and control, which so many respected her for.

He moved easily through his men, gently guiding Relena to one side, "I'm sure I can trust you to behave on the helicopter. But I hope you understand that we can't expect the same from you men, from this point on they're going to have to be sedated."

"They've given their word," she defended as he knew she would.

"Yes, but in close quarters where we can't risk using our guns, they may decide the risk is worth it," Ash reasoned quietly.

Relena shook her head adamantly; "They would not be so foolish as to put my life in danger, which such action would certainly do."

"As true as your statement may be princess, my men and I simply can't take the risk." His tone had shifted subtly leaving no room for argument, it was a mere courtesy that he was informing her of their plans. 

Off to the right the helicopter had safely landed, and with no sight of Heero, it was clear to Ash where he had disappeared. As he walked Relena back among the men he made pointed eyes contact with two of his men, they both nodded knowing what was about to happen. Fluidly without any hesitation or forewarning both Derrick and Tom, found themselves held in impossibly tight holds. "What the hell is this?!" Anderson cried suddenly struggling even though it was futile to resist.

"Due to safety reasons, from here on you're going to need to be sedated. Now we can either do this the easy way, or the hard way. But no matter your decision this will be done, I'm sorry but this is the only way," he spread his hands as if to show is lack of options.

Their glares only deepened, and he could see a number of choice words and curses forming on their lips. But to their credit they put up no further struggles, merely watched as the two men he had indicated before with a look closed in. With the injections given and the drug now safely working its way through their systems Ash signaled to his men it was time to leave. He was first to climb aboard the helicopter, and with a quick scan of his eyes he knew Heero was sitting up with the pilot. That was no real surprise, he had known the Japanese man would want to keep that distance between himself and Relena. 

Moving up to the head of the empty compartment, Ash waited for everyone to climb aboard and seat themselves against the walls. Relena's men were strapped in to keep them from being thrown. The sedative that they had given would not knock them out entirely but it would render most motor skill impaired, and their balance completely shot. Once everyone was seated he slammed his hand against the dividing door twice to let the pilot know, they could begin the trip back. 

Sighing with a note of relief, Ash slid to the floor, leaning his back against the door, behind which Heero hid. A rueful smile touched his weather worn features at that thought, it seemed ridiculous to think of that young man hiding from anything, he was so strong Ash had never met anyone who possessed more strength. And yet that was exactly what he was doing, from the moment they had arrived, even with the alcohol. Unfortunately for him, until they reached the colony, there was simply no place to hide.

^_^ thanks for reading!

****

The Truth of Lies:

Heero reached for the door handle before him, wanting to be away from here; it was very difficult to fight off the memories when they were standing right in front of you. "Heero!" his head came up slowly when he heard the feminine voice. Relena was staring right at him, an ice cold fire burning deep within her eyes, "I believed in _you_!" it was spat with all the venom she had been keeping pent up since he caught her in the tree. And it struck Heero like a punch to the gut; all thought left him, his mask stayed strong and true, revealing only what he wanted them to see.


	6. The Truth of Lies

****

Mistaken Words

AN: Here it is at last! The chapter that should answer all questions ^_^ Thanks again for all your reviews and kind words ^_^ you guys are the greatest!!!! I'd like to apologize in advance if the next chapter is a little late. I haven't yet got it back from my editor, so please be patient with me. I promise to you all right now that nothing short of the world blowing up will keep me from finishing this story ^_^

Rayo: Thanks for the review!! ^_^

Sanae: ^_^ yes yes nice happy ending *mumbles* after it gets a lot sadder *mumbles* ^_^

Morrighan of Crimson and Sable: Thanks! This should answer all your questions…and hopefully bring about a few more ^_~

Ramyh: thanks for the review….what are the other pilots doing? Well I won't say they're in the dark about Relena's kidnapping, but they can't let the world get hold of that information. Don't worry they will be coming into this story.

Miyoko5800: I was really surprised when I saw your question…didn't think anyone would ask that ^_^ and I had a truly great answer all lined up for you…but re-reading this chapter let me see that I answer it here ^_~ And like I said to Ramyh, the absence of the pilots will be explained in a later chapter…it's just not their time to enter this story ^__^

Disclaimer: Nope still don't own

** **

The Truth of Lies

Heero walked with a comfortable stride down the isles of the shuttle towards where Ash relaxed appearing as though he had not a care in the world. He himself was feeling anything but that comfortable, the muscles in his neck and shoulders were like rock from stress, and nothing he did seemed to loosen them. Yet that was only a minor discomfort something easily forgotten, he had dealt with it long enough already. They had been traveling for nearly fourteen hours to reach their destination, and in less than half an hour they would be there, and Heero would be free once more.

An internal voice mocked him bitterly at that thought, but he had been forcing that part of himself aside for so long, it could not longer be heard. Frustration and anger boiled through him in turns, leaving him always just on the edge of control. For the first time in his life it was an effort to keep this war form appearing on his hard features, only years of practice and an iron will kept him the victor. His body thirsted, yet he knew that no amount of water would quench his need, Ash had denied him his release at the cottage, but there was nothing stopping him now, not now that they were back.

Dante would have what he wanted, and in the end Heero…

The Japanese man shut his mind away from that subject; the last thing he wanted to be thinking about right now was Relena. He could feel her eyes watching him coldly, from where she sat rigidly in her chair. Heero had done everything he possible could to avoid her, despite the questions that it raised with Ash, nevertheless there were few places that he could go on this small shuttle that the princess would not be within speaking distance. Ash conversed with her often, though not always were the conversations two sided, the former pilot did his best not to pay attention but his training was too good, he was constantly hearing ever word spoken.

Heero's hand clenched painfully, removing the princess from his mind, he was not going to think about her, not now…later…

Light conversation filled the compartment, as Ash's men spoke idly amongst themselves. All the black combat gear had been discarded for cloths more appropriate for the colony's climate. Heero had donned a pare of blue jeans, with a white T-shirt, and a blue button down oxford left open over top. He no longer wore tank tops, as they revealed that which he wished to remain hidden. ~_So much has changed_~ he thought darkly. Nothing was as it had been three years before, but that was a time in his life he was not going to think about now…

Coming to a stop beside the seat Ash lounged comfortably in, he glared down at the other man. "We'll be there is less than half an hour," was his monotone report.

As expected a tiny smile touched upon Ash's face, "I'm sure I can guess where you'll be heading."

Heero suppressed his angry growl refusing to notice just how much resemblance Ash held with a one-time friend. There were just too many thoughts; he did not want to let in just yet… 

"I'll complete the mission," he grated softly prussian orbs like daggers.

Ash appeared completely and totally unaffected by the look, which would have sent most men running. His eyes flickered lazily over to where Relena sat her guard Jake seated at her side keeping a silent vigil. "Are you going to remain here? Or are you heading back to the cockpit?" it was an innocent enough question, yet with the glance he seemed almost to be asking if Heero where going to continue to hide.

It was an effort to repress the urge to kill Ash, or at least maim him, but somehow the physically and emotionally exhausted pilot managed it. As he forced himself to take a seat on Ash's far side. Leaning wearily back in the chair, Heero let his head drop back against the rest, eyes remaining open though heavily lidded.

"When was the last time you slept?" all humor had left Ash's voice when he spoke now, keeping his tone low, so the conversation would remain between them only. "And I mean more than two hours," he added as an after thought.

For a moment Heero considered ignoring the question, perhaps feigning sleep, but he knew right away Ash would not fall for such a ploy. Still it was several moments of long silence before his head shifted not lifting from the rest to view his companion, "Not since we left the colony." 

Ash's brow lowered slightly at this, "And I know you haven't been eating either," this was not a question.

The Japanese man rolled his eyes, what should Ash care if he choice to sleep or eat, he had gone longer stretches than this during the war. He shuddered back from that line of thought knowing it would only lead him down paths he did not want to be traveling while his mind was so clear. But soon, soon it would not be a problem…

"Just let it go…" He breathed turning his attention to the window, which should have been displaying the wonders of a star filled universe. But all the blinds had been pulled; they did not want to give any indication of their colony's location in relation to the ones around it. It was far safer for them that their cargo did not know where they were being taken. 

"You're going to run yourself into an early grave, but I don't know why I should care," Ash mumbled to himself with a voice clearly more annoyed than he felt. 

Silence fell between them, and Heero let his eyes slide closed, allowing his other senses to pick up on the loss. Absently he tuned his hearing into the breathing that was going on around him, distinguishing certain people for the uniqueness of the sound. It was surprising to him that the shuttle would be quiet enough for him to do this, but he supposed everyone was anticipating the return home. He sensed Ash turning to look at him, and could almost see the gleeful smile painted upon his lips. Without moving anything else, Heero shot his right hand across his body, and caught the other man's wrist in a vice like grip.

Opening his eyes slowly the Japanese man regarded the one who sat beside him. Ash did not appear surprised by Heero's sudden movement; in fact his plain featured face was still smiling. His smile faded suddenly as Ash's brow knitted together with concern; "You should eat something before you go, it will make tomorrow easier."

"Just let it go," Heero repeated with a sighed throwing Ash's hand back to him before closing his eyes once more. The eyes never stopped watching him, the concern never left the feel of them upon Heero's form. His frustration built rising up in the back of his throat before he released it with another sigh, "I suppose you'll be coming too."

"Have I ever not? What makes you think this will be any different?"

Heero let it go at that, there was not point rehashing old arguments, which got him nowhere. The silence returned and this time Heero hoped it was for good, if he had been in the mood to talk before, this short conversation had certainly killed it. Letting his eyes close once more Heero tried to focus upon anything other than what his mind was laying before him, yet even this was not enough to get him speaking with Ash, he just kept counting down the minutes, it would not be long now, he was so close…

A soft ringing caught Heero's attention, and he cracked one eye open just enough to watch Ash fish through his pockets for the small cell phone he was carrying. "This is Ash," he said, the tone of his voice saying he already knew who it was calling.

"Everything went according to plan," Ash responded to the question only he could hear.

"Yes sir…We'll be docking in less than five minutes," he glanced over to Heero, mouthing the name 'Dante' though it wasn't necessary, the Japanese man had already known. "You'll be waiting there?"

Heero turned his eyes away, not finding the half conversation interesting, his thoughts in turn strayed to Dante. The leader of the Free Born, a man of great dignity and intelligence, in many ways he reminded Heero of Treize, they were both men of great stature, something that stood out among the more common leaders. He was some what of an enigma though, desiring peace for his people, and at the same time willing to take steps to secure that peace while very likely throwing the rest of the world into turmoil. Heero doubted anything serious would come from their abduction of Relena, Une and the rest would do everything possible to keep that under wraps. 

Dante was a secretive man, not always sharing all of his plans with his men, and perhaps this was something to be looked upon as a valuable trait. The less information was floating around, the less likely it was to make it into the hands of someone who would exploit it. Heero was not one of the few Dante gave information too freely. The Japanese man had preferred riding silently on the side lines, an observer, and a great asset when the time came. He had found a place among the Free Born something he was not altogether sure he could find anywhere else, but then he had never really given himself the chance to try. 

~_Not this…not now…_~ he thought darkly pulling his mind away from thought and back to what was happening around him. Ash had finished his conversation with Dante and was now leaning back easily, eyes studying the ceiling with deep interest. The shuttle trembled suddenly, as it eased its way into the colony's docking bay, and settled to rest on the metal flooring. Heero drew in a breath, they had made it, and his release was within reach. 

He wasted no time coming to his feet, and was not the only one. Within seconds the whole shuttle was buzzing with activity. Soldiers moved this way and that gathering together all that they had brought, and prepared to leave the shuttle. Ash stretched up pulling down his bag and Heero's where it had been stored before the Japanese man had made his way to the cockpit. Heero's eyes flickered on their own accord to where Relena waited not seeming to have noticed they were there. Jake had gathered together her bag and his own, and was motioning for her to rise when Ash stepped in.

"That's fine Jake, Heero and I will take it from here, go on back to your family," the older man smiled and passed Relena's bag over before departing from the shuttle along with the others. 

Shouldering his pack, Heero watched from the isle, face a dark mask as Relena came to her feet and stepped before Ash at his bidding. Her guards had already been removed from the shuttle, both out from the drugs they had been given. What Dante planed to do with them Heero neither wanted to know nor cared, none of this was his problem anymore. She strode past the Japanese man eyes straight ahead as though she did not even see him. Something stirred within him at that but he crushed it, not yet…

Heero was the last one to disembark from the shuttle, finding the docking bay to be just as busy as it had been on board. Men and women rushed around performing different tasks, all of which had to be done, they seemed to pay no mind to those who left the shuttle, or even that Relena Peacecraft herself was standing among them. His prussian eyes focused upon a group of men standing at the foot of the stairs, eyes upturned waiting for her. Dante wore a cordial smile upon his face when Relena appeared. He stood out among the crowed standing almost a full head taller than the other men around him, Heero supposed women would find him handsome, with his clean shaven face and gentle eyes. But Heero only saw someone he couldn't full trust.

Ash guided Relena down the stairs with a hand upon her elbow, and a bright smile on his face. Heero trailed along behind, his visage remaining dark and hard. "My Lady, I apologize for the way in which my men had to take you," Dante began with a fluid bow, one that held the same sincerity that Ash's did.

"They didn't have to take me at all," she told him coldly, back straight head held high though it barely reached the mid point on his chest.

Dante smiled down at her, clearly having nothing to say in response to that at least not here in the middle of the hanger. "If you would," he began motioning for her to walk along side him; "There is much I think you'd like to know."

Ash glanced back at Heero, jerking his head in the direction the others had moved off in without a word he followed silently behind. His job had been completed; he had delivered her into Dante's hands, now there was nothing left to do, but fight the memories. Dark eyes shifted around in search of a car, or bike, anything that could get him to his destination quickly; too much time had passed already. Dante lead the large group over to where a couple of limos waited engines still running, Heero ignored those, his attention focusing on the small black car that waited empty beside them.

It was this that he and Ash moved towards, the taller man cutting across to take the drivers seat. "Are you not coming Ash?" Dante called in question, he stood beside one of the vehicles Relena at his side. Her eyes burned their way into Heero's head, and he desperately wished his mind was clouded with drink, anything to dull that piercing edge.

"No, Heero and I have business in the city," he responded one arm resting on top of the car, as he already had the door open and one foot in.

"You two did a fine job, I thank you," Heero shuddered internally at the praise he had never been comfortable with it from anyone, least of all in a situation like this.

Heero reached for the door handle before him, wanting to be away from here; it was very difficult to fight off the memories when they were standing right in front of you. "Heero!" his head came up slowly when he heard the feminine voice. Relena was staring right at him, an ice cold fire burning deep within her eyes, "I believed in _you_!" it was spat with all the venom she had been keeping pent up since he caught her in the tree. And it struck Heero like a punch to the gut; all thought left him, his mask stayed strong and true, revealing only what he wanted them to see.

As best he could with only mechanical movements Heero slid into the car, his last futile hope shattering around him like a wall of shining glass. Her words echoed endlessly within his head mocking him, with his foolish hope, something he should never have allowed himself to hang onto. Heero wanted to fall in upon himself, but there was no safe refuge there, only the memories he would give anything to forget. The car pulled away silence filling the inside, but he was only half aware of it as he fought to remain indifferent. To give in now was to break completely, something he could not afford; he was still a soldier.

Unfortunately Ash was not content with just the silence, "You want to tell me what that was about?" he questioned eyes briefly glancing away from the road he was following.

The former pilot remained completely silent pretending he had not heard; thinking about it was not an option, the need to explain himself became too great. He began to feel closed in as though all of this had been for nothing, that Relena's words had stripped away everything…

But he could not…would not, think of that with his mind so clear.

"I know there's something going on there," Ash continued never daunted by his silence; "You spent the entire time avoiding her, and I know it was just her, it had nothing to do with patrolling…"

Heero tried to hold back a sigh as he glared at the other man; Ash was not going to let this go. Reaching forward he flicked on the radio, it didn't matter what station so long as it was playing loud. Yet his all too subtle hint did not deter Ash, who simply shut the radio off, and continued to speak. "You shot her over three years ago, why on earth would her comment affect you now?"

Silence was his only response, Heero leaned back in his seat eyes looking straight ahead arms crossed.

"I hope you don't try and deny that it's affecting you, 'cause I can see it in your eyes," he twisted in his seat now that they were at a stoplight. "You can't remain silent forever."

As they started to move again Heero's thoughts turned to escape, Ash would not let up no matter how many of his questions were ignored, or how often he was threatened. It was not something Heero though he could deal with right now, not on top of keeping his memories at bay. Glancing out the window, he knew they were not all that far from the pub that he frequented, nor were they really traveling all that fast. Suddenly jumping from the car became a lot more appealing. Testing the handle he found the door to be locked, but a quick search had his fingers on the lock; pulling it up he tested the latch again, still it did not open.

A soft laugh brought Heero's head about, "Child safety locks," Ash smiled evilly; "You won't be jumping from this car, so you might as well tell me what's up."

Heero's glare darkened if possible, "Just drive the damn car." 

"You know, with the amount of stress that you live in it's a wonder you don't fifty ulcers," the other man shook his head in something that was almost pity. "I just want to help you Heero," it was the first time his voice had actually sounded sincere.

"I don't need your help," the Japanese man told him flatly cold hard eyes turning to regard him for a brief moment

"Oh yes you do!" Ash countered quickly, "You're just to stubborn and full of pride to admit it."

"Hn…" his fist clenched, Ash would counter everything he said no matter what it was; the best course lain before him was to say nothing at all.

Heero kept his head turned slightly away; eyes watching the people they passed, it was almost the afternoon hours, and the entire colony would be abuzz with activity. And at the same time the pub would be all but empty, just the way Heero liked it. Yet even when the bar was full, there was an obvious ring about him that no one crossed. Ash had made sure of that shortly after Heero had begun to rely on alcohol's calming effects to relieve the harshest of memories. It was something he tried not to need too often, Heero hated having to _need_ anything, but nothing else every seemed to help. He hated having Ash and others watch out for him, but if they didn't naïve people got hurt thinking him an easy target.

Thankfully his use of alcohol was not that frequent, other than these few times, he never touched the stuff. But these few times raised a lot of questions with Ash, his already nosy friend, now wanting to know what specifically drove him to these lengths. Somehow he managed to avoid the seemingly endless line of questions, and became a wonder to him that Ash even remained around him, considering how very little he knew about Heero.

His sharp ears picked up the soft click deep within his door, a signal to him that Ash had disengaged the child locks, and they had arrived at their destination. Almost breathing a sigh of relief Heero stepped from the car, casting his prussian eyes on the old building that housed the pub. He had chosen this one in particular for its remote location, though the bar was frequented by many it did not have the crowds, which many of their new bars did. Crowds were something Heero could definitely do without.

Walking calmly into the bar, Heero found that his hands were almost shaking with his anticipation, and he focused for a moment on stilling them; he did not want to give Ash anything further to use against him. Nick the bartender smiled as they walked in, coming to stand closer to them with a glass in one hand and a drying towel in the other. He kept a clean and quiet little pub, something he had always wanted to do when he retired; and it was the pleasant atmosphere as much as his good prices, which drew the patrons.

"A little early isn't it?" he questioned good-naturedly eyes skipping off of Heero's hard expression to focus on Ash who stood behind him.

Ash chuckled, "We just got back and felt like celebrating," he informed the older man, whose eyes flicked back to Heero with a knowing look.

The Japanese man sigh with exasperation, "Rye," was his cold order. Nick nodded his head, the smile leaving his face as he filled a glass for Heero and passed it to him. With his drink in hand Heero turned towards the table that was unofficially his whenever he would come. It was slightly apart from the rest of the room, right near the back exit, and a window, allowing him to relax with the knowledge of two escapes.

Taking a seat with his back to the wall, he watched Ash occupy the seat across from him with a foaming mug of beer in one hand. He liked to drink but he never let himself get carried away when Heero was here, that bothered the Japanese man, and he had considered trying to find another bar. However that held problems and annoyances he'd rather avoid then go through again. At standing only five foot three inches Heero was small, even for women's height he was short; it didn't bother him, but it did have people guessing his age. And the problems didn't end there, the first time he had come to Nick's bar and had managed to convince him of his age, there had been a great deal of concern over the amount of alcohol he had been consuming. Since the effect was based on height and weight, Nick had been afraid he was going to kill himself. Not possible considering his quick metabolism, his body worked so fast that if he did not take the adult dosage of some medications he got no effect at all.

Heero took a long drink form his glass, savoring the harsh burn as the rye slid down his throat, spreading its warm fingers through him. Even if he managed to find another bar, convince them that he was of age, and wouldn't kill himself; word would inevitably make it back to Ash. Despite his best efforts he just stood out too much. 

"Heero…earth to Heero…" his eyes came up hard and angry; "You can't be drunk yet my friend you haven't even finished your first drink."

"What?" Heero drained the last of the rye and signaled for more, he caught Nick's slight nod before returning his attention to Ash.

"Feel any better now?" the question was one of honest concern, but Heero simply shrugged in reply.

Accepting his new drink he watched the dark liquid swirl around the clear glass, he had never needed such relief before. But committing himself to this mission had proved the uses of alcohol. Heero shuddered at the memory of that first night, only the desperate dream to finish what he had only just before started kept himself form drinking enough to kill. He had to be able to tell them, to explain, but now it was looking like explaining would get him nowhere…

Ash sipped at his beer thoughtfully, "Do you want to talk about it now?"

"Talk about what?" Heero demanded with a sigh draining his glass again, the liquors affect wasn't coming fast enough for him.

"About what happened between you and Relena," he said in a voice which screamed 'that should have been obvious.' 

Heero brushed a hand down his face as he waited for more, and slammed his palm down upon the smooth polished wood, "Nothing happened."

"That bullshit, and you know it!" Ash flared.

For a moment Heero did not see the table before him, but rather an assembly hall filled with delegates and people of power. All listening to one young woman, with the power to unite them all. He had waited purposely in plain sight, knowing Quatre would feel his presence, that it was necessary to his mission that one of them see him. His mask had been particularly hard to keep that day, as he watched the assassin take up his gun aiming it for Relena's heart…

"…are you even listening to me anymore?" his friend called with frustration, leaning across the table to look into Heero's shielded eyes. "Take it easy, you have all night to drink yourself into the ground, nothing saying it has to take place in the first hour."

Heero was surprised to find yet another full glass in his hand; his thoughts had been so focused inwards that he had not even noticed he'd finished the one before. A grunt was all he gave Ash as he tasted the fine liquid, mind drifting off yet again.

The only year of peace he experienced had been hard for him; nowhere he went did he fit in. So much of him was soldier that his body knew no other way to react, and that caused nothing but tension for the people he was around. It had not been long before he had caught wind of the Free Born, a rather large group of people living upon one colony who too found it difficult to adjust. He had fallen in with them not knowing what else to do, the other pilots had all seemed to settle easily into the new found peace, and although Relena was a stabilising force in his life. He found it simply was not enough, he could not talk to her, and expect her to understand what he was going through, she was not a warrior, and had dreamed of peace for all her life.

None of them knew of any of this; he didn't know why he could not speak of his troubles to the others, but something stopped him. Heero had had no intentions of withdrawing from them completely, he had only hoped his time among the Free Born might help him adjust. It was in that first year that he had caught wind of an internal group among Dante's men. It was only a whisper here and there; something spoken of in dark corners, but it had set off alarms in Heero head.

Glancing up Heero was beginning to feel a rather strong effect from the alcohol he had already consumed, and was met by Ash's hard stare. "I've never seen you zone out so much," he commented, one finger drawing little designs with the perspiration his beer was leaving on the table.

Heero shrugged, he had never been thrown into this situation before. One hand lightly brushed at the left side of his chest, feeling the rather large hard lump beneath the material of his shirt. It was supposed to be a brand, in the shape of a phoenix, the defining mark of the Inner Circle. But Heero had not wanted that permanent mark upon his body, so he faked it. But what difference did that make now…?

Shuddering as he drained another glass, Heero tried to count how many that had been but he was no longer sure. From the looks of it Ash was still on his first beer. The bar was beginning to fill with noise, as some of its regular patrons came in from finishing work. "I suppose it would be wishful thinking, to think that was your last drink?" it was not really a question.

The Japanese man motioned for more, and more was brought. "This isn't healthy," Ash voiced, not for the first time, but Heero ignored it, he had done a lot in his life that would not be considered healthy.

He saw the great hall again, everything still as the last word of a magnificent speech echoed across the open space. Everyone was still held bound and captive, unaware of the threat that was growing, everyone but Quatre. His sky blue eyes stared in disbelief, frozen as Heero raised his gun eyes trained on something other that the young president. The shot was fired a single resounding _bang_ and Heero watched as the princess fell back, blood staining her pale blouse. 

~_That's at least what Quatre saw_~ Heero thought bitterly, draining his rye. ~_But does anything else matter now?_~ Relena's words tore through his mind then, and he shut his eyes tightly against their harsh reality. To gain access to the Inner Circle, Heero had had to sever all ties that he held with his friends, it had to be believable, and the only way he could do that was to become a traitor. 

Heero was surprised when he brought the cup to his lips again and found it full. Ever since that day three years ago, he had been trying to discover who ran the Inner Circle, and what their goal in all this was. But he only had two contacts among them, everything was passed through word of mouth, and in all these years he had barely made any headway at all. Yet he could not give up, he had to finish this mission, to protect the peace no matter the cost, so he could tell them…

Tell them…

He finished off that glass, head remaining down, no longer really aware of who or what was around him, Ash was still near by and that was about all he could sense. 

Two shots had been fired that day, though only one was heard that was what Quatre could not see, that was what none of them knew. It was his painful secret. His bullet had found its mark, as had everyone before it over the years, but that mark had not been Relena. It had been the shoulder of the assassin who had tired to take her life that day. He had led them to believe it was him, they were all living a lie, one he had hoped to explain to show them what had truly happened, to place himself back among the people he realised he needed. 

~_I believed in you_~ what hope was for that now?


	7. A Reaction

****

Mistaken Words

AN: Alright! Here we are again ^_^ Huge thank you to Pious Knight!!!! ^_^ you are truly the king of men!!!! ^_~

Mikito: Thanks! And you will find out what Heero and Wufei said, but not for a while yet…I'm still working on that one ^_^

Morrighan of Crimson and Sable: you'll be saying poor Heero a lot I think….oops wasn't supposed to say that ^_~

Ramyh: you're right about that not happening for a while, but it will happen, this is a HeeroxRelena after all. And I can promise Duo and Ash are great together ^_~

Vashfan: thanks for the review I'm glad you like it ^_^

RVD: thanks! I hope you've continued reading, and a few things should make more sense now.

Erinamation-limited2-nothing: ^_^ I think that sums it up rather well.

Miyoko5800: you're right he didn't 'actually' betray his friends but it looked like it did, and once they announced him traitor, there could be little doubt within the Inner Circle. Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: nope don't own.

** **

A Reaction

Ash watched his intoxicated friend very carefully, a growing worry within him at how despondent Heero had become. He sat there across the table head down right hand gripping his empty glass. Never before had he ever seen the Japanese man lose himself so completely; alcohol effected Heero differently. Where as most men would lose motor skills and concentration, say and do things they would not consider while sober, Heero was very different. He became quieter if that was possible, on edge, dangerous. A few people had learned the hard way no to touch him while he was like this, as he no longer recognised friend from foe, everything was a threat. 

"Heero…?" he tried tentatively, his half-emptied mug resting forgotten beside him. Slowly his head came up revealing unfocused eyes and a pale face, the smaller man seemed suddenly to remember where he was, and raised his glass towards the bar.

All things considered, Ash really didn't think his friend needed any more, tomorrow would be a rough day for Heero; no need to add alcohol poisoning to the list. Nick walked over, both hands empty, but the Japanese man was no longer paying any attention. This set off alarms in his head, and he wanted to shake his friend, and probably would have, if he wasn't afraid it could cost him his life. "I don't really think he should be having anymore," Nick said looking at the smaller man critically.

"No I agree, but I haven't decided how to get him out of here yet," every other time Heero would get up and leave on his own, this was the first time that he showed no signs of budging.

Nick took a seat at the table careful to keep his distance from Heero, "What brought this about?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," he returned with a sigh, "I've been trying all day to get him to tell me, but when he wants to be silent you could shoot him and he wouldn't utter a sound."

The older man nodded his head pale eyes flickering over to the Japanese man, a light of unmistakable worry shining in the back of them. "I have to admit I'm a little concerned, we started 'watering' down the rye about an hour ago, and I don't recall him ever acting this way before."

Ash nodded, that had him concerned too, considering the way Heero would drink he had asked Nick to start tampering with the alcohol. They always waited until he was drunk so he wouldn't notice, "It's worrying me too," he admitted quietly.

"If you can, you may want to try and get rid of what's in his stomach, that could help," Nick offered; though his voice did not sound to convinced that that would be possible.

He snorted, "Easier said then done." He ran a hand through his short hair, "Well, he might do it on his own, he hasn't eaten anything in several days," he shrugged eyes never leaving his friend. "No matter what happens, he's going to wish he was dead tomorrow."

"Personally I don't know why they do it," Nick asserted.

That caught Ash by surprise, "You sell the stuff! You of all people should know why!"

The old man shrugged one shoulder, "I sell, and I watch, but that doesn't mean I understand."

"Well sitting here isn't going to make anything better for him," Ash said pointing a thumb in Heero's direction.

Nick came to his feet at that, folding his arms and looking as Ash sternly, "Just remember to give him lots of water." He then turned and began walking back to his bar, muttering under his breath about the foolishness of _some_ people.

Ash watched him for a moment before returning his attention to his friend, "Heero," he called again softly, the only reaction he received being his head rising slight, "It's time to go." Silently he hoped this would be enough to get the Japanese man moving. Unfortunately Heero remained where he was eyes locked upon his empty glass. 

"C'mon Heero say something!"

Nothing…

Leaning across the table Ash decided to take a risk, he snapped his finger suddenly by Heero's right ear. The small man gave no reaction, as much as he was relieved to be alive and in one piece, this lack of regard terrified him. Standing Ash quickly made his way to Heero's side, but hesitated once he got there, still unsure if he could touch his Japanese man. Several moments passed before he came to the decision, there was no other option. "Heero, we have to leave now," he said softly into the other man's ear, wanting to have his attention before he took his arm. 

Heero's head rose a little at this, a slight jerk, which made Ash jump violently. But nothing came of it; he just watched through unfocused eyes. With a slow breath he bit the bullet and took Heero's arm…his heart racing Ash opened his tightly closed eyes to see his friend sitting, uncaring to the human contact. Sighing in relief he gave a light tug on the arm while gently saying, "It's time to go." To Ash's immediate surprise Heero stood, he seemed a little unsteady on his feet, at least in comparison to the other times he had been in this state. However, he was in far better condition than most of the other patrons. 

Keeping a hand on Heero's arm, Ash slowly directed them from the bar, pausing at the counter only long enough to pay the bill. That was also something Heero usually did. His eyes flicked endlessly between where he was going and the expression on the Japanese man's face; desperately wanting to see something other than the mask devoid of all feeling. The mask was nothing new, but never before had it appeared that the only thing behind the mask was a void filled with emptiness. Ash knew Heero had emotions like everyone else, he only hid them away pretending they didn't exist, as though he didn't know how to handle them.

Ash found himself breathing a sigh of relief when he had Heero seated in the car, though his concern for his friend had not lessened any. He wanted desperately to know what it was that Heero wasn't telling any of them. There was definitely something between them, or at least had been at one time…but what? Heero had tried to kill her in cold blood… that was not really something that could breed a deep relationship.

He forced his mind from such thoughts, knowing without any answers he'd simply drive himself crazy. Tearing his eyes from the road for a brief second Ash looked over to where Heero sat silently beside him, his eyes staring listlessly out the window. "Hey Heero, you still with me?" he asked quietly, hoping to get a verbal response back; there was not even a reaction to say Heero had heard. "We're almost home Heero, then you can sleep," Ash spoke the words more for his benefit, then that of his Japanese friend. 

Driving the car down into the underground parking lot, Ash had no trouble finding Heero's spot. He didn't know if his friend simply did not own a car or left it somewhere else; knowing Heero somewhere else was very likely. Ash did not immediately leave the car, but waited, eyes scanning around, looking to see if there was any other life among the rows of vehicles. Not seeing another soul, he left the car. He did not particularly relish the idea of someone seeing his friend in this state, and if it could be avoided he would.

The apartment Heero had chosen was an interesting pick; it had three easy escapes other than using the front door. Which to Ash said a lot about Heero's character, or at least his mental state, and he was fairly sure that the small man was wired into the security system, using his own knowledge to up its range and effectiveness. It totally blew Ash's mind sometimes when he realised just how on edge Heero was at all times, it was a wonder the stress of his life had not yet killed him. But then there were these times, and although Heero did not relax with the drink in the way other men did, it was a drastic difference from his normal life.

Heero gave him no trouble when he went to pull him from the car, but came automatically to his feet, though his movements were lacking the fluidity they usually possessed. Guiding Heero by the arm once more Ash made his way to the emergency fire escape, feeling that was the best option for getting up to Heero's apartment on the third floor. He was unsure if this particular door was being monitored or not, Ash had a feeling it was but he and Heero had gone up it more than once without hesitation. It was a great relief for Ash to see that Heero could climb the stairs on his own, whether his motivation came from himself or the hand on his arm was a mystery to Ash. Yet so long as they made it to Heero's rooms it wouldn't matter.

The eerie silence was unnerving, not that Heero was ever one to fill a quiet void, but this just seemed to hold to many similarities to the silence of death for Ash's comfort. Poking his head out into the hall, he found it devoid of all life, this apartment building was full to capacity but thankfully people were not constantly moving about. Ash wondered if anyone around here even knew of Heero's existence, some how he doubted it, and he was not about to make his presence known. Reaching into his pocket Ash removed his keys; he had had one made shortly after he became friends with the quiet man. He didn't know what it was but something had tugged at him that despite Heero's obviously cold and disinterested nature he wanted to be a friend to him, to watch out for the man who seemingly had no one watching him at all. 

Together they entered Heero sparely furnished apartment, and he flicked on the lights. The building itself was very nice, and well-kept. Heero had just not seen the need to add any personal touches to the rooms when he had come here. No pictures hung on the walls save the ones Ash had brought himself and without permission had placed where he thought best. It had surprised him to no end to return the following day and find them where he had left them. 

Ash moved forward through the spacious apartment with his unresponsive friend walking along beside. There were two full bedrooms, but Heero only used one, and the other he left completely empty, and very clean. He was not entirely sure what the Japanese man used it for but he assumed it was training. They walked on past it and came to Heero's darkened room, Ash jumped in complete surprise when some life returned to his friend as Heero walked past him ducking into the bathroom. He remained in the doorway one hand gripping his chest, and breathing hard, but some hope had returned to him, as he hoped Heero had snapped out of it. 

Walking over to the bed Ash turned one of the lamps on, filling the room with its gentle glow. He wondered how Heero could surround himself with such nothingness, and had he always been that way? Ash would have given a lot to know what the Japanese man had been like while he guarded the princess, but he doubted if it had been much different than this. Heero had been in the bathroom for quite a while before Ash began to hear sounds of him throwing up. Without hesitation he crossed the room, and tested the knob, pleased to find it unlocked. By the time he got in there nothing more was coming up but dry heaves.

Filling a glass with water he passed it to his friend once Heero could stand, and watched as he drank the liquid down, making sure he took it all. Ash studied him in the large mirror as he wet a cloth down so Heero could bath his face. There was still nothing registering in those impossibly deep eyes, Heero was functioning but for all intents and purposes he was dead to the world. Heero walked on slightly unsteady feet back into his bedroom, and without so much as a word stripped down to his boxers and crawled into his bed. 

Ash waited, he wanted to get some form of reassurance from his friend that everything would be all right now. Yet nothing came Heero's eyes had closed and his breathing clearly told Ash he was not about to wake any time soon. Nevertheless Ash was not about to leave, and he didn't intend to until this was all sorted out, and he finally knew what had got to his friend so completely. With a shake of his head and a sigh, Ash went in search of a comfortable place to sleep, but halted when his eyes landed on the phone. He wondered if Dante was looking for him, chances were the Free Born leader wanted to know what had happened to Heero.

He pulled the phone across the table, and seated himself on the comfortable couch, Ash was grateful that despite Heero's spartan life he did not feel the need for wood furnishing. Dialling the private number Ash leaned casually back, propping both feet up on the table.

"Hello?" Dante's rich voice greeted him on the third ring.

"Dante, it's Ash," he spoke easily dropping his free hand behind his head in a relaxed manner.

"Ash where are you? I expected you'd be back an hour ago," Dante's voice sounded surprised, an emotion the leader did not use often in public places. It was just one of the reason Ash thought the Dante made such a good leader, nothing could catch him off guard…well not nothing. Heero had on a few occasion but he really didn't count.

His eyes flickered to the darkened hall, which led to Heero's room; "Sorry, I got caught up with Heero."

"What was that all about anyway?" he inquired, clearly referring the strange occurrence in the docking bay.

Ash gave a half laugh, though there was no mirth within it, "Your guess is as good as mine, but I'm almost positive it had something to do with Relena." He cast his eyes towards the ceiling almost lazily; "Which reminds me, how is the Princess?"

There was a short pause, "Are you on a secured line?"

"No worries," Ash assured turning his gaze to the phone that was the only thing adorning the table his legs rested upon; "This is Heero's phone, of course it's secured."

"She's sleeping."

"I take it she didn't agree…" there hadn't been much hope in Ash's mind that she would but Dante was ever the optimist.

The Free Born's leader sighed, "No, I explained our reasons but it simply wasn't enough, she won't give us anything this way."

"When are you going to start plan B?"

"Tomorrow morning," Dante responded in a low voice; "I told her all about it in an attempt to get her to reconsider…"

Ash sat forward in his seat, racking his free hand through his hair, "She's a stubborn one, that's for sure. How long do you think it will take?"

"Getting her ready," he seemed to consider that for a moment; "Shouldn't take more than a day to day and a half. But extracting the information," there was a distinct shrug in his words, "Who can say?"

"Alright…well good luck with that, I'll be in tomorrow once I'm sure Heero's going to live."

"It's that bad is it?" despite the question Dante did not sound all that surprised, "Do you think you'll find out what's behind all this?"

Ash sighed, "Doesn't look promising but I'm not about to give up yet." 

After a quick goodbye Ash returned the receiver to the cradle, and once more leaned back. He had known the options that awaited Relena; he was one of the few people Dante trusted enough to reveal everything to, and he had desperately hoped Relena would co-operate. "Well there's nothing I can do about it now," he reasoned quietly to himself lying down on the soft couch. Still he could not help but wonder what Heero's reaction would be to hearing what Relena was being asked to do. Ash was determined to get something out of his friend, anything he just had to discover what button to push. And any wrong one could have dangerous side effects.

***

Ash bolted up suddenly, his mind jumping from a state of sleep to complete wakefulness. For a moment he was entirely disoriented, having no memory of where he was or how he had come to be there. Hazel eyes scanned the almost barren surroundings trying to realign his thinking, he was at Heero's apartment, they had been out drinking. Ash was on his feet then, eyes darting down to his wristwatch to see the time. It was almost seven o'clock, and there was no sign of Heero.

Running a hand down his face, Ash walked with a slight stumble down the hall towards Heero's silent room. He hesitated for a moment at the closed door, rapping his knuckles upon the smooth wood. There was no answer, no sound what so ever. With great caution, considering how unpredictable Heero had proven to be on occasion, Ash slowly pushed opened the door, and glanced into the darkened room.

He found Heero lying on his back appearing to be fast asleep, the shallow rise and fall of his chest was not all that reassuring for Ash. His skin looked clammy, and his eyes slightly sunken, he was dehydrated, and rather severely by the looks of it. Briefly Ash consider his meagre options, he certainly couldn't let Heero sleep any longer, but how was he to wake him? Not only that but was Heero so bad off he'd be in better hands with a doctor than here in his own home? Ash didn't think that would be the best choice, he had been given a vague idea once about Heero's opinion of doctor's in general when he had suffered a mild case of alcohol poisoning. 

That had been the first time he had ever drank in front of Ash. At the time Ash had not known enough himself to stay sober and Heero had had to be admitted to the hospital. It had surprised him to walk into his room, and find an obvious cold seething anger in his deep eyes; Heero had been out of that room before anyone had even thought to bring up his release papers. Ash had tried on more than one occasion to discover what it was that he didn't like, he wanted to help his friend make sure he got the cared he needed. But this was just another subject that Heero never opened up on, and Ash knew that if he called the hospital now the small man would be out the nearest window when he woke.

This didn't leave him all that many options, but he had to do something. Ash gave himself a shake, the longer he stood here awash with indecision the more likely Heero might not wake from his sleep. "But how do I wake him?" he questioned aloud, a small part of his mind actually listening for an answer. Walking deeper into the room Ash threw back the curtains allowing the artificial sunlight to spill in bathing the room with its warm glow. It would kill Heero when he opened his eyes, but Ash hoped it might draw him from his sleep. Turning back to his friend he saw no change, "Heero…" he called not really expecting to get any reaction.

"Okay so there's a wolf in your bed…how do you get him out?" he asked almost sardonically, not really sure how to vent the concern he was feeling. Ash walked quickly from the room an idea forming in his head; he needed to find a pole. Walking into the kitchen his eyes scanned around until they cam to rest on a broom tucked away in one corner, he pulled it too him with satisfaction then began making a quick search of the cupboards. What he sought was a large glass, and when he found it, Ash filled it with cold water, and returned to Heero's room.

Ash rested the glass on one of the nightstands, and took hold of the bristled end of the broom. Unfortunately it wouldn't give him a great amount of distance, but he felt that he would be able to get away if Heero was to lung. With a slow relaxing breath Ash leaned away from his friend and poked him in the side with the broom calling to him as he did. 

Heero's reaction was swift, his arm shot out taking hold of that which poked him and wrenched it from Ash's hands throwing it across the room. He was ready to bolt at this, fully expecting Heero to be on his feet ready for the attack. But the Japanese man was not; in fact his eyes weren't even opened. This caused Ash's worry to triple, "Get out of here," Heero mumbled angrily.

"Not a chance," Ash almost growled, his nervousness, and fear being replaced by determination. "You've been asleep for too long, so sit up and drink this," he ordered, taking the glass into his hand.

His friend visibly winced when his eyes cracked open, most likely with the intention to glare Ash into and early grave. "Go to hell…" but there was no fire behind those words. His voice sounded dry and raspy, almost faded thin.

"Look I'm giving you two options here, either you wake now and drink what I give you," he brought the glass forward into Heero's line of view. "Or I'm going to have to admit you to the hospital for dehydration," Ash was not so sure now that that would be an impossible feat.

"You wouldn't be able too," was his last monotone attempt.

Ash just smiled, though it felt forced; "I wouldn't have too, the paramedics would, and I don't think you could fight them off right now." In a way despite what the Japanese man was saying it was a relief to have him talking again. 

Heero glared in silence for several minutes, obviously not wanting to give in, but he did finally force himself to a sitting position and take the drink offered to him. His hands shook ever so slightly as he brought the refreshing water to his lips, yet he managed not to spill a drop. Ash moved across the room to draw the curtains granting his friend a little relief from the headache that he must have been feeling. Turning back he found Heero had finished his water, and he quickly took the glass and refilled it in the bathroom. Handing it back Ash expected some sort of comment to brush him off, but nothing came, he simply accepted the glass once more and began to drink.

"I'm going to go make us something for breakfast, okay?" he more than half expected Heero to tell him he wasn't hungry, but the Japanese man said nothing he didn't even look up. ~_He's remembered…_~ Ash thought sadly, he did not think now was the time to start prying but he really wanted to help his friend before he left. With a sad shake of his head Ash walked from the silent room and made his way to the kitchen rummaging through both cupboards and fridge to see what there was to be had. There was not surprisingly very little, a lot of foods that would keep for a long period of time, such as caned foods and rice. 

From what he knew of the silent man Ash did not gather that Heero had had much of a family life, or even any upbringing surrounded by his heritage. Nevertheless rice seemed to be as much of a staple for him as it had been for his ancestor. No surprise, Heero's family was just one more thing his 'overly' talkative friend never discussed. Yet this one was not so hard to explain away, there were signs obvious ones that Heero had suffered abuse throughout his life. His body carried many scars that were not the mark of a victory in battle. These were old, fading, barely holding anything more than memory. Ash was fairly sure he was the only one to see them, other than the paramedics and doctors who tended to him that one time; Ash had been asked a lot of questions that night, but what answers could he possibly give, when he himself had been seeking them.

Distantly Ash register that the water of the shower had been turned on, and he breathed a sigh of relief; a part of him had been worried Heero would remain in that bed forever. His thoughts turned inward once more, as his hands prepared the meal. Heero sported one scar unlike the others, it was not the work of a whip or knife, of a cigarette or broken glass; no this had been intentional, the shape itself had purpose. 

He had been branded, at what time Ash did not know, though the scar tissue did not look new, it was in the shape of a phoenix, wings spread in flight. Something like that you had to chose to do, and that was what made it stand out all the more in Ash's eyes; Heero had never struck him as the type of man to do something like that. By this point he hadn't even bothered asked why it was there, a part of him just chalked it up to a night of drinking, though that explained little, and only made more questions.

Ash was startled from his thoughts as Heero walked with an eerie silence into the dinning room. He came up to the island that separated the kitchen from the room he was standing in, and took a seat on one of the stools. His face was once again that devoid mask, though his eye did show some of the pain he was feeling, Ash didn't think there was any way to conceal it all, not with how his head had to be splitting. He studied the small man as he finished the preparations, noting how Heero hid everything about himself, from the physical to the mental revealing nothing but unanswered questions.

Placing the food in front of his friend, Ash waited tersely to see if he would eat it. Slowly Heero's hand mechanically reached for the fork. Ash silently shook his head, this had to end no one could remain this 'dead' for long, but he knew Heero would push it to the limits if given the opportunity. All he needed was a reaction, yet even on good days that was something the Japanese man almost never gave, so how was he to get one now? As Ash began to eat he decided that that was all he could really hope for, to discover what got to Heero so completely was an idealistic dream, a reaction though, that was something he could do.

"You really scared me last night Heero," he said suddenly eyes locked intently on his friend, Heero's head didn't even come up. "To be honest you're still scaring me now."

Heero finished off the rest of his breakfast, and without a word or even acknowledgement that Ash had spoken, walked over to the sink and dropped his utensils in. He kept his head down, and eyes shielded, whether that was caused by the headache, or an attempt to hide what was in his cobalt eyes Ash didn't know. "C'mon, how long do you intend to keep this self-pity act going?" he demanded, it didn't matter to him what reaction Heero gave so long as there was one, so long as there was an end to this dead silence. 

But the words did not find their way to Heero's anger, they did not pull forth an indignant remark, they did nothing. The Japanese man walked back out into the living room eyes staring at nothing as he just stood there, like a statue on display. Ash came up beside him quickly and just watched him, studied ever detail of the mask he had donned yesterday. It was different from the mask that he had worn at the cottage, that one held emotion, though they were so mixed and beaten down that Ash could not put names to them. This one was simply nothing as though he had lost everything…

__

I believed in you…

Relena's words called out in his mind, a glowing beacon leading him towards the answer, though it was not one he had ever imagined he'd meet. "You love her…" the words were a whisper of his realisation, but they reached Heero's ears, and suddenly the mask was gone replaced with pain. And if that was not answer enough his reaction was, Heero spun suddenly and iron hard fist connecting with the wall, dispelling an explosive amount of force. His face was a thunderhead…of…grief. It was an emotion Ash had not thought Heero even knew, yet there it was clear ringing conformation.

Ash was left in complete stunned shock, as Heero stormed from the room, his reaction finally given. ~_This is crazy_~ his mind screamed, how could he love her, he tried to murder her in cold blood. But despite that small piece of information, the more Ash's mind turned the new realisation over the more answers it gave. As to why Heero had acted the way he did at the cottage, always avoiding Relena, his mask a wash of all those beaten down emotions; he had been at constant war against himself then. Seeing everything now in a new light Ash looked back on yesterday afternoon, now for the first time witnessing the full effect of Relena's words.

He sadly shook his head eyes studying the hall he disappeared into, "So you are human," he whispered softly, wishing there was something more he could say for his friends comfort. But comfort had never been something Heero sought. He racked a hand through his short hair; Dante would want to have this information, as many questions as had just now been answered, Ash felt a thousand had taken their place.

Thank you all for reading ^_^ I'm sorry I didn't add a preview to the last chapter…I got a little ahead of myself in my eagerness to post the chapter. 

** **

For The Mission:

"I called him in sick at work, so I think we'd best leave it till tomorrow."

Dante nodded his agreement, "And you're sure you can get him to come?"

"I'll do my very best," an evil grin touched Ash's face, "I have a few cards I can play against him if the need should arise."

"That's good to hear," Dante sat himself once more behind his desk, "I'll make the arrangements, let's hope this works." His voice was incredibly serious, and Ash knew exactly why, "He's a wild card in all this, and if we want to locate a Gundam pilot we certainly can't loose out only ace." Relena was everything to the mission, and until they gained the information they sought everyone would be balanced on the edge of a knife.

^_^ there that ought to make up for it!

Morganeth Taren'drel 


	8. For The Mission

****

Mistaken Words

AN: (I can never think of what to say ^_^) but thank you all to everyone who has read this story! It's actually been getting a better response than I could have hoped for ^_^ thank you all!! 

Morrghian of Crimson and Sable: ^______^ oh it will work out.*mumbles* in time *mumbles*  
  
**Mikito**: Thank you so much! ^_^ I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint  
  
**Erinamantion-limited2-nothing**: No worries I fully intend to finish this, no matter what ^_^  
  
**Ramyh**: thank you ^_^  
  
**Katie14**: Wow that is a lot of question (and actually just what I had hoped to see when I posted that chapter) thank you so much for the reviews I'm really glad you like the story and a looking forward to more! ^_^  


Disclaimer: don't own

****

For The Mission

Heero drew in a slow calming breath, trying with everything he had to force himself back into a state of disinterest, back to a point where nothing mattered. Where Ash's words stopped echoing continuously in his mind. It disgusted him that he had been so easy to read, that a man who knew next to nothing about him had been able to see what had been kept hidden from the beginning. But that void was no longer attainable, Heero knew he wouldn't be able to simply throw himself back into in.

His mind was awash with raging thoughts, causing his already aching head to pound with the very beat of his heart. Standing in the spare room of his home, Heero dropped his head into one hand and leaned heavily upon the blank wall, willing the world to stop spinning. He needed to regain control, these emotions could not roam free, nevertheless the Japanese man also knew that if he shut down once more it would only cause further questions he did not want to answer right now. 

__

You love her… 

Ash's words taunted him, he would never deny his feelings for her, but at the same time they stabbed at him like a rusted knife reminding him yet again of what he had lost.

__

I believed in you…

Massaging his temples in slow circles Heero's breathing slowed, evening out, becoming normal. What did it matter now? He had lost her, and he had known from the beginning that that was a very probable outcome. But the peace was more important than all of them, than two people's feelings for each other. Heero knew that he had to accept reality and finish his mission, in that he would not fail. 

With this new resolve Heero began to form a barrier around those memories, surrounding the weakness that was the only chink in his imposing armour. Even with the overwhelming wall of black realisation, Heero could not throw aside all hope of making them understand. He did not expect them to ever forgive; there was little chance now that they would ever find his laptop, had discovered his secret. Heero had chosen his words carefully that fateful date, but even Quatre seemed unable to look beyond the moment. To make them understand was all he wanted now.

Heero pulled one hand down his face, feeling his usual mask take hold of his features; it was a strange comfort to have it back, to know that all he had to hide was safe behind it. With a sigh he pushed himself off the wall, and turned back towards the door contemplating whether or not he actually wanted to go back out to the living room. The former pilot was not entirely sure he wanted to face Ash, yet remaining distant would only cause further problems. He quickly decided that ignoring what had happened was the best path to take, because avoiding the man was next to impossible even for Heero.

Feeling like death warmed over, Heero left the echoing room, and slowly made his way back out to the living room. Scanning the basically opened area, he was surprised to find no sign of Ash, it was as if the man had never been. Heero did not call out for him, but rather continued his half hearted search, making his way into the kitchen. There too Ash could not be found, but his prussian orbs did land upon a small piece of paper resting on the island. He reached for it, forcing his eyes to focus upon the small, neat script.

__

Heero

I've called you in sick, so don't even think about going into work today…If I find you went, I may just have to start telling people what you were up to last night.

P.S. Keep drinking water; you're still dehydrated

Ash

The former pilot glared daggers at the note, crumpling it up in his fist; he did not doubt for a minute that Ash had done what he said, and would start spreading information if Heero showed up. Tossing the offending piece of paper in the garbage Heero walked deeper into the kitchen in search of a glass. He did not like the idea of following Ash's orders, but he knew it was true, and if he wanted to get rid of this damn headache, water was the first step. Sitting on the counter Heero drank down the cool liquid, trying to decide what he was to do with the time he had, he needed something to keep himself from thinking too much.

***

Ash threw his car into park, and leaned forward onto the wheel so he could better see the building, which he had parked in front of. This was the very centre of the colony's government, it was where Dante had gathered those he could trust to uphold to laws he believed in. To Ash this building alone symbolised all that he fought to keep. This colony had become home to all those who found they could not relax into a peaceful nation, but that was not to say Dante allowed this to be a warlike state. It was merely easier for soldiers to relax around other former soldiers, knowing that there was not hidden hatred, no discomfort, and specifically no fear. 

He had hated the fear. Ash remembered the first time he had looked into another man's eyes, and saw fear, it had been clear then that he was not welcomed where he stayed, and he had searched this place out. Dante wanted to keep the peace, he like everyone else had sacrificed much to see these marvellous days, but he also wanted a voice. And that was something he did not feel anyone possessed while in the Earth Sphere Unified Nations. For a long time he had kept his feelings hidden, but now Ash could see all there hard work coming to a head, they had Relena, one of the final steps in their plan.

Whistling tunelessly to himself Ash exited the car and began to climb the wide marble steps, which lead to the ornate doors. The building was strangely structured of stone rather than the metal of most colonial buildings, giving it a feeling of antiquity. One knew they were standing in a position of power the moment their feet touched the slowly climbing steps. Ash lightly jogged up them, raising a hand in recognition of an acquaintance who was leaving. His open personality allowed Ash to befriend people quickly most felt very relaxed in his company; but he did not really consider all that many to be his friends. Oddly enough the one he felt closest to besides Dante was Heero, the only person to continually treat his friendship with disinterest. 

Even now Ash was still feeling shock over his recent revelations, his mind not wanting to accept the fact that Heero ever loved Relena. It seemed messed up in his mind, that any emotion even closed to love could be so callously pushed aside. If that was the case how could it be called love? Nevertheless Heero's violent reaction clearly told Ash, as strange as it may seem the small man did love her, but was forcing it all aside for some unknown reason. 

An easy smile lighted his face as Ash strode into the open foyer its polished stone floor glowing softly with the frosted lights, and the artificial illumination spilling through the stain glass windows. He turned that smile to the tiny girl seated behind the desk, busily talking into her headset. Samantha was her name, and she had devoted much time to Dante and himself, proving to be the best receptionist and secretary either had ever seen. It was not just soldiers who had come to call this colony home, but all misfits of society. Samantha had had a run in with the law, at one time in her life, and had not been able to shake the effects of such an experience anywhere but here.

"…Yes I'll give him the exact message the moment he's available," she told however was listening on the other line, before turning her own dazzling smile on Ash. "I'm glad to see you're back," she smiled all the more, leaning forward on the polished wood desk.

"Can't say how much I'm glad to be back," he returned the expression, "I take it Dante's is in?"

She nodded her head a small pout touching her pretty face, "Yes, would you mind brining this into him?" Samantha passed a small sheet of paper over to him, and he accepted it without question, not missing the subtle change in her personality.

Ash was fully aware that Samantha liked him, but he could not see why, not to mention he did not share the same interest as she. It at times made things difficult, but Ash found playing the oblivious usually saved him from the more difficult conversation topics. With a brief nod of his head Ash walked away from the desk, and made his way towards the far end of the foyer, all the while feeling the girl's eyes on him…on one particular part of him. Ash found this greatly disturbing, and did not know how Heero could ignore all the leering stares that followed him wherever he went, it was an effort to keep from running.

It was with some relief that Ash finally reached the door which lead to Dante's spacious office. Not bothering to knock, he simply ducked in. A rich chuckle awaited him, as his eyes landed on Dante. He sat relaxed behind his desk; chair turned to the side, and one hand resting upon the rich mahogany surface. His blue eyes sparkled with mirth; "You shouldn't let her get to you," he laughed.

"That woman's got no decency," Ash jokingly fumed, as he crossed the room to drop lazily down into one of the chairs. "Oh she gave me this for you," he tossed the paper across the table, and waited patiently as Dante read its contents.

"The princess is responding well, I had feared some form of reaction, but that doesn't seem to be the case," he told Ash eyes not leaving the simple sheet of paper.

"Is it really wise to have this information going through Samantha?" Ash questioned, he knew the message would be coded to some degree, but to him it just seemed to be an unnecessary risk.

Dante shrugged crumpling the paper and tossing it into the bin next to his desk, "Little updates such as these… there's nothing to worry about. I have a secured line here for the more important information, and they have runners if it comes down to that."

Ash nodded his head in silence, trusting to Dante's judgement, he had not led them astray yet, he would not now. He rubbed at his chin idly feeling the rough stubble beneath his callused fingers. "So how was he this morning?" Dante inquired, suddenly breaking the silence.

"He was charming," Ash said with a sarcastic smile.

"Were you able to learn what caused his reaction?"

All Ash could do for several moments was just nod his head, he knew this was doing little but peeking Dante's interest but he just could not put the thoughts to words, not since his first outburst. He racked a hand through his hair, "You're not going to believe this…" his almost whispered.

"Well not if you don't tell me," Dante prodded, turning his chair to face Ash fully.

"He's…" the hazel eyed man shook his head, and leaned forward in his seat, as if to suggest what was to be said needed to be kept secret, even from this empty room. Dante obliged leaning across his table to close the distance between them, "He's in love with her."

"What?!" Dante gasped in both confusion and shock. 

Ash threw himself back in his chair arms flying wide in an equally disbelieving gesture, "As crazy as it sounds, it sort of makes sense when I think about the odd way he's been acting of late." 

The other man continued to stare as though in shock, he was clearly having the same difficulties coming to terms with this revelation as Ash had. So he gave him time, using the silence himself to gather his thoughts, there was much now that they needed to know, though the answers were not likely something they could easily get. The rhythmic ticking of the ancient looking clock was the only sound to break the silence.

Dante slowly shook his head; "…So why did he shoot her?" it was a question directed more to the room, than Ash himself. 

"And that my friend is the million dollar question, one I doubt will ever get an answer too," Ash said with a sigh.

"But we need answers to at least some things," he shook his head," We know so little about him, and this more than ever show just how much we really need to know."

"I know better than anyone how difficult it is to get answers from Heero, he makes a rock look conversational," Ash chuckled dryly shaking his head.

Dante's head came up suddenly, "Will he endanger our plan?"

It was a serious concern that up until now Ash had not even considered, "Honestly I don't know…" he began leaning forward in his seat so both elbows were resting on his knees, with his fingers locked tightly together. "If I had only known he tried to assassinate her, I'd say we'd have nothing to be concerned about. But the fact that he loves her…" Ash spread his hands showing there was no way to be sure.

"hmmm…" Dante rocked his chair back slightly, "I think we'd do best to keep an eye on him, see what he does in the next few days."

"That won't be easy, Heero's one of the best hackers I know, I'm not sure we have someone skilled enough to monitor him without getting caught."

A tiny smile alighted Dante's features, "You already know there's no hard data anywhere about what we're doing. He'll discover that soon enough, then it's just a matter of seeing where he turns to next."

Dante stood from the leather chair, straightening his business suit unconsciously as he walked around his desk. Ash watched him carefully trying to read what he was thinking, but at times Dante could easily be as hard to read as the Japanese man they were speaking about. "I wonder if it would be possible to get him to come to us…" the blond haired man mused as he looked down on his friend.

"You mean, if you were to somehow let slip that you're the only one with the information he's looking for?" Ash stood at this feeling a spark of excitement form as Dante nodded his head. "And how do you suggest we do that?"

"A meeting perhaps?"

"No that would never work," the former soldier shook his head, "Heero's far to suspicious… he'll see it for what it is right away."

The taller man stroked his chin in thought, eyes distant; "Would he come to lunch?" 

Ash had to admit if only to himself that he felt sort of special, being the only one close enough to Heero to make these sort of judgements. Though that was not say much, Heero had avoided Dante almost from the beginning, of course never giving any reason for this needed distance. He considered the question carefully taking into account what he knew of his friend, "That might work actually, but we'd have to do it under the guise of a congratulation for a mission complete."

"And when should we do this?"

"Definitely not today," Ash informed him firmly.

"I take it he wasn't in the best of shape this morning," Dante smiled slightly at the 'you have no idea' face Ash was making.

"I called him in sick at work, so I think we'd best leave it till tomorrow."

Dante nodded his agreement, "And you're sure you can get him to come?"

"I'll do my very best," an evil grin touched Ash's face, "I have a few cards I can play against him if the need should arise."

"That's good to hear," Dante sat himself once more behind his desk, "I'll make the arrangements, let's hope this works." His voice was incredibly serious, and Ash knew exactly why, "He's a wild card in all this, and if we want to locate a Gundam pilot we certainly can't loose our only ace." Relena was everything to the mission, and until they gained the information they sought everyone would be balanced on the edge of a knife.

***

"…Heero?" a voice called to him as he walked down the halls towards his office. The building in which he worked was sprawling, filled with many different businesses catering to a number of the people's needs. Heero was just one among the many who came to this place day after day, and to some degree he felt comfortable within these large numbers, knowing he was easily forgotten as a part of the background.

"Hn?" he looked up, he had been aware of her presence, but had not been focused enough to know she had spoken to him.

'She' was Kim, a young computer technician who showed a great deal of skill in the work that she did, which had earned her Heero's respect, something that was incredibly hard to gain. Kim, like Ash, had made overtures of friendship from the very beginning, yet her reasons were far different from what Ash's had been. She was searching for something more than 'friends' something Heero was never going to give to anyone…not anymore…

He shook his head away from such thoughts, "What?" he asked, his voice colder than he had wanted it to be.

Kim hesitated for only a second, a tiny blush creeping into her features, "I just asked if you were feeling better?"

Heero stared at her quizzically not following her question, "You were sick yesterday…weren't you?" she asked, noting his confusion. He wanted to growl in frustration, but managed to contain it, his mind had been so caught up in other matters, that he had completely forgot Ash's lie. Heero had not even considered the fact that other workers might have received the news at some point during the day. He blinked realising Kim had started talking again, "…You've never been sick before, so I assumed it must have been serious."

He pulled a hand through his unruly hair, trying to with hold a sigh, as he studied Kim, not really paying all that much attention to what she had said. She was easily a full head taller than him, though he was not sure if she had ever noticed this, Heero knew his 'presence' was far greater than his small stature, and he wielded it without thought. All he really wanted right now was to make it, uninterrupted to his office, and work for the rest of the day. "Heero?" Kim called softly ducking her head slightly so she was better looking him in the eyes; it was an unconscious act, "Are you alright?"

There was true concern in her voice, which was the last thing Heero felt like dealing with right now. "Yeah I'm fine," he told her emotionlessly, and continued down the halls to where his office awaited him.

Once inside Heero closed and locked the door, further securing himself against other 'concerned' acquaintances. Most everyone who worked here knew he was not really the approachable type, they preferred to leave him to his solitary way of life, to which he was more than grateful. For several moments Heero simply stood leaning against the door staring at his large workspace. It was always a mystery when he came into work, having little to no idea before hand what would be required of him that day. Whether he would need to check the security of an implores online site, or their actual business, there was no telling when he would be commissioned to create the blueprints or actually build a needed device for the colony's ever growing population.

It was this wide variety of jobs that had first drawn his attention to what the colony had to offer. Heero liked the fact that so many of his natural and trained talents were being put to proper use, and the few that he could only use for killing were placed aside, having no purpose here. ~_except when you use them on a mission_~ he thought bitterly to himself, and sighed. Futilely he tried to push that thought away, and although it left without a fight, he knew in the end _It_ would win, because there was no telling what little innocent thought, would dredge _It_ up from hiding.

With a sigh Heero crossed the room, dropping down into the chair before his computer, leaning back he contemplated whether or not he wanted to check his messages and see what work there was for him. But despite his wanting to think of nothing other than work, Heero knew there was something far more important that he had to focus his attention on. He needed to find where Dante was holding Relena; he had to be able to keep an eye on the situation. 

Heero had known from the beginning what Dante wanted Relena for, he and Ash were on a search for one of the Gundam pilots. Yet any and all information about them had been carefully destroyed, and of those who had known them during the war, most had died, and those who still lived saw no reason to expose them. Heero was not about to just hand himself over to them, he wanted to know their plans first, but that was something Dante did not impart to his men. So he had gone along with the plan to kidnap Relena, knowing that she would be safest if he was involved.

The Japanese man leaned forward dropping his head into his hands. He knew Relena would not betray any of the pilots, not even himself. She may have hated him, but she still knew what sort of information he held within his head, the very peace could be destroyed with only him. Nevertheless Ash had at all times been positive that they would get the information that they so desired. How was what Heero wanted to find out. 

Striking a key on his computer, the screen lit up, and the search was on. Heero tried not to really dwell on what or more importantly who he was searching for. Still that was easier said than done; his mind taunted him seeming to enjoy his suffering, and all he could do was continue to harden himself against it. He had learned to live with all forms of torture, physical and mental; this would be no different. "I no longer care," he told himself coldly, his fingers flying upon the keys as he hacked his way through ever mainframe on the colony. Yet believing that statement was another matter altogether. 

He was not really aware of time's passage as he continued his frustrating search. There was no sign of her anywhere; it was as if Relena was not even upon the colony. Heero knew she was, knew there had to be some way of locating her. As the hunt wore on the former pilot began to feel a grudging respect forming in the back of his mind for Dante. The man had not made a single hard copy of his plans; he had left nothing to chance. However at the same time a growing fear began to eat away at him everything would hang in the balance until he could discover Relena's location, and the methods they were using to get information. He would not leave her in their hands if they might actually be able to gain a name.

The ring of his phone, snapped Heero from his deep thoughts, but for several seconds his fingers continued their intricate dance, as he refused to give in. His progress gained him no further results, and he halted with a growl. Removing the receiver from its cradle, Heero opened the line for audio only, not feeling like dealing with some face to face. "Yes?" he asked into the phone.

"Hey Heero," Ash's cheerful voice greeted him, "You feeling any better today?"

Heero's only response was a grunt, as he turned most of his attention back to the computer screen, and his frustrating quest.

"I'll take that as a yes. Look, I was hoping you'd have time in you busy schedule to come out to lunch with Dante and I," Ash continued getting right to the point.

"No I don't think so…" he responded, not at all in the mood for such an undertaking.

But Ash had clearly expected this, and was not about to give up so easily, "C'mon when was the last time you ate out? Hell when was the last time you ate a proper meal." His tone turned accusatory "I'll bet it wasn't this morning."

It was true, even if Heero refused to admit it; he had skipped breakfast, not really interested in putting out the effort. "Ash I don't have--"

"Don't tell me you haven't the time," he cut in quickly, "'Cause I know there's no one breathing down your neck, besides you're given a perfectly long lunch break, more then enough time to meet with us and get back to work."

Heero briefly considered hanging up the phone, but knew Ash would call back, and would keep calling, disrupting his work until he had agreed. It would only be for an hour, and perhaps he might be able to use the time to probe Dante for some answers, since the computer was turning up nothing at all. "Fine, where?"

"At the Tir N'an Og[1] it's a wonderful little pub, so don't worry about changing, do you know where it is?"

Scouring his memories, Heero searched out the pub's location, "Yeah I know how to get there."

"Good then we'll see you in a half hour," not waiting for the response that wouldn't come Ash simply hung up the phone.

Dropping the receiver back in its place Heero looked back the computer, there was really no point in starting further searches, if he had not been able to find her by now, there truly was nothing out there. But Dante had to know; Heero wished there was some way to ask the leader without drawing attention if he had a phoenix shaped brand on his chest. If there was just some way to know, Heero would be able to breathe a sigh of relief, as the Free Born had shone no tendencies towards violence. Nevertheless if Dante was not a member what did he need a pilot for? There were simply too many questions, that Heero could not ask.

***

At exactly noon, Heero found himself standing outside the Tir N'an Og, and he hesitated a moment before going in, eyes scanning the faces that passed him on the street. Despite the fact that this might be his only chance at gaining any significant information, Heero was uncomfortable with the situation. A very large part of him simply wanted to walk away, but he couldn't let himself do that, not when there were no other options open to him. Suppressing a sigh, Heero forced himself forward, climbing up the shallow steps to the open doorway. 

He was taken by surprise upon entering the pub, inside was a world different than the sterile metal of the building's outer wall. Great oak beams spanned the ceiling at even intervals, reflecting the subtle glow of fake kerosene lambs, which were the only lights about the large room. It felt to Heero as though he had actually stepped through time, and came out in old Ireland. The young man standing behind the bar offered him a welcoming smile as Heero stepped further in; he did not bother to return the gesture instead began to search out his friend. 

It was not hard to spot Ash and Dante where they sat around a table carefully situated in the corner, a reasonable distance from the others. Ash had been watching the door, and waved the moment Heero looked over. He offered no response to say he had seen them his eyes scanning the room's occupants memorising the faces and where they sat. It was a habit, which had been drilled into him since he was young and even now, three years after the war he could not relax, he was always watching. He noted absently that Ash and Dante had left him the seat against the wall, affording him a clear view of the room at all times. 

Both men came to their feet as he approached, Ash wore a large smile on his face, and Heero accepted Dante's offered hand, cobalt eyes studying his face intently. The leader of the Free Born hid his true intentions behind an impressive mask; one that rivalled Heero's leaving him with the daunting task of trying to decipher what he was truly thinking. For the first time Heero could actually see what others had to go through when talking to him. They seated themselves around the table in silence, all eyes shifting about looking to see who would make the first move at conversation.

The slightly uneasy silence was not broken by any of them however; rather a petite young waitress came to a stop at their table, politely asking what they would have. Dante and Ash were quick to answer, with both meal and drink; Heero took a moment to glance down at the menu resting in front of him, before speaking his order. The girl wrote it all down a smile playing on her lips as she did, and then looked up to Heero, "And what can I get you to drink?"

"Water," he told her without hesitation.

"You know Heero, they have a very fine rye here," Ash offered both elbows resting on the table and fingers locked before him.

"Just water, thank you," Heero said firmly, not taking his eyes off the girl. She nodded once her smile faltering ever so slight before disappearing behind the bar, taking their menus with her. 

Silence pervaded over the table, once the waitress had left, and Heero watched those sitting before him very carefully. They too, studied him both with an intense gaze. The question was, who would break the silence? Heero wouldn't, Ash knew him too well, and to start asking questions, would stick out in his mind as odd. "I hear from Ash, that it is you we have to thank, for brining Relena to the colony," Dante began easily, his voice at a careful level, quiet enough that it would not stray beyond their ears, yet still loud enough that others would not become suspicious.

Heero stared at him for a moment puzzled, but quickly realised what he was referring too; "I was just in the right place…" he said with a shrug.

"I'm surprised she had so few guards there," the Free Born leader commented leaning back casually in his chair, "I would have thought they'd leave nothing to chance."

"As far as they knew they had," Heero replied indifferently; "No one outside a very select group was supposed to know." 

"This concept of theirs intrigues me, when did they build the cottage?" 

"A little over two years ago," he told them easily, this subject was bordering on very touchy for him but he would not let that show if he could avoid it.

Dante nodded, "And it is self sustaining, is it not?"

"For all intense and purposes," Heero rubbed absently at his forehead, "The power supply, replenishes itself continually, but the food stores have to be restocked."

"The land doesn't really allow for farming now does it?" Ash put in with his relaxed smile.

Their conversation fell into a natural pause, and the waitress returned bearing their drinks on one hand. She placed them before each man, with an expert hand, offering Heero a supposedly dazzling smile before walking away.

Dante sipped at his drink, resting one elbow smoothly on the table as a look of pleasure overtook his features. "If you don't mind my asking, how is it that you knew of the cottage?" he looked up with his eyes not bothering to raise his head from the drink in his hand. There was a subtle shift in his tone, something that rang out clearly to Heero's ears, what Dante hadn't added was, _since that was after the assassination attempt._

"Skill," Heero breathed, with a dangerous note in his voice, something that brought out a smile on both men's faces. The silence returned as all turned their attention to the drinks they had, Heero let the ice cold water cleanse his throat, before he decided it was time he asked a question. "You've had Relena for a little over two days, has she given you any names yet?" it was an effort to keep his voice soaked in that low disinterested tone but somehow he managed. 

"Unfortunately no," he sat a little straighter eyes darting in the direction of the bar, as their waitress once more appeared with lunch. For such a private conversation it seemed strange to Heero that Dante and Ash would have chosen a public place, but both seemed unconcerned, and so he let it go. "Thank you," he said smiling disarmingly at the girl, she blushed a shade of red, but her eyes continually darted in Heero's direction. He paid her no mind, instead turning his attention to the plate of food in front of him.

He picked at the food without much interest, but upon seeing Ash's slight glare he decided eating would probably be for the best. At the very least his friend would not be able to cause a scene. "I told you she wouldn't volunteer any information," Heero began after a moment of silence.

"Yeah you did," Ash smiled at seeing the Japanese man eat, "But I'm still positive we'll get the answers we need."

Heero wanted to ask what their method was, that could make them so sure, however he already knew that would be a question they would not answer. Dante lowered his fork passing his napkin across his lips, "Would you mind if I asked you a rather personal question?"

He shrugged, "Go ahead, I may not answer it though."

"Why did you try to kill her?" Dante asked bluntly, though his eyes returned to his meal, as though it was not an earth-shattering question.

The former pilot did everything he could to keep from flinching, there was no way that Dante could possibly know what that question actually did to him. As far as he and almost everyone else was concerned, Heero had tried to kill her, and would do it again if given the chance. Everyone that was except for Ash, he resisted the urge to glance in his friend's direction. Instead he kept his face blank and calmly answered, "I had my reasons."

Dante looked at him for a moment, a tiny smile tugging at his lips; "I had a feeling that would be your answer, you know that's the question everyone would like an answer too--"

"I hope you're being careful with the information that Relena's on this colony, you've come too far and risked too much to lose it all now." Heero cut through what Dante had been saying, not wanting to hear anymore, he had come here to try and get some answers, not give them out. Nor did he want to delve into those memories, when he was sober. 

"Don't worry, everything's contained," he assured, "I'm the only one who knows her location."

Heero sighed internally; he had suspected something like that from the beginning, but had hoped there was something else. Anything would be easier than getting this information from Dante. He finished his meal in short order, his need for the conversation now at an end, and glancing at his watch he was relieved to see that he would need to be returning to his work shortly. Both Ash and Dante too seemed content with the silence, much to Heero's relief.

Pushing his chair back from the table Heero was a little surprised when Dante came to his feet ahead of him. He wore his usual welcoming smile, and extended his hand to the former pilot, saying; "We'll have to do this again sometime."

Nodding his head without words, Heero dreaded the thought, yet the chance to manipulate information from an inside source was something he simply could not pass up. He could deal with these lunch meetings as often as they came up, so long as he still needed Dante. With a brief nod to both men, Heero stepped around the table and left the pub, his mind puzzling over what he was to try next. With Dante openly admitting only he knew where Relena was, he knew there was not point searching for her, but perhaps he could find something, a tiny flaw in the plan. He seriously doubted the leader of the Free Born had thought of everything, there had to be a crack, a lead, anything. 

He would not give up, not until his mission was complete. 

[1] Tir N'an Og: [cheer na nohg] it's a nice little pub near where my brother is going to university ^_^ just had to use it. It means 'Land of Youth'

^_^ thanks for reading!!

** **

A Secret Revealed: 

"Yes?" he spoke with all calm into the receiver.

"_Sir we've made great progress today, she has given us the Gundam pilot 01. And may I suggest now a certain amount of caution is in order._" The technician told him his voice containing a strange note within it, that Dante could not quite place.

"I see," Dante responded, "And is it a serious problem?" 

There was no hesitation from the other man, "_Sir I'm not sure you'll believe this but, you're having lunch with 01._"

Dante's heart literally skipped a beat at that, and it was a great effort to keep himself from glancing in the Japanese man's direction. "Are you _certain_ you can find no other way?" he prayed his slight stress of certain would not be picked up by Heero.

"_Yes Sir_" the tech man told him, that note in his voice now becoming clear as disbelief, "_There is no mistaking, it was Heero Yuy that she gave to us._"

Morganeth Taren'drel


	9. A Secret Revealed

****

Mistaken Words

AN: Wow the reaction to the preview of this chapter was great ^_^ I think you'll all be surprised and perhaps a little horrified at the actual explanation. You'll also get a better idea of Dante's character, and a part of this chapter is from his point of view. Thank you all for reading ^_^ and thanks to Pious Knight for editing, if it wasn't for him this story wouldn't be here!

Katie: ^_^ your questions are all good ones. . .unfortunately answering them would mean giving away the story. But don't worry they will be answered soon ^_^ *laughs* and about the lunch meeting ^_^ do you have any idea how hard it is to write a conversation where both parties are trying to get information without seeming to be ^_^ it was great fun to write ^_^ I'm glad you liked it!

Morrighan of Crimson and Sable:^_____^ complicates it like you have no idea ^_~ thanks for the review

Mikito: Thank you so much ^_^ I hope you enjoy this one as much as the last!

Sweetangel4: If you ever get confused by the story feel free to email me and I'll explain as far as I can, something I'm sure you know are supposed to be confusing up until I explain them. ^_^ thank you for the review I hope you enjoy this chapter

Ramyh: ^_^ you're welcome! Ah yes, well for your first question this chapter will answer that so I won't spoil the surprise ^_^ as for the second. Dante said he was the only one who knew her secured location, but that doesn't mean she's alone there. . . ^_^ thanks!

Tiger Shinigami: thank you ^_^ and don't worry Duo and the others will be playing a part later in this story

Erinamation-limited2-nothing: btw ^_^ cool name! Thanks for the review, it's nice to know people are looking forward to the next chapters ^_~

Disclaimer: nope don't own

****

A Secret Revealed

Relena brought a hand up slowly to brush at her forehead, a sigh escaping her half-parted lips; she felt terrible, there was nothing to pinpoint the feeling on, she just felt sick. And she had been feeling this way for the last few days, it worried her slightly, but Relena had refused to dwell on it until now. It was difficult to hide this from the others, but somehow she had managed it, though she knew now that they would hear of it. She had had her secretary cancel all her meetings for that day, and if that news didn't making to her brother's ears, than she was not the former queen of the world. 

Pulling her heavy blankets up and around her, Relena settled back into her large canopy bed. She could not remember the last time she had a day to herself, one away from the press, and politicians, which surrounded her for most of the hours in a day. In a way it was nice to be away from them, but Relena quickly remembered why she had—for three years—tried to avoid such days. Her mind was given too much time to wander, to relive memories, she wished forever removed from her mind. It gave her time to think of him. . . 

It had been three years since she had seen him, and yet it felt like it had been so much less. He had entered her dreams of late, and it was those that felt so real. Relena had no idea what made her start thinking of him, it cause so much pain to remember what they had once meant to each other, only to relive the day that destroyed it all. She could clearly see his cold eyes staring at her from out of a soulless face in the deep night, and she shivered. That had been one of her dreams, so vivid she could almost believe it had happened. 

Relena burrowed deeper into her blankets suddenly feeling very cold, all her eyes wanted to see what him, and it hurt so much. 

__

I believed in you!

Those had been her words, Relena knew this but when had she spoken them? It felt so recent, and yet a lifetime away. It brought her to mind of one dear memory she had left buried, far from the reaches of her recollection during that difficult time. In her subconscious, Relena had wanted to preserve that memory as it had happened, and not let it become tarnished with his betrayal. Yet she seemed unable to keep it back, her mind wanting to correct that statement recently made.

~_"Heero. . ." Relena called his name softly, clutching her helmet close to her chest, as she stared up at the massive Gundam. Fear gripped her heart as she watched Heero disappear into the cockpit. "Wait Heero tell me why it's necessary for you to go too, Libra is going down there isn't any reason left to keep on fighting." Relena pushed herself off the floor, floating towards the still opened doors, when she received no answer from the pilot inside. "My brother Milliardo Peacecraft and the White Fang have been defeated," she tried to reason with Heero, as he seated himself glancing about the cockpit._

His deep eyes turned back to her, a almost half smile touching his lips, "I'll make you a bet," he said sardonically. "Zechs doesn't think that he's lost. What's more I doubt him or Treize are ever going to allow this battle to end."

"What?" Relena asked in surprise, somewhat shocked as Heero stepped forward from Zero and pull Relena to him.

"That's why I've got to go and fight them," he told her, staring directly into her eyes, a light in his own that she had never seen before.

Relena found herself slipping into those endless cobalt eyes, no longer the emotionless steel that she had come to know so well. "Do you really think if you go that the war is going to come to an end?" she questioned softly.

"I'll defeat Zechs and I'll go get Treize, then the war will be over," his voice was unnaturally gentle in comparison to his usual monotone. "Afterwards if you get out of here there'll finally be peace. This is the only thing I can give you."

"Heero. . ." she breathed his name feeling overwhelmed at the closeness they were sharing.

On his face a ghost of a smile lightened his chiselled features, "I promise that I will protect but in order to protect you and the earth sphere I have no choice bit to fight."

Relena wanted to shake her head in denial, "No. . ."

"Please let me fight."

"I won't, no way," Relena refused, a terrible fear gripping her heart the more she looking into those prussian eyes. "Heero you're planning to die aren't you?" it was a hurt accusation. Nothing on Heero's face changed as he shut the clear visor of her helmet, "Huh?" she questioned blinking in surprise.

"Believe in me. . ." he bade her, his voice so compelling, as he pushed her from the Gundam.

Relena was suddenly torn from her trance like state, as she was thrown in the low gravity, "Heero!" she called eyes never leaving Zero as the hatch closed, concealing the man she loved from view. Taking hold of the railing Relena watched as the massive Gundam moved to walk past her, "I do believe in you, yes I do."~

***

Ethan bit back a curse of surprise when the picture on his screen suddenly changed, revealing a long held memory just now floating to the surface. He was not alone in the massive room, and more than one head turned to consider him from where they worked. But he paid no mind to their questioning looks, unable to remove his eyes from what he was witnessing. 

They had had Relena for eight days, and had monitored her the entire time; shifting through her seemingly endless memories for one that would give them some much needed answers. Now seeing that very memory Ethan couldn't believe what his eyes were showing him, it all seemed too impossible. His brown eyes left the screen to scan the room, to look over Relena's tiny form among all the machinery and technicians. There was a soft hum, which filled the room surrounded the mind and encouraged sleep, yet Ethan had learned to tune it out and focus upon his work. However there were still times when it filtered through and began to grate upon his nerves, like the continuing crash of ocean waves.

This just happened to be one of those days; Ethan could feel the beginnings of a massive headache forming right between his eyes. He had been short tempered with everyone around him, much like a bear with a sore paw, at least that was the consensus among his peers. Now in light of all that had just been revealed to him, Ethan could hardly keep a crooked smile from his face. They had just been given their answer; the long wait was over. "We have a Gundam pilot," he announced drawing all eyes too him, as he focused once more on the screen, "And you'll never guess who it is."

***

Dante sat down at the private little booth, smiling with pleasure at the location. It was nicely sectioned off from the rest of the room, but not so secluded that he would not be able to see the waiter before he appeared at their table. He knew already that Heero would approve of such a choice, and anything that could put that young man at ease was to be used. Dante had been meeting him and Ash for the last week; they had made it a habit to have lunch each day. He was not at all sure how Ash managed to convince the Japanese man, but he had done such a good job that Heero was coming even now when Ash couldn't make it.

A frustrated sigh escaped Dante's lips as he leaned back in the padded leather seat. Every day was a new approach for gaining answers, but Heero dodged every one of them. He was running out of ideas, and still Relena had not given them a name. There was no telling what could go wrong if Heero discovered where she was; he was still unknown to Dante, and he was not supposed to have been for this long. 

The object of his dark musings came into view then, as solemn as ever; nothing showing in his dark cobalt eyes. Dante watched his movements carefully while rising from the table to offer his hand. There was a fluidity to Heero's movements, an almost perfect balance, something that few men attained through years of laborious training. To have achieved such a deadly grace at so young an age told Dante instantly that the Japanese man was not to be underestimated. There had to be a natural talent along with rigorous training for him to be so sure of himself. He was quite clearly the best soldier Dante had ever seen. 

Heero accepted the hand without a word, eyes flickering around the room, taking everything in, in one sweep. As the each took their seats, Dante noticed absently that Heero never fully relaxed, but at the same time he was not sitting on the edge of his seat ready to pounce, he was just ready…every muscle prepared for whatever could come his way. As much respect as that drew from Dante, he could not help but pity the young man. They had both lived through the war, and clearly seen their share of action, but that was about as far as the similarities ran. Dante had been more than happy to settle into a calm peace, whereas Heero still seemed to expect some attack on his life. That could easily have been impart to the fact that he was a wanted man, but somehow Dante did not think that was entirely the case. 

"Ash is not coming?" the Japanese man questioned, surprisingly breaking the silence between them.

"He did not call you?" Dante was taken aback by that, Ash was the only one who considered Heero a friend, and seeing them together that was not saying much. "Perhaps he thought you wouldn't come if he wasn't here," he joked lightly, and easy smile gracing his handsome face.

Almost nothing changed on Heero's face at that, but Dante thought he might have seen what would amount to a ghost of a smile. ~_Perhaps there's actually a friendship there. . ._~ he thought to himself, sharp eyes catching sight of their waiter as he strode calmly towards them. "He told me this morning that he wasn't feeling well, and would stay home," he offered as way of explanation, as he turned a welcoming smile on the waiter. 

"Good afternoon, are you gentlemen ready to order?" he inquired politely.

"We would like a moment," Dante spoke for the both of them, his eyes briefly resting upon Heero enough to see him nod. "But I would like some of you're best red wine." 

"Very good Sir," the man said making a note of that on a pad of paper he was carrying, "And you Sir?" his attention turned to Heero.

"Water."

That continually struck Dante as odd, Ash had told him of Heero's infrequent use of alcohol, and how far it went. But neither of them had ever seen Heero touch the stuff outside of one of those days. He was not sure if Ash had ever asked him about it, it was a curiosity to Dante but he couldn't very well ask himself; not without giving himself away as Ash's confidant. The waiter had left with another smile, leaving them to turn their attention to the elaborate menus resting on the table. 

"I must say I'm surprised, word has not yet leaked to the press that Relena is missing," he began casually watching from the corner of one eye to see if Heero gave any reaction to that.

"It's hardly surprising," he spoke up, voice lacking all emotion, it was deep and smooth something Dante supposed could be pleasant to listen to if only it sounded alive. "Une will be doing everything in her power to find her, but only so far as she can hide it from the press. The last thing they want is a world wide panic that the war is starting again."

"Well we certainly don't want that," Dante shuddered internally at the idea of another war, all those innocent lives lost. So many young and promising children had been sent off to their deaths, he like so many wanted nothing more to do with fighting. There was always another way to accomplish your goals, one that would leave everyone alive. 

Heero's eyes finally left the menu, and Dante signalled for the waiter to return bringing with him their drinks. Having already known himself from the beginning what he was going to have, they placed their orders, and with the man gone turned their attention to each other. Eyes scanning intently for several minutes, "Have you received a name?" the Japanese man inquired breaking the silence, that was the second time he had done that, and Dante did not miss the oddity of it all.

"Unfortunately no," he admitted softly.

"You've had her for over a week, and still nothing?" he sounded somewhat incredulous, obviously he had begun to believe their reassurances that no matter how long it took Relena would offer them a name.

He smiled, "One must have patience, we really have nothing to fear if this takes another three weeks," he pulled the number at random. "With Une hiding everything from the press, and your extraction perfectly concealing where she was taken, I really have nothing to fear," ~_Except you_~ he added silently.

"What method is it that you're using?" he asked sounding truly interested.

Dante knew he was searching for information, he only hoped Heero did not see the same thing in his questions. The meetings were akin to the most very difficult games of chess he had ever planned; he needed constantly to be ahead of his opponent, but could not seem to see what he was thinking. He leaned forward on the table peripheral vision constantly watching for the coming waiter, "It's a form of virtual reality where we can actually search through the persons memory, cause them to relive something that had happen. . .even ten years back."

He leaned back as the man returned bearing their meals; he offered a thank you, while Heero remained silent eyes not leaving Dante's face. For a moment Dante merely ate, savouring the elaborate flavour of the food, and watched as Heero picked at his without too much interest. "Relena played such an integral role in the war, it is of course assumed that she had some form of communication with the Gundam pilots, we're positive that her memories with give us the identity of at least one of them."

"Hn, I'd be interested in seeing this system in action," Heero admitted quietly, nothing unusual showing on his face, he was too good to make an amateur slip like that.

Yet this was the closest he had ever come to admitting he wanted to know where Relena was being held, and Dante was not going to lose this opportunity. "What is your relationship with Relena?" he asked bluntly, his mind racing three steps ahead, preparing answers to any number of responses the other man might give. 

"Excuse me?" Dante was impressed; he actually managed to sound surprised.

"Please forgive me," he placated; "But considering what I know of your background with her, I would not have thought you would hold such an interest in her." 

Heero opened his mouth to give his response when Dante's cell phone suddenly rang, interrupting their conversation. Instead of being irritated as he would have been at any other time, Dante's heart jumped, as the cell phone he was carrying had only one use, and one time to be used. He schooled his features carefully offering the man across from him an apologetic look. Heero simply shook his head, and signalled with a raised hand that Dante should answer it. Pulling the small black object from his pocket, the Free Born leader tried to contain his excitement.

"Yes?" he spoke with all calm into the receiver.

"_Sir we've made great progress today, she has given us the Gundam pilot 01. And may I suggest now a certain amount of caution is in order._" The technician told him his voice containing a strange note within it, that Dante could not quite place.

"I see," Dante responded, "And is it a serious problem?" 

There was no hesitation from the other man, "_Sir I'm not sure you'll believe this but, you're having lunch with 01._"

Dante's heart literally skipped a beat at that, and it was a great effort to keep himself from glancing in the Japanese man's direction. "Are you _certain_ you can find no other way?" he prayed his slight stress of certain would not be picked up by Heero.

"_Yes Sir_" the tech man told him, that note in his voice now becoming clear as disbelief, "_There is no mistaking, it was Heero Yuy that she gave to us._"

"Alright, well leave it alone for now, and when I'm done here, I'll look over what you have and see if this cannot be salvaged." With that he hung up, replacing the phone in his pocket, and turning his full attention back to the small Japanese man, the man who half the world had feared. ~_This is a Gundam pilot?_~ he thought in wonder, looking at the young man with newly opened eyes. Despite the shock of it all, Dante did have to admit that it made sense, yet even as some questions were answered more came. He had know from the beginning that they were searching for a Gundam pilot, he had even helped in taking Relena because they felt she would know. Why not just reveal himself? Why was he hiding?

Taking a calming sip of his red wine, Dante watched the deep hue of the liquid as it swirled about the crystal. "Forgive me for that, but where were we?" he queried placing the glass once more on the polished wood table. 

"You were asking a rather forward question," Heero informed coldly.

Dante smiled slightly at that keeping his eyes firmly on the former pilot; ~_If you loved her why shoot her? Why give her over to us? Unless you hoped to be able to protect her. . .it must just kill him that he can't find her_~ "Perhaps it is forward, but does it really matter if there is nothing there?" he thought it a legitimate question, Heero's look seemed to imply otherwise. 

"There is nothing between us, and never was. I guarded her for a year, the rest you know," his voice was deadly, had Dante not known what Ash told him he might have believed his words to be true. However now he could see them for what they really were, but did it even matter anymore? Relena had given him up there was no need to hide her from him. . .in fact she could still be used to their advantage. 

"Indeed I do. . ." he agreed softly, "Well if you truly are interested in the VR process, and considering your field of work, I can see why you would be. I can arrange for you to see," he sipped the wine again, noting that Heero's meal had been all but forgotten. "As much as Une wants to keep her disappearance from the public, so too do I want to keep it from this colony. Only my most trusted men even know that she is here, and not even half of them know where she's being held."

Heero nodded in understanding, "I wise safety precaution."

"There is a rather small bunker built into this colony, with its own power source and no outside communication capabilities, it is about as self sustaining as the cottage Relena was staying at. It is there that we are holding her," he offered the Japanese man a smile, "A good deal of your research went into it's construction, I can well understand if you'd be interested in seeing it."

"I would be interested. . ." Heero admitted simply.

"Good, we'll have to arrange a time for that, but if you will excuse me, there is a little matter I must take care of. I left a few people to draft new legislation, and they've stumbled upon a problem with the wording that they don't seem capable of solving for themselves." He folded his napkin onto the table eyes glancing up at the clock on the wall, seeing that it was around the usual time they went their separate ways so nothing would seem amiss. Heero nodded mutely pushing his chair away from the table.

Dante offered him a smile, "I'll be in touch, have a good day," he accepted Heero's offered hand, shaking it firmly.

"You too," was the monotone reply, "I'll get the bill on this one."

"Thank you," Dante was smiling as he stepped around the table and walked from the restaurant, nodding to several people that he passed. He had tried his hardest to make himself approachable to the people of his colony, yet today he prayed for no delays. All he wanted was to make it back to his office and contact Ash; this was information that could not be contained to just himself. 

Thanks for reading ^_^

****

Alone With Regret:

"…Hee…ro…" the name escaped her lips in a breathy whisper. It was so quiet he had barely caught it, and at the same time so expressive it tore him apart. There was too much pain and regret, like he had never heard before; such hope and longing just beside the anger and hate. 

A harsh shudder raced through him and his fingers fumbled in their careful work. Halting, Heero rested his hands on the padded bed, eyes locking upon Relena's face despite his best efforts to remove them. Little in her appearance had changed as refreshing liquid entered her body, but to him she was still beautiful. Though now far beyond his grasp. He had to keep telling himself that, reconciling himself with the path he had chosen, with the only life he could lead. 

His body's decent was so slow at first that Heero had not even noticed it was moving of its own free will. Blinking he found himself mere inches from Relena's sleeping face, but it was too late to pull back, too late to try and save himself. He wet his lips in anticipation of that special contact he had not shared with another soul, that he had not known he was capable of before meeting her. Their lips touched ever so gently, and Heero's eyes fell closed savouring the memory as there could be no feeling here…only the memories of what had been lost.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	10. Alone With Regret

****

Mistaken Words

AN: I want to thank everyone for all their support, you guys make writing so worth while! Also I'd like to apologise in advance for any delays this story may experience in the near future, things are going to be getting a little hectic the closer we get to Christmas. And due to a flashback in a later chapter which took me forever to write I'm a little behind in my writing. Hopefully I'll be able to stay ahead I just wanted everyone to know, in case a chapter was a couple of days late.

Mikito: ^_^ I'm so glad a chapter of my story could brighten your day! I don't know if I could properly describe just how much that means to me to hear. Thank you!

Erinamation-limited2-nothing: ^_^ yep that about sums it up nicely, thanks for the review!

Sweetangel4: Thank you, I'm glad it all makes sense for you now, and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Dragon Faere: ^_^ your wait is over! And thank you for the compliments, they mean so much to me ^_^

Merlyn1382: thank you! Here's the next chapter I hope you enjoy it! ^_^

Raksha: thank you! No worries about finishing it, the chapters I'm working on now have never been written before. . .that's because I started writing a little later on, and the story is finished. . .at least in the hand written form.

Katie: ^_^ *laughs* yes Dante was an interesting character from the start. . .the phone call idea I believe came from my friend neekabe ^_^ we though it would make for some great fun! Thank you so much!

Morrighan of Crimson and Sable: ^_^ I hope not so complicated that it takes away from the story, any questions you have feel free to ask. . .not sure how much I can say ^_^ but I will do my best. Thank you

Ramyh: Thank you so much for your continued support! ^_^

Disclaimer: Don't own the show!

****

Alone With Regret

Heero glanced about his early morning surroundings, pleased that the large hanger was almost completely empty of all staff. He had wasted no time upon leaving his lunch with Dante to begin searching for her yet again, this time with the information he needed to actually find her location. There were only a few places on this colony that Dante could hide such a place, and it had not taken him long to narrow down the field to this hanger. It was the very same one their shuttle had landed in. There was a small service hatch neatly hidden away in the back right corner of the huge room, it was down there that Relena was being held.

He rested in the shadows, waiting for the way to be clear, his every sense heightened and aware, as the familiar feel of the mission and adrenaline washed over him. Keeping his back to the cold metal wall Heero slid through the shadows, ever watchful for any who might spot him. He had made his way through tighter security before without being noticed, this was basically a walk in the park. A deep seated anger smouldered in Heero's soul, one that was mostly directed at himself. . . Relena had been in their VR for far to long, if she hadn't yet given them a name, it was only a matter of time until she did.

Dropping down into a crouch behind a huge storage crate, Heero pulled forth his gun, and checked the clip of small darts. He had made a promise four years ago, one he had no intention of breaking anytime soon. It was just as easy to render his opponent's unconscious as it was to kill them, certainly it was more dangerous, as there was always the chance of them coming around and taking you from behind. But it was a chance Heero was willing to take, he hated the feel of blood on his hands, it was something he had learned to live with, yet by no means wanted to add to.

Heero quickly replaced the gun in the waistband of his pants, he had never become accustom to wearing the holsters, it was just one more thing he had to dispose of before being seen. The fact that he was so small had been a great advantage during the war, he was easily overlooked because of it, but an empty gun holster would have brought more attention than he'd wanted. His hands felt about in the shadows for the latch, he had already carefully disabled the lock, and had set a computer virus to sweep through the computer program systematically shutting down each obstacle just before he reached it, and returning it seconds after he passed.

With the doorway opened Heero was now under a time limit. He had looked over the schematics he could find carefully, gauging the distances, and time which route he would take as best he could. As it was he had not left himself much of a window for error, he simply had to get in as quickly as possible. Out was an entirely different matter, he would be in control of the system once inside and there would be no one to stop him. The trickiest part was going to come when he had to unhook Relena from the system.

There had not been all that much information anywhere on what Dante was using, but he knew already simply from what he had said, that it would have to be carefully done. The fact that it was working with her memories told Heero there had to be a definite connection with the brain, that part he fully intended to take out slowly. 

There was no hesitation as Heero dropped down into the darkness below, landing lightly on his feet in a defensive crouch. The dimly lit hall was devoid of all life; he could hear nothing besides the hum of the colony itself, it was a droning sound he hardly noticed having lived on a colony for most of his life. He had been surprised when he was on earth that he found himself missing the constant noise. With eyes watching everything Heero moved forward, drawing his gun, holding it before him expertly in rock steady hands, finger ready to dispatch the first man he saw. 

He had no idea how many men Dante had working down here, but he was surprised when the minutes continued to pass, and he made his steady trek down the corridor without being challenged. Prussian orbs glanced at his watch seeing the careful count of time, and nodded to himself, he was right on time. He slipped through the well-lit area like an unseen shadow, his presence cloaked by virus slowly crawling through the system. 

Edging his way to sharp corner, the former pilot carefully glanced around, surprised to see a huge room open out before him. Nothing he had managed to find on the computer had even hinted at this room. He wondered what it was for; it seemed rather empty now, though the broad catwalks and scaffolding reminded him of the hangers that he had used for his Gundam during the war. His sharp eyes caught the movement of one man patrolling the area. Heero didn't feel the term guard applied, as the man was not even armed, all he carried was a small radio.

On feet as silent as death, Heero crept up behind the unsuspecting man, he moved as close as he dared before firing a dart. The drug was a fast acting one, so fast that the man was unconscious before he knew he had been hit. Heero had brought himself as close as he could to catch the limp body, with such a large open space and empty halls, the sound of a body falling would echo forever. Slowly lowering the unconscious man the former pilot kept his eyes scanning the room searching for any more men.

Satisfied that he was still alone and unnoticed, he pressed on, still working under the constraints of the virus. He was grateful for the fact that Dante had not seen fit to add useless side tunnels which would lead him nowhere. The set up was simple and to the point, leading him to the central room where Relena waited, completely unaware of the true world around her. From the limited knowledge that he had, Heero guessed he was nearing his target, and would be coming across more of Dante's men. He could not waste that much time, for fear of falling outside his window of unknown movement. 

The hall rounded an easy corner following the contours of the colony, and Heero's eyes locked upon his destination. Everything led to this one door. There were a number of other doors lining the corridor, but he could recognise them for what they really were, the sleeping quarters of the technicians. It was this one door, slightly larger than the rest and equipped with a security key panel that would take him to Relena.

Heero took his time; not passing a single door without first opening it, and firing a dart at any who might have been in the room. He certainly did not want any one walking in on him while he was trying to unhook Relena. The only sound made was the soft thud of bodies dropping, no one had time to shout in surprise before they too had succumb to the drug induced blackness. Heero saw surprise in the men's eyes, those that actually managed to lay eyes upon him before it was too late. And he recognised a few of them, was even sure he had worked with one or two during his three years on the colony, but none of that mattered now.

The small red light right above the keypad flashed green just as Heero reached the door and his hand took the handle with satisfaction. Pushing the door open, the former pilot walked in, gun aimed before him, ready to fire at the first thing he saw. He took the room by storm, eyes making a fast sweep of the expansive area, pausing only long enough to dart them before moving on to the next. The last man had just jumped from his seat in shock when he too fell.

A strange half silence filled the room, as the air was now lacking the subtle noises of other humans. Yet the artificial voices of the vast amount of machinery about the room still sung of their unending tasks. And it was then in those first few moments of odd solitude that Heero allowed himself to lay eyes upon Relena.

She lay upon a padded table both arms and legs shackled in place, against her body's subconscious movements. Wires and tubs rested everywhere, in a sort of organised chaos; one he felt daunted with just looking at. Her features were pale and drawn, her eyes slightly sunken as though she were dehydrated. His prussian eyes moved instantly than to one of the two IVs running to her arms. The closer of the two appeared filled with a bluish liquid that was dripping steadily into her right arm. And the other; the one that seemed to be nothing more than life sustaining saline, did not appear to be doing very much at all.

Taking in all that was before him, Heero did not like what he was seeing. Dante had mentioned the drug but had never given it name or side effects. Though from the looks of it, the substance didn't work unless the patient was dehydrated. He reached out instantly, fully intending on rectifying this situation, but stopped himself. There was no telling what effect that could have on Relena if he was not careful.

It was an effort to turn his back on her and walk across the room to one of the many computer consoles there. He tried hard not to truly think to deeply about this, reminding himself that any hopes he had once had were obsolete. Relena had made that very clear. The only reason he was doing this was to protect himself and the other pilots. The information they held in their heads was something that could never get into the wrong hands; and there was simply know way of knowing if Dante was 'right' or 'wrong'. 

His fingers flew across the keys and his eyes skimmed all the information that the screen had to offer, taking it all in, in half the time it would a normal man. Shoulders twitching Heero found himself half turned and eyes on Relena before he even realised he was no longer looking at the screen. She looked so vulnerable lying there unaware, trapped within a world of dreams. . .that were perhaps more nightmares now than anything she'd really want to remember. The Japanese man found himself considering a few of the 'special' moments they had shared together, and a gaping wound opened within him, gnawing at his very soul.

Heero growled "There's no going back now!" he barked in harsh tones, though there was none to hear him. Striding back to Relena face set as though made of stone, the former pilot reached for the IVs knowing now that it was crucial that he begin re-hydrating her immediately. A glare overtook his features when he finally took note of the tremor in his limbs as they worked over Relena. He swallowed his frustration and willed them to steady, he did not have the time for this. But the harder he tried to simply concentrate on merely unhooking the fragile girl before him, the more Heero found himself staring with a pained expression, of great loss.

". . .Hee. . .ro. . ." the name escaped her lips in a breathy whisper. It was so quiet he had barely caught it, and at the same time so expressive it tore him apart. There was too much pain and regret, like he had never heard before; such hope and longing just beside the anger and hate. 

A harsh shudder raced through him and his fingers fumbled in their careful work. Halting, Heero rested his hands on the padded bed, eyes locking upon Relena's face despite his best efforts to remove them. Little in her appearance had changed as refreshing liquid entered her body, but to him she was still beautiful. Though now far beyond his grasp. He had to keep telling himself that, reconciling himself with the path he had chosen, with the only life he could lead. 

His body's decent was so slow at first that Heero had not even noticed it was moving of its own free will. Blinking he found himself mere inches from Relena's sleeping face, but it was too late to pull back, too late to try and save himself. He wet his lips in anticipation of that special contact he had not shared with another soul, that he had not known he was capable of before meeting her. Their lips touched ever so gently, and Heero's eyes fell closed savouring the memory as there could be no feeling here. . .only the memories of what had been lost. 

Only seconds passed before the former pilot was jarred back to reality, and tore himself back, eyes dead. ~_What am I doing?!_~ he thought in disgust, raking a hand through his hair trying to even out his breathing. He knew he had to finish fast, the longer he took the more chance someone would awake from the drug, and come looking for him. However it was an uphill battle to focus his thought on the task at hand, Heero threw himself fully into what he was doing. He worked quickly at turning off all the necessary machinery, careful not to remove anything until it was all safely shut down.

What he had to be so careful of was the small electrode which had been inserted into the soft flesh behind her right ear, and carefully fed up into her brain. That was how Dante's men had gained access to her memories. . .all of her memories. All he could hope now was that she had managed to guard the most important ones. With a hesitant hand Heero took hold of the almost hair thin wire and began to draw it with the utmost care. It was one of the last things that still connected Relena to the dream world she had been trapped in for over a week. 

The clank of a boot on the metal grating caught Heero's attention and he spun around to face the door, one hand reaching for the gun, though he already knew it was useless. He had almost used up both clips making his way in here, depending on how many men were approaching, he might be able to take out one or two before they overpowered him. The door slowly opened and the Japanese man found himself unconsciously lowering himself into a defensive crouch. A single man appeared in the opening, tall and burly, but surprisingly not bearing any open form of arms.

This caused Heero a moments pause, but he was by no means put at ease. The man's dark eyes scanned the room for a brief moment before coming to rest on the former pilot. "Heero Yuy," he almost seemed to question, "Dante would like to speak to you." The man turned as if to leave the room, appearing to assume Heero would follow, and as he stepped passed the doorway, the Japanese man caught sight of others.

His mind raced, trying to decide what it was that Dante could want, and how he had known to look here. His presence should have gone completely unnoticed, as there was no external connection to this secret bunker. . .unless. Heero's eyes shot about the room searching for the bugs that must have been planted there. Had Dante suspected this? If he had, why had he let him go through with it? What was he up too? Heero's eyes flickered to Relena's prone form, completely unaware even of his proximity, which he quickly decided was a good thing. 

"Mr Yuy?" the man called from the doorway, Heero filtered the voice through his mind searching for anything besides what he was hear, which was a calm patience, a politeness even. Not at all what he expected, when he had first heard the misplaced footstep. 

Heero's feelings were mixed as he stepped away from Relena. On the one hand he was grateful to be away from her, and the hallow pain she caused. Yet it made him a little more than uneasy to leave her there where he memories were open for anyone to see. It was curiosity that finally drove him to follow the men, curiosity at what Dante was thinking, at what he had planned. He had only once before met a man who he could not see clearly through, and it was eerie now to see just how many similarities Dante held with Treize. 

As he stepped out into the hall, a few of the men waiting there slipped in to the room he had just vacated, moving instantly to Relena's side. Unconsciously he stiffed, face falling into an ice hard glare. "Dante said she will be well taken care of," the man spoke as though reading his mind, and Heero's glare only darkened. 

He said nothing in response only walked forward between the two men, dwarfed not only by their height but also their broad build. Something told him there had been no coincidence in the selection of these men to 'escort' him to Dante. Heero watched them warily but continued to walk with them, not feeling a true threat from their presence. 

It did not take them nearly as long to exit the hanger as it had for Heero to enter, and he was somewhat surprised at the passage of time. What had before been almost empty was now bustling with life, as shuttles were being repaired and upgraded, readied for take off, and he was fairly sure that one had only recently landed. No one seemed to pay the three men any mind as they crossed the open expanse and left the hanger behind them. Heero was led to a black car which had been left out front, a third man waiting in the driver's seat who started the engine the moment they came into sight.

Heero was not altogether comfortable with being forced to sit between the two men, but they did it in an almost unconscious way and the fact that they were taking to Dante did ease him a little. Through the corners of his eyes Heero studied the men, listing in his mind all the pressure points that were available to him should the need arise. The car pulled away with all speed, navigating its way through the colony streets without hesitation. Silence reigned over the car and all who road inside, leaving Heero's thoughts to tumble about his head trying to draw up an answer to what Dante was thinking.

Thankfully the distance between Dante's office and the hanger was not that great, yet by the time the car had reached the impressive stone building Heero had begun to feel unease. His mind had settled upon a few possibilities, and he didn't like any of them. However by now it was too late, all he could do was ride with it, and see for himself. He was ushered from the vehicle without a word, and lead into the building, past the secretary and right to Dante's door. The two men stopped a few feet away clearly signalling that they would be going no further, but that Heero was to continue on his own.

The Japanese man didn't even spare them a glance, but strode forward and walked in. Dante was seated behind his massive desk, elbow resting upon its polished surface, and head upon them, eyes focused intently on where Heero would be entering. He met the man's heavy gaze without a word pushing the door closed behind him and stepping a little closer. There was an odd light shinning in those eyes, one Heero could not name, nor liked the look of. 

A wan smile touched Dante's features as he came to his feet, "Please take a seat, Pilot 01."

The former pilot stiffened at the name OZ had branded him with, eyes like daggers piercing into Dante's mind, but finding nothing. Relena had given him up. That thought crashed home, and with it some answers to his many questions. A strong part of Heero wanted to bolt just then, he had never intended for them to discover who he really was, but at the same time he wanted to know that which Dante had not revealed to anyone. Why he wanted a Gundam pilot.

"You didn't think we knew, did you?" he questioned in what almost constituted for friendly tones. Heero remained silent, having nothing to say to that. Dante stepped about his desk folding his arms across his chest. "You knew we were searching for a pilot," he continued taking a seat on the edge of his desk, "You assisted in the hunt. . .why not just tell us?" he asked finally.

"_You_ refused to explain why you wanted a pilot. Do you really think me fool enough to just hand myself over?" he forced his posture to remain relaxed, even as he was preparing every part of him for whatever was to come next. 

The taller man nodded, "It's a valid point," he conceded. "The reason we've been searching for a pilot these last three years, is we want a Gundam--"

"No!" he cut him off sharply.

"You haven't even heard me out," Dante protested.

"The answer will still be no. After all the lives that were lost to attain this peace, I will not help bring back a weapon that could destroy it!"

"Destroy it?!" The Free Born leader barked a laugh, "Have you forgotten three years back you yourself attempted to destroy that peace, by assassinating the very woman you just tried to save?"

Heero could keep himself from flinching at that, Dante did not know everything about what had happened. But for all Relena knew, it might as well have been as the man had said. He brought the full weight of his glare to bear, but the other man seemed unaffected, it was a credit to his bravery. "That had been a puzzlement to me of late I must admit," Dante broke the silence seeing that Heero was going to add nothing. "What made you decide she had to die? I've heard rumour that you care for her. . ." he trailed off.

~_Ash!_~ he thought darkly, it shouldn't have surprised him that he had been reporting back to his boss. And it made him wonder if all that talk of friendship had been nothing more than a means to an end. Heero did not want to consider Dante's words, there was no point dwelling on that past, what was done could certainly not be undone. . .not anymore. "What do you want?!" he demanded bluntly, wanting nothing more than a subject change.

This was not missed to Dante but the man only raised and eyebrow; "I told you I want a Gundam--"

"I know that!" he broke in again, "Why? I thought you were a man who hated war!" he spat that like an insult.

"I do," was the calm agreement, "But I also hate being overlooked, and as things stand among the colonies that all that I can see in our future." He stood taking a few steps closer to the pilot who he towered over. "What I propose is a way that we can declare our independence while still maintaining the peace."

"Last I looked a Gundam was not a means to that end," Heero told him dryly.

Dante nodded what appeared to be agreement, "I merely intend to destroy the Gundam as a sign of our solidarity. To show the Earth's Sphere that we are willing to destroy a tool of war, instead of using it to gain the freedom that we desire." Pausing for a moment he watched Heero as if to see that the former pilot was following his line of thought. "It is my hope that they will see we are serious but at the same time not against them."

Heero was not impressed, "I understand Quatre is an understanding man, why not simply bring your complaints to him?"

"It is not the desires of these people that we remain a part of this coalition, it has only been my goal to attain our separation."

"And you think a Gundam is the answer?" Heero questioned an eyebrow raised.

"I'd ask you to suggest something better, but be sure, whatever you may be considering has already been attempted without success." His voice was as smooth as Heero had ever heard it, he had take a great deal of time to considered this from every angle. Yet Heero had to doubt his words and their truth, there was simply no way—short of asking—to knowing whether or not a phoenix shaped brand adorned Dante's chest. And he certainly was not about to turn the knowledge in his mind over to such a man.

"I won't give you Zero," he told him simply.

"I'm afraid we're completely prepared for your refusal."

"Are you sure you haven't made the same mistakes your predecessors did when dealing with Gundam Pilots?" Heero was ready for anything, adrenaline had already been coursing through his system for sometime, and it was becoming a slight effort to remain as he was simply standing.

A touch of concern entered Dante's features then, "Make this easy for yourself, Heero, please."

"You know I won't."

"Then you leave me no other option, I'm sorry," he truly did sound remorseful.

Heero was turning towards the door even as he saw Dante's reach for a small switch on the table. His gun was out in a heartbeat, and as the door opened he fired off the last two shots dropping the two men who had escorted him into the building. Tossing the useless weapon aside, Heero bolted from the room, with a single thought racing though his mind _Escape!_ No matter what he could not allow himself to be caught.

The large foyer, which had stood next to empty when Heero had first come through, was far from it now. He noted absently that the young secretary was nowhere in sight, not surprised that Dante would want to keep her way from this. It said something to the man's thinking that he had prepared for this. But it was still not enough, Heero couldn't let it be enough, these men were coming at him unarmed, they could not afford to be shooting at him yet there was a chance that they could overpower him. His eyes locked upon the artificial light spilling in through the glass doors, that was his goal, and not an army of men was going to keep him from it.

The former pilot dove into the thick of things, his body a blur as he stuck with both arms and legs at the men who sought to surround him. With yet another rush of precious adrenaline, Heero could feel nothing but the roar of the fight. He stuck with precision, every punch and kick meant to drop someone for the duration of the fight; he could not afford to waste time with needless blocks and pretty attacks. Everything was raw, untamed, what rested at the core of every human being, those animal like instincts that could raise them above their opponents.

Heero's small stature was a great asset in a situation like this, as the men around him were striking each other as often as him. Agility on his side Heero used one of the men as a springboard vaulting into another and taking them both to the ground. The former pilot heard the man's head crack of the marble, and his eyes rolled up into back of his head. Without wasting a second Heero was on his feet again racing for the now opened doorway, he raced across the distance as though carried by wings, his body feeling nothing of the beating it had taken.

It seemed a miracle to him when he had gained the door, and the freedom that it offered. His pupils dilated with the amphetamines racing through his veins would not adjust to the sudden brightness, and he winced. Looking through slightly blurry eyes Heero's cobalt orbs landed upon a solitary figure standing on the steps, the last person to stand in his way.

"Ash. . ." he breathed. For the first time feeling a pang of regret. He could not quite explain where it came from; he was not really betraying them as he had the other pilots. But for some reason it had the same feel to him no matter how he tried to quell it. "Get out of my way!"

"You know I can't. . ." he responded, voice sounding slightly unsure, as he looked up at the man who had just single handily taken out fifteen men. 

The former pilot knew he could take out Ash if it meant the difference between freedom and being caught. So why was he just standing there? 

His moment of hesitation was all they needed, riding the wave of emotions. Heero was aware of his surroundings, but the shock of seeing Ash had for a brief second blinded him. Torn back to the present as the syringe was pulled from his arm Heero could feel the drug course through his system. For the briefest second he hoped the adrenaline would be enough to counter whatever it was that he had been given. It was a futile hope; Dante had prepared for everything.

Stumbling forward Heero clutched at his head with one hand, trying to clear his mind by sheer force of will. The battle was a loosing one, and he found himself dropping forward, into Ash's arms and the blackness beyond. The last thought that pasted his clouded mind was one of his failure.

Thanks for reading!

To Glimpse A Tortured Soul:

Dante's attention moved to the IV bag dripping a steady flow of bluish liquid into Heero's right arm. Reaching up he touched the bag, turning it one way, than the other as he considered its contents. Adnolprinaminiphen, was a drug created many years ago, but quickly abandoned when it did not meet the standards set at the time. Because of this, the drugs full potential had never been reached. It had been Dante's good fortune, that a scientist on the colony had been doing some intensive research on the drug. And quite by accident discovered this little uniqueness about it.

It was not a drug to be taken lightly; there had been good reason for its shutdown all those years back. The drug was highly addictive, and the withdrawal symptoms harsh, and since it showed the best results when the patient was dehydrated the medics were continually walking a fine line. There had not been such a worry over Relena; she had not been in the system long enough to start worrying about the consequences of re-hydrating her only to dehydrate her again. Dante had reviewed everything concerning these side effects, wanting to make sure that everything would be done to keep Heero from suffering from any. 

Yet it really didn't matter how careful any of them were, the road to recovery from this procedure would never be a pleasant or easy one, for any who were put through it. It had been by no means easy for Dante to decide on this method, but the needs of his people had stood above everything. And he truly felt that in the end, no permanent harm would befall either Relena or Heero. His thoughts turned then to the princess, now resting in a more comfortable room, it was his intention to send her out on a shuttle along with her guards, soon within the next few hours. He wanted her to be back in the proper hands soon.

AN: ^_^ 50 points to whoever can tell me where I got the name for the drug! I'll give you a hint, it certain isn't an actual drug. ^_^ It's something my brother came up with for me. Think about it, and see what you can get! 

Morganeth Taren'drel


	11. To Glimpse a Tortured Soul

****

Mistaken Words

AN: I'm so sorry that this chapter has taken so long, I'm not sure what's happened to my editor right now. At first I thought the delay was simply that I had sent the chapter to him during exam time and shortly after that there was Christmas. But I still haven't heard from him, so I've asked neekabe to give this chapter the once over so that I can give it to all of you, who have been so patient with me. Unfortunately I don't think I'll be able to update weekly like I was at first. . .at least not until I've fingered out what's going on with Pious Knight. So please continue to bare with me ^_^

And I'd like to congratulate Dragon Faere, and sweetangel4 ^_^ you both won fifty points ^_^ for being the only ones to mention the little challenge. . .not sure what you'll be able to do with those points but I'll try and think of something ^_^

So here's the answer to the question Adnolprinaminophen, so this is what my brother gave me after a minute of thinking about it ^_^ you have to break it down to see what it is.

Ad – Advil 

nol – Tylenol 

prin – Asprin

aminophen – Acetaminophen 

and there you have it ^_^

Mikito: thank you! I hope this chapter was worth the wait 

Dragon Faere: Thank you, I hadn't been too happy with that part of the story at first. . .not sure if I started back form the beginning at all or it just fell into place ^_~

Katie: thank you for the review, I was actually shock at your reaction to Dante, but I'm glad one of the characters I created can draw such a reaction from one of my readers ^_^ those are some nasty things you thinking of doing to Dante, please be gentle with him. . .I like him ^_~

Morrighan of Crimson and Sable: Well here is more. . .*looks ashamed* unfortunately not exactly soon. Neither Heero nor Ash were happy with how matters turned out. . .but it would have sort of ruined my story if Heero had been able to get away.

Merlyn1382: Sorry about making you wait too long. . .and I'm afraid to say that the hurting of Heero is already written and can't be undone, ^_^ but it will lead to much greatness, so I hope you enjoy!

hupie: Thank you, I hope you enjoy this chapter

Tiger Shinigami: Here you go ^_^ enjoy!

Twilight Canel: Thanks for the review ^_^ I was glad to see you again! And really happy you came back to 9 more chapters. Here's yet another one for you ^_^

sweetangel4: Thanks, I think I was listening to Evanescence at the time I wrote that part, and the music just set up for that little scene so well I had to put it in.

Disclaimer: don't own. . .wish I could think ups something more creative to say. . .*shrug* it gets the point across ^_~

** **

To Glimpse a Tortured Soul

Dante strode down the empty hall, his long strides feeling slower to him, than they had only the day before. As a great weight had come to settle on his shoulders, a weight he had not expected. His emotions were mixed as he neared Heero's room, a part of him was angry at the pilot for refusing to reveal himself when all along he knew it was he himself that they sought. And at the very same time, Dante was angry at himself for how everything had turned out. He had allowed himself to believe that Heero would agree to give them what they wanted; yes he had been prepared for the opposite but had not seriously thought it would be necessary.

He shook his head, there was nothing he could do to change the events of the past day, all that was left was to try and finish this as quickly as possible. With a steady hand Dante stuck the keys which would unseal the door before him, and watched as it slid past revealing Heero's prone form to his eyes. 

The small Japanese man lay unaware among all the tubs and wiring, the centre of the room's activity. Dante stood within the doorway contemplating the former pilot noticing that, despite his vulnerable state, there was still an air of danger surrounding his unconscious form. The technicians in the room moved about him as though afraid he would leap to his feet at any minute. A tiny smile touched the leaders lips, he wondered now why he had never noticed this before. So much of Heero's personality and training pointed to something definitely beyond that of a normal soldier. He supposed that it was a mix of both age and height that had kept Dante from this conclusion.

It was no wonder to him that OZ had not really made it common knowledge that the 'men' they were fighting were nothing more than mere boys. There was too much of a chance of sympathies, swaying the people away from their goals. Shaking his head Dante blinked away his useless thoughts, and stepped into the room, shifting among the workers as though he was not even there, and came to a stop at Heero's side.

His street cloths had been stripped away, and been replaced with something a little more practical. Pale blue pants clad his lower half, designed with numerous snaps up the sides, allowing the medics access to the electrodes, they were using to keep up his muscle tone. Just as he had tried to make this easy for Relena so too did he want to do the same for Heero, though for him it would be more difficult as he was likely to be in the VR for far longer than the princess. A short sleeved shirt clothed his upper half, one that crossed over the front and tied in place, yet again allowing for quick access to his vitals. 

Dante's attention moved to the IV bag dripping a steady flow of bluish liquid into Heero's right arm. Reaching up he touched the bag, turning it one way, than the other as he considered its contents. Adnolprinaminophen, was a drug created many years ago, but quickly abandoned when it did not meet the standards set at the time. Because of this, the drugs full potential had never been reached. It had been Dante's good fortune, that a scientist on the colony had been doing some intensive research on the drug. And quite by accident discovered this little uniqueness about it.

It was not a drug to be taken lightly; there had been good reason for its shutdown all those years back. The drug was highly addictive, and the withdrawal symptoms harsh, and since it showed the best results when the patient was dehydrated the medics were continually walking a fine line. There had not been such a worry over Relena; she had not been in the system long enough to start worrying about the consequences of re-hydrating her only to dehydrate her again. Dante had reviewed everything concerning these side effects, wanting to make sure that everything would be done to keep Heero from suffering from any. 

Yet it really didn't matter how careful any of them were, the road to recovery from this procedure would never be a pleasant or easy one, for any who were put through it. It had been by no means easy for Dante to decide on this method, but the needs of his people had stood above everything. And he truly felt that in the end, no permanent harm would befall either Relena or Heero. His thoughts turned then to the princess, now resting in a more comfortable room, it was his intention to send her out on a shuttle along with her guards, soon within the next few hours. He wanted her to be back in the proper hands.

It was a tricky procedure now, as he did not want to leave Relena nor her guards unattended on the shuttle, as none would be conscious. Yet at the same time he could not risk one of his men being caught. In the end he had settled on sending a single medic part way, once the shuttle reached a safe point in space—where guessing which colony it had originated from would be impossible—he would depart. Leaving a beacon to send out a signal Une's agents would be sure to find quickly. Dante had prepared a message for them, assuring them that Relena would be fine, though he knew full well that wouldn't assure them.

He blinked, "Status?" Dante questioned finally coming back to himself, and wonder at the passage of time. 

"He's responding well to the drug, and is now dehydrated enough that he's in _The World_." A technician informed him, they had had Heero since the afternoon before, Dante had known that would be the answer given. 

"Has he offered anything useful?" he inquired feeling a pang of guilt standing over the young man, and discussing such matters.

"Not as of yet sir, his memories are more closely guarded that the princess', we're having a little trouble finding anything of use." The man's tone was apologetic as he continued to stare at the screen before him. "Rick you okay in there? Need a break?" he asked of a man seated in a large chair pivoted almost horizontal.

Dante's eyes strayed to the man, considering him. When it had come to Relena's memories, all they had had to do was see them, a face, and they would have their pilot. Where Heero was concerned everything was a little different. They were trying to build Zero, and for that they needed to be there, closer to the action, feel what Heero was feeling, gain a better understanding. The half helmet covering Rick's head allowed for just that. It had always made Dante curious what it must feel like to ride in another man's mind. And he could not help especially wondering what was within Heero's, what it had been like to be a pilot at his young age, to have the weight of the world _and _colonies resting upon your shoulders.

"No that's fine," Rick answered finally his voice sounding slightly strained.

"If you wouldn't mind," the Free Born leader spoke up before he had even really considered what he was about to ask. All eyes in the room turned to him at that moment; "I'd like to see what he's remembering."

That gave everyone a moments pause, Rick even half removed the helm. Glances were exchanged, almost nervously on Rick's part as though he was unsure what to do. Finally a nod was given, and the red haired man pushed himself up from the chair, he did not appear all to thrilled about this but motioned for Dante to take the seat. A shiver of excitement raced along his spin as he settled himself in the comfortable chair. "Try and relax, if you fight against it, you'll end up with one hell of a headache," Rick warned before placing the helmet on Dante's head.

His eyes darted about nervously in the darkness waiting for something to change, even as he tried to calm himself, to relax and simply allow this to take him where it would. It was as if his eyes had suddenly been opened, and he was watching a fresh horror unfold before his eyes. Dante remembered this day all to well. It was the day a Gundam pilot had killed a shuttle load of pacifist, ending—for the time—all hope of peace talks. It had been unknown to the world, which of the pilots had been responsible; Dante could not remove the feeling of morbid curiosity at being able to see a deeper side of the closed mouth pilot, to see how he dealt with such a situation.

Horror could not begin to describe the raging emotions, which ate away at Heero's soul; the moment he was told the truth that he had been duped by OZ. A part of Heero's iron hard shield crumbled then, amidst the barrage of knife sharp emotions. Dante was shocked by their feel, it was if they had never before coursed through the veins of this young boy. And considering what he knew of Heero that did not seem too impossible.

Heero sat motionless within a world of his own as the other pilots fought bravely about him, trying their hardest to protect him from the violent attacks. His thoughts had turned almost completely inwards, and it was in these first few moments of critical realisation that Dante realised his error. The boy had experienced this before, once before, and the experience had cost him much.

No longer was Heero watching the battle or even the cockpit in which he was sitting; his thoughts were turned deeper, remembering a darker time. And in some perverted way drawing strength from it, the strength to bury what had happened, to fight of these foreign emotions. Pain assaulted Dante's mind, and for a moment he was positive someone had cut him, it was not until Heero's vision cleared that he fully took in what the boy was remembering. Shadows played about him inflicting pain seemingly at random, both physical and emotional, as they attempted to drive away what little humanity the boy had been born with.

It was now Dante's turn to feel utter horror, as he watched and felt the agony Heero was put through. It shocked him that Heero did not fight this unjust punishment, but merely sat there stoically accepting everything they threw. And just as they wanted he built up the barriers, baring off his humanity, anything that could cause him a moments pause in completing his mission. It was a single-mindedness that they were seeking, and these men were fully prepared to do anything to get it.

But Heero had no focus point now; he was adrift on a sea of emotions he was not prepared to contend with. They had made a critical error in his training, it was impossible to completely destroy his emotions, always leaving a slim chance that they could find their way around his carefully constructed barrier. 

The Gundam pilots' resolve had been legendary, considering the obstacles that they had faced. Dante briefly wondered how far they could be driven in pursuit of their goals; it was only a passing thought when harsh memories flashed to the forefront of Heero's mind, as though he was trying to remind himself. The Japanese boy was standing facing out over the bitter cold, something small and familiar held tightly in his right hand. The only emotion that he felt was iron hard determination, and it became instantly clear to Dante that this boy was ready to give anything in pursuit of his mission, especially his life. 

The explosion's force was earth shattering, and sent the boy's body flying through the razor sharp shrapnel. Dante tried very hard to root himself back in the chair that he was merely watching from, but it was hard. It felt to him like he was being thrown along with Heero, his own body being torn up, as he bounced like a broken doll across the ground.

"Heero!!" The boy heard his name being called, and the fog of his memories fell away as they were replaced with the single-minded resolve that he had been trained to have at all times. Instantly all the emotions were gone from the boy's body, he was nothing more than a shell of a human being. A shell possessing reprehensible knowledge of death and destruction. The door of the cockpit opened and Dante felt himself fall through as Heero leaped from the relative safety, into the missile silo below. His mind was racing a full five steps ahead preparing himself for all the ways the mission could turn sour, and just how to counter each one. 

Dante was put in awe of the boy's raw skill, and he watched with extreme fascination as the one time dire situation was safely averted. He had heard a great deal about this over the news, but it was the usual rehashing of old information, no one seemed to quite know what had happened. All the news reported was that the Gundam pilots—in a supreme attack against the peace—had slaughtered the pacifist, there had certainly been nothing about those same pilots saving that part of the world from a cataclysmic explosion. 

Dante blinked away his distracting train of thought, and saw a cheep wooden floor beneath Heero's feet. For a moment it was a mystery to him where they stood, but it became clear as he could feel Heero's thought about the safe house, but those were only an aside to his need to be alone. He passed quickly through rooms with his head down, only partially aware of those nearby. Dante jumped slightly, willing Heero to raise his head, and look at the boys standing near him, knowing full well that they were the other Gundam pilots. Curiosity more than need drove his desire to know them.

But of course Heero's head remained angled as it had been that day he truly did walk those dusty floors, and Dante felt a sharp stabbing pain as he struggled unconsciously against the direction they were going. Stifling a groan, he brought himself back, remembering the warning Rick had given; he was but a rider in all this and could do nothing but follow the wave of Heero's memories. 

The fifteen year-old boy shut the door behind him with a resounding crash, which echoed almost endlessly through the hallow safe house. It was inside this room that the realisation of his actions truly hit Heero, and he sank to his knees on the dirty floor. He backed himself quickly into a corner and pulled his knees against his chest. But what came next was not what Dante had expected; no emotions rose from the depth to try and claim him, on the contrary there was only a void. A deep swelling nothing and it like the emotions of before hungered, trying to swallow Heero whole. It terrified Dante to be thrown so callously into this swirling void, but Heero seemed not to care or even to notice. 

His ears caught the soft knock of someone rapping their knuckles upon the thin door, but Heero did not move and inch. He remained huddled in his corner, a picture of a broken boy, something Dante had never expected. The door creaked open who ever it was not waiting for a response. All that came into Heero's view was a pair of dusty boots.

"Heero look at me. . ." a voice bade. Dante would not have called it gentle, but at the same time it was not harsh, it was a quiet monotone, one that could not reach Heero.

He did not shift an inch, Dante was not even sure he had heard, Heero was entirely fixated on the void, almost willing it to swallow him. Heero hated himself for what he had done, that stood out the clearest to Dante, he blamed himself for the deception. 

"Heero?" 

Dante's curiosity was gnawing at him. He wanted to know who it was, wanted another face to give one of the pilots. But Heero refused to acknowledge, would not look up, no matter how much Dante mentally screamed for him to. Pain seared him, and he had to fall back ever remaining a simple watcher. 

The young boy sighed finally once again breaking the silence. "Suit yourself, you know it wasn't your fault," he treated it like a statement of fact. But it was a fact Heero refused to accept. 

A tiny shake of his head was all Heero offered to say that he both heard and disagreed. All he truly wanted was to be alone, to deal with these events on his own, to find his own way around them. The presence finally walked away, whether satisfied by the smallest of acknowledgements or simple losing patience Dante did not know. Yet once he was gone and Heero was alone to once again think only of the horrific event, the emotions were to powerful, and Dante truly believed he would lose himself within them.

Desperately he searched for an escape, but found himself too bound in, he was a part of Heero, and could not longer feel his body seated in the chair the helmet on his head. A near blinding panic took him then, and he struggled frantically, wanting to scream but finding no voice. Light returned to him then, and along with it a reassuring hand upon his arm, as the helmet was removed. His breathing ragged, Dante did not speak for several moments, attempting to bring himself back under control. He gripped the armrest of the chair with a fierce hold, arms trembling, and knuckles white.

"I'm sorry Sir," Rick was saying to him, "I should have warned you how much he can draw you in."

It was several more moments before Dante finally turned his head to the voice, "What?" he managed to ask.

"Heero," he began thumbing in the former pilot's direction; "His memories are intense, they try to pull you in, I should have warned you about that." Stroking his chin with one hand Rick twisted to contemplate the small Japanese man; "It's almost as if he's doing it on purpose…"

Dante moved to shift off the chair, but halted as a knife sharp pain drove itself into his temple. Stifling a groan he shrugged aside the concerned hands, and forced himself to stand. One hand remained on his temple as he looked to address the men in the room. "I want nothing, save what links to the building of Zero, to be recorded, absolutely nothing." it was all too personal. He had just witnessed a side of Heero, he had not known existed, and strongly felt he was never supposed to have known. 

"Yes Sir" a chorus of voices intoned seriously, and Dante nodded in satisfaction, walking back towards the door.

"I want continual updates," he informed them, though this they already knew. "I'll be at my office," with that he walked from the room, his once steady step now fighting the tremble of his unbalanced nerves. 

***

With the curtains closed and the lights dimmed Ash sat alone in his apartment eyes staring forward but not really seeing. He had gone to see Heero, and the sight had affected him more than he would have expected. It had been a shock to see his friend lying there attached to all those machines, completely helpless and unaware. He had also noticed then the many bruises and abrasions that Heero had sustained in his attempted escape, though they were still nothing in comparison to the damage he had inflicted upon the men sent to stop him.

None of that had really been much of a surprise, what had shocked him though was the revelation that Heero's brand had not been real. The medic there had accidentally removed the carefully constructed 'brand' while preparing him. This left a great many question, in all of their minds, it made absolutely no sense to Ash. Why on earth would Heero wear a fake brand? Not only was the brand itself something that didn't really fit with what he knew of the Japanese man. But why wear something that would never be seen? 

It hurt his head just thinking about it, and he had tried his hardest to move his attention to something else. Yet however much he tried to focus on something that didn't involve the Japanese man Ash invariably found his thoughts back in that direction. Ash found it hard to believe even now that the man he had known and worked with for three years was really one of the pilots that they had been seeking. He supposed the hints were there, if any of them had been attuned to see them. Much about Heero had stood out odd to Ash but at the times he had simply accounted it to a rough childhood.

Nevertheless there was one time in particular that stood out to him now. . .

~_Ash stepped out of his apartment with a sigh, the weather on the colony had been mild over the last few days, and he could no longer stand to remain locked up in his house. Without a real direction in mind Ash just started walking, his long stride carrying him through the city. It was getting on to twilight, the time of the day he enjoyed the most, just when shadows were lengthening, and the city was coming alive with its night activities. He thought it almost magic to watch the lights dim, and mysteriously the people around him changed. No longer mothers with children, and the elderly; but men just finished work, and young people looking for a good time._

Halting at a corner, Ash leaned himself against a wall, and watched as the world unfolded around him. The last week had been a dull one, Heero had disappeared somewhere leaving him no one to harass, or at least go to the pubs with. Though the Japanese man was a hard one to convince for that. He had asked Heero once outright, why he only drank at certain times, but his friend had just walked away. Ash knew when not to push things, and this was definitely a subject that should not be forced. Yet thinking about drinking, brought to his attention just how dry his throat was.

He did not instantly head off towards a bar, Ash was not entirely sure that's where he wanted to be right now. It wasn't that he didn't like to drink alone, that had never bothered him, more to the point there was this nice establishment about three blocks down with a pretty little waitress just coming on shift whom he liked to sit and chat with. It was more like he felt he was waiting for something, though he was not at all sure what. 

Scanning the street Ash searched faces, but saw no one particularly important among them. The noise of the colony had shifted gears, from the productive hum of everyone working, to the low rumble of heavy bass music. It was amazing to him how that one sound seemed to define the night for him. Ash blinked away those sudden thoughts and tuned out the sounds, focusing his attention more completely on the people walking about him searching for the one he knew had to be there. 

Ash's face broke out into a smile, when his hazel eyes finally landed upon a welcomed face. Heero just exited a pub across the street from Ash, and continued on his way with head down and one hand crammed into his pocket. This set off alarm bells in Ash's head, ~when did he get back?~ he wondered silently. There was something about the way his friend moved that did not seem quiet right, and Ash quickly pushed himself away from the wall to follow after Heero.

The small man walked down the shadowed streets without meeting any resistance from the slowly growing crowds, instead they seemed to part before him. Ash smirked, they probably weren't even aware that they were doing it, there was just something in Heero's personality that forced everyone away. . .everyone that was except for Ash. Lengthening his stride he closed the distance and called out, "Hey Heero!" no response, "Why didn't you tell me you were back?"

This time Heero's head came up, and he locked his cold hard gaze on Ash, it was something he had witnessed a number of times before, and had managed to stare down every one of those. Yet this time there was something different about it, an unknown spark hidden deep within those endless depths. It screamed to Ash that everything was not as it should be. "What's the matter?" he asked trying to sound light and cheerful knowing that concern would only drive his friend deeper into himself.

"Nothing. . ."was the cold respond as Heero continued down his street, obviously making his way back to his apartment. 

"Now I know that's not true," Ash responded, but decided it was best to leave it at that until they were off the public street. Heero seemed not to care that Ash followed so close beside him, and considering the agitated set of his shoulders this seemed odd. He would have fully expected Heero to tell him to get lost, but he said nothing. 

With his worry growing, Ash was greatly relieved that Heero's apartment was actually really close by. It was right near the centre of the city, allowing Heero to walk were ever he needed to be. He kept a careful eye on his friend trying to pinpoint what seemed so off about him, but was met with little luck as the continued to move through the lights and shadows of the street. They reached his apartment building a few minutes later, and Ash silently wondered which path they would be taking to Heero's floor.

It shocked him completely when Heero chose the elevator, he could not remember the last time he had seen him use it. Ash didn't understand why Heero used different entrances and exits, never using the same one twice in a row, it was almost like he thought someone was watching him. In any case the elevator was one he had never seemed to touch, perhaps to open to the public in his eyes. Yet today that seemed not to matter, and he stepped in and hit the button for his floor. 

Heero leaned heavily against the wall his eyes lidded, as though he hadn't slept in a long time. Ash's hazel eyes scanned him over now he was bathed in the clear lights of the elevator, and he noticed for the first time the thick dark jacket Heero was wearing. "Aren't you a little hot in that?" he asked breaking the wall of silence between them. The Japanese man's eyes flickered over but that was the only acknowledgement that he gave. Ash shrugged mentally and continued his search, seemingly without thought Heero's left arm moved to grip his upper right. Ash was about to question his friend about that when the elevator came to a stop and Heero stepped off.

Following down the dimly lit hall Ash didn't even have to wait a second for Heero to unlock and open the door. He walked into the dark apartment hearing more than seeing his friend take off his coat. Heero seemed just as comfortable in the darkness, and did not appear to be moving towards any light switches, Ash on the other hand liked to see what he was doing. More importantly Ash wanted a better look at his friend, something he couldn't do with everything cloaked in blackness. Blinking back the sudden brightness Ash looked at his friend, and sucked in his breath.

Heero's right arm was covered in blood, most of it dried, but there was still some fresh that Ash could see. It all originated from a rough bandage around his upper arm. "What happened?" he asked taking a step towards Heero. His friend took a step back, holding the distance between them, but said nothing. "Let me take a look at it Heero, you're still bleeding," he wondered how long Heero had been bleeding, and what had caused it. Much to Ash's surprise Heero just shrugged and walked deeper into the apartment.

Ash shook his head trying to shake off the daze he had suddenly been thrown in, and stepped after his friend. They sat down on Heero's couch Ash taking the right side eyes just staring at the blood soaked cloth and arm, "Heero…tell me what happened…" but his friend remained silent. With a sigh Ash reached for the bandage and began to untie it, half his attention on Heero's face waiting for a reaction to what he must have been feeling, but there was nothing. The more he unwrapped the wound the more heat he could feel radiating off of it. "I think it's infected. . ." Ash spoke more to himself now than Heero whose cobalt eyes were focused on nothing.

Removing the last concealing layer Ash gasped, his face contorting into a grimace, "You've been shot!" it was an exclamation of shock, something he knew Heero was already aware of. "Why haven't you gone to the hospital?!" his wounded friend just turned to stare at him, saying nothing. ". . . right" he breathed shaking his head, "Remember who you're talking about here."

Ash switched on a nearby table lamp to bath the wound in a brighter light, "Is the bullet still in there?" he asked pressing around the wound, Heero gave no reaction, not to the pain or question asked. It was a question he could easily answer himself just by looking for the exit wound but he did not want to leave a silence between them if it could be help. Ash had handled his fair share of gunshot wounds during the war; it had been a necessity that everyone know what to do in this situation. He had hoped at the end of the war that he had seen his last bullet wound, but that was clearly not meant to be. 

"Where do you keep your first aid kit?" Heero's head came up, and vaguely looked off down the hall. "Alright. . ." he said with a sigh coming to his feet, as he made to cross the room something sitting on the table caught his eye. Reaching down Ash took hold of the TV's remote and switched the power on, welcoming anything that would break the ceaseless silence. Not wanting to leave his friend alone for long Ash quickly moved to the bathroom, searching out the needed item with little trouble, and returned just as the news was continuing.

". . .our top stories. . ." he glanced at the screen seeing a pretty woman sitting behind the desk. Sitting down beside Heero again Ash kept part of his attention on the news, he hadn't had a chance to catch up on the days news yet. ". . .Change Wufei, bodyguard to Relena Peacecraft was found shot twice and left in an alley for dead, early this morning."

Ash jumped when Heero flinched, he had been working on the wound without any recognition, so it came as quite a shock when he suddenly pulled away. "I'm sorry, if I hurt you" Ash told him, but was met with further surprise when Heero turned to him with a questioning expression, almost as though he had no idea what Ash was talking about. 

". . .Very little is known about what happened, witnesses say they heard three shots fired. . ."That snapped Ash back into the present, as the pieces began to fall into place. "We're going live now to Christina Dimingo, stationed right outside the alley. Christina what can you tell us?"

A small Asian nodded as if to an unseen cue and began to speak "Well Janis, the policewere apparently called to the scene by Chang himself just before he was shot. We don't know yet what was going on, or who the shooter is, but the police seem to know who it is they are looking for."

"And have they released that information to the press?"

Christina glanced behind her to the very alley in question; "Strangely enough they have not. I asked one of the officers earlier about this need for secrecy. . ."

"Heero?" Ash asked softly, the mere use of his wounded friends name was enough to convey his questions. 

The Japanese man just shook his head; eyes shielded from view and came to his feet. He was pulling into himself shutting out the world, Ash wasn't sure was made him think that, very little had changed about the way Heero usually behaved. His eyes locked upon his right hand, and Ash could see his muscles tense, he knew this was not a good sign but was at a loss for words that could possible break Heero's building anger. Ash came to his feet but kept a safe distance back, and Heero's left hand slowly found it's way to the bullet wound.

Everything seemed to freeze as Heero's head finally came up his cobalt eyes glinting with a darkly consuming light as his left hand gripped his arm causing blood to leak out from between his fingers. Ash winced visibly knowing full well just how much that would have been hurting, yet Heero seemed not to care. He was obviously trembling as he tried to contain himself, one word slipped passed his lips before he moved from the room "Damnit."

Ash was left standing there in shock, his mind reeling. ~I'm never going to understand you. . .~ he thought as his mind played over all that had happened trying desperately to make some sense of it. On the TV discussion of the shooting were still taking place, and somehow they made their way through the fog that clouded his mind. ". . .He was rushed to the colony's General Hospital, and was listed in critical condition. . ." 

With a sigh Ash raked a hand through his short hair, and grabbed the first aid kit. As much as he wanted to sit down and try and sort this all out he still needed to take care of Heero's injured arm. He left the room leaving the TV to fill the silent void.~

Thank you for reading! ^_^

** **

The End of a Nightmare:

"It's been two years," Wufei said finally, "Does it really matter now?"

"Now more that ever, yes I think it does," his friend was quick to respond. He rested against the wall arms folded easily but that determined air was still thick about him. 

The Chinese man pushed himself in to sitting position, "What happened then won't change what's going on now. I think we'd do better to remain focused on that," he couldn't understand why this simple request was getting him so agitated.

"Why won't you tell us?"

"I. . .don't know. . ." he said pulling a hand over his smooth hair, "I don't see what difference it makes."

"Humour us," Duo said entering the room unannounced, and clearly possessing knowledge of what was going on.

"I thought you were piloting the shuttle."

Duo shrugged, a half smile touching his face, "I'm only really needed for take off and landing. So what's up, what happened that day?" Wufei just stared, cornered by his two trusted friends, "C'mon we can work the anger off when we get back."

Wufei looked at him, nothing in his expression changing, "Then wouldn't it be better to wait until we're back?"

"Hell no, the only way I can hope to beat you is to cultivate my anger for a few hours," Duo told him with a cheeky smile. For some reason it bothered Wufei that he could almost be completely flippant about this, though he knew beneath the exterior layer Duo was as hurt as the rest of them if not more so. "So…" he bade face as set as Trowa's was.

Sighing Wufei's eyes dropped as his memories flowed back to that day, even two years later He could remember each moment as though it had just happened. . .

Morganeth Taren'drel 


	12. The End of a Nightmare

****

Mistaken Words

AN: Alright here's another chapter, Thanks millions to Pious Knight for editing!!

Okay I have a announcement to make ^_^ to all of you who long for Heero Relena cuteness my friend neekabe has taken pity on you, and wrote Mistaken Words: Picture Perfect, it's a story containing snap shots of future scenes, I hope you all enjoy it. here's where you can find it

Location: Fanfiction.net or Blissful Ignorance

****

Author: neekabe

****

Title: Mistaken Words: Picture Perfect

She really great a writng angst so I've given her permission to write a few side stories to Mistaken Words. . .I'll be letting all of you know when the next one is coming out.

OH YEAH! quick reminder ^_~ these " ~ ~ " mean either a thought or flashback. . . I think there might have been a little confusion about that at the end of the last chapter.

Dragon Faere: No worries Wufei isn't dead ^_^ quite alive and bitter actually ^_~ I'm sorry if that was confusing, most of that part with Ash was a flashback to two years ago.

merlyn1382: well I didn't hurt Heero all that much in this chapter. . . so I guess that's something to be thankful for. . . right? ^_~ thanks for the review

Erinamation-limited2-nothing: wow. . . I was left speechless after reading your review ^_^ thank you very much!

Katie: ^_^ thanks! No I never mentioned the fact that Wufei got shot, only that he was the only pilot to meet up with Heero after his betrayal, and that he wouldn't say what had happened. ^_^ I'll tell you something this chapter, with all it's flashbacks and memories, was the hardest little bugger I've had to write yet ^_~ Glad to hear you don't want Dante and Ash dead ^_^ and thanks again for reading!

Tiger Shinagami: *laughs* don't think I'd have a hard time guessing your favourite character ^_~ you'll like later on in the story, Duo plays some rather fun parts ^_^ thanks for the review!

Morrighan of Crimson and Sable: ^_^ I hope this chapter offers you some explanations. . . not sure what makes no sense so I can't be sure ^_~ thanks for the review! 

Disclaimer: don't own 

****

The End of a Nightmare

Wufei sat cloaked within a void of silence, his face set in an iron hard mask, his body rigid where he forced himself to remain seated. No one approached him, all seeing quite clearly that there was a barrier there that was not to be crossed. It had only been six hours ago that they received word that Relena had been found. The news had shocked them all, as much if not more so than her sudden disappearance. No contact had been made with the kidnappers, not a word had been spoken, and as far as the public was concerned, Relena was still comfortable resting on her vacation.

If there had ever been any doubt about Yuy's involvement, there was none now. There was not a soul alive outside the Gundam pilots and Zechs who knew the location of that cottage. They had all thought Heero was not privy to that information, but now it was clear they had made a terrible error in misjudging his abilities. They had all taken the news hard, but none really more so than Duo. To them all it was like November ninth was happening all over again, and Heero had once more betrayed them.

They had done all they could to find her, but two things stood in the way of their full fledged search. One was the public: though the peace had been with them for three years, it had been a joint decision from Zechs, Quatre and Une that none of this leak to the press. And because of that everything had to remain low key, usual sources of information had to be forgone, as they would undoubtedly bring what they heard to light. The other was Yuy himself: he had always been exceptional at covering his tracks, and that talent had only improved over the years that they had been trying to find him. None of his old habits stood, it seemed to Wufei that he had become and entirely different person.

Wufei sighed inaudibly; he felt about fifty years older than he should. It had been difficult and exhausting for all involved to keep up this façade of 'everything's just fine' for almost two weeks. Zechs had had it the hardest, the Chinese man was fairly sure, this was his little sister after all, and the thought of her in the hands of Yuy, would have quite quickly given him an ulcer had Noin and Sally not done everything they could to keep him calm. It had been an effort to convince him that he had to stay behind, as King he could not simply go running off without a word to his advisers. 

Glancing out the window, Wufei pulled a hand down his face, feeling a slight tremble in the slender digits. The vast darkness of space filled his view, and stars sparkles with their delicate brilliance, adding light were there was no life. They would be reaching the abandoned research satellite soon. It was there that the signal had originated from, but the place had been thoroughly searched more than once, and nothing had been discovered. Even now Wufei knew this had been nothing more than a convenient drop off point. Considering what they had been met with thus far, Wufei had no delusions of finding anything of use on the satellite. 

"_We're coming up on the satellite now_" Duo's voice informed over the communications system. He and Trowa had taken the cockpit the moment they had set foot on the shuttle, and neither had appeared since. A light buzz took the silence from the cabin, and Wufei glanced around matching voice to face. 

Une and Sally sat beside each other heads close together as they attempted speculate on the condition they'd find Relena. A topic not lightly taken up, the young doctor had come fully prepared for almost anything, brining along an assistant, who—much to Wufei's dislike—had been fully informed of the situation. It had been thought best that only those who absolutely needed to know be informed of the present crisis. And he supposed that Sally would need an assistant, though why it had to be _him,_ Wufei didn't know.

Luc was a young and competent doctor, who knew how to take orders and could keep his mouth shut when necessary. All of this Wufei approved of, without complaint, but sometimes the tall man rubbed him the wrong way. It was all something he couldn't quite put his finger on, he had spent a good deal of time trying to find what it was, as he had had to deal with Luc a good deal when he had been stuck in the hospital for a few weeks. 

~_A hollow numbness was the first thing Wufei's clouded mind became aware of, as he floated through the blackness towards the pale light. He couldn't remember how he had come to be within this all too familiar darkness, try as he might to search through his memories and find an answer, his mind just refused to co-operate. The closer he came to that light the more aware Wufei was of his surroundings, and unfortunately himself. _

His body screamed at him to move, it felt as though he had been resting in a single position for weeks. Slowly as he left the darkness behind Wufei became aware of his body, laying in a bed covered by a warm blanket, and the burning need to move. With a great deal of thought the Chinese man shifted ever so slightly trying to gain some comfort, what he got was pain. It came at him from seemingly out of nowhere, and a groan escaped his lips unbidden.

"Ah good to see you're finally coming around," a slightly nasal voice spoke to him, and Wufei instantly tensed, berating himself for not noticing the presence first. "It's alright, just relax," the voice soothed as a hand reached out to take Wufei's wrist, the former pilot pulled at the limb without thought old habits still hanging on even after a year of peace. 

With a monumental effort Wufei forced his eyes to open seeing the man for the first time. He was a doctor of course, but one the Chinese man had never seen before. His short auburn hair was close cropped to his head, and he kept his face clean shaven. Green eyes stared out of a face the might have been called handsome, they were deep pools which seemed to brim with knowledge, and a certain amount of compassion, yet beneath all that Wufei though he saw a haughty superiority, something the doctor felt the need to prove.

"Who are you. . ?" he asked in a voice that did not at all sound like his own.

"I'm Dr. Luc Carter," the man answered his attention on other matters, he was reading over a clipboard in his hand, and reached out to adjust the IV leading into Wufei's arm. Finally Luc looked at the Chinese man's face, "Can you tell me what happened?" it was asked outwardly gentle, but there was something in the undercurrents that set Wufei's teeth on edge. 

Despite his indignation the Chinese man's thoughts did turn to the event that had left him here, but his mind refused to see it in anything more than flashes. He felt the burning sting of the bullets piercing him twice, and the feel of his life's blood slowly draining from his body. Wufei could see his face clearly, cold, indifferent, lifeless. It was the same man he was fought against, and with during the war yet at the same time it was not. That man was dead, and the one who replaced him held no honour, no compassion, and no love for the peace.

Wufei blinked away the sudden flash of memory and looked to the doctor, "No. . ." was all he said.

Luc seemed puzzled by this and carefully reached for a penlight he was carrying in his coat pocket. "That's odd," he commented while leaning over Wufei to brush the light across his eyes, "The initial exam did not turn up any injury to your head."

The former pilot struggled away from Luc's hands, his face shifting to a glare; "My memories are fine."

"Then will you tell me what happened?"

Wufei just stared at the man, taking a moment to glance down at himself seeing the thick bandaging that covered a part of his leg and arm. "I was shot," he told Luc bluntly, "And if you need help to count, it was twice."

The doctor blinked in surprise, a sigh escaping him as he realised what type of person he was going to be dealing with. "Can you tell me who shot you?"

"No."

"I don't understand. . ." all things considered, Luc was a surprisingly patient man.

"And I don't see what difference it makes who shot me," a fire within him was slowly being fanned to life the more he thought of the events that left him here. Tthey offered him a strength and energy he would otherwise be lacking. 

Luc appeared incredulous, "You have been shot, and the one who did it must be found and prosecuted." He folded his arms across his chest staring down at his patient with a very serious expression. "We live in a time of peace, no one should be able to get away with this. Are you condoning this man's actions?"

The former pilot pushed himself up suddenly, hardly feeling the burn of his injuries, "Do not misunderstand me, I want to see him caught as much as any."

"Than tell me who he is, the police need to know so they can continue their search."

Wufei laughed roughly, "They already know, and it won't help them any," his onyx eyes scanned the room, "Where are my clothes?"

"She warned me you might try to leave," Luc told him while trying to push him back down, "Just relax, you need to rest."

"I'll rest when I'm dead," Wufei bit out, as he struggle against the other man, disgusted at how much effort this was taking him.

"That won't be too far off if you keep this up," his voice was soundly slightly strained as he quickly glanced back over his shoulder, motioning with his head for someone Wufei couldn't see. "You've lost a lot of blood, and I don't intend to let you leave until you have recovered sufficiently."

A nurse appeared at his side carrying with her a syringe, Wufei redoubled his efforts, but it was too late. He had not the strength to fight them both off, and with almost no effort he felt the needle penetrate his arm, sending its drug coursing through his system. Wufei's vision began to blur almost immediately after that, and the last thing he was aware of was Luc carefully covering him with the blankets.~

Wufei thought it might have been his bedside manner but even that seemed perfectly polite, if not a little condescending. Finally he simply chalked it up to two different personalities, and tried not to think on it any more. 

A sharp flashing light caught Wufei's eyes then, as the satellite came into view through the small window, and every muscled tensed. They all wanted desperately to have Relena back and safe, but also they wanted answers. What did they want with her? Being the prominent one for Wufei, and he was sure the others. When they had first discovered her abduction, they had all expected some form of ransom demand or a declaration. Anything than the radio silence they had been met with. Unconsciously he moved to the edge of his seat, waiting for Duo to complete the docking so they could get in there.

***

"Ugh. . ." Derrick groaned as he slowly crawled from the blackness he had been trapped within. It felt like an eternity since he had seen the light, and been fully a part of his body, not just the soul floating separately, detached from the world. It felt to him that his eyes had been weighted with lead, and it was an uphill fight to get them opened. When finally he did manage to part them a crack, all his eyes would recognise was blurs of things strewn about the dimly lit room.

For a moment he struggled to breathe. It felt to him far too much of an effort, all he really wanted to do was fall back into the thick haze and lose himself completely. But something pulled at him nagging at his mind, demanding he open his eyes and get up. He had been given a mission, one that he had failed: he could not protect the princess. She was in their hands—whoever they were—but that would not stop him from trying to rescue her. Derrick knew he would gladly give his life for that young woman, and it was the thought of her which drove him to full consciousness.

With trembling limbs, Anderson forced himself to his hands and knees, leaving his head down as a strong dizziness struck him like a blow to the head. Deep calming breaths finally helped it to pass, and for the first time the agent could take in his surroundings. The first thing his newly awoken eyes sought out was his friend; Thomas slept close by his face pale and drawn, and it was to him that Derrick moved. It seemed to take and eternity to get his legs under him and then moving, at first they did not want to support his weight. When he finally made it to Tom's side, he instantly began checking for strong signs of life.

Everything right now was a mystery to him, what day it was, where they were, how long they had been there, were just a few of the questions he'd have liked to see answered. Satisfied that his friend was okay, Anderson turned his attention back on the room. They had been lain out in a large open room; the walls lined with old computers and other such machinery. A table resting against one wall was displaying a container of water, and he wanted to move towards it, and quench his sudden thirst. But had to stop himself when his eyes caught sight of another sleeping form.

Anderson's breath caught when his eyes landed on Relena's tiny form, and a fiery rage boiled within him. Her beautiful face was deathly pale, and the skin drawn as though she were dehydrated, her hair hung limply about her head and shoulders, lacking its usual lustre. On trembling legs Derrick moved towards her, his raging emotions helping him to burn off the last traces of the drugs in his system. His eyes took in the IV feeding into the princess' arm the otherwise clear liquid had a slight bluish tint to it. It made him wary but he hesitated to remove the IV, Relena obviously needed the fluids, and he was simply not qualified to make this decision.

His fist clenched until the knuckled ached. Heero had done this to her, and if he accomplished nothing in his life Derrick wanted to see him pay for his crimes. With a hand resting on the table that held Relena's unconscious body Anderson searched about the room, careful not to turn his head to quickly for fear of losing grip on his balance. A hollow thud resonated through the structure in which he stood causing him to jump in alarm; it was quickly followed by the ringing of many footsteps. His eyes darted about searching for something that he could use to protect Relena, all the while cursing Yuy out for putting them in this situation.

Across the room Tom groaned slowly shifting where he lay, not much good he'd do in his condition, not that there was much Anderson would be able to do himself, even with his anger raging through him. Every muscle tensed as much as it could as the unknown men approached the door at the other side of the room. "Wha. . ." Tom mumbled trying to push himself up to a sitting positioned, Anderson wanted to warn him, but could not take his attention from the door as it began to slide open. He held his breath waiting to see what hopeless odds they would be up against.

The first to enter the all but silent room, caused Derrick's knees to give way, as relief washed over him "Trowa. . ." he breathed hardly believing what he was seeing.

"I've found them," the tall man called into a com-link eyes taking in the room in one calm sweep coming to rest on Relena. "Are you wounded?" he asked coming closer emerald orbs flickering from one to the other, Anderson shook his head struggling to stand once more.

Voices filled the hall outside, as the others made there way in, leading the way was Wufei face dark with his barely contain feelings. Sally was quick to follow, eyes making a clinical sweep of all who had been in the room before they arrived. Like Wufei she seemed to be keeping a tight rein on her emotions, but she had the advantage, something very important to focus on. With quick strides she was at Relena's side one hand making its way to the princess' neck to check for pulse. A man Derrick was not at all familiar with was right beside her waiting to be able to help.

"Luc, take Derrick and Tom," Sally told the man without removing her eyes from Relena, "Check them out, let me know what you find." The young man seemed to struggle with this for a moment but in the end did push himself away from the table and gently guided Anderson over to where Tom sat with the help of Duo.

His eyes found Lady Une, who was silently standing in the middle of the room arms crossed. His head fell in shame, to be seen in this state, after failing so miserably, as he slowly made his way back to the floor near his partner. "Agent Anderson," she called his name with all the authority she possessed. His head came up to look her in the eyes, which he knew she deserved and waited for that worst. "No one blames you for what happened, you were against odds you couldn't hope to win with," her expression was stern, she would not let them think anything else.

Anderson nodded his appreciation, and would have liked to say something in return had Luc not begun his examination, asking questions that required his thought to answer.

***

Wufei paced nearby where Relena lay, as Sally worked over her, all her attention focused on the smaller woman. He felt utterly helpless; it had been wishful thinking that any of the men who took her might be waiting here for them. That would have at least given him something to occupy his time until Sally was finished her examination and could actually report something. His eyes scanned the room noting everyone's location; Trowa had leaned himself against a wall, and appeared to be patiently waiting for anything that could come his way. Wufei growled softly and moved on, Duo was assisting Luc in his check of the two agents, however his eyes were constantly flickering to Relena, he too was impatiently waiting for news.

Seeing them angered the Chinese man a great deal, not because the had allowed for Relena to end up in this condition, but because it reminded him that he could have gone in their place, had he thought he would have been of more use there. As it was Wufei and the others had been sure that no one knew the location except them. "Stop it, Wufei," Sally's voice chided as she continued her work.

He halted his pacing looking at her in puzzlement, "You're beating yourself up over this, and it won't solve anything." She was right of course; it would do no good to dwell, though saying that, and actually stopping was easier said than done. 

"How is she?" Wufei asked softly stepping closer to the backside of the bed. 

Sally shook her head, "I'd love to be able to tell you something that you can't see with your own eyes but. . ." she trailed off straightening up, in her hand she held a small computer, with a tiny strip of paper sticking out of the side. "I've run a tox screening, but as you can see the results aren't very helpful."

Wufei took the offered instrument reading the screen, "Cleared?" he asked incredulously, "Then what the hell is that?" onyx eyes swept up to the IV bag and its slightly bluish liquid.

"I don't know," Sally sighed, flipping a braid over her shoulder she twisted about to look at Luc. "Have you finished?" she inquired voice sounding tired and frustrated.

"Yes, they have nothing in their blood except a standard sedative. They're a little dehydrated and appear to have lost some weight, but other than that, they're fine," he informed while walking over. Those who could stand under their own power slowly made their way to the back of the room, taking up various positions that afforded them a good view.

Luc pushed past Wufei to stand were he had been, the Chinese man glared but let it pass. He watched closely as the doctor's hands moved closer to Relena's side, and seemingly without noticed slipped under. Wufei's eyes narrowed, and he wanted to tell the man to back off, but he was a doctor, and was assisting Sally, it was his job to get close. Luc blinked in surprise pulling his hand away from Relena's side, held within his fingers was a small device. "What's this?" he asked staring down at it.

Wufei took the item with all the ease of a pickpocket, flipping it over in his hand, and noticing with satisfaction the look of displeasure that marred Luc's face. "It's a recorder. . ." he brought it a little closer to his face, pressing a small button on its side.

"Good day," a completely computerised voice greeted, Wufei sighed, they had thought of everything. "I'm terribly sorry it had to come to this, but allow me to put your minds at ease. We have done nothing permanent to your princess, only attained a piece of information we could find no other way." Everyone in the room seemed to lean in around Wufei as the voice continued to speak, "The drug that you see in her IV is Adnolprinaminophen, there is only a small dose in there to keep the withdrawal effects from hitting her. We wanted to make sure she was back within your care when this happened."

"The withdrawal should not be severe, and she should make a full recovery within a week to week and a half. I assure you we took the greatest care of her, and would have done anything to avoid this unpleasant out come, had the princess been willing to co-operate." A soft click signalled the end of the recording, and Wufei had to resist the urge to throw the offending object across the room.

"Adnolprinaminophen," Sally spat with disgust, "That was outlawed years ago, what could they possibly be using it for?" She reached for the IV line leading into Relena's wrist and simply removed the plastic tube. "Alright, let's get them back to the shuttle," Wufei was fast to step forward and gently scoop up Relena's tiny form. Again he saw a look of irritation touch Luc's face but the young doctor said nothing, instead he moved to Anderson and Ryan, helping them to their feet.

Wufei held Relena's light form close to him, noting just how light she was, and how cool her skin felt. His anger boiled but he had nowhere that he could release it, at least not yet. He desperately wanted to let off his steam, by fighting one of the other pilots; it was the only thing that ever really worked for any of them. Their skill levels were so close, and their accuracy honed to near perfection, that they could go full out without fear of hurting one another. And if injury did happen, the receiver could deal it back just as well as he could take it.

This method of anger management bothered Sally, she preferred less violent means of relief, but she did not interfere. As things stood Wufei could not recall a time when any of them have had to go to her with an injury that had been brought on by their sparring. A soft noise beside him brought Wufei out of his musings and he saw Trowa fall in beside him, a similar look of need upon his usually masked face. 

"It's a wonder he didn't kill her," Trowa commented softly, eyes looking ahead at the others.

The Chinese man blinked at that, looking down at Relena's unconscious face, her skin was pale and drawn, but she still looked beautiful. Wufei had never been able to see any reason for Heero to end her life; it was the biggest mystery in his betrayal. Why go from loving relationship—though hidden as it was—too murderous hate? Wufei sighed, "It makes about as much sense as everything else that happened over these last three years."

Trowa looked at him through the corner of one eye as though he were trying to pierce Wufei's thoughts. The Chinese man ignored the look, knew what exactly it was directed at. He had not spoken to anyone about the incident of two years ago, and he didn't really have an interest in doing it now. For the most part they had allowed him his privacy though Sally had found his silence a little more than infuriating. But now it looked like he was not going to get to keep his silence much longer, though the expression on Trowa's face had not really changed, there was now a determined air about him.

Trying not to think about it, Wufei continued down the corridors back to this shuttle, all the while feeling Trowa's gaze upon him. When the finally reached the docking bay Trowa split away from him, much to Wufei's relief, and he continued on by himself. Up ahead Sally was discussing something heatedly with Luc, but with how quietly they were speaking he couldn't tell what it concerned. But both seemed to be equally angered, so he could only assume it involved Relena's condition. 

As he stepped on board the shuttle Sally was waiting for him, "Bring her here," she instructed leading the way to one of the small berths. Though her anger was once more under relative control Wufei could still clearly see it burning in the back of her eyes. Gently he lay her down on the narrow bed, and moved back allowing Sally room to get her as comfortable as possible.

"She'll be alright," it was not really a question, in his mind Wufei refused to believe that she could make anything less than a full recovery.

"In time," the doctor told him with a sigh, "Luc and I were discussing the withdrawal effects of Adnolprinaminiphen. They aren't good. But if they've been weaning her off of it, they shouldn't be too acute."

He nodded, "What are they?"

Sally straightened from fixing a fresh IV to Relena wrist, "It tends to blur the lines of reality a little. This was just one of the reasons it was abandoned, another was how highly addictive it is. Also it tends to react badly with normal over-the-counter drugs. We aren't entirely sure what to expect when she wakes, so we'll be monitoring her very closely over the next few days."

Wufei looked down at her small form for a long time, a part of him not want to leave for fear something might happen to her. Sally seemed to notice and offered him a reassuring smile, "Don't worry, I'll be here the whole time, why don't you get so rest. . .you've been up for a long time."

It had taken them almost twelve hours to make it to the abandoned satellite, and Wufei hadn't slept much the day before, as that was when preparations were being made. During the war he had easily gone longer stretches without sleep, but he knew very well if he remained here, he would only be in the way. With a resigned nod he turned to leave the room, making his slow way to his bunk. He swayed slightly as the shuttle lurched into motioned baring them out of the satellite and back into open space.

His thumb pressed the small keypad, causing the door to slide open before him, instantly he knew he wasn't alone. Looking up onyx eyes landed upon Trowa where he sat on the small bed, obviously waiting for him. "How is she?" he asked, breaking the silence between them.

"As Sally says, she'll recover, but they aren't fully sure what to expect from the drug," he moved over to the bed motioning for Trowa to get up. The clown complied without comment, and Wufei lay himself down, letting his eyes fall closed.

The silence that had fallen between them only lasted a minute, "What did he say to you?"

Wufei knew there was no hope of feigning sleep, and ignoring the question he doubted would get him very far. The others had refrained from asking him questions about the incident shortly after it happened, understanding that he needed time to sort it all out, but as the 'needed' time continued to lengthen they began to get impatient. Even now Wufei did not know what to think, when he attempted to look through the memory, his anger blurred any deeper thinking. It frustrated him, and as much as he knew talking might help him to sort it out, Wufei just didn't want to speak.

"It's been two years," Wufei said finally, "Does it really matter now?"

"Now more than ever, yes, I think it does," his friend was quick to respond. He rested against the wall, arms folded easily, but that determined air was still thick about him. 

The Chinese man pushed himself in to sitting position, "What happened then won't change what's going on now. I think we'd do better to remain focused on that," he couldn't understand why this simple request was getting him so agitated.

"Why won't you tell us?"

"I. . .don't know. . ." he said pulling a hand over his smooth hair, "I don't see what difference it makes."

"Humour us," Duo said entering the room unannounced, and clearly possessing knowledge of what was going on.

"I thought you were piloting the shuttle."

Duo shrugged, a half smile touching his face, "I'm only really needed for take off and landing. So what's up, what happened that day?" Wufei just stared, cornered by his two trusted friends, "C'mon we can work the anger off when we get back."

Wufei looked at him, nothing in his expression changing, "Then wouldn't it be better to wait until were back?"

"Hell no, the only way I can hope to beat you is to cultivate my anger for a few hours," Duo told him with a cheeky smile. For some reason it bothered Wufei that he could almost be completely flippant about this, though he knew beneath the exterior layer Duo was as hurt as the rest of them if not more so. "So. . ." he bade face as set as Trowa's was.

Sighing Wufei's eyes dropped as his memories flowed back to that day, even two years later He could remember each moment as though it had just happened. . .

Thanks for Reading!

****

Confrontations: 

"None of you knew this," he began slowly not looking at Wufei, "But since the end of the war, I've been the one Relena would turn to, when she needed to talk."

This struck Wufei, "But I thought that--"

"Would have been Heero?" Trowa cut in, eyes finally turning away from the wall to focus on his friend. "There are just some things she couldn't discus with him…I guess she just found me to be a good listener. . ."

"And she's been leaning on you all through these years," Wufei supplied.

"Yeah. . .and I think she's been holding out hope for all of that time. . .I just don't think it ever became reality for her. . ."

The Chinese man closed his eyes, seeing now where his friend was going, "But it will now. . ."

Trowa nodded mutely, his face turning away once more, watching his profile Wufei could see him struggling with something. It was odd to see so many emotions pass across Trowa's usually blank face, but they warred there now. Finally he turned back his emerald eyes like steel daggers, "There may be much that we don't understand, or that doesn't seem to make sense. But he gave us his answers, the only ones that matter. He's against us."

Morganeth Taren'drel


	13. Confrontations

****

Mistaken Words

AN: Once again I've run out of things to write here ^_^ I guess I good note would be that I'm ahead in my writing. . .don't know how long that will last. . .but we can all hope right? ^_^ I can't tell you how happy I am at the response this story has been getting, you guys are truly the greatest!

Thanks again to Pious Knight!! ^_^

" ~ ~ " memory/flashback ^_^

Dragon Faere: ^_^ sorry but were not back to Heero yet. . .soon though ^_^ and you're welcome for not killing Wufei ^_^ I rather like him. Thank you so much for the review and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Tirger Shinigami: Thank you! I hope you like this one. . .sorry about there not being a copious amount of Duo, there definitely will be later on ^_^

Ramyh: Thank you! please enjoy ^_^

Anrui Shino: Thank you! ^_^ enjoy!

merlyn1382: Thank you ^_^ and you're welcome for not hurting Heero to much ^_~

raigne: If you have question feel free to add them in your review or an email, and I'll do my best to explain what's happening at the moment. As for Quatre he's busy looking after the colonies, he like Zechs would have loved to come, but since they're trying to keep this whole kidnapping thing out of the public eye, the president of the colonies and king of the world really can't afford to disappear. *gasp* well that was a long sentence ^_^ thanks for the review ^_^

Erinamation-limited2-nothing: ^_^ thanks, it's wonderful to see that something I wrote can draw these sorts of reactions from my readers ^_^ I hope you continue to enjoy the story.

Morrighan of Crimson and Sable: I'm glad it's all relatively clear, I think this chapter ought to give you a few more explanations. . .but to be totally honest I'm still getting to the answers to some question that have been plague the characters from the beginning ^_^ thanks!

Disclaimer: don't own!

****

Confrontations

~_Wufei blinked at the sudden brightness upon leaving the small restaurant, he gave his eyes a moment to adjust to the artificial light—which could be as harsh as the sun—before continuing on his way. He had been on this colony for little over three days, he had been given some time off from the job—forced time off—and he had decided to use this time to enter a martial arts tournament that had been going on. _

He did not care about winning, all he wanted was the challenge of something new, an opponent he had never seen before. These were the ESUN's supposed best, and he wanted to see just how good they were. Wufei was pleased to say he had not been disappointed, the fight had proved just the experience he had wanted. Sure, he could easily find a good fight back on earth with on of the other pilots, but they knew each other, knew what to expect, what tactics they used. Here it was new. He had to read each opponent, carefully sharpening that skill which was otherwise left unused on earth. 

His onyx eyes scanned the city streets out of habit, and much of what he saw was carefully stored away. He almost wondered what it was like to simply not care, to walk into a store and not count heads, and search out the exits; to simply be able to relax and enjoy life, forgetting that your life had at one time been everyone's target. Yet there were advantages to such honed skills, and it was for those moments that Wufei would never truly wish to be 'normal'.

Finishing his sweep of the busy district something caught and held the former pilot's eyes like a magnet. A shadow moved among the crowds, passing without the notice of the people around it. Wufei's breath stopped, hardly believing what he was seeing, the more he looked the more he knew he couldn't possible be mistaken. Unconsciously he took a step towards the apparent apparition, one hand moving to his concealed side arm. Indeed there was no doubt now, the man he had seen shift through the streets was Heero Yuy.

Now hyper-aware of his surroundings, Wufei made to follow the traitor, not wanting to lose sight of him, but at the same time he didn't want Yuy to panic and do something they'd both regret. His onyx eyes studied the traitor, reading him very carefully; he wanted to know as much as he could before actually confronting Yuy. It was literally with the ease of a ghost that Heero moved through the crowds, his small frame never touched anything around him. He moved with the same fluid grace he had possessed during the war, yet there was something else there as well, something in his movements screamed danger. He couldn't quite put his finger on what the change was, they had all been dangerous during the war, and still were now, so what was the difference?

Heero slipped off the main street, seeming none the wiser to the shadow following him, yet Wufei did not delude himself into believing his presence was unknown. As he turned the corner, which opened out to a narrow alley, the Chinese man drew his gun, and brought it up before him. Dark eyes scanned the shadowed lane searching for the slightest signs of movement. The hairs on the back of his neck rose as he stepped across the threshold, he moved on silent feet edging deeper, his gun lead the way finger poised over the trigger. The scrap of a foot against pavement caused him to jerk, ducking to a more defensible position. 

He saw a shadow race down an intersecting alley, and he moved follow, not wanting Heero to get far enough ahead that he'd lose him completely. Pressing his back to the metal wall Wufei listened, searching beyond the drone of the colony for any sounds of life. There was nothing, taking a quick glance around the corner, a tiny smile took Wufei's face as he saw the alley led to a dead end. Yuy was caught, justice would finally be served. "I know you're there Yuy," he called studying the alley through the corner of one eye. "There's nowhere else for you to run, give yourself up."

For several moments silence was his only response, and he watched, hoping to see a shadow shift. "You should have continued on, Wufei. . ." a soulless voice called back finally, the echo of his words making it near impossible to pin point his location. 

"You have a lot to answer for!" his grip on the gun shifted as Wufei began to mentally prepare himself for what this might come down too. He wanted answers, to be able to understand, but he would not risk letting Heero go free, just for those. If it came down to it Wufei knew he would be ready to shoot the man he had once called friend.

"You always rush into these things," Yuy said, sounding almost as if it was done with a sigh.

Wufei blinked at that statement, but his anger was rising now, and he didn't care to listen to Heero's cryptic responses. "What are you doing here?" he demanded, "Are you planning to assassinate someone else?!"

The silence between them was deafening; not even the voices of the colony's inhabitants could penetrate what hung between them. Wufei chewed at his lip, eyes darting around his surroundings making a mental note of everything he saw no matter how small. At first glance this alley had seemed the perfect place to corner the one time pilot of Zero, it was looking far less so now. He had to assume there was no escape around the corner where Heero waited or else he would have been gone by now. But if pressed could Wufei hold his ground where he was with no cover. 

Sure he was around the corner, and for now out of Heero's sight, however the more he looked over what he could actually make out of the alley. The more he came to realise that Heero could potentially move himself up, and gain a position that would leave Wufei a clear target. If that happened he knew he'd have to pull back, allowing the traitor to escape. His ears strained to hear any sound of movement, and out of the corner of his eyes he searched out the place he had last saw Heero's shadow move. 

As he watched that spot, noting with small relief that Heero had not moved, he also reached for his cell phone. Flipping it open, he dialled an emergency number, which patched him directly to the policing force on the colony. "This is Talum Police Headquarters, how may I help you?" a pleasant female voice greeted. 

"This is Chang Wufei of the Earth Defence Corps. I need police backup, I'm stationed in an alley off the main street, between. . ." in his mind he dredged up the names of the business on either side of the alley. "Nacy's Home Bakery, and 'Simple Gratitude' a flower shop of some sort. . ."

"Sir, please this is an emergency line, we don't have time for prank calls," the woman told him calmly and promptly cut the line.

Wufei blinked in shock, swearing violently under his breath his finger already dialling the number again. "This is Talum--"

"Look I don't care who you are, but this is serious! My name is Change Wufei badge number 845271, check your damn computers!" His right eye caught a shift of movement, and he knew Heero was on to him if he hadn't already heard what was being said. Heero had always had really good hearing. "I've managed to corner the terrorist Heero Yuy, and I request immediate back up."

"Right they're on their way. . ." the woman sounded a little flustered now, "You said you were in an alley off of the main street, between Nacy's--"

"And 'Simple Gratitude' yes!" He didn't bother with any further conversation but just shut off his phone and slipped it in his pocket. Returning both hands to his gun Wufei tuned out the world behind him and focused solely on the alley before him. "You heard that didn't you, they're on their way you won't be able to escape us this time."

"We want answers Heero!" he called sharply feeling his patience begin to fade, "You're going to have to talk sometime!"

Wufei thought he saw the shadow twitch, but in the dim lighting it was hard to tell if that was actually Heero or not, "I already have."

"What, you mean the 'conversation' you had with Quatre?" the word conversation was spat like a curse, "The only thing that told us was we never should have trusted you!"

"You can't take me in yet," Heero's voice dead as it was, sounded tinged with panic at those few words.

"I don't see you getting out of this," even through his anger hurt and frustration, the 'yet' of Heero's statement stood out to him as odd. However he was in no mood to consider it now. "Just give yourself up!"

The silence that followed was broken slightly by a soft stream of Japanese, Wufei listened intently but was only able to make out two words, those being 'not yet.' In the distance he could hear the sounds of sirens, and he knew time for Heero was running out. An odd sort of anticipation filled Wufei in those brief seconds, as he wondered how the others would react, how this news would be taken world wide. But most of all he wanted the answers, ones he knew they would get with Heero in custody. 

Wufei's attention came back instantly as he heard a scratch off to his right, it sounded obvious and loud to his ears; an amateur's mistake, something that should have been well behind Heero. Spinning gun before him, Wufei fired with only a split second glance at his target, he could not afford to let him get away. The bullet penetrated Heero's upper arm, without drawing any reaction from the Japanese man; his dark eyes were utterly lifeless as they stared down his former comrade. 

It was in the milliseconds that his bullet was flying to Heero's arm that Wufei, heard yet another shot, and felt two pierce his body, even as his own struck home. Confusion and pain filled him, as his body fell back at the force of the blows ~How had he managed to be so fast?~ Wufei wondered dully, he hadn't even heard the first shot. 

A dark shadow fell across his face, and Wufei struggle to see fighting off the pain which threatened to cloud his thinking. Heero's eyes were coated in ice, seeing but letting nothing truly see them. It was hard to say for sure, but it almost seemed that regret floated in their very depths, but that simply couldn't be. Wufei growled in frustration, trying to force himself up, but he could not get his leg or arm to respond to his call, as blood flowed freely from both.

"Help will be here soon. . ." Heero stepped over him, gun hidden. Nothing in his posture even acknowledged his own blood trailing down his arm as he strode down the alley.

"You won't. . .get far. . ." the Chinese man bit out.

Heero halted, despite the sirens, whose screams were growing ever louder. Silhouetted against the harsh colony light Wufei had to squint to see him. One hand clenched into a fist as two words slipped from Heero's lips, barely above a whisper, and all but completely lost to the growing commotion.~

Wufei blinked back the memory, finding himself once more in his room on the shuttle with his two friends. The atmosphere in the room was changed drastically from what it had been just before he had told the story. It had gone from looming determination, to white hot rage, mostly coming from Duo, who paced the room his face an absolute thunderhead. Trowa seemed to have taken the memory a little better, though he was by no means in a good mood, he just preferred to keep it all inside, or at least as much as he could.

Where he sat on his bed Wufei felt really reflective, as he always did upon remembering the last time he had actually seen Heero. It amazed him how crucial moments like those could be etched so completely in his mind. Yet no matter how many times he over looked the memory in all its detail there was still so much that left him puzzled. For starters why had Heero not killed him? Or for that matter Relena? His aim was good enough, of that Wufei had no doubt, so why had he missed? 

__

~You can't take me in yet~

That 'yet' still confused him, and no matter how long he sat in silence and contemplated it he could never put sense to it. It tore him up, to not have the answers he so desperately wanted, and much sleep had been lost to him over the last two years from all the time he had spent thinking, or if not that, just being unable to relax enough to give himself way to sleep. 

"Wufei. . ." 

Blinking in surprise the Chinese man looked up, his thoughts had been turned so deeply, he had been completely unaware that Trowa talking to him. Passing a hand over his smoothed hair Wufei shifted trying to cover his distraction, "Yeah?"

"You never told us what he said before he left," Trowa prompted his face a mask, leaving all to guess at what he was truly feeling.

"Yeah, what did the bastard have to say?!" there was no guessing with Duo, he wanted everyone to know why he was mad, and who it was directed at, all of this burned him deeper that Wufei thought they'd ever really understand.

Internally he winced at their questions, he had hoped that last part would not be picked up by them. It was the one part of the memory that was not one hundred percent clear to him, largely in part to the fact that he was loosing copious amounts of blood and in a great deal of pain. What he had heard he had wanted to believe more than anything; even though the time that had passed since then proved the words a lie. But because his memory of those words was so brittle he did not want to subject it to the blind rage his companions were feeling.

He shook his head slowly, forcing his face into a look of deep concentration, "I. . .can't remember. . ." he lied with what he thought was a natural, and easy flare. 

Duo halted in his pacing, turning his blue-lavender eyes on his friend, and a little of his anger left him. "I suppose that makes sense. . .considering what you went through I'm surprised you could remember so much." Only a second passed before Duo began his pacing again, fist clenched into tight knots.

Wufei and Trowa watched their friend for several moments wondering which would happen first, either Duo's rage breaking free, or the metal floor plates wearing away. To their surprise Duo pulled himself to a sudden stop and seemed ready to strike the wall, but he drew a deep breath and turned to face the both of them, "If anyone needs me I'll be in the cockpit." Wufei shared a look with the ever silent clown, before laying back on his bed and closing his eyes. 

As much as reliving that event made him want to consider it all the more, he was tired, and sleep was looking very appealing at the moment. But as the seconds slowly and silently passed he knew it wasn't about to happen, at least not yet. Trowa's unwavering gaze rested heavily and pointedly on his prone form. He fought back a sigh without much success, "What is it Barton?" he asked though he didn't want the answer.

"You might have convinced Duo, but I'm not that easily fooled," now he really did sigh. "You know what he said--"

"It doesn't matter," Wufei quickly cut in, he doubted Trowa would leave the matter until he knew ever part of it, but Wufei really didn't want to part with this last piece of information.

Trowa chuckled dryly, "You and I both know it does, or else you would have added it to your retelling."

"Can't this wait till I've had some sleep?" he demanded, his irritation rising, as if to drive the point home on his usually observant friend Wufei took the pillow from behind his head and clamped it over top. For a few blissful heartbeats Wufei let himself dream that Trowa had actually given up, but of course it was not to be, as he felt a distinctive weight settle itself upon his bed, and a hand yank his pillow away.

"You don't sleep until I know everything," Trowa told him firmly.

Wufei pushed himself up, his brow creasing into a glare, as he reached for his pillow, only to have Trowa move it out of reach. A line of dark curses slipped from Wufei's tongue in fluid mandarin, "Just let it go."

"What did he say?" the question was delivered like an ultimatum, Trowa was not about to back down from this.

The Chinese man glared daggers at his friend, his mind remember those whispered words, though he did everything he could to remain out of the moment, and just remember the words. "It sounded like he said it wasn't him. . ." 

"And you believe him?!" Trowa was incredulous, his emerald eyes flying wide.

Wufei remained utterly silent, within his own mind he was not entirely sure how to answer such a question. His feelings had been so mixed over the years that he was still at a loss when he thought back on that day.

"He shot her, Wufei!" the taller man growled out, "Quatre saw him fire the shot, and if by some impossible miracle it wasn't him," his tone screamed he didn't believe it, "he could have told Quatre, but he didn't."

They all knew well what Heero had said to Quatre, it had been cold, delivered without a hint of remorse for the girl who lay bleeding. It had all seemed so impossible to hear coming from the lips of the man who they fully believed would one day marry her. And yet Quatre told no lie. It frustrated him that he could not see anything involving Heero clearly, there was simply too much clouding all of their thinking.

Wufei's face was expressionless as he stared at his friend, as much as he wanted all of this solved and out in the open. He couldn't very well try to convince his friend when he himself was entirely too confused by all that had happened. As the moment's slipped by Wufei lowered himself back to his bed, no longer caring, he just wanted to sleep there was always more time to think despite the fact that it didn't get him any further. But he was also most anxious for Relena to wake, and see what happened to her, see how many more puzzlement's uncovered themselves.

Trowa remained where he sat for several minutes, his intense gaze weighing heavily on Wufei's resting form. He hoped now that his friend had made his point he would leave the matter and go, but as the seconds ticked by it did not seem like that would be the case. However the Chinese man was gifted with a surprise, as Trowa handed him the pillow, which he had so childishly stole. Placing it under he head Wufei promptly and pointedly turned his back, letting his eyes fall closed, and his breathing even out.

"It doesn't do you any good, to hold onto false hopes, Wufei. . ." Trowa breathed into the stillness between them. The anger, which before had filled his voice seemed to have receded leaving in its wake a weary exhausted tone. ". . .You'll only be hurt again. . ."

It rather surprised Wufei; the caring quality that was held in those words, especially coming from so reserved a person. Twisting his upper half so he was on his back Wufei regarded his friend with calm onyx eyes. Something in Trowa's expression had changed; he still wore his usual mask, but there was tiredness about his eyes that far out weighed what had appeared in his voice. "It sounds to me like you've had experience with that. . ." he watched his friend's face carefully not really expecting to see any change.

Trowa straightened his face returning to normal, as he looked down at his friend, "No, it's nothing…" he responded, and though he sounded convincing to Wufei's ears, he knew that there was definitely something Trowa was concealing. "Besides, you're tired, I've kept you awake long enough," he made a move to stand, and would have left the room in a flash, had not Wufei caught his arm in a vice grip.

"I'm not too tired to listen," he said quickly pulling Trowa back down to the bed, once he had him sitting he did not loosen his grip, Wufei was determined to get equal answers to the ones he had given. But Trowa seemed in no rush to answer or say anything, he just remained sitting there eyes fixed on the wall across from him, giving no reaction to the fact that he was not sitting there of his own free will. "You got my answers Barton, tell me what you know," for the moment his need for sleep was forgotten as his eyes bore into the side of Trowa's head.

The former pilot of Heavyarms sighed, emerald eyes glancing to Wufei, "You won't let this go will you?"

"Did you let me?"

"This is a little different. . ." the taller man replied rather evasively.

Wufei loosened his grip slightly, feeling that what Trowa said was true, but he was still not about to relent. "Tell me what you can then," he bade; though it was not a demand his voice managed to make it clear that he was not going to be put aside. 

"None of you knew this," he began slowly not looking at Wufei, "But since the end of the war, I've been the one Relena would turn to, when she needed to talk."

This struck Wufei, "But I thought that--"

"Would have been Heero?" Trowa cut in, eyes finally turning away from the wall to focus on his friend. "There are just some things she couldn't discus with him. . .I guess she just found me to be a good listener. . ."

"And she's been leaning on you all through these years," Wufei supplied.

"Yeah. . .and I think she's been holding out hope for all of that time. . .I just don't think it ever became reality for her…"

The Chinese man closed his eyes, seeing now where his friend was going, "But it will now. . ."

Trowa nodded mutely, his face turning away once more, watching his profile Wufei could see him struggling with something. It was odd to see so many emotions pass across Trowa's usually blank face, but they warred there now. Finally he turned back his emerald eyes like steel daggers, "There may be much that we don't understand, or that doesn't seem to make sense. But he gave us his answers, the only ones that matter. He's against us."

It was a statement meant to finish the discussion, and it did, Wufei could only watch his friend in silence as he came to his feet and moved towards the door. He had not realised that over the years Trowa had been carrying the burden of two, and seeing now what his friend would have to face he did not envy him the task. Trowa paused at the door, glancing back his face that devoid mask once again, "Get some rest."

***

Trowa's long strides carried him quickly away from Wufei's room, and down the echoing halls. His emerald eyes were downcast focusing more on the metal flooring beneath his feet than the actual shuttle around him. Various extreme emotions coursed through Trowa's veins, on the one hand he could not begin to describe the relief he was feeling now that they had Relena back with them, it was as though the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. However at the same time an even heavier weight had taken its place, he knew he would have to be there for Relena when she woke, he didn't think she'd be able to turn to anyone else. But he was doubting the level of comfort he would be able to offer.

Though he had never faced a situation as potential dire as this one seemed to be, Trowa had always managed to brighten her mood. He didn't know how, he had never seen himself as much of a comforter, but she saw something in him that kept her coming back. In a way he felt honoured, and on more than one occasion had wanted to ask 'why?' She was such a sweet creature, and it disgusted him that Heero would attempt to end her life. Trowa halted his thoughts; he did not want to think of that man, he knew it would only succeed in angering him near beyond thought. 

As much as they all wanted Relena to wake, so that they would know for sure she was alright, a part of Trowa wanted to get back to earth first. Whenever he came to her, he always brought chocolates; they were a weakness of Relena's that he loved to exploit when she was feeling so down. He did not think she would be up to such a sweet treat when she first woke, but the gesture was as much as boost as the chocolates themselves. 

Trowa came to a sudden halt, eyes staring without really seeing at the door that blocked his path. His hand moved of its own accord, fully intending to strike the keypad, he knew who lay behind the door, Relena, the very object of his thoughts. He had not been specifically heading in this direction when he left Wufei, but subconsciously he had ended up here, offering him the perfect chance to relieve some of his fears. Just as his index finger was about to press the key, the door slid opened seemingly of its own accord. 

"Oh Trowa!" Sally exclaimed one hand moving to grip her chest; "You scared me."

He ducked his head ever so slightly, "Sorry," he apologised in his soft rich voice. "How is she?" Trowa inquired simply.

"Better than I would have expected. . ." she began softly, "But that's not saying everything it perfect. We'll know better once she wakes," Sally offered him, what he supposed was a reassuring smile. "Trowa I need to step out for a moment, Luc is on his way but would you mind staying with her until he comes?"

"Of course not," he offered her a ghost of a smile, hoping that it would help to lift the dark clouds he could see covering her eyes. Sally smiled in return, though it didn't altogether reach her eyes, and Trowa moved aside allowing her to pass.

She stepped through the door laying one hand upon his arm as she passed, and he saw for the first time what lay beyond it halted his breath, as it had back on the satellite. Relena lay seemingly not alive, surrounded by small machines, which either beeped continually or blinked a sharp little light. Wires ran everywhere and they looked to his eyes to be the broken strings of a marionette, Trowa shuddered back from that line of thought, and quickly crossed the room to Relena's side, reaching out a hand to touch her. Feeling the warmth that assured him of her life.

He sighed in relief, and for a time simply stood there looking down on her small form, it seemed smaller now, than it had before she had left. More fragile if that was possible, but then Relena had always looked as though she were made of glass. This was not to say that she was brittle and could shatter at any second, quite the contrary she was one of the strongest people he had ever come to meet. But this appearance of 'frailty', almost seemed to bring people too her, causing otherwise stubborn ears to bend to her words. He admired her a great deal, as he knew all the other pilots did…at least those who were left.

Growling in frustration Trowa raked a hand through his hair, trying to calm himself, as he suddenly felt like putting his hand through the wall. Drawing in a slow and even breath Trowa reached down and took Relena's tiny hand in his own, holding it carefully he was disconcerted at how cold her hand felt to his skin. His callused hands gently began to rub a little warmth back into her skin, while his eyes watched her face hoping to see some form of reaction to his touch. But Relena continued to lay there, unaware of her surrounding, of all the people who worried for her well being. 

The door slid opened behind him, and Trowa carefully replaced Relena's hand at her side, as he turned to see Luc standing in the doorway. The doctor's expression was one of surprise, he had not expected to find anyone in the room. Trowa merely nodded to him before he moved away from the bed and took a seat nearby. Luc remained in the door for a moment, hands in his pockets, before he finally walked in. He made his way directly to Relena's side, placing one hand on her forehead while the other took up her wrist.

"I would have thought you'd be resting. . ." Luc commented softly, his pale green eyes glancing Trowa's way.

Trowa watched the man warily; there was something about Luc which put the former pilot on edge. Since first meeting him a year or so back Trowa had had a hard time placing what it was about the doctor that kept him from relaxing in the others' presence. It was in those silent seconds that Luc was considering him from where he stood next to Relena that Trowa finally placed his finger on it. This man gave off the same aura as Sally, that no nonsense attitude, which allowed them to push their luck where others would fear too. Luc had already proven himself a worthy member of Sally's tiny medical staff—the staff that she would actually allow near her pilots—as he had somehow managed to keep Wufei in the hospital for two weeks. And that was a feat even Sally bowed too.

With Luc's eyes continuing to study him in an all too intense way, Trowa almost found himself wanting to get up and leave. But he was not about to give way to this man for nothing more than a look. Finally he shrugged looking none too interested as he leaned back in his seat, "I'd rather wait here and see if she wakes."

A myriad of emotions crossed the doctor's face in only a second's time, and though Trowa could not place them all, he did see among them, frustration, and jealousy. He recovered almost instantly, and offered the former pilot a tiny smile, "Have you not been up for more than two days?"

Trowa did not miss the way Luc's eyes flickered to linger on Relena's still form, it was a quick movement, meant to go unnoticed, but it was all to obvious to Trowa. "If it's all the same to you, I've been up longer working on Relena's guard detail," he smirked ever so slightly as he watched Luc come to grips with the fact that he would not be alone with Relena. 

"And just how is it that one so young came to be in Miss Peacecraft's services?" his voice had taken on an air of age and knowledge, as though he were trying to be superior without being obvious. Trowa wasted no time thinking about the question; instead he used that short reprieve before answering to consider this strange man before him. It was clear on first glance that Luc thought very highly of Relena; one did not even have to see the way he looked at her with an almost reverent light to know this truth. 

"Skill outweighs age," Trowa told him simply, folding his arms across his chest, and sinking a little deeper into the uncomfortable chair. 

"Hmmm. . ." Luc stroked his chin, eyes making yet another swept of Relena, "But that doesn't explain where your skill came from. . ."

"Some people are just born with it."

"Am I to take it that you fought in the war?" the doctor's fingers subtly brushed against Relena's hand; it seemed an unconscious act, and one that caused Trowa's unseen eyebrow to raise in mute question.

The former pilot nodded briefly, "I did play a small part in it."

Luc stared as though seeing the other man for the first time, surely he must have know that would be Trowa's answer, someone with his talent could hardly try to avoid the war. "I doubt I'd be the first to find that hard to comprehend," the doctor responded finally.

"If you were involved in the war, you must know that the best were always the youngest," Trowa told him flatly.

"I made a point of avoiding the war at all costs," Luc told him haughtily, "I spent my time repairing the lives you so carelessly tore apart."

Trowa pushed himself to the edge of his seat, "Make no mistake, nothing I did during that era was careless!" he was rather surprised himself at the venom which saturated his voice.

"I'm sorry," Luc placated, allowing a silence to fall between them.

Slipping back into his seat, Trowa allowed himself to relax, and once more found his eyes resting on Relena, but it was not just her that he found himself contemplating. Now standing in the silence Luc was gazing down at her, seeming to have forgotten that he was not alone in the room. And it all made Trowa think, he knew how hard it would be for Relena when she awoke, and if this doctor could help her, make it through these tough times, by offering someone she might just be able to give herself to. Trowa knew he'd be behind it all the way.

He looked at the pair with a critical eye, and was rather satisfied to say that it was a good match, so long as Relena would accept him. And that was a rather large if, she had been through so much, no one could blame her for wanting to remain closed off and safe. But Trowa had a feeling that Luc was a persistent man, he'd have to be to deal with Wufei, and that might just be what would make this work. 

"What do you think they'd possibly want with her?" Luc whispered softly, his voice sounding full of compassion, but there was no missing the steel of his tightly held anger. "She's only ever stood for peace. . ."

Trowa rubbed a hand against the back of his neck, "There's no real way to say until she wakes. This has only happened once before and I'm sure you know what happened then." Luc nodded mutely never taking his eyes off Relena, his hand now open held hers, one supporting it from beneath while the other gently stroked it. "At first we were awaiting a ransom, or a declaration of independence like before. . .but without these I'm not sure what to think. . . "

"Some things you'd just rather not consider. . ." the tone of his voice stated all too clearly that he was considering some of the darkest things imaginable. 

"It will all be made clear in time," Trowa offered though he knew it wouldn't comfort the other man. What else could he say, there were scenarios, possibilities he did not even want himself to consider. He now hoped desperately that she woke soon, so they could have their answer.

Thanks for reading!! ^_^

****

Awakening To Realisations:

"I. . ." she spoke so quietly at first, that Trowa was not sure he had heard, he leaned closer so she would not have to try and raise her voice. "I can't remember. . ." her words trembled but she did not break.

"It'll come back to you," he assured her quietly not know at all if that was true, but he silently prayed it would, they needed it too.

Relena was silent for several moments, and he could feel her working up to something, "Was. . ._He_ there?"

Trowa held back his sigh, and for a time merely gazed at the far wall wondering at how he should answer. Yet he knew the longer he waited the more his silence would simply confirm her fears, "Yes," he told her finally, the word barely more than a whisper. 

The breath she released at that moment was near on the edge of a breakdown, he could hear it. Desperately his mind raced trying to think of a way to keep her mind from those thoughts he knew must have been roaming through her head. He pulled a hand away from her, reaching it behind him for the gift he had brought. Slowly he drew it before her eyes, watching as the haunted sadness was gladly overcome by surprise and a special form of love. 

She smiled up at him clearly glad for the distraction, "Is this what I think it is?" she whispered as though afraid to break the moment.

"You're favorite," he smiled placing the box in her tiny hands.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	14. Awakening to Realisations

****

Mistaken Words

AN: …run out of things to say…ummm ^_^ enjoy!

Anrui Shino: I'm glad you love it! ^_^ thanks for the review I hope you love this chapter too!

Tiger Shinigami: Sorry, there won't be another chapter like that…Dante won't actually find another pilot…though my friend neekabe will be writing a side story to mine, sometime soon which will deal with Heero in VR ^_^ so I hope you'll enjoy that when it comes out

Erinamation-limited2-nothing: Thank you ^_^ I had quite a bit of fun writing that one…not all of them are so nice to me ^_~

Morrighan of Crimson and Sable: awww ^_^ your wait is over! here more for you ^_^

****

Katie: thanks for the review! ^_^ it's really difficult to write the other pilots right now (not so much Wufei ^_^) because I can never seem to make them mad enough…oh and don't worry they all will find out the truth, I've hand written that part a long time ago…it'll be interesting to say the very least. ^_^

Disclaimer: don't own

****

Awakening To Realisations

"Let me get this straight," Duo leaned forward on the conference table, speaking slowly and enunciating very clearly, "We have nothing…absolutely, not a bloody thing!"

Une sighed painfully rubbing at her temples, "Maxwell, you've been with us from the very beginning, I find it strangely hard to believe that you haven't already reached this conclusion."

The braided man barked a laugh, and pushed his chair back from the table so he could stretch his legs up on top of it. "No worries, this isn't some new revelation, I just still find it hard to fathom that we have nothing…how could these people be this good?"

"They do have Yuy on their side…" Trowa put in softly, though his words were as hard as steel.

"And it drives me crazy that I can't follow him!" Duo vented bitterly.

"He's changed too much about himself, he uses none of the old patterns, which is not really surprising," Wufei spoke up for the first time since the meeting had commenced more than an hour ago. 

Zechs leaned deeper into his chair pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and fore finger; they had been here for more than an hour and had accomplished nothing. Meanwhile Relena lay in a secured part of the base, still unconscious to the world, and had been for a week. Sally had assured them all that she would wake, but even she was finding this extended time unnerving, and more than a little worrying. Though the last she tried very hard not to show. All in all everyone sitting in the conference room was under a great deal of stress, a stress that they could only really vent behind closed doors.

The world was still unaware that Relena had been taken, as far as anyone outside of this small group was concerned, she was still on a much needed vacation in the mountains. And that's the way Zechs wanted to keep it, if at all possible he wanted to have this whole matter solved without ever once informing the general populous. Three years of peace did not allow people to forget how quickly it could be broken, and the last thing any of them needed on their hands was a mass panic. 

"They must have taken her there by shuttle, is there no way to look back and see which might have passed near that point?" Zechs asked absently, already suspecting the answer that would be given.

"No they chose their point too carefully," Une confirmed his suspicions, "That satellite has been in a 'dead zone' for years, no one monitors the traffic moving in or out." 

Wufei placed his hands on the table, "And asking for colonial records of all the shuttle flight plans is out of the question, there's simply too many, and with no place to start the search we'd just be wasting time…"

"Time that we could be putting to what else?" Zechs asked wearily leaning to one side in his chair allowing his hand to massage the side of his head. "Have we any new speculation as to why they wanted her?" 

"No, nothing we haven't already stated before," Duo returned bitterly; "Quatre doesn't even have an idea of where to begin looking. He says the colonies have been really quiet. The usual small squabbles but nothing that would raise anyone's alarm." 

"Terrific," the one time warrior, and now present king breathed tiredly. "Have we made any progress with what Anderson and Ryan could tell us?"

Trowa shook his head, "There's nothing anywhere about this group called the 'Free Born' and no surprise there aren't any records of a man named Ash…it would be too much to hope that they'd slip up."

"So what are we to do now?" Zechs did not let the silence last.

"For now I'd like us to do nothing…"Une began slowly, her hands already raised to silence the protest that were fast to come. "At least until Relena has awoken, and can tell us what she knows, what other choice do we have? I don't yet want to make this public knowledge, not even to the rest of the base. And we are not enough people to search through all the records that would be required."

Duo's fist slammed the table, with a resounding crack, "Damnit!!" 

Zechs stood suddenly from his seat, sending the plush leather skidding back across the tile floor. "I don't see that we can accomplish much here, as you say Une, we'll know more when Relena wakes." He straightened his formal wear, looking every inch the king he did not truly want to be, "That said, I think I'll look in on her before I have to leave. Regular meetings here, though they are standard do seemed to make my advisers curious when they take too long."

Nodding to the pilots and Une, Zechs turned towards the door, feeling far less calm than the face he was putting forward. He was not allowed to dwell upon his anger; he was not given that luxury. If any questions were asked, he be forced to give some answer, and what could he possibly say that would satisfy? The world was at peace along with its brethren the colonies, the world was at everyone wanted it. There was no reason for such extreme emotions. 

And yet he felt utterly consumed by them, to the point where he thought his flesh would burn away with the sheer intensity of his anger. His night was plagued by dreams, more nightmares really, but instead of leaving him cold and shaking, they left him hot with rage, an emotion he desperately needed an outlet for. Noin did a great deal to help in those moments, she could listen to him rant for almost hours it seemed, and at the end say something that somehow managed to placate the anger for a little while. Zechs didn't know what he'd possible do without her…he probably would have died from stress long ago. 

Walking down the busy corridors, Zechs tried to acknowledge every deep bow, and word of greeting, with at least a nod of his head. He was not at present in the mood to be approach by just anyone, and at the same time he had to keep up appearances. It was with great relief he reach his destination. A seemingly normal elevator stood at the end of a quiet hall, but it was not ever used by the public nor even the agents at the base, only a select few ever stepped inside, this elevator would take him to Relena. Striking the keys from memory Zechs stepped inside as the doors slid opened, and quickly hit the second code, which sent the doors sliding closed and the elevator into motion.

The elevator came to a stop within seconds and the door slid opened, his pale blue eyes looked out over the empty hallway. This was the section of the base the pilots used. It was also where Relena was being kept. Sally had had a special room designed, with the pilots specifically in mind, it was a room meant to keep them in, where she could treat them properly when they needed it. She had had all the supplies she could possibly need stored here, making it almost a second infirmary. 

Walking a short distance down the hall, Zechs came to a stop at the first door. He paused for a moment, just standing outside of it, eyes not really seeing the door but almost envisioning the girl who lay behind it, his sister. With a slow steady breath he turned the knob and walked in. Relena lay pale among the sheets as she had every day since her return. It came as no surprise to Zechs that Luc was in the room, he had noticed right away that the doctor did not seemed to like being parted from her. He was not entirely sure what he thought of that; Zechs was not so protective a brother that he would attempt to limit, which men Relena associated with, the attachment just seemed a little strong to him.

He had discussed it once with Trowa, and could easily see the merits of the pilot's thinking. And if this man could help his sister get past such an experience, than he would be entirely for it. Closing the door silently behind him, Zechs nodded to Luc and crossed the room to Relena's bed. Without hesitation he took her tiny hand into his own, and gently rubbed some warmth back into it. It hurt him to see how fragile she had become, she had always been so vibrant, and he desperately wanted to see her so again. 

~_come back to us_~ he whispered in the depths of his mind, not feeling all that comfortable speaking his thoughts with a third party present. Reaching back behind him Zechs drew up the chair he knew was waiting back there and sat down. He still had a fair amount of time before he was due back at the palace. Noin was handling all the small petty matters, freeing up this precious time. He sat there for several minutes in silence as Luc moved about the room performing random tasks, Zechs' mind wandered randomly as he tried to keep it away from the areas that would anger him most. 

Gasping in shock Zechs was shaken from his thoughts as he felt Relena's small hand grips his weakly. He was on his feet immediately looking down at her with a welcoming smile. A little colour seemed to have returned to her face as she struggled to open her eyes. The moment Zechs had stood Luc had been there, at the other side of the bed, looking as though he had been there the whole time. She opened her mouth to speak, her unfocused eyes watching Zechs, but nothing came out. He glanced about for a glass of water that he could offer her, but Luc was way ahead of him, already slipping a hand behind her head to help her drink.

A ghost of a smile flickered across her face as the refreshing liquid tricked down her throat. Zechs eased himself down on the bed beside her bringing his face closer to hers, he felt more than saw Luc glare, as his access to Relena was caught off. Putting the man from his mind Zechs focused all his attention on Relena, who was waking more each second that past. Her eyes continued to clear as she pulled herself from the blackness that she had been trapped in for far too long. Relena's smile became far more genuine as the seconds past; "Zechs…" she finally whispered.

"It's good to have you back," he told her quietly, part of him wishing they were alone.

"How…long?" she inquired softly.

"You've been gone for about a month," he told her gravely.

Zechs began to feel uneasy at the confused light reflecting in Relena's eyes; she glanced past him at her surroundings, pausing on Luc for only a second before returning to Zechs. "What happened?"

He looked at her trying very hard to keep the worry from his eyes, "What do you remember last?" 

Her face scrunched up as she tried to remember, and Zechs felt all his hopes fall away as she uttered two words, "The cottage…"

"Nothing else?" he prompted gently touching a hand to the side of her head.

Relena's eyes began to tear up as she shook her head; "No…what happened to me?" her voice shook as she looked down at herself. 

Offering her what he hoped was a reassuring smile, Zechs tried desperately to think of something to say. But what could he offer of comfort? They didn't know what happened to her, why she was taken or by whom. "Don't worry Relena, it will come back to you…" he whispered.

"There's just a huge blank…" she looked so small and lost as she was clearly trying hopelessly to remember 

"Just relax. You've just woken up, there will be time for all that later," he soothed brushing her golden hair back from her face. "Relena I need to speak to Sally for a moment," she looked suddenly very worried as though she didn't want to be alone, he could understand her feelings, and his gaze turned to Luc. "This is Dr Carter, he's been looking after you, will it be alright if he's here while I step out?"

Relena looked to Luc, and the doctor offered her a very charming smile, she returned him a weak one of her own before looking back to her brother. "Alright…" she breathed tiredly.

Zechs stood from the bed, and gently squeezed her hand before placing it back down beside her, "Is there anything I can get you?"

Her blue eyes looked hopeful, "Trowa?"

He nodded with a smile, "I'll have him sent up, but you also need to rest." Zechs turned his attention to Luc for a brief moment, noting that for all intents and purposes the doctor had all but forgotten his presence. Without a word Zechs left the room, shutting the door behind him. For a time Zechs focused upon nothing more than getting from point A to point B, he did not want to think over what he had been told, at least not yet. But not thinking proved to be an incredibly hard task. On the one hand, he was altogether relieved that Relena had woken up, but there was also a sense of hopelessness gnawing at his mind.

Stepping off yet another elevator Zechs entered a more public portion of the base, and two men fell into flanking positions behind him. At most times their presence meant nothing to the former warrior, he understood that this was more for the peoples' peace of mind than his own safety. Yet today they irritated him, mostly because his patience had already been worn dangerously thin. He pushed the bodyguards from his mind and continued on his chosen path. The key to keeping this base opened and operational was to keep it as far from military might as possible.

So instead of soldiers, they had agents, men and women capable of handling dangerous situations, mostly without shedding blood. Also the vast majority of the base was opened to the public, the infirmary was actually the city's hospital, and consequently doctor's offices too, at least those who wanted to practice here. Sally was one of them, when the wars had ended she had turned her life back to medicine, in her own way making up for the blood that had been spilled. Of course her main focus was the pilots, Une, Relena, and himself. Because of that she kept her patient list rather short allowing them easy access to her. 

As he strode down the halls he could feel eyes upon him and hear words whispered; he wished his presence could simply go unnoticed. But that was not possible, and he knew that tomorrow there would be tons of speculation about what could have brought him to the infirmary. Zechs felt his bodyguards close the distance between him, he knew they were uncomfortable with so many unknowns around. But Zechs had made it clear from the beginning, that he would tolerate two guards, but that he was more than capable of handling himself in a crowded room, therefore there was no reason to clear it before hand. That hadn't gone over too well with very many people, but there were few men out there who would dare to oppose him. 

Opening the door to Sally's office, he was pleased to see the waiting room was next best thing to empty, and he quickly made his way to the receptionist. They young woman sat behind the desk, head bowed over some form, she was a very diligent worker. "Sarah, is Sally in her office?" he asked softly.

Sarah jumped out of her seat, eyes going as wide as saucers at the sight of him. Diligent, but a little flighty. She curtsied shakily eyes not looking at him, "Yes my Lord…"

He reached out a hand to touch her should, "Relax, how many times do I have to tell you just sir will do?" despite how he was feeling he managed to offer her a smile. Zechs had never been comfortable with all the bowing and scrapping some people felt the need to do, they all seemed a little old fashioned to him. She returned his smile with a tiny one of her own, "Thank you" he turned to his guards, "You can wait here." They did not seem all that pleased about it but they did as they were told. 

Walking past her desk Zechs made his way down the long corridor lined with doors, it was the very last one that he made his way to, and entered with only a warning knock. Sally was seated behind her desk, and open folder laying before her. "What brings you here?" she asked closing the folder, and leaning forward of the heavy desk.

Zechs pressed his back to the door, and folded his arms, "She's awake."

Sally was on her feet in an instant, "This wonderful, when did she wake? Has she said anything yet?" she questioned excitedly, not yet noticing his solemn expression. 

"She awake," he said again with a sigh, "But she doesn't remember a thing…"

That halted Sally's enthusiasm instantly, and her shoulders slumped, "That leave us with nothing…" she whispered eyes growing somewhat distant. "She must be forcing herself to forget. They were very careful with her, she's suffered no real trauma…at least nothing that should have caused this."

"Will she get the memories back? And if so how long will it take?"

"There's really no way to say…" Sally told him rubbing a hand across her eyes, "She may never remember what happened during that period, we don't even know for how much of it she was awake."

"Well this is just great!" Zechs roared, his patience finally snapping, "We wait this long and still we have nothing! How the hell can they possible have so much luck?!"

"I don't know," Sally responded softly.

Zechs balled his hands up into fists, looking desperately for something to break, some way to release the anger he had been holding in check for far too long. Sally did not miss the darting of his eyes and bravely closed the distance too him, "Just relax, Zechs there's nothing saying she won't remember in a day or so, all we can do is wait a see."

"I'm sick to death of waiting, those bastards kidnapped her, for reasons unknown, if we don't find out who they are they're going to get away with it!" he fumed bitterly.

"Well unless you can read minds, I don't see that we really have all that many other options to try. Focus on Relena, she awake, but that's only half the battle, we still don't know how the drug will effect her, I'm hoping she's slept through the worst of it. But either way she's going to need us," Sally place a comforting hand on his shoulder, looking up into his eyes "We all feel the same way you do."

He held his for a moment longer, relishing in the burn it sent through his veins the life it offered him. It was an emotion he was more than comfortable with, at times he almost wished his could simply let go, allowing his anger to breed further anger, until there was nothing left, so he would no longer have to try to contain it. But Zechs knew he couldn't afford to let go in such a way, his anger was too great, and people needed him, needed for him to be thinking clearly, and rationally. Something that wasn't always assured when emotions were leading the way. Finally he sighed, letting his shoulders slump as the anger retreated from the for moment, leaving him drained. "I know…" he breathed softly, looking down at Sally.

"Do the others know yet?" She asked moving back behind her desk, and resumed her seat.

Zechs shook his head, raking a hand through his hair, "No, I came straight here. I wanted to know what could have caused this memory loss first."

Sally nodded in understanding, and leaned towards him both elbows on her desk, "I admit it never really occurred to me that this might happen. But it's not uncommon for someone in traumatic situations to force the event from their minds."

Shutting his eyes for a brief moment, Zechs worked at keeping the pseudo calm he had only just recently attained. "I can't stay here much longer, let me use your phone, they should still be in the conference room."

"Sure," Sally quickly moved the phone across the desk so it was in front of Zechs, "Noin is expecting you back when?"

Glancing briefly at his watch Zechs seated himself in one of the two chairs positioned in from of the doctor's desk. "In about twenty minutes," he dialled the conference room's number, and waited on the edge of his seat for it to be answered. 

"Yes?" Une questioned looking none to pleased at this interruption, it only took a second for her to see who it was, and note the serious expression on his face. "Zechs what is it? Is everything alright with Relena?" behind her Zechs could see the others crowding in.

"She's awake," he raised a hand to silence the acclamations he could see coming, and quickly continued. "She doesn't remember a thing of what's happened to her…" Zechs watched as looks of disbelief quickly disintegrated into that of barely contained frustration and rage.

"How can this be? Was it something they did to her?!" Duo burst through, eyes nearly sparking with his raw untamed emotions.

"Sally tells me that it is not uncommon for people to force themselves to forget unpleasant experiences. We don't know when she'll remember, but chances are she will, we just don't know when." He was shocked at himself, at how calm his voice was.

"I can't remain here any longer, so I want reports on her progress," Zechs' ice blue eyes zeroed in on Trowa, "She's asked for you," he told him simply, Trowa merely nodded and silently excused himself from the room. Only Wufei seemed not to think this odd, but no one questioned his going. "Let me know the minute anything changes," he did not waste time with goodbyes but terminated the connection and came to his feet.

"Zechs," Sally called to his retreating back, he paused but did not turn, "She will get better." The words were offered as a comfort, though they did little for him, Zechs nodded all the same, and left the room, his mind on dark matters. 

***

Trowa stood outside Relena's door, in his hand a carefully wrapped box. He has stopped by his room to get it, knowing that it would bring a smile—however small—to Relena's face. Drawing a breath of preparation Trowa rapped a knuckle upon the door, and walked in. What he found pleased his eyes, Luc was seated on the edge of Relena's bed speaking in soft tones, his face revealing a warm smile. Relena for her part appeared completely relaxed in the doctor's presence offering a tiny smile of her own from time to time. The sight gave Trowa hope, that the feelings which Luc so obviously held might not remain forever one sided. This was of course only the beginning, but every relationship had to start somewhere.

His entrance to the room did not go unnoticed, and Relena's weary face lit up at the sight of him, "Trowa…" she breathed as though it took all her strength, a small amount of light re-entering her once dull eyes. 

Luc's expression was only slightly less welcoming, something he would have to work on. If he wanted to be with Relena he was going to have to be willing to share her, she was after all a public figure and much beloved by everyone around her. Trowa strode across the room keeping his small gift out of sight for the moment, and offered her a ghost of a smile as he took her small hand in his own. 

"Luc, would you please excuse us for the moment?" she asked softly, it amazed him that she was so calm, he knew what it was like to not remember events in your life. And he was proud of the courage she showed. Luc did not appear too happy with this request, and for a second seemed on the edge of refusing. But his face changed in a heartbeat to that warm smile, and he nodded silently leaving the room. 

Trowa's eyes never left Relena's face as she watched Luc leave. The instant the door closed behind him and they were alone Relena's small hand tugged as his, and he sat on the bed gathering her gently into his arms. She did not cry, he was not sure if she had already—something told him she had not—or whether she just did not know how to for this situation. Her body shook in his arm, and it was not from some chilled breeze, she was terrified. For many moments he held her too him rocking slightly where he sat. No words of comfort left his lips, as he knew none and she had never expected any, it was his presence she needed, and so long as it help he would be glad to give it. 

"I…" she spoke so quietly at first, that Trowa was not sure he had heard, he leaned closer so she would not have to try and raise her voice. "I can't remember…" her words trembled but she did not break.

"It'll come back to you," he assured her quietly not know at all if that was true, but he silently prayed it would, they needed it too.

Relena was silent for several moments, and he could feel her working up to something, "Was…_he_ there?"

Trowa held back his sigh, and for a time merely gazed at the far wall wondering at how he should answer. Yet he knew the longer he waited the more his silence would simply confirm her fears, "Yes," he told her finally, the word barely more than a whisper. 

The breath she released at that moment was near on the edge of a breakdown, he could hear it. Desperately his mind raced trying to think of a way to keep her mind from those thoughts he knew must have been roaming through her head. He pulled a hand away from her, reaching it behind him for the gift he had brought. Slowly he drew it before her eyes, watching as the haunted sadness was gladly overcome by surprise and a special form of love. 

She smiled up at him clearly glad for the distraction, "Is this what I think it is?" she whispered as though afraid to break the moment.

"You're favourite," he smiled, placing the box in her tiny hands.

Thanks for reading!

****

The Last Piece:

For the briefest instant Ash's heart stopped when he saw that Heero's prussian eyes were slightly opened. But he quickly realised that there was no comprehension behind those glazed orbs. The Japanese man's breathing became ragged as he struggled against something Ash could not even imagine. Vaguely in the back of his mind Ash registered the commotion in the hall leading to Heero's room, and voices commanding him to move out of the way. But he paid them no mind, instead moving back to where he had been standing, eyes never leaving Heero's horror filled face. 

Heero might not been aware of where he was, but he still had a sense for the space around himself. As Ash noticed a violent change in his thrashing once he was standing beside Heero. He could not begin to imagine what it must have felt like to know someone was near you and not know whether they were friend or foe. Heero obviously assumed foe, Ash did not touch him, it was clear that would only aggravate him more, instead he began to speak.

Ash's mind screamed at him to be away from here, but he was not moving, he felt someone grip his arm trying to forcibly remove him from where he stood rooted near the bed. "It's alright Heero…" he breathed casting a glare in the direction of the doctor who had his arm, nothing was going to take him from where he was now. He could not tell if Heero understood his words, or even heard them, but he kept speaking, unable to think of anything else to do. "I've got your back…it's okay you can relax…" he hoped it would help but that Heero wouldn't actually know it was him speaking.

The buzz in the room slowly died down, as both machines and medical staff began to quiet. Heero blinked his eyes still unseeing, slowly his breathing began to even out, and he went limp on the bed, seeming like the last of his energy had been zapped from his worn body. For only a heartbeat Heero's unfocused eyes turned to look directly at him, and Ash's heart stopped, but there was still no recognition in them. Ash breathed a sigh of relief as Heero's eyes finally fell closed; everything seemed back to the way it was though Heero's expression did not seem quite so pained.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	15. The Last Piece

****

Mistaken Words

AN: ^_^ the long wait is over! here's the next chapter ^_^ I do want to apologise in advance if the next chapter is a little late. Due to a hectic new schedule, and difficulties with the chapter itself it may be a little late. I'm going to try and post it with all possible haste! Hopefully it'll be ready for you next Monday ^_^

Erinamation-limited2-nothing: Thanks for reviewing ^_^ We're getting closer to returning to Heero, he's in this chapter but unfortunately you never get to be in his head. Next chapter there will be a small part like that ^_^ and then, we'll be back to him! ^_^ as for the others finding out, if you just mean generally the truth, they'll find out around chapter 30 (don't quote me on that ^_~)

Katie: Funny that you should mention Relena's memories ^_^ I was writing along (already posting online) when I realised when Relena goes back to them, she'd be able to tell them that Dante was the man to take her (major heart attack at that moment ^_^) no memories was the perfect answer ^_~ Luc is proving to be a difficult character to write, but he's Oh so important to the story. Thanks for the review hope you enjoy! ^_^

Morrighan of Crimson and Sable: They're trying to help him, that I can promise you ^_^ He's just going through some nasty withdrawal from that drug. Don't worry it'll be over soon ^_^ thanks for reviewing ^_^

Tiger Shinagami: Put your fears to rest ^_^ I have no intention of replacing Duo, Ash is a necessary character cause he's an ally that Heero really needs at this moment. Trust me ^_^ Ash and Duo are going to get on well together ^_~ I'm glad you're looking forward to the side story, neekabe's already written two (they aren't crucial to the plot like the next few will be) but they're nice nonetheless, one has cute little scenes with Heero and Relena that will be coming up in the story ^_^

Twilight Dusk: wow…I was just blown away by this review ^_^ thank you so much! you don't know how I've wanted to here someone say that ^_^ And you're right, the fact that Heero never misses would have been a serious issue, had it not be for the conversation Heero had with Quatre. He didn'' deny shooting her, and as shocking as that was, if he hadn't you'd think he'd admit it ^_^ you're not the first one to want to kill Luc ^_~ he's feeling very unloved at the moment ^_^ Thank you about Ash, I'm really happy with how his character has turned out, and been received. Wufei has a really big role to play ^_^ next to Heero I think he's my favourite character, especially after this story ^_^

battosaichick-01: Thank you so much ^_^ I think I've been working on this story for two years now ^_^ it's the longest I've ever done, and the only one that hasn't had to have a whole rewrite ^_^

Kalorna Enera: Thank you for the review ^_^ I'm always trying to avoid the old clichés. As for Heero, he didn't shoot her ^_^ he shot the assassin trying to kill her ^_^

Adaon: Thanks! I'm glad Heero seems in character, that's been one of my biggest fears when writing this story, that he wouldn't be believable ^_^ I think Wufei would have been like the others had it not been for that meeting with Heero. Where the others are concerned I think Shock is what's keeping them from really thinking about it too much. Also neglecting a lot of the facts that just don't make sense, they'd be focused on the fact that he never denied it ^_^ not to mention I need them made when I bring Heero back ^_~ 

Wolfgirl333: Thank you for all your reviews ^_^ no worries I'm not killing Heero ^_^ and now you can know what happens ^_^ please enjoy!

Disclaimer: Don't own…wish I did though ^_~

****

The Last Piece

Dante came to his feet, and stretched his arms upwards, loosing the tense muscles in his back and shoulders. He had been seated at his desk for hours, going over his speech again and again, searching for anything that might need to be changed. It was coming, and he knew he needed to be completely prepared, for it would quite possibly be the most important moment of his life. He was fully aware that for several moments he would have every eye in the world watching him, hearing his words. And though that thought did not disturb him all that much, he desperately wanted this announcement to be perfect.

Yet there was no delicate way to say what he proposed, and he was positive that there would be many a terrified person when he had said his piece. What was important was to keep that number small, to make it clear to the people of the ESUN that he meant them no harm. Dante glanced back at his computer screen. He felt quite confident that the speech he had now would accomplish exactly what he wanted. He did not know yet when he would be giving the speech, progress on Zero was moving along steadily, and the last report that had been brought to him said it was almost complete. 

Heero had been in their VR world for more than a month now; it was longer than Dante had wanted it to be. Yet he had quickly realised he could really hope for nothing less, the construction on the Gundam was slow, hampered also with Heero's refusals to cooperate. His earlier assumptions that Heero was purposely drawing them into the world, almost manipulating it as though he had control, did not seem altogether unfounded. His men continually had to find new ways to throw the pilot off guard to allow them a little more information on construction before Heero once more caught on, and they had to change tactics. 

Walking somewhat distractedly Dante found himself on the far side of his office, eyes looking out over his colony. Men, women, and children moved about their little world, knowing in their hearts that he had everything under control. It was a monumental burden to carry, but one he felt he was now more than ever ready to handle. He was about to give his people exactly what they wanted, and he would do it without shedding the blood of a single innocent. Never again did he want to see the wars of old repeated, peace was the era they lived in now and he would help maintain it.

Dante leaned against the wall aqua eyes still taking in what of the colony he could see, and in his mind he began to question. ~_Was this really the right path? Have I truly tried everything?_~ it was certainly not the first time Dante had felt such doubts, and he would never let them be known, though he suspected Ash knew. There was very little he could keep from that man. Dante's heart was convinced; it was his mind he still had yet to prove it to. 

The door to his office opened without warning, and Dante glanced its way, already knowing who would be standing there. Ash wore his usual smile, though it did not seem to reach his eyes, at least not this past month. The events that had lead to Heero being in VR weighed heavily upon Ash's mind, and though a part of him desperately wanted to set matters straight with his friend; Dante could tell Ash did not think that would be possible.

"News?" he asked simply shifting slightly where he was leaning, so he could better see his friend.

Ash nodded a spark entering his eyes that hadn't been there before, he was excited, "It's finished."

Dante's eyes went wide at that, though he had silently hoped that would be the news Ash carried, he had not actually allowed himself to believe it could be possible. "Then we're ahead of schedule…" he folded his arms across his chest, "And what of Heero?"

"They're preparing to move him to the hospital now" Ash replied voice solemn, and face unreadable. 

"Good, tell them I want daily reports on his condition, and I want to be informed the moments he's awake and completely coherent." There was much Dante still wanted to say to the former pilot, whether Heero would listen or not was another matter, one he didn't intend to consider until he was finished speaking to him. "Have they any idea how long that could be?"

Ash stepped deeper into the room dropping himself down in a chair, "Not really," he began eyes watching the ceiling without interest. "The medic suspects the withdrawal could last for more than a week, but it's hard to say for sure."

"And the doctors will be informed not to give him Tylenol," it was the most common painkiller, and one he was deathly afraid of Heero being given.

"Yeah no worries, something like that wouldn't do him any good anyway, even if he could take it." Ash leaned forward, resting elbows on knees and considered Dante, "Have you finished your speech?"

Dante nodded, "Just. It's on the computer, why don't you tell me what you think?"

Ash nodded and came to his feet; quickly seating himself in Dante's previously vacated chair. Silence filled the room as the Free Born's leader allow his closest friend to read. Dante was not thinking about his speech, nor the recently completed Gundam. He was focused almost entirely on Heero, in his mind running through what he knew was to come. The last time he had been there to see what progress had been made Heero had looked haggard, his eyes sunken, skin drawn and pale. Dante knew that was all simply a result of the dehydration, but nevertheless it was not pleasant to see, he had stressed then a faster schedule if it could be managed. So that they could have Heero on the road to recovery as soon as possible.

Though they had managed to keep his muscle tone up, there was no way to keep him exactly as he had been. His endurance was bound to be non existent, and it would take some time to get him back to eating solid foods. Dante didn't know a great deal about Heero, outside of what Ash had related to him before this whole incident. But if half of what Ash had told him was true—and he believed it to be—then they were all in for a long hard couple of weeks. 

"Is that a quote from Treize?" Ash asked, breaking through Dante's deeply brooding thoughts.

He blinked his mind processing the questions, and a tiny smile took his features, "A little paraphrased, but yes it is. I didn't think you'd notice," Dante stepped away from the window, and took a seat on the corner of his desk.

"It's sort of jumped out at me," Ash said with a smile, leaning back in the leather chair. "It's a good speech, I think it'll be well received."

"Only time will tell…" was Dante's dubious reply. He was not at all sure how well this speech would serve him, but then again there was only so much words on paper could do. Most of what made a speech good, or hopefully great, was the one who spoke the words, conveying his deepest emotions, the true reason behind the speech's creation. 

"When are you planning on making the announcement?" Ash stood from the chair offering it back to Dante.

Considering the question for a moment as he settled himself back behind his desk, Dante let his eyes rove over the computer screen, not really seeing that which had been typed there. "I'd like to wait a couple of days, I want to make sure that Heero settles in, and is making some progress."

Ash nodded, his expression returning to that unreadable mask, "That's sound reasoning. I spoke to the tech guys before coming up here; they say that everything's in place for the speech and the conference afterwards. Just give the word," his hazel eyes had a distinctly distracted look to them, and Dante was fairly sure he could guess what his friend was wrestling with.

"Are you going to go and see him?" Dante inquired carefully, eyes not exactly watching Ash, who seemed to struggle physically with his answer.

"I really should…the doctors there won't know what they're in for…" he shoved his hands deep into his pockets, not looking at all happy about the decision.

"He won't know you're there," it was offered in an attempt to comfort, but Dante didn't think it helped much.

"What about you? You actually want to wait until he's awake…"

Dante sighed pressing his fingertips together; "There's a lot I want to straighten out with him, you should go and speak to him as well, you'll only feel worse if you don't."

"Yeah, you're right…it's just…" Ash mimicked Dante's sigh, "Going to take some time."

"I understand," the words were nothing really more than a whisper, but Dante truly did understand. For the last month Heero had been weighing heavily on his mind, Dante wanted to speak to him, get that moment behind him, no matter how it turned out.

***

Raking a hand through his hair, Ash sighed trying to will himself forward, through the glass doors, which stood like a solid barrier before him. It had been two days since Heero had been moved and still Ash was working up his courage. He was not sure how long he had been standing there, eyes staring fixedly at that clear obstacle. But people moved about him without a word, merely casting slightly confused glances, he was sure it was not the first time they had seen a man near paralysed with indecision. This was a hospital after all, and not everyone had an easy time walking in on the ones they cared about, to see them in this weakened state. 

He blinked in surprise at the feel of someone's hand upon his arm. Glancing down he found a young nurse standing beside him, a concerned look on her face. "Can I help you?" she inquired, voice gentle, a sympathetic light in her eyes.

Ash offered her a smile, not sure if he wanted half the sympathy she was offering, but decided to ignore it. "I'm actually looking for someone," he said slowly, keeping his expression easy.

"Well you won't get very far standing here," she laughed softly, her eyes sparkling, and it was clear she was trying to raise his spirits.

"No I guess not," his eyes flicked to the door, and back to the young girl, he took note of her nametag Sonya, "I'm looking for my friend." 

Sonya nodded her smile never faltering, "I can help you with that, what's your friend's name?"

"Heero Yuy," mentally he flinched, but externally nothing in his expression changed.

"Ah yes…" Sonya replied her eyes flickering away, and suddenly he felt like something in her manner had changed. "Please come this way," she turned and led the way through the glass doors.

Ash followed behind, a sinking feeling forming in the pit of his stomach. What was it that she did not feel comfortable telling him? He could tell there was something and is seemed serious, but he didn't question, merely followed, knowing it would be made clear in time. They made their way through the private section of the hospital until they came to the ICU where Heero was being monitored. Sonya stopped at the tall desk, and spoke quietly to the older woman seated behind it. 

"Elie will be able to assist you with anything you might need," Sonya smiled, touching a hand once more to his arm before turning to leave. 

Nodding Ash turned his attention to this new woman, "Could you tell me which room is Heero's?" he asked still not entirely sure himself if he wanted to go to that room and see his friend.

Elie glanced at her computer screen before returning her browns eyes to him; "He's in room four, Dr. Stevens is overseeing his care, but he's stepped out for the moment. You may go to see your friend, and I'll have Dr. Stevens consult with you as soon as he comes back."

"Thank you," Ash breathed drumming his fingers once upon the countertop before walking down the hall. It took him no time at all to reach room four, just like all the others that came before it, at least in design. The wall facing out to the hall was almost solid glass allowing passing nurses an easy view of their patience. 

Ash halted dead in his tracks when his eyes landed on Heero for the first time. It was the last thing he had been expecting to see, and it made his blood boil with indignation, and a certain amount of rage. Turning on his heels Ash marched right back to the nurses station, and slammed his hand down to get Elie's attention, "Why is he in five point restraints?!" 

"I can answer that question," a calm voice put in, causing a look of relief to wash over Elie's startled face. Ash's eyes focused upon an older doctor who had apparently just walked in, his face was lined and his hair straight grey. "I'm Dr. Stevens, please" he motioned for Ash to come with him back to Heero's room.

"So what is the meaning of this?!" Ash demanded to know once they were once more looking in on Heero, who lay pale and drawn amidst machines and leather straps.

Stevens drew in a breath and turned to face Ash, "We didn't have him like this when he first arrived. But your friend has gone into withdrawal, and when he's awake he is not cognitive. He's become a danger to himself and the staff trying to tend to his needs. One of our nurses had her arm broken, and we cannot afford the risk to himself or anyone who works around him."

Ash stood there in silence, trying to digest what he had been told, his hazel eyes scanning Heero's unconscious form. His friend no longer looked dehydrated, but something else had moved in to take its place, leaving him looking, if possible, even worse. Ash figured what he was seeing was the effects withdrawal was having on him. Heero's skin shone with a layer of perspiration, and his usually hard features looked vulnerable, pained, as though even in sleep he was struggling with something monumental.

"He will make it through this…" the doctor told him as a comfort 

"I have no doubt of that," Ash replied placing the palm of one hand against the glass. ~_Will you be able to forgive me when this is all said and done?_~ Something deep inside Ash truly doubted, a small voice whispering that there was no going back, he tried his best to crush it, knowing it could not know everything. It was not like there had been much of a friendship there to begin with but Ash couldn't help but find himself drawn to the mysterious pilot. There was so much about him that Ash did not know that he wanted to find the answers to.

"You can go in if you'd like," Dr Stevens offered, his blue eyes watching Ash with some interest.

The hazel eyed man nodded without thought, his feet carrying him before he had even consciously decided that's where he wanted to be. Ash found himself standing just inside the door, his legs frozen, no longer controlling themselves. The vast majority of his conscious wanted to be away from here now, it had seen that Heero was alive, and would be well in time, that was enough, it wanted to leave. But there was a smaller, surprisingly stronger side of Ash's mind that wanted to remain, to actually close the distance between them. 

Before he could think better of it, Ash found himself wading through all the tubes wires and machines which seemed to be living for Heero, rather than helping him. Standing so close now Ash could make out details he had before missed, Heero's face seemed contorted him some form of pain, and a muscle in his neck twitched. His hands gripped the sheets tucked around him until his knuckles were white, and Ash knew anything his friend was seeing could not possibly be good. Ash settled a hand on the cold metal rail of the hospital bed, wishing there was something he could do to easy his friend's discomfort.

~_I have no right to keep thinking him of him like that_~ Ash chided himself mentally while his eyes never left Heero's sweat soaked face. ~_The last thing I can offer as a friend is to leave him in peace…_~ "Some peace…" he mumbled sarcastically, releasing his grip on the bed. With a sigh he turned to leave the room, getting the overwhelming sensation that he did not belong here any longer, what welcome he might have believed he had was now outlived. 

Making to exit the room by the same path he had entered, careful not to disturb the various machines, Ash was pulled to a halt by the sound of Heero's groan. Turning he saw the former pilot begin to thrash violently where he lay. The heart monitor, what was once a steady background noise, now moved to the forefront of his attention, a rapid screech in the no longer silent room. Ash could hear other monitors sound their alarms but his attention was only on Heero. 

For the briefest instant Ash's heart stopped when he saw that Heero's prussian eyes were slightly opened. But he quickly realised that there was no comprehension behind those glazed orbs. The Japanese man's breathing became ragged as he struggled against something Ash could not even imagine. Vaguely in the back of his mind Ash registered the commotion in the hall leading to Heero's room, and voices commanding him to move out of the way. But he paid them no mind, instead moving back to where he had been standing, eyes never leaving Heero's horror filled face. 

Heero might not been aware of where he was, but he still had a sense for the space around himself. As Ash noticed a violent change in his thrashing once he was standing beside Heero. He could not begin to imagine what it must have felt like to know someone was near you and not know whether they were friend or foe. Heero obviously assumed foe, Ash did not touch him, it was clear that would only aggravate him more, instead he began to speak.

Ash's mind screamed at him to be away from here, but he was not moving, he felt someone grip his arm trying to forcibly remove him from where he stood rooted near the bed. "It's alright Heero…" he breathed casting a glare in the direction of the doctor who had his arm, nothing was going to take him from where he was now. He could not tell if Heero understood his words, or even heard them, but he kept speaking, unable to think of anything else to do. "I've got your back…it's okay you can relax…" he hoped it would help but that Heero wouldn't actually know it was him speaking.

The buzz in the room slowly died down, as both machines and medical staff began to quiet. Heero blinked his eyes still unseeing, slowly his breathing began to even out, and he went limp on the bed, seeming like the last of his energy had been zapped from his worn body. For only a heartbeat Heero's unfocused eyes turned to look directly at him, and Ash's heart stopped, but there was still no recognition in them. Ash breathed a sigh of relief as Heero's eyes finally fell closed; everything seemed back to the way it was though Heero's expression did not seem quite so pained.

Sighing, Ash pulled a hand through his hair, eyes finally looking about the room to the doctor and nurses who stood there staring at him in disbelief. Not feeling like dealing with the question he could already see in their eyes, Ash quickly pushed towards the door. He heard Dr Stevens call out to him as he strode down the halls, but he did not stop.

***

Unconsciously straightening his business suit, Dante made his way down the well lit corridor towards the ultimate prize, the last piece of his plan. Wing Zero, the most magnificent of all the Gundams, also rumoured to be the most deadly. Dante knew very little of it, he had heard whispers of the ZERO system during the war, and how dangerous it was, but unfortunately all real information pertaining to system was completely classified, and was now no longer available. Someone had gone out of their way to destroy all evidence of the Gundams when the war ended.

This was why he had been forced to track one of the pilots down directly; he felt a pang at that thought, regretting yet again that Heero had not confided in them. But his resolve had been set for some time, and he was not about to let such feelings as these halt his plans. His mind now on Heero, Dante could not help but wonder how he was doing. He had received a report only an hour ago informing him that Heero had not yet awoken. He felt reassured in the fact that the doctors there were doing all they could to secure Heero's comfort. And he was assured further by the knowledge that Ash had finally worked up the nerve to go and visit him.

Blinking, Dante looked up and realised he had come to the end of the hall, with a sigh he punched in the code to open the door, which blocked his path, and watched as it slide to the side. Bright light spilled out onto Dante's face illuminating his almost awed expression as his eyes beheld the sight before him. Rising up before him to crest a height of fifty-five feet, stood the bane of OZ and White Fangs existence, the Wing Zero. For a moment all Dante could do was stare, never before had he been in the presence of something so grand, and it amazed him that something inanimate could hold such an overpowering aura. Green eyes seem to glint with an internal light, and he felt a chill run down his spine at the thought of it having him in its sights. 

With a slight shake of his head Dante brought himself back to the present and his real reason for being here. The massive room was far from empty, and men moved about their different tasks, Dante could not even begin to imagine what. His eyes roved about in search of one man in particular. Lucas was the head engineer, no one on the colony knew more than him about mobile suit construction and therefore he had been placed in charge of building Zero.

Stepping into the room, Dante tried not to let the feeling of being totally dwarfed by Zero cause him to hunch his shoulders, but it was a conscious effort. Slowly he made his way closer doing his best not to gawk; he had seen the Gundam through the various stages of construction, but nothing could truly prepare him for the finished piece. Dante found his eyes kept trailing to the Gundam's wings; he found them fascinating, so much like angel wings, and the did not really seem to fit upon a Gundam that Heero Yuy would have piloted, even though they were a perfect fit for what he saw before him. 

Over to his far right there was a long staircase leading up and breaking off at various catwalks that were used in the construction. It was to this that Dante made his way, feeling that if Lucas was to be found anywhere it would be near or in the cockpit. That was the part of the Gundam that he had been just drooling to see, Dante didn't really see the draw, though he did admit he was curious. Scaling the stairs two at a time, Dante's presence seemed to go unnoticed by the workers busy with their tasks. He observed them silently, as he continued his climb, noting with pleasure how much care all of them put into their work. Each and every man present knew exactly what this Gundam meant for them, and they were all eager to see it put to use.

"Dante!" a richly accented voice called, from down the catwalk he had just stepped on. Looking up from where his eyes had been cast down—taking in the distance below—Dante saw just the man he had been seeking out. Lucas pulled himself out of the cockpit his long red hair tied by in its usual ponytail. He strode over a smile on his face, but there was a look of concern in his eyes, and something Dante almost thought resembled horror. 

"You came a just the right time," Lucas offered his hand, which Dante readily took.

"How is everything? Are we ready?" he asked as they walked back towards the cockpit, Dante's blue-green eyes scanning it's interior with some interest. 

"Ahhh…yeah…about that…" the engineer breathed running a hand over his head.

Dante's eyes shot over to him, "What is it?"

"I was about to run a few programs while in the cockpit, but the moment I hit a switch this warning came up."

"What sort of warning?" Dante questioned feeling uneasy at the hesitation in Lucas' voice.

"It said that the controls had been switched…" his face narrowed into a glare, "Including the self destruct…"

Dante burst out laughing, drawing more than one curious look from the workers. It was the last thing he had expected Lucas to say, but it did not surprise him at all that Heero had been able to pull that off. Shaking his head slowly back and forth, his mirth died down, "Only Heero…"

"Sir I really don't think this is anything to laugh at," Lucas put in respectfully. 

"It's alright Lucas, I never needed the controls to be operational," he stepped closer to the cockpit, and leaned in taking in the cramped quarters. His eyes looked up above him trying to see everything clearly, and with a shrug Dante moved to seat himself in the pilots chair. "What options do we have to trigger the self destruct?" he asked hands lightly caressing the controls.

Lucas seemed to consider this for a moment, "It shouldn't be hard," he began leaning himself against the Gundam, arms folded across his chest. "I can link its computer to one down there, and trigger a simultaneous striking of every key, one of them has to be the self destruct."

"Are we sure the self destruct is operational?" it was a question that had just occurred to Dante, what if Heero had skipped that part out all together?

"Yeah, the tech boys made sure of that."

Dante breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. Then we'll be ready for the speech by tomorrow or the day after." Lucas nodded in affirmation pushing himself off the Gundam, and offering Dante a hand out. Accepting the hand Dante stepped out of Zero, and straightened to his full height, allowing his eyes to over look all that he had wanted to create. There were almost there, almost to the end everyone wanted.

Walking the short distance to the edge of the catwalk, Dante gripped the rail, and leaning out over the edge took in all the men working so diligently, every last one of them a former solider from the war. All working towards a common goal. "I ask you, what of the soldier who fought bravely for this world and lived? Are they to be forgotten, cast aside as nameless, and called only obsolete? We do not recognise ourselves as such; we retain a strong will to protect this peace in the same way we always have," the words slipped from his mouth with a fluid air of something well practised.

"What was that?" Lucas inquired from where he had been quietly standing beside him.

Dante looked to him an smiled, "Exactly what we want the world to realise we believe."

Thanks for reading!

****

A Question Answered:

Wufei stood arms crossed over his chest, eyes fixed upon Relena's TV, they had been watching, the morning news when the shot had suddenly cut, and come back to something entirely different. The two of them were motionless in Relena's living room eyes unable to leave the screen as they heard Dante's words. Both were familiar with the man as one of the many Colonial leaders, he had been a strong supporter of Quatre, but had not been in the spotlight for some time.

Relena gasped, both hands moving to cover her mouth as her eyes became slightly watery with unshed tears, "It's him…" she whispered in a shaking voice one hand pointing at the screen.

"What?" Wufei burst out in shock, but before she could respond Dante began to speak again.

"The world we once knew is gone, a new greater image has emerged, and we have all been made stronger for it." He raised a hand at this, a simple gesture, but it conveyed so much of his strongly felt emotions, "We listen, where once we could not hear, understand when there was a time we did not comprehend, and love when before we could only hate."

Wufei totally at a loss for words, reached down a hand to carefully place it on Relena's small shoulder. ~_What the hell is going on?_~ he wondered silently, why had Dante kidnapped Relena, this did not seem to fit with his personality at all. He was far to smart a man to use such tactics…wasn't he? Wufei's cell phone rang suddenly breaking his train of thought, and almost in a daze he reached for it.

"Yeah?"

"Wufei Une want's us in her office," Trowa told him simply, his voice sounds as perplexed as Wufei felt, "I have a bad feeling about this."

Morganeth Taren'drel


	16. A Question Answered

****

Mistaken Words

AN: I'm terribly sorry for the long wait, but to make it up to all of you, and to thank you for your extreme patience, I have two chapters for you at once! ^_^ hope that makes up for the delay, and for any that may be to come. I'm trying to get used to this new schedule while trying to write some very difficult chapters ^_^ I really hope you'll stick with me through this, there will come a time where I can post once a week again, I just need to get ahead ^_~ thank you all so much.

Erinamation-limited2-nothing: Thanks for the review ^_^ I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and I hope you enjoy these two ^_^ the second as a lot of Heero in it!

****

Tiger Shinigami: *blink* why do you want Ash to die now? ^_^ had to laugh at some of your methods, very creative. But what did he do that made you so mad? ^_^ thanks for the review ^_~

****

Raizard333: Thanks for the review, Heero's names going to be cleared somewhere around chapter thirty….I'm not exactly sure when….but right now that's my guess ^_^

****

Wolfgirl333:You terribly long wait is over! ^_^ thanks for reviewing! hope you enjoy this chapter.

****

Morrighan of Crimson and Sable: Now you can see more ^_^ quite a bit more too, thanks bunches for the review, and enjoy! ^_~

****

Kalorna Enera: Thanks! I'm glad you like Wufei, he's been meeting with some mixed options lately, but I think it works out alright. Not entirely sure what you want to know about Ash, he's basically just a guy who attached himself to Heero, making himself Heero's only friend ^_^ Ash doesn't like to take no for an answer, he just sort of became something Heero needed….oh that answers your question ^_^ if not feel free to ask again and again until I get it right ^_~

****

raigne: Don't worry I promise all will be laid out in the end, and Heero redeemed, despite the fact that more than one person right now would probably like to see him dead. Thanks for the review ^_^

****

merlyn1382: Thanks for the review ^_^ you're welcome for not hurting Heero to much….but….ummmm….what if he hurts himself? will I get blamed for that? ^_^ enjoy these next two chapters

****

AMaysky: Thanks for the review, I'm glad you find the characters believable, that's always been my greatest concern, I hope you continue to enjoy ^_^

****

Twilight Dusk: ^_^ thanks for reviewing! The reason why Dante wants the self-destruct is explained in this chapter so I'll let you read for yourself ^_^ as to the Tylenol, your question made me realised I never actually explained this. If you remember back when Relena was rescued by Wufei and the others, Sally mentioned the fact that certain over the counter drugs would react badly to the drug she had been put on. Well Tylenol is one of those drugs, mixed with Adnolprinaminophen, it can have deadly effects. ^_^

****

angel_of_darkenss: your wait is over! I'm glad your sucked in and thanks for reviewing! don't worry this is a Heero/Relena story ^_^ I hope you enjoy these next two chapters just as much!

Disclaimer: I don't own!

****

A Question Answered

Walking into his office early in the morning, Dante wore his best suit, having paid particular attention to his appearance before leaving his house. He did not usually care all that much, so long as his hair was brushed and his tie straight he was set for the day. But it was not every day that he would be standing in front of potentially every eye in the world. Considering what lay ahead of him, Dante felt surprisingly calm; he had been preparing for this moment in one way or another for three years, and now that it was upon him he felt like he could handle it. In his mind Dante went over his speech for the thousandth time, reaffirming that he knew it by heart, and he would not stumble while speaking.

If at all possible, he wanted to keep eye contact with the camera at all times. However, he did feel that there was a downside to all the practice. And that was the words began to lose the original meaning to him. It was not that he did not believe what the speech said, he still did with every ounce of his being, it was only, after saying the words so many times, they began to sound strange to his ears, and he silently worried that might come out in his speech. 

Placing everything aside except what he needed to focus on for the next few minutes, Dante offered a warm smile to his receptionist as he walked past, making his way directly to his office. As he walked past he did not miss the almost nervous light in shinning in her eyes. Everyone was aware of what was about to happen, and they'd all be on pins and needles until it was finished. Gripping the knob of his office door, Dante pushed the solid wood open and walked in, not at all surprised to see Ash lounging in his leather chair. What did surprise him was the full respectable suit Ash had donned for the occasion. 

"Looking sharp," he commented, pulling his feet off the desk so he could stand. "Everything has been set up, we're ready just as soon as you are," Ash's eyes did not seem to hold any nervous light, but Dante was more than aware of how much better his friend would be at concealing it. 

"Zero's in position?" Ash's saying everything was ready didn't stop Dante from asking.

"Yes," was the expected confirmation, "The camera crew has set up in the conference room." Ash offered him a smile, "Whenever you want to begin."

Dante nodded mutely, trying to ignore the butterflies that had suddenly come alive in his stomach. None of these sudden nerves showed upon his face as he stood before his desk, eyes studying his friend, and he worked to suppress them, not wanting any hint of weakness to come out in his voice. "Alright…let's begin," he said with a curt nod of his head, half turning back to the door, waiting for Ash to step around the desk.

Ash came up beside him resting a steady hand upon his shoulder, "You'll do fine," he assured, chuckling at the looked of surprise on Dante's face. He should have known Ash could be able to read him like a book. 

Letting a smile slip through, Dante moved back towards the door, Ash falling into step beside him. They walked together out of Dante's office, and into the bustling conference room located off to the right of the main foyer. At their entrance all eyes turned from last minute preparations. Dante offered them a calm face as he moved to take his place near the podium, but still remained off camera. Ash moved to take the centre stage, it was not a place he particularly wanted to be, but it had been decided, that he would be the best to introduce Dante to the ESUN.

Dante was rather intrigued by the sudden change that had overcome his friend as he settled in behind the podium, he started to look surprisingly respectable. Milo, the young man who was directing everything in this room, stepped up beside the large camera, and motioned to Ash. The fingers on his right hand slowly counting down, until the light on top of the camera switched to green. "Ladies and Gentlemen of the Earth Sphere Unified Nation…" Ash began in a clear voice.

***

Une sat behind her desk going through the regular day's papers while the news buzzed softly in the background. Very little had happened in the last few days that she considered news worthy, but she always had it on just in case something of importance did happen. It was just as she was about to start yet another page of dry reading that would require her signature that the speakers of her TV screeched loudly drawing her attention. Sitting up straighter Une slowly drew down her glasses, as the screen before her blacked out before changing picture.

A nondescript man stood behind a podium, his hazel eyes looking very serious, as he stared directly into the camera. Curious now, Une picked up the remote and raised the volume, so she could clearly catch the rest of what the man was saying. "…Good morning, please stand by for a very important announcement," the first man stepped aside making way for a man Une knew.

Dante took the podium his face solemn eyes somehow managing to look directly into Une's, she found it rather unnerving, but forgot that discomfort as he began to speak. "Ladies and Gentlemen of the Earth Sphere Unified Nation, my friends," his voice was clear and true, sounding deeply sincere. "We stand here on a day like so many others before it, in the warmth and security of our peace. A peace, which many gave their lives to attain," he continued hands resting on either side of the polished wood.

Une's hand reached for her phone, raising the receiver to her ear, "Liz, get me the King."

***

Wufei stood arms crossed over his chest, eyes fixed upon Relena's TV, which they had been watching the morning news on, when the shot had suddenly cut and come back to something entirely different. The two of them were motionless in Relena's living room eyes unable to leave the screen as they heard Dante's words. Both were familiar with the man as one of the many Colonial leaders, he had been a strong supporter of Quatre, but had not been in the spotlight for some time.

Relena gasped, both hands moving to cover her mouth as her eyes became slightly watery with unshed tears, "It's him…" she whispered in a shaking voice, one hand pointing at the screen.

"What?" Wufei burst out in shock, but before she could respond Dante began to speak again.

"The world we once knew is gone, a new greater image has emerged, and we have all been made stronger for it." He raised a hand at this, a simple gesture, but it conveyed so much of his strongly felt emotions, "We listen, where once we could not hear, understand when there was a time we did not comprehend, and love when before we could only hate."

Wufei, totally at a loss for words, reached down a hand to carefully place it on Relena's small shoulder. ~_What the hell is going on?_~ he wondered silently. Why had Dante kidnapped Relena? This did not seem to fit with his personality at all. He was far too smart a man to use such tactics…wasn't he? Wufei's cell phone rang suddenly breaking his train of thought, and almost in a daze he reached for it.

"Yeah?"

"Wufei, Une wants us in her office," Trowa told him simply, his voice sounding as perplexed as Wufei felt, "I have a bad feeling about this."

***

Dante drew in an even breath, eyes remaining locked upon the camera, as focused as he was on the speech he was delivering to the world, Dante very much wanted to know how the world was receiving it. Yet there would be time enough for that when this moment had passed. Standing there among the bright lights Dante was struck by the momentum of his actions—something the men who had come before him must have felt when they altered the course of the world—he was about to change the future with just these simple words.

"Many would look upon this world and see the utopia it has become, and I myself am thankful everyday to awaken in this world." It was true, he was grateful and relieved every day he woke and found that this peace was not a dream. "To remember the past as little more than a nightmare, but still honour the lives so valiantly given."

Change…

Dante suppressed a shiver keeping his features as they had been from the beginning, mild and sincere, what he hoped was an honest view into what he really felt. ~_Nothing will be the same after this…_~

***

Zechs stood behind his desk, both hands firmly planted upon its polished surface as his ice blue eyes remained glued on the TV before him. He was completely stunned with Dante's surprise announcement, he had not know what to think when one of his aids informed him that the colonial leader had hijacked all the signals. "What are you thinking?" he mumbled to himself, body rigid as he listened to the older man's words expecting something vital at any moment.

"Zechs, you don't think it could have been him do you?" Une asked from the videophone situated on his desk. Her voice sounded dubious, and when he glanced down it was clear she was still watching the speech.

For a moment Zechs considered what she asked, he didn't know Dante any more than he knew any of the leaders, and since there were so many that was not really very well at all. But he had thought he would have been able to safely say that Dante was too smart a man to attempt such a reckless act. And as his speech said, he was an avid defender of the peace, doing all that he could to see everything remained as it was. So then why now was he doing this? His words almost seemed to say he was leading up to something, and Zechs didn't like the gut feeling he was getting.

"I'm having everyone gather here," Une informed after a moment.

Nodding, Zechs didn't look down, "I'll be there once this is over," he didn't plan to miss a second of it.

After the obligatory pause, Dante picked up the speech yet again, Zechs had to admit, the man was an excellent speaker, his words flowing easily from his tongue, enticing even the most stubborn to listen. "But now even in this utopia, members can be forgotten, left aside, lost in the rush of people searching for what we all need, that inner peace. And it is because of this overwhelming need for attention that I stand before you this day." That feeling of unease grew in Zechs' stomach Dante was clearly leading to something, and it couldn't possibly be good.

"I ask you, what of the soldier who fought bravely for this world and lived? Are they to be forgotten, cast aside as nameless, and called only obsolete? We do not recognise ourselves as such; we retain a strong will to protect this peace in the same way we always have." Dante's eyes took on a very solemn cast at that moment; and it was those few sentences, which truly jumped out at Zechs.

"Treize…" Une breathed barely above a whisper.

"Yes…" Zechs agreed, there was no mistaking the sound and measure of the words; it was a definite quote, a little paraphrased but his all the same. 

"What are you thinking…" he whispered again, the tiny hairs on the back of his neck rising in warning.

***

Trowa was following the speech carefully using his cell phone, it was a feature he had never thought of using before, but considering the circumstances he was glad to have it now. With the ear piece in Trowa didn't bother to watch the screen as he made his way through the base. Every hall he moved through was empty, and glancing into offices it was easy to see why, everyone was crowded around the TVs. The world—he figured—had come to a near standstill with this broadcast. 

He had made the necessary calls before leaving the circus, letting the others know Une wanted them all to be in her office by the time the announcement was done. And now he was on his way there himself, mind turning over different possibilities of why Dante had chosen to do this, and where his speech was heading. He didn't like anything that came to mind, and he began to wonder if it was possible that Dante had a hand in the kidnapping of Relena. As impossible as that sounded, it was the only thing that really made sense, when one considered how out of the blue this announcement was.

"The men and women of colony LX185 wish to remain ever locked in the peace that we have finally achieved, yet we wish to govern ourselves, apart from the Earth Sphere Unified Nation. Forever in contact with, but nevertheless our own mind and body."

Trowa's only reaction to this was a blink of surprise, ~_He's declaring independence…then why would he need Relena…if he was the one to take her…_~ Trowa's thoughts could find no answers, and so he merely continued on towards Une's office. With each door he passed Trowa's sharp ears caught short almost whispered communications.

"…Not this again…"

"…It's like Mariemaia…"

"…He's going to start the war…"

"…Is there no end?"

His stride quickened, they would put a stop to this before it got out of hand.

***

Quatre sat in stunned silence, his mind racing to digest what he had just been told, that one of the colonies he so loved, that he had worked so hard to keep together, had decided to fall away from him. It was the last thing he had expected from a man such as Dante, Quatre had thought they had always been able to communicate very well, easily being able to see eye to eye. So then why this?

He sat in a large conference room various advisers and even a few colonial leaders sat about the table, all eyes fixed upon the large screen TV which hung from the wall on the far side of the room. Quatre's tea rested at his elbow cold and forgotten in the wake of these sudden events, a part of him wanted to contact Une, to see what she thought of all this, but he did not want to risk missing something crucial. 

Dante's expression was one of compassion, not at all what was expected of a man who had just declared independence, after such a declaration had ended in war only four years before. "I do not stand before you to declare war, or any such hostilities. Please put your fears to rest, and understand that I would do anything in my power to keep the peace, I would give my own life."

"Yet at the same time the needs of my people cannot go unmet, and we have struggled long and hard in the shadows of the ESUN." His face looked truly saddened as he spoke those words, "It is time that we step forward and make our lives our own."

If Quatre had been stunned before, his mind had totally frozen now. He had never thought one particular colony had been neglected in these three years of peace. It was clear now he had been horribly mistaken. "Why didn't you come to me?" he asked softly of the image displayed before him, his blue eyes filled with remorse and guilt. He should have known; he should have been able to stop this before it happened, ~_why did I not seen this coming? I'm the leader of the colonies, they're supposed to be in my care…how could I let this happen?_~

"This is my fault…" he breathed dropping his head into his hands.

***

Blinking away the sudden wave of heat, Heero blearily glanced about his surroundings. He could not make sense of what had happened to leave him in such a weakened state, nor where he was for that matter. He felt vulnerable, unable to defend himself or even move, his limbs refused to answer his call, and his mind did not seem to want to focus for more than three seconds at a time. It was this damned heat; it came in waves blinding him to everything but its intensity. He wanted to push the coverings off him, in a vain attempt to cool himself, but he found his uncoordinated movements hampered by restraints. 

Heero's first thought was to panic, struggle until he was free, but his body would not respond. So he lay there trying to wake himself, to gain a greater feel for his surroundings, but finding little success, as the moments—which were more like hours—ticked by. The muscles around his stomach clenched, and he fought back a groan as the flames rose with renewed vigour. As the wave subsided, Heero became aware of another's presence in the room, and he tried to search them out, with eyes that would not focus. 

He had not found the person when something else caught his clouded attention. Filtering through the haze of his fogged mind came words that he could not comprehend, but he listened none the less. "As a sign of my solidarity to the peace and all that it means to every man, woman, and child, I have but a simple display to make." The voice was one he recognised, and it sparked an unknown anger in him.

"I have attained as you can now see, a Gundam, Wing Zero to be precise. Please do not fear, it has been my intention from the beginning to see this weapon destroyed, as a sign." Something in that line of unknown words struck Heero and he looked in the direction of speaker's voice, his eyes clearing just long enough to see a TV near him. Displayed on its glowing surface was a large mobile suite, and one he recognised very well, even in this state.

His mind tried to work out what this meant, and why it caused him such great anger, but he was met with no success. Staring all the rest of the world forgotten, Heero watched through a thick haze as the Gundam—his Gundam, he realised suddenly—was lost in a massive explosion. Confused and weakened, Heero's eyes fell shut despite his best efforts to keep them opened, and though the words fell upon deaf ears, Heero's mind still caught them.

"We the people of Freedom's Point, wish you no harm. Let us continue to build this world of peace together."

***

Dante breathed a sigh of relief as the small light on top of the camera changed from green to red, signalling that the announcement was over. Milo stepped forward then, as wide smile on his young face, "Excellent speech sir," he commented enthusiastically.

"Thank you," Dante breathed, in his mind he was fast working through everything he said, now praying that it had all come out right.

"You did fine," Ash cut through his thoughts a little smirk playing on his face; "Stop worrying about it, you have other things to focus on now." 

"That's right sir, everything has been set up in your office," Milo informed walking beside Dante and Ash, "And I've just been told, sir, that President Winner is waiting for you."

The Free Born's leader tried not to sigh, he had known this moment would be fast coming, and had done everything he could to prepare himself. But still his mind was having trouble organising what it was that he wanted to say, he was however sure he'd be able to do it when the time came. "Alright, I'll speak with him first, then I want a direct link to Lady Une, the others should be there with her."

"Yes sir, just let us know when you're ready," the young man smiled once more before disappearing into another room.

Continuing on to his office, Dante kept his head down, eyes studying the floor as he tried to prepare himself for what was needed now. "Don't look so sad," Ash bade, his voice cutting though Dante's deep thoughts, "You'd never know you were standing on the doorstep to a new future, one you yourself have brought about."

Dante offered his friend a wane smile, "Yes we are on the doorstep, but what will it take to safely walk through?" he sighed, "This is only the beginning my friend."

Ash pulled him to a stop; "Quatre will come to understand."

Sighing, Dante glanced at the heavy wooden door, the last barrier; "He'll blame himself, I think…" he breathed, pulling a hand through his hair. 

"And then looks at you like a kicked puppy," Ash finished the sentence, face completely straight.

Dante blinked in surprise at that, considering the statement for a moment, "Yes you're right…" he agreed slowly, "But one who knows exactly what effect he can have." Anyone who looked at Quatre would instantly see an innocent boy, just barely a young man. And many a politician had gone to him fully intending to come out on top in the given discussion. It never ceased to amaze Dante the number of times Quatre could pull the cute little boy act and get his way. 

It was not a tactic any of the politicians were familiar with; they were used to throwing around their experience and political weight. Quatre had quite stunned them all, when he came on the scene, his attitude at times almost seeming like a disappointed child, being told Santa wasn't real. That tactic—and yes Dante was positive it was intentionally done—was something these masters of the political arena had no armour against. It was very hard to defend yourself when the one you were up against was not angry or purely enraged, but rather disappointed, and he was disappointed in you. It was that deep need to do whatever it took to make him smile again that won Quatre so many victories.

Ash chuckled softly, "He does wield that cute little boy look rather ruthlessly."

Dante smiled at his friend, feeling the tension from before fade away. It never ceased to surprise him how well Ash could read him. Knowing exactly when he needed the mood to be lightened to help him focus. It was easy for Dante to bring his mask back into place, and stride forward to his office, confident that he would be able to handle whatever came his way.

Together they walked in, but only Dante went around to his desk, seating himself in front of the large screen videophone that had been set up there. Ash took an inconspicuous seat across from him, resting rather comfortably in one of the chairs, a leg draped over the arm. Forgetting about his friend for the moment Dante focused his attention fully upon the face waiting for him. As he had expected, Quatre looked greatly upset, his youthful face holding the burden of sadness and self-reproach that few could understand. 

"Dante, why didn't you come to me?" expecting that question or not, it was hard to be fully prepared to answer Quatre when he was looking at you in that way. Dante knew, however, that unlike many times, this expression was truthful. The young man did feel hurt, and perhaps even a little betrayed.

Off to the side Dante's peripheral vision caught an obvious motion, and glancing subtly over he was slightly horrified to see Ash making kicking motions. Working doubly hard to keep his face as it was Dante began to speak, "Mr President I would not have you blame yourself for what has happened today…"

"The colonies were placed in my care, I'm supposed to look after you, who else should be blamed?" The young president cut in.

"No one, very little will be changing after today. I put on that display to show the world, war was the last thing any of my people wanted." Dante leaned forward hands folded before him on his desk, "We don't intend to shut ourselves off from the rest of the ESUN, we just want to be making our own decisions."

"What was it, exactly, that made you decide this was the only option?" a certain amount of resignation had entered into Quatre's voice.

Dante thought about that for a moment, searching for the best way to phrase what he wanted to say. "You have to be the most talented leader I've ever had the pleasure of working with Mr President, but no one, no matter how talented could hope to appease everyone," he raised a hand to cut off what Quatre was going to say, wanting to finish his thoughts first. "Granted you've done an excellent job, but my people simply do not want to be in the shadows any more."

"This isn't to say we felt that we've been neglected or snubbed by the rest of the ESUN," Dante breathed trying to form what he wanted to convey into the right words. "The vast majority of my citizens were at one time or another soldiers in the war. We have, perhaps, the highest population of former soldiers. And it is because of this, I think, that my people have often felt like outsiders."

"Dante, that was all put aside after the wars finished, it doesn't matter who fought and who did not," Quatre countered with all sincerity.

"It's one thing to say it's all behind us, and out of the three it's the easiest to do, but accepting that and putting it into practice are two entirely different matters."

Quatre sighed sadly, "There're going to be a lot of people who'll need reassurance after this…" it sounded to Dante as though the young president had just given up on him, and suddenly Dante wanted to take back what had been done. But he shook his head. That was just silly, this is what he and his people wanted, what they had worked towards for three years, there was no going back now.

He blinked in surprise, realising that Quatre was once more speaking to him, "It was you wasn't it, who took Relena…" it was not really a question.

Dante knew that had been coming for a while, "Yes," he replied softly knowing there was no denying it now.

The young president looked truly shocked, believing it already or not, hearing confirmation put everything into a whole different light. "Why?" Quatre asked quietly.

"I needed the name of a Gundam pilot, something I was fairly sure Relena would know," he ran a hand down the side of his face, remembering the time he had spent with the princess. "I would have you know that I didn't resort to the VR right away, I explained everything to her, in the hopes that she would help of her own free will."

Quatre's expression had changed to utter disbelief as he stared out of the screen, and slowly he shook his head. "Why on earth would you have needed her for that when you had Heero all that time?"

"He didn't exactly make the fact that he was a Gundam pilot public knowledge," Dante told him, his voice taking on a rather regretful note.

"Where is he now?" Quatre demanded eyes suddenly bright, almost as if everything that happened before had been forgotten. And Dante did not miss the spark of anger and betrayal burning in the back of the young man's aqua orbs.

"He's safe," was all Dante felt comfortable saying, "Mr President, we'll be in touch, but if you will excuse me, there is still one more call I have to make."

Quatre seemed for a moment to be on the verge of refusing his request, perhaps to demand more information, but finally he nodded, and the connection was terminated. Dante sighed falling back in his chair, eyes immediately seeking out Ash's face. "Thought I was going to have to step in there for a moment," Ash commented, eyes looking up from the smaller screen he had been watching, his face not looking quite as amused as it had before the phone call. 

Dante rubbed at his eyes with one hand, a tired sigh escaping his lips, "No it's alright, it's just that face…"

"Probably practices it. You should ask him sometime." Ash offered in a complete deadpan, which was what got Dante laughing despite the moment.

"The things you think up," Dante chuckled, offering his friend a smile for his efforts. For his part Ash just shrugged, face wearing his usual mischievous expression.

Pulling his leg off the arm, Ash leaned forward in his seat, "Are you ready for the next? It won't be as easy as this one was."

"I know…" he responded calmly resolute, "Shall we begin?"

"Whenever you're ready," Ash returned; one hand reached for a small panel on Dante's desk. At the leader's nod, he pressed a small switch, "Milo, we're ready patch the link through." 

"Right away sir," the young man's voice spoke over a little speaker, and Ash sat back once more resuming his original position.

Dante was given a moment to readjust himself in his seat, needlessly straightening his coat, before the screen on his desk lit up once more. This time to reveal a long conference room table lined with more people than Dante had originally expected. He recognised all of them, from Lady Une, to Relena, and her brother, also among the group were all of Relena's remaining bodyguards. That seemed an odd addition to such a meeting but even more so was Sally Po's presence, what was a doctor doing at the table? 

He was not given anymore time to ponder as his presence became known and Une spoke without hesitation. "Ah Dante, just the man I wanted to speak to." Out of the corner of his eye Dante caught Ash shivering, Une's voice sounded terrifyingly calm. "What the hell are you thinking!" she bit out her expression still calm, though her voice now betrayed the emotions she was working hard to keep in check.

"What would you have said if I had come to you directly?" he questioned back with as much calm, it was something he had tried to do more than one occasion, but he had never been able to get anywhere.

"We would have told you the peace was far too fragile to have colonies trying to break away," Zechs growled out, ice blue eyes shooting daggers right through the screen.

Dante shook his head, "It's been three years, the peace isn't going to fall away beneath our feet. The people are ready to handle this," of this Dante was sure, he just needed to make all of them see that.

"I don't see how that could possibly have been your decision to make!" Duo barked clearly tired of keeping his peace.

"Neither is it a bodyguard's place to question what I choose to do for my people," folding his hands before Dante leaned forward slightly, "But none of this really matters now, the fact of the matter is it's done, and there's no going back now. I have declared my intentions, that be to keep the peace and govern my colony as I see fit, none of which I assure you will lead to war." 

"You're right, none of this does matter now," Une took up the conversation eyes glancing over to both Zechs and Duo, it seemed to Dante that she had taken it upon herself—perhaps as the most level headed—to do the talking. "What does matter is the fact that you kidnapped Relena, and that in itself is an act of terrorism. Something you, a peace loving man should have done anything to avoid."

Her words stuck straight and true, hitting Dante right at his core, some of the pain it caused he let show on his face, as he really had not wanted to take Relena. "Yes that…" he said slowly blue eyes looking over to the very girl in question who watched him with mixed emotions. "I apologise for having to resort to such tactics, but I assure you I did explain everything to Relena, and requested her assistance before finally resorting to VR."

"That information is far too compromising to simply give to anyone," a soft but compelling voice spoke up as Relena leaned forward on the table, a spark of life in her eyes. 

"I understand that," Dante began, but was quickly cut off by a once more angered Duo.

"Obviously you don't!" he slammed a hand down on the table, face red with anger, "If you did you wouldn't have pressed for it, you wouldn't have done this! You wouldn't have brought _him_ into it!" there was no mistaking which 'him' Duo meant.

But Dante merely nodded, not letting anything show, "Speaking of bringing people into this, if the information pertaining to the Gundams is so dangerous, what, may I ask, are you're bodyguards doing here? Surely this can't possibly concern them…" despite the cool face he was setting forward Dante felt anything but calm, but calm was what he needed to be in these moments.

"It doesn't matter why we're here, we are" Wufei spoke up, "And it no longer matters that the information got out, there's nothing we can do about it now. My question is, why didn't you just use Heero to begin with, he was working for you, and leave Relena out of this."

"As I told Quatre, Heero didn't make that information known to us," that small amount of information left the rest of the room in stunned silence.

Une was the first to recover from the shock, and hit him with something he had not been expecting, "Are you admitting to harbouring a known fugitive?" She looked at him with an almost sad expression in her eyes, and a certain amount of disappointment, which rivalled Quatre's for potency. "That doesn't look good, Dante…"

"Peace can't exist without rules, and working governments," Zechs put in on Une's lingering silence, eyes not looking at Dante, but rather studiously watching the far wall, as though he were seeing something else. "For a man so for the peace, I would have thought you'd know better…"

"I believe in the peace," Dante stated, "But I also believe in second chances--"

"Would he have given me a second chance?!" Relena demanded her voice trembling but still strong.

Dante's voice took on a gentle note as he spoke directly to her; he knew how Heero really felt, even though he couldn't begin to understand. "I'd say the fact that you're here now, would be your second chance…" A part of him wanted to ask her, to see if she knew he was still in love with her, but he could not bring himself to speak the words, Heero must have had his reason. "He didn't hurt the peace while he was with me--"

"He must answer for his crimes," Trowa said, softly yet pointedly.

"I believe he already has," that was the utter truth, from all that Ash had told him, Dante knew Heero was beating himself up rather badly for all that happened.

"Unfortunately," Une broke in, "that's not a matter for you to decided, where is Yuy now?"

"I don't intend to disclose that information," he told them all resolutely.

Une nodded as though she had been expecting that, "Not that we want it to come to this, but we do have the means to search your colony if it comes to that."

"As an independent nation, I'm now outside your jurisdiction. I don't intend to close off from the rest of the ESUN over this, but I also don't intend to hand Heero over to you."

Zechs' eye blue eyes locked on Dante's; "You aren't doing yourself any favours by refusing us this. We have a right to the answers he has, and to see that he meets with the proper justice."

"I'll let him know that," he leaned back in his chair once more, "But I intend to do what I feel is right. I've accepted everyone who sought out this colony for asylum, I won't turn him away simply because the act he committed fell outside the bounds of the war. To me that's just splitting hairs." He sighed softly looking everyone in the face as best he could, "I've said my piece, all I'll be doing now is repeating myself, I believe we all have a few tough days ahead, but I'm completely confident that our people will surprise us and the peace will remain. Now unless there are any other questions, I'm afraid I have much work to do…" Dante waited out the silence for several seconds before terminating the connection.

"They're all around her…" Ash breathed with a certain amount of disbelief in his voice, Dante looked to his friend with exhausted eyes.

"What?"

Ash looked at Dante excitement in his hazel eyes, "There's a perfectly logical reason why Relena's bodyguards were present," he began coming to his feet, "Did you see their eyes?"

Dante looked up at his friend curiously, "Can't say I was really paying all that much attention to details."

"They're just like Heero's," he folded his arms across his chest, with quite a bit of satisfaction, "They all have that same looked about them, They're the other--"

"Gundam pilots?" Dante finished with some disbelief, he didn't know why that should be so shocking, considering Heero, but it still was.

"I'd bet my life on it!"

Thanks for Reading!

** **

Silent Apologies:

"Do you know why…" a harsh voice finally spoke up, and Dante's head snapped back around to see Heero's face contorted with rage. "Do you have any idea why we destroyed all information on the Gundams? Why, even when you had Relena, she didn't give me over to you?!" the last was said with such bitter self hatred, that Dante was left stunned.

"They're a uniting figure, something to give power to even the smallest rebellious group, searching for anything to draw more numbers to their ranks." Heero's hands clenched into tight fist, "Do you even realise what you've unleashed?"

"Relax," Dante was quick to placate, "All the information of the Gundam's schematics was not saved in any hard form, there is nothing left for anyone to get."

"And the men?" Heero demanded back quickly.

"I would trust each and everyone of them with my life, they are good men," he hoped his words would assure Heero, but some how he doubted there was much that would.

Morganeth Taren'drel 


	17. Silent Apologies

****

Mistaken Words

AN: I hope you enjoyed the last chapter, and this one also! I'm working really hard on the next, but there's an incredibly difficult conversation in it…one that I unfortunately can't avoid, I'll work to have it out to all of you as soon as I can! thanks again for your patience, and reviews they're wonderful!

Disclaimer: Don't own!

****

Silent Apologies

Ash stood outside the glass window looking in on the man lying there, it had been three days since Heero's fever finally broke, signalling the end of the withdrawal, at least the worst of it. But he still had yet to wake. Despite his reservations about being around the Japanese man, Ash found himself continually coming to stand outside Heero's room, hazel eyes looking in. It had been a week since Dante announced to the world that 'Freedom's Point' decided to separate from the rest of the ESUN. And though the uproar over such an act was still ruling the airwaves twenty-four/seven, nothing really serious had happened because of it.

That was as much due to the fast work of Zechs and Quatre as it was the strength of their peace. Ash remained confident along side Dante, that the peace would hold, and the world would be able to move on past the shock, to acceptance. Most of that was all in Dante's hands now, besides being the breaker of tension, and the giver of reassurances Ash had little more to do with this business. Which was one of the reasons—he figured—that he continually ended up here, standing outside Heero's room, a part of him wishing he could just go in.

He was shocked from his thoughts when he saw Heero move, a slight shift was more like it, strapped down as he was there wasn't much he could do. Ash had tried to get them off of him once the fever had broke, but the doctor and nurses would have none of that. They were terrified of him, and until they knew he was fully aware they weren't about to change anything. Without thinking Ash took a step back away from the unobstructed view Heero would have when his eyes opened, he hated himself for leaving, but he could not stay, he had no right. Slowly Heero's eyes flickered opened, and Ash knew he didn't have that much time, he'd have to act fast if he wanted to avert a disaster.

Walking with quick strides down the hall, Ash came to the nurses station, and was relieved to see Heero's doctor discussing something with the nurse seated there. Both looked up at his hurried approach, and he broke in on their conversation, "He's awake."

Dr Stevens smiled with some relief evident in his kindly eyes, "This is good to hear, have you spoken to him?"

Ash gave him a look of disbelief, "No," he told the man bluntly, but shook his head he could not take out his frustration on this man who couldn't possibly understand what was really going on. There were far more important matters to take care of, "Look you need to go in there and remove the restraints now," this time it was not a request.

"I'm afraid that's going to have to wait for a little while, I want to be sure he's not a danger to anyone especially my staff."

"Go in there, ask him! Make sure he's coherent, then release him," Ash couldn't help glancing back over his shoulder towards the room, hoping there was still time. "Trust me, you think he was bad before I can only imagine what he'd be like now, when he actually realises he being restrained."

The doctor walked towards Ash and motioned for the both of them to head back down the hall, Ash followed though unwillingly. "You aren't really helping your friends case here," Stevens told him softly, "Are you saying he's more of a danger to us now that he's awake, than when he was still going through withdrawal."

Ash pulled the man to a halt, "No, not exactly, before he was just reacting to what he perceived to be a threat against him. Now he's going to know exactly what's going on, and he won't be happy," Ash's eyes travelled back to that room. "Trust me on this, if you want a fairly easy patient to work with, just do what I say. He's never liked doctor's and getting off on the wrong foot isn't going to make any of our lives easier."

"Alright I'm listening, what is it you want me to do?"

"Just go in there and make sure he's fully conscious, once you know he is, release the restraints and leave," Dr Stevens seemed about to object there, but Ash road over what he was going to say. "Give him a few minutes to fully orient himself before you go back in there to perform any tests you feel are necessary, okay?"

The older man thought this through for a moment, eyeing Ash somewhat sceptically, "Alright, we'll try it your way, but if another of my nurses get hurt because of him--"

"Don't worry, he has better control than that when he knows what's actually going on," Ash defended his friend. Dr Steven's hesitated for a moment before continuing on down the hall, not seeming to notice that he now walked alone, Ash turned back towards the nurses station, and once there requested use of the phone. Dialling without really thinking about the number, he waited for Dante to pick up. He was rewarded on the third ring with the sound of his friends calm voice.

"Hello?"

"He's awake," he decided quick an to the point was best.

"Really? When?" Dante's voice had taken on a note of excitement, and Ash was pretty sure, dread. Dante had been working himself to this moment for days, and now that it was here, Ash was sure it would seem harder to face, than he had thought in his mind.

"About ten minutes ago," Ash told him eyes flickering to the room, wondering how things were going.

There was a moment's pause, "I take it you haven't spoken to him…" it wasn't a question.

"No, I sent in Dr Stevens to deal with him, I don't even know when he'll be ready to talk…"

"I'll come by later today, and see," this statement caught Ash completely off guard, he had not thought his friend would be ready despite his preparations.

Ash let out a sigh, "Alright, I'll talk to you later," he said by way of goodbye, and hung up the phone. For several moments he lingered in the hall, eyes staring fixedly at the opened door, where the doctor had disappeared moments before. He did not want to let Dante out do him, to buck up the courage so much faster, and face the moment they both feared. Yet at the same time, he knew he would not be able to walk into that room today, or the next for that matter. To actually stand there with Heero's accusing eyes levelled at him, it was not something he was sure he'd ever be ready for.

_::::::::_

Feeling like he was climbing out of a pool of water with tired muscles, Heero slowly pulled himself back to consciousness, one inch at a time. It was not as smooth a transitions as he was used to making, but his mind was simply too fuzzy to keep his body from shifting, and his readings level. His hearing was the first sense to clear, and he could hear the softly annoying beeping of his heart somewhere off to the side, there were various other random sounds which confirmed for him the fact that he was in the hospital.

Feeling came back next, and with it panic, shifting on the bed as much as he could, Heero found that wasn't very far at all, and it was not because he was weak. It was because he had been strapped down. Fighting back the almost overwhelming urge to break free, Heero instead concentrated on waking further hoping to better understand what the hell was going on. Without opening his eyes the room began to come into focus, as he sensed the space around him, he could feel a pare of eyes watching him intently from somewhere before him, and he wanted to know who it was. Slowly and with a monumental amount of effort Heero blinked his eyes opened, but he was blinded by the lights. Squinting through watery eyes Heero sought out the one whom he had felt, but there was no one there.

When his eyes had finally focused Heero looked down at himself, and the five point restraints that held him to the hospital bed. Tentatively he pulled against them testing to see how tight they were, he knew in his present state there was no way he could break them, but perhaps they were loose enough for him to slip his hand free. Heero was met with no such luck, the staff had been very meticulous with each buckle, they were well padded to prevent injury, but there was no give to them. Once more the panic rose with in him, but it was something he could control, could funnel into greater purpose. He used it to give himself energy, be it only adrenaline it didn't matter; it would be enough—he hoped—to see him through whatever was to come.

The door to his room was wide opened, and the way to his bed was blocked by numerous machines, tubes and wires. Heero spent several moments taking in all the details of his location, everything he could see from his prone position. Due to the restraints on his wrist the IV drip had been moved to the inside of his left elbow, the arm had been braced to remain straight, despite the fact that he couldn't bend it anyway. His continued scan of the room was interrupted by the sudden presence of another man. Heero's eyes instantly narrowed, at the sight of the doctor, a man in a white lab coat, he could be nothing else.

"So you are awake…" the doctor breathed as though confirming a suspicion, Heero merely watched the man with distrust clear in his cobalt eyes. The man came to a stop by Heero's left side, having navigated his way through the seemingly endless machines. "My name is Dr Stevens, do you know where you are?"

Heero continued to stare at the may not choosing to reply.

"Look son, I want to be able to remove those restraints, but I'm not going to do that until I know you understand what's going on." To Heero's ears the man didn't sound as eager as his words said, "So I'll ask again, do you know where you are?"

As much as Heero didn't want to deal with this man right now, just wanted to be left alone, he did want to be freed of these restraints, finally he nodded his head. The older doctor smiled at that though it seemed to Heero's eyes to be slightly nervous, "Do you remember what happened to bring you here?" The former pilot considered that question for a brief moment, and it didn't take much for it to all come back to him. He nodded his head yet again.

"Well son, you're far less talkative then I expected, but if you'll just relax I'll remove those bindings." Heero didn't really appreciate being called son by this man, but he wasn't about to verbally express that fact, he just wanted this doctor to leave. Relaxing the muscles he had not realised were tense Heero watched as the man hesitantly stepped closer to him, his hands moving to remove the first cuff. "Be careful of this arm" he said while working the buckle, "Don't damage your IV."

Heero rolled his eyes silently and continued to consider the man, it was obvious that he was nervous, if not completely scared, but what had caused that. Try as he might to remember the last few days, or weeks—he wasn't even sure which it was—all Heero's mind came back with was darkness, and memories he had wished to forget. With his arm free Heero pulled it too him—as much as he could with it strapped the way it was—and the doctor jumped. Quickly moving on Dr Stevens finished removing the straps at all times keeping at least one eye on Heero's face.

When he had finished Stevens came once more to stand at the left side of the bed albeit a little further way than he had been last time. "There are some standard test that we need to run, but those can wait for a few minutes while you fully wake," he informed softly, and not waiting for a reply simply turned to leave.

Once alone, Heero shifted in the bed attempting to find a more comfortable position anything from the one he had been lying in for who knows how long. Cold eyes sought out the controls for the bed, and he reached for them with his right arm, pressing the button to bring the bed to a near sitting positions. Almost instantly black spots appeared before his eyes, as Heero's heart attempted to compensate for the sudden change, he was relieved when they passed, and he had not been sucked into total blackness.

His eyes darted about the room once again now being able to see all around him, it didn't surprise him that there were no windows. Though he did wonder if that was a conscious effort, or whether his escaping had even been considered. At that thought Heero began to feel the need to be away from here, but as of that moment he knew he didn't have the strength to get very far. It would be possible to give himself a couple of days no matter how annoying these doctors could be. With yet another sigh he settled himself back on the bed with nothing more to do than wait.

_::::::::_

It was with purposeful strides that Dante made his way through the endlessly white hospital halls, his destination Heero's room. A place he was both eager and dreading to arrive at. To be there meant the time had come to finally speak to the former pilot, and as much as he was nervous Dante also knew he'd be relieved to have this out. He had phoned ahead before coming and was glad, though not really surprised to hear that Heero was still awake. His doctor seemed rather taken aback by this fact though, but then he didn't really know Heero _Neither do you_ Dante told himself darkly.

Before he had been put into VR all Dante had known was what Ash told him, and little of that made sense, the boy was an enigma it was just that simple. No amount of contemplation's would make him any clearer to the people around him. However he had been allowed a rare—though not at all consented too—glimpse into Heero's mind, and the experience had left him stunned for days. As he had been wondering whether or not to let the young man know what he had seen, was it right to keep such knowledge from him? But at the same time what would telling him accomplish? Nothing more than leaving him to feel vulnerable, and violated. It had been with that realisation that Dante chose not to mention his little trip into Heero's memories.

Dante pushed his way through the glass doors, which had stopped Ash almost a week before, he was resolved to what was going to happen, and was not about to let himself delay any longer. He nodded briefly to the nurse sitting behind the desk, diligently working on her computer, and continued on his way without a word, wanting no interruptions. Despite his eagerness to make it to Heero, Dante found the hall to his room disturbingly shorter than it should have been. Within seconds he was standing just off to one side of the door leading in, his eyes yet unable to see the former pilot.

Drawing a calming breath, Dante set his shoulders and rounded the corner, eyes falling upon a sight her had not expected to see, and he halted in the door, waiting for his mind to register. Heero lay in the large hospital bed, which had been raised to almost sitting, a few pieces of plastic and Velcro straps lay off to one side, and he was concentrating on the inside of his left elbow. Dante blinked realising what the young man was doing, "Perhaps you should leave that in there until you're sure you can hold down food," Dante comment without thought.

His words brought Heero's head up with a snap, and his already dark features pulled into a glare Dante had never been forced to face before, "Get out!" he grated in a low voice, which sounded gravely from to much time of no use.

With strength and conviction, that Dante did not know the origins of, he stepped into the room, and closed the door behind him. He did not come altogether close to Heero, but at the same time Dante made it clear he wasn't going to leave. "We need to talk," he told Heero simply, pale blue eyes meeting icy cobalt.

"I have nothing to say to you!" he spat voice still not raising, but some how managing to be more unnerving then someone yelling at the top of their lungs.

"Well I want to speak to you," he countered come yet another step closer, noticing now all the almost mangled wires that lay about the room, he hadn't noticed upon first entering but all the machines were utterly silent. "I wanted to apologise for having to resort to such tactics," Dante knew the apology would probably have no meaning to Heero, but it was true, had he been able to avoid using the VR, he certainly would have.

Heero merely continued to glare nothing on him moving it was impossible to tell what he was thinking or feeling. Dante wished he would say something, anything, at least then he might have something to work with other than this silence. He had truly hoped they'd be able to have a conversation, even if one side was yelling, at least he'd be able to get everything out in the opened. As things stood now, Dante wasn't even sure Heero was listening, or that what he was saying was actually sinking in.

Dante sighed, and decided there was really nothing he could do but continue, "I've made my announcement to the world, and you'll be relieved to know the Gundam was destroyed, the peace is still intact." For an instant Dante thought he saw a flash of something in the former pilots eyes, a spark of life perhaps, of understanding, it was a sign that what he was saying was actually sinking in.

He held his breath hoping for a verbal reaction, for something to blossom from that tiny reaction, but it seemed nothing was to come. The Japanese man continued to stare in silence, face a mask, though indeed a dark one. Dante released his held breath with a sigh raking a hand through his hair eyes glancing away from the stony youth.

"Do you know why…" a harsh voice finally spoke up, and Dante's head snapped back around to see Heero's face contorted with rage. "Do you have any idea why we destroyed all information on the Gundams? Why, even when you had Relena, she didn't give me over to you?!" the last was said with such bitter self hatred, that Dante was left stunned.

"They're a uniting figure, something to give power to even the smallest rebellious group, searching for anything to draw more numbers to their ranks." Heero's hands clenched into tight fist, "Do you even realise what you've unleashed?"

"Relax," Dante was quick to placate, "All the information of the Gundam's schematics was not saved in any hard form, there is nothing left for anyone to get."

"And the men?" Heero demanded back quickly.

"I would trust each and everyone of them with my life, they are good men," he hoped his words would assure Heero, but some how he doubted there was much that would.

The Japanese man opened his mouth as if to ask yet another question, but a look of suspicion took his features for a brief second, and he seemed to reconsider. "You should have left it alone, you had no right to…" he trailed off, far to angry to continue.

For a moment Dante was left speechless not knowing what he could say or do, that could possibly ease the tension that had quick suddenly filled the room. However nothing was coming to mind, potentially anything he said might make matters worse, and he doubted this stress was doing the former pilot much good. "Heero I've asked Dr Stevens to give you as much space as possible, no one here is going to try and keep you here if you choose to leave. But I'd prefer if you wait until they've given their approval…"

Heero's eyes flickered at that, but it was to fast for Dante to gleam what he was thinking, he did feel it couldn't be good though. He took a step back, away from the bed, and back towards the closed door, "I've had a substantial amount of money, put into your account," Dante began softly eyes no longer looking at the other man. "No I'm not trying to pay you off for what happened, I just want to make sure if you want to leave, you'll have the means to do so, though you'll always be welcomed here."

Not surprising Heero's response was a silent one, and Dante glancing once more at the former pilot before quietly leaving the room. He wished he had something more to offer, but there was nothing, and he knew it. Dante took several steps down the hall, before looking back over his shoulder towards Heero's room, "I'm sorry…" he whispered.

_::::::::_

_Ash walked with feet that felt like lead towards Dante's office; his mind had been heavily laden with thoughts of Heero over the last few days, and his heart heavy with guilt. It had been two days since he had gone to see Heero in the hospital, only to have the former pilot finally wake up, and during that time Ash had not been able to make himself return. His guilt was born of both self-loathing, and fear, through the three years Ash had know Heero, he had inserted himself rather deeply into the Japanese man's life. Or at least as deeply as Heero would allow him, which wasn't really that deep at all. But he had done his best to make sure his friend ate and slept, as all normal people needed to do._

And now look what it had led him too. Ash had never asked Heero if he wanted the concern—the almost mother like badgering—he had just given it, seeing that this lonely young man needed someone to look out for him. He supposed it was the fact that he didn't ask, that allowed him to continue with his prodding. Ash had caught Heero quite off guard with his forward nature, telling him exactly what he didn't necessarily want to hear, without a care for the consequences that might have come.

It gnawed at him deeply that he wasn't there for Heero now, when he could use a friend, though Ash had no right to call himself such. But what right did he have to simply barge in there as though the last few weeks hadn't happened, as though he had not helped to force his friend into bondage. It had not been lasting, but they had done the unspeakable during that time, and raped his mind for the information they had desperately sought. There was no hope to apologise for that…

In his mind Ash continually saw images of Heero lying there alone, the picture was far more pathetic than the reality Ash knew, but that didn't stop his mind from conjuring such thoughts. He used them to punish himself, telling himself if he could only pluck up the courage, he might be able to make this period a little easier for Heero. But even the guilt and nightmares weren't enough, nothing could get him past the fact that he had no right to be there.

Ash's mind was drowned so deep in though that he did not even notice Samantha's eyes on him as he walked past the desk, making his distracted way to Dante's office. His head came up as he reached the door, and he pushed his way in unannounced, he had never needed to give Dante warning before he came, they were too close of friends for that. The leader of the Free Born was sitting behind his large desk in a relaxed manner, as Ash stepped in closing the door behind him. But there was something about the set of his features that almost made Ash nervous. He stood there for a moment in silence, studying but unable to place his finger on it; he simply crossed the room to a seat, and dropped down in his usual manner.

"You look like hell," Dante told him bluntly his face a serious mask, as he leaned across the table scrutinising Ash's face.

Ash shrugged him off, "Just haven't really been sleeping all that well…" his eyes didn't really look at Dante but rather sought out the unobstructed window. "How's Heero?" he asked without thought, and immediately regretted it, what right did he have to know?

Ash missed the almost mischievous glint in Dante's eyes, "I'm glad you asked actually, Dr. Stevens just called," that brought Ash's eyes back to his friends face, "It seems he's concerned about Heero's recovery--"

"Why? What's happened?" all thoughts of guilt fled in the face of concern.

Dante raised a hand to silence Ash's questions, "Relax, it's nothing major really, only Heero's been very agitated since waking, and because of this he hasn't been allowing himself to sleep. I had asked Dr Stevens to give Heero as much space as possible in the hopes that would help…but it hasn't appear to. In fact Heero has extended the distance, not allowing any of them near him with a syringe." Dante rolled his eyes at that, and quickly continued, "So they can't give him a sedative to help him rest."

Releasing a breath he had not realised he had been holding, Ash lessened his grip on the armrests, "That doesn't really surprise me," he commented trying to sound calm. "Heero's never liked being in a position like that."

"I know," Dante agreed coming to his feet, "Which is why I want you to go there for a while."

Ash was already shaking his head before Dante had finished, "No, that won't help him any," he shuddered internally at the thought, a strong fear gripping his gut at the thought of seeing the Japanese man again.

"On the contrary I think it would help a lot, for both of you," he added the last pointedly.

Coming to his feet also, Ash found himself speaking with anger in his voice, though it was not directed at his friend but himself. "I have no right to go in there! I can't help him!" he made to leave the office but Dante's quiet words stopped him.

"Dr Stevens also told me how you managed to calm Heero, even when he was in withdrawal, when nothing else had been able to reach him…"

Ash stood there one hand resting on the smooth surface of the wooden door, head bowed eyes hidden from sight. "That doesn't mean anything," he whispered, "He wasn't aware of what was said or who said it…"

"I think he was," Dante returned gently, "I think he'd welcome the company, and I definitely think you need to face him."

"I don't have the right…" Ash sighed punching the door with his fist, before turning around to flop back against it.

Dante wore a gentle smile on his face, "You underestimate his forgiveness I think."

"Did he forgive you?"

"I never expected him too," Dante told him honestly, "I was never the friend Heero needed, he never trusted me like he trusted you."

"All the more reason for him not to forgive me," Ash shot back bitterly.

But Dante was shaking his head, "Quite the opposite I think, despite the fact Heero's never openly admitted it, I know he trusts you, considers you a friend and ally. Someone he needed to stand by him through these three years. What happened two weeks ago hasn't changed that need."

Ash looked away still unconvinced, his mind screaming at him that it wasn't possible, that he had no right. "Ash…" Dante bade softly, slowly he looked over to his friend, "This was never a request, it's an assignment."

For a moment Ash stood there stunned finding it hard to believe Dante would actually pull that card. He could still try and refuse, obviously, but something inside him would allow him to do that. Bitterly he swore under his breath using the length and breadth of his vocabulary, enough to make even Dante's eyes widen.

"I know this is what you want, even if you still can't admit it to yourself."

Ash blinked away the memory, hazel eyes looking at the glass door he once more stood paralysed outside. A part of his mind still found it hard to believe Dante had managed to coheres him into coming here, and he wondered how long Dante had been planing for that. Ash was no longer sure how long he had been standing there, but it was long enough that the people moving around were not giving him those odd looks. With a frustrated sigh Ash forced himself to step forward, he didn't have the option of turning and leaving, not now when Dante had assigned him to this. And despite his nerves and guilt, Ash couldn't deny he did want to be there for Heero.

With a nod of his head Ash passed the station, noting an almost relieved light coming into the nurses eyes. He didn't bother to stop and ask any questions, knowing a delay now would keep him from ever getting into Heero's room. He had to keep walking while his body was doing all the work, and his brain hadn't caught up to stop him. Ash could have sworn someone changed the length of the hall each time he came back here, sometimes it was too short, and others monumentally long as it was today. Ash tired to cover the distance quickly, but his feet seemed weighted as they had that morning, and it was almost as if he were moving in slow motion. But at least he was moving, and the room drew ever closer.

Finally Ash's mind caught up, and seemed to think better of his previous decision, pulling him to a halt right outside Heero's door. He felt a wash of relief fall over him, at the tiny delay, along with a spark of nerves, Ash knew he would not be able to remain outside forever. With a sigh Ash gripped the frame of the door, and pulled himself around it, allowing his eyes to fall upon a wakeful Heero for the first time. What he saw there caught him entirely off guard.

Heero was not lying down on the bed as Ash would have expected, but rather was sitting on the edge working at the shoelaces of one shoe. He looked disturbingly pale to Ash's hazel eyes but at least he was up and moving about. Heero was still wearing the white quick snap pants; Dante had had him in during VR, however the thin white coat, and been replaced with a plain black T-shirt. Ash studied his friend in the silent moments while Heero was still unaware, noticing a certain strain in his shoulders that had not been there before. Heero was on edge, it was easy for Ash to see, and he also knew why, but he didn't think there was much he could do to lessen that for Heero.

Just at that moment Heero's head shot up, turning quickly towards the door, his expression a dark glare. Instantly Ash regretted coming as he had been positive he would, nothing had been said and already Heero was making it clear he didn't want Ash there. It seemed to take Heero a moment for his eyes to focus once he was looking as Ash, and when he did, his whole demeanour changed. That tension left his shoulders, and it was as if he breathed a sigh of relief, "Ash…" his voice almost whispered with surprise.

Heero's features were drawn, pale but the glare was gone replaced by a look Ash knew all to well, it was the mask, emotionless, and steady. It shocked Ash to his core that Heero had done almost exactly what Dante had told him he would, yet still Ash could see a strong look of unease around Heero's eyes something he wasn't entirely able to hide. He wanted to be away from here, and would not rest until he could _or realises he can't…_ Ash thought to himself an idea slowly forming. As much as he wanted Heero to be away from here, and things hopefully return back to normal, he didn't want the Japanese man endangering himself. And the only way Ash could see to accomplish this was to prove to Heero that he was not yet well enough to leave.

He stepped a little deeper into the room, and Heero returned his attention to his other shoe, closer now, Ash could not miss the tremble in the former pilot's limbs, as he worked at tightening the laces. He was clearly forcing himself, but Dante had made the promise that they would not try to stop him, and that's exactly what Ash planed to do. "I'll go take care of the paperwork if that's alright with you?" Ash offered his voice surprisingly smooth considering how he was feeling inside.

Heero's hands halted and he looked up once more; again his eyes took a moment to focus, and Ash thought he noted a little frustration deep within those cobalt eyes. Finally he just nodded his head, not bothering to use words. Heero had always been a man of few words, and this was not the only time Ash wished he were a little more conversational, he wanted to know things were alright, despite the fact that they couldn't possibly be. Satisfying himself with the only response he was going to get, Ash moved back out into the hall, glad at least to have made it this far, and to be given a moment to compose himself before he'd be back in Heero's presence.

Quickly Ash made his way back to the nurses station, only to find Dr Stevens walking towards the double glass doors, on his way to lunch most likely. "Dr Stevens," Ash called to the man's back bringing him up, "A moment please?" the older man came to a halt turning, and didn't look to please at the interruption.

"What is it?" Stevens asked with barely contained irritation.

"Heero's leaving," Ash told him simply, almost smirking at the doctor's expression…almost.

"What? He's not well enough to be leaving right now!" the doctor seemed ready to march right back down the hall, and tell Heero just that, but Ash put out his hand to stop him.

"Don't forget, Dante told you not to stop him if he wanted to leave," Stevens opened his mouth to protest clearly his doctors oath overriding his wariness of Heero. "Don't worry," Ash was quick to continue, "I'm going with him, I doubt he's going to make it very far, but the only way to convince him to stay here and rest is to let him prove to himself that he can't leave just yet."

The older man seemed to consider this for a moment, eyes flickering down the hall before they return to Ash's face. "Alright, we'll be ready for you," Stevens eyes were obviously still considering what Ash had told him, and finally he shook his head with a soft laugh, "A lot like a child…"

Ash blinked at that statement, but couldn't deny the similarities, Heero was just that stubborn, it didn't matter how many people told him he couldn't do something he had to see for himself. The only difference was, Heero quite often proved them wrong, and as unlikely as he thought that would be right now, Ash almost hoped Heero would prove them wrong again. "You might want a sedative ready, this might be the only time you can give him one…" Stevens nodded mutely, and Ash turned to make his way back to Heero.

When he turned the corner yet again Heero was standing beside his bed, one hand resting on the rail, appearing to bear a good deal of his weight. "You ready to go?" Ash asked softly, once again he noted that subtle tension leave Heero's slim shoulders, and he felt so unworthy to be the one who could help Heero in that way.

"Yeah…" Heero responded after a moment keeping his head down, as though he were afraid to move it. Ash wait by the door for Heero to come to him, he didn't want to rush in there and make the Japanese man think he was hovering, but then again he didn't want to have so much distance between them that he wouldn't be able to catch him if he should fall. Heero's steps were surprisingly determined as he pushed off the bed and made his way over.

Heero walked past without a word his right hand almost subconsciously reaching towards the doorframe as if he intended to support himself, but at the last second he withdrew it, and stepped through. Ash tried to decide what he was feeling in those moments as he followed behind the much smaller Japanese man, while they made their slow way down the hall. Matters seemed—at least on the outside—to be very much as they ever were, Ash did what was needed without permission, and Heero silently accepted. For that Ash was grateful, he almost felt as though he could forget what had brought them to this moment, and move on. Yet at the same time he knew Heero could not forget so easily, and though he hadn't said anything Ash would have been quite the fool to believe it was all over.

Together they walked silently past the nurses station Dr Stevens was nowhere to be found, and the young nurse was studiously watching her computer monitor. Heero pushed his way though the glass doors, and stopped for a moment searching his surrounding for the quickest exit. Ash was about to speak up, pointing him in the right direction when Heero began walking just where Ash had been going to tell him. As they made their way towards the elevator Ash carefully watched Heero's movements noticing the growing tremble in his legs, and the sweat which stood out on his brow. He began to suspect Heero didn't have much strength left in him.

Once in the elevator Heero leaned heavily against the wall leaving it to Ash to press the button for the main floor. For a moment Ash almost found himself telling Heero what a stupid idea this was, that he shouldn't be going out now, that he should be resting. But he stopped himself well before the worlds ever made it from his mind to his throat; he had no right to interject such opinions on Heero. With an obvious effort Heero pushed himself off the wall as the elevator came to a stop, and he wavered where he stood, causing every muscle in Ash to tense, as he readied himself to lung forward. However much to his surprise and relief Heero managed to keep his feet and walked out.

But it wasn't to last, Heero walked with determined, if not shaking strides towards the main exit, gaining about a third of the distance before his strength finally gave out, and he collapsed. His small form fell forward towards the polished tiles, and Ash rushed forward to catch him, scooping Heero up into his arms. He found himself in shock, at how little Heero weighed, it felt almost as though he wasn't caring anyone at all. Heero's head turned slowly until his eyes were on Ash, but they did not remain open for long.

Ash made his way back to the elevator quickly; sending away the worried staff who came to his aid, with a look and a shake of his head. He was greatly unnerved by the furious beating of Heero's heart, and he waited in terse silence, hoping it would slow itself down. The ride back up seemed eternally longer than it had the way down, mostly because Ash wanted to know that Heero would be alright. His long legs carried him quickly away from the elevator and back to the glass doors they had only recently left through. Pushing his way through with his shoulder Ash brought about the eyes of two nurses and Dr Stevens.

"How far did he get?" Dr Stevens asked coming towards Ash.

"About a third of the way to the exit," that brought a shocked expression to the doctor's face.

"Alright bring him back to his room," the older man lead the way walking about a half a step before Ash, back over his shoulder he called to one of the nurses. "Elie bring the cart, we might as well take advantage of the situation," the last was directed to Ash.

Looking down at his unconscious friend Ash spoke, "I take it he hasn't been the easiest of patients," there was no doubt in his mind about that, he only wondered how bad it was.

"He hasn't let us near him since he woke," Dr Stevens informed, "You told me he'd be difficult but I hadn't really been prepared."

Ash was surprised that he actually found himself chuckling at that, as they turned into Heero's room, and he was able to lay his light burden back on the bed. Dr Stevens quickly moved to Heero's side raising his wrist to check his pulse. Ash quite quickly found himself pinned between the bed and Elie who came walking in with the desired medical items, doing his best to slip away without causing too much trouble. Ash made his way around to the other side of the bed, watching in silence as they began their examination.

Almost as an after thought Ash began removing Heero's carefully tied up shoes, he listened without really hearing to what Stevens and the nurse had to say as they worked, but for the most part his eyes remained locked on Heero's face. It didn't take them long to finish the exam, and the last thing Dr Stevens did before leaving was inject a sedative into Heero's arm. He paused at the door for a moment eyes looking to Ash, "Are you going to be here for a while?"

"Until he wakes," Ash replied.

"Good let me know when he does, I'd like him to eat something," he waited just long enough to see Ash silently nod before he disappeared.

Ash moved slowly back around to the other side of the bed, finding there was more room there to place one of the chairs that had been pushed up against the wall. But before he settled himself in for what would most likely be a long wait, Ash carefully straightened the blankets that were draped over Heero's thin form. _I'm sorry_ he thought finally, part of him not wanting to give voice to those words, as it seemed pointless now that Heero couldn't hear.

_::::::::_

It was the early evening, and Ash was about to start flipping through the same magazine for about the fourteenth time, when Heero suddenly stirred in his bed. Ash's head shot up unable to believe Heero would be waking already. He had been absolutely exhausted, and had been given a sedative on top of that Ash found it hard to believe—even for Heero—that he could be coming around so soon. Coming to his feet Ash watched in silence, and Heero began to shift more his movements becoming jerky and clearly agitated.

Suddenly his eyes flew opened panic filling them; Ash was shocked as he looked down at his friend seeing now that he wasn't fully aware. "It's alright…" he told Heero softly. Cobalt eyes flickered to Ash's face, unfocused but clearly intent and the panic quickly faded allowing Heero to slip back into a restful sleep.

For a long time Ash just stood there looking down at Heero's sleeping form, watching the slow but steady rise and fall of his chest. Why was it that Heero allowed himself to relax in Ash's presence? It was something Ash would have dearly loved to ask the Japanese man; had there been a way to do it. However a part of him was fairly sure Heero wasn't even aware that Ash's presence had that effect on him. Sighing softly Ash once more resumed his seat, though he did not pick up the magazine again, rather he continued his silent vigil over Heero.

_::::::::_

Heero felt the weight of sleep slide from his mind but a groggy mist remained hovering about his thoughts, in a way that was all to familiar to him. He had been drugged, there was no mistaking that feel, the sense that half of his mind was floating outside of the confinement of his body. It was not a feeling Heero appreciated, and he tired to fight it off, hoping that there wasn't much of the sedative left in his system, but his internal struggles seemed to get him no closer to full wakefulness. With some frustration Heero considered letting himself drop back into the blackness, and sleep the rest of the drug off.

However something kept him from doing just that, the presence of another person in the room, another person besides Ash. It unnerved Heero somewhat, with how much he had come to accept Ash as an ally despite what had happened between them. That betrayal had hurt him, but Heero could not deny to himself—though he would never admit it out loud—that he needed someone there to watch his back. Like the other pilots, Ash's presence was something accepted without a second thought, something that was so very much like their own…

Heero fought to free his mind of such thoughts, not wanting to dwell on matters that he could no longer change. Instead he focused his limited attention on the presence that had stopped him from slipping into his dreamless world. It was the doctor, one of the last men Heero wanted to be dealing with right now, so he continued to feign sleep in the hopes that the man would leave before long. To his advantage, the longer he remained in this fake sleep, the more his mind woke up, and he could hear that Ash and the doctor were discussing something, yet his mind was still too buried in fog to understand.

Finally Heero felt Stevens leave the room, and he found himself forcing his eyes to open, despite the effort it was taking. Something had just occurred to his tired mind, and he wanted to see if his assumption was true. Letting his head drop to one side on the pillow, Heero managed to open his eyes a crack though they did not want to focus, right away. Ash gasped in surprise, and Heero could make out his blurred form leaning forward on the edge of his seat, "It's good to see you're finally awake," Ash told him softly.

Waiting the brief moment it too for his vision to finally clear before he spoke his thoughts, "You knew…" he accused softly

Ash blinked, emotions racing across his face in rapid succession, but Heero's mind was too tired to process them. "I suspected," Ash corrected voice decidedly more subdued than normal.

That was the confirmation he had been expecting, but it led him to more questions. Ash's assistance with his attempted 'escape' hadn't at all fit with what Heero had been expecting. At any other time Ash would have quickly told him what a fool he was being, and would probably have tried to hold him down while the doctor drugged him. So why the sudden change? when he had been fairly sure Heero wouldn't even make it? Heero shifted in the bed rolling onto his side, so it was easier for him to see the other man.

"But you let me go anyway…" Heero's tired voice didn't phrase it like a question, but it was clear nonetheless that he was looking for an answer.

Ash's hazel eyes looked away, as he leaned forward in his seat, "I didn't think you'd rest until you knew your limits," he replied simply.

Heero stared at Ash for a long moment, finding it hard to believe how well this man knew him, without really knowing him at all. Much like when he had first been around the other pilots…

_Heero sat up on the small cot, cobalt eyes staring at the floor intently, it was not a place he wanted to end up, yet remaining where he was, was no longer an option either. He had been lying on this bed for near two months, and it was high time he left it—and the people who brought him too it— behind. Heero wasn't comfortable in the presence of others, he had always much preferred to work alone. This wasn't to say he didn't see the uses of a team, only for the most part Heero believed he was better equipped to handle matters on his own._

With a hand that was trembling, but only with anticipation, or at least that's what Heero kept telling himself. He threw back the blankets, which had covered him, and made to shift his legs to the floor. His joints were stiff from lack of use, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been as Trowa had worked them carefully over time. Almost as if the thought had summoned him, Heero looked up to see Trowa leaning against the doorframe. His expression was blank, and no amount of staring would allow any glimpse into what he was thinking.

But somehow through that expressionless mask, Heero got the distinct impression that Trowa didn't approve of what he was about to do. Despite that Heero continued forward stifling a groan as he shifted his left arm, Heero reached out with his right to grip the wall using it to help him stand. His heart pounded as he stood, and he could feel his pulse beat painfully in his still healing injuries. But that was quickly washed away with the satisfaction brought on by the fact that he was standing. Yet the satisfaction was short lived as his legs betrayed him and he fell forward into Trowa's waiting arms.

He looked up at the taller man with a glare, only to receive a mysterious smirk in return; "I've been waiting a week for you too do that…" Heero stiffened in the other man's arms, but allowed himself to be sat back down on the bed. "You have to take better care of yourself, you know now your body's not ready, give yourself a little more time," with that said, Trowa turned to leave.

Heero's eyes fell closed with the memory, of a time that felt an eternity away _So much has changed…_ he thought darkly to himself, for what he was positive was not the first time. "I'm so tired…" he mumbled not even really aware that he had spoken aloud.

Ash jerked in his seat a strong look of concern ruling over his features, "Then sleep, I'll be here when you wake…" his voice was gentle as he spoke, but there was a note of hesitancy there to. "That is," he swallowed before continuing, "If that's what you want…"

Rolling onto his back Heero slowly shook his head, mind feeling half-adrift in his exhausted body, though he did not yet want to rest. "It's not that…" he told Ash softly, yes his body needed sleep, but that was not what drained him so completely. He was tired of this life he had chosen, of the lives he had hurt, and the lies he hid behind, Heero just wanted it to end.

Silence hovered between them, fragile, and yet indestructible, at least for Heero wasn't he already saying more than he would have at any other time? Nevertheless he almost felt an urge to speak, but it would not happen without Ash speaking first. "You miss them don't you?" the very man asked finally, head down eyes averted.

"Yes…" that shocked Heero, as the solitary word slipped from his tired mouth. He missed being around people who understood him, who he could trust to watch his back, who he had lived through some of the most difficult times with, but most of all he missed being around the first people he had ever dared to call friend.

"The others…they're Relena's bodyguards, aren't they?" the words were spoken barely above a whisper, but Heero heard them loud and clear, and his head snapped to the side to glare daggers at Ash.

"Did you get that from my memories too?!" he demanded, a surprising amount of heat in his voice.

Ash's face fell, obviously instantly regretting having spoken those words, but he did not get up and leave, as Heero had expected him too. Instead he remained and spoke again, "No…they have the same look in their eyes…"

That caught Heero off guard, as he wondered when Ash might have had occasion to speak with them, but he was not about to question him on that. Heero was not really interested in finding out just how he knew, it was all a huge opened wound for him, and one he felt more acutely now than usual, what he wouldn't have given for a drink right then. "It must be difficult…" Ash continued finally breaking the silence again, "Being away from the only people who understood you."

Heero sighed letting his tired eyes fall closed, "It was my choice…" in his mind Heero hear the shot fired, and watched Relena fall, her precious blood staining the floor red. He jerked mutely with the memory, knowing and reminding himself, as he always did, that that had been his choice, no one had forced him. He distanced himself of his own free will, for the good of the peace…after three years the last was becoming hard to believe. "I don't blame them," he continued barely seeming to have the strength to push the words out.

How could he? When he had done everything in his power to make them believe this lie, when he had thrown away their friendship as if had meant nothing to him over all those years. As if he had not respected them for the brave warriors they were, for the men he had almost found himself thinking of as brothers. He could find no blame with them, for their reactions or their anger, if they had thought of him in just half the way he still looked at them, than they had every possible right to hate and despise him, to want his death.

"You only did what you had too…" Heero opened his unfocused eyes and looked to Ash, willing them to clear for just a moment more. As he did not blame the pilots so too did he not blame Ash, as angered as he was at the violation of his memories, he could not make himself deny how he had come to almost rely on Ash's presence in the absence of the others. It was something he almost found himself scared to loose, to once more be alone constantly trying to watch his own back. At least when Ash was there he felt safer more relaxed, like he had with the others.

The look on Ash's face at those few words, stunned Heero he had not expected them to mean so much to the other man. But they clearly had, Ash offered him a smile, a warm understanding smile, and it was with that image fixed firmly in his mind that Heero once more gave himself over to sleep.

Thanks for Reading!

****

For Reason Untold:

Ash stepped fully into the spacious apartment and closed the door behind him, the light from the colony fading towards dusk flittered in through half opened windows giving the room an almost greyish look. "Heero?" he called his voice almost seeming to echo off the empty walls. There was no response from the apartment.

Once again the worry returned as Ash moved deeper hazel eyes searching for his friend, there was no sign of him in the pristine near empty living room, nor the kitchen, Ash merely glanced in as he passed. "Heero?" he called again now unable to keep some of the worry from his voice as he made his way down the hall towards Heero's room. On impulse Ash reached for the door to Heero's spare room, the one he kept empty to practice his martial arts. The door to that room was slightly ajar, and as he took a breath he nearly gagged, the smell of vomit was thick in the air.

With his heart racing Ash threw opened the door eyes scanning the near pitch black room, Ash's hand searched near frantically for the light switch. His fingers found it quickly and he flicked it up showering the room in bright light. Blinking away the sudden change Ash's eyes fell upon a sight that nearly stopped his heart.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	18. For Reasons Untold

Mistaken Words: For Reasons Untold ****

Mistaken Words

AN:Here we are again with another chapter. thank you all for your support! Things are moving along well, and I'll soon be into the stuff I wrote during school last year ^_^ this means that chapters will hopefully be coming out once a week again…I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for that ^_~

****

Thank you to Pious Knight! ^_^ you're the greatest!!!!

ANNOUNCEMENT!!: My friend neekabe had a great idea involving this story, as some of you know she's been writing side fics to this story, and up until now they haven't really been crucial to the plot. However that's all about to change now. She has a side story up called Death of Dreams, which you can find at her profile www. read.php?storyid= 1798516 (minus the spaces for some reason ff.net kept removing the link...)I highly suggest reading it ^_^ she's an excellent author….besides if you don't ^_^ you'll be as confused as poor Ash ^_^ I hope you all enjoy!

****

Katie: ^_^ you're picking up on a lot of stuff in these chapter that I wasn't expecting readers to see ^_^ this great! You're right about the Zero system it is dangerous….however….^_^ well you'll see when we get there ^_~ and as for Heero fearing he's still in VR what with the withdrawal, you'll be happy to know that doesn't happen…..this time…oops said too much ^_~ As for Quatre asking about Heero *Laughs* I never even thought of that heh heh….you truly are observent ^_~ Thank you so much! There's a lot of the friendship in the story, and I'm glad you like Ash…he's been catching a little flack of late ^_^ I hope you enjoy this chapter!! ^_^

****

little princess: thank you so much! this story has about two years behind it before I ever started posting, so yeah there was a lot of brainstorming between my friend neekabe and I, trying to find all the little loop holes that would cause problems later on ^_^ (we caught most of them but there still have been a few heart attack moments along the way ^_~) I truly hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last 17 ^_^ and yes you were the hundredth review ^_^ I would never have believed I'd make it this far ^_^ and were still in the beginning! thanks again!

****

Ramyh: Thanks so much! I'm glad you like the two chapters….this may very well happen again ^_^ I believe you all deserve a reward for sticking with me! ^_^ enjoy!

****

Wolfgirl333: I'm sorry it wasn't exactly a week…but better late than never eh? ^_^ thanks for reviewing, and I'll let you read and see what happens to Heero ^_^

****

Raizard333: ^_^ don't worry I'm sure it'll all come quicker than you think ^_^ I hope ^_~ thanks for the review, I'm ecstatic that this story has been getting such great reviews you guys are the greatest ever! ^_^ as for not being able to have a story without a plot like that ^_~ watch me! *laughs* Oh don't worry there will be a plot, but I've been trying to stray from the everyday, I hope it all works out ^_^

****

angel_of_darkness: ummmmmm…….what if he does? *looks away innocently* ^_^ thanks for reviewing, the niceness will happen ^_^ you have my word…and we're getting closer to it honest ^_^ just a little longer now ^_^ I hope you continue to enjoy!

****

merlyn1382: Thanks for reviewing, and you're welcome for not hurting Heero in the last chapter…or letting him hurt himself….wish I could say the same for this chapter…..*hides* hope you won't hate me ^_~ enjoy!

****

Adrelliehs: Oh thank you very much! ^_^ I'm glad you like it, and I hope you continue to enjoy!

****

Tiger Shinigami: Heh heh thank you, neekabe often says I'm an evil lady or the devil ^_^ I figure why fight it? ^_~ You really don't have to worry about Ash and Duo…honest, right now Duo's too mad at Heero to be jealous, he's hurt and betrayed. But not to fear that doesn't last and Ash doesn't take anything away from Duo (as Ash isn't even in the picture again until much later ^_~)….I'm almost tempted to email you a future scene just to let you see with your own eyes ^_~…they actually get on rather well. I hope you continue to enjoy the story….and maybe in the distant future when all is said and done will come to like Ash ^_~…..a little….or if not ^_^ give me some more ways he can die ^_^ those made me laugh ^_~ thanks again!

****

Kalorna Enera: I can understand your frustration at only Wufei's wondering, but I hope you can also understand why that's the case. This aspect of the story has to be the single most pointed out part ^_^ and I certainly don't mind as I can see where you're coming from, I just hope everyone ^_^ even in their frustration is able to see the reason I've laid out for only Wufei to suspect ^_^ Thanks so much for the review!! ^_^ hope you continue to enjoy! ^_^

****

Erinamantion-limited2-nothing: Hurray for being back! Glad to hear you're feeling better! I've never had a reaction that bad….thankfully ^_^ Thanks for reviewing, and I hope you enjoy! ^_^

****

Anrui Shino: Thanks for the review ^_^ I hope you aren't finding the chapters too long ^_^ I was thinking they were a little on the short side at times….but everyone seems happy so I'll be trying to keep them around this length ^_^ enjoy!

****

Morrighan of Crimson and Sable: ^_^ *****hold out silver platter*** **I bring you more! ^_^ I hope you enjoy and thanks for reviewing ^_^

****

Twilight Dusk: awwww!!!!!! ^_____^ you called him Ash-kun, that's so nice!!! ^____^ thanks for the review it warmed my heart! 

****

Disclaimer: I'll never own Gundam Wing….well I own the DVDs ^_~ does that count?…..no?…..*sad*

****

For Reasons Untold

Ash stepped into the ever-silent apartment complex, amazed that no matter how many times he came in here, there was absolutely no hustle an bustle that he would have expected. It seemed to him that Heero had chosen his home carefully, picking a building with little to no youth, allowing him the peace and quiet that he would otherwise find impossible in other situations. Ash didn't think Heero had a problem with younger people, he just doubted that the Japanese man would have an easy time socialising with them. Heero definitely preferred an area where he could live his life without the questions and curiosities of the men and women around him.

It amazed Ash that Heero had managed to leave the hospital under his own power just ten days after waking. This was almost entirely the result of Heero's impossibly stubborn nature, Ash had only been there to make sure Heero didn't kill himself. He was glad his friend was finally back on his feet, but he could still feel that gap between them. It was because of that Ash didn't follow Heero home when he finally left. He let the Japanese man have his space, telling himself that he would go over to Heero's apartment soon to make sure everything was alright.

Dante had informed him of the money given to Heero in case he wanted to find himself a new place, away from them. Internally Ash hoped Heero wouldn't result to that, he knew it was selfish for him to want the former pilot to stay here, where there couldn't possible be good memories. But he did want him to stay, he wanted to be there for Heero, if Heero ever needed it, not that he thought he deserved to be there for the Japanese man. Only he knew Heero would never let anyone else near, and after that little talk they had had, Ash knew he at least needed to have someone, no matter how unworthy.

Stepping off the elevator Ash walked out into the silent hall, noting the pristine carpets and pleasant pictures which lined the walls at intervals. This was not the most inexpensive apartment complex on the colony, yet because of that it had great apartments and each tenant was assured to have their privacy and the utmost service. Ash doubted seriously that it was the service which had drawn Heero. Striding down the open and well lit corridor, Ash quickly came to Heero's apartment, and he stopped, for a moment unable to go any further.

It had been one day since he had last seen Heero, before that he had spent more time with the Japanese man than he had since the incident with the VR. Despite his reservations over the condition of their friendship, Ash had enjoyed being able to work with Heero as though nothing had happened, and so long as Heero was willing to treat it so, Ash knew he could manage it as well. It all still chewed him up inside, but he was somehow able to put it aside—so it only whispered at him—when he had been working with Heero.

Drawing a slow breath, Ash glanced down at the floor, gathering his nerve even as his right fist rose to rap on the smooth wood of the door. The sound echoed hollowly through the empty hall, and Ash waited patiently for some form of response. When none came, he raised his fist to knock again, this time harder than before, finding it hard to believe that Heero might have missed the sound. Still there was no response from beyond the door. It was in these seconds that Ash felt the first sparks of worry ignite within him. He was not usually a worst case scenario person, but where Heero was concerned, he almost couldn't help being.

He tested the knob, not at all surprised to find it locked, but his left hand was already moving to his pocket fishing around for the key that waited there. Ash had taken Heero's spare key at one point in time, it had been just another way he had inserted himself into Heero life, without the former pilot even seeming to care. Slipping the silver key into the lock, Ash pushed open the door, afraid of what he'd find. Glancing around the darkened entryway Ash found himself breathing a sigh of relieve, when he saw Heero's shoes neatly placed near the door.

~_He hasn't left…_~

Ash stepped fully into the spacious apartment and closed the door behind him, the light from the colony fading towards dusk flittered in through half opened windows giving the room an almost greyish look. "Heero?" he called his voice almost seeming to echo off the empty walls. There was no response from the apartment.

Once again the worry returned as Ash moved deeper, hazel eyes searching for his friend, there was no sign of him in the pristine near empty living room, nor the kitchen, Ash merely glanced in as he passed. "Heero?" he called again now unable to keep some of the worry from his voice as he made his way down the hall towards Heero's room. On impulse, Ash reached for the door to Heero's spare room, the one he kept nearly empty to practice his martial arts. The door to that room was slightly ajar, and as he took a breath he nearly gagged, the smell of vomit was thick in the air.

With his heart racing, Ash threw opened the door, eyes scanning the near pitch black room, Ash's hand searched near frantically for the light switch. His fingers found it quickly and he flicked it up showering the room in bright light. Blinking away the sudden change Ash's eyes fell upon a sight that nearly stopped his heart.

Rushing forward Ash avoided the pool of vomit closer to the door, and fell to his knees at Heero's side, two fingers pressing desperately at the Japanese man's neck, searching for the pulse he prayed would still be there. Holding his breath, Ash did not allow himself to sigh with relief when he finally found the faintly beating erratic pulse. Leaning forward he brought his ear near to Heero's mouth listening to his shallow breaths. The Japanese man's skin was pale and clammy to the touch, all signs pointing to alcohol poisoning. The empty bottle of rye lying near the door—something Ash had missed on first entering—only confirmed his fears.

Shifting Heero to a safer position in case he threw up again Ash reached for his cell phone, dialling 911. He heard a young man answer and he was aware of himself giving the needed information, his friend had poisoned himself with alcohol, no he wasn't conscious, yes the pulse was very faint, yes he was still breathing, yes he had thrown up. The question seemed near endless, and all the while Ash just wanted to scream 'Just send the damn ambulance!' but he was in too much shock to do anything other than answer the questions and keep two fingers pressed to Heero's neck assuring himself that he was still alive. 

Ash raked a hand through his hair eyes scanning up and down Heero's unconscious form, "Why did you do this?" he asked quietly. 

Then started an eternity for Ash as seconds passed by like life times, and each one he feared might bring his friend's death. Not for an instant did he leave Heero's side, he was always close, monitoring him, though he knew there wasn't much he could do if things were to take a sudden turn for the worst. He prayed silently that wouldn't happen, that the ambulance would be here soon, that they would save his friend. Ash felt Heero's pulse weaken under his fingers, and he quickly leaned in close reassuring himself that the former pilot yet breathed.

"Hang in there Heero," he whispered, willing the Japanese man to keep up the fight, to prove how stubborn he was. Ash glanced back behind him at the door wishing it was not the empty hall he was seeing but men rushing in to help, he was suddenly glad he had not locked the door behind him on entering. His worry filled eyes turned back to Heero, as he glanced down at this watch counting the beats of his pulse; they were disturbingly few. 

Ash was growing more frantic with each passing second, he wanted to run outside and see what was taking them, but he remained planted next to Heero's side. In the dead silence of the apartment all Ash could hear was the racing beat of his own heart such a shocking contrast to Heero's, which barely seemed to be going at all. A few times Ash almost thought he lost it, and he gasped, hazel eyes filling with tears, only seconds later to find it again. He didn't know if the feeling in his fingers was just failing him after being pressed to Heero's neck for so long, or whether the Japanese man was slowly losing the fight, giving in before it was over. 

Finally from out in the main hall Ash heard a growing commotion, and he released a breath he had not been aware he was holding. As he did, Ash had to suck in a quick gasp of air realising how much his lungs were burning, a tiny portion of his brain wondered how long he had been holding it. Yet the vast majority of his mind was entirely focused on the help that had arrived, the men who would save his friend's life. They rushed into the room suddenly, and he heard them call out to him, could almost formulate what the words meant, but couldn't quite understand. He remained at Heero's side, keeping track of his pulse unable to move away.

He watched them come closer, they seemed to be carrying so much stuff between them, yet again one of them spoke, but still it seemed not to reach him. Ash made to turn his attention back to the one who needed it the most, when one of the paramedics took hold of his shoulders, drawing him away. Ash made to struggle not wanting to lose contact with Heero, afraid his friend would die because of it. But the medic was easily able to move him aside, and this time a few of his words made it through, "…It's alright…"

Ash tried to look around the man, to see what the other was doing with Heero, but the medic took hold of his head flashing a bright light into Ash's eyes. Wincing he pulled away not fully comprehending why that was done, however whatever the medic had been concerned about he was willing to leave alone, as he moved away to assist his partner. They moved about Heero quickly turning him over and checking his vitals, all that Ash could understand just from watching, what they said to one another as they worked still seemed to escape him. There was a high pitched buzzing in his ears seeming to separate him for the world in which he stood. 

It did not take the men long to get Heero on the gurney, all strapped in and hooked up to monitors. He was so small upon the stretcher, face frighteningly pale as they made to wheel him from the room. Ash was on his feet in an instant following along beside Heero's unconscious form, not will for a second to let his friend out of his sight, the men seemed not to question this but moved quickly through the halls back to the elevator. Ash's subconscious noted the heads, and full bodies of men and women curious about the commotion who thought to look out and see. As they stood in the elevator waiting to reach the main floor Ash was vaguely aware of a hand on his shoulder, he guessed it was supposed to be reassuring but watching the laboured rise and fall of Heero's thin chest there was little that could reassure him.

The trek from that point on to the ambulance was a blur to Ash, he found himself standing outside of it, and quickly climbed in behind the paramedics and Heero. Once inside the vehicle lurched forward, and Ash watched as the medics set to work once more. Their movements were steady and calm, and seeing that helped to settled Ash's nerves a little, knowing that Heero was in the best hands possible. He could hear the scream of the sirens as the ambulance raced through the colony's streets, taking the fastest possible route to the hospital. 

From outside of the fog that surrounded Ash, a new and frightening sound slowly filtered through. It was akin to the sirens, only there was no pause in its cries. Ash searched about frantically with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, it did not take him long to find the source of the new sounds. The small monitor that had been displaying Heero's weak heart beat, was flat, there was no blip in the line.

~_He's flat lined…_~ Ash realised with horror. The medics picked up the pace, not allowing themselves to panic over this as they worked to bring the Japanese man back. Ash shuddered as Heero's small form jerked, as they tried to shock his heart back to life, but it didn't seem to work. Again and again Heero's body jumped on the gurney, syringes came and went but nothing seemed to change. Ash's hands were locked so tightly upon the bench that they began to burn, and he noted the paramedics were becoming more desperate as time passed. 

~_Come on! You can't give in yet!_~ "Fight!" Ash didn't realise the last of that actually slipped from his mouth in a desperate shout. But somehow it seemed to reach Heero, as the paramedics' efforts were finally rewarded. His heart was beating yet again, weakly but steady nonetheless. Ash breathed a small sigh of relief even though he knew they were not out of the woods yet. Now with Heero relatively stable one of the paramedics turned to Ash, he asked a question but Ash's attention was altogether focused on Heero, his features taking on a ghastly ashen pallor. 

Feeling someone shake his shoulder, Ash slowly turned his head to focus his vision on the man beside him. "Sir…" the medic's voice finally penetrated the fog, "Does your friend have any medical problem we should know about?" It took Ash an incredible amount of time to process that question, and finally he shook his head, there was nothing that he was aware of, and he was pretty sure by now if there was something it probably would have come up. "We're almost there," the other man assured resting a hand on Ash's shoulder before turning back to Heero and his partner.

Yet it wasn't until the ambulance came to a stop at the hospital that Ash actually released the bench, his fingers aching from the grip he had held for so long. He was the first out, and he watched with tunnel vision as Heero was brought out of the vehicle. Nothing around him registered but his friends small form and the barely perceivable rise and fall of his chest. Once on the group the paramedics set off at a jog towards the double sliding doors, without thought Ash was right with them running along side the gurney.

The doors pulled open as they approached and instantly they were met with a number of people, doctors and nurses alike. Ash could hear the words being spoken, as information was passed, but he didn't bother to process it, just watched his friend. Fixing Heero's face in his mind, trying to see beyond the sunken eyes and pale flesh to the man that lay unconscious behind ~_Why'd you do it?_~ he wondered again. 

Ash was pulled to a halt suddenly by a female nurse as Heero was wheeled further into the hospital through another set of double doors. He made to push past her, feeling panic set in that he could not longer see the Japanese man; that he would not know if he lived or died. But he was halted again, a second set of hands grabbing hold of him and pulling him away, he found himself quite suddenly sitting in a chair. One of the paramedics re-emerge then and spoke with the nurse who stopped him, they were looking in his direction, but he only caught one word, "…Shock…"

No longer interested in what was happening Ash shut himself away from the world, for him time had no meaning as he sat in that waiting room, elbows on knees and head in hands. He felt greatly to blame for what had happened, had he only been there for Heero he would have been able to help him, to stop him from going to far. Vaguely Ash was aware of someone dropping a blanket over his shoulders, and he was rather surprised at the difference it made, before he had not even noticed his entire body was trembling. Some one attempted to offer him a drink but he paid them no mind, his guilt-ridden thought focused too internally to care about the outside world. 

~_I should have been there for him…this wouldn't have happened…_~ he knew there was no way to say that for sure, but he couldn't stop blaming himself. Ash felt completely lost and displaced from the world he had thought he knew, Heero had never drank outside of a bar, and almost never without Ash there. Ash had learned to read the small signs, the little hints that signalled Heero was going to need a drink soon, and they had never come about that often. He wished he had been able to find a connection in the outside world that led Heero to these ends, but he had never been able to.

This incident stood outside of them all. There had been no warning to lead Ash to believe this would happen, he didn't even know Heero kept a bottle of rye in his apartment. What could have led him to this? To affect him so suddenly, and so hard, that he did not fear or care for his life? Ash could think of nothing that would fit, despite the conversation he had had with Heero that day at the hospital. Though it had shown him a side of Heero—deeper than he had ever seen before—it had not given him enough insight to say decisively that Heero had enough acceptance of the last three years not to try and take his life in this way. Ash had just always thought he was stronger than that.

Once again Ash found a cup of hot coffee placed under his nose, and he pulled his head back in irritation just wanting people to leave him alone. "Come on Ash you need to drink something," a familiar voice chided softly.

Blinking in surprise Ash looked up raising his head just enough to see it was Dante who spoke to him. His friend sat in the seat beside him, face lined with worry as he held the cup towards his friend, "How'd you get here?" he asked suddenly almost completely coming out of the haze that had surrounded him for he knew not how long.

"One of the nurses called me, when they realised there was no getting through to you," he told Ash was his gentle smile. "Here drink this, it'll help warm you up," he pressed the steaming cup into Ash's hands, not letting go until Ash had taken it for himself.

Slowly Ash brought his trembling hands to his lips, and took a small sip of the hot liquid letting it trail down his throat, and give heat back to his body, which seemed to be so lacking in it. For a time they sat there in silence, the commotion of the hospital a distant hum that did not seem to be able to penetrate the quiet that surrounded them. Ash continued to sip at the coffee, feeling it slowly awaken his sense that had been left for dead the moment he walked into Heero's spare room. The vision of the Japanese man lying there pale and unconscious clouded his sight and he shuddered.

"What happened, Ash?" Dante inquired gently.

But Ash could only shake his head, "I don't know…" he whispered finally, "He was just lying there…an empty bottle of rye…why would he try to kill himself?" he continued to shake his head.

Ash realised he wasn't being very clear, but his thoughts were not really running in a single line at the moment. To Dante's credit he did not press, despite how much he must have been wanting to know exactly what had gone on. Not that Ash could tell him much beyond what he had witnessed, but even that would be something more than he knew now. Dante rested a comforting hand on Ash's shoulder, "Just tell me what you know," he requested softly then added, "Take your time."

Drinking a little more Ash attempted to herd his thoughts down one cohesive path, "I went to check on Heero…" he began slowly stating something he knew Dante was already aware of, but couldn't seem to help starting there. "He didn't answer the door, I found him unconscious in his spare room…he must have drank the entire bottle of rye…"

"Do you have any idea why he'd do that?" Dante's voice didn't sound too hopeful for an answer.

Ash shook his head, "He seemed depressed at the hospital…but leaving seemed to take care of that." He stared at his hands, "I don't understand, he's never done this since that first time…he knows his limits…"

"Perhaps his body just wasn't strong enough to take it right now…" the Free Born leader offered attempting to comfort.

Silence fell between them, as each gave their minds over to their own thoughts on the matter, Ash had a feeling neither of them would ever truly discover why this happened, he just prayed Heero might live long enough to tell them. But even if he did live, Ash highly doubted he share his hidden torment. 

"Excuse me," a soft feminine voice broke through both their thoughts, and Ash looked up seeing one of the doctors that had taken Heero away. He assessed her at a glance, and was not altogether pleased with what he saw. She like all doctors had learned to school her features into neutrality, so as not to accidentally give someone false hope, or throw a person into shock before she was given a chance to lay out all the details. "Are you the gentleman who came in with the Alcohol Poisoning patient?" she directed the question at Ash.

"His name is Heero," he returned his voice harsher than he had intended, but he couldn't stand hearing Heero be referred to by anything other than his name. In Ash's tired mind that was just one step closer to making him a number, and Heero was anything but someone who could be lost to statistics.

"I'm sorry," the doctor quickly placated, "My name is Dr Shan, your friend is alive, we were able to remove the alcohol from his stomach and neutralise some of what had already made it into his blood stream." She leapt right into a medical update much to Ash's relief, he almost stopped listening once he heard Heero was alive, but there was something in her tone that told him there was more to come, something that couldn't be good judging by his first assessment of her face.

She pulled a chair up before theirs and took a seat, "Heero was not in the best of shape when he did this, and we nearly lost him for a second time. I'm afraid he's slipped into a coma," she took a breath looking them both in the eyes, "There's really no way to say when he'll wake." Dr Shan opened the folder that she had been holding looking over its contents, "Now there are a few questions I'd like to ask you, if that's alright…"

"Go ahead," Dante answered for Ash, knowing his friend's mind was still not yet fully up to speed.

"How long has your friend been on this self destructive path?" her pale green eyes locked onto each of them in turn, very serious with a light of medical concern glowing in the back of them.

"What?"

"I beg your pardon?" Dante and Ash both said at once, rather shocked by her blunt question.

"Am I to take it you didn't know?" she looked more than a little surprised by this, "Heero's about ten pounds underweight, with track marks on the insides of his arms. When I consider that with what happened today, it doesn't take much to draw conclusion…"

"I'm afraid your conclusion, though I suppose reasonable, doesn't have all the facts," Dante quickly put in, much to Ash's relief; he was far too stunned to find his voice. "Recently Heero was hospitalised due to an illness, I'm sure that would explain the weight loss and track marks."

Dr Shan looked back through her thin file, "I wasn't aware of any illness, in fact Heero's file is rather sparse, no medical checks, no inoculations…he's basically a blank slate."

"Heero prefers it that way," Ash spoke up finally rubbing at his temples, "He's a very private person."

"I see…" the doctor breathed not sounding at all convinced, "Has an instance like this happened before?" 

Dante looked to Ash for that one, "Yeah…about five times including now…" Ash spoke up softly, finding that number hard to believe, sure it had been over three years but still, five times and he had not once been able to determine what drove him. "Only one other time did he ever have to be hospitalised, and it wasn't that severe," he added, not wanting the doctor to think Heero continually tried to drink himself to death.

She made a note in her folder, "How old is Heero?" she asked suddenly seeming to switch gears.

"Around nineteen," Dante supplied, "We've never really asked him before."

It was true Ash realised Heero's age had never been a real issue, sure it had the first time he had walked into a bar, but a single look had seemed to set all questions aside. Ash dropped his head back into his hands, wishing he were anywhere but here; that this was all some horrific nightmare he could just wake up from. But Dr Shan started speaking again, removing all hope of such waking, "This is a dangerous habit for Heero to form, does he understand the risks to his health, considering events I'd have to say he doesn't." She studied them carefully, Ash watched face blank from the edges of his eyes, "Or he does…and just gave up caring."

"Heero wasn't trying to commit suicide, if that's what you're implying," Dante asserted though Ash thought it was a little too early to be saying that with any sort of finality. He did not want to think Heero had tried to take his life, but considering how he had been in the hospital, it didn't seem all that impossible either. Though he had absolutely no idea what had finally lead Heero to this end, that was something he intended to ask when the Japanese man woke. "As I said before, Heero's been sick, and obviously his body couldn't take the alcohol like it normally can," Dante finished one hand moving to rest once again on Ash's shoulder.

"Heero has a very fast metabolism," Ash put in after a moment's thought thinking that would also help to relieve the doctor's fears. 

"That would explain why the amount of alcohol he ingested didn't kill him right off," Dr Shan mused aloud making several more notes in her folder. "Now about this illness that you mentioned before…" she looked to Dante, "What exactly was it?"

"Is that really crucial for helping Heero now?" Ash inquired hoping to put the woman off the trail she seemed determined to follow, it was not like they could truthfully answer, and expect to be understood.

She looked at him calmly adjusting her thin framed glasses, Ash blinked, he hadn't even been aware that she was wearing any. He rubbed at the side of his head, telling himself he'd have to start paying attention or he might make a slip they wouldn't be able to back out of. "I'm merely trying to establish some patient history, this is all standard information," Ash stopped himself before he said 'Heero's not exactly a standard patient.'

"I'm really not all that sure what was wrong with him," Dante continued, "I'm no doctor."

"Then who was the doctor to treat him? It'll be just as easy to speak to him," she reasoned, green eyes flickering between the both of them, as if she was expecting some odd reaction.

They gave no reaction of course, at least not on the outside. On the inside Ash's mind was racing searching for a way to avoid this, Dr Stevens was not up to speed on what to say, and what was best left private. Yet denying her access would only make matters seem more suspicious. Suddenly Ash spoke the words flying from his lips before he could fully considered them, but instantly he knew they worked. "What's the point in all this?" he demanded breaking the silence, "When we all know in about a weeks time, all this information will be gone again?" he prayed it would only take a week to get Heero back up on his feet. 

Dr Shan studied him intently, eyes probing and searching obviously not about to give up on this. But he had a sinking feeling she was trying to find another way to trap them, a way that they had no choice but to answer. She was a curious woman to say the least, however Ash couldn't blame her, standing in her shoes, he'd want to know everything he could about Heero, especially when it looked so suspicious. Hell, he, standing in his own shoes, wanted to know everything he could about Heero, but he, unlike Dr Shan, knew that just wasn't an option. 

"Well in that case, perhaps you wouldn't mind explaining the calluses on Heero's wrist and ankles…" an eyebrow was calmly raised at that, as she tapped her pen against the folder, "They seemed to me to have been made from shackles of some type…but I'm no expert there…"

~_Shit!_~ Ash thought in the safety of his mind, outside he gave no visible reaction, much like Dante, neither seemed surprised nor cornered by the fact that she had noticed this. Dante without batting an eye answered, waiting a precise amount of time so as not to make her think he was scrambling for an answer. "When Heero was hospitalised he was delirious, his extensive training during the war has honed his reflexes to the point where even in that state he was defending himself. If he perceived a threat he removed it, and it began to become a danger to himself as well as the staff," simple enough and mostly true, Ash liked the way Dante's mind worked.

"Am I to understand, that he is a threat to my people?" she inquired while furiously writing in the folder.

"Not if you give him the space he needs, and don't approach him when he's only half awake, without first getting his attention." Ash told her all this while straitening in his chair, he winced as his back protested the move, he had been hunched over for too long. "He won't intentionally hurt someone…" even as the words left his mouth Ash wondered at their truth. Heero had after all shot Relena in cold blood, and there had obviously been intention there, even if no one could figure out what exactly that was. 

Dr Shan slowly lifted her glasses and rubbed at one eye as she seemed to consider all that they had said. "Well, all things considered, I think it's best that Heero speak to a psychologist once he wakes. The hospital already has made contact with a very good doctor, one who's worked with many of our patients here…" Both Ash and Dante were shaking their heads before she had even finished, but it was Dante who spoke.

"You can cancel the appointment, Heero won't speak to any psychologist."

"I understand there's a lot that I don't understand about this young man," Dr Shan began with incredible calm, "And for reason unknown there's a lot you're not telling me. But it doesn't take much to see that this boy has been through some trauma in his life, and it's leading him down a dangerous path. As a doctor, I can't just sit by and pretend Heero doesn't need help."

"Heero won't speak to anyone," Ash stressed, in his mind trying to imagine Heero telling his innermost thoughts to a complete stranger, and it almost had him roaring with laughter…almost. 

"The sessions are totally private, he shouldn't be concerned about speaking to someone who would be able to help him," she reasoned applying a common patient problem to Heero, something that didn't quite fit with Heero.

"I told you Heero's a private person, he doesn't share anything with anyone, he never has," that wasn't entirely true now, considering the conversation they had had ten days back. Yet Ash was fairly sure that had been the drugs and exhaustion talking more than Heero, despite that he felt honoured to have been a part of that moment. 

Dr Shan seemed ready to argue her point further, but Dante gently cut in, "Would we be able to see him now?" that polite request perked Ash up immediately.

"I…" she glanced back behind her, in her green eyes Ash could see she did not want to leave matters were they now stood. However what Dante had asked was seemingly something she couldn't refuse, "Yes, please come this way," she answered finally standing and moving her chair back against the wall.

Ash came to his feet instantly, and regretted it right away, his knees, having been bent for he knew not how long, seemed to groan in protest of his sudden straightening. As his circulation returned to normal Ash took a tentative step forward, wincing as he stretched the cramped muscles. Dante walked alongside him as they followed Dr Shan back deeper into the hospital, to a place Ash found all too familiar. This was not the same hospital Heero had only recently left from but he found ICU wings of hospitals all basically looked the same.

Doctors and nurses rushed about in a sort of controlled chaos, all seeming to be waiting on the very balls of their feet in case one of the blue lights above the rows of doors should light. Nobody wanted a code blue on their shift, but everyone was ready in case it did. As they made there way deeper into the unit, one of those very lights lit, and a warning siren went off. Ash's entire body jumped as the air about him changed, a life had just slipped away, but these men and women were not about to give up without a fight.

With terror-filled eyes Ash opened his mouth to demand to know which room was Heero's, but Dr Shan had already been watching him carefully. "That's not Heero's room," she assured, her words almost causing Ash's legs to give out on him.

Dante's hand was a welcomed support as the finally came to their destination, eyes looking in through a glass window on Heero's small form. Ash reached out to grip the small ledge eyes unable to leave his friends face. Relief washed over him in waves as he watched the rise and fall of Heero's chest, telling himself over and over again, that Heero would pull through this, he'd been through worse. After some time Ash noticed Dante had moved away with Dr Shan, he was only vaguely aware of the conversation they were having, his mind still very much focused on Heero. But some of what they said did float back to his ears.

"…He needs rest," Dr Shan said gently.

"I'll take care of him," Dante assured, Ash had a feeling it was him they were talking about, and he felt a spark of irritation ignite within him. Nevertheless he remained silently watching Heero listening to what of their words he could catch with the buzz and commotion that surrounded them.

Dr Shan's voice seemed to have taken on an almost pleading note, "…there's nothing more you can say?"

"…Ask him…" most of what Dante said was lost, but Ash had a feeling that portion of the conversation was concerning Heero.

Ash looked at his friend's face, willing those cobalt eyes to open, his ever present feelings of guilt were—for the moment—outweighed by his need to understand. He wanted to be there when Heero woke, to lend him support and hopefully discover what it was that had pushed him to the limit. Through the years Ash had known the Japanese man, he had seemed a rock, one cracked and worn, but not something so easily shattered. He could not begin to comprehend what it had taken to leave Heero this one road out.

He jumped slightly when he felt a hand grip his shoulder, drawing him out of his deep thoughts. Glancing over he saw Dante's concerned blue eyes watching him, but he quickly looked away returning his vision back to Heero. "Come on Ash…we have to go now," the din of the surrounding hall seemed to fade for Ash, as he continued to watch a part of him mind still in shock from all that happened.

"I'd rather stay…" he whispered, hands gripping the ledge just a little harder.

"Ash Dr Shan assures me she'll call the minute he wakes," Dante told him in a quite voice trying to draw Ash away from the room.

But Ash remained firmly planted, "I want to know why he did this," he breathed feeling an unreasoning frustration fill him, boiling up from the depths of his being. "I want answers!" before he knew it his voice had reached a near shout, though the words were hardly noticed in the noises hallway.

"And you'll get them," Dante soothed though Ash knew damn well there was no way to say for sure. "But it won't happen if you just stand here, you need to rest some first," Ash was shocked when he found himself chuckling dryly at that statement, and it took his stunned mind a few minutes to realise why. Dante's statement sounded so much like the commonly held belief 'a watched pot never boils' that his tired mind couldn't help but see the odd humour in it. He didn't miss the worried look Dante directed at him as he was slowly lead away, but he didn't care, the adrenaline was finally warring off, and he was feeling incredibly drained because of it.

As they came to the end of the ICU Ash threw one last look over his shoulder, reassuring himself that the blue light above Heero's door yet remained unlit. He prayed that if he kept that image firmly in his mind, it would remain so until he could come back.

Thanks for Reading!

****

Fading into Memory:

He felt the hand on his shoulder give a little squeeze, "I don't like the idea any more than you do--" he began but Ash would hear no more of it.

"It doesn't make sense!" he exploded coming to his feet, and rushed to Heero's bedroom throwing the closet doors wide opened. "Why are all his cloths still here?" Ash stopped at the spare room, "And his laptop?" He moved back to the living room, becoming more agitated by the second, "The coffee tables out of place, and look at this wall" he pointed to the indentation, "And these!" Ash held the pictures to Dante's face; "He didn't just leave!"

Dante seemed stunned for a moment his pale eyes looking where Ash had directed then back to the man, "You think he was taken? Who would do such a thing?"

Ash seemed to draw in a breath, "I don't know!!" He shouted voicing all his frustration over everything, all the unanswered questions, all the mysteries and half-truth, over everything he had ever wanted to know about his quiet Japanese friend. "Damnit!! This is my fault!!" Ash continued to fume pacing about the living room.

Morganeth Taren'drel

Submit Review Report Possible Abuse Add Story to Favorites Add Author to Favorites Add Author to Author Alert 1. Remembrance of a Painful Past2. Loss of Faith?3. Unforeseen Flaw4. The End of a Dream5. Nowhere to Run6. The Truth of Lies7. A Reaction8. For The Mission9. A Secret Revealed10. Alone With Regret11. To Glimpse a Tortured Soul12. The End of a Nightmare13. Confrontations14. Awakening to Realisations15. The Last Piece16. A Question Answered17. Silent Apologies18. For Reasons Untold 


	19. Fading into Memory

****

Mistaken Words

AN:Here we are again ^_^ sorry it took so long! and I'd like to apologise now for the next chapters lateness…it's proven to be more difficult to write than I had first thought, but I'm working at it, and almost done ^_^ on a brighter note we are fast approaching the part you've all been waiting for ^_^ yep that's right Heero's redeeming…I can't quite put a number on it, but I have a feeling it'll be before chapter 30 ^_^

Thanks to Pious Knight!

Morrighan of Crimson and Sable: Thanks for the review…I'm afriad if you didn't read the side story neekabe wrote, you really won't know why he did. It might be mentioned much later in the story but it doesn't come up in this chapter. You can find the side story in neekabe's profile ^_^ thanks again!

****

Twilight Dusk: ^_^ thanks for the review ^_~ I'm glad you're not really mad at Dante ^_^ that makes his feet happy ^_~ I wanted to tell Dr Shan to do just that "get her nose out of Heero's life" but every time I tried she'd just come back with more questions that would be standard procedure…and I found there was no real way to avoid them ^_^ oh well it all worked out in the end!

****

merlyn1382: All shall be revealed in this chapter ^_^ I can tell you I guess that it's not the other pilots, it's still a little early for that ^_^ thanks for reviewing!

****

Kalorna Enera: sorry it took me so long to update, but here it is ^_^ enjoy! Thanks for reviewing, I'm glad to see that people are beginning to come to like Dante and Ash, it was always my hope that everyone would enjoy them! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and that the wait wasn't that long!

****

angel_of_darkness: I'm glad you read death of dreams ^_^ don't worry this is a Heero Relena story….I guess it would have been nice if Heero knew that eh? then he wouldn't be in the situations he's in now ^_^ thanks for reviewing please enjoy this next chapter ^_^

****

Wolfgirl333: Oh thank you! ^_^ it's nice to know people don't mind waiting…I hate making you wait, but sometimes it just can't be helped. I hope you can come to trust Dante sometime ^_^ it would make him ever so happy! Thanks for the review! enjoy!

****

Tiger Shinigami: WOW!!!! ^__________^ that made my month!!! thank you! I laughed so hard when I read that! ^_^ I'll have you know it reduced Ash to tears ^_~ thanks so much! hope you enjoy this chapter!

****

Anrui Shino: Thanks for the review, nice to know that the length seems right! ^_^ It's interesting that you see some of your friends in Ash ^_^ come to think of it….I have no idea who he's based off of. Some of the characters in her had there beginnings with someone I know…but I'm not sure about Ash….I think he just sort of popped into my brain and took up permanent residence ^_~ Oh and no worries about that organisation ^_^ you'll be seeing them real soon ^_~

****

Raizard333: I have a nasty habit of being mean to Heero ^_^ can't seem to help myself. You're suggestion is definitely interesting and yes it would move the plot…but a little too fast for what I have planned. Heero's name being brought into the clear has already been written…I sort of took up writing this story two years ago…without writing the opening first ^_~ I hope you enjoy this chapter, and where I take it in the future ^_^ thanks again for your review!

****

Rekkaboziegirl: Thanks! I'm glad I've got you hooked *rubs hands together in glee* heh heh ^_^ you can't escape now ^___~ *insane laughter* eh-hem ^_^ don't mind that, thanks for the review! and please enjoy the new chapter ^_~

****

little princess: sorry it wasn't exactly a.s.a.p but I'm working on it! ^_^ glad you're enjoying the story, so I won't delay you any longer in getting to Heero's waking up ^_^ thanks for the review! enjoy ^_~

****

Katie: Oooooo!!!!! ^____^ you like Dragon Knights too!!!!! ^___^ never apologise for a Dragon Knights reference ^__^ that just happens to be my all time favourite manga!!!!! (I'm re-reading it now for what must be the fifth time ^____^ ) Oh I'm so glad Ash came off well in the last chapter…shock is always a hard thing to write. As for why Heero tried to commit suicide, if you want the answer you'll have to go to neekabe's profile and read Mistaken Words: Death or Dreams…..I don't actually tell you why he did, but in this side story you get to see it from his eyes. It's beautifully written, and very sad. Thanks again for your review!

****

raigne: Soon…his name will be cleared soon ^_^ though I guess that's sort of a relative term…what is soon? to be honest I'm not quite sure, I wish I could put an exact number on it, but right now…no such luck…I believe I can tell you with all honesty that it will be before chapter 30…but how much before is also something I'm not all that sure of. I'm planing on putting out another two chapters at once sometime, so that should help to make the time feel shorter ^_^ thanks for the review!

****

amaysky: Thanks for the review! I hope you continue to enjoy the story. As for torturing Heero enough….I'm afraid I haven't, but believe me, so much good is going to come out of the stuff I have done to him….even if it doesn't look like it ^_~ thanks again!

****

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or the characters attached to it ^_~

****

Fading into Memory

_Beep…beep…beep…beep…_

Heero let out a groan, as that infuriatingly annoying and all too familiar sound filtered through his darkness, refusing to let him slip away any longer. Without opening his eyes Heero could tell the room was painfully bright, why there had to be lights on when the sun was pouring in he'd never know. But it started a pounding in his head that matched his heartbeat continually screaming at him from somewhere to his left. Stifling yet another groan, Heero slowly forced his eyes to open, wincing at the suddenly light, and wondering how he had come to be here.

It didn't take long for the answer to hit him…Ash. There could have been none else who would have entered his apartment unannounced and found him. Heero dropped his head into his hand, trying to clear his mind; it didn't take much to remember what had happened, and to wish Ash had never found him. For a time Heero just sat there, unmoving, no longer aware of his surroundings. He wanted desperately to forget all that had come back to him, but it played itself out in his mind again and again. There was nothing to return to now…

Letting his hand fall back to the bed, Heero looked about the room, finding it as he had expected, not much different from the other rooms he had been in before. With some effort he managed to push back some of the pain that echoed through his mind and focus his attention on himself, seeing the IV protruding from the back of his hand, and the wires leading away from his chest. His right hand shook visibly as he reached for the IV line and removed the needle, letting it drop to the floor beside his bed. He then turned his attention to the heart monitor.

His cobalt eyes stared at the little display finding the tiny spike in the otherwise straight line offensive. ~_Did you really want to die?_~ he asked himself silently eyes continuing to stare, if he had why had he started to fight when he had heard Ash's voice shouting to him? Heero growled in pain and frustration, not wanting to consider any of that right now. Reaching out a hand he shut off the machine which had been carefully monitoring him, and then removed the sensors from his chest. The last thing he wanted to be dealing with right now, was a group of doctors and nurses rushing in there thinking he had flat lined. 

Throwing back the covers Heero looked down at himself, seeing that he wore nothing more than a flimsy hospital gown, one that folded across the front snapping into place at both the shoulder and waist. Without much hope he made a quick visual sweep of the room, but did not spot any clothing that he might be able to use. Sighing, Heero shifted his legs so they hung off the bed; he wasn't about to let lack of proper clothing keep him here. His prussian eyes flickered to the doorway, making sure no one was walking in on him, not that there was anything he could do if they did. Heero just hoped he'd be able to make his escape before someone came in to check on him.

Keeping the majority of his meagre weight on his hands that held tightly to the bed, Heero stepped down praying his legs would support him. In this one aspect Heero was rewarded, they trembled slightly but he was able to stand. Stepping away from the bed the former pilot edged his way to the door, glancing out at the busy hallway, men and women moving about hardly seeming to see one another, so focused were they on the tasks at hand. It seemed the perfect opportunity for Heero, his hard eyes spotted a staff only door just down the hall from his room, and he watched carefully as a nurse walked through the door, taking note of which buttons she pressed on the key pad. 

As he moved to step out of the room, Heero's vision blurred and he could feel himself stumble. Cursing silently Heero willed himself to be strong, to force aside this weakness, and make it out of here. Pain was nothing to him; he had lived with it for most of his life, worked through it, forgot it even existed, yet it was not just the physical pain that tore through him, and pain in any other form was far harder to forget. Finally his vision cleared, and Heero released his death grip on doorframe, glancing about to make sure his presence was still going unnoticed. 

Seeing his opening, Heero slipped across the hall, his presence going unnoticed as the men and women around him did not even glance in his direction. Once at the door his fingers hit the keys he had seen only moments before and he passed safely through. Briefly Heero remained leaning against the door, trying to force away the nausea he was feeling. His body was not the least bit pleased with what he had done. He wondered without any true interest how long he had been out, how bad off he had actually been. 

There was no sense dwelling on such matters. The only ones who would actually know were people he really didn't want to be running into at the moment. He blinked in surprise, one of those people was Ash, someone he only now realised had not been waiting in his room. A number of thoughts flashed through his head at that realisation, none of them pleasant. Had he finally found Ash's limit? Had he pushed his last friend away? A deep and consuming emotion swirled up from places unknown, and tried to swallow Heero were he stood. 

Almost gasping for breath, Heero gripped his head trying to force this frightening feeling away. Heero didn't like such unknowns, things that he had no defence against, that he could not fight. Slowly it subsides to nothing more than a whisper leaving in its place the ill feeling he had awoken too, but that was something Heero easily knew how to ignore. Pushing himself off the door, Heero quickly continued his trek down the hall, sore eyes watching the rooms that he passed searching for something without really being able to think of what. All he knew was he'd know it when he saw it.

Suddenly his feet stopped walking and Heero found himself looking up at what was written on the door. It took his fogged mind several moments to actually comprehend that it was a staff change room. Heero reached for the knob, hoping to find the door unlocked. He was rewarded and quickly slipped in. Rows of lockers opened out before him with benches running between each, but his cobalt eyes paid them little to no mind. It was the shelf of unused scrubs that caught his attention, and it was to them that he stepped. They would not be ideal as a clothing choice, but they would not draw near as much attention from random people as the hospital gown he was presently wearing. 

He grabbed down a pair of pants and stepped into them. They were way too long for him and pooled at his feet. It was also much too wide at the waist but he was able to tighten the drawstrings and tie it off enough so that it would not fall off of his narrow hips. With hands that continued to shake despite his best efforts to steady them, Heero unsnapped the gown and let it fall to the floor, he then shrugged into a pale green shirt, and made his way back to the door. It wasn't perfect, but it would be enough until he made it back to his apartment. 

Continuing on his way, Heero found the constant brushing of his pant legs against the floor infuriating. He—who was altogether used to walking silently—found this noise almost mocking, as though he was no longer what he used to be. Heero knew it was only circumstances that hindered him for now, but would even really matter in the end? Did he care enough to continue on with what he had started? Did he need the skills he had wasted his entire life to hone? Heero shook his head trying to banish such dark thoughts, knowing if he let them go on it would simply be a spiral down, and he had no idea where it would end.

He met with no resistance as he made his way to the exit, and he passed more than one person along the way. Doctors and nurses alike let him by without a single question, whether they noticed his presence and only took in the scrubs, or let him slip by like nothing more than a shadow, Heero didn't know nor care. Stepping out of an unmonitored side door, Heero took a moment to get his bearings, having no idea what hospital he had been taken to. The former pilot was relieved upon realising that he was not all that far from his apartment. To his weakened body, the trek appeared much longer than it would have at any other time. Nevertheless Heero pushed on, keeping to the back alleys so as not to draw attention.

Three years had been more than enough time for Heero to know the ins and outs of this entire colony, every tiny alley, every 'secret' path. If he did not want to be found or followed, he was fairly confident no one alive would be able too. Well, at least no one around him now…

That was a line of thought Heero wanted nothing to do with in his present state. Not to mention as he was now, Heero was fairly sure an innocent child would have been able to follow him. He was too out of it to truly choose his path well, and all he could really focus on was the ground, making sure he stepped where it was clear of debris. With halting steps, Heero finally laid eyes on his apartment building. Sweat was trickling down his temples and back from the disgusting effort that had taken, and his knees kept threatening to buckle, but he had made it. 

Remaining in the back alleys, Heero slowly made his way to one of the service entrances, not wanting anyone to see his return. The inside of the apartment complex was neat and clean, even in the places a tenant never entered. Heero took a moment to catch his breath once he was within the safety of the building. Leaning against the cold metal door, Heero almost found himself wanting to slip down to the floor and just let his eyes close. But though he might have been away from the prying eyes on the street, he knew it might only be a matter of before the landlord needed to come down this way. 

Allowing himself a few more minutes to regain what little strength he had, Heero finally pushed himself off the door, and stumbled towards the small service elevator across the room. From memory he unlocked the door, his weary eyes watching as the small red light switched to blue, and the metal door slid away. For him in was a necessity to be able to use this elevator, to have the second entrance and exit. It was an elevator that was hardly ever used, it was there for an emergency situation and for the occasional repairman who needed to move equipment from floor to floor. The landlord was very conscious of keeping his main elevator free for tenant use only.

Heero dropped heavily against the inside wall, reaching out a single hand to press the button to his floor before letting it fall back to his side as the door slid closed. The feeling of his body falling away as the elevator began to move brought the nausea back for the former pilot, and Heero turned his head slightly to rest his cheek against the cold metal willing the feeling to leave. It was with some relief that he stepped off on his floor, cobalt eyes instantly searching out his room. With a single mindedness born from pain and exhaustion, Heero made the final distance quickly and took hold of the knob.

It turned easily in his hand, and Heero stopped pulling back. Why wasn't it locked? He glanced about mind wondering, but the answer came to him, and he shook his head almost feeling like chuckling at his own paranoia. Ash had left with him, obviously not thinking to lock the door, shrugging his shoulders tiredly Heero pushed open the wooden door and stepped into his safe haven. The apartment was cast in shadows as the colonial lights slowly moved towards evening, and the curtains were still half closed as he had left them before the incident…

Closing the door behind him, Heero wanted to just lay down where he was and sleep the rest of his life time away. But something stopped him and he looked up scanning his surroundings again, searching for what his disoriented mind had first missed. There was someone sitting on the couch cloaked in shadows. Heero could feel the man's eyes watching him. "Ash…?" he breathed softly one had moving towards the light switch, even as a feeling deep within him warned this was not his friend.

As light was showered over the room, Heero's heartbeat quickened as he truly saw what he had walked into. The man seated upon the couch was indeed not Ash, but rather a man rivalling Ash for height and with the build of a brick wall. Heero sensed more were present in the apartment than he could actually see, and he was instantly on guard. "We've been expecting you," the man upon the couch drawled casually seeming totally at ease with his position. 

Heero was about to demand who 'we' was, but as the man came to his feet Heero's eyes took note of his chest. The man had left a number of buttons on his shirt undone, no doubt on purpose as he now exposed the phoenix brand, a stark relief of scar tissue on his chest. "Who would have expected a Gundam pilot to be so…" he trailed off for a moment looking down upon Heero with condescending eyes "Small."

Lowering himself into a defensive position Heero watched through the corner of his eyes as more men appeared, all with similar builds to the one he faced now. They weren't about to take any chanced with him, Heero sensed more than saw the man coming up behind, and he knew if he waited any longer he'd be utterly surrounded. With pure adrenaline pumping through his veins, Heero was feeling nothing of the sickness that plagued him before, but he knew it was only a matter of time before this burst of energy would run out. He'd have to make the most of it if he wanted to escape. Launching himself forward, Heero struck for vital areas, knowing right now that was all he could do to try and drop these men.

Yet his sudden strike did not catch these men off guard and Heero quickly found himself hard pressed. Dodging to side with an agility he would not have thought he possessed at the moment, Heero's dark eyes caught sight of a man holding back eyes watching the fight as he fingered something that glinted metallically in his hands. Even from that distance and occupied as he was Heero would know the sight of a syringe, and he redoubled his efforts knowing he had to make it through to a window soon if he wanted to escape.

In the back of his mind Heero knew this was a losing fight, that no matter what he did or how hard he pressed, he was not physically up to this. But that would not stop him now, Heero would never simply give up on his freedom. Feeling his strength wane Heero finally managed to hit the right target, with the space so confined it was difficult for more than one to attack him at any one time, but as that one man dropped the others closed in, clearly having enough of this little game. As his movements became sluggish Heero couldn't help but wonder when he had lost control, when this mission had spiralled away from him.

Before he could react, Heero was grabbed from behind and slammed into a wall, the air was forced from his lungs, and he found painful blackness swirling over his eyes. Yet his struggles did not cease, he could not give in, not yet! He was pulled away from the wall, and he watched almost detached as the pictures Ash had brought—what seemed like ages ago—slipped to the floor. To his fogged mind they seemed to shatter, almost as though their removal was the breaking of the last bond between Heero and his last friend.

Heero gasped for breath, his lungs burning with his need for it, only to have his oxygen forced away again, as an iron-hard fist collided with his diaphragm. His strength failed him then and despite his best efforts Heero's body went limp, he could no longer hold on, and he found himself watching through blurred eyes as the syringe plunged into his upper arm. He felt like a doll being tossed around as the drug coursed through him stealing away the last of his awareness.

***

Ash pushed his hair out of his eyes with a tired hand, as he walked down the familiar tiled floor towards Dante's office. He had a bone to pick with his friend, it was nearing on seven o'clock in the evening of the day after Heero had been admitted to the hospital, and he had only just woken up an hour before. He could still feel the effects of the sedative in his system, which was the reason for his feet to be dragging. Pushing his way into the office Ash made a quick bee line for one of the chairs dropping comfortably down before he even acknowledged Dante.

"There you are," Dante said cheerfully, "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah for damn near twenty-four hours!" Ash hissed glaring at his friend though there was no heat to his stare.

"Ah yes the drug…" the Free Born leader breathed studying Ash carefully, "That was Dr Shan's idea…she didn't seem to think you'd get all that much rest without a little help…I agreed."

"Thanks for asking me first," Ash responded sarcastically rubbing at his tired eyes. "Have you heard anything yet?"

Dante shook his head, "No nothing yet, I called around noon, to just make sure. But he was still out, no changes," the mood in the room had suddenly turned very sober.

"Damn…" it was a soft whisper, but in the silence of the room it was not lost. Ash dropped his head into on hand trying very hard not to look to deeply into this recent event. It was a futile effort and did nothing more than enrage him since he was so helpless. What could he possibly discover without any knowledge? Without any means of speaking to Heero? "It's so frustrating!" he fumed suddenly.

"Ash I've been thinking a lot about what Dr Shan said…" Dante leaned back in his chair, pale eyes very serious. "Heero may never talk to a psychiatrist, but I do think he needs help, it's obvious whatever's bothering him is only going to get worse as time goes on."

"I know, but what the hell can we do about it?! You already said he won't talk to anyone, what else is there?" Ash wanted to help Heero more than anyone; he had watched from the beginning as the former pilot slowly fell, but there had been nothing he could do but slow the process. 

"I don't know…" was the soft admission.

Silence filled the room as both men considered the grim future and the endless possibilities not open to them. Ash had no intention of letting Heero commit suicide not so long as he could do something to prevent it. But would there come a time when not even he could do anything? Had that time not nearly come already? Ash had not even been aware that Heero kept alcohol in his apartment, he had been positive the only place Heero drank was in the bars. The confidence he had once held that he would be able to help his friend in damn near any situation felt truly shatter now. 

The intercoms sudden buzzing caused both men to jump in surprise. Dante pressed a button near the edge of his desk, "Yes what is it Samantha?" he asked calmly.

"Sir, you have a call on line one," she informed softly.

"Thank you," Dante released the switch and reached for the phone, not bothering to turn on the vid screen. "This is Dante," he spoke into the receiver. For a time he just seemed to listen and Ash watched his facial expression carefully not liking the time changes he was seeing. "When?" he demanded suddenly.

"How is this possible?" Dante's obvious frustration was entering his voice, and he seemed to be trying to dial back his anger. 

Ash was on the edge of his seat, a terrible feeling gripping him the longer he remained in the dark. "Yes, yes you did the right thing calling me. Thank you we'll take it from here," rubbing at his forehead, Dante listened for a few minutes longer. 

"Of course doctor, I'll keep you posted," he slowly hung up the phone, his eyes disbelieving as he did so, Ash found himself almost screaming to know what had happened. There was no doubt it concerned Heero.

Dante sighed, "It appears as though Heero has disappeared…"

"What?!"

"A nurse went in to check on his around three hours ago, and found that he had left his room--" Ash shook his head, unable to keep from breaking in then.

"Wait, three hours? Why didn't they call us then?!" he was incredulous at the time they had waited.

Dante raised a hand to silence Ash, "They did not call immediately because they did not want to alarm us if he was still within the hospital. So they wanted to search every floor first."

"Stupid people!" Ash vented bitterly, "If he wasn't in his room there's not a chance he would have lingered on the grounds!"

"Yes but how are they supposed to know that, he was in a coma after all, and he nearly died. The patients their used to dealing with don't often get up and just leave," Dante attempted to soothe, though Ash could tell he was far from relaxed. "Dr Shan called me now because she wasn't sure if we wanted to have the police involved, I think it's best we avoid that."

Ash was quick to nod in agreement about that, "The last thing we need is to be driving him deeper into hiding if he thinks he's being tracked."

"Exactly, he's no longer in the hospital, at least not that they could find so--"

"My guess would be he's back at his apartment," Ash finished, already coming to his feet. 

Dante was standing seconds later a hand gripping Ash's shoulder to keep him from rushing back the way he had come; "You didn't drive did you?" he asked looking deep into Ash's hazel eyes.

"Are you kidding me?" Ash asked back his question answering Dante's. Not waiting any longer, he made for the door, knowing Dante was only a half step behind him. They crossed through the foyer without pausing, Dante merely calling out a quick excuse to Samantha, and then they were making their way to Dante's car. Ash fumbled for a moment with the door handle his fingers seeming to not want to work properly, this only added to his growing frustration and worry.

With both of them sitting in the vehicle, Dante turned the ignition and pulled away, making for the quickest possible route to Heero's apartment complex. Neither of them spoke through the drive, both waiting in terse silence to find out if their friend was alright. The mere fact that Heero had left the hospital did not surprise Ash, but the shape that he was in while doing it did. He could not fight of the strong sense of worry, Heero had been in no condition to be going anywhere, he prayed that upon getting home Heero had not tried to finish what he started. As much as he did not want to believe it had been a suicide attempt, little else presented itself as an answer. 

It couldn't have taken more than fifteen minutes to reach their destination, though it felt like a lifetime to Ash. Together they climbed from the car, and made their way inside, taking the elevator up, Ash watched the numbers flash by willing them to go faster, but they continued on with their stately pace. Finally there was a ding and the door slid opened, Ash was the first off the elevator, and was striding down the hall to Heero's apartment, almost a near run. He had his key in hand by the time he reached the door, but as his hand touch the knob he found it to be unlocked, and alarm bells went off in his head. Casting a fleeting glance Dante's way Ash stepped inside.

"Heero?" he called out silently praying this time he would receive and answer. But yet again there was nothing but silence to answer him. He strode in switching on the lights, his eyes locking upon one thing in the room, that stood out to him. His pictures…they lay in a pile on the floor. Ash stared at them a part of his brain not understanding what he was seeing. He was entirely unaware of Dante's quick sweep of the apartment. He was only brought from his trance when he felt the other's hand on his shoulder.

"He's not here…" Dante whispered softly.

Ash blinked realising he was kneeling on the ground by the pictures, one hand carefully holding them…what did it mean? His hazel eyes scanned the room, noting that Heero's coffee table was slightly out of place. Ash's attention then moved to the wall where the pictures had once hung, and he saw that there was an impression in the drywall. "What does this all mean?" he questioned without realising he actually spoke.

"It would appear he's finally decided to leave…" Dante responded though his voice held more than a note of disbelief. 

"No…" Ash shook his head refusing to believe that, Heero would have been in no condition to just pick up and leave.

He felt the hand on his shoulder give a little squeeze, "I don't like the idea any more than you do--" he began but Ash would hear no more of it.

"It doesn't make sense!" he exploded coming to his feet, and rushed to Heero's bedroom throwing the closet doors wide opened. "Why are all his clothes still here?" Ash stopped at the spare room, "And his laptop?" He moved back to the living room, becoming more agitated by the second, "The coffee table's out of place, and look at this wall," he pointed to the indentation, "And these!" Ash held the pictures to Dante's face; "He didn't just leave!"

Dante seemed stunned for a moment his pale eyes looking where Ash had directed then back to the man, "You think he was taken? Who would do such a thing?"

Ash seemed to draw in a breath, "I don't know!!" He shouted voicing all his frustration over everything, all the unanswered questions, all the mysteries and half-truth, over everything he had ever wanted to know about his quiet Japanese friend. "Damnit!! This is my fault!!" Ash continued to fume pacing about the living room.

"Why?" Dante demanded back.

"Because I wasn't there for him!!"

"Would he have accepted you help if you were?" ever the voice of reason Dante attempted to calm his friend.

"I could have stopped this from happening!!" Ash threw his arms out gesturing at the room.

"We don't even know what happened yet."

"He didn't just leave!" he pointed a single finger Dante's way making it clear he wouldn't consider that scenario. Then his shoulders dropped as his gaze fell to the picture he held still in his right hand; "He wouldn't just leave without telling me…" it was a statement Ash fought to believe, that he needed to believe.

***

~_Heero's ice cold eyes over looked the daunting task, which fell away before him. Wing Zero lay upon the cold metal floor, seeming a lifeless husk of the once magnificent machine it had been. Over ninety percent of the outer body had been damaged as he had fell through earth's atmosphere in an attempt to destroy the last large hunk of Libra. And a substantial amount of the inner workings of the Gundam had been damaged to near uselessness. Sure it could still move, and if necessary fight, Heero hoped that wouldn't be the case. But at the same time a part of him simply couldn't leave the weapon as it was._

He didn't quite know what it was about Zero that just wouldn't let him walk away. Perhaps it was the fact that he had never seen a machine to match it. Had never experience the power that he felt when strapped in. In either case, what was there outside of this Gundam for his life? School? They couldn't teach him anything he didn't already know and then some. Work? At what? The majority of his skills were geared towards what he was standing and looking at right now. So why not? Why not rebuild it, if for no other reason than that he could. He would always have the power to destroy it, if it came to that, and the Gundam could find no safer place to be than in his hands.

And so it was that Heero found himself standing on an abandoned satellite with all the equipment and means to rebuild his now fallen ally. It was a job he looked forward to starting, such work was something he had always been able to relax into. Of course during the war there had been a certain amount of urgency in getting the task done quickly, as you never knew when the next attack would come. But still he was working with his hands, and letting his mind wander to all the possibilities of changes he could make. He felt as though in these moments he was actually reaching a form of his full potential. Heero tried to ignore the way those thoughts sometimes made him feel, what was the point in dwelling, he was what he was and nothing could change that.

Heero moved to take a step toward his Gundam when a wave of nausea nearly brought him to his knees, he felt suddenly very hot, and his vision began to blur. ~What the hell is this?~ he thought darkly, forcing the strangely familiar feeling away. He had never been sick before, his immune system was always too strong for such petty illnesses, but this feeling seemed to attack with a vengeance working its way to the forefront of his mind despite his best efforts to ignore it. Heero felt this was all so familiar as though he had lived this before, but at the same time he knew that just wasn't possible…so what then was this feeling?

As he made to take another step, realisation struck him like an external blow he could not see or feel, but he knew had hit nonetheless. Heero turned his thoughts entirely inwards struggling against what he couldn't see but knew was there. They had him! They were raping his mind again! He had to put and end to this! Throwing the full extent of his will against the barrier he could neither see nor feel, the panic that had gripped his heart would not let him stop the fight. He needed to be free no matter what it would take!

Slowly the world around him seemed to distort and fade being replaced by only blackness, but that was not all…~

Heero's struggles turned from the mental to the physical. He could feel the bonds than held him prisoner, the IVs that dripped the cursed drug into his arms. He could hear the machines around him and the hum that filled the once empty void. Soon there were also voices, shouts of surprise and anger. Heero knew he was severely disadvantaged at the moment, the Inner Circle was all around him, and he was not even entirely free. He fought with all his strength feeling one of the wrist shackles break with a sickening tear of flesh.

"What the hell's happening?!" a voice shouted over the din.

"He's waking up!" another returned just as shocked, "I don't know how this is possible!"

"Get him back under!" the first roared.

Hands were all around him holding him down, sticking things into him. He could see them, he couldn't fight, desperation gripped him, and a roar of his own escaped his lips sounding more like a wild animal than human. But it was all in vain…

~_…Heero's world once more materialised around him the blackness fading slowly, and everything seemed _to be as it once was. He looked about bring a hand to his forehead as he did. "What happened?" _he wondered aloud, prussian eyes looking over his yet to be started work. A small voice in the back of his mind tried to call to him, and he had a strange feeling that this wasn't right, but he could not put his finger on what felt so off. Heero still felt strangely ill, and a pounding had begun in the back of his head, but it was nothing he didn't think he'd be able to forget once he started._

Walking towards his computer table, Heero struck a few keys, bringing up the schematics of his Gundam, along with the improvements he wanted to attempt. He rubbed absently at his eyes still unable to shake that odd feeling. With a sigh, he turned towards Zero, wondering where it was he wanted to begin, there was so much that needed to be done. "One thing at a time…" he breathed softly, stopping in mid stride as he made his way to the Gundam as he felt a tingle between his shoulder blades. Almost as though someone was watching him.

Spinning around, Heero scanned the large room where he stood, but there was no one, and he knew there wouldn't be. He had made a thorough sweep of the satellite before ever settling in to begin his work. If there had been anyone or any computer monitoring systems, Heero knew he would have found them. So he shrugged the feeling aside and continued on his way to Zero, it was time he started to rebuild.~

Thanks for Reading!

****

A Void That Can't Be Filled:

Shuddering slightly, Relena walked on eyes looking without really seeing the growing beauty around her. She thought she might have heard Luc call out to her but she just kept walking her mind still so deep in thought, and for once she wasn't throwing them back into the deep recesses of her mind. Despite her best efforts Relena could not seem to banish the sight of his cobalt eyes from her mind, at the time she had told herself she would shed no more tears over him, but the fire of that moment she just couldn't seem to grab hold of now. All she could see was the lost need in the very back of his eyes, a void much like the one she was suffering with, it was what had eaten his soul, and it was eagerly devouring the rest of him.

"Relena!" Luc's voice yanked her from her silent contemplations even as his hands took her shoulders halting her slow walk through the garden. She blinked several times looking up into his angry face, "You're letting this eat away at you!" Once again concern burned in the back of his eyes, "You can't let him win by dwelling on this."

Staring into his eyes it struck Relena then, why Luc hated so much to know she was thinking in any way about Heero. She had gone through so much to love Heero with all her heart, how then had it all gone wrong? Had he faked all that he felt during their time together? And what was that look in his eyes whenever he looked at her…what was that unknown need? None of this could be what it seemed, there had to be an explanation, and it was that that Relena was holding on for. She could not simply tell herself she didn't love him anymore, no matter how she had tried, in an effort to lessen the pain. Relena knew she'd always love Heero Yuy, despite past events and unanswered questions.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	20. A Void That Can't be Filled

****

Mistaken Words

AN: Thank you all for being so patient with me! Here's the latest chapter, and I'm steadily working on the next, I'm really hoping I'll be able to get it out to all of you quickly! I hope you all continue to enjoy the story as we begin to move into its second phase. Please Note for some odd reason fanfiction.net is no longer recognising certain symboles including my happy faces so be assured I'm smiling at all of you, and now the symbole to separate scenes is the :::::::::::: and so on, the line of them appears to get longer as the chapter goes

**Thanks to Pious Knight! Once again you are the King of Men!! Not that you ever lost that title I just felt I haven't been giving you the recognition that you deserve **

Also I've been noticing a lot of confusion in peoples reviews, and I can fully understand that with so much time between updates (so sorry) and with just a complicated plot it would be all to easy to become lost. So I thought I'd give people a brief recap of all that's happened so they are no longer confused. to those of you who have a handle of the story please read on and enjoy. For anyone how has questions (that I'll probably answer in your responses ) **here is a** **brief summary of the story so far**:

Heero discovered this very secret group but the only way to infiltrate them would be to distance himself completely from the other pilots. This group is known only as the Inner Circle, and their defining feature is the phoenix brand on their chests. So Heero made everyone believe he had tried to assassinate Relena and joined this group (faking the brand) for three years he has been trying to discover what their ultimate goal is. During this time he's hired by Dante to bring Relena to the colony (he doesn't know the reason why at the time, but he does it to make sure that she's safe) in the end Dante takes Heero because he's the Gundam pilot he's been looking for. And from Heero's memories he build Wing Zero, and then destroys it while declaring his colonies independence. Because of this the Inner Circle also finds out that Heero's a Gundam pilot and takes him for the same purpose, though they don't intend on destroying it.

There that about covers all that's happened so far 

Morrighan of Crimson and Sable: thanks for the review! I'm glad you went to read the side story, does make things a little more angsty doesn't it? Hope you enjoy this chapter and keep your fingers crossed that I can get back into the once a week posting 

Rekkaboziegirl: it did indeed sound philosophical I'm glad I have you hook, I hope you remain so Thanks for the review!

Tiger Shinigami: heh heh cliffhangers can be real fun I think I have a few more coming up in the future…but I don't know where I'm ending the chapters of the parts I've already written….so I could end up being really evil thanks for reviewing!

NafX: Thank you very much! That truly meant a lot to me here is more for you! I hope you continue to enjoy where I'm taking this plot line 

Wolfgirl333: Well your wait for now at least is over however once you've read the chapter it'll only begin again…kind of depressing if you think about it no worries the other pilots are certainly coming back into the story, they all have a large part to play. Thanks for the review!

merly1382: Thank you! ….what would happen if they did hurt poor Heero….? Hope you enjoy this chapter 

raigne: Thanks for the review! actually Dante had nothing to do with Heero's disappearance, he's as confused as Ash is over that, and neither does Luc know. Yep this story will definitely reach chapter thirty, but that won't be the end that's just my guess for the time when Relena and Heero will be getting back together, though it could be sooner….I'm just being conservative so people don't get their hopes up 

angelofdarkness: The Inner Circle is the organisation Heero distanced himself from the other pilots to become a part of, he's trying to bring them down. Yep they are most certainly trying to rebuild Zero from his memories, but unlike Dante their intentions aren't peaceful. heh heh this chapter will answer all your questions about Luc and Relena so I'll just let you read thanks for the review!

Kalorna Enera: Nope not Dante's men the Inner Circle if you haven't read the brief summary at the beginning of this chapter, read it now it should help! thanks so much for the review hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last!

Raizard333: You'd be guessing correctly Ah as to Heero's name being cleared at first it's just a very small group of people the Pilots Une Zechs etc but in the end (much to Heero's dislike sorry can't explain that now) his name does get cleared to the whole world. I'm sorry you feel this is taking me a while, this story is more a novel than a short fanfic, so I'm trying not to rush it. I'll be putting out two chapters at once soon so I'm hoping that will help thanks for the review!

little princess: Laughs this is great logic! and I'll do my best The Inner Circle captured him because they now know he's a Gundam pilot, you can check out the summary at the beginning of the chapter, that should help clear up any confusion if not ask any questions you might have Thanks for the review!

confused mind: Alright you do need answers, and these appear to be the most commonly asked questions as well so here I go Heero was captured by the Inner Circle. His name will be cleared at around chapter 30 (this is a conservative guess it could very well be sooner) Heero and Relena will be back together at around the same time that his name is cleared. You can find Death of Dreams by searching for the Author's name **neekabe** she also has two other Mistaken Words stories there as well! thanks you so much for the review! and if you find you still have more questions check out the summary it might help as well 

Erinamation-limited2-nothing: So happy you're loving it thank you so much for the review and no worries I'm clearly nuts-er for writing this long thing no one in my family wants me working on this one, they want me to focus my attentions on publishable stories, but for now this one is more fun! 

Katie: Yes warning the doctors does seem like the right thing to do but imagine the trouble poor Heero would have had getting out of there if they had been watching. Personally I didn't really consider that when I was writing that conversation from hell aka conversation with Dr Shan your foresight in the matter of Heero with the evil people is amazing after that attempted breakout they aren't taking any chances with him, which will make the whole matter nastier for poor Heero. Thank you so much for the review!

Twilight Dusk: Laughs thanks for the review! Love the way you wrote that…not sure why…it just comes off sounding so neat! Thanks again 

amaysky: thank you so much! Hope you enjoy this chapter too!

Kitty2santan: Thank you very much! Sorry this update wasn't as soon as I'd have liked it to be! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing…there was a time that I owned Ash and Dante…but then neekabe stole them….I sure hope she's feeding them….

****

A Void That Can't be Filled

Relena sat deep in the plush couch allowing every muscle to relax in its own time. It was so nice to finally have a day off, one that was for her and her alone, where she could sit down and do absolutely nothing all day.Stretching out her feet so they were resting on the polished coffee table before her, Relena sank even deeper into her chair. In the back of her mind she could not forget the dangers of having so much time to herself, so much time to let her mind just wander. But Relena tried not to dwell in the dark corners of her mind, not on a day that was so beautiful and so relaxing.

It was right near the end of April and spring was in full bloom outside the large bay windows. Almost four months had passed since Dante had announced Freedom's Point would separate itself from the ESUN. That time had not been easy, but Relena had to admit the people of both the colonies and earth had taken the surprising announcement rather well. Sure there had been bumps along the road, and more than one place had been thrown into a panic over the brief sight of a Gundam. Yet all of that had been easily taken care of, the people were always looking for reassurance, and they seemed to have come to trust Quatre, Zechs, and herself a little more that perhaps they should; it certainly made putting out the fires easier.

Dante had been keeping open lines of communications with the ESUN, wanting to appear open and honest to the rest of the world, so they would not begin to fret that he was planning a massive takeover. Relena wondered at how he could be so honest when he had done so much that would be looked down upon. He had kidnapped her! That should have been enough to condemn him on the spot, but like with so many other things Dante had been fully prepared for such accusations. He did not deny his actions, and had apologised in what sounded to be a heartfelt way, nevertheless he had quickly pointed out that if Une was to take actions against him she'd have to announce to the world why. No one liked the idea of admitting Relena had been taken, besides it put a far darker spin on the whole event, something they all wanted to avoid.

She had had a great deal of time to examine her emotions involving this whole event, and no matter how she thought and looked at it, she could not decide what to feel. Yes she felt as though she had been unforgivably violated but she just could not seem to make the anger stick. It shocked her, and she had spent long hours discussing it with both Trowa and Noin, and they both had endless list of reasons why she should be mad. Nevertheless she just couldn't be, instead all Relena could feel was a gaping void centred at the very core of her being. It had been slowly chipping away at her soul for three years, each day seemed to tear away another small piece, and there was nothing to halt this slow decay.

Shaking her head, Relena quickly stood and began to pace the room, not wanting her mind to dwell upon feelings she could do nothing about. But there seemed no escaping from them, no matter where she looked there was something however small and insignificant that reminded her of all that had been lost, stolen, and shattered in her life. It shocked Relena that she had not realised how much of him there still was in this room even three years later. Was it seeing him again after all that time that made her see him now? Relena shut her eyes trying to block out the memories she had at one time never wanted to forget, but even there they danced vividly around her, seeming to rejoice at her sudden weakness.

Biting back a sob Relena bolted from the room, making for the first exit she could get to, and slammed the door behind her. She leaned back against the door scrubbing at her eyes willing herself not to cry, she was beyond that now! There was nothing tears could do for her! They could not bring back the past! Drawing in a slow breath, Relena steadied herself and finally opened her eyes, looking out at the room she now stood within. Warm sunlight spilled in through crystal clear glass… bulletproof, but she preferred not to think about that. Blooming flowers and deep emerald plants sat about the cosy room adding a light and life of their own, to this tiny hideaway. 

This was one of her favourite rooms to retreat to. She loved the flowers and the intoxicating perfume they scented the room with. Taking a moment to simply breathe it all in, Relena felt herself begin to relax, this room was never the same, it was always changing, as old bloomed into new. This was a safe room, despite the fact that he had once shared its seclusion with her. With a sigh, Relena pushed herself off the door and stepped deeper into the room. Almost like a moth to flame she found herself being drawn to the sun filled windows and the warmth that spilled over her.

Relena rested her head against the glass for a moment before turning her back to it and looking over the room once more. Rich mahogany furniture littered the room situated here and there among the vibrant blooms, but she did not feel like seating herself among them. The room, though open and welcoming, felt stifling to her all of a sudden, and she knew she needed to get out. Reaching for the door handle, Relena slipped her small feet into the sandals that waited there and stepped outside so nothing stood between her and the golden sunlight. 

It was a particularly warm day, as the birds sang majestically in the trees, creating a choir no human voice could match. Stepping out onto the green grass Relena turned her face up to the sun allowing it to bathe her pale features, and as it heated her with its natural warmth, the darkness that had threatened to shroud her seemed to fall away. She felt alone, yet not in desolate sense of the word, Relena felt as though she were safe, secure, hidden away from the people and places which caused her pain. She wanted the moment to last, to let the warm sunlight purge her soul of all the darkness she had carried there for so long.

A soft voice calling her from behind shattered the moment like a fine pane of glass, and Relena slowly opened her eyes and turned to see a small woman standing half out of the door. "I'm sorry to bother you miss," the girl continued once she realised she had Relena's attention; "But you have a guest." 

Relena offered the young girl a smile and stepped back towards the house, already with an idea of who her guest was, "Please show him in." The maid gave a small curtsy then moved off deeper into the home, Relena wasn't all that fond of the formalities some felt the need to give her, but she had long ago stopped asking them to stop, as she had learned it did little to deter them. Walking into the almost glowing sunroom a smile already lighting her features, as she saw the man walk in. "I didn't think doctor's made house calls any more," she joked eyes sparkling as she crossed the room to hug Luc.

"I guess some of us just care more," he whispered looking down at her with intense eyes. They had been going out for some time now, their relationship only briefly broken when Luc had surprised her with a proposal. Relena still held feeling of fear at that memory, it had been so sudden, and she was not by any means ready for such a step. She had broken everything off right then and there, but with the help of Trowa, who had been with her through so many tough times she had decided to give Luc another chance. Relena truly did like spending time with him, he made her feel special, and clearly listened to what she had to say. She didn't think it was likely the relationship would ever become as serious as Luc so obviously hoped, but who knew? Anything was possible. Besides Trowa had put it best, when he told her she couldn't remain alone forever, if she did the void would only eat away at her faster.

"Relena?" Luc asked softly as he cupped her face with one hand drawing her out of her thoughts. She blinked looking up at him, "Are you alright?"

"Of course" she smiled, "I was just thinking, that's all." Together they settled themselves on one of the mahogany trimmed couches; Luc relaxing in the corner while Relena sat nearby facing him.

"This is an odd day for you to take off isn't it?" Luc began with a seemingly innocent comment.

Relena rolled her eyes skyward, though her lips did twitch slightly, "Stop worrying so much Luc, most of the ESUN is taking this same day off. It's not like we either need or want to be deliberating about matters every day," he always seemed to think of her as fine crystal, something that could shatter if not handled with the greatest care. It was a habit she was attempting to break him of, as it was incredibly frustrating to be looked upon as so fragile.

Luc let a smile touch his features as he reached out a hand to take her small one; she allowed their fingers to entwine and in her mind she envisioned the engagement ring encircling her finger. _Is that something you really want?_ she asked herself, trying to imagine such a future. There had been a time when Relena had no doubts that she wanted such a future for herself, and there had been no doubts about who she wanted to share that time of her life with. Blinking back the sudden tears she could feel pricking at her eyes Relena tried desperately to stop that line of thought.

"What were you doing before I came here?" Luc's voice broke through her thoughts thankfully giving her something to take hold of, some thing to focus upon.

She smiled at him, an expressing she hoped did not look too sad. "You'll be pleased, I was relaxing," her eyes left his face to focus upon their hands, she did not think she'd be able to hold her expression for much longer.

The fingers of his free hand brushed against her cheek, "You're not happy," he stated simply, trying to draw her eyes back to his face.

"It's nothing really," Relena tried to brush it all aside.

"That's what you always say, and I know it's just not true."

Relena shook her head, "Please don't worry about it," she came suddenly to her feet tugging at his hand, "C'mon let's go outside, it's so nice out today."

For a moment Luc allowed himself to be pulled in the direction of the door, though he didn't look entirely pleased. Stepping back out into the warm noonday sun Relena once more felt her spirits lift, as the weight of memories, and unattainable wishes lifted from her soul. Yet the peace was short lived, stepping away from Luc Relena closed her eyes and turned her face towards the sun, only to hear his words, and wish she hadn't. 

"This is because of him isn't it?" Luc's words cut through the peaceful moment with a razor edge. For a moment Relena considered ignoring the comment in the hopes that Luc might actually let the matter drop for once, but that wasn't to be. She felt him take hold of her shoulders and turn her to face him. "Why can't you just forget him?!" there was a fire of frustration deep within his voice.

"Please Luc, just let it go," Relena sighed looking away from the man's intense eyes, this was not a discussion she wanted to go through again, not on such a beautiful day like today. 

"How can I let it go Relena?" he asked her suddenly, "When I can see how much this is tormenting you." His tone had softened and his eyes looked truly concerned, but this was all something Relena did not want to deal with now, she pulled away from Luc walking deeper into her garden.

She knew that for some reason Luc felt threatened by any memory of Heero; why, she didn't know. It wasn't like the world knew there had been anything between them, and the never would know. Those memories were ones hidden away where only her dreams dared take her, and from them she always woke crying. Seeing him again after so much time had only made matters worse, and now to be away again…it seemed to have reopened old wounds, ones she thought could bleed no more. 

Relena reached out a hand absently to brush at the pale bud on a rose bush; she felt more than saw Luc's presence as he trailed along behind her. Nothing had changed in her resolve to find Heero and bring him to the proper justice, the mystery behind his assassination attempt gnawed at her daily. Yet as she thought back on the time at the cottage—when he had appeared cloaked shadow, and lacking the soul she had years before tried to fan to life—she could not help but see a need in those steel hard eyes. It was something she had missed before, at the time dwelling on him had not seemed the most necessary thing to do.

However now, with all the time she had been given, once her memories of the event had actually returned, Relena could not seem to stop thinking about it. He had not been around her all that much then, as though he was going out of his way to avoid her. And yet he had been the one waiting for her in the tree, knowing instantly that she would be able to get away from Ash and make an escape. Relena could still feel a shiver run down her back, at the thought of Heero having been there during construction of the cottage, as that was the only possible way he could have known about it. 

Shuddering slightly, Relena walked on eyes looking without really seeing the growing beauty around her. She thought she might have heard Luc call out to her but she just kept walking her mind still so deep in thought, and for once she wasn't throwing them back into the deep recesses of her mind. Despite her best efforts Relena could not seem to banish the sight of his cobalt eyes from her mind, at the time she had told herself she would shed no more tears over him, but the fire of that moment she just couldn't seem to grab hold of now. All she could see was the lost need in the very back of his eyes, a void much like the one she was suffering with, it was what had eaten his soul, and it was eagerly devouring the rest of him.

"Relena!" Luc's voice yanked her from her silent contemplations even as his hands took her shoulders halting her slow walk through the garden. She blinked several times looking up into his angry face, "You're letting this eat away at you!" Once again concern burned in the back of his eyes, "You can't let him win by dwelling on this."

Staring into his eyes it struck Relena then, why Luc hated so much to know she was thinking in any way about Heero. She had gone through so much to love Heero with all her heart, how then had it all gone wrong? Had he faked all that he felt during their time together? And what was that look in his eyes whenever he looked at her…what was that unknown need? None of this could be what it seemed, there had to be an explanation, and it was that that Relena was holding on for. She could not simply tell herself she didn't love him anymore, no matter how she had tried, in an effort to lessen the pain. Relena knew she'd always love Heero Yuy, despite past events and unanswered questions.

"He's a cold blooded killer!" Luc vented, "Hell he almost killed you! How can you even spare a moments thought for him?!"

Relena's face hardened at Luc's description of Heero, and she pulled away from him, "You wouldn't understand," she told him softly.

He shook his head in disbelief, "I understand what's in front of me, what I can see with my eyes, I understand the reality of this situation."

"But you don't understand the entire situation!" Relena threw back at him lengthening the distance between them.

Luc reached out to grab her hand, "Relena," his voice almost seemed to have a pleading note in it.

"We go through this every time!" she fumed yanking her hand away from him, "I don't want to talk about this!"

"You seem eager enough to talk about it with Trowa," Luc shot back, sounding bitter.

"Does it bother you that much that I want other men in my life besides just you?" Relena all but shouted, with anger boiling she turned her back to Luc and walked back the way she came only to be confronted by Wufei. He had been waiting down the path a short way, and she flushed at the thought that he had been able to hear their argument. Not that there had been anything embarrassing said, only that he might have been witness to the relationship finally dissolving. In all honesty she wasn't sure why the thought of it bothered her, it just did. "Did you hear…?" she asked softly aware that Luc was coming up from behind perhaps hoping to continue the argument.

Wufei didn't need to respond with words to answer her question, his features were a dark mask, as he looked back over her shoulder to where Luc was following behind. "Your reservations for lunch are for one o'clock, will there be one or two?" Wufei informed her voice calm, though she could see in his onyx eyes he felt anything but.

"One," Relena replied one hand rubbing at her eyes, frustrated that tears felt the need to come when she was angry. Without looking back she stepped closer to Wufei accepting the arm he offered and together they made their way back to the house. "But you'll always be welcomed to join me," she whispered softly, and she felt him squeeze her hand in return.

_::::::::::::_

_Heero's eyes glanced away from the screen that he had been staring at for several hours straight as he worked on the formatting for Zero's internal systems. He resisted the urge to look over his shoulder, searching for the eyes that he knew were watching. He never felt alone these days, and he knew exactly why. They could no longer hide the truth from him, to convince him that everything was normal, he knew exactly where he was, and it was not in a forest somewhere deep within Asia. The Inner Circle had tried numerous times to set him off balance by changing his surroundings, dipping into a different memory in the hopes he'd forget where he was. And for a time it had worked, yet no matter where they moved him Heero had always found something that reminded him. At first it had been sheer luck, and after a while he had started leaving himself little messages…something that would appear no matter where they put him next, so he'd always know._

After a while even that became unnecessary, there was nothing they could do that could confuse him now. He knew they rode within his head watching and recording everything he created, and every program he made. Heero was not sure if they were aware that he knew where he was, they didn't seem to be, and he wanted to keep it that way. As things stood right now Heero had no idea how much information he had already given to them, for all he knew they already had a fully operational Zero. Silently he prayed that wasn't the case, and even if they did, that they wouldn't be able to decipher his controls for the Gundam. As he had with the one Dante had forced him to build Heero messed with the controls again, already knowing that they wouldn't be able to pick up on the subtle switches. 

His greatest fear though, was that the Zero System was operational in the Gundam. As it turned out Dante had not had demonic plans for the Gundam, and had—as he said he would—destroyed it. However Heero doubted the same could be said for the Inner Circle, at the very least he knew the controls for the Gundam would slow them down, but if they were to figure them out the Zero System would be the most dangerous weapon. With memories entirely too fogged to remember much of what happened the 'day' before Heero couldn't be sure he had been able to avoid the systems creation. It was an effort just to maintain the knowledge that he was in a virtual world and not the real one, and all things considered he felt that was the most important thing to keep hold of right now.

Heero blinked out of his thoughts and looked back to the screen before him illuminating the cockpit of Zero even as the sun was setting in a brilliant display of reds and gold. For a moment he stared without comprehending at the mass of coding his fingers had been typing even as his mind was drifting. They had nothing to do with the program he was working on, in fact they were directly linked to the Zero Systems program. Worried now, Heero carefully looked them over, his mind translating the seeming gibberish into understandable information. Slowly a small smile spread across his lips, as he realised what this code would do to the system. It would enhance its functions, cause the systems control on a persons mind to be increased by near a factor of ten. No normal person could be able to contend with this onslaught, quite probably they would slip into a coma if they didn't outright die. 

Sighing in relief Heero deleted the unnecessary coding, for the time feeling secure that he had taken care of the problem of the System. He couldn't afford to waste any more time now; he needed to keep his mind focused on his new mission, so they wouldn't suspect anything. They didn't even realise that in making the world utterly real they had set him up with a means of escape. Heero had not realised it right away but with his mind hooked up to all sorts of computers in the real world he was in fact connected to the real world even where he sat now. There wasn't much he could do to free himself from the restraints but that wasn't to say he couldn't send a message to someone to get him out.

The former pilot's fingers picked up speed again, as he continued the coding for one of the lesser internal systems. Spaced out within the computer language was a message encrypted so not just anyone would be able to understand what he was sending. This message was being sent to the one person Heero was positive would be able to end this, who would have the means and abilities to get into the colony find where he was being held, and kill him. It was the only answer to this whole mess, already Heero had betrayed his cause by giving Dante Zero, it didn't matter that the Gundam had been destroyed, he had given it. And now he was in the hands of the very people he had been attempting to take down, the organisation that he had sacrificed his former life to be a part of. Not that it mattered anymore…it wasn't like he had anything to return to now.

:::::::::::::::::::::

Dante stood in the small shuttle port, pale eyes gazing up at the private shuttle that waited before him. It had been a busy four months for him, as he established proper connections with the other colonies and the earth. While at the same time trying to reassure the citizens of both that he was not planning any hostilities against them. Over all he felt that everything had gone rather well for all sides involved, he was positive not everyone felt that way. But then again, their positions in this whole matter were not quite as good as his, not that he chose to flaunt his advantage, it was only there as a reassurance for himself and Ash.

Thought of the other man caused Dante to sigh, both out of worry and sadness. His friend had not been himself since the day Heero had gone missing; he had spent the vast majority of his time searching for the former Gundam pilot, but as yet had been met with no luck. Dante was not all that surprised by Heero's lack of appearance, he was a former pilot after all, and it was commonly known how well these young men could evade those who pursued them. However, that didn't stop Ash from continuing his search, convinced Heero had been taken against his will. It had become an obsession for him, and all Dante could do was pray Heero made an appearance. Though the more time that passed the less likely that seemed to be a possibility.

Dante banished such dark thoughts from his mind letting a welcoming smile grace his features as the person he was awaiting stepped out from the shuttle. Une's features were schooled into a cool mask, it was a political mask meant for the cameras that began flashing the minute she appeared, but Dante could see the spark in her beautiful eyes. It was that spark, that fire that had allowed her to attain her position, that had caused Treize to take notice of her so many years back, and it was that spark that he found captivating. 

The near silence that had shrouded the spaceport had shattered with the first camera flash, as desperate reporters shouted their questions, hoping for an answer. Neither Dante nor Une paid them any real mind, there would be a full news conference later in her visit, at which time they would be given a chance to ask the questions they just couldn't seem to contain now. This was of course a historic event, as Freedom's Point and the earth signed their first trade agreement. Stepping forward, Dante left his aids behind and met Une just as she stepped off the last step, and he took both her hands in his as they turned together to great one another in a way all the pictures could capture.

"So have you been adequately blinded yet?" Dante asked softly as they continued to smile for all the cameras, with their hands held in a welcoming greeting. Though it felt to be a little more to Dante, Une's hands were so soft, yet at the same time strong, she was a warrior first and foremost even if she had placed the gun aside in favour of a diplomat's pen. 

"Yes I think I'll have spots before my eyes for most of the evening," she replied just as quietly, her voice holding an almost laughing quality to it.

Nodding mutely Dante offered Une his arm as a true gentlemen would and led her to his private limousine, which would take them back to his home where they would have a private dinner. The camera's continued to flash even after they had both entered the car, and it began to pull away. Dante seriously doubted any of those pictures would actually end up in any of the newspapers, yet still they were always taken. Silence ruled over the car for several minutes as they slowly made their way through the busy streets of the colony. 

"I don't believe I saw Ash with you…" Une commented softly eyes watching the changing scenery.

"No," Dante replied eyes watching her for a moment before returning to the spot of air he had been studying before, "He's been rather busy with another project."

"I see…"

Dante was not all that happy with the awkward conversation, but knew for now there was nothing to do but go with it. "How was Relena when you left?" he inquired rather boldly.

The spark had grown brighter as Une turned to regard him; "She was fine, doing quite well actually." Her features seemed to take on an incredulous smile, "She seems to have forgiven you faster than anyone else." 

"I'm glad to hear that, and what about you Commander?"

She studied him for a moment, "What choice have I been given but to forgive you…"

"That somewhat harsh my Lady," Dante watched her through the corner of one eye.

"So was kidnapping Relena, knowing full well we wouldn't announce it to the world, thus allowing you to get away with it." Despite Une's words there was no heat within them, this was a matter long since left behind them, though it seemed to come up each time they met. 

"I'd say despite my methods, which yes I do regret resorting too, it all worked out," Dante countered quickly.

"I wouldn't have believed a man or your intelligence would believe the ends justify the means," Une smiled back feeling she had won this verbal battle.

"Ah touché," he conceded with a smile of his own.

Their conversation came to an end just as the limousine pulled up at Dante's house, and he quickly climbed from the car, moving to Une's side to help her out before the chauffeur could even think to offer such service. Une seemed to appreciate the gesture as she accepted his hand standing to her full height, which was nearly a foot shorter that him. Together they made their way to his front door showered in the brilliant flashes of numerous cameras. Dante felt the need to breathe a sigh of relief once the where within his home the door closed securely behind them.

"They don't usually pay me all that much attention," Dante explained, with how small the colony was he had always been easily accessible to the people. This allowed him to avoid the usual fanfare other politician had to deal with, however it also made him rather uncomfortable with the attention when he did have to deal with it. Though that was something he'd never let them see, he was after all a leader of the people.

"Why Dante, are you uncomfortable in front of the camera?" Une asked with a chuckle.

He offered her his most charming smile, "Of course not, what would ever give you that idea?" 

She just looked at him, one hand on her hip, but let the matter drop as he motioned for them to both move deeper into the house. "I've arranged for your aids to be residing within easy walking distance of the Colonial Hall, which is also right near downtown. As important as this meeting is, I don't believe it needs to be twenty-four hour business," Dante lead the way into a comfortably furnished living room where they both took seats even as a young man came in bearing a tray with two fine cups of steaming tea.

"I'm sure my aids will thank you for that," Une took a sip of her offered tea, and Dante watched with interest to catch her reaction.

Taking a slow sip of his own, to help hide his smile, Dante spoke without really looking at the lovely woman sitting beside him. "I hope you find the tea acceptable," there was no doubt in his mind that she would.

"It's perfect," she breathed taking yet another sip, allowing the flavour to play over her tongue before she actually swallowed it. "It's just the way I like it," mentally Dante was patting himself on the back as he settled back on the plush couch, placing his own tea on a small side table. 

"I was hoping you wouldn't mind accepting the hospitalities of my home during your stay," Dante smoothly changed the subject, already knowing Une was not ready to step away from tea that she held in her hand. Looking into her eyes he could tell she was searching her memories for something particular, so he waited to see what it was, hoping it was the opening he had been waiting for.

Une turned to face him fully soft brown eyes, taking him in sharply, "I never told you I like a little lemon in my tea." 

"I've watched you make it before," Dante explained with a hint of a smile on his lips pleased this was going as he had hoped. "I wanted you to feel at home during your stay."

The tea was lowered on its platter to her lap as her head briefly dropped, "This is just the sort of thing his Excellence would take note of," she almost whispered, "There's so much about you that reminds me of him." Une continued looking up at him, that spark in her eyes still burning brightly, though he could see there was a sadness there also.

Dante's eyes dropped at that admission, "I'm sorry," he apologised it was never his intention to try and replace Treize in Une's life. Only his silent wish to try and build this world together with her.

"No it's alright," she said resolutely drawing a calming breath, and offering him a more cheerful expression. "His Excellence gave his life for the cause he believed in, and I've come to accept and respect that choice."

The silence that followed was not long lived; Dante did not want the mood between them to sour, so he changed the subject. "How do matters stand on earth?" it was not a question directed at the economic stability of the planet nor the present state of the peace.

"Zechs has grudgingly come to accept the fact that what's done is done," Une told him once more bring the tea to her lips. "I had to bring to light his actions during the war, and the fact that the people welcomed him back. His actions were public knowledge, whereas the world has no idea what's actually been happening over the last few months. Put into that light he really had no choice but to let the matter drop."

"I'm glad to hear it," smooth grounds were always needed when negotiating, or simply speaking with another party.

"There is however one matter that's still causing friction, with everyone involved."

Une didn't need to say what that matter was for Dante to already immediately know what she was speaking of. "I hadn't expected them to resign themselves to my decision there," Dante sighed leaning back in his chair.

"I still believe we have a right to question him, he must account for his actions. If nothing else consider Relena, doesn't she had a right to know the reasons behind his actions?" Une was perched upon the edge of her seat; beautiful eyes alight with tightly held emotions.

"My answer from before still stands," Dante told her coming to his feet, "And even if I had changed my mind to help you, I no longer know where Yuy is."

"What?"

Dante looked back over his shoulder, considering what he had said already. Considering how many years Heero had been with them and Une had never been able to find him, he couldn't see the harm in just telling her what little he knew. Perhaps it would help ease the last remaining tensions that stood between him and the earth. "About four months ago, he went missing," it was that simple really, Ash believed he had been taken, and considering his bank account hadn't been touched in all this time, Dante found himself beginning to believe his friend's take on the situation. 

"I see…" Une's eyes watched the slowly swirling tea in her cup, but Dante knew her mind was working hard, searching for new avenues that might have been opened by that admission. He hoped there were none that he hadn't seen.

"Is it true what I hear?" once again changing the subject Dante seated himself once more draining his own glass. "That Relena is still seeing that doctor?"

"Who, Luc?" Une questioned back sounding a little distracted, "No I don't believe so."

"Pity," it was the response Dante felt sure was required though he felt anything but. Knowing how Heero really felt, he could not help but find himself hoping things would turn out for him in the end though he couldn't see how that was possible now.

"It sounds to me as though you don't really mean that," Une comment placing her tea off to one side while turning to face him more fully.

"I guess I don't," Dante didn't mind admitting, "I didn't like the impressions the pictures of them together gave. It almost felt like he was searching out every opportunity to flaunt his relationship."

"Yes it does appear that way doesn't it, well some good did come out of this. Relena finally appears ready to move on with her life." Her eyes almost appeared mischievous as she studied his face head tilted slightly to one side. "I seriously doubt that something we'd have to worry about with you, the spot light grab that is," she clarified at the end.

Dante found himself chuckling at that, "Don't you think me a little old for her?" he knew very well that wasn't what Une was referring too. "Besides don't you think it's enough for now that she's forgiven me?"

Une's laughter was music to Dante's ears, there was such a relaxed and free sound to it, this was a side of herself she did not let many see. "Yes perhaps that's enough for now," she offered him a genuine smile, "We could always tackle the rest at a later date."

"To be truly honest I hope to be spoken for at this later date," Dante put in his voice slightly suggestive as he watched her for any reaction. He felt as though they had been dancing around something more than friends for some time, and he was fairly sure the attraction that he was feeling was not one sided. He wanted very much to know where they stood, and this private moment seemed to perfect time. 

"Am I to take it you have your eyes on another?" she asked back playing truly innocent, though there was a note deep in her voice that gave Dante hope.

He leaned towards her slowly closing the distance, while watching for any sign that this was not something she wanted from him, "Call it a delicate conquest."

"I thought you were a man of peace," she breathed, the scent of her tea brushing across his face.

"Not all conquest requires guns and mobile suits," he gave her a smile before his lips actually dropped down onto her own slightly parted in anticipation. The kiss was dedicate and sweet as both took the moment to truly feel the other close to them, in the end it was Une who drew away first.

"Dante," she whispered his name, eyes no longer meeting his, "This could be seen as a conflict of interest," by the tone in her voice Dante felt sure this was something she also truly wanted.

He brought a hand up to gently cup her cheek, "Why not a cementing of relations?" he asked just as softly as he leaned in to kiss her again.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Zechs leaned back in his leather chair; it had been designed to give the utmost comfort to any who had to sit for any length of time. However, Zechs found that the longer he remained sitting the more he needed to stand, not necessarily to stretch out cramping muscles, but to be on the move, to physically be doing something besides reading and signing papers. There were days when he truly regretted accepting the position of King, and it was on these days that remaining in this chair became a true challenge. Noin helped him a great deal through all these turbulent times, being as always a stabilising force for him. But she was not present in the room at the moment, and Zechs found himself standing and moving away from the work that had been laid out before him.

Pulling a hand down his face, Zechs turned his ice blue eyes over to the window, watching the rain that came pouring down, yet another spring shower, bathing the world with new life. It had been raining off and on most of the day, keeping most people inside. But that wasn't a problem for Zechs as there was much he could do indoors that would alleviate this need he felt. He rubbed his hands together as his sight flickered over to the two fencing foils he had adorning one wall of his private office, and he walked over to them. Reaching up Zechs withdrew one blade and held it in an expert hand studying the finely carved cross guard, before tossed it to the other hand allowing it to cut the air around him sharply. 

A sudden computerised beeping broke through Zechs' thoughts and he looked up, without thought swiftly placing the foil back in its holdings. With curiosity building within him, Zechs walked back over to his desk, and dropped back into his previously vacated chair and struck a key causing the screen to brighten. With little effort Zechs made his way to the new email he had just received, for several moments Zechs found himself just blinking at the screen in disbelief. The email he found was encrypted, and from a source he didn't recognise, and yet it had made it to him, and the encryption was one he seemed to know. 

During the war he had used a similar code when sending private messages to Treize, it was one that was difficult to decipher, and very easy to misinterpret it. But it was nothing Zechs couldn't work out with a little time. Suddenly his chair didn't seem quite so uncomfortable as he set to work cracking the code. He was no longer aware as to how much time had passed during his labours, his mind was entirely focused upon the complex encryption, so he would not lose his way. Finally after a few failed attempts Zechs found himself reading over the message, and finding himself unable to believe what he was seeing.

Rage rose up from the pit of his being, a feeling he had become more than familiar with throughout the course of his rather young life, but one that over the last three years had played a rather permanent roll in his day to day life. Long held memories flashed before his eyes increasing the fire of his anger as it raced through him. He seethed with hatred as he came to his feet eyes of ice never leaving the computer screen. Zechs had never been the type of older brother who would deny his younger sister the right of choosing who she wanted to be with, he had not been around her enough to have that right. But that did not mean he would let those who hurt her leave without some form of repercussion. 

Yet she had not just been caused pain with this one, she had nearly been killed. There was no retribution more fitting than an equal fate, though Zechs had no intentions of missing. Finally he'd be able to end the three long years of tightly held anger, there would finally be a conclusion to this betrayal. This moment was only slightly destroyed by the request in the email, yet wanting to die or not Zechs was going to end this now. He just needed to find a way to get away from the people around him, long enough to finish this mission.

Moving back to the window Zechs' mind began to race as he formed a plan one that would allow him to leave the next day. It would be tricky, and he was taking a great deal of risk, but he felt fairly secure that he'd be able to make this work. Behind him the email remained upon the computer screen, short and too the point. 

Zechs

I'm being used. They're going to get Zero. It won't be destroyed this time.

The attachment has the schematics you'll need. 

End this now.

01

Thanks for Reading! 

****

The Return…

Keeping his back pressed firmly to the wall Zechs slipped from the palace unnoticed. He couldn't begin to imagine the uproar—subdued as it would have to be—once they realised he was gone. It had become abundantly clear to him over the years that his security service truly believed he needed them to keep himself alive. And it was for just such an occasion as this that he had allowed them to live with this preconceived notion. Their defences of him left much to be desired, perhaps a regular assassin wouldn't be able to make it through, but at the same time they had no hope in hell of keeping him in.

A devilish smile crossed his lips as he climbed into a nondescript car, quickly pulled the previously lifted keys from his pocket, and was quickly driving away. Noin was the only one who knew he had left, despite his need for secrecy Zechs simply could leave without letting her know at least something. He hadn't been all that clear on where it was that he had need to be, but then she had not pressed, she trusted his judgement. If this was important enough for him to be going himself than she could easily respect that. She more than anyone knew what he was capable of. 

The city about him still slept soundly as the morning sun slowly rose to bath the world, the air was cool but he could feel that it would not be long now before the warmth of spring held a steadfast grip. He had never really been one to care overly much about the weather or season; there was always something more important to be considering, and this morning was no different for him. His emotions were incredibly mixed, anger, rage, and a strange form of anticipation washed over him in waves, and with them memories that only strengthened the first two emotions. This was a moment he could hardly believe was finally upon him, so long had he waited to bring justice to this traitor.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	21. The Return

****

Mistaken Words

AN: I'm back! So sorry about the long wait for more chapters but I have two for you all right now, and more on the way! I want to thank all of you for being so patient with me and I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

I'd also like to apologise in advance for some of the things that are going to happen in the next few chapters. To you especially Tiger Shinigami, the pilots are going to react to Heero's return in some less than favourable ways, I just hope you can bear with it, and understand that they are truly angry at him. And remember it is all going to come together, much sooner than I had anticipated :)

Thanks to neekabe for editing these chapters for me!

Morrighan of Crimson and Sable: Dante and Une sort of surprised me too J but I think they will make a rather cute couple. I hope the wait wasn't too long….what am I saying? ;) it was like two months…sorry

Tiger Shinigami: But Dante is a peaceful man, he doesn't want a war Are you really sure you want Duo in the story? he'll be in the next chapter…but you might not be too happy with the way he's thinking of Heero right now. I hope you'll stick with me through this part. As a character I love Duo, he can be one of the most fun to write. I just hope you'll be able to understand his anger, I'll try not to make you deal with him like that for too long. To be honest you're the one I was thinking about the most while writing these next few chapters. I really hope you can forgive me.

Raizard333: Yes my friend and I discussed that as well, at first we tried to think of vague things Heero could have put in the email that only he and Zechs would have known. But nothing was coming to mind that didn't come off as sounding really stupid. It was then that I realised the email is not only encoded, but also slipping through some pretty tough security, the fact that it did all that seemed to me to be enough for Zechs to take the email at face value. Thanks for the review!

Rekkanboziegirl: Thank you so much! I hope you continue to enjoy the story, and I'm sorry it took so long!

Erinamation-limited2-nothing: that seems to describe a lot of this story! thanks for the review.

Twilight Dusk: wow you really do hate him I had sort of hoped that I might be able to get at least one reader to sort of tolerate Luc…but I was walking the fine line between making him likeable, and making people suspicious, and I seemed to have gone a little to far to the suspicious side oh well what can you do? Thanks for the review please continue to enjoy!

RikoRishodeathangeloflight: has anyone every told you that's a really long name? you'd be right in thinking Zechs isn't going to do nice things, but I'll not spoil it all for you here and now Thanks so much for the review!

merlyn1382: Kill no….but what about harm? thanks for the review!

Shadowreader: Thank you! We're not to far now from everything coming out in the opened. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed you'll all stay with me that long things are going to get a little nasty soon. I hope you continue to enjoy!

Kalorna Enera: Thank you so much! and I'm sorry you had to wait so long for more, I hope these two chapters can make up for it

Misato: have you read all of it, and are only reviewing chapter one so you have more time to harass me as neekabe suggested? thanks for the review, and I now bring you more!

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing!

****

The Return…

Keeping his back pressed firmly to the wall Zechs slipped from the palace unnoticed. He couldn't begin to imagine the uproar—subdued as it would have to be—once they realised he was gone. It had become abundantly clear to him over the years that his security service truly believed he needed them to keep himself alive. And it was for just such an occasion as this that he had allowed them to live with this preconceived notion. Their defences of him left much to be desired, perhaps a regular assassin wouldn't be able to make it through, but at the same time they had no hope in hell of keeping him in.

A devilish smile crossed his lips as he climbed into a nondescript car, quickly pulled the previously lifted keys from his pocket, and drove away. Noin was the only one who knew he had left, despite his need for secrecy Zechs simply could leave without letting her know at least something. He hadn't been all that clear on where it was that he had need to be, but then again she had not pressed. She trusted his judgement. If this was important enough for him to be going himself than she could easily respect that. She, more than anyone, knew what he was capable of.

The city about him still slept soundly as the morning sun slowly rose to bath the world. The air was cool, but he could feel that it would not be long now before the warmth of spring held a steadfast grip. He had never really been one to care overly much about the weather or season. There was always something more important to be considering, and this morning was no different for him. His emotions were incredibly mixed, anger, rage, and a strange form of anticipation washed over him in waves, and with them came memories that only strengthened the first two emotions. This was a moment he could hardly believe was finally upon him, so long had he waited to bring justice to this traitor.

Making a conscious effort to loosen his grip on the steering wheel Zechs pulled into the small spaceport, ice blue eyes already locked upon the shuttle he had chosen for his twelve-hour trip. On such short notice this shuttle was the best he could get a hold of, that could one, make the distance, and two; provide a cover that would not stir up questions. The shuttle was carrying a shipment of metal used to repair a satellite, and if he were truly travelling to repair something like that he would have to refuel at Freedom's Point. That was one of his two problems solved the last was being recognised; it wasn't like he could really just blend into a crowd, not with his hair the way it was and the amount of airtime he had to deal with being the king of the world. But there was nothing to be done for it. The long coat he wore hid his hair rather well, yet he doubted that would be enough, nevertheless he wasn't going to let that deter him.

Pulling open the hatch Zechs ducked his head and climbed into the shuttle, eyes adjusting the sudden dimness. The hatch opened into the main holding compartment of the shuttle revealing large piles of metal all carefully secured. He passed through without a giving it a second glance, making his way to the cockpit. Crossing the threshold Zechs felt the second presence immediately, and he blinked in surprise as he dropped down into the chair. "What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded not even bothering to look over at the other man as he began checking systems.

"I got the email," Wufei replied calmly as though that should have answered everything.

"How?!" Now Zechs did look over to the Chinese man, eyes like daggers of ice.

"A search program I've had running for some time," Wufei began folding his arms over his chest. "The program was designed to search for any signs of Heero, and that email was encoded with an encryption that he's used before."

Silence filled the shuttle for several minutes as Zechs went back to the preparations, he was more than a little irritated that Wufei had gained access to that email, but at the same time he could see the bonuses to it as well. Wufei's face was not nearly so well known as his own, which would be an advantage when the had to dock at Freedom's Point, however if the Chinese man attempted to interfere, he'd quickly out last his welcome . As he worked Zechs could feel the former pilot's eyes watching him, and he knew there was something on Wufei's mind, most likely something he didn't want to be considering right now.

"Zechs you can't kill him," Wufei finally spoke his thoughts.

"Like hell I can't!" Zechs growled back pulling his gun from under his coat to aim it at Wufei, "And if you don't like that, there's nothing keeping you here."

"You know it could be all to easy for me to put an end to this trip," Zechs' eyes narrowed in rage at that threat, but Wufei was quick to continue. "Just hear me out, we all want answers if you kill him now we'll never get them. Don't you think Relena deserves to know why he tried to kill her?"

Zechs' hand clenched on yoke before him as he bent forward remembering all too clearly the day Relena's blood had stained a stage of peace. All the emotions of that first second seem to flood back to him then and he fought to breathe. Vaguely he heard Wufei calling his name, but he didn't want to think about anything other than the fire burning in him. The rage begged him to just surrender and ride its wave, and the more he fought against it the greater the need to just let go became. But he knew the moment he gave in was the moment he lost himself completely, the need to give in might leave but the emotion, the fire of horrific anger would continue to grow, to swallow up whatever reasoning thought he had left.

Drawing in a ragged breath Zechs opened his tightly clenched eyes, locking an icy glare on Wufei's perplexed face. It took him a moment to realise that his hands were aching from the death grip he held on the shuttle's controls, and slowly he released them wondering if they had been damaged. "If you won't do it for Relena," Wufei continued seeming not to care in the least about the anger he had stirred within Zechs, "Do you really want to give Heero what he wants?"

Zechs turned his chair away from the controls; hands clenched in fists as he suddenly came to his feet. "Just get us there," he seethed not deigning to answer the question Wufei had posed to him. With every muscle tensed he strode from the cockpit, "Death is too good for him…" he muttered darkly to himself.

Feeling like he needed to be in an open space Zechs found himself in the cargo hold of the shuttle, and began to pace across the distance. He knew there wasn't too much time before he'd have to strap himself in for the takeoff, but he intended to make full use of the time available. He needed to cool himself down as much as possible. However he had a strong feeling cool was the last thing he'd be on this day. Zechs raked a hand through his long platinum coloured hair as he continued to stride across the rather short distance, only four paces from one side to the other. Wufei did not bother announcing over the intercom when they were ready to finally depart, but then it wouldn't have been necessary for him too, Zechs could sense the shift in the engine as it powered up.

With a sigh Zechs moved to the far side of the cargo hold where the extra seats were located, and quickly strapped himself in as the shuttle lurched into motion. The familiar sounds of take off had an almost calming effect on Zechs' mind, as he felt a portion of the rage melt away. It did not disappear completely but it did fade allowing him a moment to breathe and think normally. Suddenly with an explosion of force the shuttle shot off towards the atmosphere and outer space. Zechs' body was compressed to his seat by the G-forces they were pulling to try and escape the earth magnetic field, and he found himself revealing in its feel. There were some who found this weight to much to bear, but for a true pilot it was a small price to pay in order to be among the stars.

The roar of the shuttle and deep vibration, which consumed his whole body, were not long in lasting, as they quickly broke through the atmosphere and were surrounded by stars. Zechs' entire body suddenly felt completely weightless despite the fact that the shuttle was equipped with low G gravitational field. Unhooking himself from all the harnesses, Zechs once more came to his feet his platinum hair billowing around him slightly, his pacing was pulled to a halt by Wufei's voice crackling over the com-link as he cutting through the silence. "We'll be arriving at Freedom's Point in elven hours and forty-six minutes."

Nodding his head silently Zechs clenched his fist the only outward sign that the wait was more time than he wanted to give. He wanted more than anything to make it to the colony, and find the bloody little traitor who had mocked and eluded them for three long years. Zechs had to admit if only to himself that a part of him did want the answers that Wufei himself had come seeking, but that part of his mind was about the only rational part working right now. And there was no telling how long his rational side would dominant. He doubted it would be nearly so long as Duo's had held out after the assassination attempt. It had surprised them all at just how well he had taken the betrayal of his best friend, but it had been only a matter of time before he finally snapped.

_Zechs' ice blue eyes glanced at the passing doorway, more out of habit than any interest in what might have been inside. But he found himself coming to a stop one hand reaching for the door frame as he studied the man standing within. Duo stood in the very centre of the practice room, empty of all furnishing save a bench resting snugly against one wall, and a few weapons displays on the walls. The former pilot seemed lost in deep thought as his near lavender eyes focused intently upon a random spot in front of him. At almost any other time Zechs would have found himself walking on, not worried about Duo's contemplations, however they had all been worried about the braided man over the last few months, and the room that he was standing in only increased Zechs' concern._

On silent feet Zechs stepped fully into the medium sized room, nothing in Duo's stance shifted but already Zechs was positive his presence was known. Instead of interrupting Zechs made his way to the bench and simply took a seat waiting for Duo to initiate what conversation they might have. The silence was long lasting, and Zechs found irritation slowly forming within him just sitting in this. So much of it reminded him of Yuy, and that was the last thing he wanted to be thinking about right now.

Finally he sighed, partially in frustration, and broke the silence, "Have you picked a new date yet?" he questioned leaning forward so his elbows were propped on his knees as his sharp eyes watched Duo's back.

For several moments Duo neither spoke nor even turned around, but something in the set of his shoulders did change, and it did not bode well. "Hilde wanted Relena to be well enough before we did so she could still be the maid of honour" he responded softly, turning his head just enough to regard Zechs with one eye.

"She's been well for near two months now," it amazed Zechs that his voice sounded so normal when discussing this subject, but he could feel the flames of rage being fanned to life in his core, and he welcomed their heat.

"I know…" Duo responded after several moments silence, his voice carrying a strange hitch within it. "It's just," he turned to fully face Zechs appearing to struggle with the words he needed to express himself. "Damnit!" Duo flared suddenly both fists clenching until his knuckles were white and his arms shook, "You think you know someone!!"

His eyes scanned the room, and Zechs could clearly see in his lavender orbs all the memories that were held there. Memories of a man he had called friend, and had trusted with more than just his life. The news of his betrayal had hit Duo perhaps the hardest. But the rage he was showing now, that fire of unreasoning hatred, was matched by Zechs' simply because Relena was his little sister. And even if he hadn't felt as close to Yuy as Duo did he had approved of the match, and been more than pleased that his little sister was happy with her life.

Zechs felt the hum of the roar begin to build as his rage struggled to break through the dams, striving to be once more released within him, to swallow his being into a red madness. He longed to simply give in, to cease these useless struggles and let the emotion consume him. It was clear even in the growing fog, that Duo's feelings were identical, and Zechs quickly found himself on his feet defending himself against Duo's blinding fury. It was akin to being caught in the middle of a storm; no direction brought safety or a clear horizon, only more red madness. But Zechs was ready he had been waiting for this moment, a time when he could simply give in without fearing the consequences.

The once nearly silent room was now filled with the sounds of limbs smacking off one another, as both men fought with everything they had. Attacking full force without concern for the other's well being, they were both so evenly matched neither gaining ground for more than a second before they found themselves pressed again. "How much of it was a lie?!" Duo demanded of Zechs as if he might hold the answers they all hoped to find.

Duo's leg swept out high aiming for Zechs' head, but the former Lightning Count was not caught by surprise. He caught the leg, rendering it useless for another attack, but his opponent had been expecting that, and dropped himself down onto his hands so he could try and leg sweep Zechs with his other leg. The move was effective Zechs knew already, since Duo could easily pull him off balance by yanking on his own leg before he swept Zechs'. Seeing this out come immediately Zechs released Duo's leg and threw himself backwards, springing from his hands to his feet once more already facing the other man. Duo came back to his feet with equal agility; eyes alight with a terrifying fire.

For a moment they stood there eyes boring into one another Duo's breathing heavy, more from emotions than the exertion they had just gone through. "He used me!" the braided man all but shouted, eyes sparking, "How long had he been planning this?! Using us!"

"Wondering at that now, won't do any good," Zechs found himself saying, but it was not spoken with a tone of consolation, as if he were trying to ease Duo out of his anger. Instead it was prodding Duo inciting his rage to new levels. "The question is what do you want to do about it now?"

Duo's fist clenched as he took a stepped towards Zechs, his face set in firm resolution, "He should die for what he's done."

Zechs found himself nodding his head as he continued to pace, he fully agreed with Duo back then and still now. But he had decided long ago that if anyone was to exact such punishment upon the Japanese man, it would be himself and no one else. It was his right.

The door at the back of the cargo hold slid open announcing Wufei's presence but he paid the other man no mind, and continued to pace. With his rage only barely restrained, Zechs found Wufei's onyx eyes to be an annoyance he wanted very much to do without. The Chinese man didn't say anything, he merely walked on silent feet to the seat Zechs had previously vacated and sat down, eyes continuing their silent contemplations. They wore away at Zechs' patience and he found himself becoming more agitated, so much so that he actually found his hand creeping towards his holstered gun.

Finally being able to take it no longer Zechs stopped, spun about, and glared daggers at the other man, "What the hell do you want?!"

"I want your gun," Wufei replied simply, not at all concerned for the anger he was facing.

"That's not going to happen," Zechs told him while shaking his head, he found very quickly that he simply could not remain standing in one place. That in itself seemed to make the waiting unbearable.

Wufei sighed leaning back in his seat, "You can't kill him Zechs, and having that gun is going to make it too tempting."

"This is my right!" Zechs roared ice ablaze with an icy hatred.

"Answers, Zechs! Do those mean nothing to you?"

"Justice means a little more. You seemed to have forgotten that in your rush to defend the man who nearly killed my sister!" he found himself fuming, his one hand actually caressing the gun that he carried.

That seemed to strike a cord in Wufei, as his eyes narrowed and he came to his feet, "Don't presumed to speak to me about justice! What justice is there in killing an unarmed man?"

"What justice was there in shooting my pacifist sister?!" Zechs was quick to shoot back.

"We can't sink to his level."

"Why do you always defend him?" This had been something that was bothering him for some time, something in Wufei's meeting with Heero had changed his option on the matter. Suddenly he was less desperate to see Yuy's death, to see this matter brought to the end everyone else wanted.

Wufei stepped forward face set sternly, "Do not misunderstand me Zechs, bringing him to justice is just as important to me as you, but I want to know why he did. Who he did it for, so that we can stop this from happening again."

"Who he did it for?" Zechs scoffed, "What if it was no one? What if he simply decided for himself one day that Relena had no right to live?!" he had his gun out now, his hand visibly shaking as he held it out beside him.

"His email seemed to suggest that there was an organisation involved, we need more information, and right now Heero's the only one who has it."

"What did he say to you then?" Zechs demanded with sudden venom, "What lies did he spew."

"Nothing!" Wufei fumed back his face hard and unreadable. With great purpose and determination, the Chinese man stepped forward without a single glance to the weapon Zechs still held at his side. "Look, just use this," from out of his waistband Wufei withdrew another gun, and from his pocket a loaded cartridge. "I'll get my answers, and you _will_ get your revenge," he held the weapon out eyes never leaving Zechs' face.

Silence fell over the cargo hold as Zechs studied the proffered weapon, the fire of his rage still consuming him as it took on new forms directing themselves at the Chinese man. If only he hadn't appeared, matters would have been far simpler, as it stood could he really complete his plan as he had originally wanted? _Shit!_ he thought darkly, all he had wanted was to walk in there letting his anger guide him, and end this chapter of their lives by ending Yuy's. Finally with a bitter growl Zechs grabbed the dart gun, and clip leaving his own in Wufei's hand. He knew if he carried the gun with him there was no assurance Yuy would walk out of their alive.

Wufei nodded his head in satisfaction, before turning to leave, "We'll be there in a little over nine hours."

Nodding mutely in response Zechs began pacing again, his hands running over the weapon, as he mentally prepared himself for what was too come. But it would not arrive soon enough.

::::::::::

Wufei's onyx eyes scanned the outer wall of the colony as they made their slow approach, his hands rested lightly upon the controls keeping the shuttles course steady with their destination. The ride over had been long and more than a little tense, despite the fact that Zechs had not even entered the cockpit since leaving more than eleven hours ago. The communications buzzer sounded and blinked at him sharply, drawing his attention back to the task at hand. Pressing a switch he opened the lines of communication, waiting for the colony to speak first.

"This is Freedom Point, please state your purpose," a male voice spoke through the silence.

"Refuelling," Wufei told him simply, but decided after a brief second that there could be no harm in elaborating a little, "We're on rout to the L-5 sector, satellite repairs."

There was a few brief moments of communication silence before the response came, "Understood, you're free to dock, prepare to be guided in."

Wufei held his tongue on the last part, this was by far not the first time he had piloted a shuttle, he certainly didn't need to be guided in. But it was standard procedure, and he did not want to draw attention to himself. The hatch to the shuttle port slowly opened before him, and Wufei turned his attention away from his approach to double check the schematics he had found attached to Heero's email to make sure they were heading to the port they wanted. Briefly glancing back over his shoulder Wufei wondered whether or not Zechs was going to make an appearance, considering the way their last conversation went, he doubted it greatly.

It did not take Wufei and the technicians long to dock the shuttle properly, and when it had been completed he remained where he was, knowing there was more to come. A crackle of the communications system announced the technician's presence. "The refuelling will take about an hour to complete, we have a lounge you can relax in for that time if you like."

"No that's alright, there're a few things I need to take care of here," Wufei told the man while getting up from his seat. He hoped an hour would be enough for Zechs. Making his way to the back of the room Wufei pressed a button causing the door to slide away and reveal the cargo hold Zechs had spent his ride up in.

"Zechs?" he called softly, but he received no answer, _He's already gone…_ Wufei thought, this caused a moment of frustration, he had wanted to go with Zechs if only to make sure he didn't strangle Heero with his bare hands.

:::::::::::

Re-cocking the dart gun Wufei had given him Zechs pressed his back firmly to the wall, and prepared to move deeper into the small base. He had been rather surprised at the low security and what few guards he came upon, but then he supposed the fact that no one knew this place existed gave them an edge beyond mean locked doors and sensors. The door he had been watching opened and Zechs waited, holding his breath, to see how many would come through. It was only one man his uniform nondescript; looking more like something a mechanic would wear than anything military. He passed Zechs' position without a second glance, and was totally unprepared when the dart struck him in the shoulder.

Dashing forward Zechs reached out to catch the man while placing a foot in the doorway to halt the automatic closure. It was a risk, but he only had an hour to get in and out. Slowly lowering the man to the floor Zechs quickly searched through his pockets for anything of use, and came across a key card. Smiling to himself Zechs slipped through the door, and quickly sought cover deeper in the open room. It took the former pilot a moment to truly take in his surroundings, the room was massive it's set up looking very familiar to his eyes. It had obviously been designed to store a mobile suit, it even had the multi-levelled catwalks for construction and repairs _This is where they built Zero_ Zechs though silently, wondering at how none of them could have know the colony had such capabilities.

No Gundam stood within the room now, only row upon row of huge crates, Zechs had a sinking suspicion he knew what was in those boxes, Yuy's email had warned that Zero was going to be built again. It would seem that whoever was behind this had taken extra precautions in the building, and had had pieces shipped in after construction, so they could all be assembled. There wasn't much that he could do about it now, he was not prepared to destroy this place, and there was no telling what sort of damage that would do to the colony even if he did have the explosives necessary. All he could do for now was get Heero out, and hope that slowed them down for a while.

Weaving his way through the crates Zechs found one other man among them, and he too quickly succumbed to the sleeping dart. Within seconds Zechs was on the other side of the room at yet another door, he reached into his pocket and withdrew the key card sliding it through the reader, and waited for the small light to flash green. Checking his gun Zechs hoped he wouldn't be coming across too many others, as he was slowly running out of darts.

Stepping over the threshold Zechs fired a dart into the leg of a man who had unknowingly appeared from one of the rooms. He made to catch the falling man but the distance was too great, and a resounding thud echoed down the hall. Zechs winced at the sound but there was no help for it, the noise brought men out of their rooms quickly and Zechs dropped them all, grateful that their confidence in their security left them ill prepared for such an attack. Zechs waited several moments before moving forward wanting to make sure that everyone had been taken out.

When he was satisfied the former Lightning Count kept his back to the wall as he followed the slow curve in the hall. It all led to one door at the very end, that was his destination, the one he sought rested unaware behind the thick metal. Zechs found it odd to be standing here finally, just a few yards away from the man he had hated for so long, the man he had dreamed of killing numerous times. To be this close and yet still not be able have his revenge, bit deeply into Zechs, but he forced it aside with a will power he was surprised to find. He needed to remain focused, the clock was ticking and he still didn't know how many people waited behind that door.

Once more sliding his key card down the reader, Zechs let the door slide away before him, and stepped through firing. He never really looked at any of his targets, more just got a general feel for where they were in the room before removing them. That was the bonus—he had to admit, if only to himself—of working with a dart gun; aim was not necessary. Just hit them, and they will fall. There had been only four men in the room; a moment of luck on Zechs' part as he now only had one dart left in the gun. Slipping the gun into his coat Zechs took his first good look at the room, but his ice blue eyes only made it as far as Heero's prone form.

The traitor lay upon a table, his emaciated body surrounded by tubes and wires, his only cloths were a dingy pair of pants and a white coat-like shirt, which lay open revealing just how thin he was. It was easy to count each of his ribs as they stood out clearly. His hair was longer and lay limply about his gaunt face. Two IVs were attached to him, but only one seemed to be dripping any liquid, the bag had a bluish tint to it, and it was clear to Zechs' eyes that whatever fluid he was being fed it was doing nothing to hydrate him. None of this had any effect on Zechs, though he noted Yuy's poor condition he didn't care, it couldn't make its way though the waves of hatred.

Zechs glanced down at his watch surprised at how little time he had left, crossing the last little stretch to Heero's side Zechs began tearing away the wires, he needed to be back on the shuttle so they could leave without drawing any attention. A soft groan escaped Heero's lips as though he were waking up, but Zechs paid him no mind and continued his rushed work. Soon he had the traitor unhooked from the machinery and even the restraints they had used to hold him to the bed. There was only a moment of hesitation before Zechs made to lift the smaller man into his arms. The temptation to break his fragile body was just so strong.

Turning to walk away Zechs found a slight resistance, as though something were still attached to the traitors body. Laying him back down Zechs looked him over trying to find what he had missed. When he did finally locate the thin wire it was easy to see why he had over-looked it; most of the electrode, which seemed to be fed into a spot behind his ear, was concealed by his hair. With a steady hand Zechs removed the wire, and once more picked up Yuy's limp form. He made his way back through the base without hesitation, all the while trying his hardest not to think about how close the traitor was to him, and how easy it would be to just end everything now.

Yuy's eyes opened at one point, but it was clear he wasn't seeing anything, his head hung limply as though he couldn't find the strength to hold it up, and Zechs doubted he could, considering the shape he was in. He reached the ladder at the end of the hall, and shifted Yuy's body so he was draped over his shoulder, and quickly began to climb the distance. At the top he hesitated only as long as it took to make sure that no one would see his movements. Once outside he shut the concealing hatch and waited a moment until the coast was clear to make his way back to the shuttle. It was a bit more of a challenge to make it back on board the shuttle without drawing attention but it was not the most difficult thing Zechs had ever tried to do.

Zechs lowered his burden to the floor of the shuttle as the seal about the door closed tight and the lower gravity once more took hold. This seemed to help Yuy somewhat as he actually remained sitting there where Zechs had left him, his head lolling from one side to the other. There was no sign of Wufei in the cargo hold, and Zechs assumed he was in the cockpit making preparations for their departure. This pleased Zechs, as it had the potential to allow him a significant amount of time alone with the Traitor. Zechs found himself staring at Yuy, and couldn't help but think 'Oh how the mighty have fallen.' Every breath that Yuy took stabbed at Zechs as an abomination to this world, and he found himself speaking venting his frustrations on the seemingly unaware man. Somehow he managed to hold himself in check, keeping his abuse to simply the verbal, but the leash which held his rage was tentative at best.

::::::::::

Heero was lost, his mind floating on the edge of the black abyss, and somewhere he could not recognise. His stomach flipped within him, but he knew there was nothing for him to throw up. He tired his best to suppress the nausea and gain some perspective of what was happening to him but it was an up hill battle. The pounding of his head was almost the only thing he could think of; it beat in time with his racing heart, and he just wanted to fall into the blackness of the beyond and forget all that had and would happen. But something was keeping him from just giving in. There was something about this situation that stood out to his confused and pained mind, something that made him hold on.

There was a person there…his senses were clouded but he was still fairly sure there was someone around him. How he got out of VR didn't matter, he was free from its grasp, and he needed to know what was happening. Vaguely he remembered an email, but Heero had no recollection of what had been written and to whom it had been sent. With a monumental effort that nearly sent his mind plummeting Heero managed to raise his head enough that he could strain his eyes to their limits and see who stood over him. It seemed to Heero that his eyes were actually seeing two sights layered over one another, and this did nothing to lessen the headache pounding behind his eyes nor the nausea biting deeply within him.

Slowly the one image came into focus, and Heero could see Zechs standing over him. He could not make out any great detail, but he recognised the man he had fought against so many times in the past. From the bottomless fog a memory surfaced, the contents of the email contained within it, and questions arose; why was he not dead? Did they know? Had his impossible dream been fulfilled? Heero couldn't stop himself, couldn't consider anything outside of that extreme hope, and a tired smile spread across his face.

::::::::::

Zechs halted dead in the middle of his rant, his last words echoing off the metal walls, "Did you enjoy the suffering you caused?!" Yuy's head had come up, and his eyes seemed to try and consider him, as a smile appeared upon his face. That was it. Something within Zechs snapped, the floodgate crumbled, and he was drowning. All he could hear was the roar of his anger, and his eyes could only see red, he fought to breathe in the sea of growing hatred. It focused itself solely upon Yuy's unsuspecting form, and Zechs found himself watching as though from the outside, as his clenched fist connected with Yuy's jaw, sending the younger man flying in the low gravity.

His frail body slammed into one of the piles of metal, and a cry of pain escaped his lips. He struggled as though trying to get up, but couldn't move, Yuy watched Zechs with one unfocused eye, as blood began to leak from his forehead, and cheek. Zechs was on him in a second grabbing him by both shoulders, and hauling him away from the metal. The small portion of his mind that was still conscious noted that Yuy's upper arm had been impaled on a thin spike of metal, but that realisation could not stop Zechs' rage, fuled by his utter hatred for the man who deserved this retribution so much.

He literally threw Yuy across the room into yet another pile of bound metal, he heard no sound from him as he struck and slipped to the floor, but there was more blood. It seemed to pour from every where, nearly coating Yuy completely, the sight of it seemed to enrage Zechs' anger even more. Internally he was aware that he had started shouting at Yuy, though what he said was lost to him, as he punctuated each accusation with a hard kick to the traitor's side.

Zechs felt hands grab his shoulders pulling him away from Yuy's form, and a fist connect with his jaw. "Enough!" he heard someone yell, and he blinked away the red to finally see with clear eyes. Wufei stood before him a horrified look on his face over what he had stumbled upon. Zechs glanced back behind him at Yuy's blood covered form, and felt no remorse for his actions, only the sparking of further anger.

Wufei, still holding his arms, shoved Zechs towards the door, "Pilot the shuttle, I want us back on earth as soon as possible!"

The spark flamed to life, at the Chinese man's orders, but that tiny rational part of his mind managed to regain control. "It took us twelve hours to get here…"

"That was when we didn't want to be noticed, make it in six of less," Wufei turned his back to Zechs, and the former Lightning Count left the room behind him noting absently the blood that coated one hand, and the tip of a boot. Payment of Yuy's crimes was not even close to being fulfilled, but they had him now, it was a start.

Thanks for Reading!

****

The Consequences of One's Actions:

Sally pressed upon him how dangerous the patient was, which apparently was supposed to explain why it was necessary to take such measures, and also to keep him strapped down at all times. John had felt in those moments, that he might have stepped into something that was best avoided, but there was nothing to be done about it now. He was here, and it was time to see what all the fuss was truly about. Pressing the lock combination John watched as the door slid away before him, offering him his first look at this dangerous patient. What he found left him stunned beyond words.

It was a boy. A boy who could not possibly have been older than twelve... he was just a child. How had he ever got himself into such a situation? The lights in the room were dim, but John could still easily see that his clothes were blood soaked. Thick bandages covered him at more than one point, but they looked to his practised eyes to be little more than field dressings. As he understood it Heero had been present on the base since very early on the 29th so why on the 30th had none of his injuries been properly taken care of? Stepping deeper into the room John came closer to the boy, realising that his initial assumption about his age had in fact been wrong. The boy was quite a bit older than that, but his small form had tricked the old doctor's eyes, though knowing this did not help him to put an actual age on the Japanese boy.

Looking closer at the boy's face, it was hard to make much out, what with all the blood, but he felt as though he should recognise him. The answer struck him like a tidal wave, and he blinked looking the boy over again. Could this really be the famous Heero Yuy? Was this young boy the assassin who had tired to destroy the peace? There was no mistaking it now, John knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was indeed Relena's former guard; the one who tried to end her life. However realising this did nothing to diminish his disgust at the treatment Heero had received thus far. John had worked with Sally for years, taught her a great deal about what she now knew. He had taught her better than this; she should have never left a patient in this condition. Hatred was not reason enough for neglect.

Morganeth Taren'drel

****


	22. The Consequesnces of One's Actions

****

Mistaken Words

AN: As promised the next chapter, please enjoy and remember we're steadily making it to the chapter everyone wants to read! Where Heero is finally redeemed!

****

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing

****

The Consequences of One's Actions

Wufei ran a hand over his smoothed back hair, and breathed a sigh of relief as Zechs left the room. The feeling was not to last long, however, as he looked down and truly saw Heero for the first time. The amount of blood he was seeing seemed almost incomprehensible. The former pilot was nearly unrecognisable to him;his form having wasted away to almost nothing, and his features coated thickly in blood. Wufei moved into action instantly quickly crossing to the back of the cargo hold to get the first aid kit he had stored there earlier. It was a standard issue military kit, but had been tweaked by Sally while keeping them in mind; it could basically handle most any dire situatios.

Trying to keep a calm and cool head about this was difficult especially as he knelt by Heero's side, and could really begin to see the damage that had been done, and not just a bloody mess seen from afar. The former pilot seemed to have lost consciousness at some point, and Wufei quickly pressed a finger to his neck to make sure he hadn't passed further than that. His first goal was to stop the bleeding; a monumental task on it's own, and above all he had to remain calm and focused. If he let himself become overwhelmed there was no hope for Heero.

With steady hands Wufei began tying tourniquets about Heero's left arm, and thigh, the puncture wound looked vicious, and it amazed the Chinese man that the metal had found anything flesh to push through considering how thin Heero was. He completed the dressings as best he could with pressure bandages, praying that they would stanch the flow. At first glance those appeared to be the worst of Heero's bleeding injuries, but as he straightened the smaller Japanese man so he could better look him over, Wufei found more. A deep gash across Heero's pelvis oozed blood freely, and would be harder to contain blood flow. Rummaging through the first aid kit Wufei pulled out a wad of gauze and pressed it to the wound, that drew a soft moan from Heero's lips. To Wufei that sound was reassuring it let him know the former pilot still lived.

Feeling that for the moment at least the blood loss was contained Wufei took a moment to hook Heero up to an IV, easily being able to see how dehydrated the unconscious man was. As he shifted Heero's left arm to insert the needle—feeling the Japanese man was not likely to move the arm and pull the IV out—Wufei's deft fingers came in contact with a slight shift in the bones just below the elbow. It didn't surprise him that the bone had broke at some point; his onyx eyes flickered to the gash in his thigh fairly sure the bone there too was at least cracked.

"Shit," he breathed removing the blood coated surgical gloves he had donned while treating Heero's wounds. The Japanese man was going to go into shock if he lost too much blood, a desperate idea popped into Wufei's head as he realised what a difficult task he faced. If he lowered the temperature in the cargo hold, he might be able to slow the flow of blood, however there was a greater risk of Heero going into severe shock or even become hypothermic, but it might be the only thing that would save his life. Wufei moved quickly reaching once more into the first aid kit to remove a metallic looking thermal blanket, which he wrapped about Heero's legs hoping to keep at least a little warmth in his body praying that would keep this from turning to the worst.

Once more Wufei pressed two fingers to Heero's neck; this time counting the beats making sure the former pilot was at least stable. Satisfied that for the moment at least, Wufei moved aside the now stained red shirt, for the first time really looking to see the damage Zechs' kicking had done. Horror filled him. He now felt the press of time, and the first fingers of panic gripping him, but he did not let them take hold. Heero's ribs as obvious as they were on his too thin body, made it easy to tell which of them had been broken by Zechs' brutal attack. And there was no mistaking the slight swelling to Heero's abdomen, organs had been punctured, and he was bleeding internally. There was nothing he could do to stop it now, they had to get back and quick.

"Don't you die on me," Wufei said as he sat himself once more beside Heero's form, already he could notice a difference in the temperature, it wasn't great but he hoped it would be enough, "Not until I have my answers."

:::::::::

The fog about his mind seemed to part for the briefest second, and a wave of dizzying pain struck. Heero groaned, his face contorting with the agony his entire body felt, and once again the nausea swept in stealing the breath from his broken body. He felt cold but could not shiver, his eyes refused to open, and all there was to his world was pain. Every breath seemed to stab deep into his body like a dagger, and he tired his best to stop the pain, but that merely left him gasping. His confused mind could not make sense of what had happened to leave him in this condition. In his mind Heero saw a jumble of images each more confusing that the last. There was no way for him to determine which was actually reality.

Through it all Heero sensed a presence near to him, and with nothing he could do, panic began to set in. He simply couldn't focus enough to determine if it was friend or foe who stood over him, not that there was anything he could do if it was an enemy, which did nothing to lessen his fears. Never before had he been left so vulnerable, and he was not at all prepared to deal with it. However his fears were not long in lasting as Heero's strength waned, and he found himself slipping back into the blackness.

:::::::::

With a great deal of effort Zechs released the yoke with one hand and punched in a few switches on the control panel opening a line of communication with the base. "This is Zechs, put me through to Une on a secured line," he spoke with clipped tones his anger from past hours still smouldering threateningly.

"Yes Sir!" the technician responded crisply.

There was only a moment of radio silence before Une's voice broke through, "Zechs, just where the hell have you been?!" She wasted no time in venting her displeasure.

"Finishing something we should have had done three years ago," he bit back letting more of his frustration show that he had really wanted.

"Are you telling me you killed him?" Une's voice was incredulous.

Zechs growled, "Wufei stopped me," he glanced back at the door leading to the cargo hold, "We're bring him back, he's wounded, have Sally be ready to treat him."

"I wouldn't have thought you'd care."

"Believe me I don't. But if he dies and I'm not the one pulling the trigger…" he trailed off for a moment, "There will be no words to describe my anger."

"I understand," she responded voice unreadable, "How bad is he?"

Deep in Zechs' core he was shocked at the damage he had caused without being able to stop himself. The sheer force of his anger was something he now had a true and healthy respect for. "It's bad, blood loss, broken ribs, potential internal bleeding…" it was more of a guess than anything assured, but Zechs doubted his was far off the mark.

"Alright we'll be ready for it."

"One more thing, secure an entrance, I don't want anyone to know we have him yet, and make sure Relena doesn't find out about this," the last thing he wanted was his little sister seeing the bastard.

"About how far off are you?" she inquired obviously needing to know when to be ready.

"We should be at the base in under an hour."

"Alright everything will be ready for you when you get here," she said by way of ending communications.

Zechs glanced over all the gauges, making sure nothing was abnormal before he once more focused upon his flight path; they were about five minutes away from landing. Considering Wufei hadn't made an appearance, Zechs assumed the traitor was still alive. _He had better be!_ Zechs thought bitterly to himself.

:::::::::

Duo glanced about Une's office and all those present there, there was a strange tension in the way Une was standing behind her desk, and he knew he wasn't the only one to notice it. Whatever she had gathered them there for at one in the morning it was important, and highly classified. The absence of Wufei and Zechs caused questions to form in Duo's mind, and he could see the same ones in Trowa's eyes where he leaned against a wall. Sally sat reclined in one of the leather chairs; all they were waiting for was Quatre to have a moment to speak to them on the secured line. When the blond pilot finally sat down in front of the video feed, Une wasted no time in beginning.

"Zechs and Wufei have captured Heero Yuy." The statement hit Duo like a punch to the gut, and emotions and memories he had thought had been successfully repressed now came rushing back to the surface.

"What?!" the word slipped from his mouth despite the fact that he had heard perfectly, and understood.

"It would appear Zechs left early this morning on rout to Freedom's Point to bring Yuy back. After speaking with Noin, it seems as though Zechs received and email from Yuy indicating that Zero was being built yet again, it also gave his location." Une looked to each of them in turn, "How Wufei discovered the email is not yet known to me."

A part of Duo felt hurt and betrayed that he had not been asked to be a part of that mission, he as much as anyone had the right to bring that bastard back. He clenched a fist, as he tried to suppress a wave of anger, "Are we to take it that he's not dead?" Trowa voiced softly, but there was a steely current beneath his words, which told Duo just how pissed he was.

"No he's not," Une turned her attention to Sally, "He is however severely wounded; blood loss, and internal bleeding as I understand it." She placed both hands firmly on her desk, "We'll need an entrance secured, and a room, I don't want anyone finding out we have him. At least not right away."

Duo's hopes were kindled at her words, if they kept Yuy's capture from public knowledge, they might just be able to avoid the inconvenience of a trial and just end his life here and now. "How long until they arrive?"

"About a half hour, everything will need to be ready by then," her focus turned to Quatre who had remained in an almost stunned silence. "If possible I'd like you to make a trip here."

"I'll see what I can do, at best it'll be a day or two until I can get there."

"That's fine, we'll keep you abreast of the situation," Une nodded. "Alright we have twenty-five minutes to prepare." She didn't need to say anything else to get them moving, Duo noted the varied expressions on peoples faces as the made their way to the exit. Quatre looked almost sad, but there was a determined glint also, which left Duo wondering what he was actually feeling. Trowa's was an unreadable mask, not at all surprising considering how Trowa usually took information that should have drawn some form of reaction.

Briefly he glanced to Sally, only to see a thunderhead upon her face. She did not seem pleased at all that she would be required to tend to this traitor. Duo was tempted to suggest she don't, and just let him die due to 'complications' but he held his tongue knowing now was not the time for such suggestions. He himself was a force to be reckoned with this day, and as they walked through the halls agents actually back away from him. Sally split away from them, mentioning something about preparing the holding room in the medical wing. And Trowa was quick to follow, obviously planing on securing the area. This left Duo to secure the halls leading to the door they would enter from.

He found it hard to believe that this was it; after three long years they finally had him, and there was no escape now. There was nothing Yuy could do but die quickly and end this dark chapter in all of their lives. As he continued on to his destination Duo wondered at whether or not Relena knew anything about this; considering she hadn't been there for Une's announcement he doubted it. And it was as it should be, after all she had been put through Relena didn't need to be a part of this. There was nothing it could do but upset her further. Duo was not about to let Heero break Relena's spirit yet again.

:::::::::

Wufei glanced out the car window as Zechs quickly pulled the vehicle to a stop, near one of the emergency exist at the back of the base. An angry looking Duo waited by the door, which he held open with a foot, his arms crossed firmly over his chest. But the Chinese man's attention did not remain long upon the braided man; he had more pressing concerns. Heero lay unconscious in his arms, and had been so for the entire tri. His features—what of them you could actually see through the dried blood—were pale; too pale. He was not going to last much longer, not in his condition, but they were almost there.

It was a little awkward shimmying from the back seat of the car with the wounded man in his arms, but somehow he managed it. Probably because he had no other choice, right from the start he had told Zechs no one would carry Heero but himself. After all his effort he wasn't simply going to throw the traitor to the sharks, not until he got what he wanted. Trying his hardest not to jostle Heero too much Wufei made his way quickly to the door Duo was still waiting at. The American's face was contorted into a dark glare of utter hatred as Wufei approach. "The cameras?" Wufei found himself asking, though he knew there was no reason for it.

"Taken care of," was the growl of a response as Duo threw the door open wide, leading the way inside. The halls of the base were as Wufei had expected: completely empty. How Duo managed to clear them was something the former pilot was not even concerned about right now. His only priority was to get Heero to Sally so they could stabilise him.

As they passed the threshold to the medical wing, Trowa fell in behind them, his presence almost ghost like. He might not have said anything as he glared daggers at the man in Wufei's arms, but his emotions at the moment were as clear to feel as the others. They seemed to crackle about the halls waiting for a single spark to ignite them. Nothing was said as they continued on their way. Wufei was not all that sure too which room he was heading, he was about to ask when Trowa moved up beside him, and stopped at a locked door. Pressing the necessary keys the door slid aside revealing to room Heero would be left in.

A waist high table stood lonely in the centre of the room, it's build and set up clearly designed to strap a person to it with their arms spread eagle. A monitoring station was pressed to his far right, and the left side of the room had been given over to storage and equipment. The room seemed to have everything it would need to treat a patient, though it lacked basic human comforts. Sally waited beside the table, and an array of equipment and machinery spread out on carts. "Put him down," she instructed her voice giving away nothing, where her eyes seethed with hatred.

Wufei did as he had been told, slowly lowering Heero to the cold metal table, before he took a small step back. Sally set to work immediately, throwing opened Heero's shirt she took in the damage at a glance seeming not to care in the least. It struck Wufei that she reaction to him could be so utterly different from what it had once been, was there not even the slightest concern for him? He did not know why he thought there should be considering the way the others were acting. They all looked on faces stone cold masks. He supposed it was because she was a doctor, they did not always like those they helped, but they did help; it was a part of their oath.

She reached over to a machine, which to Wufei's eyes seemed to resemble the equipment used when doing an ultrasound. He knew however that this was a High-Intensity Focused Ultrasound same principal as a regular ultrasound, only this could send concentrated waves deep inside the body and actually cauterise a bleeding wound. It had saved many lives as paramedics no longer had to rush victims into surgery, they could stop the internal bleeding on the scene. Switching the machine on Sally pressed the sensor into Heero's swollen abdomen, her eyes remaining on the screen somehow being able to make sense of the shifting shadows, and know where the bleeding was.

They all stood on the opposite side of the bed to Sally, each and every one of them stood arms folded across their chest faces grim displays of their displeasure. Wufei didn't need to ask them what they were thinking to know right away, if Heero were to have stopped breathing right then, he knew not a one of them would feel remorse. That was not a surprise, but what did unnerve Wufei was the feeling he got from Sally, something told him that if that were to happen, she might not try her hardest to bring him back.

It only took her about ten minutes to stop the bleeding, and then she set to work hooking him up with a blood transfusion, along with another IV bag. Once that was completed Sally took up a long needled large syringe, which she then inserted into his abdomen. Pumping the plunger a few time Sally began to withdraw some of the blood Heero had lost. It amazed Wufei the amount of blood she removed from him, emptying the syringe each time in a metal bowl before once more inserting it again, this time in a different spot. How had he lost so much and still lived? It took Sally about fifteen minutes to remove enough blood that she seemed satisfied, she then focused her attention on checking Heero's vitals and hooking him up to the monitoring system across the room.

As she passed to go and check the screens she spoke breaking the near silence, "Strap him down," Zechs and Duo nearly jumped at the chance, each taking a side and quickly securing their enemy to the table.

Wufei was left in a stunned silence, which he quickly shook himself from as he moved to follow Sally, "That can't be all you're going to do for him?!" it was not really a question, more of a statement of fact.

But Sally glanced up from her work with cold eyes, "He's stable that enough."

"Those are just field dressings!" Wufei barked gesturing behind him.

"They'll do," she responded this time not bothering to look up.

Wufei couldn't believe his ears; he took another step forward pressing both hands down on the desk Sally stood behind. "We're better than this Sally, he may be a traitor but he deserves proper care."

"Wufei you know as well as I do that he's been through worse and survived it. He's not as bad off as he looks," It sounded to Wufei's ears to be a justification, almost like she were trying to convince herself that it was true. But then her eyes flashed, "I will not waste my time on him." She stepped out from around the desk, "Wufei, Zechs you too should get some rest, we can decide how to deal with this problem later."

"Why not just end it now?!" Duo voiced from where he stood glaring down at Heero's unconscious form, "Why not give him the fate he deserves."

Wufei shook his head, "Not until we can interrogate him to find out what he knows."

"I don't recall when you were put in charge Chang!" The braided man spat.

"I agree with Wufei…" Trowa's quiet voice cut between them like a sword.

Duo seemed to all but shake with his rage, his near lavender eyes ablaze with the intensity of what he was feeling. But before more could be said, the door opened and another person walked in. Everyone spun about, and more than one gun was drawn from its holster. Luc waited at the door both hands raised slightly, face looking greatly uncertain, "What the hell are you doing here?!" Duo growled.

"Put those away," Sally snapped, "He's here at my request and Une's approval, he'll be watching over Yuy during the day. I have another lined up to watch during the night." She moved to walk past Wufei making her way towards the door, "As I said, I won't waste my time on this traitor."

::::::::

Walking through the near empty halls of the medical wing John glanced at his wrist watch. Seeing that he was running a little late. He could hardly remember the last time he had worked the graveyard shift, but as things stood in his life right now, he welcomed any opportunity to be doing something besides sitting around the house. At the age of sixty-eight, John had retired, but found after only a year that he had become too restless with such a relaxing life, and so had come back to work part time. It had been an odd moment indeed when Sally had called him asking that he look after a certain patient through the night.

Merrian, his wife of near forty years, had been strongly opposed to the idea, feeling that such a shift of routine would be bad for his health. But John had always been a fit and healthy man, and the chance to be doing something useful was simply too much to pass up. He had to admit though, something did not feel right about this situation, he had been called into Sally's office upon arrival. At which point he had been given careful instruction on what he could and could not do with this patient; he was to watch only. If the patient's condition was to take a turn for the worse, he was to only do what was necessary to stabilise him, nothing more.

Sally pressed upon him how dangerous the patient was, which apparently was supposed to explain why it was necessary to take such measures, and also to keep him strapped down at all times. John had felt in those moments, that he might have stepped into something that was best avoided, but there was nothing to be done about it now. He was here, and it was time to see what all the fuss was truly about. Pressing the lock combination John watched as the door slid away before him, offering him his first look at this dangerous patient. What he found left him stunned beyond words.

It was a boy. A boy who could not possibly have been older than twelve... he was just a child. How had he ever got himself into such a situation? The lights in the room were dim, but John could still easily see that his clothes were blood soaked. Thick bandages covered him at more than one point, but they looked to his practised eyes to be little more than field dressings. As he understood it Heero had been present on the base since very early on the 29th so why on the 30th had none of his injuries been properly taken care of? Stepping deeper into the room John came closer to the boy, realising that his initial assumption about his age had in fact been wrong. The boy was quite a bit older than that, but his small form had tricked the old doctor's eyes, though knowing this did not help him to put an actual age on the Japanese boy.

Looking closer at the boy's face, it was hard to make much out, what with all the blood, but he felt as though he should recognise him. The answer struck him like a tidal wave, and he blinked looking the boy over again. Could this really be the famous Heero Yuy? Was this young boy the assassin who had tired to destroy the peace? There was no mistaking it now, John knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was indeed Relena's former guard; the one who tried to end her life. However realising this did nothing to diminish his disgust at the treatment Heero had received thus far. John had worked with Sally for years, taught her a great deal about what she now knew. He had taught her better than this; she should have never left a patient in this condition. Hatred was not reason enough for neglect.

His brown eyes roved over the boy's emaciated body taking in all the injuries that he could see and cataloguing them away. As things stood right now, Heero did seem to be stable, though he still looked dehydrated despite the IV feeding him necessary fluids. John remembered clearly Sally's works, 'Watch him only, don't get to close to him, he's dangerous.' But he could not help but ask himself now, how dangerous could this wounded boy be? Carefully John reached across the boy to untie the shirt he was wearing, and pull it aside so he could see what other injuries there might have been concealed beneath.

John sucked in his breath at the sight having not really comprehended how thin Heero was until he saw the boy's broken ribs, a disturbingly thin layer of flesh stretched over top of them. And that skin was a mass of blackening bruises, but his abdomen also looked painfully sore, and slightly swollen. John's immediate fear was internal bleeding, and he reached out to probe the area gently, what he found made him breathe a sigh of relief. His finger brushed over the tiny pinprick of a syringe used to drain away blood, continuing his search John found more of them, and he relaxed a little knowing the matter had already been taken care of.

His hands were still on the boy's middle when Heero's entire body jerked upon the table. John nearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden and unexpected movement, and as he backed away from the table he found himself looking into the deepest blue eyes. They were unfocused and dilated, but a certain intensity was still there. The old doctor did not miss the tense set of Heero's body nor the pain that seemed to cause. "Shh…it's alright, I'm not going to hurt you," John soothed keeping both hands in plain sight, "You can relax, it's alright."

The boy blinked as though trying to clear his vision without success and stared at John's face, wincing against the dim lights. "I'm Dr John den Besien," he informed the confused boy. The look in Heero's eyes began to worry John, and he wanted very much to confirm a growing suspicion, but at the same time he didn't want make the boy more uneasy than he already was in his present state. He had to gain the boy's trust first, but how? "Can you speak?"

"…wh…ere…where…am…I…" the boy finally asked in a raspy voice, a voice that sounded as though it had not seen use in a great deal of time.

"You're presently in the medical wing of the Sank's Earth Defence Corps Agency," John told him softly, "Do you remember what happened to you?" The boy merely gave his head the slightest of shakes. John's eyes scanned over the boy, and his next question just slipped out, "When was the last time you ate?"

A tremor ran through Heero's thin body, and against his will it seemed he groaned, "Wh…at…month…is it…"

That question totally caught John off guard, what had happened to this boy to leave him in such a sorry state? A thought occurred to him then and he slowly made his way back to the desk which stood closer to the door, all the while he remained in Heero's line of sight, something telling him that that was the best way for now to keep the boy calm. On the desk rested the bag which he had carried his meal in, discarded there without a thought upon seeing his new patient. From inside the bag John withdrew a water bottle and made his way back over to Heero.

"Would you like a little?" he offered pulling the cap up, and holding it out so the boy would actually be able to see what was offered. Heero stared at him suspiciously his breathing sounding more laboured by the minute, as he clearly struggled against the pain he was feeling. John wanted desperately to help him, but he knew first a bond of trust had to be formed. "It's alright, the water's clean," John assured him taking a sip of it for proof. Finally Heero's thirst seemed to out weigh his concerns as he nodded his head.

John moved closer to the boy's head reaching out a hand with the intention of slipping it behind Heero's neck to help aid in the drinking. But Heero's body tensed and a groan escaped him because of it, "It's alright," he found himself assuring again, "I just don't want you to choke." Slowly as the minutes passed Heero's body once more relaxed and John was able to touch him for the first time while he was awake. He felt as though he had accomplished something monumental in those moments, as he gently lifted Heero's head, and brought the water bottle to his cracked lips. He had only wanted to dribble a little of the liquid into Heero's mouth, but the need for water seemed too much and the boy sucked back hard, getting what was probably a full mouthful.

Pulling back quickly John lowered Heero's head, "Easy, you can't take too much yet, not if you haven't drank or eaten anything for months, your body won't be able to handle it." Sure enough Heero's features began to twist in a sickened look, as his stomach began to reject what he had given it. Seeing what was about to happen, John quickly undid the wrist strap that held the boy's right arm, and lifted his body—being ever careful of his broken ribs—while rolling him to his side, just as he began to vomit. The water came quickly but the retching did not seem to want to quit now that it had begun.

He couldn't begin to imagine how that would feel with so many broken ribs, and he breathed a sigh of relief when it finally seemed to cease. John lowered Heero back to the table, the boy's thin frame now coated in sweat while he struggled weakly for breath, his features seeming set permanently in an expression of pain. For a time he let the boy be, watching as the moment passed and Heero seemed to come back to himself a little. It was with great reluctance that John forced himself to re-shackle Heero's wrist to the table, but a camera was watching, and problems might already arise from his unhooking him.

"They haven't given you anything for the pain, have they?" A slight shake of his head was the answer. "I'd give you something for it, but it seems light you might have been drugged, and until I know what it is…" he trailed off feeling the rest was obvious. "If you'd let me check it out, I could ease your pain." It was an open offer, he was not going to press his services on the boy, there was no mistaking what that would cause.

Heero stared at him weakly, seeming to be trying his hardest not to breathe, but after a moment he nodded his head. That response caught John off guard and for a few seconds he didn't move, wondering if he had imagined it. A tiny smile touched his lined face as he leaned over the boy reaching to turn his head a little more in his direction. Once more he saw the tension over come Heero, but this time it faded almost as soon as it appeared. Removing a small penlight from his left breast pocket John switched it on, while thumbing back Heero's eyelid. Running the intense beam of light across his pupil John was not all that surprised to see that nothing changed, there was indeed something in the boy's system that was not supposed to be there.

Putting away the penlight John stepped away from the bed and made to walk over to the left side of the room. He made his rout longer by walking down below Heero's legs, and he kept his movements as slow and non-threatening as possible. Once at the cabinet lined wall John began rummaging around through drawers searching for the syringes, it only took him a minute to locate them and he was making his way back to Heero's right side via the same way he came before. The wounded boy watched in silence his entire body now seeming to have relaxed though there were still twitches of pain he could not suppress. John prepared the syringe quickly and withdrew a sample of Heero's blood before capping the medical tool and quickly putting it on his desk.

"I'm afraid it's still going to be a little while," he apologised gently, he wasn't about to leave the boy alone to go and analyse his blood.

"…'S…okay…" Heero breathed in his raspy voice.

"Would you like to try a little water again?" John asked stepping close to Heero's head. Looking at this boy now, John could not picture the man who had tried to take Relena's life, it didn't matter to the doctor that he had. All that was important now was the fact that this boy was alone, and in pain, and for at least a little while John might be able to do something to ease that.

Thanks for Reading!

****

No Regrets:

Heero's dark thoughts were interrupted by a new presence walking towards him, and the former pilot flinched despite himself, causing skin to pull tightly across ribs, and tentative scabs to strain under the pressure. "So this is the might Heero Yuy," A nasally sounding voice seemed to sneer over top of him, "I didn't think you'd ever wake."

It took Heero several moments to open his eyes, and when he did the sudden brightness around him forced them to close right away. The light stabbed like daggers into his head, and seemed to burn itself into a single spot, where it was left to smoulder. But this pain was nothing to the shrieks of the rest of his body, and he was not going to remain laying there with his eyes closed while some unknown person stood over him. Finally with a monumental effort Heero was able to open both eyes, though he had to squint, and looked upon the man who had entered his space.

A doctor stood to his left, his features hard for Heero to make out, but that wasn't necessary at the moment, just being able to see him was enough. And Heero could see right away there was something about this man that made him uneasy, he didn't trust him, not like John. It amazed Heero how quickly he found himself relaxing around that old man, letting him enter his personal space, to complete whatever task he felt needed to be done. When he thought about it, John made everything a suggestion, something that could be taken or left, leaving Heero in control of the situation. He did not feel nearly so comfortable in the presence of this new man, something felt off, slightly sinister.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	23. No Regrets

Mistaken Words

AN: Ack! I thought I wouldn't be taking this long with chapters...neekabe said I could blame her for this one so blaming I am! but seriously these chapters have been giving me more problems than I expected they would. And you all have been so patient with me I can't thank you enough for that! I can tell you that there will be another double chapter coming up soon, and hopefully I'll be able to get them out on time!

Mikito: Thank you! for the review, and for staying with me! I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint!

RikoRishodeathangeloflight: Thanks for both reviews I can't see how no one's mention your name before it almost gives me a hand cramp trying to type it =P I'm glad you're enjoying the story, the pilots are all being a bit jerky aren't they, but it won't be for too much longer. Thanks again!

Morrigahn of Crimson and Sable: Can they claim temporary insanity? =P Thanks for the review, hope I didn't make you wait to long…I know I keep saying that, but honest I'm really trying, enjoy!

Raizard333: Yep Heero will live to see chapter 30, and beyond that too despite how it looks right now. No worries Heero isn't kidnapped…though you'd probably prefer that to what actually happens. Thanks for the review!

shadowreader: Thank you for reviewing! Sorry about the pilots, they're just a might bit mad right now, but not to fear I'm not about to kill Heero =) Sorry the update took me so long.

rayshine: Thank you so much! I'm terribly sorry about the wait, I was hoping I'd be able to get myself back onto a once weekly schedule. But that just doesn't seem to be happening right now, hopefully in the future though! we can at least keep our fingers crossed. Thanks again!

Ukchana: Thanks for the review, I'm glad you're enjoying the story, but I think there are a couple of things I should tell you =) first I already have two beta readers. (thank you so much for the kind offer!!) You should see what these chapters look like before I send them off =P and second I have a perception problem, and because of that I will never be able to spell really well or understand the finer points of grammar. This problem also keeps me from picturing what I read or write, but I've managed to come this far with it, and I hope what errors you see in the chapters aren't enough to make you stop reading! As for the incident of Heero shooting Relena…I never even considered what you mentioned…I've tried to do a lot of research for this story, so that I won't be making everything unbelievable, but I never even considered that part of the story. As it is there really isn't anything we can do about it now, so let's just say it's Heero Yuy, and that man's been know to do amazing things before =P Thanks again for the review I hope you keep on reading and enjoying!

little princess: Thanks for the review! If you can believe it, in the original writing of that part of the story Wufei wasn't there to hold Zechs back….as I was working through the chapters leading up to that moment I realised that nothing short of putting someone there was going to keep Heero alive. You see when I first started handwriting this story, it started at the point where Zechs went to get Heero, I skipped all the boring intro stuff =P But as I was working along in this good copy I got a better feeling for how angry all of them really were. As for Luc he's been on earth for a while now, he and Relena are no longer together but he's still working for Sally. Thanks so much for reading, enjoy!

Rekkaboziegirl: Thank you so much! Please enjoy this next chapter! and I'm going to try my hardest not to make you wait too much longer for more of the story!

Nonny: I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long! thank you for the review!! It's great having so many readers enjoying the story! We're getting ever closer to the first meeting between Heero and Relena….I think we might be all of three or four chapters away from it. I hope you enjoy the chapters that come between then. I'm going to try my hardest to get more out to you soon! Thanks again!

Tiger Shinigami: WOW Thank you! that's such a relief to hear, I know how much you love Duo, and it won't be too much longer before all is explained and friendships can begin to be rebuilt. Thanks for the review!

merlyn1382: Thanks for reviewing! Oh yes John will heal Heero both physically and emotionally =) I love his character, his such a nice old man! We're almost to the point where Heero is to be freed, I hope you will stick with me! thanks again!

Sakura Blossom-Cilla-85;P: Thank you for all your reviews on my stories! you summed everything up rather well, I don't think there's much I can add =P other than please enjoy this next chapter! Thanks again!

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Gundam Wing….but I do have the DVDs manga, and a wall scroll…doesn't that count for something? no?

****

No Regrets

It was the beginning of a new day, and a new month on top of that, but no one present in Une's office was taking note of the warm near summer weather. They were all stuck in the past, minds reliving the last three years, and just now being able to see an end in sight. It had surprised Wufei that they were only now sitting down to discuss what was to be done about Heero. Une had quite quickly decided to try and wait hoping cooler heads would prevail, also the wait would allow Quatre a change to input his thoughts on the matter directly. He had found reason to make a brief trip to earth without raising question, and had arrived late the night before.

The young President of the colonies looked a little tired from the trip, and time change he had had to adjust. Nevertheless he was alert, and ready to discuss this rather difficult topic. Wufei's onyx eyes scanned the room slowly, taking in each person they came across and considering them for a moment, judging what their mind set was like, what he could expect from them. For the most part he didn't expect any real surprises; both Zechs and Duo were still livid over the matter, Zechs a little more so because Relena now knew what was being kept from her, and had demanded to see him. She had of course been denied, for the moment Wufei thought that was the best decision.

Trowa was, as always, unreadable, but Wufei could see the tension in the way he held himself. Even if Trowa managed to conceal most everything that would appear on a normal persons' face and eyes, Wufei could still read him. Sally and Une made up the last two people present in the room, and to Wufei's surprise silence reigned over the office, as everyone appeared to wait on someone else to voice the idea in their heads. Wufei already knew he would not be starting the conversation. It was no secret as to where he stood on the matter of what to do with Heero.

With a suddenness that caused Sally to jump slightly Duo stood from where he had been perched on the edge of his chair and began to pace, "What are we waiting for?!" he demanded breaking the silence finally, "Why are we even gathering to discuss this? Let's just give the bastard what he deserves and be done with it!"

"There is a problem with public knowledge," Une pointed out with surprising calm, she was not about to let her emotions run away with her during this discussion.

"What problem?! They don't even know he's here," Duo returned.

"Looking back through history, situations like this have a way of slipping out. Sooner or later the world will discover what happens here. I don't want to have to try and explain why someone was murdered within my agency without anyone being held accountable for it."

Wufei silently doubted such a decree from Une would stop more such suggestion. Death was simply the easiest way to deal with Heero. "Well, what's the point of a trial? There's no way they could find him innocent, death's going to be the end either way," Duo fumed.

"Personally I'd like his end to be at my hands," Zechs spoke up his anger barely contained in his voice. He sat in one of Une's leather chairs with an air of frightening calm about him. Wufei could see in his ice blue eyes the anger than had taken up a permanent residence. He had it very much under control, but Wufei had a feeling Zechs would like nothing more than to let it loose once more.

Une shook her head, "That's not an option and you know it."

"Then what the hell's the point of all this? I think we all want to avoid the trial but, according to you, we can't just kill him either!" Duo was fuming as he paced across the office, and Wufei had to resist the urge to tell him to just sit down.

:::::::

Quatre watched in silence as the debate began, it was a situation he had never thought they'd actually make it to. A part of him had always been sure Heero would be able to allude them forever, but finally the pieces had fallen into their favour. Quatre's feelings and thoughts on the matter were mixed at best. Having convinced himself that this would never happen, he hadn't been in the least bit prepared for when it did. But to now be able to face his one time comrade and friend, it stabbed at him like a dagger. His hands moved to clutch at his chest, a futile attempt to take away the pain.

At this moment Quatre hated the closeness he had shared with all the pilots; it had made accepting the betrayal so much harder, and sitting in this situation no easier. He had not yet seen Heero, so he only had what the others had told him to go on, and to his ears it sounded bad. According to Dante, Heero had already found suffering for his inexcusable actions, but was it enough? Could it ever be enough? Dante had said Heero had paid his price, but what could Dante possibly know of he price they had all paid at the former pilot's hands? He had nearly stripped away everything they had all sacrificed so much for. He had almost destroyed the peace; that in itself should have been unforgivable.

Yet despite all this, Quatre's quiet and thoughtful nature insisted on getting in the way. Over the last three years he had often found himself thinking along the same lines Wufei seemed to be thinking now. As he found himself hoping that there was still something else to this that none of them knew. But as the time continued to pass so too went with it his previous confidence in Heero, a small voice within his head pointing out the illogic in his assumption that there had to be more to the story. It had slowly become more than obvious for a while now that Heero would have had no trouble getting in contact with any of them to set these matters straight, if there was indeed anything to explain. Even if he couldn't risk it right after the shooting, Quatre found it hard to believe that Heero was under such strict observation everyday for the past three years that he couldn't even send off a single email. And that was ignoring all the time he must have spent in the shadows watching as the built the cottage.

The way Quatre saw it now, there wasn't anything left to say, other than perhaps a brief goodbye. Heero had lost out on any opportunities to say anything short of who he was working for but, that was something Quatre doubted the traitor would ever give up. Slowly Quatre focused more closely on what was being said, quickly noting how the conversation was going to continually circle, and lead them nowhere. He could easily understand Duo's and Zechs' anger, but at the exact same time he knew what Une was speaking about; the quick clean kill they all wanted was not an option. So what did that leave?

"How bad off is he?" Quatre questioned, eyes staring at his hands as he spoke, within his mind his thoughts had started turning, formulating a potential plan. "Could we not just let his injuries do the work? We all know he can withstand more than most, but the rest of the world doesn't know that. If word were to slip out about him, it wouldn't take much to tell them there was nothing we could do." He found the words hard to say, but surprisingly the conviction was there. What other options did they have?

Wufei's face clearly showed his shock at hearing such a suggestion, "That's dishonourable!" Wufei said once he was able to find his words.

"So was shooting from the shadows…" Trowa commented in an emotionless voice.

"All the same--" The Chinese man began receiving incredulous looks from near everyone in the room. A part of Quatre admired Wufei for being able to stand in the face of everyone's anger, and continue to state what he believed. Yet at the same time the former pilot couldn't help but feel a small stab of betrayal that Wufei was not clearly on there side with this.

Duo halted in his pacing staring hard at Wufei, "I can't believe you! Why are you defending him?! He shot you! He's the enemy! Why can't you see that?!" The rest of the room stood by in silence watching and waiting to see where this would go.

:::::::

Under the harsh scrutiny of everyone present Wufei did not think it was the right time to reveal his true thoughts and feelings on this subject. He had been hoping for some rational thought on the others part, or at the very least that he might be able to guide their decision from the side lines. But matters had quickly gotten out of hand, as the former pilots made suggestion that he simply could not believe came from them. It would appear as thought Heero's actions had affected them all much deeper than any of them could have possible known at the beginning.

"Look I've said it before; I want to see him punished as much as you do," Wufei still felt that was true, but he wanted his answers before he exacted said punishment. "But I'm not about to take the road of dishonour to get it, and I won't sit by and watch as you do the same."

"Honour no longer applies to Yuy!" Zechs spat harshly.

"But it does to me!" Wufei said with an equal calm, he was not going to let himself be driven from this, nor was he just going to let them do as they pleased.

"What about what he did to my sister?! Isn't that the same?!" Zechs seemed beyond reasoning now, as sparks shone brightly in his ice blue eyes, "A life for a life!"

The first flames of anger began to lick at Wufei's emotional fuse, and he tried to suppress them before this got out of hand. "He never killed her!"

"It's bad enough he tried," All eyes once more turned to Quatre who had come to his feet, he made his way between Zechs and Wufei, and looked them each in the eye. "Let's end it here for today, we aren't getting anywhere with this."

Zechs opened his mouth to object but Une overrode him, "Quatre's right, we need a break." She stepped out from around her desk, "He'll still be here tomorrow, I just hope cooler heads will prevail then."

Wufei watched as the others slowly got up to leave, mixed emotions on all faces, but there was one that was uniformly shared by all, and that was hatred. The Chinese man didn't get up at the same time and follow them all out, instead he remained sitting, his mind lost in deep thought. He was not entirely sure how much time passed before Une came to stand before him, eyes watching with a speculative light. "We need him alive…" Wufei found himself saying.

"For information on this organisation you believe held him?" she phrased it as a question even though she already knew what he meant. "What if he was working for them?"

"Doesn't matter," Wufei told her with a shake of his head. "They had him imprisoned in the worst conditions possible and forced him to build Zero. They might have been his allies at one time, but they've clearly been an enemy of the peace from the beginning."

"There is still a lot we need to know…" Une conceded quietly.

Wufei came to his feet then, for the moment content that Une was beginning to see a few matters at least from the same direction he was. This would give him a little leverage the next time through, as he highly doubted any of their conversations would get any better with time. He felt Une's eyes linger upon him in a contemplative way, a way that felt all too familiar, one that would lead to questions he'd rather not answer. But it was too late to escape, "What really happened Wufei?"

He repressed a sigh, and feigned innocence, "What?"

"You never told me, what transpired between you and Heero, that seems to be the point when your opinion turned." She studied him for any slight shift in his expression, "I want to know now, what happened back then."

"He shot me Une, what more could you possibly need to know?" he tried not to inch his way towards the door, but it was an effort.

"I know there's something that you haven't told anyone, but I can't imagine what could possibly happen that you would feel the need to hide it from us all."

"For the last time Une, nothing happened," Wufei told her vehemently his voice sounding tired to his own ears, before turning to leave the room. Trowa's reaction had been enough for Wufei to keep the memory firmly to himself, there was nothing in it that could help matters here, only inflame them.

:::::::

Heero let out a soft groan of pain, as his returned to the waking world, and he was once more surrounded with agony. Immediately he tried not to breathe, but even the way he was strapped down to the bed was enough to pull on each and every broken rib, making his simple existence agony unto itself. For a moment Heero remained lying with his eyes closed as he tried to assess his present situation. He could still feel the nausea, which was caused by the drug, but his body did not seem so awash with it, which lead the former pilot to believe they were finally keeping him hydrated permanently. That was a slight relief, though the condition he had been left in had him wondering what all was going to come of the next few days.

He couldn't blame any of them for acting in this manner; he had cultivated their anger over the years, had carefully done nothing to try and tell them the truth. Well he had tried at the beginning. He had left a file, carefully hidden—obviously too well hidden—on one of the computers, that explained his plan. He supposed it wasn't all that surprising that after his betrayal they didn't touch anything of his. He hoped now that if he was to die here by his only friends' hands, that they would never discover that file, never know how well he had played them.

Heero's dark thoughts were interrupted by a new presence walking towards him, and the former pilot flinched despite himself, causing skin to pull tightly across ribs, and tentative scabs to strain under the pressure. "So this is the mighy Heero Yuy," A nasally sounding voice seemed to sneer over top of him, "I didn't think you'd ever wake."

It took Heero several moments to open his eyes, and when he did the sudden brightness around him forced them to close right away. The light stabbed like daggers into his head, and seemed to burn itself into a single spot, where it was left to smoulder. But this pain was nothing to the shrieks of the rest of his body, and he was not going to remain laying there with his eyes closed while some unknown person stood over him. Finally with a monumental effort Heero was able to open both eyes, though he had to squint, and looked upon the man who had entered his space.

A doctor stood to his left, his features hard for Heero to make out, but that wasn't necessary at the moment, just being able to see him was enough. And Heero could see right away there was something about this man that made him uneasy, he didn't trust him, not like John. It amazed Heero how quickly he found himself relaxing around that old man, easily allowing him to enter his personal space to complete whatever task he felt needed to be done. Heero knew it had a lot to do with how John had first approached him, had always remained within eyesight, and had never made anything an ultimatum. He did not feel nearly so comfortable in the presence of this new man, something felt off, slightly sinister.

Heero watched them man warily, not liking having someone so deep within his personal space with not a damn thing he could do about it. The doctor took a step closer so he loomed over Heero's prone form, a dark sneer on his face. The expression was something Heero was just barely able to make out, as his eyes continued to adjust. "So you're the one who tired to take Relena's life…" The words sounded calm, and thoughtful, but Heero could feel a steely undercurrent, and the way he spoke Relena's name did nothing to lessen Heero's concerns about this man.

The mention of Relena sent Heero's mind spinning, was she aware that he was back? Had she come to see him? To voice her hatred to the 'traitor' who had 'tried' to take her life? He hoped not. Heero didn't want her to see him this way, but if she did come, the questions remained, would she let him explain and show her the truth of the last three years?.

_She's moved on…_

Heero reminded himself sadly, a frozen image flashing through his mind of a man kneeling before her, one hand held out for her to take. He couldn't remember where he had seen that image, his mind felt hazy, and clogged with memories that may or may not have happened. As it was he found it nearly impossible to discern between reality over the last several months and what he had lived in VR.

"Hey!" he felt a hand connect with the back of his head, the blow itself was not incredibly hard, but it came out of nowhere, and there was nothing he could do to defend himself. "Pay attention when I'm talking to you!" the doctor snarled. Heero's eyes narrowed into a glare, but the man just laughed, "Sorry, I don't find you all that intimidating right now."

He moved to walk to Heero's other side, but unlike John who had always taken the longer route down below his legs this man walked back behind his head. Heero jumped against his will hissing sharply in pain as his movements pulled at still fresh wounds. He could hear the other man laugh as he remained out of sight for several more seconds. And Heero tried best to stop his reactions, to not give this man the satisfaction, but that was as easy as trying not to breathe. They were such natural reactions for him; he hardly even considered it before he was done.

The doctor came back into view with slow strides, and an evil smirk upon his face. He came to a stop at Heero's right side, and rested one hand on the table while the other slipped into his coat pocket. There was nothing he could do to shift away from the other man's presence, even as his mind screamed at him to react. He knew this was a threat but he was helpless to do anything to stop it. Heero fought to control his shallow breathing not wanting to give this man the satisfaction of knowing just how much his presence was affecting him. "Tell me now!" the man said suddenly leaning in close, attempting to use intimidation, "Why didn't Relena deserve the right to live?!"

Heero stared at the man, nothing on his face changing. He was sliding deep within himself were he was safe from prying eyes. He wanted to speak, to explain what really happened, however somehow he just knew that anything he told this man would not make it past this room. No, if he wanted to explain the last three years he was going to have to do it directly to a pilot. Heero's internal thoughts were shattered as the doctor seemed to become impatient waiting for his answer. His hand had moved from just beside Heero's body to under the side of his damaged rib cage, where just its mere presence caused intense pain.

"Don't you dare ignore me, scum! There are hours left in the day," he leaned in closer applying more pressure as he did, causing Heero's breathing to halt altogether. "And I can think of some pretty persuasive ways of getting what I want." If the pain had allowed him to breathe Heero might actually have laughed. If this man thought he could throw anything his way that he had not already seen before and lived through, he was sadly mistaken.

Seeming to note the fact that Heero had stopped breathing altogether, the blond man backed off a little, allowing the white hot pain to subside so the wounded man could breathe. As he slowly brought oxygen back into his body Heero studied the man, noting the self-satisfied look that was on the other's face, "Who are you?" he asked speaking for the first time. His voice sounded no different that from when John was here, and he hardly even recognised it himself.

The man's face became a self-satisfied sneer as he stared down over Heero's wounded body, "Who am I?" he asked back the smiled only growing. "My name is Luc Carter I gave Relena her life back after you destroyed it," Luc leaned in close, "I showed her what love really is."

Luc's words struck Heero as hard as a blow to the gut would have, a gasp of air left his broken body, and all he could do was stare. Internally he hoped Luc could not see the effect of his words, he was not willing to give that man the satisfaction of a reaction. Was it true though? Had Relena truly moved on with her life, and been able to find happiness in the arms of this man? Heero desperately wanted not to believe, to be able to hold out that small hope for just a little longer. If he could explain what happened, Relena might actually still be there for him. A tiny voice, all to eager to share its opinion sprung to life, he should have known all along it was a foolish hope. Who could expect a woman to wait three long years, especially when your parting gift to was letting her think you had tried to take her life.

"I can tell you didn't want me to see," Luc started up again, a disturbing laugh escaping his lips. "I know you used to 'love' Relena. She now sees your love for the lie it truly is. You used her!" he accused angrily, "Then you shot her! Why did you shoot her?!" The hand was back on Heero's side driving pain deep into his body and the oxygen from his lungs, blackness began to swirl about his vision.

The doctor seemed to realise then what he was doing, and pulled his hand away, leaving Heero's trembling body to weakly draw breath. "You have no idea how your betrayal hurt her," the man continued this time keeping his anger in check, but only barely, "But then, I doubt you'd even care."

Heero's head lolled to the side, he did not have the strength to hold it up. There was no reason to hold on anymore besides it didn't even matter anymore if he held on or not. This man had what Heero had been hoping for from the very beginning, Luc had Relena's heart, but how had she fallen for such a sadistic person? It didn't matter, he dismissed the thought from his head, he deserved this pain. The battle had ended and the war was over, in his pain filled mind Heero vaguely remember witnessing a proposal. Had it been them he saw? Had Relena given herself fully to this man? Heero's eyes fell closed as what little fight had remained in his battered body drained away. He just wanted to fade away, leave this place for good.

"Hey!" Luc's hand shot out to grab Heero's head, and turned it back so it was facing him, "I didn't say you could sleep!"

The hand that still rested in his pocket slowly withdrew, and he held within it a small device, Heero was too tired and in too much pain to really care all that much about what it was, but already he knew it couldn't be good. Luc released Heero's head letting it fall to the side once more, as he began to uncoil the item in his hand, Heero now recognised it for what it was, and electrode. He took the circular head of the electrode and placed it firmly on Heero's right arm, right over the break in the bone. Heero hissed in pain, his half-glazed eyes watching Luc warily. He knew what was going to come, but he wouldn't give in. Not to this man, it wouldn't help him at all.

"For now at least they seem to be keeping you alive,' Luc continued eyes staring down at Heero's arm, "Probably for the answers you have, personally I see your existence as an unnecessary evil, but perhaps I can speed things up for them. No one really seems to want to come in and speak with you so I can get the answers for them."

"So tell me, Yuy, who do you work for?" Luc only waited a brief moment for Heero to potentially make a reply before his thumb compressed the small button on his hand held. Heero's muscles tensed in response to the electricity that was coursing into him, he bit back a groan, as his other injuries began to stab at him as he tensed away from this one.

Finally Luc released the switch, leaving Heero's weak body to shallowly gasp for breath. He fought to keep from passing out, didn't want to think of what this 'doctor' would do to his unconscious body. Still he was fairly sure he wouldn't be lasting much longer against the assault. While he had been fighting for consciousness, Luc had removed the electrode and had moved it to his leg, right below where a thick wad of bandage had been tied beneath the bloodied cloth of his pants.

"Why did you try to kill Relena?!" he didn't even give Heero a chance to answer, before he sent a shock into Heero's leg. He tried to fight against the tensing muscles but it was no use, and as the pain continued to build, Heero thought he felt something beneath the bandages tear. "Why did she not deserve to live?!" Luc demanded while jabbing his hand into Heero's side.

That was the limit. Heero's body could take no more, and despite his need to keep an eye on Luc whether he could do something about it or not, his body had the final say in the matter. Darkness claimed his mind, drawing him far from the pain and hatred he faced, to a place where he almost felt as though he didn't exist. It was a relief to fall into the abyss, though he couldn't help wondering with his last few seconds of conscious thought, what horrors he might wake to next.

:::::::

"John?"

The old doctor blinked, looking up from where he had been deep in thought to see the younger man standing before him. His mind had been completely focused on Heero, so much so that he had all but forgotten where he was. Coming back to himself now John recognised the man in front of him as the lab technician he had entrusted Heero's blood work to. The older doctor had come into the base a little earlier than was necessary to pick up the results, so he could hopefully give Heero something for the extreme pain he was in. Thoughts of Heero had distracted him for most of the day, as he tried to comprehend why Sally was doing this, while at the same time hoping the man watching over Heero during the day was compassionate.

"Are you with me John?" the tech man asked again, an amused smile on his face.

John chuckled softly, "Yes, sorry Nathan, I'm just a little distracted right now. Did you get the blood work done?" The file held in the other man's hand was answer enough.

"Yeah, I did a full work up just like you asked," Nathan handed the file over, and John quickly opened it up. "He's anaemic you know, he also lacking in most other nutrients, vitamin D especially."

"That's not unexpected," John assured, flipping through the folder eyes slowly taking in all that was there. "What about drugs? Did you find any in his system?" there was no doubt in his mind something would be found, what it was, was the question.

Nathan nodded his head, "There was just one, but it was so thick in his system--"

"What was it?" John asked looking up.

"Adnolprinaminophen."

"Adnolprina-what?" John shook his head in surprise, that was the absolute last drug he had expected to hear.

The technician laughed dryly, "Don't feel bad, I had to do some research on this one, there isn't all the much information available on it now. The drug first appeared about nine years ago, and the clinical studies quickly showed the it was highly addictive, with some nasty withdrawal symptoms, not to mention while on the drug patients felt ill the entire time." Nathan folded both arms across his chest and settled most of his weight on one leg, "This drug also works best when the patient is dehydrated, so it's rather dangerous to work with."

"What could they have possibly done with him on that?" John mused more to himself that Nathan.

"I can't think of any possible uses for this drug right now…" Nathan admitted.

John closed the folder looking up with a serious expression, "What can I expect when the withdrawal does hit?"

"Well a fever for starters," The younger man began, "He'll lose touch with reality, sort of fade in and out, that'll be partly because of the fever, but this drug elicits similar symptoms as Ecstasy."

The old doctor sighed, "This doesn't bode well…" he offered Nathan a smile, though he had to force it, "Thanks for all your help--"

"There's something else I need to tell you John," Nathan cut in suddenly, "You can't mix this drug with Tylenol, the reaction can be fatal."

"Good to know, though I don't think something as simple as that would help with his pain."

"Also, his white blood cell count seems to be on the rise. I don't know what condition your patient is in, but you might want to keep a closer eye on him, infection or withdrawal might be setting in." Nathan had no idea what he was giving advice on, and he couldn't know, Sally had stressed the secrecy necessary concerning Heero.

John offered him a smile, "Thanks for all your work Nathan."

"Hey no problem, have a good night."

"Thanks," John turned then to leave the room and make his way to Heero, where he had wanted to be from the moment he had stepped out of the room after his first shift. It had torn him up that he had to leave the boy in such a condition. But he had made himself trust Sally on this one; if she had chosen him for the midnight shift she must have chosen someone equally trustworthy for the daytime. And he was somewhat familiar with this Dr Luc Carter, a competent man, so he hoped that the day had worked out for Heero.

Coming to a stop just outside Heero's door, John was about to reach for the keypad when the smooth metal slid away before him, just as Luc was walking out. The younger doctor looked slightly disgruntled over something, and he barely offered John a glance before he was marching down the hall, back the way John had come. Watching him leave with a shrug of his shoulders, John stepped into the room, briefly stopping at the desk to drop off his meal and the folder Nathan had given him, before making his way to Heero's side.

At first glance the boy appeared to be asleep upon the table; nothing in his outward appearance seeming to have changed since John had last seen him. But as he came closer to the table, something seemed to change, and Heero's entire body went ridged like it had when he had first awoke yesterday night. "Heero?" John found himself asking, "It's just me," he assured, and watched with relief as the Japanese boy relaxed. But there was still tension in his face probably due to the pain he was feeling, thankfully there was something John could do about that now.

The boy's eyes opened slowly, and he watched John carefully. There was a wary glint in them, that had been there the first time he had awoke, but had left once John had gained a measure of his trust. That it was back now, worried John a little, but he tried to not let it show. He couldn't blame Heero for feeling threatened in his condition, he only hoped with time he'd be able to gain a complete trust. "Heero do you remember at all why you'd be on Adnolprinaminophen?" he inquired softly, hoping the boy was coherent enough to understand his question.

Heero stared at him obviously trying to think the whole matter through, and slowly his head gave the slightest of nods, "V…R…" he responded in a harsh voice. John's eyes widened at that unexpected answer, and he quickly made his way back to the desk and grabbed his water bottle. Returning he silently held it out to Heero waiting the few seconds it took for the boy to acknowledge that he did indeed want some, before he brought the water any closer.

Once he had given Heero a little bit of water, he asked for clarification; "What do you mean VR? As in Virtual Reality?"

The boy slowly nodded his head, "With enough…of the drug…and the…" Heero panted for breath, and winced each time at the strain it was putting on his wounded body.

"Shhh…it's alright, it doesn't really matter now," John cut in quickly, "What does matter is I can now give you something for the pain if you want." For some reason the boy seemed to hesitate for a brief moment then, as though he were actually considering whether or not he wanted something for the pain. John would have thought the whole matter would be a non-issue, but something was causing the boy to think it through. Finally he seemed to decide, and nodded his head. With much relief John moved over to the other side of the room, and began his search for the proper painkiller.

With a little effort, John managed to track down something that he was fairly sure would at least dull the pain if it did not remove it altogether. He carefully prepared everything before returning to Heero's side, and all the while he could feel the boy's eyes watching him. The more he thought about it, and the longer he was around Heero, the more John felt something had happened to the boy during the time that he had been away. But what beyond what he was already dealing with could effect him? And that was another thing that was bothering John; a part of him had hoped that he would walk in here and at least find that Heero's injuries had been properly attended too. However this was not the case at all, he was just as John had left him.

Walking back over to the table John made his usual trek to Heero's left side, and brought the syringe into view, almost making its appearance another request to make sure this was what the boy wanted. Heero nodded mutely, and watched with that guarded look in his pain-clouded eyes, and the point of the needle entered his vein, and the drug was sent coursing through him. John waited patiently, watching as Heero's weak body slowly gave into the painkiller, and his eyes grew heavy and finally closed. The old doctor waited several moments longer before reaching out two fingers to press to the side of the boy's neck taking measure of his pulse.

John stood over the boy for several moments just looking him over. It was in those minutes of silence that Nathan's words came back to him 'his white blood cell count seems to be on the rise… infection or withdrawal might be setting in'. Instantly John's hand shot out to rest upon Heero's forehead, searching for any rise in his temperature. He did not allow himself to breathe a sigh of relief when he found none. There was no really way short of a full examination to tell honestly what all might be wrong with him, and according to Sally an examination was something he couldn't do, not if he wanted to remain along side this boy.

Despite that fact John made his way to the boy's right side, still taking the longer rout even though Heero was no longer aware of anything that happened around him. Coming to a stop just below the boy's outstretched arm John scanned his eyes over the limb, and even reached out his hands to gently touch the bruised and bloodied flesh. He moved his fingers as close as he could to the pressure bandage about the boy's upper arm, searching for any heat that might suggest there's an infection in the wound. He found no heat there but a little further down Heero's arm John found something that had not been there the night before. John studied the circular burn on Heero's arm just before his elbow, wondering at how it had come to be there.

Try as he might to think of a logical explanation for this mysterious burn John was left without an answer. Some of the possibilities that entered the old doctor's mind seemed too horrific to be conceived, and he felt ashamed to have even considered them. However Heero had been very jumpy when John had first come in, could Luc have done something? John shook his head in frustration. What did he have to safely say? That Heero was more jumpy than normal? He had only been around the boy for one night, that wasn't enough to know what was normal for the boy. However there was a way to set his mind at ease and hopefully discover the origin of the burn.

With slow purposeful strides John made his way back to the monitoring station where all Heero's vital stats were displayed, and took a seat. He only gave the screens a brief glance before he turned his attention to the singular screen off to his left that displayed a live image of Heero's sleeping body. His fingers hovered over the keyboard just below the screen, and slowly the worked his way through the archived files until he found the images from earlier that day. John sat there for sometime watching the screen at a slightly high speed searching for anything unusual. The moment he saw Luc walk back behind Heero's head, and the boy jumped, he began to wonder if his first thought were truly wrong. But he reminded himself that this small gesture didn't mean anything Luc may just have not known how to behave around so jumpy a young man.

Convincing himself that this was so John continued to watch, but he stopped suddenly in shock, and backed up the footage, playing at normal speed. What he saw left him speechless, with both disbelief and anger. He watched Luc remove the electrode from Heero's arm, and leave the boy gasping for breath, before he moved it to Heero's leg. John was on his feet instantly striding back to Heero's right side, hands parting the material of the boy's pant leg right above the gash in his leg. He was not at all surprised to find another burn there.

This was inexcusable. What could be possibly gained from torturing someone who was already clearly in such extreme pain? John stood there for several seconds eyes glancing about the room trying to decide what he could possible about this horrific discovery. His eyes landed on the vid phone attached to one wall, and he strode over to it. Without hesitation he dialled the number to Sally's apartments on another floor of the base, she had always found it just as easy to live on sight as somewhere else. The screen lit up after only two rings, and Sally's face appeared her hair wet and hanging loose from a shower.

"John?" she sounded more than a little surprised at the sight of him.

"Sally we need to talk," John responded in a clipped tone, "In person," he added as an after thought, he wanted her to see what had been happening.

"What?" she glanced at her watch, "Do you realise the time?"

John's face fell into a glare despite his best efforts. He didn't want to direct his anger at Sally, it was not like she had knowingly put an evil man with the boy, knowing that he'd be tortured. He couldn't let himself believe that not for a second. Sally had been acting strangely where this child was concerned but even that seemed beyond her. "Just come down here, it's important," he glanced back in Heero's direction briefly before returning his steady gaze to Sally.

"Alright, I'll be down in a few minutes," with that her screen went black, and John was left wait in silence.

He went back over to the desk, and brought the surveillance footage back to the beginning of the torture, noticing this time as he did, that Luc's hand had also been applying pressure to Heero's broken ribs _Was there no depth to which Luc would not sink?_ John couldn't help but wonder. He tore his eyes off the screen as the door to the room slide open and Sally stepped in looking none too pleased at having to be in the same room with the traitor.

"What's all this about John?" she questioned immediately, crossing over to where he still sat.

"You need to see this," John told her while coming to his feet so she could take the chair.

With a sigh Sally took his vacated seat, her eyes already trained on the screen as John reached down and stuck the key that would set the images moving. He watched over Sally's shoulder as the ten minutes of footage played itself out, and she saw who Luc actually was. Each second stung John, and helped to fuel the flame of anger within him. But he held out a strong hope that this would end the torture, and Heero would not be made to suffer more than he already was. When the relevant part of the recording had finished John stopped the player, and looked to the female doctor he had worked with for a number of years.

"I suggest you forget what you've seen…" she told him softly coming to her feet.

"Sally!" John exclaimed in total shock.

The female doctor would not look John in the eye as she moved away from the desk, "Forget what you've seen John, I have reason enough to remove you from watching over him, don't forget _that_."

"You knew!" he accused unable to believe what he was hearing, "And you let it happen?!"

"I also know you've been going against my direct order," Sally said finally looking John directly in the eye.

"I've only been helping him!" John asserted.

"Which, last I checked, is something I had told you not to do. You were only to watch," She turned back towards the door after casting a hate filled glance Heero's way.

John took a step after her, his anger boiling, "This isn't like you Sally!"

"John, don't forget, you can be replaced," Sally told him softly, and turned back just enough to fix one eye upon him. "If you want to keep helping _him_ I suggest you forget what you saw, and just do your job." There was no mistaking the disgusted tone of her voice as she said 'him'. She turned her back fully to him, and walked from the room not bothering to look back.

John was left standing alone in stunned silence, unable believe what had just happened. His eyes strayed to Heero's sleeping form, was he going to have to leave this boy in the morning knowing he'd suffer through torture during the day? Was there nothing he could to put a stop to this? A shaky sigh escaped John's lips, as he came to realise how helpless he was in this whole matter. Walking with slow steps John came to a stop at Heero's side, and simply stared down at the boy. _How can their hate for him be so strong?_ John wondered as he looked at the young man who was next best thing to dead already.

It was something he could see clearest when Heero's eyes were opened, clouded by pain it was still clear. Something deep within him had died, how long ago John couldn't say, but it was a gapping wound that was slowly bleeding the life from him. And yet despite all this John could not see regret in the boy's eyes, not for his actions or for the position he was now stranded in. It made John wonder if this boy was truly the heartless killer the media had played him up to be, or whether there was something more buried even deeper. How was it that a man who would attempt to assassinate Relena would not hate the people who now held him captive? Was there a side to this story that no one knew?

Thanks for Reading!

****

Clinging to The Edge:

A wide smile spread across Luc's face as the conference room door closed behind him, and he made to head back the way he had come. That little bit of conversation had given him more information than he could ever hope for. There was no question now what he was going to do when he got back to the room; it amazed him even that he had not thought of this sooner, he knew the information on the drug just as well as Sally. So why this had never occurred to him before was a mystery.

Luc rode the elevator down to the floor Heero was being held on, humming a soft tune to himself the whole way. He received more than one smile from the people he passed seeming to take his eager anticipation for a general good mood. Luc nodded without really looking at who he was acknowledging, his stride lengthening as he wanted to make it back to Yuy's room quickly.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	24. Clinging To the Edge

****

Mistaken Words

AN: I had really wanted to have this chapter out a week after the last one, and neekabe can attest to the fact that she had it edited really early for me. However work has fried my sense of the day, and I thought today was Wednesday…even though I knew somewhere in the far reaches of my brain that yesterday was. Well any way at least it's out now for you all! I can say now that the double chapter, which is coming up next will be a little late but I'm working on it as fast as I can I promise!

Thanks to neekabe I'm sorry I couldn't show the readers how good you are by having this chapter out early.

****

Rekkaboziegirl: Thank you so much! I love trying to pick which part of the next chapter to give, it makes it all worth while when I can read your reactions! thanks again!

****

Raizard333: You…don't trust…me (looks completely innocent) when have I ever given you reason to doubt…I've never kill Heero. Wait there was that time with the alcohol poisoning….he sort of died twice didn't he…hmmm. Well he's not dead yet! and that's something to be thankful for! You're wise not to like Luc's smile, that man's evil mind is spinning out evil ideas at an alarming rate. Thanks so much for the review!

****

Shadowreader: Thanks so much! despite how it may look I really do like Heero, he's always been my favourite character…but I have notice a trend. We fangirls tend to hurt the ones we like in stories. And we are still getting ever closer to the others finding out the truth…I think it could be in three chapters perhaps four but I'd like it to be three. Thanks again, and please enjoy!

****

rayshine: Thank you very much! It's so great to know you're enjoying the story! I'm glad the descriptions are so vivid and real, I've been unable to picture what I write or read, since I started reading and writing. It does make things rather difficult at times, but what can you do? I have a friend who will draw pictures of what my characters look like, so that I can see them, which is really nice. Thanks again for the wonderful review!

****

darker magenta: I nearly fell out of my chair when I read your review! I hadn't been expecting anyone to make such a guess. But yes you're absolutely right, Luc's rubbing his evil little hands together in anticipation. Nope it's not wrong at all to love what I'm doing to Heero, though he might disagree with you, but that's why we're not asking him! I love reading these sorts of stories, when I have the chance, mostly because I love the scenes that come out of these situations. Thanks for the review!

****

Tiger Shinigami: In the beginning I was trying to walk a fine line during the introduction of Luc's character. I had really wanted for people to like him, but to have some hints of his evil nature in there, alas I gave too many hints, and the whole fact that he wanted to be with Relena poisoned most of my readers against him. But yes Luc you die a thousand terrible, terrible deaths! Ash on the other hand…neekabe might be a little sad if you killed him…she's sort of stolen him from me….I sure hope she's feeding him…Thanks again!

****

little princess: I was rather bored when I was in school…and that's what I did to liven things up, I wrote while my teacher was talking. I'm very good at multitasking so I'm able to pay attention to a conversation while still writing. They tried to catch me at not paying attention but after I gave them the correct answer twice they usually left me alone. Oh no worries we are so far from the end I can't even see it in the distance…even though I wrote it…or pretty close to it! Thanks so much for the review!

****

RikoRishodeathangeloflight¨my friends ask me why I don't just copy and past (laughs) that's just not my style, though I do keep trying to put spaces in your name, so if I ever make that mistake please forgive me. Thanks for the review! I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last!

****

Morrighan of Crimson and Sable: Tis true…I think Luc's lost it…if he ever had it to begin with. You get to see what's going through Sally's mind at the beginning of this chapter. It was a scene neekabe had suggested I write, and I had briefly been planing on putting at the end of the previous chapter, but obviously that had to be discarded in favour of this chapter. Well enough of my rambling on to the story! thanks again!

****

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing

****

Clinging To the Edge

Sally made her way back to her rooms without stopping for anything or anyone. She did not want to see the world around her, and she most certainly didn't want them to see her. Dropping down into one of her leather chairs Sally pressed her face into her hands trying to block out the emotions that were assaulting her, after her confrontation with John. _I haven't done anything wrong_ she tried to convince herself, without much success. _He's been through worse, he isn't even that bad off! He deserves a taste of the pain he's caused!_

Yet despite all her efforts that little voice of reason would not be silenced, and though small as it was, it carried with it a heavy barrage of knife-sharp emotions. They clung to her like burrs, throwing into question all that she had done thus far concerning the traitor. Sally knew she needed to be firm, had to be fully decided on where she stood in regard to Heero, there could be no weakness on her part. Massaging at her face with the tips of her fingers Sally tried to ease the tension this meeting with John had brought on. But it was not just him that had strung out her nerves, it was everything that had happened during these past few days; all the talk on what to do with the traitor, the pointless arguments. All that stress and bickering without coming any closer to a solution.

Sighing tiredly, Sally came to her feet and padded silently into her spacious bathroom. For a time she simply stared at her reflection in the mirror, bracing herself against the sink. The woman in the mirror glared disapprovingly at Sally her eyes boring accusatory holes into Sally's mind. _You're a doctor, how could you treat a patient like this?!_

"He's not that bad off!" Sally threw back to her reflection; the words sounding hollow to her ears.

_That doesn't matter. Have you forgotten your oath?_

Sally's mind flashed to the very oath she had sworn when becoming a doctor: to help those in need. Her hands began to shake, and Sally wrenched the cold water tap sending the clear liquid splashing down into the sink. "He discarded his rights when he tried to destroy the peace!" her voice wanted to tremble right along with her hand but she wouldn't allow it.

_This is not the way to treat a prisoner of war!_ the reflection sneered, not about the back down from this fight.

Scouring her memories for all the times Sally had witnessed Yuy do the impossible, her mind came to a stop on the first time she had ever lain eyes upon him. He had been brought in unconscious, totally soaked and bleeding from three fresh bullet wounds. But that was only the beginning list of his problems. That had become clear shortly after first bringing him into a holding room much like the one he now occupied. Somehow Heero Yuy had sustained more injuries that a simple visual sweep could detect, injuries that should have left any other person bed ridden for near a month. But he had still managed to escape with those injuries, inflicting further upon himself in the effort. Why then should she be worried now? They had not even stopped his bleeding back then, and she had done that here. What really was so wrong with how she was approaching this sistuation?

Sally sent her own sneer in the direction of the mirror, her confidence returning to assure her that the path she had chosen was, for the moment, the right course to take. She didn't care if that voice agreed or not, she wasn't going to listen to its accusations any longer. Bending forwards Sally gathered some of the ice cold water into her hands and splashed it upon her face. As she straightened to look herself over in the mirror, she was pleased to find her own neutral face staring back at her. Nodding in satisfaction Sally walked from the bathroom, shutting off the lights as she did, and made her way to bed, wanting to get a good nights sleep before the debate continued tomorrow.

:::::::

The climb from the pit of blackness seemed to take far more effort that Heero last remembered. For a time he wondered why he even tried, but by then he had already made it to the point where he could sense someone near to him. And once that happened it was too late; he couldn't just let himself slip away. Despite his condition, his instincts were still strong, and they wanted to know who was around him. His sense of hearing was the first to awaken, but for some odd reason it seemed muffled to him, and sounds that should have been distinguishable were now little more than whispers around him. Heero tried to open his eyes but found something had been bound across them, and suddenly panic set in.

Heero's heart leaped into his throat pounding at a rate that hurt, despite his efforts to remain calm. He somehow managed to keep his breathing from turning ragged but that was due in part to the pain he knew gasping would cause. He tired to resist the urge to twist his head as much as he could hoping that angling his hearing differently might give him a better idea as to where Luc was in the room. In the near silent blackness that surrounded Heero the attack came out of nowhere; slapping him across the top of his head. It was hardly something that Heero would have even blinked at, at any other time—not that at another time he would have even let it happen—but the fact that he couldn't see it coming or do anything to stop it, made if far worse.

His entire body jerked with the attack, and pain lanced through him because of it. Unbidden, a groan escaped his cracked lips. A laugh was his response and Heero thought it came from his right. The fact that the doctor was apparently hovering over his most injured side made Heero all the more tense. "Now this is a pleasant situation isn't it?" Luc's voice sounded disturbingly jovial, and it grated harshly against Heero's already strung out nerves. "We'll have lost of fun today!" the doctor punctuated his words with another slap to Heero's defenceless head.

Slowly, despite his best efforts and all the concentration he could muster, Heero's true reaction to the continuing and unpredictable attacks began to come out. His breathing began to grow ragged as his head twisted trying to see Luc through any means possible. His body screaming at him in pain and his instincts demanding he do something to stop this. A thousand different defensive moves flashed through Heero's pain ridden mind but not a one of them was a possibility, even were he free, he was still unable to move. A huge void opened up within Heero as the true understanding of his helplessness began to sink in, to fully let him realise just how little he could do, how vulnerable he really was.

There was no escape for him, not even into unconsciousness, not unless Luc managed to discover his body's limit as he did the day before. Heero could not let himself slip not when he wasn't safe. His training simply wouldn't allow it no matter how exhausted he was or how much easier it might be. The muffled sound of Luc's footsteps cut through Heero's fogged mind, and he tried to track their progress, focusing all available energy on following the other man's movements. Luc seemed to come to a stop near Heero's right side, and despite himself he tensed again, anticipating the pain that Luc could cause from there. So it was a shock when nothing came of it right away. However Heero wasn't about to let himself relax because of that, and he was soon given reason to be far more stressed than he already was. Luc's hand pressed rather lightly against his side but it was not just skin on skin, there was something in between.

Heero found himself holding his breath for a brief moment before the pain finally hit; the electrode jolted his side, causing muscles to clench and agony to follow. Slowly it spread through the rest of his body, and Heero felt himself slipping back towards the blackness. But Luc had learned from the first day, he knew now how far to push Heero, and he quickly let up. For long moments Heero could do nothing but pant softly for breath waiting for the pain to recede a little. This was going to be an interminably long day. He didn't even know what time it was now, or how much longer he might have to contend with this pain.

:::::::

John sat on the edge of his king size bed, elbows on knees, head in hands. He had been seated like that for some time, his mind to shocked by events of the previous night to actually let him get any sleep. And he wanted to sleep, so that he could be there, fully alert for the boy in case he needed him after another day at the hands of Luc. It tore John up inside to know that other doctor could very well be torturing Heero at that very moment, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. He felt truly helpless, and angry to the point where it nearly blinded him. John had done his best to shield this from his family, he didn't want them worrying overly much about his work, besides it wasn't like there was anything they could really do to help in the situation.

He pulled both hands through his grey hair and sighed, eyes falling tiredly closed, only to be met with the image of Heero's broken body. Shuddering John drew in a shaking breath. He shouldn't be letting this happen, he should have found a way to put a stop to all this. But what could he possibly do? There was no way for him to remove Heero from the room, nor was he competent enough to find a way to loop the cameras so he could actually do something useful for the boy. Yet even then what he did would be discovered…he felt truly worthless, and it was that sinking gnawing feeling of guilt that was going to make sleep most difficult.

"What's the matter love, you should be asleep," Merrian's soft voice broke through John's dark thoughts, and he lifted his head from his hands enough to glance her way, with what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

"I just have a lot on my mind right now…that's all," he said with a sigh, watching through the corner of one eye as Merrian moved to take a seat further up the bed. Once she had positioned herself, John lay back, his head resting comfortably in her lap.

She smiled down at him; her lined face looking as beautiful to him as it had the first day he had caught sight of her, so many wonderful years ago. "Would you like to talk about it? I might be able to help," Merrian ran her fingers gently through his hair, an action that immediately had a calming effect on John's whole body.

"I'm sure how much I can say…" he really wished he could discuss it with his wife, after all she was his better half and always managed to see his problems through a different light. But this was sensitive information he was dealing with here. There was a reason no one had announced to the world that Heero Yuy had finally been caught.

"Well just say what you can. I understand how these situations go, and you may find it still helps." Her hands moved away from his hair to slip into the half opened collar of his shirt, so she could gently massage his shoulders.

For a moment John let his eyes fall closed, almost loosing himself in the all too familiar feel of his wife's hands. Yet the peaceful moment was not to last, as an image of Heero's face flashed into his mind, and John's body jerked. Merrian's hands halted for a second before continuing once more, if his wife was anything it was certainly patient. Opening his eyes John focused his vision on the ceiling, but he wasn't really looking at it. "The patient Sally asked me to look after is just a boy…I can't believe he's any older than Jason, he might even be younger…" Jason was John's youngest son, he was going to be twenty in a few days.

"This seems an odd set up, why would she need you particularly during the night to watch over this boy? There are hundreds of doctors there who work the night shift regularly, what makes this boy so special?" The slight undertone in her voice clearly told John that while Merrian did indeed want to hear everything he could tell her, she was still not pleased that he had agreed to take on this job.

John sighed rubbing at his eyes with a hand, "The boy's special, no one outside of a select group even know he's there, and that's the way Sally wants to keep it."

"I see…" Merrian said by way of asking for more.

"It's the condition he's in, Merrian, his wounds only have field dressings on them!" John sat up suddenly no longer able to just lie there, he twisted to face his wife, her expression was one of confusion.

"That's not like Sally could there be something she hasn't told you about all this?"

The old doctor shook his head sadly, "I'm not even sure, but I was told on the first night I was to watch only, nothing more…Merrian you should have seen him. He's emaciated, I'm not sure what was done to him to get him into this condition, but if he remains here much longer he may not make it."

"This is horrible! I've never known Sally to be so callous, what's got into her?" Merrian reached out to rest her hand on John's trying to be as comforting as possible.

"Well there is a history between them," John replied slowly, "But even that's not enough to warrant such behaviour. And this isn't even the worst of it," he watched as his wife's features drew up in shock. "The man Sally has watching the boy during the day is getting his fun out of torturing him."

A hand flew to Merrian's mouth, "That's horrible!"

Merrian seemed to notice his sudden distress as she pulled him into her arms. Her embrace was a welcomed warmth to John slightly shaking body, "I want to help him, but I'm powerless."

John's eyes fell closed again, as he silently prayed Heero would make it through the day, that he would be alright, that Luc was just doing his job. In his mind John saw Heero as he first had two nights before, his unfocused eyes near wild with fright. "It's his eyes Merrian…" John began slowly still not opening his eyes, "I can't forget them…they're like nothing I've ever seen before." He felt himself free falling down a broken path; he had been taught and trained not to become attached to a patient, but that had simply not been an option where Heero was concerned.

"John, I wish I could assure you that this will all work out in the end…" Merrian spoke in soft gentle tones, her lips right beside his ear. "Just know that what you are doing must mean a great deal to this boy," she kissed the side of his head. "But you aren't going to be able to help him if you don't get enough sleep."

John offered his wife a weak smile, "I'm sorry I laid all that on you."

"No John, that's why I'm here, why we're together. We've always helped each other to sleep through the night." She guided his tired body down to the bed, and together they lay in the dimly lit room, with her arm draped over his side John found the comfort and warmth he needed to give himself over to sleep. He was going to be there for Heero through it all, not matter what came of it.

:::::::

Duo paced the length of the conference room. It was only six steps with his long stride, but he continued back and forth despite the glares he received from the others. He just couldn't hope to remain still, not with how he was feeling. Duo wanted to lash out at something, use his hands and his body to destroy. It didn't matter what, anything would do if it helped relieve the rage that had been boiling inside of him for days now. At first he had found comfort in its fiery embrace, it overpowered the hurt feelings of betrayal that had been gnawing at him for three years. Now however the rage was almost becoming too much. He almost feared at times he'd fall into the red light, and that would be the end, no one would be able to stop him.

They had all gathered once more. This time in a conference room instead of Une's office, but with both Quatre and Zechs being public figures finding a time where they could all be together without drawing attention was not the easiest thing to do. And besides that fact, they also had to work around Relena's schedule—so all the pilots could be present—though hers was not nearly so busy as it had once been. Trowa, Wufei, Sally, and Une all were seated about the table either sitting in silence or softly discussing the matter at hand. They expected Zechs and Quatre would be able to join them shortly, then the actual debate would begin.

Duo still couldn't see what there was to debate; for him there was only one out come to all of this, and that was for Yuy to pay the price his actions deserved. It was true Heero's hadn't killed her, but the attempt in itself was enough, and more so that his action could have destroyed the peace. The peace, that was something Heero had said they had finally achieved. He had promised Duo they would give as much to keep as they had to win. So what had made him change his mind? Why couldn't he simply be happy now that the rest of the world was? Why had he had to try and destroy it all?

Heero's broken promise cut Duo the deepest. Yes they still had peace, but it was far more tentative now than it had been before _that_ day. They all knew what it was like to live through war, had all lost loved ones through it. What he couldn't understand was why Yuy wanted that, to go back to those days. He had told Relena at the end of the war that he'd never kill again, had that been a lie? Had all the time they spent together been nothing more than him using them and patiently waiting for the right opportunity to strike? How had they all been so blind? For a while there Duo had thought himself the closest to Heero, so why hadn't Yuy come to him if he was having problems? It was because of this that Duo felt as though he carried part of the blame for what happened.

He wasn't about to let his emotions override the fact that the last thing any of them wanted was another war. However if that was what Yuy insisted on having, then they'd give it to him, they'd let him live as they all had lived during such times. There were no second chances now, no luxuries, no respite, no mercy.

:::::::

Luc glanced up from where he had been relaxing with a cup of coffee near the edge of the monitoring station. He took a sip of the still steaming brew as his eyes overlooked Yuy's thin form. He felt the day had gone rather well so far, Heero's nerves were obviously strung out over not being able to see where Luc was in the room, and not being able to predict when the next attack would come. However the fact that he couldn't see didn't seem to stop the boy from somehow managing to follow Luc's movements about the room with some degree of accuracy. It wasn't like Luc thought Heero would be able to pinpoint where he actually was; but there was always a slight twitch of his head in Luc's general direction no matter how quietly Luc moved.

Yet it all still didn't feel like enough. He had yet to make the traitor truly pay for his crimes against Relena. The mere thought of her stirred a torrent or emotions with in him, bitterness and jealousy towards the broken man lying before him. How she could possibly still want to be around him Luc didn't think he'd ever understand. He also felt hurt and betrayal at having been used by Relena, that was after all, the only possiable reason for her actions. He had given himself entirely to her when all she could see was Yuy, a man who tired to take her life.

Draining the last of his mug, Luc put it down and came to his feet, walking on silent feet to stand at the foot of the table. Heero's head had fallen to the side his covered eyes trying to watch where Luc had been previously seated. His head came up now, so it appeared he was looking at Luc. The doctor felt a spark of frustration at this, but the slight hitch in Heero's breathing, and the tensing of his muscles was enough to banish the emotion. The traitor was nervous. For several minutes Luc did nothing but look Yuy over his eyes passing without much interest over his injuries before coming to rest upon the IV that was feeding fluids into Heero's body. Or at least it had been, the bag was now empty.

He considered ignoring the bag and simply continue on with his day, but he thought Heero might better be able to retain consciousness if he were hydrated. So he walked back over to the desk debating whether or not he should ask Sally first, it was her call, and if she chose to refuse him perhaps he'd be able to use that against Heero. With his decision made Luc made his way over to the vid-phone and quickly dialled the number to Sally's office. He was greeted almost instantly with the face of Sally's secretary.

"Yes? What can I do for you?" she asked pleasantly.

"Could you patch me through to Sally?" Luc inquired glancing back over his shoulder at Yuy's form, besides occasional groans of pain the Japanese man had yet to speak.

"She's not in her office sir, Dr Po is actually in the middle of a meeting right now," the secretary responded smoothly.

"Ah I see," he breathed in return, "Would you be able to tell me where this meeting is?"

"I believe it's on the twelve floor, conference room B."

"Thank you very much," he said just before terminating the connection.

With one last glance Yuy's way Luc moved towards the door with the intention of going personally to this meeting to discover what Sally wanted done now, and perhaps to get a feel for what decision the others were reaching. He hoped they'd choose death, not that he wasn't having his fun now, but perhaps with Yuy entirely out of the picture Relena might wake up and see he was clearly the better choice. Without a second thought Luc walked from the room locking the door behind him.

:::::::

Zechs and Quatre had joined the now heated discussion only twenty minutes ago, but to Trowa's eyes and ears this conversation was going absolutely nowhere fast. What could they really do though but rehash old ideas? It was highly unlikely they would ever all be able to agree on something, not unless something new was offered, but as matters stood Trowa couldn't think of anything that was even half way feasible. He didn't doubt that everyone here wanted to see Yuy punished in one way or another, even Wufei who was the most vocal against just killing Heero straight off.

It wasn't just that Heero had tried to kill Relena and in doing so threw the peace into jeopardy. It was the fact that Heero had gained each and everyone's trust, and above all that Relena's heart, that had to have meant something to him. They had all been positive that he was truly in love with her, and that he had been a brother they could all trust and rely upon. But he had deceived them all. Heero had tossed it all aside as though it meant nothing, like Relena's love hadn't meant a thing to him, hadn't dragged him back from the brink on more than one occasion. How could he not be punished for this? For using countless people like they were nothing more than pawns in his game? Not even for a moment had Trowa thought Heero could be so utterly callous.

Trowa's sharp ears caught the sound of a tentative knock upon the door, and since he was standing closest too it he moved to answer, absently noting that although the debate did not cease, it did move to a near whisper. Looking out into the hallway Trowa was rather surprised to see Luc waiting, an impatient look plastered upon his face. "Yes?" the taller man asked, barely concealing the contempt from his voice. He had thought Luc was a good man for Relena to be seeing but after talking to Wufei and discovering a bit of the doctor's true character, he had decided first impressions can be misleading.

"I need to speak to Sally, if she has a moment," the doctor replied, the tension between them solid enough to cut with a knife.

"Come in," Trowa stepped aside and closed the door behind him. It was interesting to watch the conversation's volume grow without anyone really seeming to look in their direction, but the sheer fact that Trowa let the newcomer in meant that whoever it was must know about what was going on.

"…the drug he's on Adnolprina-whatever, is there any way to use that against him?" Duo asked his voice sounding strained like it was an effort to contain himself. Somehow he managed to have seated himself, though he looked about ready to jump up and start pacing again.

There was a moments consideration by the others seated at the table, "The drug doesn't mix well with Tylenol, the reaction can be fatal," Sally informed everyone calmly.

Wufei immediately began shaking his head at this but wasn't given a moment to actually speak his displeasure before Une was doing just that. "I don't like it, word could still get out about that, it would be rather hard to tell the press that yes we were aware of the drug, and it's side effects before we gave him the Tylenol."

All eyes in the room then turned to were Trowa stood along side Luc who's face had been made carefully unreadable as he waited in silence for a moment to speak with Sally. "What are you doing here Luc?" Sally was the first to speak, her expression far from pleased.

"His IV ran out I wanted to know if you wanted me to set him up with another…" Luc responded easily not at all put off by the hostility within the room.

"Yes of course," Sally waved him off not really appearing to care more just wanting to get back to the matter at hand.

Luc didn't wait around for anything else to be said before he walked from the room, with Wufei's eyes following close behind him Trowa noted. With that problem solved Trowa once more moved back to his spot against the wall and leaned back, preparing himself for the headache this was bound to cause.

:::::::

A wide smile spread across Luc's face as the conference room door closed behind him, and he made to head back the way he had come. That little bit of conversation had given him more information than he could ever hope for. There was no question now what he was going to do when he got back to the room. It amazed him even that he had not thought of this sooner, he knew the information on the drug just as well as Sally. So why this had never occurred to him before was a mystery.

Luc rode the elevator down to the floor Heero was being held on, humming a soft tune to himself the whole way. He received more than one smile from the people he passed seeming to take his eager anticipation for a general good mood. Luc nodded without really looking at who he was acknowledging, his stride lengthening. He wanted to make it back to Yuy's room as quickly as possiable.

:::::::

Heero lay surrounded by the deep silence of the room, he had heard muffled bits of Luc's conversation across the room, and the distinctive sound of the door opening. Luc had left. Yet he would not for a second allow himself to relax and believe that he was actually alone. What if it had all been some elaborate ploy to get Heero to drop his guard? He wasn't about to let Luc win, but he did take the silence and lack of sneak attacks to try and gather together his strung out nerves. He didn't want to be jumping at every little sound, in his mind Heero could practically see the smile plastered on Luc's face because of that.

His warrior's instincts were screaming at him almost non-stop, and that's what made lying still so difficult. Each little noise in the room was enough for his body to try and react. Frustration whelled up from within him, directed at himself and the situation he was in. Was there really any way out? Would any of them listen to him if he tried to explain his side of the story? Heero was fairly sure if he tried they wouldn't listen, and why should they with all he had led them to believe.

Heero shook his head slightly, there was no point in torturing himself with matters he couldn't change now. What was important was trying to stay alive in case an opportunity to explain his side of the story did come along. The sound of the door opening at the other end of the room, caused Heero's body to jump, and his well ordered thoughts to scatter. Luc was back, and that meant the attack could come from anywhere. Suddenly his senses were on full alert straining to hear anything that would tell him where Luc was in the room at the moment. His head twisted slightly when he felt he had found the general area, and then he waited, expecting the attack at any time.

When it did not come Heero wondered if he had been mistaken about it all, had he really heard the door opening? Was there even someone in the room? Or was his pain ridden mind just playing tricks on him? The distinctive 'click' of a shoe heel just off to his right caused Heero's body to jerk despite himself. "I see you missed me," Luc sneered, and Heero readied himself for the strike, but still it didn't come. He felt something tug lightly at his right arm, and he remembered that's where the IV had been inserted. Heero's body grew tense once more as he wondered what it was Luc possibly be planing to do with his IV.

The muffled footsteps moved away, and Heero strained to hear what was going on, but it was a hopeless endeavour. He was shut away from the actual happenings around him, left only to wonder at noises he might never have paid attention to with his eyes uncovered. Heero tried to gauge how long it took Luc to come back over to him, but it was difficult as his mind didn't want to focus for an extended length of time. The former pilot let his head fall towards the right side of his body as he heard the steps finally return, and once more there was a slight tug at the IV line. He could feel Luc's eyes staring down at him, and for some reason Heero was pretty sure there must have been a smug smile upon his face. Even with his eyes covered Heero could sense the air of self-satisfaction that emanated from the doctor. Weariness instantly took over Heero's body, as he highly doubted Luc was the type to be proud of himself for simply switching an IV bag.

The question now was, what had Luc put in the bag? For the moment Heero still felt the same, which wasn't great, but then again he hadn't been hooked up to the IV long enough yet to feel any effects of what Luc may have put in there. Heero flinched violently with the force of Luc's attack, though it was yet again little more than a slap. Luc's laughter grated upon every strung out nerve, and Heero could feel himself begin to slip, as the panic threatened to over take him again, and he wished he knew what time it was, how much longer he'd have to deal with this.

In the eerie silence that followed, Heero was left with little to do but try and sense his surroundings, while an increasingly odd feeling began to filter deeper into his body. Heero's heart began to ache within his chest, the gnawing pain spreading through both arms and down into his abdomen. A groan of pain escaped his lips as his stomach clenched against this unwanted pain. There was something in the IV, there was no doubt in Heero's mind now, and whatever it was, its effect was becoming worse by the second. Heero's thoughts began to scatter as the substance's flow became thicker throughout his system. Vaguely he was aware of something tugging at him, but he couldn't think clearly enough to realise what it was.

Time no longer held any meaning to Heero, as his breath came in short gasps. A slow numbness began to spread through his body, and he realised then that he was standing directly on the edge. He was staring death in the face, and there was no one there to hold him back, no one who would care if he were to fall. A shaky sigh escaped Heero's shivering body. It would be okay if it all ended this way, so long as they never discovered the truth of it all. That was a regret he never wanted any of them, especially Relena, to live with. As the blackness rose up to swallow him, Heero relaxed for the first time, in his mind he saw Relena her gentle smile guiding him to the end.

Thanks for Reading!

****

Too Close to Call:

At the thought of the drug something flashed in Wufei's mind. That was what they had been discussing when Luc walked in. That was what he had seen, a spark of interest in the doctors eyes and the barest hint of a smile. Wufei's mind was spinning now, trying to decide what it all meant, would Luc go so far as to kill Heero using Tylenol? The sinking feeling in the pit of Wufei's stomach told him the doctor just might. Without a word of warning the former pilot came to his feet and strode towards the door, drawing the debate to a screeching halt.

"Wufei, where are you going?!" Une called out from behind him, her voice alone commanding a response.

He glanced back over his shoulder one hand already drawing the door opened before him, "There's something I just thought of…" he trailed off not wanting to waste anymore time than it had taken him to realise the problem. "I need to take care of it," Wufei didn't wait for further question, but stepped out of the room, and made his way hurriedly to the elevator. He looked to his watch trying to remember about the time that Luc had come in there, he just hoped he wasn't to late.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	25. Too Close To Call

Mistaken Words

AN: I'm terribly sorry I've been taking so long, I know I promised you a double chapter, but the second chapter threw me a curveball that has taken me up till now to be able to fix. And I thought to myself that you ever so patient readers would mostly prefer something to nothing even if it isn't as long as I promised. So I hope you all won't be too mad with me, please enjoy this chapter, and I'm working as fast as I can on the next!

I'd like to thank my editors neekabe and Pious Knight! I wouldn't be here without the both of you!!

Clarobell: Thank you so much! and I'm sorry it took me so long! I hope my story continues to delight

merlyn1382: well at least everyone has a legitimate reason to want to see Luc dead (laughs) but seriously this man needs to be in a mental hospital. Thanks for the review!

Shadowreader: Hard to believe isn't it? I like John he's such a good person, and he continues to play a very large role in Heero's life from this point on. As for Sally….what can I say, she'll realise her mistake sooner or later, and then…. Thanks so much for the review!

Rekkaboziegirl: ACK!!! I'm so sorry, I can almost see your hopeful little eyes at the end of that review, and I hate disappointing you! I'm sorry! but at least I don't think this chapter ends with such a horrible cliff-hanger. Although I can't make the same promise about the preview. Thanks for the review!

D#: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you like the story and I hope you will continue to read!

Melodi Moon: Thanks the review! I can honestly tell you that this will not have a tragic ending, but we are so far from the ending right now that I can't even see it! Thanks again! and I hope you continue to enjoy!

darker magenta: Thank you so much! for both the review and the compliment. And I'm sorry I made you wait so long for the next chapter! without delay here it is!

Raizard333: Poor Heero just when he thinks it can't get any worse, I prove him wrong. The file will be found in I think two or three more chapters so we're really close to it now! thanks for the review!

little princess: Thanks for the review! great to know you're still reading! seeing there reactions would definitely be interesting, but it would change the path of my story, and remove too much tension and angst, and who wants that (laughs) thanks again!

Tiger Shinigami: WOW hold on a second you're telling me Flay's evil? seriously? this is the girl that kissed Kira, the one who's father was killed? she evil? I sort of thought she might be with some of the images (am reading the manga) but really? (laughs) alright back to the task at hand! thanks so much for the review! mmmmmm instant pudding…would it be chocolate? Thanks again!

Morrighan of Crimson and Sable: yep that about sums it up! sorry the more couldn't be as long as I wanted it to be. Thanks for the review!

RikoRishodeathangeloflight: Yeah Luc definitely belongs in a mental institution, thanks so much for the review! and I'm sorry this update took me so long!

ZeroYui: Wow thank you so much! That something a part of me has always wanted to hear. I'm sorry your wait was so long please enjoy this next chapter, and thanks again!

Kalorna Enera: ooooo I like the idea of have Zechs come after me (laughs) sorry it took me so long, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last, I like reading peoples rants it can be really amusing! thanks for the review!

Feathers1: Thank you so much for the review! I suppose parts of this story would definitely be considered angst, but I myself have never thought of the whole story as fitting into that category. Yep Relena will find out the truth, and we're not that far from it, perhaps two or three chapters. No worries about turning out well, although you do have to worry about getting there (evil smirk). thanks again!

Sakura Blossom-Cilla-85:P: Thanks for the review! and can I ask you a question about your name? what does the 'P' stand for? Thanks again, and I hope you continue to enjoy!

angelofdarkness: Thank you so much for the review, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get this chapter out! It's great to know that you're hooked to this story! and are willing to wait for my happy ending, I promise you happiness is coming…ever…so…slowly…but still coming (laughs) thanks again!

Kitty2satan: Thanks for the review! when you say Luc's Satan's little version of Aphrodite are you saying, a goddess of hate? cause yeah that about sums Luc up nicely! As for the Tylenol, because of the drug that Heero was on during VR he can't be given Tylenol the too drugs react badly to one another and could even result in death. Thanks again!

Vashs-daughter: Thank you so much! I hope you like this chapter as much as the others!

Disclaimer: I still have no writes of ownership to Gundam Wing…or the character there within, as for my own characters neekabe's stolen them!

****

Too Close To Call

Wufei sat back in his chair; ears no longer listening to the circular conversation that was going on around him, eyes focused idly on the door through which Luc had disappeared a while before. His mind had been reliving the few brief moments the doctor had stood among them, and something stuck out in his mind as odd, but he was having a hard time putting his finger on what that thing was. At first he had tried to shake the feeling and focus once more on the task at hand but as his mind continued to toss itself back to that moment, Wufei began to suspect that he was not simply imagining things, there had been something there.

What had they been discussing the moment Luc entered? Wufei rubbed at one temple trying to think back to their earlier conversation. So much had been said, and he felt like they had all been here for forever, without making even a sliver of progress. It was frustrating but what else could the do? Everyone was throwing out ideas; some of them more than a little shocking, but for each there was a legitimate reason why there had to be something else. Duo's mind was the fastest to turn out ideas, as he was clearly determined to find a solution to this problem. The Chinese man had found it interesting that Duo was the one to call the drug into question. Wufei had known that the drug had bad interactions with Tylenol but he couldn't recall a time when he might have mentioned something like that to Duo.

At the thought of the drug something flashed in Wufei's mind; that was what they had been discussing when Luc walked in. That was what he had seen; a spark of interest in the doctors eyes and the barest hint of a smile. Wufei's mind was spinning now, trying to decide what it all meant. Would Luc go so far as to kill Heero using Tylenol? The sinking feeling in the pit of Wufei's stomach told him the doctor just might. Without a word of warning the former pilot came to his feet and strode towards the door, drawing the debate to a screeching halt.

"Wufei, where are you going?!" Une called out from behind him, her voice alone commanding a response.

He glanced back over his shoulder one hand already drawing the door opened before him, "There's something I just thought of…" he trailed off not wanting to waste anymore time than it had taken him to realise the problem. "I need to take care of it," Wufei didn't wait for further question, but stepped out of the room, and make his way hurriedly to the elevator. He looked to his watch trying to remember about the time that Luc had come in there, he just hoped he wasn't too late.

Wufei passed through the numerous halls at a brisk pace, not halting for anyone, nor even bothering to nod in the direction of those who acknowledged him. This was not really uncommon for Wufei, when he had a destination very little could cause him to take his time in getting there. Most of the people in the agency were accustomed to his personality, but still felt the need to wave a useless hello as he passed. Coming to a stop outside the locked door Wufei briefly scoured his memory for the code that would open it. He was amazed for a moment at all the combinations of numbers that he had been forced to remember over the course of his life, and how he could still put number to door.

The door slid away before him, and Wufei's onyx eyes instantly fell on Luc. Through his peripherals he could see Heero laying there, appearing dead to the world. Wufei didn't allow himself to dwell upon the Japanese man, he had to get Luc out of the room first. The doctor was on his feet the moment the door opened and Wufei stepped in, the self-satisfied look disappearing from his face.

"Wufei…what brings you down here?" Luc inquired, his face and voice giving off nothing about what he had been up to.

"I want a few moments alone with Yuy," he made his voice purposefully harsh, his eyes narrowing at the mention of the traitor's name.

Luc's eyes darted over to Heero's body before settling once more on Wufei, "I'm not really supposed to leave him unattended…" he seemed to be trying to search for a way out.

"That didn't stop you from coming up to ask Sally about the IV," the Chinese man pointed out calmly.

That didn't leave the doctor much room to argue, finally he just nodded his head, "I'll give you ten minutes with him." Wufei smiled his thanks—it was a dry menacing smile—as Luc made his way out of the room.

Wufei wasted no time in seating himself behind the monitoring console so he could hack into the system and shut off the cameras, he didn't want Luc to see what he was about to do. With everything taken care of Wufei left the computers behind and walked over to the wounded man's side. Heero's breaths were ragged and dry, sounding very painful to Wufei's ears, and his face—what of it he could see around the blindfold—was coated in a thin layer of sweat. The traitor twisted weakly his body convulsing with the effects of the drug in his system. There was no doubt in Wufei's mind now that that was exactly what Luc had done, the doctor obviously thought himself very smart to end all their problems.

Taking hold of the IV line Wufei removed it from the needle leading into Heero's elbow. Gathering the contaminated IV the Chinese man walked over to the far side of the room, where he began his search for a new bag. He was not entirely lost in his hunt, he had watched Sally carefully many times, to see where she kept her supplies, and this set up was not much different from her offices. Locating the new IV bag, Wufei quickly made his way back over to Heero's side, the traitor's struggles had ceased, the effect of the drug having taken his body to its limits. However he was still breathing, and it sounded a little less laboured now that he was unconscious. Quickly Wufei reattached the new bag and line, ever aware of how little time he had.

He glanced at his watch, checking to see how much time he had left before Luc would be returning. It wasn't much but he hoped it might be enough to see a positive change with the new IV feeding fluids into Heero's body. Leaning his hands on the cold metal table Wufei's eyes watched the Japanese man's face, wishing he were awake and coherent. There was so much he wanted to ask him, but would Heero even bother to give answers? The others were all convinced Heero would take all that he knew to his grave, yet, thinking back to his encounter with Yuy, Wufei was more inclined to believe Heero was willing to share the truth about events. The only difficulty was in finding a time were he was coherent enough to speak, and hopefully at that time the other pilots wouldn't be present. Wufei doubted even now—that if Heero wanted to volunteer everything that happened over the last three years—that the others would be interested in listening.

It would have been nice to see an obvious change in Heero's condition before he had to leave, but he supposed just having it remain the same was good enough. At least this way Luc might not suspect his plan had been discovered and averted. Giving Heero one last look Wufei turned his back on his and walked back over to the monitoring station so that he could turn the cameras back on. Luc re-entered just as Wufei was finishing up, and his green eyes instantly focusing on Heero's prone form. Wufei spun the chair away after striking the last key, and fixed the malicious doctor with another evil grin. Without a word he got up and walked from the room, though a large part of him wanted to slam Luc against the wall, telling him to never try and go behind their backs again.

Restraining himself Wufei simply walked past the smug looking man and left the room behind. He wondered if the debate was still going on upstairs. He supposed it probably was, but was there any real point in his returning to it? Une was not about to let something happen that could cause a media nightmare, and that covered just about everything they had already discussed. Besides, he didn't feel like answering to further questions as to where he had gone and what he had done. If he told them, it would only be inviting more tension into their already strained discussion. So having come to a decision Wufei went in a new direction all together one that would lead him out of the agency and to his car. He had a feeling Relena might want someone to talk to, seeing as she was being kept in the dark over this matter.

::::::::::

Relena sat back in the oak inlaid armchair, trying to appear as relaxed and comfortable as she would usually be when sitting in her favourite chair. But that simply wasn't the case today, she wanted to be on the edge of her seat, hell she didn't want to be sitting at all. She wanted to pace in frustration, to shout at the top of her lungs at the injustice of her situation. However she knew none of that would make any difference, and she wasn't about to lose her dignity over something that could change nothing. Her pale blue eyes were focused out the sunroom windows, yet today she was unable to marvel at the beauty of her extensive gardens, today all she could really focus on was the man standing at the door behind her.

Agent Thomas Ryan stood casually just inside the room, his stance at ease but there was still an air of readiness about him. It had been just about four days since Wufei and Zechs returned with Heero, and since that moment Relena had basically been a prisoner in her home. Zechs instantly forbade Relena from seeing the traitor, an act that nearly made her see red on its own. Had the pilots not been completely on his side for this Relena might have been able to make it in there. But as matters stood now, the pilots did fully agree with Zechs, and they had the complete attention of her regular guards. So it had been four days, and Relena had been left in the dark as to Heero's condition, and the manner in which the others were planning on handling this situation.

A sigh escaped her lips unbidden and she glanced through the corner of one eye at Thomas, he and Derrick had returned to active duty the minute they had been cleared by Sally to do so. It was clear the events that took place in November had left them with a burning desire to prove their worth. Relena had never wanted them to feel responsible for what had happened, but telling them to forget about it and actually expecting them to do so were two entirely different things. They both had personal grudges directed entirely at Heero, so it was no wonder they were her two most diligent guards right now. It was a wonder to her that either of them even slept with how much time they seemed to spend around her during the day. Yet their company was something she had always enjoyed, which made this confinement just a little more bearable.

She realised suddenly that she was drumming her fingers upon the arm of the chair, and she instantly pulled herself up. Relena did not want to show any form of impatience, she wanted to remain cool distant from all of this, no matter how difficult that might prove. She wanted to be able to look back on these days and throw them in her brother's face, to prove to him that she was able to contain herself better than any of them. She more than any of them had a right to be at the forefront of everything that had to do with Heero.

A soft knock on the door brought Relena from her thoughts and caused her to turn. A smile lit up her face at the sight of Wufei standing in the doorway, hair drawn back in its usual ponytail though a few strands had pulled free to frame his face, leading Relena to believe he had driven over with his window down. His face was neutral and his stance relaxed as he waited with his hands in pockets. It only took her a second to take him all in, and she was on her feet in a heartbeat walking over to properly greet him. "Wufei, what brings you here? Has the debate for today already ended?" silently Relena was amazed at the indifference, which coated her voice.

Wufei's olive features flickered with a small smile of his own, before he silently nodded Thomas from the room, and closed the door behind him. "No, they're still going at it, but I'm sick of the endlessly circling conversation."

_It must be surreal to discuss how best to kill a man you once called friend_ Relena thought bitterly. She doubted she'd have much luck convincing them otherwise even if she could be a part of the debate; the pilots had all had too long of a time in which to cultivate their anger and resentment. Relena mental shook the thoughts away as she lead Wufei back to where she had been sitting, they studied each other in the silence. Wufei was a different case from the others, Relena had watched the slow changes progress over the years and had often wondered what had lead the Chinese man to his change of perspective.

"How long do you think they can keep this up?" she inquired watching Wufei's eyes fixedly; they were voids swallowing up everything and revealing nothing in return.

"At this point?" he leaned deeper into his chair folding his arms over his muscled chest, and casting his gaze towards the ceiling. "Forever. The question is how long Yuy will last…"

Relena's heart clenched within her chest at his words, this was not to say she was not feeling a certain amount of anger towards the former pilot. But despite all he had done, and all the questions he had left behind, Relena could not bring herself to deny her love for him, even if it was no longer returned. The thought of him dying without her ever being able to understand all that had happened to him, tore her apart inside, yet she would not let it show. "Is he really that bad off?" perhaps Wufei would be kind enough to tell her what actually had happened to him.

"The injuries themselves are nothing he hasn't lived through before," Wufei elaborated, "but the malnutrition and drug that he had been on could prove a problem. And if that wasn't bad enough, there's also the doctor who Sally has looking after him during the day." The former pilot shook his head at that, a gesture of disgust if ever Relena had seen one.

There were no doubts in Relena's mind just who it was Sally had chosen for that task, and the thought of it almost had her clenching her hand, but she was not going to give anything away not to anyone. "Has he said anything?" if Heero was innocent of all they believed, or at the very least if there was something he had kept to himself, Relena was hopeful that he would try his best to tell them.

"He hasn't been given a chance," Wufei replied studying her as though seeing her for the first time, his one eyebrow raised as though in question. It was obvious he was curious at her utter calm.

"Will any of you ever give him a chance?" despite her very best efforts Relena could not keep a hint of the venom she was feeling from her voice right then.

A knowing look entered Wufei's onyx eyes then, as though that one slip had let him see directly through her so he knew what she was planning. It drove her nuts just how observant these pilots could be, you couldn't make a single misstep around them. "I'd like to, but then I'm not really the one calling the shots here, there's also the fact that he hasn't really been in a condition to speak yet."

"Is this because of Luc?" Relena's voice had once more attained the indifference she had wanted to maintain.

"Yes, partly," the Chinese man confessed, the way in which he was speaking to her clearly told Relena that he was going to take her act for truth, and be a blunt as she wanted him to be.

"What has he been doing?"

"Torture…"

That single word nearly shattered Relena's carefully constructed barriers. Despite everything he had done, did Heero really deserve that? Were they all willing to sink that low? The sheer fact that it was happening seemed to answer Relena's second question. "I wouldn't have thought Luc capable of that…" she whispered more to herself than Wufei, as she tried to banish the mental pictures of all the possible things he could be doing to Heero at this very moment.

"He hid a lot I think," Wufei's eyes were once more piercing, he had seen her façade for what it truly was, but this didn't mean he could see what she was thinking.

"Are you the only one that knows this?" The look upon Wufei's face was almost an answer to her question.

Relena forced herself to loosen the grip her hands held upon her dress. Nothing, she wasn't going to give them anything, externally she was completely unaffected. Internally she was crying out, how could they do this? How could they loose their humanity? Their conversation lapsed into silence, what more could they say? They both knew the other cared, but both were powerless to do anything about it. They sat there together in a depressed silence one that clung to them heavily like an oily film. Was an end to this even coming?

"No," the word was ground out with a great deal of frustration, "But no one else cares."

::::::::::

It was a wonder to Heero, as he slowly climbed from the pit of blackness, that he was able to leave it at all. He had thought for sure when last he was aware that that was the last of the world he'd ever see. But now to be back in the world again, Heero wasn't at all sure how he should feel; relief or dread. His face was still covered with the blindfold, and an unwanted tremor ran down his body in anticipation of Luc's attack. Yet nothing came in the seconds and minutes that followed, just an eerie silence, and Heero began to wonder if he was, in fact, alone once again.

A wave of nausea washed over Heero, an after effect of whatever Luc had put in his IV. He didn't feel nearly as bad now as he had before, but there was still that deep gnawing ache in the very core of his being that didn't seem to want to leave. Suppressing a groan, Heero attempted to focus his senses to the room around him, searching for a noise that might distinguish whether or not he was truly alone. He certainly wouldn't have put it past Luc to hide his presence by not moving, yet blindfolded or not Heero had always been able to sense the doctor's closeness. Nevertheless he was not going to let himself relax too much simply because he thought he was alone.

Across the room Heero heard the muffled sound of the door opening and every muscle tensed against whatever Luc was going to do next. He heard the long strides carry the doctor over to him, and his body began to tremble despite his best efforts to make it stop. "Heero, it's alright, it's only me…" a gentle voice spoke up finally, a voice filled with concern, and familiarity.

Relief filled Heero at the sound of John's voice, but after a day of tension and being unable to see he just couldn't let himself relax yet. "I'm going to remove the blindfold alright?" John informed the sound of his voice having a soothing effect on Heero's strung out nerves. Yet the minute he felt John's fingers brush against his head, Heero couldn't keep his body from jumping in response.

:::::::::

John stared down at the boy trying to decide what he could do for him. It was clear whatever Luc had done to Heero during the day had left the boy's nerves completely strung out. He knew nothing would improve until he was able to remove the cloth that was covering Heero's eyes. Yet doing that was proving to be very difficult with how jumpy Heero was. As much as John wanted to reach out and touch Heero, he could understand why this boy needed as much personal space as he could be given. But at the very same time John couldn't just sit back and leave the boy blindfolded, that wasn't going to help matters in the least.

The boy's breathing was becoming more laboured, as he was obviously trying to keep himself calm. John's hand flexed at his side and his anger rose, he couldn't believe Luc had done this, though considering what had happened the day before he didn't know why anything should surprise him now. His eyes glanced around the room in a useless attempt to think of something, anything that would solve this problem. But of course he was left exactly where he had started, standing besides the injured boy, wanting to reach out and touch him, but fearing that would do more harm than good. Looking the boy over yet again John began searching for a place upon Heero's body that might not be taken for quite so vulnerable. A spot where he could begin to adjust Heero to human contact, it would take time but it was the only idea his mind was turning out at the moment.

Even without the boy's numerous injuries John already knew there weren't many places on his body that wouldn't be considered a vulnerable area. Or at the very least, wouldn't be vital to the life that he led, and it hadn't taken much to tell John that it had been a soldier's life. Finally he came to the decision that little more than the shin and shoulder were open to him, anything else was just too sensitive. He was still hesitant to trying touching the boy's shoulder, it was, after all, close to his head and neck, both vital areas of the body. However it was the closest to his ultimate goal, which was the removal of the blindfold. So with a slow calming breath that was the one he chose.

"Heero, just relax I'm only going to put my hand on your shoulder, alright? I'm not going to hurt you. You can trust me," the words left his lips in a soothing stream, but he could still see Heero's body tense in anticipation of the contact. Gently John reached out with his right hand placing it upon the side of Heero's left shoulder; the boy flinched despite himself, and his body became ridged but John did not withdraw his hand. He kept it in place, not moving it, just keeping a steady contact, and slowly—much to John's relief—the boy began to relax. "That's better," he smiled down at Heero.

"Mind if I tried to take the blindfold off?" he asked the question, and waited patiently for the boy's almost non-existent nod, before he reached out with his left hand to take hold of the black cloth. All the while his right hand remained on Heero's shoulder, he wasn't about to break the contact for fear it would start him all the way back at the beginning. It was a little awkward working the blindfold from Heero's head with only one hand, but with no other option opened to him John somehow managed it.

::::::::::

Heero's eyes opened for the first time that day, but he was quickly forced to close them against the harsh lights. He could still feel John's hand upon his shoulder a non-threatening contact, just there to remind Heero that he was not alone, and not everyone was going to be like Luc. Nothing however would be able to change how defenceless Heero felt in his present situation, or how weak, that he would allow Luc to affect him so much. And trying not to think on such matters was as easy as deciding to stop breathing, the warrior in him simply wouldn't allow him to forget what he would have been able to do had situations been a little different.

Slowly Heero was able to open his eyes even though the lights continued to stab into the back of his head like a knife, yet it was nothing in comparison to what the rest of his body was feeling, and so quickly faded into the background. The after effects of whatever Luc had put into the IV seemed to be fading, much to Heero's relief, and his breathing was slowly evening out. Glancing up at the kind old doctor, Heero could see his eyes watching concern was clear within them despite the fact that his face was mostly in shadows.

"Would you like another painkiller?" the doctor inquired gently.

"No…" Heero managed to rasp out though his throat was parched and sore.

John's hand gently squeezed Heero's shoulder, the former pilot was fairly sure it was an unconscious gesture. "Heero I can tell you're in pain, there's no reason for you to be like that while I'm here. Nothing will happen to you while you sleep, I promise."

Heero shook his head every so slightly, "I don't want…to be awake…tom…" his voice failed him before he could finish what he had wanted to say, but it seemed fairly clear that John understood what was to come next. The last thing Heero wanted was to be 'well rested' for the next day, and whatever Luc might have planned.

"You need as much rest as you can get Heero," John attempted to reason, but it didn't sound to Heero's ears like John was going to force this issue.

"…be alright…" he rasped, trying to suppress a dry cough the itch in the back of his throat had brought to life.

He felt John's hand withdraw as the doctor stepped away from the table, he wasn't gone for long as he quickly came back over with a bottle of water held in his hand. Heero's stomach threatened to turn on him at the sight of the life-giving liquid but he forced it from his mind, the vast majority of his body really wanted this. He didn't flinch this time as John came in range and his hand came in contact with Heero's shoulder. The feeling of the cool liquid trickling down the back of his throat was as close to Heaven as seeing Relena's smiling face would be. Lacking the one he simply had to make do with the other, in the hopes that the latter would be something he'd be able to see before the end at least.

John lowered Heero's head back to the table, and the Japanese man was surprised to find his head pillowed on something soft, he assumed it was the black cloth that had bound his eyes for the day. He found that tiny added comfort did a great deal for how he was feeling, it couldn't alleviate any of his physical pain, but more than nice not to be surrounded by people who hated him the whole day. "So you don't want to sleep…" John broke the silence between them eyes watching the water bottle he was fingering before focusing on Heero's face, "What does that leave us?"

Heero let his head fall to the side eyes focusing on what of John he could still see, the old doctor seemed to get an idea from this, as he moved off to the far side of the room and quickly returned with a wheeled chair. He seated himself where he'd be in Heero's line of vision, the water bottle still in hand, in case Heero needed it again. "If the pain becomes to much just let me know and I'll get you something for it," John offered it was clear that he wasn't comfortable with this, but would do what Heero wanted at least for now.

He didn't bother to respond to that, already knowing he wasn't going to accept anything until just before John was going to leave. An awkward silence stretched out between them, as John seemed at a loss for something to say. Had Heero been any other person he might have prompted the old man towards a conversation, but he merely watched John in his silent struggles. "You know I have a son about your age…" John began slowly eyes watching his hands, "His name's Jason…" Heero found himself relaxing further at the constant sound of John's comforting voice, as he spoke of his extensive family.

:::::::::

It was in the early hours of the morning that John was beginning to wonder how much longer Heero would be able to hold out before his body finally began to give in. John had been amazed that he had lasted this long, all the while that he had spoken of his family, and anything else he could think up he had noted the light of interest in Heero's eyes. That was something he had not expected to see, he had just been rambling really hoping that a constant stream of words would have the affect that Heero was searching for. But it had appeared to John as though Heero actually wanted to know more.

Silence had settled over them as John had finally run out of things to say, Heero didn't appear to have a problem with this as he continued to lay there eyes half opened, as though it took too much effort to keep them fully opened. John slowly came to his feet, his joints stiff from having been sitting for so long, he smiled down at the boy, "I'm not as young as a used to be, I can't remain sitting for that long." Stretching, John stepped away from the table and made his way slowly towards the monitoring station. It felt good to be up and moving around, walking around the station John let his eyes sweep over the screens there, taking in at a glance all that they could tell him about Heero's condition.

For a moment he passed them all over without really looking, nothing seemed to have changed that he could see. But something stopped him, a slight rise in one of the readings that caught his attention, Heero's temperature was on the rise. Looking up over the station John gave Heero a visual once over noting that the boy's features were beginning to look flushed, and his breathing was becoming dry and laboured. John was back at Heero's side in an instant, his previous stiffness forgotten in light of this sudden change. "Heero?" he called the boy's gently, and in response Heero's head came up a little so he could look at John.

He touched Heero first on the shoulder, using that 'safe' spot as a way to initiate contact and gauge the boy's reaction to it. It didn't seem as though he cared all that much, and John tentatively reached out his hand to let his fingers brush against the boy's forehead. He did not let them linger long, there was no reason to, one touch was enough to confirm what the sensors had told him, and fear gripped him. There was two possibilities that could have lead to this, neither John liked the thought of, on the one hand infection could have been setting in, and on the other withdrawal. Both were just as likely to end the boy's life if he didn't start receiving better care from Sally.

John's eyes left Heero's body only to focus upon the phone at the other side of the room, and he made his way towards it. Briefly he considered checking to see what time it was, but he already knew it wouldn't matter, he was going to put an end to this. Eyes watching Heero the whole time John dialled the number to Sally's room, and waiting the several minutes it took for her to finally answer the phone.

Sally's eyes were sleep filled and her hair dishevelled when she seated herself before the phone, and she looked none too pleased about who she was answering too. "What is it John? And it had better be good!"

"You can't leave Heero like this any longer," John couldn't keep the growl from his voice then, "Infection could be setting in."

Running a hand through her hair Sally sighed, "What makes you think that?"

"He started running a fever a little while ago. And I know it's not because of anything I've done to him," John said pointedly.

"I'm sure it's nothing he can't handle," she was quick to reply, but to John's ears it sounded forced, and he felt sure that if he pushed matters he might actually be able to get what he wanted. He was not going to back down, no matter what she threatened him with.

"That doesn't matter, I'm not going to sit by any longer, I won't watch him die!"

"Are you forgetting how easy it would be to replace you?"

John shook his head, "Stop with the threats Sally, you and I both know you don't want word of Heero's being here to get out, and I also know there's nothing you can do to silence me."

Her eyes widened at that, seeing the truth behind his words, and it was also clear that she was trying her best to think of a way around what he had just declared. However, his ultimatum didn't leave any room for further arguments. "I'll be in, in the morning," she shut off her end of line before he could argue with her decision, ideally he would have liked for her to have come down now, but that obviously wasn't going to happen.

With a sigh, John made his way back over Heero's side, the boy had been watching him the whole time, but how much of it he heard John couldn't be sure. "Sally's coming down in a few hours, to take proper care of your injuries," the old doctor informed wondering at the boy's reaction. Heero's eyes opened a little wider but that was the only real reaction he gave. John hoped that was more due to exhaustion than this sudden fever. Dropping down into the seat once more John glanced at his watch to see how much longer they'd have to wait, he had a sinking feeling the time would just crawl by.

Thanks for Reading!

****

The Only Man to Ever Break Heero Yuy:

AN: the preview that I wanted to use for this chapter had unfortunately not been written when I came to this part, so I've filled in the gap as best I could. So that I could write the scene in a way that it should actually appear in the next chapter. Here it is, I hope I don't have to make too many changes before then next chapter, and please forgive both grammar and type-os

Both men looked at one another, and neither seemed all that impressed with Heero's proposal. It was clear that they themselves couldn't make sense of what he had said, he just hoped they'd take it to Trowa. Josh finally shrugged his shoulders "Do we really have anything to lose?"

Garrison appeared to mull over it all, his stance shifting from threatening to relaxed seemingly without his notice. His eyes swept over Heero as he continued to consider the proposition, the former pilot found himself holding his breath, and not just because breathing hurt. "Alright, we'll take the message to Trowa, but that's all, if he doesn't come you'll answer to us!" Heero didn't acknowledge the threat, as he already knew if Trowa didn't come—as unlikely as that seemed—he wouldn't be speaking at all.

They turned to leave then, both men making their way towards the door, and Heero was silently glad one was not remaining behind to watch him. He wanted a few moments of peace, no matter how brief they were, just to be alone, and not threatened was enough. He lay there in the silence trying to gather his thoughts as best he could, but each time he thought about how the conversation might go, they'd scatter at the mere though this nightmare might come to an end. Heero didn't want to get his hopes up, not after so many crushing defeats, but it was difficult when faced with such a situation.

Heero was unsure as to how much time passed while he waited in the silence tremors coursing over his body which were caused by both pain and excitement. The click of the door's lock giving way rung out in the stillness alerting Heero to the arrival of either Trowa or his interrogator. The door seemed to take longer than normal to open, and Heero strained his vision to see just who was standing on the other side. A tall figure stepped over the threshold, and Heero's hope soared despite himself, as Trowa came a few steps closer.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	26. The Only Man to Ever Break Heero Yuy

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Here we are again! I'm sorry this chapter took so long, and I'm sure you are all tired of hearing that by now. But I'm working as quickly as I can, I now have a few chapters finished just waiting to be edited so hopefully there won't be so long a wait for the next one. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, we are so close now to what you all want to see! Thank you all for being so patient!

Thanks to my two editors! Pious Knight and neekabe! Without them this story would be unreadable (laughs)

**Ukchana**: Yeah right now I'm being awfully evil to him, but I promise you good will come of it! I'm sure there would be a convention of some sort, but even today people don't always follow with it. You're right about Sally...but keeping in mind the show I don't think it's entirely hard to believe. I'm not sure if you have ever been able to watch the uncut version. But in the second or third episode when Heero's taken to the hospital, not only is he left in his street clothes but his wounds are unattended, blood is actually dripping off the table, I don't feel there's too much realism there. I don't think Relena going to the police would have the desired effect, if she did, and she told them that Heero Yuy was being held, that would only rush them to judgement and an inevitable trial, something I think she also would like to avoid. You bring up a lot of excellent points and I'm glad you still find the story interesting I hope you continue to read! Thanks for the review!

**Feathers1**: Sorry I took so long, we are so close now to the truth coming out! You've made it this far (laughs) what's a few more chapters eh? Thank you so much for reading! Wonderful to know you're loving the story! Thanks for the review!

**Rekkabozigirl**: Did it ever way upon my conscience! I didn't eat, couldn't sleep (laughs) alright maybe not that bad, but I could hardly work on my story without thinking of how long it had been since I last posted. But here I am now with another chapter, and with a teaser for the next one that I think everyone will love! Thanks so much for the review I hope you enjoy with chapter!

**RikoRishodeathangeloflight**: Thank you so much! I need a little forgiveness for this (smiles) it's been so long, but these chapters were so hard to write, and work kept getting in the way. But I'm here now! Interesting little fact, 'The Only Man to Ever Break Heero Yuy' is the only reason why I've been titling these chapters from the beginning. My friend neekabe thought it would be great to use this title, and I agreed, which meant that I had to title all the chapters before and after (laughs) not an easy task, but I'm finding it fun! As for Heero and Trowa in this chapter….well I'd rather not spoil it for you! Enjoy! And thanks for the wonderful review!

**Raisard333**: wow a second death threat (smiles evilly) I'm really getting through to people! Thanks so much for the review! And the information about Flay (laughs) sort of blows my mind, even though some of her pictures in the manga looked rather sinister. After 25 chapters two more really isn't that many is it? What's the name of your story? Thanks again for the review!

**MissBug**: Thank you for the review! I'm so glad you're reading and enjoying the story! I hope you continue to enjoy, and that I didn't make you wait to long!

**Morrighan of Crimson and Sable**: (smiles) who says that won't happen? Thank you for the review! The truth is coming I promise!

**shadowreader**: Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you brought both of those points up, this isn't the first time I've been asked that, but as I was writing the chapter that comes after this one, the answer came to me loud and clear. Heero never killed the assassin, only wounded him, also where Heero was standing in relation to the assassin and Relena's position put him almost directly behind him. Not to mention the fact that Heero being a master hacker could easily destroy any forensics evidence gathered at the scene, we can also keep in mind that Quatre saw Heero pull the trigger, and once that information got out to the public he was a marked man, there really wasn't much reason to search any deeper. Hope that answers you questions (smiles) Thanks again for the review!

**darker magenta**: hurray for confetti! I hope you through a lot more when you see this chapter is out! Thanks for the review!

**Tiger Shinigami**: (laughs) thanks so much for the review! Were are you getting these crazy ideas from (smiles) they're very amusing…if not a little confusing (laughs) 'Poor Heero' that's a phrase that gets rather overworked in this story, I'm so mean to him, but I just like him so much that I can't help being mean to him. If that makes any sense at all (smiles) thanks again for the review! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Vashs-daughter**: Thank you so much! I hope you continue to enjoy this story! And save some sugar for me (smile)

**Starcat1**: Thank you so much! No worries they will, but in good time! Thanks again, please enjoy this chapter!

**little-princess**: Thank you so much for the review! And I'll take my cookie now (laughs) double chocolate chip please! I don't what to spoil the scene with Trowa so you're just going to have to read, as for Relena no worries about Luc, she already dumped him…I think it was back in "A Void That Can't be Filled" Thank you so much for reading! And I can't wait for my cookie (bounces in anticipation) Thanks again!

**Sakura Blossom-Cilla-85:P**: How high are your hopes right now? Not to too high I hope, but we are getting closer so they will be able to rise soon (smiles) thanks for the review!

**Kalorna Enera**: Ick! I don't like s'mores, they have marshmallow in them (shuddrers) I'll take a nice warm double chocolate chip cookie please (smiles) Thanks, I don't really remember when I first conceived of John's character, I do know that he was originally called Erik…but the name didn't fit with the intended character. Thanks again for the review!

**review**: thank you very much for the review! and not to worry about any gapping holes in my plot, a good deal of what you are concerned about hasn't even begun to be covered. I don't think it will be as hard as you think to bring Heero and Relena back together, no mistakes they aren't simply going to pick up where they left off. But Relena already came to terms with her feelings towards Heero, I believe it was in "A Void That Can't be Filled". Where Relena came to realise that she would never be able to fully hate Heero, there had just been too much between them. As for Heero's reactions around the others, He doesn't blame them for what they have done, but also none of them have directly tortured him. A lot of his emotional scares will be in effect to what Luc has done, and will be dealt with in time. I've always seen Heero as a strong character, and since he doesn't blame the pilots I can't see him being jumpy around them, perhaps a little more the other way around, they're are carrying a great deal of guilt with them. I assure you there will be no copping out at the end of this story (laugh) if we ever actually make it there! I can't begin to tell you how far away it is (smiles) Thank you again! I'm glad you are enjoying my story!

**Disclaimer**: Believe me I don't own Gundam Wing…wish I did though, but you know what they say, 'If wishes were fishes…'

**The Only Man to Ever Break Heero Yuy**

Heero's eyes stared into the distance without any real interest, it was difficult to focus on anything specific considering how he was feeling. His head had begun to pound in time with his heart several hours ago, but he had refused to ask for something for it. Heero was determined to make it through the night, but the damned fever was slowly wearing away at his resolve. The heat was nothing he couldn't live with, it was the cold, and shivering that came with it, that threatened to bring the former pilot down. Every injury came alive with each tiny jerk of his body, and it was almost as if Luc were once more in the room having his fun.

John was by his side through it all, a rather silent presence now, but a presence welcomed nonetheless. There was something about the old doctor that allowed him to do what no one else, save a very small group, had ever been able to do. A group that he had once considered family, a group of which he was no longer a part. Heero pulled his thoughts to a sudden halt, realising the falsehood of his previous thought, there was another person who had been able to reach him; Ash, a creatively stubborn man, who had insisted on being with him through every difficult time. What set these men apart form the rest? No doubt it was their individual bold natures, and perhaps not truly knowing who he really was hadn't hurt.

The moment John lay his hand upon Heero's shoulder, the former pilot turned his gaze towards the old doctor. John offered him a smile before his fingers of his free hand brushed across Heero's forehead, as they had been doing at various times since the fever had first made its appearance. At any other time Heero knew such a gesture would annoy him, no matter who did it, but at the moment he could have cared less. He was having a hard time thinking clearly, to even remember how long he had been here, Heero was positive that he had been unconscious when he arrived. Which meant when Sally came down, it would be the first time in over three years that he had seen her.

That thought sent anticipation and dread coursing through his veins in turns. Would she let him speak? Could he tell her the truth of everything that happened? It was something he couldn't stop himself from hoping for. If anyone would send the information back to the others it would be Sally. However he doubted she could not be aware of Luc's little games. And the fact that she would knowingly let that happen, told Heero—however much he didn't want to believe it—that Sally—like the others—wouldn't be willing to listen to what a 'traitor' had to say. Had Heero the strength, he might had attempted to tell John the truth of his life. Yet Heero knew without needing proof, that were he to tell John everything, and the good doctor to tell the others, they would not be inclined to believe. Heero was beginning to doubt very much, that anything might be able to make them see now.

The door at the far end of the room opened, just as John had opened his mouth to speak, both of their gazes turned to look in that direction, and Heero knew neither was pleased with what they saw. Luc strode through the doorway a sneer plastered on his face, and he seemed almost ready to whistle a tune. Heero sensed John's entire body going rigid at the sight of the younger doctor. "What are you doing here?" he demanded not even bothering to try and conceal the contempt from his voice.

Luc came to a halt, his features set in a high and mighty expression, "Sally called me in, I'm to assist her with _him_," he made a disinterested gesture Heero's way as he continued across the room. It was perhaps the only time in Heero's recollection that the man had passed below his feet, yet still Heero felt like jerking away. The realisation that that was his reaction to Luc's proximity, made Heero's anger boil, but it couldn't do more than that. There were no options opened to him in this situation.

"After all you've done, how can I believe you'll actually help him?!" John threw back as he took a step closer to the table Heero was strapped to.

The second doctor halted just as he came to the counters on the other side of the room, and he half turned fixing John with an evil grin. "That's really not your concern any longer, now is it?" he began rummaging through the cabinets pulling out various items and tools, before he began preparing a syringe. "Oh, and John?" Luc fixed one eye on the older doctor as his hands worked at filling the syringe, "As a reward for all your hard work, Sally's sending you home early today."

Heero could feel his frustration build at being held back to little more than a bystander in all this. Any and all thoughts of sleep had fled from Heero's mind the moment Luc walked in, suddenly his mind made altogether too wary, at the doctor's eager presence. "You can't honestly expect me to leave this boy alone with you!" John's voice was incredulous.

"Why not?" Luc asked back his preparations on the syringe complete, "You have every other night."

"I hadn't realised there was no limit to how low you could sink!" the old doctor bristled with anger.

Luc smirked in a truly disturbing way, as he crossed the short distance to Heero's right side. And in one smooth motion, plunged the syringe into the injured pilots arm, injecting its unknown substance into Heero's bloodstream.

"What the hell was that?!" John demanded.

"Just something to keep him from struggling," Luc's voice sounded lazy, as though he were relaxing in the sun with a good book, doing something he really enjoyed. It was a needless blow, Heero already knew even if he had wanted to move, he would have been hard-pressed to do so. His muscles had atrophied, and without a lot of work, he doubted he'd even be able to bring his hand to his face. So why then had Luc needed to at the drug into the equation? "Sally doesn't want any trouble from him."

John's face had gone red with rage at the other doctor's flippant statements; "He couldn't even if he wanted to! There's no point to any of this except to humiliate him!"

"Be that as it may, I'm not about to take any chances with _this_ traitor," Sally's voice broke through the tension with a razor sharp anger, as she walked into the room looking none too pleased about being there.

Heero forced his eyes to focus upon her face, looking to see the changes that three years had wrought upon her. Sure, he had seen her on the news on one or more occasions, and through security surveillance, but nothing could really compare to seeing her in the flesh. Her eyes appeared harder to Heero now. Whether this was the norm or a defensive barrier up because she had been forced to come and see him, Heero couldn't be sure. Sally had walked several steps into the room, and then halted not seeming to want to walk any further. And Heero could feel her eyes upon him, but it was a gaze that never reached his face, and felt as though it didn't even really see him. What she was seeing Heero didn't think he wanted to know.

"This isn't what I had in mind when I asked you to come down here," John spoke finally his voice having regained a measure of calm.

"As I recall you never really asked me down here, John" Sally replied folding her arms across her chest, "Now if you don't mind, we have a lot of work to do, and I'm sure you're tired." The last almost sounded to Heero like she was truly concerned about the older doctor's wellbeing, something that fit with the 'Sally' he had once known, but did not quite mesh with what he was witness to now.

John hesitated for a moment, his hand still upon Heero's shoulder, gently squeezing it as though he were trying to impart a measure of reassurance to the former pilot. Heero turned his eyes towards the older doctor, there was no avoiding what was to come, and though he appreciated all that John had done for him thus far, why delay something that could not be stopped? John's features looked truly torn as he stared down at Heero, but finally he nodded his head, and stepped away from the table. Heero watched as he gathered together all that he had brought with him, and slowly walked from the room, casting one last glance Heero's way before the door slid closed.

The moment the click of the lock sounded through the opened room, the entire feel of the air changed, becoming oppressive and dark. Heero felt trapped, far beyond the straps that held him to the table, but now deep within his body, he was held prisoner by whatever drug Luc had given him. He was little more than a bystander as the two doctors set to work, and that complete inability to function scared him more than he would have ever like to admit. For a time it seemed to Heero as though he had been completely forgotten by the two doctors as they busied themselves on the far side of the room preparing everything they'd need to treat his numerous wounds.

At the thought of his injuries, Heero took a moment to look himself over, at least as much as he could in his present position. He had been able to feel the various stabbing pains, and persistent burning, but it had all melded together into one, and he had never really thought before to try and distinguish them all. However, Heero found as he tried to look himself over, he was met with blood at every turn, and it was nearly impossible for him to tell what was injury. Through the corner of his right eye Heero watched Sally and Luc warily. He did not in the least bit like how vulnerable he felt at that moment. And for the first time Heero allowed himself to understand just how hopeless his situation was, everything about this scenario told Heero that Sally was not about to listen to anything he had to say, it was almost as if she didn't even see him there.

Heero tried to steady his breathing as the two doctors finally made their way back over to him, all of their preparations clearly having been completed. Sally and Luc both wheeled small carts laden with their supplies towards him. Luc stopped at Heero's right leg, while Sally made her way over to his left side, choosing the shortest route, behind the injured pilot's head. The fact that it was someone Heero knew and once trusted with his life made it a little easier for him to handle, but he still would have preferred they stay in sight. Heero attempted to do his best to divide his attention between the two of them, but his mind—clouded as it was with both pain and fever—was having a difficult time of it.

The little pops of the snaps that lined Heero's pants drew his attention to his right side, where Luc was tearing the pant leg open in one quick motion. Heero couldn't very well see what it was that the doctor had exposed, but he knew his right leg was a source of a good deal of the pain he was feeling, and had been a target of Luc's torture. It was not long before that same popping sound came from Heero's left, and he tried to jerk away from it, but of course was completely unable to move. Sally had taken hold of the waistband and pulled it apart so she could fold the front of the pants down away from Heero's pelvis. He tired to raise his head to see what it was that Sally was trying to do, but it was a futile effort. Looking into Sally's eyes Heero wanted to shudder, she was not seeing a person, only an object, a thing that she wished didn't even exist.

Searing pain was the next thing Heero's mind registered, as Luc began working away the field dressing that had covered the gash in his leg with hot water and a none-too-gentle touch. Sally also began working at the wad of cloth that had become next best thing to fuse with Heero's pelvis. For a time there was only silence in the room, broken by Heero's hissed breaths. Neither Sally nor Luc had anything to discus as they worked over him, as though he were little more than a broken piece of furniture. It shocked Heero that Sally could be so distant from him, that she could truly appear not to care. However he had never seen her thrown into a situation like this before, so he didn't really have anything to base his opinion on.

A gasp escaped him as a disinfectant was poured over the open gash in Heero's leg, and he thought he saw Luc smirk at the reaction. Heero really would have liked nothing more than to drop his consciousness away from what was happening around him, at least far enough that he wouldn't feel the pain. However as he was, Heero didn't think he'd be able to stop himself from fully plunging into the black abyss, so he held himself back. "There may be a break in his femur, Sally" Luc commented with disinterest, as he began working at stitching the gash.

"Doesn't matter for now," Sally shrugged it off, and Heero was suddenly reminded of times when he and the other pilots had attempted to hide injuries from her. Nothing as significant as a broken leg, but she had hounded them relentlessly until they allowed her to treat whatever was wrong. It had almost become a game, as each pilot tried to conceal their injuries, while the others subtly gave hints in Sally's direction, knowing that someone else would do the same to them in a heart beat. To now have Sally disregard a potential broken leg just slammed home for Heero how far outside his former group of friends he had fallen. Perhaps considering the condition he had been left in for so long, that point should have been clear a good deal earlier, but Heero's mind was always trying to hold out just a little longer on that tiny flame of hope.

Heero watched them through his peripherals, head back and eyes focused on the ceiling. He could not bring himself to close his eyes, but he didn't exactly want to watch them either, it hurt too much to see that look in Sally's eyes. She had obviously been forced to come here, and tend to him, and Heero wondered how long he would have been left like this if John had not intervened. Would they have let his injuries take his life? Or would they finally find a way to come down and take it themselves? Out of the two options Heero knew he'd like the second more than the first, if it had to be that way. He would like to be able to see everyone one last time, before he passed on, it didn't matter to him if it was hatred he saw in their eyes, he just wanted to see them.

"You almost done there Sally?" Luc questioned suddenly, while tapping a thick bandaged over the length of the now stitched gash.

"Almost…" she replied sounding distracted as her hands expertly cut the thread of the stitch she had been working on, and started on the next. "Why what do you need?" Heero's skin was twitching with both the pain, and the nearness of these unwanted hands.

"The puncture wound, I could use some assistance with it," he told her moving towards the specified injury, this put Luc more into Heero's line of sight, and the male doctor sneered in absolute delight. Forced to wait for Sally to complete her task, Luc busied himself with cutting away the blood stained shirt that clothed Heero's upper half. As more and more of his flesh was becoming exposed to the cool air of the room, the Japanese man found shivers running up and down his body, no matter how he tried to stop them. Because of this his breathing became shaky, which only caused further pain to bloom within his chest.

Pain lanced up Heero's arm as Luc released his wrist from the restraint and took hold of the limb right below the break. Try as he might to keep his mind focused, Heero's vision began to grey out, and an almost blissful numbness overwhelmed his body. He was not completely separated from what was happening; he could still feel each stab of pain, each shift of his broken body. Sweat was beading on his face falling into his eyes, but he couldn't feel the sting he knew it should have caused. Heero could feel the swirling void open out beneath him, and for once it was calling to him, and he almost thought to give in, to willingly throw himself to the blackness. However something jerked him back to the present, and the both physical and mental pain that awaited.

Both his arms had been freed from the table's restraints, and Luc was hauling him up to a near sitting position. Heero's eyes squeezed shut against the sudden strain that this put upon his ribs, he couldn't even find the means to draw a breath of air. Slowly the agony receded as Luc readjusted his grip upon Heero, using more of his body to support the injured man rather than simply holding up Heero's arms and letting the rest of him hang. His lungs, burning with his need for air, Heero drew a shallow breath, and forced his eyes to open. Head hanging Heero looked through the very edges of his eyes to see all that had been done to him, in the time he had faded out.

His shirt had been removed, leaving exposed skin to pebble in the cool air as shivers ran down his spin. Glancing to his right Heero noted tiredly that his arm had been fully taken care of. Clean white bandages encircled his upper arm while a plastic brace held his broken bone in place on the lower part. Heero had not been aware that he had lost so much time, when he had faded out, but—he decided—any of this lost was a good thing.

Hands upon his damaged ribcage brought Heero fully back to the present. His eyes focused in on Sally who was bent before him, both hands slowly working a Tensor bandage around his torso. Heero bit the inside of his cheek as Sally pressed each rib back into its place before pulling the bandage tightly over it. Slowly she worked her way up, taking her time, not caring in the least for the pain she was causing. At another time, before all this hatred had been cultivated, Sally would have taken just as much time when binding his ribs, but without the malice it was different. Before she had used the time as a strange form of punishment for ever having allowed himself to get hurt in the first place. Now it felt like something beyond that, something far more sinister, and he would have given anything to see its end.

Finishing with a deliberately slow hand Sally secured the bandage in place and stepped back motioning without a word for Luc to lower him back to the table. Heero watched through lidded eyes, a curtain of pain having draped itself over his mind at the aggravation of all his wounds. His tired mind could only think of one thing to compare what he was feeling too, and that was when he had self-destructed Wing all those years back. He tried to blink away some of the numbness that felt like it was fogging his head, but was met with no success. He was distantly surprised that the pain he had been put through had not been enough to pull him down into the blackness.

Heero thought he might have seen Luc's lips move, but if the doctor had actually spoke, Heero was unable to hear him. However he did see Sally's head nod once in response, and suddenly he wanted to know what it was they had agreed upon. He was feeling severely disadvantaged, being unable to move, and now even hear. To be treated as little more than a thing cut him deeply, in a way he had never expected it to, and suddenly he wanted Sally to leave, feeling as though it would have been better had she not come to him. It was not as if anything had been accomplished by her presence besides furthering his pain. She was not the Sally he had once known, she was the by-product of three years of cultivated bitterness, hatred and misunderstanding. He could not actually expect anything else from her, but that didn't lessen the pain it all caused, and it was harder to force away than the physical.

Heero was yanked back to the present when he felt hands upon his ankles as Sally and Luc released the restraints upon them. His mind screamed at him, but his muscled little more than jerked in response. Whatever Luc had given him it was still working well, he was completely lacking control. Without any obvious hesitation they stripped Heero's last defence from his body, the popping of snaps came quickly and with it a chilled breeze as the last of Heero's flesh was exposed. Sally tore the bloodied and torn pants from the wounded man's body, leaving him naked and vulnerable. Heero wanted to shut away this nightmare but he wouldn't allow them the satisfaction, he merely focused his eyes upon the ceiling as he had been doing earlier, and tried not to think about himself.

It was not that Heero cared for his modesty; that had never been an issue for him since his training for the war. Modesty had almost been trained out of him, as the men in control of his life back then saw it to be a hindrance. It was something else entirely that was biting deeply into Heero, the sense that his last line of defence had been taken from him, that he no longer possessed of shred of armour and he was under attack. He felt weak and altogether too vulnerable, and he hated himself for letting these feelings affect him. Heero wished now that he had accepted John's offer of a painkiller sometime during the night, but that thought only fuelled Heero's self hatred.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity Sally and Luc began to dress Heero as though he were little more than a doll. Pants basically identical to the ones he had been stripped off were slowly drawn up his body, the snaps hanging opened to be closed once everything was in place. Heero hoped they were almost through, and would leave him unattended as they had before. But he doubted after all the bad luck he had been met with that it was going to change anytime soon. He almost wanted to breathe a sigh of relief when he felt the heavy duty straps being secured over his ankles.

He lay there motionless for several minutes, breathing shallowly against the new bindings over his ribs, and willing the aggravated pain to recede. As Sally and Luc appeared to be done, the pain did slowly begin to ebb, now lacking anything to fuel it. Heero found his hearing came back to him as the moments passed, and he let his head drop to the side so he could better see Sally and Luc where they stood off to his left.

Sally stood arms crossed beneath her chest, and he gaze focused away from where Heero lay, her stance just seethed with disgust. "Give him a few moments to recover, and then send them in…" Heero's tired mind heard her words but could not seem to reconcile the threatening tone of her voice with what he hoped the words were to mean. Who was it she was speaking of? Could it be he might be finally given a chance to see the pilots and explain what happened? Heero tried to fight back the hope that was blooming within him, the small rational portion of his brain—far outweighed by the pain and exhaustion—tried to show him the truth of Sally's words to prepare him for the worst.

"Who have you chosen?" Luc questions his voice and expression appearing to be at odds with one another. His face held and eager glow that sent an unwelcome shiver running down Heero's spine, while Luc's tone sounded almost disappointed.

Sally pulled a hand down her face before answering, "Garrison and Josh, they're the best we have at the moment."

One of those names sparked something in Heero's mind, he had heard it before, but where? He tried his hardest to think back but it was not easy, the name kept ringing out in his mind telling him he should know it, so why could he not remember? Had he worked with one of them shortly before this whole mess began? That seemed to be the most familiar…Garrison…that's who he had worked with. And suddenly Luc's previous disappointment became all to clear for Heero. The man was an interrogator, and a damn good one at that. Heero could only assume Josh was the same. This day was not about to get any better…

"Where are you going?" Heero was suddenly pulled back to the here and now, when Luc called back after Sally's retreating back.

"To my room," she replied tiredly without stopping, "I need to wash myself of this event…" Heero felt as though he had been punched in the gut at that blatant statement, he doubted though any of his reaction made it to his face. Slowly Heero was beginning his retreat into a protected part of him mind, where he might just be able to ride out the rest of his life in relative peace.

When the door had closed behind Sally's back, Luc turned his full attention back Heero's way, as he stood a pace or so away from the bed, simply contemplating the wounded pilot. Heero was not all that sure how long Luc stood there, as the seconds dragged into minutes, and for all he could tell they made their way to hours. But finally Luc nodded to himself and following in Sally's invisible footsteps he too made his way to the door. For a few blessed moments Heero was left alone, he thought perhaps he should make an attempt to gather himself, so that he might be prepared for what was to come, but he just couldn't see the point in it any more.

The door opened and two men in uniforms walked through. The first thing Heero took note of was the fact that Luc was not present with them. Had that been agreed upon? Or was Luc on the other side of the door, banging his fists in frustration at being kept away from Heero's pain. Heero hoped it was the latter.

The two men, almost exact opposites in height and build slowly made their way towards him. Garrison, the shorter of the two men with a very stocky build, Heero recognised almost immediately. The other, Josh was a taller man slender in build, but no less tough. It was clear to Heero's eyes that both these men could withstand a strong beating and also deal one out. They carried no equipment with them, but that was really no surprise to Heero. The life of an interrogator was not an easy one, these men were trained to make the toughest men crack by various means. Whether it be mental, physical or physiological, they learned their target's weaknesses and used them against them. In an era of peace most people weren't even aware of these men's existences; they were blissfully unaware and wanted to keep it that way. There had been a great deal of controversy over the training of interrogators, as some of their tactics could be looked upon as less than humane, but they were here, and had helped to secure the peace on more than one occasion.

Considering his condition, their lack of equipment was not surprising. They could not risk using drugs on him, and Luc had already attempted some of their other tactics, though lacking a good deal of their skill. What did that leave? Heero expected pain, but he wondered how far they'd push him, and if he honestly answered the questions would any of what he said make it back to the pilots? Ideally Heero really wanted to be speaking directly to one of the pilots; Wufei, he thought, might be the most receptive to what he had to say. But he doubted that was a viable possibility.

By now the distance had been closed and Heero found one man on either side of him, standing near to his waist, the closeness of their presence a threat in itself. They were of course in no rush, and Heero wondered how long they had been preparing for this. And what this whole situation meant for them. It was not every day that you were given the chance to interrogate a former Gundam pilot, and if you could actually managed to make them break, your reputation would be set. Yet why fight this? What did he have to hide? Nothing, he had everything to gain from speaking, but the question remained would he be believed? The looks in both men's eyes warned Heero that the answer was no, yet perhaps he could work this around to his advantage.

Heero's head was throbbing, and the bright lights above him was doing nothing to ease the gnawing ache. Despite that and the roars of pain from the rest of his body, Heero tried to think to prepare himself. These men did not let the silence linger for long, they knew intimidation wouldn't work on a former pilot, they'd have to use other tactics.

:::::::::::

Quatre pulled a hand down his face as he entered his private quarters that had been the central place he called home before he had been elected President. It had been a long day to say the very least, and he found these debates to be more taxing upon his strength—both emotional and physical—than any of the peace talks had ever hoped to be. But they weren't left with any other options at the moment, this problem had to be solved, and solved in a way that not only satisfied but was legal. A tall order to fill if ever Quatre had seen one.

Sighing in defeat Quatre pushed himself off the door and walked deeper into his rooms. He did not know how much longer he'd be able to stretch the length of his visit here on earth. He and Zechs had almost wrapped up all the honest business that was needed. After that Quatre knew he was going to have to return to the colonies and content himself with continuing the discussion from afar. But being so far off gave Quatre the feeling that what he had to offer was somehow less important, or perhaps not as informed as the ones down on earth with the Traitor.

It occurred to Quatre then that he had not even seen Heero since he had arrived on earth. He had been given a very sparse brief on Heero's condition but that was about all he had been told. At first Quatre had been satisfied with that answer; he had not really wanted to see Heero after all these years, feeling it was best just to come to a conclusion and put this matter behind all of them. However the more Quatre was forced to think on this matter the more he came to realise that he really did want to see with his own eyes the man who had taken a part of all their lives and shattered it.

Pacing the length of his small living room, Quatre raked a hand through his soft blond hair, wondering if he should act on this sudden inclination and go down to see Heero himself. What harm could it do? Quatre found that his pacing had stopped, and he stood in the middle of the room staring at the closed door. He wanted to know why his body was hesitating, this something he had wanted to do for years, to once more see the man who had betrayed them all. Clenching his fist in determination Quatre closed the distance to the door in three long strides.

It didn't surprise him that the hall outside his room was completely empty, it was a restricted area, open to no one other than the pilots, Relena, Sally, Une and Zechs. It was one of the few places that Quatre was able to walk without his security guards following along behind him. Of course despite the security of the agency his bodyguards were not all to pleased with the current situation, but this was one matter that Quatre refused to give ground on. Striding confidently down the hall towards the elevator that would carry him to the more common floors of the agency, Quatre couldn't stop his eyes from roving over the door that had once been Heero's room. None of them had been in there, after their initial investigation had turned up no clues as to why Heero had betrayed them all. It was a painful reminded of better times.

Quatre stepped into the waiting elevator while trying to force those memories away, back to the dark corner of his mind where they had been held all this time. He doubted very much that he'd be able to make them stay, once he was standing facing the very man they revolved around. The ride down was quick and Quatre stepped off without a word to either of his guards. Hesitating a moment Quatre tried to decide which path would be best to take. It wasn't that he feared being seen by the general staff of the agency, yet at the same time he wanted to avoid more public areas. That decided, Quatre moved off down a side hall.

::::::::::::

"The rules are simple," Garrison began, looking over Heero's form; his eyes hooded, revealing nothing. "Tell us what we want to hear, and something may be awarded to you, refuse…" he trailed off eyes flickering to his partner.

"And something _will_ be taken from you," Josh finished voice as harsh as death.

Heero resisted the urge to ask them what they could possibly take. Instead he watched them in silence; not sure if he'd be able to speak even if he truly wanted to. They pressed in closer, if that was possible, looming over him hands hovering close to his vulnerable sides. Heero gave no outward reaction to this silent threat,. He had nothing to hide from them but at the same time this was not the best situation to reveal what had been kept hidden for three years.

"You've made a great deal of enemies over the years," Garrison drawled, his voice sounding relaxed, even when his stance remained threatening. Heero supposed the combination might have appeared unnerving to one other than himself. "They want to know why you tried to kill Relena."

Internally Heero felt himself flinch as the memory of that day was brought back into sharp focus, and he remember everything that had flown through him at that moment. Everything he had watched fall away, all for the sake of the peace. Was this…was what he suffered now a way of making amends for what he had put all of them through?

"Personally, I'd like to know why you missed," the taller man cut through the brief silence. "I've read your file Yuy, you're an expert marksman," Josh casually rested a hand upon the table, leaning just a little closer. Heero was uncomfortable with the invasion of his space, but he continued to silently watch. "So why'd you miss?"

"…didn't…" the word slipped from Heero's mouth in a croak before he had even realised it had entered his mind.

Both men's eyes locked upon each other at that statement, but an instant later they were locked upon him once more, and this time with more intensity. "What the hell do you mean by that?" Garrison pressed, a hopeful glint in the very back of his eyes, at having received any information from the former pilot.

Heero ignored the question, and in the silence that followed the door to the room slid opened causing all eyes to turn, two pairs in outrage at having been interrupted, and the last with a forced curiosity. The shadow in the doorway quickly materialised into a form Heero knew all to well, and suddenly his curiosity was no longer forced. Quatre took one step into the room surveying it with hard eyes, and Heero felt his hopes soar. If any of the pilots was likely to listen to him it would be Quatre. But as with so many other times of late for Heero, reality came crashing in. He had not come here to listen, only to see for himself the Traitor.

Quatre did not move any closer, and he did not open his mouth to speak, his presence within the room was not even enough to warrant a comment from Heero's interrogators. No sooner had he entered, with an iron resolve clear upon his features than he left, with a look of disgust deep in his crystal blue eyes. The door slid closed its lock resounding through the silent room, and Heero felt the walls close in around him. If that brief moment had effect either of the men standing over him they no longer showed it; it was purely back to business.

The true weight of the situation Heero was in, was now beginning to sink in, as the last little hopes he had held onto were being extinguished. If not even Quatre would hear him out was there really any point in holding on any longer? There was a great black abyss beneath Heero that he was fighting not to fall into, and for what? To withstand torture while his friends watched and did nothing to stop it? It wasn't worth the pain, not any more. Yet there was still one thing that forced Heero to keep hold and not give in, the fear that they might discover the truth once he was gone. That wasn't something he wanted, and if keeping them from that pain meant outlasting this existence, Heero would hold himself, and watch for any opportunities to come along.

Heero was vaguely aware that Garrison or Josh was speaking to him again, but his thoughts were turned to inward to really notice which it was, or even what was said. The slightest glint of an idea had entered his mind, perhaps he might be able to bring one of the pilots down here specifically to hear him out. If only he could get a message to them. "…will…speak to…one…of them…" Heero struggled to get the words out, his voice barely discernible, as a dry cough took the wind from him.

When Heero was able to open his eyes as the pain receded, he found Garrison leaning in towards him, as though to better catch what he might say next. "Who's them?"

"Trowa…" the name slipped from his tongue with a gasp, considering Quatre's reaction—as shocking as it was—he didn't think choosing him would anything accomplished. Besides his fevered mind had locked itself upon one specific memory, that might very well make Trowa see this situation in a more understanding light. It was all he had to work with now.

"You're not really in a position to be making demands right now," Josh hissed darkly.

Garrison on the other hand appeared intrigued by where this was going, "You'll speak to Trowa?" he questioned, more of a muse to himself.

"Garrison you're not actually considering this are you?" the taller man straightened to his full height, becoming a more opposing figure, though now it was directed at his partner.

The other man just glanced briefly at Josh before returning his attention back to Heero, "Why Trowa? We were sent here by him to speak to you. Don't you think if he wanted to be the one here he would have been?" Heero made no effort to respond to his questions, only continued to watch through partially closed eyes. "Tell me what you have to say and I'll bring it to Trowa."

Heero gave his head the slightest of shakes, "…won't understand…" he rasped, "Trowa…will." It took so much effort to speak Heero wasn't sure if he managed to pull this off, and Trowa was brought to him that he'd actually be able to tell the former pilot what he wanted to say.

"This is ridiculous!" Josh fumed, bending nearly double to be right in Heero's face, "Tell us what you know! Why did you shoot Relena? Who the hell are you working for?!"

"Tell…him…" Heero was forced to pause to ease his breathing, eyes watching Garrison, or at least as much of him as he could see with Josh so close. "…about time… be..fore…Vayeate… was…" swallowing hard Heero forced himself to get the last word out, "…finished."

"What the hell does that mean?!" Josh was out of Heero's face and staring down his partner.

Garrison shrugged, straightening to his full height almost half that of Josh's, his face contemplative. "I suppose it'll mean something to Trowa…"

Josh shook his head in utter disbelief, "I can't believe this! Since when have we ever done what the 'target' wanted?"

"What do we have to lose?" Garrison's expression was still thoughtful as he relaxed back onto one leg, "He's volunteering to speak." His brown eyes fixed onto Heero, "I'll bring your message to Trowa, but if he chooses not to come, you're speaking to us."

Heero gave no response, feeling no need to tell them that if Trowa didn't come—as unlikely as that seemed—he wouldn't be talking at all. Josh didn't seem in any way ready to back down from this fight, but it appeared that Garrison being the more experienced interrogator was therefore the one to call the shots. Watching in silence as the men left the room, Heero internally breathed a sigh of relief, glad to be alone, given a moment of peace where he was not being threatened. For the first time that day since John had been forced to leave, Heero found himself actually relaxing, his body going limp relieving some of the pain he had been struggling with.

The silence in the room was absolute leaving Heero nothing to do but try without much success to predict the path his meeting with Trowa would have. He did not want to get his hopes up considering the way they had been torn from beneath him so many times already. But despite his best efforts they continued to climb the more he considered his choices, and what his message would hopefully convey to Trowa. During the war Trowa had switched sides without warning them of his plans, and Heero had trusted his judgement, he only hoped he might be able to get Trowa to see matters in the same light.

Thinking on that subject Heero also noted that Wufei had worked in much the same way, however his taking of the other side had not been to benefit the efforts for peace. He had truly thought the redirect of Mariemaia to be the right course. But that didn't matter he had asked for Trowa, and if he couldn't get him to listen there wasn't any point in holding on any longer. Heero knew he wouldn't be given another chance.

No longer really aware of the passage of time, Heero couldn't even begin to guess how much time had passed since the interrogators had left. He didn't think it could be all that much longer now for them to return or for Trowa to come walking through that door. This would be the first time in three years that Heero had been able to come face to face with the former pilot of Heavyarms. Just thinking of it in that way caused Heero's hopes to rise. He tired to use this time to recover some of his strength, so that when Trowa did appear, he'd actually be able to talk.

The metallic _clink_ of the lock giving way rang out through the silence of the room announcing the presence of someone before the door even began to slide open. Heero found himself holding his breath, and not simply because it hurt to breathe. In his anticipation it seemed to Heero as though the door was taking and amazing amount of time open the way to whoever was standing on the other side, though he knew it was only a matter of a few brief heartbeats before Trowa was standing upon the threshold of the room, cold green eyes staring inward.

Trowa stepped deeper into the room, face an unreadable mask as he came to stand within a few feet of the table Heero was strapped too. The injured pilot felt shivers of anticipation course over his body, as he waited in the tense silence for the right opening. Trowa was here but that was only the beginning.

"What is it you want?" Trowa began his voice as emotionless as Heero had ever remembered it. "Are you trying to tell me you'll surrender? Because we're a little past that now."

The hidden tone of his voice had Heero a little worried, but there was no turning back now, there was nothing to return too. "I trusted…you…enough…then…to…sur…render…" another dry cough tore through Heero's already parched throat and he could not continue for several minutes. "…trust…me…now?"

There was no hesitation to Trowa's answer, and nothing on his face changed as he spoke just a single word "No."

The effect of that single word hit Heero in a way he had not been prepared for, no matter how he had tried he had been sure Trowa would hear him out. Now to have it thrown fully into his face Heero didn't know what there was left to hope for out of his merger existence. But the former pilot was not yet finished. "Do you think for one minute after what you've done that you deserve any sort of mercy from us? Do you even realise what you've done to Relena? You nearly destroyed her life that day! The only thing you can do for us now is die, and end this chapter in all our lives." The last of that was said as Trowa turned back towards the door.

Heero was stunned, at the intensity Trowa had managed to give off without raising his voice, and he words struck Heero to his very core. A warm wetness tracked its way down the right side of Heero's face, but he could not bring himself to think on it any more that just a passing thought. Trowa was right, there was nothing left for Heero, neither to say or hope for, his old life was gone, and it was clear there would be no returning to it. The blackness called to him, and Heero welcomed its void. He no longer cared what happened to him at the hands of Luc or the interrogators, whether they came in and killed him in the next minute or hours, nothing matter any more. Everything had been taken from him. Yet through it all Heero forced himself to remember, that this was his choice, and in the end it was his hand that brought this upon himself.

Heero let himself fall into the waiting blackness, no longer able to see the room around him or feel the pain that assaulted him every waking moment. His eyes remained opened, though lacking the light of conscious thought. He did not blink or respond to outside sources, he was hidden away in the last safe place, awaiting the end he knew would be coming soon.

Thanks for Reading!

**Picking Up the Pieces**:

Heero blinked several times, staring at John's face, was he actually being given the chance to speak? To tell his side of the story? What truly happened. It was almost too much to hope for, and Heero wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to take the chance, what difference would it make? Could John do anything to effect change? Heero had not been expecting to be given this opportunity he hadn't even been expecting to wake again. He had allowed himself to fall into a place only Relena had ever managed to pull him out from, so why had he fallen into that dream? And then allowed himself to wake when John had called out his name?

He didn't possess any of the answers to his questions, but looking at John now, Heero saw the outlet to what he was feeling. To the burden he had carried alone for too long, John was a man he could trust, Heero had known that from the moment he had first met him. There was just something about the old man, that relaxed Heero's warrior instincts allowing him to feel truly at ease, something he had only been able to feel while around the pilots and Relena. He took a moment to gather himself before he tired to speak, there was just so much to say, and though he had been envisioning this moment for a long time, he still found himself caught unprepared.

"Had to…make them believe…" he began finally looking to John's face briefly before glancing at the water in his hand. John picked up on the subtle request immediately, and Heero allowed the cool refreshing water to trickle down the back of his throat, putting out the fire that raged there.

"What do you mean Heero?" John's face looked more than a little perplexed.

"I…would never…shoot her…" it frustrated Heero that he couldn't speak without nearly gasping for breath, but he continued despite the pain and seemingly daunting task of making the old doctor understand. "Inner Circle…they're a group…who…" Heero's words were ripped from him with a dry painful cough.

"Want to destroy the peace?" John supplied clearly hoping to help.

"Something…like that…" the former pilot spoke when at last he could breath again.

John's eye brows raised at that, "Why have I never heard of them before?"

"Not like…most…groups, they…scarifies…speed for secrecy…" they had been able to slip under the radar as little more than a fleeting rumour, all the while gaining strength and power.

The old doctor seemed to be really mulling over this, "So you wanted to bring them down…" it was neither a question nor statement of fact, just Johns musing gaining voice.

Heero nodded his head to what John had said, "But couldn't so long as…I was a…member of…"

"Relena's security," John finished with his eyes going wide. "Are you telling me that this was all an elaborate plan?"

"Wouldn't shoot her…" Heero reiterated

"So how then?"

Morganeth Taren'drel


	27. Picking Up the Pieces

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Well here we are again! I'm sorry again that it took me so long but I have a bunch of chapters done and they just need to be edited so I'll hopefully be a little more consistent with my post for the next little while. I really wanted to make this a double chapter with the next, but there's still a lot I have to change about the next chapter, so it'll be coming out the minute it's done. Thank you so much for your patience!!! and I hope you all enjoy!

**Thanks to both my editors!!!! Pious Knight neekabe you guys are the best!!!!**

**reiniku**: No it's true my updates do take forever, and I'm really sorry about that, but I have a bunch of chapters completed so for the next little while (fingers crossed) they'll be a little more steady. Thanks so much for the review!

**Morrighan of Crimson and Sable**: (laughs) I'm glad you're still enjoying it! Sorry about Trowa….can't remember what made me decide to do that, but believe me it will all turn out in the end! Thanks for the review!!

**Ukchana**: Thanks for the review, personally I don't see these chapters as lacking in plot, but then I'm probably biased being the author. With such a long story I have to try and keep the flow, and most of my other readers think it's progressing just fine. I'm sorry that you're no longer curious any more, as that chapter was the worst of it, things start working out for Heero after he tells John what really happened. I hope you stick with Mistaken Words for a little longer.

**Rekkaboziegirl**: It's true it only does! But I hope this chapter makes up for it!! The last chapter was evil, but it was the peek, or bottom (which ever you'd prefer) of Heero's torture. Things will be looking up now. Thanks for reviewing

**RikoRishodeathangeloflight**: Sorry for not updating, and keeping you in so much suspense, yes Heero's going to spill it all in this chapter, and things will start to get better. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and thanks for the review!

**Neko-Jenn**: Thanks so much for the review! You timed it well, things are looking better for Heero in this chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

**Squall-l-l**: I hope those last too are 'L's as well otherwise I'm sorry if I spelt it wrong (smiles) thanks so much for the review! I hope you enjoy this chapter.

**Starcat1**: Thank you so much! Sorry I made you wait so long for more!

**Shadowreader**: Yeah it's definitely going to be difficult for them to come back together as friends, but it will happen, with a lot of time, and hard work on everyone's part. Hmmm two more question eh? Well as for the first….I haven't really thought about it (laughs) I'm not even sure yet when his name might appear in the story. I know that shortly after the incident of the shooting Heero 'visited' him, I'm sure you can imagine what happened there. He followed the straight and narrow after that. I'm sure someone's going to ask Heero at some point…but right now there's just too much else on their minds. Thanks so much for the review…actually you just got me thinking, and I now know where that's going to appear! Thanks!!

**Raizard333**: Thanks for the review! As for you question, you'll find out in this chapters and the next (smiles) as it now finally comes out!

**Sakura Blossom-Cilla-85**: Trowa's going to pay for that (mentally that is) thanks for reviewing!

**Erinamation-limited2-nothing**: Hurray you're back! Sorry you had to leave off on such a down note, but here's a chapters that I hope will make up for it!! And I'll give you more as soon as I can!!! Thanks for the review!

**mieka**: Question is there one of two of you (laughs) thanks so much for the review, sorry for the long wait!

**ZeroYui**: I'm sorry it took me so long! I only hope these two make up for it, and I'm going to try and be consistent with the next few as well. Thanks so much for the review!

**Tiger Shinigami**: And your wait is now over if you can believe it! Here are the chapters I've been talking about from the beginning (laughs) took me bloodly long enough to get here didn't it? But thanks for being so patient with me, and for your reviews! Please enjoy these two chapters.

**Knives-daughter**: Pixi-sticks for one chapter eh? I'll hold you to that(laughs) thanks so much for the review, I hope this was worth the wait!

**little princess**: Thanks so much for the review! And I'm still waiting for my cookie (laughs) You see the thing about Trowa is, he wouldn't tell Wufei about Heero's trying to talk, because he doesn't want to listen, and he thinks Wufei would be influenced more so than he already is. Here's where John comes in (smiles) he'll get things done! Thanks again for the review!

**Love'sAngel**: Thank you so much for the review 2 days eh? That makes my heart smile. About my grammar there's something you should know. First English is my first language but I have a perception problem that keeps me from ever using it correctly (believe me I've had people try to explain it to me before, with no results)(laughs) Secondly I have two beta readers but as you can imagine I give then more to look for than most authors (laughs) and no ones perfect. About my over use of terms, I don't really agree that it's an over use at all. I'm very limited in terms that I can use to describe Heero, as often times I'm in the head of someone who doesn't know he was once a Gundam Pilot, so that rules out 'former pilot' and '01'. At the same time I can't just use 'he' and 'him' as that would be come all too confusing with so many people in the scenes. Thank you so much for this review and all your suggestion! I'm really glad you like this story (smiles) but the bringing home is going to take a while, I hope you'll stick with me to the end!! Thanks again!

**icy flame**: Thank you so much! Always nice to know I have patient readers, still I am sorry it took my so long to update I hope this was well worth the wait!!

**Xofia**: Thank you so much, I apologise for the lateness, I hope you continue to enjoy as the story progresses into its next arch.

**coolyoukai**: Thank you! Here's more! I hope I didn't take to long!

**merlyn1382**: Thank you for the review! I could never kill Heero…I think I might have tried in past story ideas but I just like him to much! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Kalorna Enera**: I don't think it is (laughs) I know someone who spilt a beer in theirs and it just made the keys sticky (laughs) thanks for the review!! Sorry I took so long!

**dragon agility**: Thank you so much! I'm so happy you're loving the story! We're moving towards Heero/Relena action, but it's going to take some time what with all that's happened. Woohoo a club for John!! Thanks so much again!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing

**Picking Up the Pieces**

John released a breath he had been holding for far too long as he finally entered Heero's room. Little of his day was spent feeling relief over the care Heero was finally receiving; he just couldn't shake the outrage he had felt when Luc had come in taking over. What purpose was there in making this boy's already meagre existence a further hell? It was cruel and unjust, as all of this had been since John had entered into it. Despite sleep John couldn't help but feel utterly exhausted at the whole situation. This was not what he had signed on for, but at the very same time he was at least glad that he could be there for the boy during this horrible time.

His eyes were instantly locked upon Heero's unmoving form. Fresh clothes and clean bandages were the first things John took note of as he walked over to the boy's side. His skin still looked dingy and his hair remained limp about his face, but he had not really expected Sally and Luc to pay that much attention to details, they were after all being forced to give him these basic cares. Heero no longer wore a shirt but his ribs had been carefully bound, which John was pleased to see. It wasn't as though the boy was going to be doing any major moving soon, but still best to rule out the chance of a bone turning inwards and puncturing a lung if the boy was to flinch or shift.

Heero's eyes were closed and he appeared to be sleeping soundly, something John had not been expecting when he had entered the room. He had spent his ride over trying to prepare himself for what he might find on enter the room. Luc had been getting more creative with each passing day, so to find the boy apparently unharmed allowed John to breathe yet another sigh of relief. He wanted to better see what had been done for Heero, but at the same time he didn't want to alarm the boy; he'd wake him with his touch. So he gently called out to the boy, "Heero?" he was given no response, and so he slowly reached out his hand to touch Heero on the shoulder. Receiving yet again no reaction, John moved his had to the Japanese boy's head, feeling for the fever that had been there in the morning. He could still feel an abnormal heat to the Heero's forehead, but at least it didn't seem to have risen any more.

Slowly John made his way around the boy, inspecting everything that had been done for him. Despite Sally's reluctance to assist the boy, she had still done a good job. His wounds were well looked after, and now properly bandaged, for the moment at least eliminating the chance of further infection. Finished his inspection John stood for several minutes just looking at Heero while he slept. He should have been utterly relieved to walk in for once and not have the boy jumpy with his nerves completely strung out. But he couldn't seem to shake the feeling that notwithstanding Heero's present condition something had happened, and he had a good deal of precedence to base that assumption on.

There was only one way to either prove his theory or be pleasantly surprised, and that was by checking the surveillance records for the day. Seating himself behind the desk, John cast one last look at Heero's sleeping form before focusing on the screen. Remembering the rough time that he had been forced to leave, John began his search there. Turning the volume up a little so he could better hear what was being said John continued, horrified at how callously Heero was treated. Yet considering the six days that Heero had been here, and his treatment through that time, John didn't know why anything should surprise him now. He felt his stomach drop away when the interrogators entered the room, but felt a wash of relief as nothing significant happened to the boy.

John briefly glanced away from the screen to check Heero's stats and once more give him a quick visual sweep before returning his attention to the day's unfolding events. He blinked in surprise at something tiny that flashed in the room's lights quickly before it was gone. "What was that?" John whispered searching for a better angle that he might get a closer look. Whatever it was it had come at the moment Trowa had turned his back on Heero, refusing to hear the boy out. That angered John, still he tried to see the situation from the other boy's eyes. Heero had tired to kill Relena, someone Trowa was just as responsible to protect as Heero had once been.

Looking closer John watched in stunned silence as the singular tear tracked its way down the side of Heero's face, and his eyes lost what little light they possessed. Had those words really effected Heero that much? Could have been really expecting to be hear anything different, considering the last three years? John didn't know how to feel at that moment. From the time he had been thrown into this situation, John had decided that the boy's past actions would have no effect on how he chose to treat him. All he could bring himself to see was someone in desperate need of a friendly face, someone would might actually care about his well being. And he had not problem being that very person for Heero.

Hearing a groan escape him, John made to stand and go to the boy, but couldn't seem to tear his vision from the frozen image of Heero, rejected by a former comrade.

_Heero stood, surrounded in utter blackness. It was so vast and altogether consuming that Heero's wasn't even sure he stood. As far as he could tell he might very well have been floating in a sea of nothingness, and yet Heero still had the distinct feeling that he was standing upon familiar ground. He blinked hoping to clear away the blackness that he could almost feel close in around him. Slowly it seemed to part as though drawn away like a heavy curtain, and Heero's cobalt eyes were met with a nightmare. _

_He realised instantly that he was asleep, and he wondered when he had relaxed, when he had allowed himself to pass from the prison he had enclosed himself in. But none of that really mattered now, he was here, facing the sole event in his life he feared to re-live. The auditorium fell away before him hundreds of seats positioned upon its floor so that everyone might be able to listen to the important speeches. And there he stood in one of the many balconies not in use for this day's events. The walls on either side of the auditorium slanted inwards towards the stage putting his position almost exactly behind the balcony before him, while still offering a clear view of the stage below. _

_Even in dream every detail of both the day and place that it took place were etched sharply in Heero's mind. Time would never blur the lines of what happened back then, the only time he could hope to fuzz them out a little was with the help of alcohol, something he did not have at his disposal here. Heero already knew there was no fighting this, the events of that day would play themselves out as sharply and as surely as they had three years back._

_The smooth familiar feel of his gun held tightly in his right hand caused bile to rise in the back of Heero's throat, but he forced it back. He had to do this for the good of the peace, he had to protect Relena, even if that meant severing all ties he had once held with her, shunning the love that she had given to him, no matter how it tore him up inside. Looking down over the gathering Heero singled out one blond head from numerous others, and focused long and hard upon it, willing that young man to feel his presence and look up, he needed to be seen._

_Quatre's head turned after what felt to Heero to have been an eternity, and he saw the horror in the former pilot's eyes. There was disbelief there also, and Heero hated himself for what he was about to do, even as his right arm raised showing clearly the gun he held tightly in his hand. With finger posed over the trigger Heero turned his attention back to his target, and was horrified to find no man standing in the balcony before him. Where was the assassin aiming to make a name for himself by taking Relena's life? There was no one hiding there in the shadows, thinking himself above the law, and able to accomplish what no other man had ever been able to._

_Heero realised in utter horror and self loathing that his aim true, as it had been that day, and without hesitation—his mind screaming at him to stop—Heero fired a single bullet. The blazing metal caught Relena right through the heart, and with eyes filled with fear she cast a fleeting glance his way. That single look seared Heero's entire mind and body more that the fires of hell could ever hope to. In that look was the single question…why?_

_Why after all the love and patience she had show him did he feel the need to take her life? Why with all the good that she could do for this world, did he feel she did not deserve to live? Why with the peace they had finally attained, that he himself had wanted, did he need to jeopardise all that? Just simply why?_

_There were no words to describe the agony he felt as he watched her blood pool away from her body. Slipping off the edge of the stage like tiny crimson waterfalls. Yet her eyes remained ever focused upon him, and Heero cringed at what he saw within them. It was not the love she had held for him that he watched drain away, just the beautiful and vibrant life that had touched so many hearts. She held fast to her love, to something Heero would never be worthy of, that would stab him like a thousand knives each and every time he thought of it. _

_He had taken her life, and for what?_

_That was a question he could never answer…nor face._

John tore his vision from the screen when he head a hitch form in Heero's struggling breaths, and worried now, he stepped around the monitoring stations intend on waking the boy to discover what was wrong. But he stopped himself when the dim light caught Heero's face, revealing a silvery track of tears running down the side of his face. John hadn't know the boy for all that long, but he would have never taken him for one to show his emotions through tears, and besides that from all he had seen Heero wasn't one to show emotion at all. He wondered what was effecting the boy so much…was it still Trowa's rejection?

Heero's lips parted as a hoarse whisper escaped him, it was a single name, barely heard in the silence of the room. But that one name held more pain and anguish within it than John had ever thought to hear. "…Relena…" Heero's body continued to jerk, trapped within the throws of his nightmare, while John stood unable to move, and his mind tired to comprehend what he had heard. He had been confused when Heero had told his interrogators that he hadn't missed when he shot Relena. What could he have meant by that? What did that pain in his voice mean now? John knew of only one way to find out, and that was to wake the boy and ask him.

Coming to the boy's side John gently called out his name, hoping that alone would be enough to wake him from his troubled sleep. But the boy continued to struggle, unaware of the concerned old man standing over him. It was with some reluctance that John finally reached out his hand, and placed it upon Heero's shoulder shaking the boy ever so gently to get his attention. With a start Heero's eyes slowly opened, but for a time he was not seeing what was around him. He blinked unfocused eyes slowly coming to rest on John's face, and the old doctor saw, both surprise and a muted gratitude deep within his eyes.

"Are you alright now?" John asked not removing his hand from the boy's shoulder, "You were having a bad dream…" he felt silly to be saying it, but he couldn't think of what else to say. And he didn't want to risk having the potential for a conversation disappear.

Heero spent several moments just breathing shallowly and calmly, as though he were attempting to remove the memory of what he had seen in his dream. His eyes continued to hold a surprised light to them, something John could not understand. It was almost like Heero was surprised he had awoke from his dream…

"Heero?" John's voice slowly drew the boy's cobalt eyes to his face, "Can I ask you a question?" Heero's mute nod was the only response John received, "Why did you shoot her?"

Silence was John's only answer as he stood there watching Heero's expression turn to a mask of pain, very much a visual expression of the tone in his voice earlier. His eyes fell closed and for several long seconds he didn't appear to breathe, it was like everything had suddenly stopped. John founded himself tempted to check the clock hanging on the wall, just to be sure that time was indeed still moving. Finally the boy's eyes opened once more and he looked directly at John, with such a piercing look, it seemed as though his eyes went right through.

"…I…didn't…" he rasped in a painfully dry voice.

John blinked in surprise, wondering how that could possibly be true. He didn't like to think that Heero would lie to him, but then he didn't really have much to base any sort of opinion on. He just hadn't known Heero long enough for that, but then he had been taught to always expect the best from people and not the worst. So John quickly went back to the desk, and grabbed his water bottle, "What do you mean?" he asked as he raised the boy's head so he could wet his throat with a little water.

Heero blinked several times, staring at John's face, was he actually being given the chance to speak? To tell his side of the story? It was almost too much to hope for, and Heero wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to take the chance, what difference would it make? Could John do anything to effect change? Heero had not been expecting to be given this opportunity he hadn't even been expecting to wake again. He had allowed himself to fall into a place only Relena had ever managed to pull him out from, so why had he fallen into that dream? And then allowed himself to wake when John had called out his name?

He didn't possess any of the answers to his questions, but looking at John now, Heero saw the outlet to what he was feeling; a chance to end the burden he had carried alone for too long. John was a man he could trust, Heero had known that from the moment he had first met him. There was just something about the old man, that relaxed Heero's warrior instincts allowing him to feel truly at ease, something he had only been able to feel while around the pilots and Relena. He took a moment to gather himself before he tired to speak, there was just so much to say, and though he had been envisioning this moment for a long time, he still found himself caught unprepared.

"Had to…make them believe…" he began finally looking to John's face briefly before glancing at the water in his hand. John picked up on the subtle request immediately, and Heero allowed the cool refreshing water to trickle down the back of his throat, putting out the fire that raged there.

"What do you mean Heero?" John's face looked more than a little perplexed.

"I…would never…shoot her…" it frustrated Heero that he couldn't speak without nearly gasping for breath, but he continued despite the pain and seemingly daunting task of making the old doctor understand. "Inner Circle…they're a group…who…" Heero's words were ripped from him with a dry painful cough.

"Want to destroy the peace?" John supplied clearly hoping to help.

"Something…like that…" the former pilot spoke when at last he could breath again.

John's eye brows raised at that, "Why have I never heard of them before?"

"Not like…most…groups, they…sacrifices…speed for secrecy…" they had been able to slip under the radar as little more than a fleeting rumour, all the while gaining strength and power.

The old doctor seemed to be really mulling over this, "So you wanted to bring them down…" it was neither a question nor statement of fact, just John's musings gaining voice.

Heero nodded his head to what John had said, "But couldn't so long as…I was a…member of…"

"Relena's security," John finished with his eyes going wide. "Are you telling me that this was all an elaborate plan?"

"Wouldn't shoot her…" Heero reiterated .

"So how then?"

"She's always been a target…" he was pleased to find that the longer he spoke the easier it became for him to sustain his breath while speaking. "I just shot…the man shooting her…"

"No body?" Before he'd let Heero answer he raised the bottle again so Heero could rewet his throat.

"Didn't kill him…"

John's face looked more than a little incredulous, "How could you have pulled this off? There were so many factors that you wouldn't have had any control over." He pulled a hand through his grey hair, "What about forensics?"

"All information…was lost in a…series of viruses…" Heero told him simply, from where he had been standing in relation to the assassin the trajectory of the bullets were very close. And with all the information gathered at the scene lost there was really nothing to do other than speculate. It helped a great deal that he had been identified as the shooter, and the world believed him to be guilty. With an eye witness there to put him at the scene pulling the trigger, there was little initiative to delve so deeply into the sciences.

"Why Heero? If you weren't the one to shoot her why did you insist on making them all believe you had? The world yes…but why your friends?"

"It had to be real…actors can make…mistakes" Heero sighed letting his head fall tiredly to the side.

John felt almost like staggering at the weight of what Heero had just told him, he couldn't comprehend living under such a terrible burden. And for what? To protect the peace while the only friends you had believed you a traitor. "Heero…" John wanted so desperately to say something to comfort the boy, but what could he possibly offer of use?

"It's alright…I chose to do this…"

Nothing was said after that for a long time, as John tried to bring his mind to bear all that he now knew, while Heero seemed to recover from the telling, and the relief it offered to have someone else know. It wasn't right, none of this was right! How had things got so desperately out of hand? Heero deserved to be able to explain himself, to show his one time allies that he was still worthy of their trust, that he had not betrayed them as they all believed. A small part of John's brain attempted to discredit what he had just been told, finding it all to much to believe. But what possible purpose could he have to make up such a lie? From all John had seen there was nothing, the boy had resigned himself to the fate his actions had set out for him, and blamed no one but himself for what came of it.

"Heero, they need to be told about this," he began eying the tired boy.

The Japanese boy merely shook his head, "They won't listen…and I can't blame…them for that…" his voice was beginning to lose what little energy that it had, and his eyes tiredly fell closed.

"There has to be something I can do Heero. You must have had a plan to be able to come back," without really thinking John brushed his hand across Heero's forehead, the boy's fever still unchanged.

"I did…" he breathed without opening his eyes, "But I misjudged…their hatred…" Heero's words sounded slurred as his mind once more fell into the world of sleep. John only hoped that the world would be more peaceful for the boy.

He remained standing there long after Heero had fallen asleep, just watching the boy, and trying to figure out what to do. Heero was right, from all that John had seen, no one was in any mood to listen to what he had to say. So how could he get them to listen? He briefly contemplated simply going straight to Sally, force her to hear him out, even threaten if it came to that. But he didn't think any of it would do any good, besides bring it to her in that manner would no be conducive of having her believe it. That didn't leave him very many options to think of. There wasn't a single person John could think of, based on his viewings of the archives, who would be willing to listen. But did that mean there was no one left?

John slowly made his way back over to the desk, placing the water bottle down on the first open space he past. He felt lost and completely overwhelmed, where to even begin. Not knowing where to turn John's mind began to wander despite his best efforts to keep it focused on the task at hand. But that task was merely to ask the same question over and over again, without ever coming close to an answer. So his mind turned back to the moment he had walked into the room, completely unaware of all he would discover, at that moment all he had been concerned with was the condition of his patient. More than pleased to see that Heero was alive and actually fast asleep.

Fast asleep…John found it hard to believe that Luc would have allowed it to happen. He had already made a clear pattern of torture, though some days it was lighter than others, why stop now? John turned his attention back to the computer screen, continuing to watch the day's events to see what he might discover. And indeed as he had expected Luc had not foregone his pastime, but instead only gave up when it was clear the unresponsive Heero didn't care what happened to him.

John's ever wandering and clearly troubled mind recalled a day when he had entered the room to find Heero blindfolded, jumping at ever sound. Considering all Luc was capable of, this seemed to John to be rather a weak attempt at torture. Sure with instincts, and senses as sharp as Heero's clearly were it was not a pleasant situation to be in, and at the time John had only been pleased not to walk in and find the boy bleeding. Yet now he wondered if there had been something he'd missed from that day. Had Luc managed to slip something past him.

It surprised John when Luc left the room leaving Heero unattended, and a sinking feeling began to form in the pit of his stomach. He would like to know what it was he said to Sally while he was gone, he knew Luc was using the IV as a cover to go and speak with the female doctor, but what else was discussed? John surprise turned to horror as he watched Luc add something to the IV, at first he wanted to believe it couldn't be as bad as his intuition was telling him. But as he watched Heero's reaction to the added substance John knew without doubt that Luc had added Tylenol. It explained why Heero had seemed a little more out of it that usual when he had come in that evening…but why had he not died?

Unexpectedly Wufei entered the room, and John was forced to turn up the volume so that he could make out what the Chinese man said. At first his heart fell at the young man's harsh words, but as he continued to watch, noting the numerous looks he continued to cast Heero's way, John began to doubt his first assessment. The Chinese man made his way behind the monitoring station and his agile fingers flew over the key, and the screen went black. John jumped back in surprise having not expected that, it only lasted for a moment, and when the picture returned ten minutes had passed. Nothing in the room seemed immediately different, Wufei was again behind the desk, and Heero strapped to the table. Though now his writhing had ceased and he appeared to be asleep.

Did Wufei save him? John's mind reeled at the implications. This might had been what he was searching for all along, someone who might be willing to listen to reason, to come in and give Heero the chance to set everything right again. But how to get in touch with him…it could be as difficult as trying to get in touch with Relena. John heard again in his mind the way Heero had spoken her name, with so much regret and longing. Perhaps she, to, might be willing to let Heero explain himself.

Sighing John pulled both hands through his hair, feeling still at a complete loss. He had something to work with yes, but there was only so far he could go. He was only a doctor, and not entitled to the same security access as Sally was. Yet at the same time he couldn't afford to just simply give up, Heero's life and future depended on him being able to speak with them. John rubbed at his eyes in an attempt to clear his thinking, but found it did little to help. An idea suddenly entered into John's mind, and he found his hands reaching for a phone before he had even fully thought it out. Just as the phone began to ring John glanced at his watch to see what time it was, not wanting to be calling too early in the morning.

"Hello," a young feminine voice greeted him after three rings.

"Good morning," John returned amazed at the upbeat tone of his voice, "I was wondering if you might be able to give me a cell phone number that I seem to have misplaced."

"Who is the number for? And your reason for needing it?" the young lady asked.

"The number is for Chang Wufei," John told her slowly, his mind racing for an answer to her second question, "And I happen to be his doctor, I have some information he wanted passed on the moment I received it." He might have had just as easy a time of it if he had checked a phone book listings, but there was no assurances that Wufei would be registered, and the Agency's records were sure to have it.

"Alright sir, and your name please?" she asked clearly wanting to make sure he was someone who could actually ask for this number.

"Dr John den Biesen, authorisation number 889 713 493," he told her easily.

"Alright sir, the number is 793 8412."

"Thank you very much," he lowered the receiver to its cradle, overjoyed that it had worked. And feeling as though he might actually be able help Heero now with what he had. He sat there surrounded by the silence of the room, wondering if he dared try calling Wufei at this early hour. He supposed there was no time like the present, but what would he say to him? Would he even listen? The matter simply came down to the fact that there would be no way to find out if he just sat there staring at the phone. So he took up the receiver once more, and dialled the number that had been given to him.

He waited hardly breathing as the phone rang, trying desperately to think of what he was going to say, too prepare himself for what might come. The rings were cut off long before John had clearly planned out in his mind how he wanted to try and turn this conversation. "Chang here," a masculine voice spoke curtly into the phone.

John hesitated for a moment, mouth dry, "Good morning," he finally managed, pleased that his voice sounded calm and self assured. "Sorry for calling you so early, my name is John den Biesen. I know we've never met but I'm calling on behalf of a mutual acquaintance of ours."

Wufei was silent for several moments, and John found himself holding his breath, afraid he had misjudged, and the man would hang up on him. "I'm listening…" the smooth slightly superior tone responded finally.

"You saved his life that day you switched the IV," John began his voice clearly portraying how grateful he was for that action. "There's something that he needs to tell you, it's important, and I think you out of everyone he once knew might be able to listen with the most objective mind…" John wasn't sure why he wasn't using Heero's name, it almost felt like that would shatter the moment, destroy his tenuous hold over the situation.

Wufei held his tiny cell to his right ear, onyx eyes watching Relena from across the breakfast table all the while, he did not recognise the voice on the other end, but that was not uncommon. "…I'm calling on behalf of a mutual acquaintance of ours." Wufei's eyes subtly widened at that, and it didn't take much for him to know who it was this John was speaking of. He may not have recognised the voice, but the name was something that seemed familiar to Wufei. He seemed to recall Sally mentioning the name at one point or another, the man was a doctor, and Wufei doubted John would be calling for any other occasion that Heero.

_mutual acquaintance…_ Wufei mused silently eyes remaining calm as he watched Relena, he did not want to alarm her. And at the same time he himself didn't know how to react. What did this man have to say, it had to be important otherwise he would have been calling so early in the morning. But what could this doctor possibly know that they didn't? There was only one way to find out…

"I'm listening…" he responded slowly, standing from his chair feeling like he couldn't remain still.

Wufei though he heard the man on the other line breath a soft sigh of relief. "You saved his life that day you switched the IV," John's voice was nearly over powered with gratitude, and Wufei wondered how this man could be so attached. He didn't know Heero, how could he? He had only been watching over the former pilot for a few days. Would Heero even really trust this man enough to speak to him, knowing Heero as well as he did Wufei found it hard to believe.

"There's something that he needs to tell you," John continued his voice cutting through Wufei's thoughts. "It's important, and I think you out of everyone he once knew might be able to listen with the most objective mind…"

The Chinese man blinked, was that what he was…objective? Not influenced, confused, misguided? He liked the sound of it, but at the same time it concerned him, what was it that Heero had to say? That John needed an objective mind to hear? If it was entirely good, wouldn't any of them have worked? He had thought all the pilots wanted the truth, so why then come just to him? Unless what Heero had to say was less good than it was bad, and John hoped an impartial mind might be able to see the good as an outweighing factor. Wufei wasn't so sure he wanted to know now, for years he had held out the shallow hope that there might be an answer to all his questions, something favourable.

Was this now the moment where might discover otherwise? Where he'd be forced to face the truth not matter what it was? Wufei felt put upon the defensive by that, despite long years of wanting to ask Heero for the truth, he didn't think he truly wanted to face the pain that would come if the truth was anything other than what he hoped for. Wufei gave a sudden start realising where his train of thought had taken him, when had he become so weak, as to try and hide from the truth no matter what it was. Internally ashamed, he turned his back to Relena casting his gaze out a window, and spoke through the silence. "What are you talking about?" his voice was harsher than he had intended.

"I'm talking about the assassination attempt on Relena's life…" the tone of his voice told Wufei clearly that that should have said it all.

"What has he to say about that?" Wufei questioned, his hopes rising a fraction, as he attempted to keep his voice cool and indifferent. Was there really something all of them had missed that day? But if that was indeed the case why had Heero not corrected them, explained the situation when he had the chance? Wufei was not about to let his hopes rise any further, not when there was no guarantee that he would be rewarded.

"I think it better that he tell you…" John's voice was obviously hesitant, and it didn't take much thought for Wufei to know why. The man wanted Wufei to come, but at the same time he didn't want to ruin what chance there might have been for Wufei to listen with an open mind. Therefore John had to be very careful not to influence Wufei's mind set.

Wufei, glanced through the corner of one eye, to where Relena was avidly watching him, but she was patient clearly willing to wait for his conversation to finish before she asked about it. He looked deep into her eyes without appearing too, trying to see if she had any inclination towards what he was talking about. He couldn't see how, he hadn't said anything to really indicate the topic, and the conversation itself had been such a surprise to him, that he doubted it could even enter the widest scope of her dreams. Already he knew she would be asking him about the conversation, and he also knew that there was no way he'd be able to avoid telling her what it had been about. She would figure it out, no doubt.

"When?" he asked finally.

"Tonight," was the quick response, "I'd rather for the moment that certain people not know I'm arranging this…"

"Alright, I'll be there," Wufei told John running his free hand over his smoothed back hair as he did. Feeling that was as good a way to end the conversation as any Wufei shut off his cell, and slipped it back onto his belt. For several blissful moments the former pilot was able to stand in silence, eyes looking out the window, yet not seeing any of the spring beauty. His thoughts were turned more darkly inwards, attempted to properly prepare himself for what he was going to face.

"Wufei…" the moment couldn't possibly last, he should have been surprised and grateful for how long he did have. "Who was that?" Relena's voice maintained that amazing calm that she had been portraying for the past few days. She had only slipped once, allowing Wufei to see truly what her game was.

The Chinese man was not quick to answer as he ran through his options. He might be able to evade for a while, but in the end he knew that there was really no point in keeping it from her. She more so than anyone had a right to know, the question was, was the chance he was about to take worth the risk for her? Wufei couldn't say for sure, but he thought that if the information turned out to be bad, he'd be able to come to terms with it, in time. However he wasn't as sure that Relena would be able to do the same thing. Her hope had been so well hidden over the years, but Wufei suddenly remembered the conversation he had had with Trowa, on the way back to earth after rescuing Relena. Could he let her take the risk of further heartache?

"Wufei..?" a hint of impatience entered into Relena's voice, as she continued to wait seated still at the breakfast table.

He turned to face her, his expression a carefully composed mask. "No one important…" he settled on finally as an answer. Wufei was not about to send Relena walking into that room without first knowing what was to come. He did not want to be the cause of further pain for her.

Relena rose gracefully from her seat, her pretty lips curving into a slight smile, one that said so much. It was sad, but at the same time sardonic, it told him, she knew far more than he wanted her too, and at the same time that he himself knew nothing. "You don't honestly expect me to believe that do you?"

"Would you accept that not knowing is for you own good?" he didn't think that would win him any favours and he was right. Her expression never faltered, something Wufei knew would be intimidating, had he not been the man he was.

"You already knew it wouldn't…so who was on the phone?" She asked coming a few steps closer, "And what does it have to do with Heero?" the last Wufei thought he almost heard a hint of desperation.

Sighing, Wufei dropped his head, watching Relena still from the tops of his eyes. There was no help for it, Relena was not about to sit this one out, even if it meant protecting her from further pain. Honestly Wufei couldn't blame her for that, either, she was a strong woman, and she had stood in the face of many staggering disappointments and dangers, she would be able to withstand this. Wufei only hoped her smile would still be there at the end. "We're going in tonight."

Thanks for Reading!

**An Answer Given a Friend Returned**:

He turned his attention back to the boy, Heero's eyes were opened but not much as he tiredly watched John. "Do you think you can stay awake for a while?" he asked, having up till now not considered the fact that Heero might not be in a position to speak to Wufei.

The boy looked at him, his face scrunching slightly as he forced his eyes to focus, "Why?"

"Because someone's coming in to speak with you…" John explained gently, watching closely for any reaction that Heero might give.

"Wha…" Heero's voice cracked as his eyes widened clearly showing his surprise. John thought he saw a brief flash of hope, but it had been crushed behind iron walls too quickly for him to be able to say for sure. "Who?" he brought himself to ask finally.

"Chang Wufei," John told him, "He saved your life, when Luc had put Tylenol in your IV."

Heero's face was clearly puzzled by this at first, but John could tell he was thinking back trying to remember what John had made reference to. Finally a light entered his eyes, and Heero's head gave a slight nod, "That's what…it…was…"

"Yes that was it," John confirmed, "I want him to come in so you can tell him the same thing you told me."

Silence was his response as Heero appeared to consider what he had been told, his eyes opened after several minutes, and John did not like what he saw there. "It won't matter…" his voice rasped with a barely perceivable wobble to it, "I shot…him…" his eyes feel closed at that.

"What?" the words had been hard to make out, and John could not be sure he heard them right. But the look in the boy's eyes, and that near broken tone of his voice, only confirmed that he couldn't have miss heard. He looked deeply into Heero's eyes, remembering back two years ago, when the media had been inundated with news about Change Wufei having been mysteriously shot, and no perpetrator had been found. "That was you back then?"

Heero gave his head the slightest nod of affirmation.

"Why?"

The boy's eyes closed, and John thought he was thinking back on the instance, "I didn't want to…wasn't supposed to…be seen…" Heero breathed after several minutes, eyes opening only a crack, and it looked to John as though he were staring at the knife. It felt to John like what little hope had been breathed back into Heero's body—however briefly—was now gone.

"Don't forget Heero, Wufei saved your life," he reached out a hand to the boy's shoulder, feeling he needed some form of contact with Heero to help get his point across. "He wouldn't have done that if he utterly hated you." Heero gave no outward reaction as to whether or not John's words had had any effect on him, he just lay there, hardly seeming to breathe. All John could do was hope Wufei would get there soon.

"I've…never hated…any of them…" the boy whispered.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	28. An Answer Given a Friend Returned

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: As promised here's the next chapter as soon as I got it! it's a longer one too so I hope everyone enjoys it! Please give me a little time for the next chapter I'm really hoping not to make any of you wait another month, but a week or two might happen. Both my editors are in University so school work can sometimes get in the way (smiles) thank you all for being so patient!!!! enjoy!!!!

**PS** Sorry about the lack of dividers between scenes and perspectives, is no longer recognising any of them for me.

**To both my editors!!!! you guys rock!!!**

**Melodi Moon**: Thank you so much for the review! I think I should start putting a warning at the beginning of this story something along the lines of "WARNING story may cause reader to wait on the edge of there seat! be careful not to fall off" (sorry that wasn't funny) As for the current atmosphere, things are going to change in this chapter, so I hope you bare the little bit of evilness left at the beginning of this chapter! thanks again.

**Rekkabozigirl**: Hurray for warm and fuzzy feelings (smiles) I usually get that when my kitty is snuggled up in my hoodie with me, he's so warm and fuzzy...and named Heero too (smiles) thank you for the review! hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Clarobell**: WOW (smiles) thank you! here's the next chapter! I hope you enjoy it as much as the last!

**Lady MR1**: Dead bodies can be found and questions asked (smiles) who Heero? It was kind of fun to make him appear evil, he's got such a dark character naturally it's fun to play on it. That scene with Luc Sally and Heero, the one where he's stripped, wasn't an easy scene to write, but my friend and I decided well over a year ago that it just has to be in there. I kind of wanted to step out of the norm with this story, but not introducing the enemy to you, I didn't want to write scenes from their prospective. The are of course the Inner Circle (the ones with the phoenix brands on their chest) Was it really six days? (laughs) I've been keeping track of the days, months, and such as I've been typing this up, because I got to a point in the hand written version where I had no clue what month it was (laughs) You'll get to see Heero's reaction to Relena, and vies versa in this chapter. I hope you enjoy and thanks for reviewing!!

**Love'sAngel**: A merry Christmas to you too (smiles) about the use of the descriptive terms for Heero (laughs) sorry I don't think it was a conscious effort....I think this chapter had been finished before your first review (smiles) I don't know perhaps I use them too much, but I tend to like using lots of words. My editor neekabe is always taking stuff out because of that (laughs) thanks for the review!! and I hope you enjoy this chapter!!

**reiniku**: Here's the next chapter! as soon as I had hoped it would be!! Thanks so much for the review!! hope you enjoy!

**Shadowreader**: (laughs) climax? perhaps one of the many little ones (smiles) this story's not ending when Heero gets accepted back, you could almost say it's only the beginning (smiles) no more friends turning on one another I assure you! Thank you so much for the review! I hope this chapter will be everything you hoped it would be.

**RikoRishodeathangeloflight**: Here's more!!! (smiles) it's kind of nice not leaving so much time between chapters, I wish I could say I'll always be able to do that. Unfortunately my life and the story don't always agree! You'll find out in this chapter if Wufei believes Heero, but what were you referring to with 'What is Heero talking about?' is it was the shooting of Wufei, you'd have to go back to Confrontations where you get to see those mentioned events through Wufei's eyes. Thanks so much for the review! enjoy!

**Raizard333**: Wow thank you! thank you so much! (smiles) You're right Heero being welcomed back is hardly the end, in fact we're still only in the beginning of this story (smiles) there's so much more, I don't think I want to spoil it for you. But think of this story as moving in arcs, and we are heading to the close of one, and about to start another. The one we're about to start, will deal almost entirely with Heero's recovery, and the friendships slowly being rebuilt. I can tell you that there will be a lot more actions and romance before this story ends! Thanks again! I'm truly honoured!

**Squall-l-l**: Hurray for 'L's Thanks you so much! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**dragon agility**: Thank you! glued to the screen eh? one would ask how you remove them afterwards I can only imagine it might be painful (smiles) Wufei's a good man, he'll listen, and you're right, many, MANY more ups and downs (laughs) thanks for the review!!

**Alana12**: Thank you so much!! For once I'm updating soon like people asked me too (smiles proudly) I hope you enjoy this chapter, and thank you again!!

**Starcat1**: I'm glad to hear last chapter did something good (smiles) It's true what you say about Wufei, and perhaps at the very beginning he had been angry, but not anymore...unfortunately for poor Heero he doesn't know that. Happy Holidays to you too! hope you enjoy this chapter!

**ZeroYui**: Thank you so much! here's another chapter! as promised! as to whether Relena believes Heero or not (smiles) you'll just have to read and find out!! Thanks again!

**crystal-gundam**: Trowa's spent a lot of time with Relena after the shooting, he know's better than anyone just how much pain she was in, he doesn't want to see her go through that again. Because of that he wouldn't be the best on to listen to what Heero has to say, despite the fact that Relena still loves Heero, it's just a risk he's not willing to take. You'll now know what happens! thanks for the review!!

**Sakura Blossom-Cilla-85**: (smiles) all good things come in time! Hope you find this chapter was worth the long wait! Thanks for the review!

**Elly**: Thank you! It's certainly going to be novel length (smiles) I like long stories, all my short ones try to change into long ones...can be a problem sometimes (laughs). You like Ash? he'll be back soon....perhaps not for the happiest scenes but he will be back in the story in a couple of chapters. Thanks for the review!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing! it's just that simple.

**An Answer Given a Friend Returned**

Luc growled in frustration as the day's hours crawled by without offering him any of the results he had envisioned. For the second day in a row now, Heero lay there completely unresponsive, as though he were dead despite the rise and fall of his chest. Luc had tried everything he could think of to gain even the slightest wince, but all to no avail. He was a stubborn man though, and refused to give up no matter how many defeats he suffered, he knew the traitor was in there somewhere, and not matter how long it took he'd reach him.

He had been surprised earlier in the day when John had left the room. He had half expected the older doctor to put up more of a fight, as had happened everyday since Luc had begun having his fun. But John had said nothing to him, had merely cast one last glance Heero's way before exiting the room. Something in his eyes had caught Luc's attention, but it had been such a fleeting light that he had been unable to place his finger on it. He almost thought now, that it might have been anticipation flashing through his eyes. Luc forced it all from his mind, at the moment it didn't matter, he had more important things to keep his mind focused on; mainly drawing Heero from where ever he had hidden himself.

Walking over to the Japanese man, Luc slowly made his way around him, eyes always watching Heero's face, even as he hand shot out to strike at a sensitive area of the wounded man's body. But as had happened every time before, nothing changed, Heero's eyes did not open, nor did his face contort with the pain Luc knew he had caused. He came to a stop behind Heero's head, a long suffering sigh escaping his barely parted lips. This was proving to be a most boring day, and from what he gathered no agreement had been reached yet on how to handle this entire situation. This gave him more time to play, but unless he could garner a reaction what was the point?

Luc's gaze strayed to the cameras watching the room. In the intensity of the moments where he knew he had been getting through to Heero, only days before, he had forgotten their presence. Now he found himself considering them, and all they had seen and recorded. What was their purpose? They had not stopped his from treating the Traitor the way he saw fit, and obviously they were not being used against him. His right hand slipped into the deep pocket of his lab coat, fingering the hidden contents. He had tired everything else from previous days, was it perhaps time to break into something new? Was that the only way he might get the desired reaction? Luc hated the idea of walking away for a second day without knowing that he had made Heero pay for the way he treated Relena. It was all for her that he was doing this after all.

It didn't take Luc long to reach his decision, he wasn't properly serving the one he cared for if Heero wasn't suffering. His hand gripped the cool steel item, and withdrew it from his pocket. Luc studied it closely as he walked away from Heero's head and came to rest behind his slightly opened right hand. Shifting his grip on the hilt Luc found the tiny switch in the side, and the blade flipped out. A half grin took his features as he drove the knife home, right into the center of Heero's hand. His eyes watched the blade just long enough to see his aim was true, and then they switched to Heero's face, shocked to find still no change.

How was it that Heero could remain distant, appearing completely unaffected, when Luc knew he should have been feeling something? Frustration overwhelmed him, and he nearly found himself wanting to tear the knife out. But that would have meant tending to the wound, while with the knife in, it was really only oozing blood. Restraining himself Luc turned his back on the Japanese man and made his way back to his chair. He felt like screaming, but kept himself contained. His eyes shifted to the clock, seeing that his time with the Traitor was slowly running out. Luc hated to think that Heero had won, that his ability to block out the world was something Luc would never be able to get past. But what was there left to try?

John had entered Heero's room with a great deal of excitement; tonight was the night, he had actually managed to convince Wufei to come in. That alone had taken a great weight off of his shoulders, and the thought that tonight might possibly be the last night that Heero was forced to remain in these horrid circumstances only helped to lighten his feet. But that bubble of relief and happiness that encircled him, was quick to burst when John actually laid eyes on the boy. He had been relaxed into a false sense of security by the two days he had entered the room only to find Heero relatively unharmed.

Moments passed, and John was unable to remove his eyes from Heero's left hand and the switchblade knife sticking out of it. He couldn't understand it, but somehow this seemed different from all the rest that Luc had done. For some reason this caused bile to rise in the back of John's throat as he wondered at what sort of man Luc truly was. He couldn't understand it; Luc had gone out of his way to torture Heero more than once, what made this so different? But it was different, the knife stood rigid in the center of Heero's palm, blood pooling around it and beneath his hand. It was right in front of him, seeming almost to mock, as John knew there was not a thing he could do about it right now. He was not fool enough to remove the blade right now, not when it was staunching the flow of blood. Besides that, Heero wasn't moving any time soon, and therefore wouldn't be causing further damage.

John strode over to the table his thoughts surrounded in a black cloud of disbelief and hatred, he wanted to better see what damage had been done. "Heero?" he voiced the boy's name softly, hoping for—but not expecting—a reaction. And so he was delighted when the boy's Prussian eyes opened a mere crack. Breathing a sigh of relief, John came a little closer to Heero's side. "Were you awake when Luc did this?" John questioned motioning to the knife. Heero's eyes travelled to it, and it looked to John as though he were seeing it for the first time, answering is question for him, before the boy even shook his head.

Turning his attention to the knife John moved closer to it, trying to better gage how bad it was, but as Heero was strapped down, it was not easy to tell. It looked to him as though it had penetrated the hand between the bones, but he wouldn't be able to tell for sure without x-rays. John was rather concerned about possible nerve damage, the longer the blade was in there the more potential for irreparable damage. The best thing for Heero right now was to have that injury looked at by a specialist, something John was not in a position to do at the moment. But he hoped at the end of this night he would be, at the very least that he would be able to move Heero to a proper room.

He turned his attention back to the boy, Heero's eyes were opened but not much as he tiredly watched John. "Do you think you can stay awake for a while?" he asked, having up till now not considered the fact that Heero might not be in a position to speak to Wufei.

The boy looked at him, his face scrunching slightly as he forced his eyes to focus, "Why?"

"Because someone's coming in to speak with you…" John explained gently, watching closely for any reaction that Heero might give.

"Wha…" Heero's voice cracked as his eyes widened clearly showing his surprise. John thought he saw a brief flash of hope, but it had been crushed behind iron walls too quickly for him to be able to say for sure. "Who?" he brought himself to ask finally.

"Chang Wufei," John told him, "He saved your life, when Luc had put Tylenol in your IV."

Heero's face was clearly puzzled by this at first, but John could tell he was thinking back trying to remember what John had made reference to. Finally a light entered his eyes, and Heero's head gave a slight nod, "That's what…it…was…"

"Yes that was it," John confirmed, "I want him to come in so you can tell him the same thing you told me."

Silence was his response as Heero appeared to consider what he had been told, his eyes opened after several minutes, and John did not like what he saw there. "It won't matter…" his voice rasped with a barely perceivable wobble to it, "I shot…him…" his eyes feel closed at that.

"What?" the words had been hard to make out, and John could not be sure he heard them right. But the look in the boy's eyes and that near broken tone of his voice only confirmed that he couldn't have misheard. He looked deeply into Heero's eyes, remembering back two years ago, when the media had been inundated with news about Chang Wufei having been mysteriously shot, and no perpetrator had been found. "That was you back then?"

Heero gave his head the slightest nod of affirmation.

"Why?"

The boy's eyes closed, and John thought he was thinking back on the instance, "I didn't want to…wasn't supposed to…be seen…" Heero breathed after several minutes, eyes opening only a crack, and it looked to John as though he were staring at the knife. It felt to John like what little hope had been breathed back into Heero's body—however briefly—was now gone.

"Don't forget Heero, Wufei saved your life," he reached out a hand to the boy's shoulder, feeling he needed some form of contact with Heero to help get his point across. "He wouldn't have done that if he utterly hated you." Heero gave no outward reaction as to whether or not John's words had had any effect on him, he just lay there, hardly seeming to breathe. All John could do was hope Wufei would get there soon.

"I've…never hated…any of them…" the boy whispered.

Relena had been hard pressed to get through the meetings of her day, with a clear and focused mind, she continually found her thoughts drifting to Heero, knowing she would be seeing him tonight. Wufei was obviously concerned about the situation; that was why he had been so hesitant to tell her about the phone call. She felt her irritation rise at the memory. Who were they to decide what she could and could not cope with? Relena was no fool, she was not about to delude herself into thinking this meeting was going to be a walk in the park. Wufei had described to her what condition she'd be seeing Heero in, but she found it impossible to fit his words to an image, it was so unlike the Heero she had known and fallen in love with.

Despite her fears that the day would simply drag by, each second feeling as though an hour should have passed, Relena made it to the end with a relative speed that left her racing to catch up. She had thought she'd be given a little more time to mentally prepare for this moment. But it had managed to sneak up on her, and now here she was walking through the base with Wufei at her side. The halls were quiet at this late hour, but Wufei still insisted on taking less used halls to avoid being seen. She didn't blame him, the last thing either of them wanted was question they would be hard pressed to answer.

More than once Relena had wanted to break the silence, whether it had been on the long car ride over, or at some point through the softly echoing halls. But she just couldn't bring herself to speak the first word, and Wufei seemed just as content with the silence, so she left it alone. Relena focused in on where they were heading, for some reason the hallway's silence felt particularly oppressive, but she was pretty sure that had to be her mind playing tricks on her. Nothing about this place seemed all that different from any of the other halls they had passed through, however Relena soon found out what exactly set it apart.

"We're here…" Wufei announced onyx eyes searching out Relena's face to make sure she was ready to do this.

Staring at the door Relena noted it looked no different that almost any of the others, it bore its number in simple black, and other than that was a plain grey, a color that almost begged the mind to sleep. A standard key pad was set into the right side of the wall besides the door, Wufei reached for it, punching in the code while his eyes remained on her face. She paid the look no mind however, keeping her focus squarely on the door waiting for it to slide aside. The lock gave way with an audible click, and Relena couldn't seem to breathe.

Relena gasped in a sudden breath when her eyes finally came to land upon the unmoving form or Heero Yuy. The man who had threatened her life on more than one occasion, had shot her in cold blood only three years before, and despite all that, had managed to hold a strong place in her heart. Both hands shot to her gaping mouth, as her eyes began to water in disbelief. Wufei's hand came to rest gently upon her back as he guided them both into the room letting the door close and lock behind them. Relena only really had eyes for Heero, Wufei's words had done nothing to prepare her for the reality of what she was seeing. And that was a battered and broken man, merely a shadow of the one she had once known.

She had hoped herself prepared for this, she had watched Heero face great danger, near death encounters and always he had surprised her with his near inhuman resilience. But reality could not have come crashing home any faster for her. She hardly recognised Heero now. Wufei's hands were firmly holding both of her shoulders, and in the very back of her mind Relena realised that was probably all that was keeping her standing at the moment.

"Wufei," and elderly man greeted with a relieved expression, "And Ms Peacecraft, I wasn't expecting you…" the man bowed forward ever so slightly.

Relena blinked several times trying without much success to tear her eyes from Heero, "This is something I need to do," she managed to explain her pale blue eyes only briefly flickering to the old man's face.

"What is it you wanted to tell us John?" Wufei questioned, jumping right to the heart of the matter.

"I'd more like for Heero to--"

"Oh my goodness…" Relena gasped softly looking at Heero's left hand. There had been so much for Relena to take in at a first glance, that she had not been able to look any deeper than just the general appearance of Heero. Now however her eyes were locked upon the knife protruding from the palm of Heero's left hand.

John's eyes traveled in the direction Relena was staring at, "That would be a parting gift from Dr Carter."

Her eyes managed to pull away from Heero then only to lock onto John's kindly old face, "Why hasn't something been done about it?" she asked, concerned by the blood pooled in his palm, and beneath his hand.

"At the present time it's better to leave it in," John attempted to explain gently, "I don't have the needed skills to treat that properly, and at present I don't have the necessary access to the people who do."

Wufei's hands gently squeezed her shoulders, "Is he in a position to speak?"

"I hope so…but he didn't seem to think you'd listen," John explained eyes watching Heero, filled with a sad light.

Relena looked over to the old doctor, something in what he had said triggering a question in her mind. "You spoke to him a lot?" it seemed more than a little odd that Heero would confide in anyone. Least of all a man he had only met a few days before, she had never known him to be so trusting, especially considering the way he had acted at the cottage.

A sad smile took John's features, "It was more my speaking and his listening, but yes we have talked." Silence fell between them for a moment, and John took a step towards Heero, but at the same time he squarely placed himself between them and the injured pilot. "Right now it doesn't matter what your feelings towards Heero are, all you need to do is here what he has to say with an open mind."

"That's why we're here," Wufei confirmed leading Relena closer to the table at the center of the room.

The feeling of shock had not entirely passed from when she had first entered the room, but Relena felt more in control of the situation, and more importantly, able to stand on her own. Gracefully she slipped from Wufei's comforting hands and made her way around the table so that she was standing opposite the others, on Heero's right side. For a long time she stared down at his face, seeing him clearly for the first time. It was hard to reconcile the differences that she was seeing now to what her memories of him continued to display in her mind.

"Heero…" the doctor called softly leaning a little closer to the former pilot. Relena noted the hand resting almost reassuringly on Heero's left shoulder, and it seemed odd to her that this man would feel comfortable enough to do that. But that's exactly how he looked, as though he had done it many times before, and it had gained him the right results. Had Heero allowed it? There wasn't much he could do if he didn't want it, however John had not struck Relena as the type to force something on his patient unless absolutely necessary. In either case, Heero gave no outward sign that he had either heard, nor that he was even awake.

Stepping a little closer, Relena wanted to reach out and touch Heero, as though to make sure he were actually there, but she feared hurting him and so kept her hands back. However she did call out his name, so softly it could hardly even be called a whisper. It had been unintentional slipping from her lips before she even realised the thought had formed in her head.

Heero gave an internal start at the sound of his name being called, it had not been John's voice to speak to him, he had forced himself not to respond. He, unlike the kindly doctor, was no longer willing to raise his hopes over any chances. But the voice that had called to him this time was different, he had not been paying enough attention to hear it clearly, but it rang to him with familiarity. It was something he should have known beyond any doubt. Yet he refused to let his hope rise, he was safe where he was, distanced from the outside world, no longer a part of anything that was going on there.

"Heero," again his name was spoken, and he wondered how it had managed to reach him, nothing should have been able to penetrate that far. Only one person had ever managed to do that, and Heero did not want to let himself believe that it could be her.

"Don't do this…" the voice pleaded, and despite Heero's best efforts and intentions, he found his eyes opening, his mind coming fully back to his body, and all that that meant. Sucking in a shallow breath, Heero's eyes squinted against the harsh lights, and he had to wait several moments for them to actually be able to open. He was vaguely aware of more voices speaking softly, but he could not bring himself to focus upon them, it didn't matter, his eyes were only seeing one thing, and it had to be a dream.

"Re…lena…" his voice was a gravely rasp, as he stared fixedly at the figure that couldn't be more than a hallucination.

Her features were just as he had remembered them in his deepest dreams, beautiful but so sad. He had caused that, he had done exactly what Luc had said, he broke her. Guilt rose within him, as well as self hatred, he had thrown her away. Now seeing her face to face, how could he ever hope to be forgiven. It felt to Heero as though the world had suddenly stood still as he sat there facing Relena's accusing eyes, they burned him more than any of his other injuries, and had he been able to find the means to close them, he probably would have.

He wondered—only in the farthest reaches of his mind—how long they were there staring at each other, but it couldn't last forever. "Why…" her lips parted in question, but Heero could barely hear her, "Why did you try and kill me?" He could see the light of determination in her blue eyes; she was trying her hardest to be strong, to ask the question he knew had been playing through her mind these last three years.

"I didn't…" he whispered hoping the words would make it to her ears.

"We'd love to believe you Heero, but what proof is there?" Suddenly the world moved back into motion, at the clear sound of Wufei's voice. Heero's eyes managed to break away from Relena's face even as she looked to the Chinese man.

Heero found himself reciting words that he had had memorized for three long years, though he had always held out a slim hope that the pilots would discover this information on their own. He gave Wufei the needed directions to lead him to the location of a well hidden file—in retrospect too well hidden—that explained his plan in detail. A plan formed over several months, every detail hammered out, a counter measure for any contingency that might have come up. His throat burned with a need for water, and he could feel the need to cough aching in his chest, but he had to get this information out. The impossible was finally happening, he was being given a chance to explain himself to set his life straight once more.

He watched through partially closed eyes as Wufei exchanged a glance with Relena before moving away from the table. Heero was able to track the former pilots movements as he made his way over to the door, "I'll call you with what I find," he announced before leaving. Heero turned his attention back to the other two standing over him, his breaths coming in a raspy cough, he couldn't hold it off any longer. John quickly moved away coming back only seconds later with a water bottle in hand. Heero accepted the offered drink willingly relishing in the feel of the cool liquid extinguishing the fire in his throat.

"Heero…" Relena's voice sounded tearful as she leaned in just a little closer, trying to see his lidded eyes clearly. "Why? Why couldn't you tell me?" he hated watching the tears fall from her eyes.

Staring at her long and hard Heero longed to reach out and brush away those tears, instead he let his eyes fall closed trying to block them out altogether. "I couldn't…take the risk…" he told her simply, though the words hurt to speak, and for once it was not a physical pain.

"Do you have so little faith in me Heero?" There was a hurt anger emanating from her words, and they cut him as sharply as the knife sticking out of his hand.

"I…wanted to tell you…" he whispered not opening his eyes, he didn't want to see the tears he had caused. But in the darkness of his mind he was met with more frightening images, and a remembrance of the night after he had deceived them all. That was the first time he had found solace in alcohol, and the first time he had come close to death by it.

John had been watching silently from beside Heero as the conversation progressed, and he didn't like the path it was taking. Nothing could be gained from dwelling on past events, and it was clear to see from both their faces that it was only going to get worse. He was more concerned however for Heero in this matter, he didn't need to be dealing with this on top of everything else, yet he didn't blame Relena for reacting the way she did. She had just been forced to stare three years of her life—all of which had been a lie—full in the face. John was finding himself feeling increasingly more protective of Heero as more and more people showed their lack of caring. It wasn't hard for him to tell that Relena truly did care for this boy, but at the same time she was unintentionally making this very hard on Heero.

Shifting his hand briefly from Heero's shoulder to his forehead John was not only trying to gain the boy's attention, but also to check on his condition. Heero's eyes flickered at his touch but he didn't say anything. John could feel Relena's puzzled eyes watching him, and when he glanced to her face he found a strange incredulous light in her glassy blue eyes. Had the situation not been what it was John would have questioned her on it, but it didn't seem all that important right now. John made his way over to where Relena was standing, heading directly for the restraint holding down Heero's wrist.

"I don't think we'll need these any longer," he directed the words to Heero with a gentle smile. Once he had the cuff undone John carefully took hold of the boy's arm, aware of the numerous injuries he did not want to aggravate. Slowly he shifted the arm to rest as Heero's side, and took a moment to study the boy's face. Heero didn't appear as though he was all that focused anymore, but at the same time John was fairly sure he was still conscious. His attention then turned to Relena, the young woman seemed almost frozen at Heero's side and that was doing neither herself nor Heero any good. Lightly touching her upon the shoulder, he caught her attention; she opened her mouth as if to speak but clearly had no idea what to say.

John just nodded his head, what could you possibly say in a situation like this? The phone rang out in the silence signalling Wufei had not had trouble finding what he was looking for now that he had direction from Heero. "Why don't you go see what Wufei's found," he suggested, hoping she'd go with it, so at least she'd have something to occupy her mind. "I'd like to start preparing to move Heero out of here as soon as possible," with both Relena and Wufei on his side John no longer felt the hopelessness of before.

Relena hesitated for a moment, obviously not wanting to leave the boy's side, but he was pleased to see she saw the subsequent good that would come from giving Heero a moment's time. She offered John a wan smile before making her way over to the still ringing phone. Leaning down towards the boy, John tried to look into the Heero's eyes, "Don't dwell on the past now Heero." He continued on his way removing both the restraints that held Heero's legs before coming to a stop at the boy's left hand. And he stood there for several moments just staring at the knife wondered how he should deal with this. Glancing over to where Relena sat listening to Wufei, he wanted to know what progress had been made, and where this would take Heero now.

"He was able to find the information" he didn't make it a question, he had not known Heero would only tell Wufei about that. John had expected the boy to tell the Chinese man the same thing he had heard. Proof was not necessary for him, but if it took that extra step for Wufei to believe so much the better.

"Yes," Relena answered for the Chinese man her eyes glancing towards Heero briefly, before returning to John, "He planned it all…"

John nodded his head, having already known this, "And where does that leave us now?"

"Wufei sent the information out, to the others," she explained hanging up the phone and coming to her feet. "He also called for Une, Sally, Duo and Trowa, we'll need their help if we want to move Heero from this room." Relena crossed the room the room to Heero's side once more her eyes glancing to John quickly, "Wufei said he'd be down as soon as he could." The room fell almost completely still, everyone having something to say, but no way to express it.

"Is there really a need for secrecy anymore?" Relena question into the oppressive silence, "We know he's innocent now, there's no reason to keep his presence a secret any more." She looked to John before her eyes returned to Heero.

John felt more than heard the boy stir behind him, and he turned in time to see Heero give a barely perceivable shake of his head. "Can't tell anyone…" he spoke in a hallow voice.

"I hate the thought of the world thinking you shot me" Relena said with clear frustration "You don't deserve that…"

The tiny smile that touch Heero's features at that surprised John, it was the first pleasant expression he had ever seen touch the boy's pained face. "That would ruin everything…"

"I know," she sighed, "You sacrificed so much to get on the inside," her head dropped.

"He sacrificed everything to try and bring down this Inner Circle. Something he hasn't yet been able to do," Wufei offered as he walked over, having picked up on the conversation as he walked in. Through the corner of his eye John saw Heero flinch at that, and he felt resentment flare up with in him. Could Wufei not have chosen a more tactful way to put it. "If they know he's alive and innocent," the Chinese man continued, "That will ruin everything Heero worked so hard for these past three years."

The door at the far side of the room slid open, and two people entered the room, Une leading the way, despite the late hour she was still in a business suit. She had apparently come directly from her office. The other, a man John recognised to be the one who broke Heero, Trowa, followed only a step behind. He looked like he had either just finished a rigorous workout or stepped from the shower. Both wore unreadable expressions as they came to a stop only a few feet from Heero.

"How could it possibly be that we never found this before?" Une demanded immediately.

Wufei being put on the spot so suddenly appeared hard pressed to find an answer to her legitimate question, something John himself wondered at. "It was well hidden…after the incident none of even wanted to look…" he shrugged, it was clear on his face that Wufei thought these were useless excuses.

Trowa's eyes were locked on Heero, and John watched him closely feeling more protective of Heero in the presence of this man than any other, aside from Luc. Trowa's one visible eye was difficult to read, it was clear he was not the sort of man to express himself openly. But John was fairly sure it must have been shock he was feeling, it was what they were all experiencing. He couldn't begin to imagine what it must have been like to stare three years of your life in a totally new light, to face the object of a long cultivated hatred only to see it was utterly unfounded.

John was about to interject, as that none of this introspection was helping Heero's present situation, and it would be just as easy to deal with it once the boy was made comfortable. But before he could the door opened once more, and a literal whirlwind stormed into the room. "You son of a bitch!" a new voice fumed, "You couldn't even tell me?!" John had no difficulty recognising Duo, only he wore a braid of that length, and the entire thing seemed to be bristling.

Heero coughed a dry laugh at that, "You can't act."

"But I can," it was Trowa who spoke up suddenly a fire in his eyes that John could not name, it puzzled him that even when this young man was displaying emotions it was done in such a way that you couldn't say for sure what you were looking at. John thought it almost spoke of a newness to such emotions, that he had not grown up learning to deal with them, but he had a hard time bringing himself to believe that.

"None of this however changes anything, and I think Heero's condition should be our first concern at the moment." John had not realised the slight edge to his voice as he began to speak, but all eyes turned to him. And it struck John then that, while they might not know him, more than one pair of eyes was looking to him to lead them away from this awkward situation.

"Where is it you want to start?" Une asked stepping closer to look at Heero, who lay there eyes closed appearing to be asleep. It looked to John as though she were seeing him for the first time.

"I want him in surgery within the next three hours," John didn't even like waiting half that long but he knew if he wanted this done right by the right people he have to be patience. Nobody made a move, and John drew in a calming breath knowing it wasn't their faults exactly, the whole situation was still to huge for all of them to fully comprehend. Stepping away from Heero, though he did not want to leave the boy's side, John reached for a piece of paper, lying on the table. Placing it on the back of one of the monitors John withdrew a pen from his pocket and began to quickly write down the needed information. When he had finished he handed it to Wufei, "These are the places I need to be in and for approximately how long. I'm assuming since Heero doesn't want anyone to know he's alive, so you'll need to make sure the halls are clear."

Wufei's was not the only face to show relief at this, they had just been given something to do, and anything other than just standing there was going to make dealing with this situation a little easier. Taking hold of another piece of paper John made a second list, and handed it to Trowa who was the closest to him, "I need these doctors and nurses, ready to treat him within three hours, sooner would be better but no later than three." They were the first names that popped into his head, they were all competent and trustworthy, experts in their fields and best able to help Heero.

"Is that really such a good idea?" Wufei voiced eyes looking to Heero, "We don't want him to be recognised."

"Believe me," John was quick to reassure, "With how he'll look in the operating theatre no one with recognise him. But if you are concerned, have a legal document written up that they have to sign."

"That might not be a bad idea, just to be on the safe side," Une concurred, arms folded across her chest, voice very business like. She was not letting it show, just how much the recent events were affecting her, but John didn't doubt it was much the same as the others.

John made his way back to Heero's side, the Japanese boy hadn't said anything nor had he opened his eyes since Duo entered the room. He wondered how best he might deal with Heero's hand. He would have liked a second opinion on the matter. John's head came up, "Where's Sally?" he inquired suddenly having realised that she was not present in the room.

Une's usually stern voice held the barest note of regret, "She won't be coming…" she looked like there was something more she wanted to say, but couldn't actually find the words for it.

Holding back a sigh John looked to the extra hands about the room, "If that's the case than I'm going to need one of you to help me secure his hand, so that knife doesn't do any further damage."

"I'll help," Relena volunteered, "It's the least I can do to start making it up to him…" she couldn't seem to make herself look at Heero as she spoke.

"Who did that to him?" Une inquired.

"A Dr Luc Carter," John informed bitterly, "He was assigned by Sally to watch over Heero during the day…"

"This is my fault…" Relena gasped in realisation, her eyes narrowing suddenly, "I want to see him punished for this!"

Wufei stepped forward resting a reassuring hand upon her small shoulder, "You know we can't do that."

"But he tortured Heero! We can't just let that go." Relena fumed, her anger still under tight control, she was well accustomed to remaining in command of herself, but this was testing her limits.

"We can't do anything for the same reason we can't tell the world Heero's alive," Trowa's deep calming voice spoke up.

John glanced from face to face, a little irritated that they were standing talking about this when they should have been tending to Heero. What had happened to him should never have happened to anyone, no matter what they had done in their life, but discussing Luc was not going to make Heero any better. However looking into their eyes—as hard to read as they were—John thought he was still seeing a deep remorse, and in some cases even a self hatred. He didn't take comfort in that, it only told him they hadn't forgotten him, they were dealing with this as best they could. His eyes swept over to Heero's face, noticing that his eyes were open a crack as he followed the proceedings going on around him. To John's eyes it looked to him like the boy was more relaxed that he had ever been. There was a bright light of relief in Heero's eyes, that struck John deeply.

The sound of movement close to the door had John's eyes focused upon Duo who was making his way—with a slightly agitated stride the old doctor thought—towards the door. "Duo, where are you going?" Wufei asked after the retreating man.

"Standing here isn't going to get anything done," the American responded matter-of-factly, his voice sounding as agitated as his stance looked.

"He's right," Trowa agreed, "We'll get in touch with the people you need." He reached a hand out to Wufei, "I'll also start working on securing the halls."

"I can do that," Wufei defended.

"He'll need other things than just that," the taller man reasoned, and Wufei passed the paper over to him. With that the two men left the room, using rather hurried steps John thought.

Relena moved over to Une, looking up at the taller woman, "We're going to need to hold a press conference in the morning, informing the world that Heero Yuy died." Her voice shook at the last, but at the same time there was determination there also.

"What?" Une blinked in surprise, but took a moment to think about it, and appeared to come to the same conclusion as Wufei had. She nodded her head, "I see I'll make sure it's arranged."

John motioned for Wufei to come closer to him, "What I need right now is a gurney to move him, can you get me one?" The Chinese man mutely nodded his head and walked from the room, while John turned his full attention back to Heero.

"Thank…you…" the boy whispered, eyes only partially opened, and looking like he was forcing it.

Those two words melted a part of John's heart, and he smiled down at the boy, moving closer to Heero's head so he could offer him a drink of water. His mind was turning everything over, there was so much that needed to be done before John felt he'd actually be able to breathe a sigh of relief. John didn't look up when he heard Une clear her throat softly, "I'll leave you to this, there's a lot I need to arrange and research. Besides, I think I'd only be in the way here…" John heard the door close behind her but he was too deep in thought to really pay it all that much mind.

"Is he really going to be alright?" a soft worried voice wove it's way into John's thinking and he looked up to see Relena standing across from him eyes looking down at Heero's face, who's own were closed once more.

"In time…" John ventured slowly, he hadn't even begun to think beyond the next hour, but he felt, and knew from watching the boy that Heero was a fighter. He wouldn't give in without a fight, especially after making it this far. "He has a long way to go…and I'm not so sure he wouldn't be better of in a medically induced coma…" he was musing more to himself now than actually talking to Relena.

"No…" a voice spoke up, and though it was thin and faded, it demanded to be heard. "I don't want…that…" Heero breathed eyes locked on John's face.

"Heero when the withdrawal hits I don't think your body will be able to handle it," John tried to reason.

"I…don't want to lose…more time…" his eyes seemed almost desperate at that, and John felt for the boy, but he was more than a little worried.

"I can understand that Heero, but you need understand your limits," he sighed seeing the determination glinting in the boy's Prussian orbs. "About the only compromise I can make is that we wean you off of it." If Heero was kept well hydrated there would be nothing to fear from the drug, so perhaps it was actually the best way to approach this. He smiled down at Heero, "Don't worry, just relax."

John nodded his head to put the boy at ease and turned his attention over to Heero's left hand. With the restraints now gone, John gently raised Heero's hand, holding onto it at the wrist so as to not cause any more damage. His fingers brushed against something rough, and John bent over the boy's wrist to have a better look. A ragged callous surrounded most of Heero's wrist, a sign that he had been in restraints far longer than the few days he had been here. John's eyes strayed to Heero's face, eyes once more closed, exhaustion clear on his features.

"What are you going to do about that?" Relena questioned softly.

"For the moment, nothing beyond immobilising it," he told her, gently lowering Heero's hand before making his, over to the far side of the room. He began searching through the cupboards for something he could use to secure the knife, so it couldn't cut any further.

Pulling the leather chair back from her desk Une lowered herself down behind her computer, feeling as though she were not quite a part of her body. The news that had been delivered to her just a little over an hour ago, still had not managed to sink in, and she found herself looking it all over once again. She wanted to understand everything to be back on top of the situation, anything else was foreign to her. And to now realise that she had been missing a vital piece of information for three years it was more than a little unsettling for her. The office about her was dimly lit, the monitor before her casting an eerie glow throughout the room.

The whole event wounded her professional pride. Had she not been at the top of her agency? Had not all the pilots reported to her? How then had Heero felt the only way to do with was by deceiving them all? Une knew that it would have been impossibly hard to live out three years of her life knowing Heero's innocence and not being able to reassure his one time friends. But still she would have liked to think she'd be up to the challenge. But beyond all this, what did it all mean? Heero had left them in pursuit of this Inner Circle, a group who was mostly stationed on Freedom's Point…Dante's colony…

It made her wonder if he knew about this, if it was his organisation? Had he been playing her a fool all this time? She wanted very much to believe this was not the case, and that he was not the head of this group. She thought there was a fair amount of evidence to say just that. Une thought she could believe Dante to be honest to her, but she couldn't very well ask him about it. According to the report Heero had made for them, members of the Inner Circle were branded on the left side of their chest. The thought of asking Dante to prove to her that he was not a member or perhaps even the leader of this organisation caused a blush to rise to Une's features, making her glad to be alone, but there was a certain appeal to the idea... Thinking of Dante now always seemed to cause a rush within her, that Une had not felt since Treize.

Blinking suddenly Une pulled the receiver of her personal phone away from her ear, and looked down to her hand half way through dialling Dante's number. She couldn't call him now what would she say? Anything would sound suspicious, and she could understand fully why for the moment at least Heero had to be dead to the world. There was a lot that needed to be done, information that had to be gathered, unfortunately mostly from Heero, and from the look of him Une was not sure when they'd be getting it. It shocked her that that was the first time she had been down to see him, fully aware that the 'Traitor' was present, but feeling no need to see with her own eyes. Looking back on them moment now, Une had been rather stunned at the condition she found the former pilot in.

Une drummed her fingers upon the shinning oak finish of her heavy desk, she had always been a woman of patience, yet even now she felt it slipping. She had been in charged with the safety of the peace, a task she never took lightly. And now she knew there was a potential threat, something she should have been acting on right now, but she was compelled to remain silent, as this was a group like no other. Without Heero leading the way Une knew there was no furthering the mission. So her mind was beginning to turn over everything she'd have to contend with, once the announcement was made that Heero Yuy had died. They were going to have to keep him isolated, she trusted the men and women she worked with, but this would most definitely slip out if they did not make an effort to keep the number of people 'in the know' low.

With the pilots having their own private wing of the base, Une knew that Heero having a private place to stay was not going to be an issue. But still anything could happened that might jeopardise this tenuous situation, and that's what Une really had to prepare for. Leaning back in her chair Une knew already she wasn't going to be getting much sleep tonight, her mind was spinning a mile a minute, with no chance of slowly down any time soon. Glancing down at her watch, Une gauged the time, mentally figuring out what time it would be where Dante was. Perhaps she would call him after all…it would not seem to out of the ordinary, besides speaking to him always helped her to think, even if it was not in reference to what they were actually discussing.

John stared at the x-rays with distaste, as he waited for the doctors he had asked for to arrive. The nurses were already there preparing Heero for surgery. It had been a difficult moment when they had walked into the room seeing their latest patient for the first time. There might have been no way they'd recognise Heero as anything other than a severely wounded boy. However there were more than enough questions as to how he got to be in this condition, not easy questions to answer. John knew it was more than obvious that only some of his injuries had been tended too, and the others ignored, it was also obvious that Heero had been neglected for a great deal of time.

Thankfully, however, John was handed his deliverance by Trowa, in the form of a 'Non-Disclosure Agreement' something John had made the nurses sign before they even entered the room Heero was waiting in. It hadn't stopped the questions, but it had given John the freedom not to answer. Because how Heero got the injuries didn't change the fact that something needed to be done about them, and that demanded to be first priority.

"This is rather unusual wouldn't you say John?" A strongly nasal voice questioned from across the room, and John turned to see the surgeons he had requested.

_More than you know…_ John thought silently to himself, but merely offered the newcomers a small smile, it was forced but he hoped it didn't look to obvious. "I wouldn't have thought there'd be anything odd about a late night surgery, you gentlemen do it all the time."

"Well that's certainly true," Dr Brodie Marks responded with a nod of his head as his arms crossed and he settled his slight weight back. He was a young man, considered a prodigy by most for his excellent work with repairing nerve damage. "But I can't remember the last time I was informed of a patient by one of Relena's bodyguards…" he trailed off a questioning look in his brown eyes.

The first man to have spoken nodded his greying head in agreement, a Dr Anthony Brown, a competent surgeon if not a might bit conceited. "Seems to me there's something more going on here than you'd all like to let on…what's with the hushed nature?"

John drew in a breath preparing himself for what was to come, "Well, that I can't answer, all I need right now is your services, if you don't want any part of this leave here now. If not sign these, and lets begin," He passed a sheet of paper to each of them.

"What's this?" the third man questioned suspiciously, he was the oldest of the three doctor's John had asked for. He might have been old but he had several years of good service still left in him, processing a sharp tongue, and no patience for foolishness. John rather likes Keith Williams, they had known each other for most of their working lives, and had always managed to get on rather well together.

"A Non-Disclosure Agreement, in signing this document you were never here, we haven't met this night, and the patient you are about to see doesn't exist." He told them all simply, watching as their expression became incredulous, "This is the way it has to be, don't ask me why I, obviously can't explain it to you. So will you help this patient or not?"

"This is rather unusual John," Anthony seemed almost to mock as he made to had the paper back.

"And why do you think that is?" John was quick to return not reaching out to take the paper. He could see indecision on the other men's faces, and he spoke to comfort their fears, "I assure you, that in signing that and helping this patient you are in no way breaking the law. I called for the three of you specifically because this boy needs you," the last he felt might be enough to tug at both ego and heart strings, and, as hoped pens, started moving, scrawling illegible signatures.

Brodie passed his paper back last, and looked John directly in the eye, "So who is this top secret patient?"

"I'm afraid even after signing this I can't reveal that, it really isn't all that important though," John stepped aside affording all three doctors a better view of the x-rays that had been posted up behind him. The backlit x-rays revealed the sorry state Heero's bones were in, and he saw each man react with surprise. They had all seen it before, broken bones were nothing new to them, but so many on one small body, and the knife were enough to draw a reaction from anyone.

"Well I can see why you need me…" Brodie mused stepping closer to the x-ray of Heero's left hand, "How long has that been in there?"

"Longer than I would have liked it to be," He had not checked the tapes to find the exact time that Luc had done this, but it was most likely a fair number hours.

Anthony and Keith both stepped closer examining each one carefully, "How did all this happen?" Keith inquired looking back over his shoulder to where John stood waiting.

"Again that's not really necessary information…" he evaded shifting the papers in his hands without thinking.

"I can understand keeping the patient's identity a secret, and that this event never happened, but why is how it happened such an issue? What difference could that make?" Keith countered face as stern as John ever remembered seeing it.

John suppressed the need to sigh heavily, he understood where each of these men were coming from, and had no trouble putting himself in their shoes, but he was going to respect Heero's wishes. "Would you be satisfied with a car crash?" it obviously wasn't the truth, but his injuries were severe enough for that, and if they needed something it was the best John could do.

"If that's the best we're to get …" Keith did sigh then, turning his eyes back to the screen, "Well what are we waiting for? Is the boy prepped and ready?"

"Yes the nurses are already doing that all that's left is for us to scrub up, and see to him."

Keith gave a start at that, "You're no surgeon John."

"I know but I feel I should be there…" he didn't want to be sitting idly by while these men saw to Heero's needs.

"This one's special to you, John?" Keith asked, watching through the corner of one eye.

"Yes…"

"Well then let's not keep him waiting," Keith was the first to move off towards the prep room, and John release a half breath he had been holding. It was finally happening. Heero was receiving the help that he needed, a once hopeless situation as completely turned around, and John couldn't have been more happy or relieved. Though he knew this wasn't the end, rather a new beginning, with more difficulties waiting for the boy. But those could be dealt with as they came, there was no sense worrying over them just now. John followed along behind, his steps feeling lighter than they had all week.

Thanks for reading!!

**All Is Not Lost**:

"…The colony is planning an evening shower for the end of the week other than that the week should be lovely the weather seasonably warm. Bill, back to you…" the weather lady said ending her section of the news. There was really little use for her now, what with the weather being controlled by someone on the colony. But it was still nice to know when the rain was coming.

Ash hardly paid any attention to the news, as the anchor started onto a story that they had already covered to death. His focus was never really on much other than one thing, Heero, and what had happened to him. It didn't matter that it had been a little over three months without word from the Japanese man, Ash was determined to find him. There was just no way he could ever being himself to believe that Heero had just up and left, as Dante seemed happy to accept. Every free moment he had was given over to his search, and he had noticed a steady decline in his free time as Dante seemed to always have more and more jobs for him to do. He didn't doubt that was done in an attempt to end his friends unhealthy obsession.

He knew Dante was only worried about him, and a part of Ash's mind could see and comprehend why. He had lost weight in the last few months more focused on his search that eating, but Dante was doing his best to rectify that now. And Ash knew he had become far more distant with the people around him, yet that was something that Dante couldn't change, despite his best efforts. From where he sat in his living room Ash kept half an ear on the morning news, and vaguely heard the anchor interrupt his interviewee.

"…Sorry to cut you off Mr. Kain, but we have just received word that Une, commander of the Earth Defence Corp, will be holding the press conference early, we go now live to earth where we await her arrival. We are told she should be there any moment. The purpose behind this conference is unknown to us at this moment…" The anchor man glanced down at his notes before starting into a recap of what he had just said for those who were just coming in.

The name Une caught Ash's attention but not enough for his to take his eyes off what he held in his hands. The pictures that he had put up in Heero's apartment, the ones that had mysteriously been torn down, something Ash knew Heero wouldn't do. If that had been his intention all along he would have done so the day Ash had first put them up. Ash couldn't stop himself from looking at them, and wondering. It eat away at him, he would have given anything to discover what had become of his friend.

A new voice breaking through the silence of his room, caught Ash's attention, and he half listened to what it had to say. "…I've called this meeting to announce the end of a dark chapter in the history of the peace. Heero Yuy, former bodyguard to Relena Peacecraft, and more recently traitor to the peace, has died." Une's voice was indifferent to the words she was speaking.

Ash jumped forward in his seat, his mind shut down when he heard her words, unable to understand what Une had said, but she was not done. "For three long years Yuy had eluded us, however we were finally able to corner him. We had hoped to bring him to proper justice. Unfortunately the life he was forced to lead, remaining in hiding wore away at his heath, and he died early this morning, despite our best efforts." Ash couldn't believe what he was hearing, dead? It didn't seem possible, he had watched as Heero eluded death, as easily as he eluded the people perusing him, how was it that death had managed to catch him now?

Falling back against his firm couch Ash stared at the ceiling without seeing, feeling like the life had been sucked out of him. This couldn't be the way his three long months of searching were to end, it wasn't a possibility. He wouldn't accept this as the answer he had been searching for. Ash felt his eyes prick with on coming tears, they were formed from endless frustration, and loss, but he would not let them fall, he would not be that weak, Heero would not have wanted that.

"How did it happen…?"

Morganeth Taren'drel


	29. All Is Not Lost

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Well there goes my hope of being more consistent, I'm so sorry! I still have a number of chapters finished so in theory I could become more consistent but it may take me a little while. I hope you'll all continue to bare with me during this time. You guys have been great already! I could never have imagine such a response for this story! And your reactions to Ash being in the next chapter, I never expected him to become so well liked! Thank you all!

And a very special thanks to both **Pious Knight **and **neekabe **who made the chapter possible!

**reiniku**: Thank you so much for the review! And you are right the Inner Circle did get the plans on Zero from Heero, but he made it very difficult for them. And though they have all the pieces they had yet to put it together, without Heero that's going to take a long time. The advantage that the Inner Circle has right now is no one knows who they are so they can't very well make their presence know by searching for Heero or anything like that. Thank you again, sorry this one wasn't as fast as the last!

**Love'sAngel**: Thank you so much for reviewing this story! Hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last! Sorry it was so late!

**Starcat1**: Ash isn't going to come looking for Heero exactly, but because of reader reaction to him making an appearance in this chapter I've decided to make a rather large change to the story bringing him back into the picture much earlier. It's still a little while away but much closer than before (laughs) Sorry I didn't write the surgery, I had been thinking about it but I don't have all the knowledge that I'd need, and it started to feel like I was dragging the scene. But I will be writing Heero's recovery which is going to take a long time, I can tell you now that his hand will be fine, but it's going take a while. Thank you so much for the review!!

**Rekkaboziegirl**: Thank you!! It makes my heart smile to know Ash is so well liked (smiles) It's because of all of you that Ash is going to come back into this story sooner than I had expected. Originally I was evilly thinking of keeping to the original hand written version where Ash isn't introduced again until near to the end, but you've all convinced me otherwise. There will be a very fun reunion but I don't want to spoil all the fun details now (laughs) thanks again for the review!!

**Padme**: Thank you so much! Luckily the Gundam still needs to be built, so they have some time. Thank you again for the review, I hope you like this chapter, and I'm sorry it's so late!

**Neko-Jenn**: You're welcome (smiles) and thank you for reading it! I hope you continue to enjoy it!

**Melodi Moon**: Thank you!! Things are going to start changing up a little here, but since Heero's the main character it's important to be with him. But I am trying to mix it up a little so that what's happening with him won't become repetitive, however I do think it's really important to see each of the pilots come to him to make their peace. Of course I don't plan on doing that one after the other (laughs) that would drive everyone nuts. Thanks again for the review!

**Raizard333**: Thank you so much!! Luc isn't actually told about Heero's innocence, he's told along with the rest of the world that Heero's dead. As too his reaction (smiles) it's in this chapter. As for what's going to happen to Luc, I can tell you he won't be a member of the Inner Circle, something far more suiting will happen (smiles evilly). You want me to tell you how the pilots are going to take on the Inner Circle? I don't want to spoil it for you (smiles) but I can tell you that it'll take a long time to complete. Thanks again for the wonderful review!

**Shadowreader**: huh….interesting I don't think I ever thought to write Dante's review (laughs) oh well I might not have written his immediate reaction to hearing Heero 'died' but you will get a conversation between he and Une about it. As for Luc he's in here, so I won't spoil it for you, Thanks for the review!!

**ZeroYui**: Thank you! Sorry this chapter took me longer than I wanted to come out. I'm sorry that all you'll see of Ash in this chapter is what you read for the preview. But he'll be back I can promise you that! Thanks again!

**Squall-l-l**: Thank you so much!! I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last!

**Elly**: Yes Ash is coming back but not that much in this chapter at least. Longer chapter eh? I think you're going to kill my editors (laughs) at least one of them already thinks they're too long. Thank you so much! Hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last, sorry it took me so long.

**dragon agility**: Thank you for the review! You'll see some of Zechs' reaction in this chapter, but it'll become more clear when he actually goes to speak with Heero. All you'll see of Ash I'm sorry to say is what you read in the last chapter's preview. But all of your reactions to that preview have helped convince me to bring him back way earlier than I had expected. So I hope you enjoy this chapter, and thanks for the review!

**Rikothedeathangel**: Well at least they won't tell him yet (smiles) Ash will find out way earlier than I had expected. Sorry this chapter didn't come out as fast as the last, but here it is I hope you enjoy it! Thanks so much for the review!

**Lady MR1**: (looks shocked and sad) botch it? That's not very nice (laughs) I know exactly what you mean, so many of these chapters have been such an effort to write because I'm constantly thinking about how it will play. There's just so much emotion, and so many awkward situations. So I'm so glad that it worked out! Thank you so much!!!

**Sakura Blossom-Cilla-85**: Guh! (runs and hides) I hope you're not meaning in one chapter (peeks around corner) You'll certainly be getting some if not all of that but in time. Next chapter you get to see Trowa's thought I'm pretty sure. But for most of them you aren't in their heads, but I think it's still clear what they're thinking and feeling. Besides for the most part trying to write from their point of view would be incredibly difficult since they're all feeling so much guilt. I hope you'll be happy with what I give you, and that you so much for the review!!

**little princess**: Sorry this chapter didn't come out as fast. Oh I think they care, but in the face of everything it's difficult for them to grasp it all, or just one small thing. You get to see more of how they're handling this news, in this chapter. Yes you get to see Ash again, after seeing everyone's response to this preview I was sorry that that was all you'd get to see of him for a while. But the good news is Ash will be coming back into the story sooner than I had been anticipating , so I hope you'll be happy with how it all turns out. Thank you so much for the review and cookies!

**charice**: (laughs) thank you so much, though I'm kind of surprised you started with happy (smiles) I'll be sure to give you little tiny rays of sunshine, and at times I can promise you they won't be small at all. So I hope you'll continue to enjoy and that you again for the review!

**SignalAutoS13**: Wow! Thank you, sorry it took me so long! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thank you again!

**Alana12**: Thank you so very much! I hope you continue to enjoy!

**Twilight Dusk**: Wow…just wow (smiles) what a packed review! Well thank you for it! Glad you like John and Ash, as for Sally dating Luc, I don't think that would work, I don't really intend to keep him around all that much longer if you know what I mean (wink). Ash is coming back very soon so I hope you enjoy him, and what happens when he comes back (smiles) Thank you again for this amazing review, please enjoy this next chapter!

**darthchibichibi**: Thank you so very much! I'll keep writing until this monster of a story is finished (smiles) I just hope everyone can be patient with me until it's done. Thank you again!

**Sage-Doomhunter**: Thank you for this wonderful review! I'm always amazed when I read about someone staying up all night to read this story, I never expected it would be able to capture people this way. I'm glad you like John, he's a very special who's going to play a very important role in Heero's life from this point on. I'm sorry this chapter took me so long to get out, I hope you enjoy it as much as the rest, and thank you again!

**Tiger Shinigami**: Thanks for the review! I'm so glad you like Duo's part in this, I was actually thinking about you a lot when I was writing it since you love Duo so much. I didn't want to disappoint. As for Ash (smiles) can't say I'm surprised you aren't thrilled, I wonder what you'll think when he and Duo first meet (laughs evilly) I can't wait to get to that part so I can see your reaction! Thank you again for the review!

**lil' demon**: hurray for John fan club!! So glad you like him! In time you'll see what happens to Luc. Sorry I took so long I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks for the review!!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing

**All Is Not Lost**

Wufei's onyx eyes scanned over the room he had just finished preparing. It was a special room that Sally had specifically for the pilots to make caring for major injuries easier on her. It hadn't been used all that much since it's creation, but Relena had spent a fair amount of time in the room when she had returned to them. Being on the same floor as all of their rooms and Sally's made watching over which ever one was in there all that much easier. He had spoken to John shortly before the doctor had taken Heero into surgery to let him know that he was preparing a room for Heero to use.

From what he gathered it was still going to be a while before Heero was ready to be moved to this room. But Wufei had made sure John had his cell number on him, so that when he was ready to move Heero they would be able to help clear the halls. The others hadn't said much since finishing their assigned tasks, and frankly he wasn't surprised. Wufei had volunteered them knowing that when needed they'd be there, despite the guilt they were all carrying with them. It was not going to be easy to work this all out. Wufei felt a slight relief wash over him at having been the only one to really considered there might have been more to this that what they had seen. But he knew he was not altogether blameless himself. With all that time to think about it, he should have gone searching, he should have found what Heero had left for them.

It was easy to look back on everything that had happened over the last few years and see all the places that they had gone wrong individually and as a group. But as they say, hindsight is twenty-twenty, and no matter how long you look back and tear yourself up, it wasn't going to change that you are always in the present and that you must make use of the time you have. Wufei hoped they'd all one day be able to make it back to where they had once been. He hoped the friendship born through experiences during the war would not be so easily severed. November ninth had proven otherwise, nevertheless that didn't mean they couldn't come back from that, and he was positive that everyone wanted too.

Glancing at his watch, Wufei saw it to be a little after two in the morning. At this point he knew he wasn't going to be getting any sleep this night, and he doubted seriously that the others would be any different. Relena had insisted on remaining as close to Heero as she could while he was in surgery, so Wufei had left her in an observation room. John was the only one to know she was there. It was difficult to tell just how Relena was taking the whole situation, but Wufei had no trouble reading the guilt and hurt that marred her pretty features. But that was only external, he had no way to even begin guessing what she was feeling or thinking internally. None of them had been in a situation like this before; they had nothing to compare it too. She seemed at least to be holding herself together, and for the moment that was good enough. Wufei hadn't missed the effect Relena being near Heero had had on the wounded pilot, it was a good sign to say the very least.

Satisfied that everything was as ready as it was going to be, Wufei made for the door and stepped out into the hall. Movements further down caught his attention and Wufei watched as both Trowa and Duo made their way into a common room they all shared on this floor. His apartment was not lacking in room to relax, but Duo had thought it might be nice to have a room separate from their own in which they could meet. Curiosity pulled Wufei towards that very room. The expression on both their faces had not been all that encouraging, but then again after what they had learned he didn't expect any of them to be smiling anytime soon.

The door had not fully slid closed when Wufei came to it, and he pressed the button on the side panel without looking. His eyes were focused inwards along with his hearing. A conversation seemed to be in progress, and Wufei was surprised to hear it was not just Duo and Trowa, but also Zechs' voice was filling the otherwise quiet room. Crossing over the threshold Wufei brought the conversation to a sudden halt, and he found four pairs of eyes watching him, though only two were actually present in the room. Zechs and Quatre had called up on vid phones, and it seemed to Wufei that it had been them who initiated the conversation with Trowa and Duo. He wondered at what they had been planning to discus, that they had not thought to include him.

"So you were right all along…" Duo spoke up bitterly from the chair he was sitting in, he had not bothered to get up, but rather dropped his head back so he was looking Wufei's way. "Why aren't you rubbing it in?"

Wufei felt instantly put on the defensive by this, he tried not to let it show though. He could understand where the frustration was coming from, he felt it himself, at the loss of three years of a good friendship. "I'm as much to blame for the last three years," he responded evenly, "There's nothing that should have stopped me from finding that file."

"Except for our constant pressure to hate him," Trowa was quick to put in, a pointed look in his eyes, and Wufei knew he was thinking back on that conversation they had had on the shuttle ride back to earth.

But Wufei was already shaking his head, "All that did was keep me from sharing my views aloud."

"This is all my fault," Quatre interjected into the silence that had followed Wufei's statement. "He told me, as clearly as he could…and I never listened," his eyes were hidden behind a curtain of bangs as he refused to look at any of them.

"What good will it do to sit here and lay blame? The past can't be changed no matter how much any of us want it to be." Wufei's own frustration was beginning to build, and not just from the fact that there was nothing he could do. Matters weren't going to improve any if the others couldn't step out from under the shadow of their past. He knew it was not easy to ask, as they had only learned the true weight of the last three years, but wallowing in self pity wasn't going to change a damn thing.

"That's easy for you to say," Duo almost snarled, "You're the only one walking around with a clear conscience."

Wufei's anger peeked at that, "I shot him just as surely as he shot me! I blamed him just as much for what we thought he did to Relena! Why am I not allowed guilt?!"

Duo came to his feet, face dark with internal anger just begging to be released. Wufei stood in the face of it without flinching. He knew where than anger was really directed, and despite what Duo wanted to believe, he knew just as well as the rest what it felt like to hate yourself completely. The braided man took a threatening step towards Wufei, but quickly drew himself up, "FUCK!!!" he shouted that single word carrying with it a torrent of his anger and frustration. "Why the Hell did he have to do this?! He played us all!!" Duo was shaking with his anger now, but there was nowhere for him to release it, there was pain in his eyes as he tried to contain it.

The silence that took the room was heavy, Wufei nearly felt his shoulders ache under its weight "How are we ever going to make it up to him?" Quatre breathed, it was clear he wasn't really expecting to receive and answer. And the silence that continued after was the clear and obvious answer.

"Well we aren't going to get anywhere if we just sit here feeling sorry for ourselves," Wufei knew he was repeating himself but what else could he do? The conversation would just go continuously around in circles otherwise. "We need something to focus our attention on."

Duo threw himself to his feet pacing the room after throwing a glare Duo's way, "That's easy for you to say!"

The Chinese man tried to contain his frustration, shouting Duo down wasn't going to accomplish anything. The former pilot was merely trying to deal with what he was feeling, and if the only way he could handle it was to take it out on Wufei, the Chinese man felt he could deal with it. Besides he had been the brunt of a great deal of frustration for the last several months. "This isn't getting us anywhere…" Trowa spoke up for the first time, his voice emotionless, his eyes shielded.

"It is easy for you to say focus on something else," Zechs spoke up rubbing a hand over his eyes, "But what? You already know this isn't something we're just going to be able to put behind us." His voice was filled with hatred, but it was entirely directed at himself. Wufei didn't have to guess why. It had been Zechs who had played a huge role in reducing Heero to his present condition. It was no surprise that he would be replaying those moments over in his head, but they all had moments like that, moments of quality time with Their own personal demons that they were one day going to have to reconcile themselves with.

"Then I suggest we start researching this Inner Circle," Wufei interjected into the heavy silence.

"Have you forgotten what Heero had to do to learn anything?" Trowa ask dryly with an eyebrow lifted.

"Of course not, but that shouldn't stop us from trying. He might be our best source, and we'll have to wait till he's able to speak. You wanted something to focus on; I'm just suggesting something we can do." Silence once more followed whether they were considering his suggestion or once more in there own little hells, trying to grapple with the impossible, Wufei didn't know, but he hoped it was consideration.

He was half way to leaving the room when his cell phone rang sharply into the silence, and he quickly reached for it, bringing it to his ear while his eyes remained watching the others. "Chang here," he spoke into the small item.

"Wufei? It's John. He's out of surgery, we'll be ready to move him soon," the old doctor informed with more that just a note of relief in his voice.

"How is he?" Wufei saw the looks the others were sending his way, there was no questions about who he was talking to, or about.

"Well I'd love to say this fixes everything…" John began softly, "But I'm afraid this is only the beginning, he'll most likely be out for quite a while, but it won't be long now before the withdrawal will set in."

Wufei winced internally. He hoped it would be as easy to deal with as Relena's had been, but he knew that was a lot to hope for. Relena had not been on the drug for nearly as long as Heero had, and she had also been given he luxury of being weaned off of it. "Alright, we have a room ready for him, I'll make sure everything is ready for moving him before I come down to meet you."

"Okay I want to have him settled in as soon as possible," with that John hung up, and Wufei slipped his phone back into his pocket. "We'll need to secure a rout for John and Heero, I'm going down to meet him," he made his way towards the door casting one last glance back over his shoulder, "At least it'll give you something to do."

Une looked over the statement she had prepared several hours ago for what seemed like the thousandth time, still unsure that it would come off the way she wanted it too. It was not an easy announcement to make. Only nine hours before Une would have had no problem with it; it would have been the moment they had all been waiting for. It would have finally closed a dark chapter in all their lives. Now however everything was different. He hadn't betrayed them; he had continued fighting for the peace despite the cost to himself. The world was going to go on believing his had tried to kill Relena, they wouldn't know of his sacrifice. Not that Une thought for a moment Heero would want to be publicised like that, but she wanted them to know, she wanted to correct the last three years.

Still Une was no fool, she clearly understood the reason why—for the moment at least—the world needed to believe Heero had died. She was glad now that the pilots had taken so much precaution before bringing Heero into the building, that certainly made keeping his continued presence here a secret all that much easier. Standing, Une made her way to the large windows at the back of her office, looking out over the world, and the still climbing sun. It was still early for a press conference, she had considered calling it anyways, as this was sort of a special situation, but had decided against it. She still could use a little more time to prepare.

Mostly she was unsure of what tone of voice to use, she didn't want to come off as regretful for the death of this 'traitor'. The world would expect a firm uncaring tone…perhaps even slightly victorious. She felt comfortable that she'd be able to fool the world with as much skill as Heero had, though (granted) hers was the easier of the two jobs hands down. Looking out over the waking city in the distance Une found herself wishing for the comforting presence of Treize, he had always lent her strength, even when she hadn't been aware that she needed it. Still in death she felt strength from him, but it was not always enough.

Dante offered the same strength, but she was more reluctant to take if from him, there was distance between them, and they were not in the same organisation. It made her feel weak to rely upon his strength, and at the same time it made her feel alive in ways she hadn't felt for years. There was something secretly nice about being able to rely upon a man, in certain situations. But she couldn't be doing that now, Une silently chided herself, she needed to be focused. Just standing around her office wasn't going to do any good, so she moved back over to her desk, pressing the intercom button with her index finger Une spoke to her secretary. "Nyla, is everything assembled for the conference?"

"Yes ma'am, everyone's here, and the major news stations have been mentioning the nine o'clock conference for a few hours now."

"Good, have word sent that the conference will be happening now, I'll be down in a few moments." What's the point of putting it off any longer? Besides just sitting her was allowing her mind to wander in ways she would have liked to avoid.

"Yes ma'am," Nyla's softly accented voice responded.

Une withdrew her finger and gathered together the papers that were on her desk, placing them in a leather folder before she made her way to the double doors. She offered Nyla a brief nod as she passed, walking with a steady stride to the main door. Once out in the halls of the agency, Une wore a superb mask; it was no particular expression, but at the same time there was something there just around her eyes. She knew people could stare at her for hours without knowing her true intentions, and that was just the way she wanted it.

"…The colony is planning an evening shower for the end of the week other than that the week should be lovely the weather seasonably warm. Bill, back to you…" the weather lady said ending her section of the news. There was really little use for her now, what with the weather being controlled by someone on the colony. But it was still nice to know when the rain was coming.

Ash hardly paid any attention to the news, as the anchor started onto a story that they had already covered to death. His focus was never on much other than one thing: Heero. It didn't matter that it had been a little over three months without word from the Japanese man, Ash was determined to find him. There was just no way he could ever being himself to believe that Heero had just up and left, as Dante seemed happy to accept. Every free moment he had was given over to his search, and he had noticed a steady decline in his free time as Dante seemed to always have more and more jobs for him to do. He didn't doubt that was done in an attempt to end his apparently unhealthy obsession.

He knew Dante was only worried about him, and a part of Ash's mind could see and comprehend why. He had lost weight in the last few months more focused on his search that eating, but Dante was doing his best to rectify that now. And Ash knew he had become far more distant with the people around him, yet that was something that Dante couldn't change, despite his best efforts. From where he sat in his living room Ash kept half an ear on the morning news, and vaguely heard the anchor interrupt his interviewee.

"…Sorry to cut you off Mr. Kain, but we have just received word that Commander Une, head of the Earth Defence Corp, will be holding the press conference early, we go now live to earth where we await her arrival. We are told she should be there any moment. The purpose behind this conference is unknown to us at this moment…" The anchor man glanced down at his notes before starting into a recap of what he had just said for those who were just coming in.

The name Une caught Ash's attention but not enough for his to take his eyes off what he held in his hands. The pictures that he had put up in Heero's apartment, the ones that had mysteriously been torn down, something Ash knew Heero wouldn't do. If that had been his intention all along he would have done so the day Ash had first put them up. Ash couldn't stop himself from looking at them, and wondering. It ate away at him, and he would have given anything to discover what had become of his friend.

A new voice breaking through the silence of his room, caught Ash's attention, and he half listened to what it had to say. "…I've called this meeting to announce the end of a dark chapter in the history of the peace. Heero Yuy, former bodyguard to Relena Peacecraft, and more recently traitor to the peace, has died." Une's voice was indifferent to the words she was speaking.

Ash jumped forward in his seat, his mind shut down when he heard her words, unable to understand what Une had said, but she was not done. "For three long years Yuy had eluded us, however we were finally able to corner him. We had hoped to bring him to proper justice. Unfortunately the life he was forced to lead, remaining in hiding, wore away at his heath, and he died early this morning, despite our best efforts." Ash couldn't believe what he was hearing: dead? It didn't seem possible, he had watched as Heero eluded death, as easily as he eluded the people perusing him, how was it that death had managed to catch him now?

Falling back against his firm couch Ash stared at the ceiling without seeing, feeling like the life had been sucked out of him. This couldn't be the way his three long months of searching were to end, it wasn't a possibility. He wouldn't accept this as the answer he had been searching for. Ash felt his eyes prick with oncoming tears, they were formed from endless frustration, and loss, but he would not let them fall, he would not be that weak, Heero would not have wanted that.

"How did it happen…?"

John looked down on Heero's unconscious form, now in the proper place, a hospital bed with warm blankets covering his thin frame, and a shirt clothing his upper half. He was clean now, his skin no longer dull, his hair not limp or greasy. But John thought if it were possible Heero looked worse than he had before all this good was done for him. He knew it was partly due to the stress that everything had put upon his body, and secondly the dose of Adnolprinaminophen he had been given to ease—but hopefully avoid—the withdrawal. John knew in the end Heero'd be better off for it. Carefully he checked all the tubes and wires that fell away from Heero's body, there were so many of them that they seemed to over shadow the boy.

Briefly he glanced up to see where Relena had seated herself on Heero's right, she held the boy's hand gently in hers, remaining completely still, as though fearing the tiniest twitch would cause Heero pain. John smiled privately to himself, almost positive that he saw Heero breathe a little easier with Relena's personal contact. She was not the only one who watched over Heero. Wufei also stood over the bed, expression grave, arms folded across his chest, his stance saying he wasn't going anywhere. John fought back a yawn as he turned his attention back to his sole concern.

"You should head home and get some rest, John," Wufei's smooth voice broke the silence of the room.

John glanced Wufei's way, "You've been up as long as I have," he told the young man, calmly.

He thought he saw the smallest of smiles flicker across Wufei's face at that, then came the response, "I'm used to little sleep."

A part of John wanted to retort with 'so am I!' but he knew that those days were behind him, a by product of old age. Still he didn't want to just leave the boy; that went against everything ounce of training in him. "I can't just leave him unattended."

"Neither can you remain awake twenty-four/seven, it's just not possible." Wufei took a step closer to the foot of Heero's bed, "Besides he's not alone. I'll be here for him."

"But you're no doctor," that was what worried John the most, that something drastic would happen during the day.

"No, but Sally's here," Wufei sounded so confident that she would come id needed, John only wished he could share in the Chinese man's confidence.

John shook his head, "What if she refuses to come?"

"Believe me, I can persuade her." There was something distinctly threatening about the way Wufei had spoken those words. "Trust me, he'll be alright, well looked after, besides he'll need you during the night."

Hesitating a moment John reached out to place his hand upon Heero's forehead. The mention of Sally sent John's thoughts turning. He couldn't let matters remain the way there were, something had to be done about her. She had to be willing to come to Heero's needs, but he knew it wouldn't be easy to do. She knew the truth now, and rectifying that with what she had done, was not going to be easy for her to do. But the fact remained that she needed to do just that, and John was not going to leave until he had set the ball into motion. "Alright, you should get some sleep too," John directed that towards Relena, who was obviously fighting her need to rest.

She looked up at him offering a sad smile, "I will, I just don't want to leave him right away."

"He won't wake for quite a while," John reassured stepping away from the bed to stand before Wufei. "Sally's apartment is on this floor is it not?"

Wufei looked at him, as though wanting to get an idea of what John's intentions were before answering, "Yes, it's the fourth door down on the right."

"Alright, I'll leave him with you, call me if anything goes wrong…" he wondered if he'd have an easier time sleeping at night knowing Heero was finally in good hands. He doubted it however, though Luc was no longer around, withdrawal could set in at any time, and in his present state John still had his doubts that the boy could handle it. Casting one last glance over Heero's form and the two who stood guard over him, John left the room and made his way down the hall.

Coming to a stop outside Sally's room John gave himself a moment to gather his thoughts before knocking on the door. This was not going to be easy, and it was very important that he kept his patience with Sally. Giving into anger wasn't going to accomplish anything, in fact it would probably only succeed in making the who situation worse. He finally knocked on the door, and waited for a reply but in receiving none John wondered what he would do. It wasn't like he could force her door to open, and he wasn't about to shout what he need to say through the thick metal.

"I thought she might be like that…" Wufei spoke up from just a little way down the hall, and John jumped gripping his chest. He had not heard the youth come up behind him. "Sorry," the Chinese man offered with a half smile.

"I really need to speak to her," John said looking back to the door. Wufei said nothing as he came up beside the doctor, and struck a quick sequence of keys causing the lock to give way, and the door to slide open. He offered John a sympathetic look before heading back towards Heero's room. Drawing a quick breath John walked into the darkened room.

"Sally?" he called softly into the silent rooms, stepping in he let the door slid close behind him and waited a moment for his eyes to adjust to the light. The living room appeared to be empty, but John could see a glow coming from down the hall, and he headed off in that direction. John felt a spark of worry as he made his way towards the spare room, where the eerie glow was emanating from. He could only imagine how Sally would have taken the shocking information, he only hoped she was not so consumed with shame that she did something stupid. He didn't think Sally was weak enough to fall so far.

Rounding the corner John looked into the room that Sally had converted into a study, and there she sat behind her desk, eyes focusing on the screen of her computer. Both her hands were pulling through her hair as she mouthed words he assumed she was reading off the screen. "Sally?" he asked, trying to get her attention. She didn't look up from the screen. John stepped into the room hoping to here what Sally was whispering to herself.

"­­­­I will use my power to help the sick to the best of my ability and judgment; I will abstain from harming or wrongdoing any man by it." It didn't take much for him to place it now, it was the Hippocratic Oath. He wasn't surprised that it had been that passage that she focused on.

"Sally!" He was more forceful this time knowing he needed to get her attention, "Don't do this!" He wanted her to feel the weight of what she had done, but not if it was going to completely incapacitate her. There was no telling when she would be able to bring herself to function, and Heero needed her now.

"I broke my oath!" Sally cried, as though trying to drive him back by the force of her anger.

"Yes, you did." There was no use denying it, she had broken it, and in perhaps one of the worst ways. Sally flinched back at his words, illuminated by the computer screen had it was clear she had been crying, and tears still stood out at the edges of them. "But what good will come from you sitting here torturing yourself?"

She looked horrified at herself, as though she had just awoken from a deep sleep only to now see what she had truly done. "I let Luc have his way with him, I didn't do…anything…"

John was no longer mad at Sally. That had washed away the moment he had gained control of the situation and Heero had been taken to better care. Now all that remained was disappointment, he cared for Sally a great deal, and still believed despite all this she was an excellent doctor. Certainly there could be no excuse for what she had done, though a number of them jumped into his mind. But he wanted to know how they could move on, surely there had to be a way. Would Heero have wanted this? That seemed to John to be the central most question in all of this.

_I've…never hated…any of them…_

Heero's words echoed through John's head as he looked down at Sally. If she had only heard him say it, knew the way he had said it, it might have made this easier. He doubted that anything short of going back in time and doing this all over again, was going to make this easy for Sally. "Sally, he knew," John pulled a hand down his face, "He wanted you to believe he had done it. He did all this willingly, knowing what would happen."

"There's no way he could have foreseen this." Sally forcefully shook her head, unable to give in.

"Perhaps not, but that doesn't change the fact that he isn't blaming any of you."

"But that doesn't matter John," Sally wept angrily, "I broke my oath, I betrayed who I am!"

John folded his arms across his chest, assuming a strong stance, "So you're just going to sit here torturing yourself, when you could be out there making it up to him?" His voice was harsher than he would have liked, but as this conversation was going, John was really beginning to think this was the only way to get through to her.

"I have no right to go to him! I have no right to even be a doctor!" she was on her feet shouting now, it was clearly directed at herself and not John.

"I'm not here to make that judgement. I won't deny what you did was wrong, but that doesn't mean we can't make amends for the mistakes we make." His tone suddenly became more gentle, "We all deserve a second chance, that doesn't just apply to Heero."

Sally rubbed at her puffy red eyes, "I don't think I can give myself that chance…"

"You owe it to Heero to try." They stared at each other for several minutes in the uncomfortable, and John could feel his exhaustion flowing in on the tails of the adrenaline that had just flashed through him. "Sally, with the world thinking Heero has died, nothing that happened here can come into the news, you have to be able to function normally."

That seemed to catch her attention, but nothing on her face seemed any different, she only looked more closely at him. "I don't want to live with this…"

"There really isn't that much choice," John eased, knowing there was little else to say that wasn't going to start a recap of everything that had already been said. "Look, just promise me you'll be there for him if Wufei calls you. This isn't going to get any easier if you wait too long…"

She looked hesitant for several minutes, truly torn within herself, but she did at last nod her head, only slightly. That was all John wanted to see. He knew there was no way to turn this around in just a few minutes, it was going to take many months. If they could even get this moving at all. With one last look at Sally's tear streaked face, John turned to make his way back out of the room. He needed to get home and try to find some rest so he'd be able to deal with whatever might come his way the next night.

"We were unable to learn much during his last hours, about his intent over the past three years." Une's voice continued clear and true as she looked out over the men and women that the camera couldn't see. "Though we were able to confirm that he had been working alone, when he attempted to assassinate Relena Peacecraft, it however is still unclear why he suddenly felt the need to do so after having served as bodyguard." She drew in a breath as the close of her announcement, and Luc found himself doing likewise.

What was this they were spouting? Heero had died? It didn't seem possible to Luc. Sure the he hadn't been in the greatest condition, but what had caused Heero's sudden turn for the worse? None of this sounded right to Luc's ears, but what else was there? Had Heero managed to somehow change all their minds? It didn't seem possible with all Luc knew about the situation, but wasn't it the only answer—as unbelievable as it might be—out there?

"I'll now take a few question," Une opened the floor, and a surge of voices overwhelmed all other sounds, as everyone shouted to be heard. It was a shocking announcement for all, but Luc thought none more so than himself. He took a slow drink of his orange juice, trying to understand all of this.

They were lying, that much Luc would have bet his life on, but why? And did they plan on leaving him in the dark? It occurred to Luc then that this must have been John's work, and his grip on the glass in his hand tightened dangerously. That man's ethics infuriated Luc, Heero was the enemy, plain and simple. No favours should have been afforded him. But this old doctor saw things differently and continued to interfere. Luc shook with his pent-up frustration, how he hated Heero for all that had happened; Luc had not even begun to pay that bastard back for the pain he had caused.

Blinking in sudden shock, Luc looked down to his bleeding hand, he had crushed his glass without even realising it. Wincing in pain, Luc stepped away from the mess and moved to his kitchen, trying to remove what of the glass that he could into his garbage. The pain overpowered the emotions, drowning them for a time. Rinsing his hand with warm water Luc reached for his portable phone, and dialled Sally's number from memory, determined to get some answers to this whole mess.

The phone rang into his ear continuously, clearly with no answer coming. Luc swore under his breath as he dropped the offending object down beside him, and turned his attention back to his hand. He was going to get to the bottom of this, and find Yuy wherever he was. Even if it meant digging up his grave, though Luc seriously doubted it would have to go that far. There was simply no way Heero could have been dead.

Une remained at the podium, surprised at how long this had been going on for. She had opened the floor to questions once she had finished her statement, and they just seemed to keep coming. A great deal of them were reworded questions from another report that she had refused to answer from the one who came before. They were certainly determined, but then it didn't matter where in the world you went the press was always the same, they would never take no for an answer. Une was feeling her patience slip with each passing minute. How much longer should she really let this continue?

"Commander, can you tell us what the next step is?" A female voice managed to rise above the holler of the crowed. "What will be done now with Yuy's remains?"

The question was no surprise to Une, it would have come up with anyone, but it caused such an anger to rise within that she was hard pressed to keep her mask in place. They were completely heartless, it didn't matter any longer that Heero 'had' been a human being like everyone else, deserving at least a little respect despite what he had done in life. Drawing in a calming breath without appearing too, Une readied a response in her mind. "As with every human being he will be accorded the respect that is due. His body will be cremated, and buried in a numbered plot of the city's cemetery." Une looked out over the room, dreading the next words she had to say, "Are there any other questions?"

The silence that had overcome the room as she answered was once more overpowered by the roar of so many voices. With the floor once more opened, she could heard dozens of questions related to the last that she had answered, none of them worth paying any attention too. But a voice rose up from them all, asking a question Une was surprised she had not heard earlier.

"Commander, how has Miss Peacecraft taken to this news?" A male reporter asked hand raised above his head to draw attention to himself.

Une took a brief moment before she answered the question, "Relena like everyone is relieved to know that the peace is now secured once more. At the same time she wished this could have turned out differently, that she might have been able to face Yuy, and understand why he chose to shoot her." She felt that was the best answer to give on the matter. Had Heero actually died without giving any information, Une was sure that it would have consumed Relena being unable to know for sure what had happened that day. She and Heero had just been too close together for that incident to ever be put behind her without the truth.

Gathering the folder she had carried into the room, Une drew herself up and looked into the crowed that fell away before her. They had once more began their verbal shoving, but she had had enough. She knew they could easily keep her here for hours, and there was so much more that she needed to be focusing her attention on. "I'm sorry, but this is all I'm going to say on this subject," Une excused herself stepping away from the podium, but not surprised when no one accepted her words. They continued to shout, even after the wooden door closed behind her.

Glancing up from the floor Une came face to face with Nyla, and gave a little start. Internally she berated herself for having not been aware of the other woman's presence. Her irritation however was quickly over come with curiosity, as she wondered what would have brought her secretary all the way down here, to met with her. "Commander, Dante would like to speak with you." There was the answer to her question, but it wasn't quite what Une had been expecting.

Thanks for reading!

**Unexpected Revelations**:

John's steps felt considerably lighter as he walked towards Heero's new room, everything had changed in a way that John had told himself wouldn't be possible. But it was, and Heero was where he should be, receiving the care that he should have had from the beginning. All that had allowed him to sleep soundly during the day, relaxing as he had not been able to do since first meeting the boy in that stark room. The news of Heero's death posted all over the news had caused a few question with Merrian, she had wanted to know if that way the patient he had been watching over. And though he deeply wanted to tell her the truth, John felt it was still a risk—he trusted his wife implicitly—accidents however could still happen. The fact that he was going into work that night was enough to put her questions to rest.

Stepping off the elevator John was surprised to see someone standing outside Heero's room hand posed over the keypad but remaining unmoving. As John drew closer he saw it to be none other than the President of the Colonies Quatre, the young man's soft blond hair fell over his eyes shielding them from John's view. John thought the youth completely lost in thought but as he stepped closer he noted a distinct change in the Quatre's stance, he knew he wasn't alone. John felt an instant wave of protectiveness wash over him, but he pulled it up, wanting more to know why Quatre was just standing there.

"Mr President?" he started cautiously.

Quatre's head came up slowly, eyes looking to John, they were concealing what the youth was really thinking, "Please just Quatre."

"Alright," he responded easily eyes traveling to the closed door before Quatre. "How long have you been standing here?" was his next question, he wanted to start the conversation but couldn't think of anything else to start with.

"I uh…" he glanced down at his watched and smiled sheepishly, "half an hour."

John nodded in understanding, taking a carefully step closer, "Any reason why you haven't gone in?"

"I don't think I can face him…" Quatre's head dropped in shame at that admission.

"You know he won't be awake?" John attempted to ease, his early protectiveness for Heero's benefit dissolving in the face of this young man's obvious guilt. A part of him wanted to keep them away from Heero for what they had done, but what would that solve? Nothing it would only be hurting Heero, the boy's reaction to Duo was enough to prove that.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	30. Unexpected Revelations

**Mistake Words**

**AN**: I'm so sorry! Alright a show of hands whose tired of hearing me say that? (laughs) well believe me if I could change it instantly I would! I want to thank each and every one of you for all your encouragement and patience. THANK YOU! So without further delay here's the next chapter, and I'll do my best to get the next to all of you quickly! Thanks again, please continue to bear with me!

**Thanks to Pious Knight!**

**Sage-Doomhunter**: Well thank you very much! A first you say? I'm honoured. I was really happy to read your comments on their guilt, I was really concerned that things were going to become repetitive with so many characters reacting to this news. Hurray for reviewing during school (laughs) I've done that a few times when I was in school. Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this chapter too!

**Sakura-Blossom-Cilla-85**: (smiles) thanks for the review! I hope to get Ash back in the story in less than ten chapters, (laughs) fingers crossed. Thanks again!

**reiniku**: Luc has to be the most evil character I've ever tried to write, I'm rather pleased with how he turned out and reader reaction to him. You're right though he won't be tortured to death by gremlins, but I hope you will be happy with what happens to him. I'm something like four chapters ahead of what's being posted, and I can tell you Luc is no more (smiles). Ah yes Duo, it's still going to be a little while for him, but they will talk and things will slowly get better, I assure you there will be much of Duo's funness in later chapters (smiles) he's one of the fun characters to write. If you ever have any other questions feel free ask I'll do my best to answer them!

**D3**: Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying it! I hope you enjoy the next 29 chapters as much as the first (laughs) and however many more come out after that. Thanks again for reviewing

**Starcat1**: (bow) thank you so much! Such a relief to know I have such understanding readers behind me on this! Wow thanks for the compliment on Ash (smiles) his character has become so strong in my mind he's been making appearance in other stories I'm working on albeit under a different name (laughs) I have to admit the thought of bringing him back earlier than I expected made me nervous, as I was wracking my brains trying to think if it would cause any major problems with the story later one. Thankfully I don't think it will (smiles) besides having him back is really going to help Heero. So thank you again!

**Tiger Shinigami**: I always like writing press scenes since I think they're so silly for being so bloody determined, when I watch them in real life (laughs). (sniffs) what a sad first meeting Duo and Ash would have in your world (smiles evilly) I think you'll actually like how their first meeting goes…but I'm not sure I should give you any hints about it…Thanks so much for the review!

**Rikothedeathangel**: Thank you for being so understanding about the lateness of my chapters! I hope you enjoy this one as much as the last, and I really hope I can get the next out to all of you a little sooner than this one. Thanks again for the review!

**Raizard333**: Thanks so much for reviewing! Relena as Heero's bodyguard (smiles) images of her tackling Luc are rather amusing. I don't really want to give to much away in regards to Luc, and what's to come, but he won't be around for much longer. Zero is a concern but so is the Inner Circle, I'd say they're both obstacles, but at the moment there isn't much they can do. Thanks again!

**Rekkaboziegirl**: Wow thank you so much! What a compliment! Thank you! Luc hit by a bus (laugh) wouldn't that seem a bit anticlimactic? Thanks so much for the review, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and how I choose to deal with Luc when it comes up (smiles)

**Love'sAngel**: Thank you for the review, sorry it took so long to come out. Can you imagine the revolt from the readers if I was to kill Heero off after all I've done to him so far? I think it's safe to say he'll live (smiles) thanks again for the review!

**Squall-l-l**: Thank you so much! Which reunion the one with Ash and Heero? If so that's still a little while away, maybe ten chapters? Probably less though, at least I hope. Thanks so much for the review, sorry it took me so long!

**ZeroYui**: Thank you! I hope this wait was worth it for you! Ash'll find out the truth but not exactly on his own (smiles) you'll see what I mean in time, hopefully not to many chapters! Thank you so much for reading!

**Ghostreader**: you changed your name? does this mean you died (laughs) I hope not! I don't know why but I always liked the idea of having a Shadowreader (smiles) call me crazy, but aren't we all? Thanks for the review! I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint!

**little princess**: (smiles) thanks for the review, I wasn't actually wondering why people liked them, I was just surprised and pleased that they were so well liked. Ash and Dante aren't the bad guys, they're good guys, Inner Circle are the bad guys…though I haven't really introduced you to any of them (laughs) (coughs) and I don't really tend to (coughs). Sorry the update took me so long, but I hope it was worth the wait! No worries about the apologies, I'm working on writing chapter 35, and Quatre Zechs and Relena are really the only ones who have gone in and made that reconciliation, but the other's are coming! Thanks again for the review! And cookies, especially during this time of lent (smiles) and I don't get that many!

**ashley R.**: I'm sorry I didn't update soon! I hope this chapter was worth the wait!

**Elly**: Thanks for the review! It'll take time for Heero to get back to where he was, he's in a pretty bad way right now, but he'll get better I promise that. Sorry I took so long! I hope this is worth it, and Thanks for the review!

**Kalorna Enera**: (bows) thank you, thank you…wait I'm not finished (runs back to computer starts madly typing) Yep other pilots will be play more prominent rolls now, but it'll take me a while to really being them in, since I need them to make up with Heero first. Thanks for John (smiles) and thanks for reviewing! Hope you like this chapter!

**Nicky**: Thank you so much! Sorry this chapter took so long, I don't think there's really any Heero Relena moments in this chapter, but they are coming slowly but surely. (smiles) I just wrote their first kiss, since they came back together…but that's not for another four chapters. The rebuilding of their relationship is going to take some time. Thanks for reviewing!

**angelofdarkness**: Thank you so much! Thank you also for being so patient with me, I hate making all of you wait for the next chapter! I'm sorry that a true happy ending is still a while away, but some happiness put into the story here and there ought to be enough right? Thank you again!

**Horselvr**: I'm sorry it took me so long! Thanks for the email! I'm glad you like this story that I'm actually getting somewhere with, and I want to apologise again for Nanashi! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**merlyn1382**: Thanks you for the review! Ash'll find out soon….not sure on the exact chapter yet, but it'll happen, I hope you enjoy it when it does! Thank you again!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing

**Unexpected Revelations**

Une lowered herself into a chair behind her desk, turning the leather chair towards the screen of her vid phone, a tiny blinking light told her a call was waiting. She hesitated however to accept it, because she didn't know if she would be able to lie to him. Of course, she didn't have any choice, he more than anyone couldn't know that Heero was alive, not unless she could be sure of his loyalties. It suddenly struck her how she had entered into a relationship with a man she couldn't possibly know everything about, who could very well have been fighting against the peace. Une banished those thoughts instantly, Dante had destroyed Zero, proving that he was a peaceful man, not out to take over the world. To be near him, to consider him a part of her life, Une knew she had to believe that no matter what.

Still it wasn't easy keeping things from him, though she was reluctant to let the relationship deepen, she found it increasingly difficult to say no to Dante when he asked something of her. This would not be easy to deal with, but putting it off would only make it harder. So drawing in what was supposed to be a calming breath, Une pressed the flashing button, and watched as the screen lit, revealing Dante's handsome features.

His face was grave, exposing nothing of what he was truly thinking. It was a mask much like her own, carefully constructed, and warn reluctantly before the one he loved. "How long?" the question was so open ended Une hardly knew where to begin, and she would have dearly liked to play dumb, but she knew, had spent enough time with Dante or just simply watching him. There was no mistaking what he was asking her.

"We had him in custody for five days before he died," she told him evenly, not letting too much emotion show, but at the same time not being a soulless shell either

"So then when you called…" something flashed in Dante's eyes but it moved too quickly for Une to put her finger on.

"Yes, he was here." Une fought not to look away, she was not going to show weakness to anyone, no matter how their actions pulled at the invisible strings of her heart. Something Dante had proved a master of.

"Where did you find him?" it was a logical question, and one Une felt comfortable in answer…if not truthfully. If Dante were to know it was his colony that would only prove to complicate matters further.

She sighed leaning back in her chair, "He slipped up, we discovered him taking refuge on a small satellite, near the edge of the L3 quadrant, he was already in bad shape Dante…" She left it at that, Une had already explained to the press what killed Heero, and if was far easier to lie to them than it was to Dante.

He shook his head slowly, "I just can't believe it…" his eyes showed a definite emotion then, a great regret, "Ash won't take this well."

Ash, Une had learned a good deal about this man over the past months and not just from Dante, but Relena also. They both had different things to say about the man, but what Une knew for certain was that Ash cared a great deal for Heero, and had watched out for him. From what Dante had told her, they actually had Ash to thank for keeping Heero alive this long, not that they would be able to do that any time soon. She felt a pang or regret also, at having to leave this man in his pain, but nothing could be risked at this point, besides it was Heero's wish. That alone was the least they could do for him right now.

Not really sure what to offer to Dante, Une just spoke the first words that came to mind, "We did everything we could to keep him alive. It was so we could bring him to justice, but let Ash know all the same…"

"I will," he blinked seeming to come back to himself a little, "Speaking of which, I'm sure he's heard the news, I should really check on him, see how he's doing." It was clear Dante wasn't looking forward to the encounter, but at the same time there was an iron resolve, he would do what was necessary, and watch out for his friend. "My Lady, I hope we'll be able to speak again soon," he told her rather formally, as he could often become, it had seemed a game at first, treating her almost as Treize did. Yet now it felt true, real, distant, and Une regretted all the more the wall of lies between them, invisible or not, she could see them.

"Goodbye…" she breathed the word softly, allowing herself a moment of honest feeling while facing strong and determined man, one who had managed to steal her heart, before she noticed the conquest.

Une took several moments to gather herself after, her eyes staring off but not really seeing. Her day had only just begun, and still there was so much to do, so many people to contend with, especially with the news of Heero's death. Une knew the announcement alone would not be the end. There would be endless calls from people trying to discover more. Sure they would not all be directed at her, but she was going to need to brief her staff on some of the finer details so the media would be sated, if only a little.

Pulling both hands down her face, Une turned herself back to the phone. There was still an important matter to be taken care of. Perhaps she should have dealt with it before hand, but it had not occurred to her until now. It bothered Une that she hadn't thought of this before. Her mind had been racing to catch up with all that had happened earlier, and now she wondered how she was too keep it secret. Now that she was given a moment to breathe, Une reached for her computer making a quick search through the database for the required number. Finding it almost immediately Une turned to the phone.

As though he had been waiting for this very phone call, Luc answered before the first ring had even completed. His expression was oddly calm. A little offended perhaps, but calm nonetheless. She could still see the remnants of the surprise he must have felt the minute he saw the announcement. "You didn't think I might want to know about this?" he asked, not bothering to even say hello. His superior tone irritated Une to no end, but she wasn't going to let it show. She could not cause him to become suspicious. He had to believe the lies she was about to tell him.

"He took a turn for the worst during the night," she began, keeping her eyes on him the entire time. "It was very unexpected. I'm sorry that I couldn't reach you before the press conference."

"What did him in?" Luc asked callously, Une was not surprised by his tone. Heero was after all nothing more than a traitor, who had tried to kill Relena the woman Luc had professed to love.

"A number of things I'm told." In all honestly Une was truly shocked and grateful that Heero was not dead, considering how long he had been in this condition. "With the condition he was in it was no surprise, his body simply couldn't take any more. I'm told the official cause of death was infection, something his weakened immune system couldn't handle." She hoped silently that would be accepted. Une knew there was nothing in her tone or posture to say otherwise, she was too proficient a lair for that.

"I see…" he mussed to himself, his eyes leaving Une's face. She thought she saw within them a roaring anger and hatred, but his emotions were brought immediately under control once more. "And what now?" he question with a disturbing calm.

"His body will be buried, and this matter put behind us. You may take a day or so leave and then return to your usual work" not entirely sure what he had been referring too, Une chose to cover all the bases.

Luc shook his head slowly. "I'd prefer to return now."

"Suit yourself" she responded. Seeing their conversation was at an end, she cut the signal and sat back in her chair. Une remembered the first time she had laid eyes on Heero. It was a memory burned into her mind. It was something she had not been expecting. She could clearly see the switchblade knife sanding erect in Heero's hand. This caused her to pause as a question entered her mind. How had it come to be there? Process of elimination only took a moment to pin that crime squarely on Luc's shoulders. No one else would've, or could've. Thankfully, Luc had near endless hours alone with Heero to make him suffer for his crimes.

It seemed hard to believe that this doctor could do such a thing to an unarmed and helpless man. Luc had proven himself to be an intense, and at some points obsessive individual - especially where Relena was concerned. Une remembered learning of their short lived relationship, not being an expert in the subject she had withheld her judgment. Privately she had not liked the way Luc looked at Relena. Would Relena's former relationship with Heero be enough to drive Luc to such extremes? Une didn't doubt it. She had met men like Luc before and they were compulsive, and vicious. It struck Une then just what sort of man she was allowing into her agency.

Luc was a man not to be trusted; one who had committed and act of torture and perhaps more. She resolved herself to look into that and find out just exactly what he had done. Her stomach turned slight at her realisation, but there was no help for it. She could not bring Luc to justice without exposing more of what had happened with Heero, and she couldn't afford to do that. The world had to know that Heero had died and then forget, or else all Heero's work would be for nothing. These last three years of pain would go to waste. Une was not going to see that happen, there would be a time to deal with Luc and until then there was no choice but to welcome the devil in.

MWMWMWM

Relena woke slowly, her body rousing itself form the world of sleep at a leisurely pace, that was, until she remembered where she was and what had brought her to be there. Relena sat bolt upright in the bed she had been just moments before soundly asleep in. It took her a moment to register her surroundings, remembering that Wufei had given her the use of his room during the day, when she could no longer keep her eyes open. She had not wanted to leave Heero but had been forced to admit she could not stay sitting by his side either. Running tired fingers through her hair Relena offered herself a little more time to come fully awake.

The curtains had been drawn, but Relena could see that the sun was only just now beginning to set, casting a fiery light wherever it could manage to slip in. Her cloths from the day before lay on a chair near Wufei's large bed, he had also lent her one of his shirts so that she might sleep more comfortably. Relena's fingers found the collar bringing it closer to her nose, his scent was strong all around her, and it reminded her somewhat of Heero's, but it lacked that untamed quality. Slipping from the sheets Relena stretched her arms up over her head, and quickly glanced at a clock wanting to know what sort of time she had to visit with Heero.

A soft knock on the door caught Relena's attention and she saw Trowa's head peek around the edge. His eyes were as devoid as Relena ever remembered seeing them, but somehow it felt different, her guard felt more distant. Yet after yesterday she couldn't blame him, they were all still in shock. She smiled a greeting to him, and Trowa stepped fully into the room, he carried a bag with him, and when he came within reach offered it too her. "A change of clothes," he told her simply before turning back the way had come.

"Thanks Trowa," she called after him, somewhat unsettled by his behaviour. She knew that everything couldn't fall back to the way it had been three years ago, that it was going to be a long process to get them anywhere. However she was being to think now that these first few months were going to be far harder than any moment during the last three years. Made more so by the fact that Heero wasn't—at the moment at least—in a position to speak to them.

With a sigh, Relena walked into Wufei's bathroom, and got the water running nice and warm for a quick shower. In her mind she tried to envision speaking with Heero again, what they would say to one another, how they would bridge the gap that had formed. It was not an easy thing to try and picture, her mind kept hitting stumbling blocks that seemed impossible to get around. A fleeting image entered her mind then, of Heero softly kissing her, and she blushed sadly, they were a long way from that.

Stepping from the shower Relena dried and dressed quickly, happy with what Trowa had picked for her. A simple pare of jeans and a soft green sweater, two things he had commented thinking look really nice on her, but she had not been often able to wear due to the profession necessity of her station. She smiled to herself, she was perhaps the only woman in the world to have so many wonderful men looking out for her. They weren't the most common men, but that's what made them all so special to her. No matter where she was or which of them she was with Relena always felt safe and secure.

Unwilling to take any more time Relena quickly left Wufei's apartment behind and walked the short distance down to Heero's room. Her fingers hesitated only a moment over the keypad as she tried to remember what the numbers were, unlike John and Sally, she didn't have a key card which made for quicker access and would work even if the combination numbers were changed. The door unlocked and Relena quickly stepped inside, noticing the room was dimly lit, but enough so that she could make out Heero's sleeping form, and Wufei where he stood watching. The former pilot looked up at her entrance meeting her part way.

"Did you sleep alright?" he asked, looking down at her.

She smiled, "Yes," Relena studied his face wondered when Wufei had let his hair fall loose around his shoulders, it suited him like that but so did having it pulled back. But then the same could be said for all the pilots. She came to Heero's bedside looking down on his gaunt face trying still with little success to convince herself that this was indeed Heero Yuy. "Has there been any change?" she whispered the question, a part of her concerned about waking the sleeping pilot though she doubted that would happen.

"No, we're just going to have to be patient," he told her just as softly as he came to rest behind her left shoulder.

"I know…" she breathed her hand reaching out of its own accord to lightly stroke his face, moving his hair from his closed eyes. "I just want to be able tell him how sorry I am…"

"You can't tear yourself up over this Relena. Heero wouldn't want that," Wufei's hand on her shoulder was a welcomed strength. She removed her hand for Heero's face but on impulse lowered it to his chest, just above where he heart beat steadily. The feel of it beating against her hand was more reassuring than anything else could ever hope to be. "Relena, we managed to cancel you appointments for today, but we won't be able to keep doing that, I know it's hard but"

"I know," Relena cut in not taking her eyes from Heero. "I need to act like nothing's happened…" she withdrew her had from Heero's thin chest, and turned to look at Wufei. "There's something I need to look into, you'll call me if anything changes?"

"Of course."

Relena stepped past Wufei reluctantly making her way towards the door. She didn't really want to leave Heero, but if everything was going to have to return to 'normal' than she knew she had to make the best use of her time that she could. Since learning the truth, Relena had wanted to know what happened to Heero during the time she had been kept from him. Thoughts of it had ridden in the back of her mind, and she felt now was the only time that she might actually be able to find out.

"Where are you going?" Wufei's voice called her to a halt.

"Archives, I want to see what happened to him," she told him, her voice already taking on a firm note, Relena knew Wufei wasn't going to improve.

As she had expected Wufei was already shaking her head, "Relena you really shouldn't, it'll only upset you."

"I'm not asking your permission Wufei," Relena answered simply managing to keep her voice low despite how she was feeling.

"You won't find those files in archives, we couldn't afford to have them found by anyone, so they've been encoded and hidden away." His response sounded ever so slightly smug to Relena's ears, and if was an effort not to let her actual anger show.

"Don't you think I'm owed this Wufei?" she demanded "I was forced to wait in the dark! I want to know from what you were keeping me!" Despite her best efforts volume was beginning to enter her voice.

Wufei took a gentle hold of her arm and began walking towards the door, so they could finish the conversation in the hall. Relena willing followed, though she pulled her arm from Wufei's hand. Once out in the hall Wufei turned to Relena, "It won't solve anything if you watch that, you don't need to see it!"

"I don't want to solve anything! I just want to help him!"

"How could this help!" Wufei's emotions were beginning to show now, frustration mostly as he started deeply into her eyes, his own onyx ones burning.

Relena felt tears pricking at her eyes, she knew Heero had been tortured. Wufei had never gone into specifics and at the time she would not have wanted him to, but now she just felt the strong need to know, she didn't want to make any missteps when Heero finally did wake, perhaps she was just rationalising her morbid sense of curiosity. But Relena did know she was not going to be satisfied until she had seen those files. "I don't know Wufei, but just give me this one thing," the fire had left her voice as she looked away from Wufei's intense gaze.

Silence was her only response for several minutes as Wufei really seemed to think this over, but he finally sighed in resignation. His hand once more took Relena's slender arm as he guided her towards the room right next to Heero's. Opening the door revealed an amazing monitoring room, obviously designed for the room right next door. The one Heero lay within, and information was constantly updating itself on the screens. Wufei sat himself in front of the computers and turned his attention to one of them in particular. His fingers flew over the keys as he searched for the concealed files. It only took him a few moments to find them, and he got up from the chair.

"I'll leave you with it, Trowa will come to get you to take you back to your house," Wufei said with an sigh, it was clear he still wasn't happy with this.

"Thank you," she whispered slowly, as he turned to look at the screen, seeing the room that Heero had been held with as he was brought into it for the first time. The image was frozen showing Sally waiting impassively by the table as Wufei holding Heero's form in his arms as he strode towards the table, Zechs, Trowa, and Duo around him. Relena blinked wondering how long she had just been staring at the image of Heero, he didn't look to be alive, blood was everywhere. Glancing up Relena found herself to be alone in the room, and she began the footage.

MWMWMWM

Trowa glanced at his watch as he passed through the halls of the agency. Wufei had called him several hours back asking him to come in and take Relena home at the end of the day. But that had left him with the vast majority of the late afternoon and early evening free to himself, so he had spent his time at the circus performing with Catharine. Raking one hand through his still damp hair Trowa entered the elevator that would take him to their private floor of the base. The ride felt eerie to him, as though the air became more oppressive the closer he came to his destination. Was this what it was going to be like from now on? Now that Heero was back with them?

It was too much to rethink the past years and suddenly forget, he didn't think any of them could, perhaps Relena and Wufei might have the easiest time of it. But for the rest of them, none of this was going to be easy. A part of Trowa wanted to be furious with Heero for having done this, that he would see fit to fool them all, and then come back to them taking everything they threw at him with silent acceptance. Trowa's fist clenched tightly at his side, it shouldn't be this way, but he couldn't help these emotions. They had plagued him ever since he had learned the truth, there was simply no avoiding it, he was going to have to face them sometime.

Stepping out onto the floor Trowa strode down the silent halls, pausing briefly at the door to Heero's room. He felt somewhat drawn to enter, but resisted, there was no way Heero would be awake, and if he wasn't what was the point? Nothing could be said or done at the present moment, so why stress over it? He tried desperately to convince himself of that but it was a futile effort. Moving on, Trowa came to the second door, the one behind which Relena waited, apparently watching the footage form the room Heero had been held in. The significance of such and act was lost on Trowa, that was until he stepped into the room, seeing with his eyes first hand what it actually meant.

"I trusted…you…enough…then…to…sur…render…" the words hoarse almost to beyond recognition were painfully familiar to Trowa. "…trust…me…now?"

"No!" his own voice sounded strange to his ears hallow, lacking any form of life, and he wondered briefly if this was how he sounded to everyone.

His brief thoughts were broken however as Relena turned to look at him, tears tracked their way down her face, but there was almost no sadness in those crystal eyes, just a fiery light that grew in intensity when she lay them upon Trowa. "All he wanted was your trust…just to explain what really happened…" her words were low, but they cut Trowa as deeply as if they had been shouted so all the world could hear his failure.

"Do you think for one minute after what you've done that you deserve any sort of mercy from us?" As if to punctuate the moment Trowa's harsh words continued to ring out in the background, causing the pilot to flinch away from them. "Do you even realise what you've done to Relena? You nearly destroyed her life that day! The only thing you can do for us now is die, and end this chapter in all our lives." He wanted to hang his head, but could not bring himself to show that sort of reaction. She was right there was no denying it, but still what he had known then, what Heero had lead him to believe...

_No!_

Trowa mentally shook himself. There was simply no justifying it not now or ever. Swallowing hard Trowa tried to gather his scattered thoughts, trying not to see the look in Relena's eyes while at the same time trying not to avoid her gaze either. "I need to take you home…" he told her, his voice more dead to his ears that the one he had heard in the recording. Relena brushed at her eyes appearing for a moment to be considering refusing, but did finally come to her feet. She crossed over to him, and pushed past without a word.

He felt a stab in his heart at her anger, and it was something he could only just understand, but the even greater pain was directed at what he had done to Heero. Any hope of every being able to mend the breech between them seemed all but gone now. A tremor ran through Trowa then as he followed Relena down the hall, past Heero's room, feeling as though he was leaving it for the last time. It didn't seem possible that he'd ever return, what could he hope to say? That Heero would be willing to accept after that?

MWMWMWW

John's steps felt considerably lighter as he walked towards Heero's new room. Everything had changed in a way that John had told himself wouldn't be possible. But it was, and Heero was where he should be, receiving the care that he should have had from the beginning. All that had allowed him to sleep soundly during the day, relaxing as he had not been able to do since first meeting the boy in that stark room. The news of Heero's death posted all over the news had caused a few question with Merrian, she had wanted to know if that way the patient he had been watching over. And though he deeply wanted to tell her the truth, John felt it was still a risk—he trusted his wife implicitly—accidents however could still happen. The fact that he was going into work that night was enough to put her questions to rest.

Stepping off the elevator, John was surprised to see someone standing outside Heero's room, hand posed over the keypad but remaining still. As John drew closer he saw it to be none other than the President of the Colonies Quatre Raberba Winner. The young man's soft blond hair fell over his eyes, shielding them from John's view. John thought the youth completely lost in thought but as he stepped closer he noted a distinct change in the Quatre's stance, he knew he wasn't alone. John felt an instant wave of protectiveness wash over him, but he pulled it up, wanting more to know why Quatre was just standing there.

"Mr President?" he started cautiously.

Quatre's head came up slowly, eyes looking to John, they looked as though they were concealing what the youth was really thinking, "Please, just Quatre."

"Alright," he responded easily eyes traveling to the closed door before Quatre. "How long have you been standing here?" he wanted to start the conversation but couldn't think of anything else to start with.

"I uh…" he glanced down at his watched and smiled sheepishly, "half an hour."

John nodded in understanding, taking a careful step closer, "Any reason why you haven't gone in?"

"I don't think I can face him…" Quatre's head dropped in shame at that admission.

"You know he won't be awake?" John attempted to ease Quatre's first attempt at reconciliation, his early protectiveness for Heero's benefit dissolving in the face of this young man's obvious guilt. A part of him wanted to keep them away from Heero for what they had done, but what would that solve? Nothing it would only be hurting Heero, the boy's reaction to Duo was enough to prove that.

"I know…it's just…" he looked at a loss for words at the moment, and John felt for him just then.

"Is there somewhere where we can sit down and talk?" he would have suggested Heero's room if entering hadn't been the problem from the beginning.

Quatre nodded his head turning to head further down the hall, "Right this way," he motioned for John to follow after. The old doctor strode along slowly behind him, watching the set of the young man closely. It really amazed him that someone so young had been given so much to carry on his shoulders. Quatre selected a door from all the rest seemingly at random, and punched in the door's code. They walked into the lounge together, and John was impressed by what his eyes saw.

The room was incredibly well furnished, and appeared to have every up to date electronic toy in the known world. What they could possibly need with all this was far beyond John, but then he wasn't here to gawk. Turning his attention fully on Quatre John took a seat across from him, in one of the plush chairs as the young President took the couch. Silence hung between them for several minutes as John waited for Quatre to begin, but longer it stretched on the more John thought he was the one who should begin. It took John a moment to think of what to say, nothing in this was easy, but he quickly decided to settle with what he knew to be true.

"He doesn't blame you," John offered.

"How can you be so sure?" Quatre asked wringing his hands no longer looking at John. "After all we've done…everything we've said to him. How could he?"

"I heard it from his own mouth Quatre, he's never hated you," he said it gently yet still managed to make it firm, he wanted to get this part of the conversation behind them.

Quatre's head cane up at that, his eyes looking just a little bit hopeful at those words but still there was doubt. It glowed almost seeming to flicker as though it didn't know whether or not to just give up. But a moment later Quatre was shaking his head adamantly, "There's just no way to recover from this. What can you say? I'm sorry? That's something you say when you forgot to call someone." He pulled a hand down his face, "It certainly doesn't help most of the time. Now it'd just sounds ridiculous" Quatre was one his feet then, pacing across the room.

"We screwed up three years of our lives! I didn't even realise what he was telling me back on that day, he chose me!" his agitated steps halted as he turned to face John, his expression horrified, "He chose me! Knowing if any of us would understand what he meant I would! And I named him a traitor! Sorry! How can that possibly change anything!" his voice had risen to a shout.

"It's a start…" John offered softly not knowing what else to say. He couldn't deny what Quatre said but still everything had to start somewhere.

The anger and frustration within Quatre seemed to melt away at that and he sank back down to a sitting position with a sigh. "We were never given a chance to make the small mistakes…" he smiled sadly shaking his head. "Never given the opportunity to learn from them…all the small flaws were trained out of us." He sighed again running a hand through his hair, "…so we were just left to make big mistakes and wonder where we went wrong…" the last was little more than a mumbled.

John felt his heart go out to the youth across from him, but at the same time curiosity rose up within him at what Quatre had said. "Trained?" the tone in which the word had been spoken sounded foreign to John's ears as he knew the context was not simple business school.

Quatre just nodded his head in silence, his eyes falling once more, "Yeah…trained," the word sounded evil, like something one would rather not say. "To do what was needed…"

There was something here, something dark, deeply hidden, but wanted to come out. John could just feel it, the young President wanted to speak, but it was clearly as difficult a conversation as the one they had been having about Heero. "What was needed Quatre?"

The youth's head came up in surprise, he obviously didn't realise he had spoken that last part out loud. He sat there for several moments just considering John, eyes appearing to try and bore into the old doctor's head. John sat patiently under Quatre's gaze, assuming something was going to come from this. "We were needed not to be human," he said a tremor running through him as his eyes grew distant for a brief moment. "They didn't for a moment considered the fact that we were all still children…most of us lacking any sort of family connections to give us safety and support." Quatre's eyes came up revealing a deep sadness that went beyond words, "And for the rest of us, that family was ruthlessly stolen away…"

John started at this boy in shock, his mind unable to reconcile the young Presidents age, with the jaded way he spoke. It was clear he had been through a great deal during his short life, just as it had been clear for Heero, but what had been done to these boys? What exactly was it that Quatre was making reference too? His obvious confusion was not lost to the youth, as a sad smile took his features briefly before he questioned, "No one's told you yet have they?" It sounded—strangely enough—as though he expected that, but was still surprised by it.

"I'm finding out now, there's a lot I haven't been told," John commented somewhat tiredly, rubbing at the side of his face.

Quatre offered him a faint smile, his eyes looked gratefully for the distraction from what they have been discussing earlier. "We, Relena's bodyguards and I were the Gundam Pilots," it was a simple statement as Quatre clasped his hands together before him, but it left John speechless. All he could do was stare at this young boy, who couldn't possibly been any older than twenty. He was one of the brave warriors, the terrorist, the saviours, who had stood up against everyone despite what was said against them? It seemed too much to imagine, they had indeed only been children at that time, to John they were still little more than children. What place did they have fighting a war? To be the sole hope of all the colonies? What sort of pressure was that to put on a child? John was horrified and he knew it showed.

"We were all chosen for different reason, discovered among seemingly impossible odds. But all of us went willingly, whether that was because we didn't have anything left to lose, or it was the only thing we had ever known, we were all drawn into the war." Quatre's eyes returned to his clasped hands, his shoulders hunched up as though he were trying to fold in on himself protect vulnerable areas from attacks that could not be seen. "I think out of all of us, at least where training is concerned Wufei and I had it the easiest."

John felt stunned, as though he had been punched in the gut, and was still waiting for his breath to return to him. There was simply no easy way to digest all he had been told so far, and filter through all the questions that suddenly appeared. One thing however stood out clear in John's mind, he wanted to know about Heero, as much information as he could attain. That boy had struck John from the very first, pulling at every parental instinct he had nurtured over the long years with his wife and children. "What…" his voice failed him, as nerves took over, a part of him already knew this was something he'd probably rather not know, but that was not going to stop him now. "What do you know about Heero?"

Silence was his answer as Quatre flinched at the sound of Heero's name, he shook his head slowly. "Our pasts have never been something we willingly talk about…" he began slowly, his voice so soft John had to lean in to hear him. "Sally and Une know the most about each of us, but I've managed to piece together some things," Quatre glanced up through the tops of his eyes staring at John an unsure light shinning, in those sea green eyes.

"Just tell me what you know," the old doctor prompted gently wanting to know whatever he could, who knew what might help him in dealing with this boy.

Quatre swallowed hard, but nodded his head, "No records of a family, it's like he just appeared out of nowhere." His head came up and John could see Quatre felt outrage at their collective pasts, "As I understand it Heero was raised by an assassin for a good deal of his young life. But at some point he was discovered by Dr J and then his real training began."

"Real training?" John didn't like the sound of those words, the tone Quatre had used made them ominous.

"To be the Perfect Solider," Quatre affirmed with a nod of his head, "That's what they tried to create, a creature with no emotions, and an unstoppable killing machine."

John was beyond words starting long and hard at this youth, all he could do was picture one of his own children in that situation, having his humanity stripped from him like layers of protective clothing. It was no wonder there was such a defensive look within Heero's eyes, nor why his trust was so difficult to earn. "How old was he when this happened?" John found himself asking a tremor obvious within his voice.

"Ah…" Quatre's eyes turned ceiling ward clearly trying to think, "Near as I can tell from dates, probably around the time he was six to eight. Short of asking him there's really no way to know for sure."

"Six?" he was shocked, a child of that age should know nothing of killing and death! Who in this world could ever be so heartless? As disgusted as he was to admit it, it wasn't unheard of, children had been used in many of the past wars. John tried not to picture it, he didn't want to dwell on it, however another question entered his head, one he was sure Quatre would be able to answer. "Did the training work?"

The President blinked his hands parting so he could rub at one eye, "To some extent, yes, I think it did." Quatre began leaning back on the couch so both his hand rested outstretched on his knees. "Heero was willing to go to extreme lengths to complete a mission, once even self destructing…" his eyes suddenly fell at the realisation of his words. "I guess that hasn't changed much now…" he whispered.

_Self destructed?_ Threw the news of the war John had become acutely away of just what that meant, as had the rest of the world. How had this boy survived that? That event though was long in the past, which told John that either it hadn't happened the way Quatre just implied, or Heero was something beyond human. It didn't seem possible, but the fact that Heero was here gave John some form of assurance that this boy was not going to falter now. He was going to make it to the end.

Quatre's expression lightened suddenly, "But he was never actually able to kill the way they wanted him too. If he had Relena would have been dead a long time ago," a faded smile took his lips, "She's always loved him, and that's what's managed to pull him through for so long."

John shook his head, trying to clear the fog from his mind that he might actually be able to speak. "I think he's going to need more than just that to see him through this," John managed finally, knowing there inlay the first and largest problem for this former pilot seated before him. Whatever ease and relax Quatre might have gained through there conversation detour, was lost now, as the tension returned, and the boy seemed to close in on himself once more. On impulse John reached out to place his own old and gnarled hand on Quatre's, "All you can do right now is be there for him Quatre, just let him know he hasn't screwed things up beyond repair."

"But isn't that what we did?" Quatre asked softly, not raising his eyes to meet John's.

"Not in his eyes, and how will you come to believe me if you don't see Heero, and let him tell you that himself?" John came to his feet then feeling that it was time Quatre put these fears behind him and actually went to see Heero. "C'mon you need to do this sometime, and I doubt with your schedule you have a lot of time to just stand here."

The President hesitated, a sigh escaping his lips as he slowly followed straightening his suit unconsciously as he did. Together they left the room, though John could tell Quatre was still unsure. All too soon they were standing outside Heero's room, John reached out with his key card swiping it through the reader before Quatre could be given a chance to guilt himself once more. The door slid opened and John's eyes looking in on a still unconscious Heero, and a rather concerned looking Wufei.

"You're late," he greeted in a low voice, stepping away from the edge of Heero's bed.

"Sorry, there was something I needed to take care of," he apologised stepping into the room to reveal Quatre waiting behind him. Looking back at the President John motioned for him to come in, while he moved deeper into the room drawing Wufei with him, to give Quatre a little privacy. "Any change?"

"His temperature's been rising," Wufei began crossing his arms, "But that's about it, I don't think the dose you gave him was enough, withdrawal is still setting in."

"That's alright, I can give him a little more," John eased glancing back to where Quatre sat near to Heero's bed, talking softly to the unconscious boy.

"How'd it go with Sally?" the Chinese man inquired drawing John's attention back.

"It's a start," he stroked his chin with a sigh, "But it's still going to be a long time before she's going to be able to set foot in this room."

"Well at least you got through to one of them," Wufei comment nodding in Quatre's direction, "Like you said, it's a start."

John offered the young man a smile, "Why don't you get some sleep, I can handle things from here."

Wufei nodded his head making his way towards the door, he gave Quatre a soft greeting and the President rose to walk with him. John made his way back to the bed eyes watching the two pilots make their way to the door. Quatre turned back at the last moment, a gentle smile on his youthful face, "Thanks John, for everything. Just remember you now have some very powerful friends, we'll do whatever you need for Heero," he left the room then John's own smile being his only response.

Thanks for Reading!

**A Slow Step Forward**:

_John rinsed his cloth clean, in the warm bowel of water, his eyes looking across Heero's thin bare chest to Sally who had just started to do the same. They had been working in silence, for several moments, it felt like a triumph to John that she was even here. Still it would have been better if Sally were able to relax a little more. John sighed silently to himself and sat himself on the edge of the bed, "I'll hold him while you wash his back?" he made it a suggestion knowing already Sally would want it that way. But at the same time he didn't want to sound like he was forcing anything on her._

_"Alright," she responded her eyes not meeting his._

_Lifting the boy's weightless body, John found it difficult with all his injuries, yet he still managed to raise Heero to him, and gently hold him there. One hand brushed lightly over the boy's back, as he situated himself a little better, and what it ran across caused John to look down in surprise. Heero's left shoulder blade had been scared deeply, "What's this?" he asked of Sally knowing she could lean in for a better look._

_The fingers of one hand brushed lightly over the mark, as she stared at it intently, and John waited for some sort of answer. "It looks like a phoenix," she breathed fingers still tracing the thick scare tissue, "And this looks recent."_

_"He had himself branded with a phoenix?" he looked over the boy's should trying to see for himself. _

_Sally stepped away from the bed, "I don't understand; this isn't something he'd do."_

_John caught himself before he said 'three years can really change a person' he didn't feel that was the most tactful thing to say at the moment. "Are you sure Sally?" he questioned in stead, "There's really know way to know how much he's changed over the years."_

_Despite his gentle tone Sally still winced at his words, he didn't regret them though, nothing good would come from side stepping the truth all the time. She up locking eyes with John if only briefly before her eyes returned to the brand, "He wouldn't have done something like this John, it doesn't fit with who he is."_

_"But something like this, he'd have to have wanted it for it to be here," John tried to reason again, unable to conceive of any other way for such a mark to make it onto Heero's body._

_"Not unless it was done against his will…" she mused softly, one hand making it way to the back of her neck to rub at the muscles there. _

_John gave a small start at that, "Done against his will?" he questioned aloud, "Who would possibly do that? And for what reason?"_

_She shook her head, "I don't know…"_

Morganeth Taren'drel


	31. A Slow Step Forward

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Alright so here we are again, thankfully not as long a wait as the chapter before. I can't thank you all enough for your continued patience! I'm still a fair number of chapters ahead so hopefully once I get a few though the editors we'll have some faster updates.

**Thanks to my editors who make this readable! Pious Knight morgansgirl23 I couldn't post without you two! Thanks so much!**

**Padme Nijiri**: I'm sorry about the long waits, but one of my editors is in university and that makes for a lot of school work, not to mention these last few chapters have been hell to try and right (laughs) I hope you'll continue to be patient with me and enjoy the chapters. Thanks for the review!

**Clarobell**: Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Horselvr**: Never stop talking (laughs) I love rants like that because it's so true! No worries about this story! No matter how bad it gets I fully intend to finish it, I know exactly what's going to happen and when (smile) most of it's actually been written out…by hand mind you, but it'll be finished…if just might take me a few years. Thanks for the review!

**Squall-l-l**: Thank you! I hope this one lives up to the rest!

**Raizard333**: Thanks for the review! You're right of course about the Inner Circle and Zero, but I think I and the characters all hope it doesn't come to war (laughs) Thanks again!

**Rikothedeathangel**: Thank you! (smiles) I hope you like this chapter, sorry this chapter took a little while…probably tired of hearing that…but I hope you're not tired of waiting (smiles) please enjoy this chapter!

**ZeroYui**: Thank you so much! Hope this didn't take too long, I don't think Relena hates Trowa, is greatly disappointed in him yes, but doesn't hate him. I think she actually comes to regret her words to him as much as he might have needed to hear them. Yes Heero and Luc will have a 'meeting' relatively soon, not in the next chapter but in the one after that. Thanks again!

**Kalorna Enera**: Ooooo Chocolate cookie! Thank you! Nope I'm pretty sure he didn't know, I had originally written it so he knew early on, and now I'm not sure why I decided to change it…(laughs) oh well he knows now, and that will help (smiles) Thank you for the review! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**reiniku**: Sorry it took so long, I hope this one didn't take as long, Thank you for reviewing! And I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Sage-Doomhunter**: Thanks for the review! I could never kill Heero off…make you think I might have, yes. But never actually kill him (smiles) Nope this story isn't winding down yet, there's still so much to cover! I'm sorry these chapters are taking so much time but I hope they're worth it, and that you continue to enjoy! Thanks again!

**D3**: She's bothered, they all are, but they've been put in a position where there's not much they can do about it or risk revealing Heero to the world. Luc will be dealt with in time, I hope you continue to enjoy! Thanks for the review!

**Ghostreader**: Thanks so much! Next chapter actually has Zechs coming in to see Heero, so I hope you enjoy it when it comes! I hope this update come under the description of 'soon' (smiles) thanks for the review!

**angelofdarkness**: Thank you so much! (laughs) the worst is over? (evil laughs) that's all I'll say (smiles) I hope your wait in front of your computer hasn't been too long, my apologies if you've put down roots in your chair, I tried to be as quick as I could! Thanks again!

**Morrighan of Crimson and Sable**: Thank you for the review! Sorry if I've made you wait too long! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Sakura Blossom-Cilla-85**: Thanks for the review…short of reading the chapter myself I'm not really sure what the second part of your review is in reference too (laughs) hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks again!

**Eternal fire1**: Thank you so much! (smiles) in my defence I'm actually roughly five chapters ahead of what's being posted, it's the editing that takes time. But you have to comment my editors as I give them a lot to correct (laughs) and one of them is in school (smiles) I couldn't do it without them! As for your question read the beginning of the chapter (smiles) and you'll have your answer! Thanks again!

**Twilight Dusk**: (LAUGHS) I love the song! Made my day! Your reviews make me smile there's just so much in them! Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**thechickenlittle**: Thanks! I hope you make it to this chapter so you can see how much I appreciate your reading!

**lil' demon**: Thank you so much! I'm working on writing chapter 36, and I think Ash will find out Heero's not actually dead in chapter 37 (smiles) so he doesn't have to suffer much longer! Heero's just going to be an angel to deal with as time goes on….yeah right! Thanks again for the review! I totally catch your drift and I'm glad you're enjoying it!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own!

**A Slow Step Forward**

Heero became aware slowly, feeling as though he were struggling his way through a thick fog that fought against his escape, trying to draw him back. But Heero was tired of this endless blackness; he wanted to be free of it if only for a few moments. The further from the fog that Heero climbed the more discomfort he began to feel, yet Heero found this to be a welcoming change to the nothingness, it let him know he was still alive. The progress was slow, so much so that Heero almost gave up on ever reaching his goal. But then suddenly he felt something brush across his body, and there was no turning back. Instincts had taken over.

Despite his desire to lunge forward, Heero maintained his slow ascent to the surface, knowing this steady pace would not alert any machines that might have been monitoring him, leaving his captors completely unaware. As his surroundings gradually came into focus Heero tried to remember what had left him in this situation. What battle had he been in, when had he lost consciousness, and most importantly who had him? Before he could do anything Heero knew he needed to assess his condition, but the pain wasall encompassing. His head throbbed in time with his heart, keeping his thoughts from forming at all times. He wanted to massage his temples but try as he might he could not bring his arm to move.

Once again he was aware of a foreign touch upon his body. It felt moist and cool against his skin, which felt as though it were on fire. What was happening to him? Suddenly a flash of memory took Heero, and he remembered John, and the others standing near to him. Was he on their side once more? Heero didn't dare let himself hope now. With his thoughts brokenhe was just too unsure about everything He needed to attain a stronger grasp over himself leave the darkness a little further behind.

A voice in the stillness entered Heero's thinking to accompany the unwanted touch, and it was that which Heero focused on. "This is a good start," a male voice sounded as though he were trying to reassure another. "This should help with his fever also," the voice continued, and Heero could feel something being wrapped about his upper right leg. He wanted to pull the limb away from the unknown hands but it would not respond to his call.

"How long has he had the fever?" a distinctly feminine voice asked softly, it was very subdued, as though afraid to speak, or perhaps too drowned in emotions.

"Off and on for the past week," the male responded, "I've been working him off the drug as gently as I can, and so far this is really the only side effect I've had to contend with."

What were they talking about? Heero was left confused and more than a little frustrated, were they discussing him? He wanted to know, but couldn't seem to open his eyes no matter how he tried. The longer he felt their hands upon him the more Heero found himself contending with a growing panic at his lack of control. He was sure he should recognize both voices, but the pain lancing through his head refused to let him find the answer. Drawing in a deeper breath Heero winced internally at the pain it caused, and before he could stop it a groan escaped his lips. He felt one of the beings jump away from him at that, while the other calmly continued their work.

"Can you finish without me John?" the feminine voice asked sounding almost desperate.

Heero caught the sound of a faint sigh, "Yes Sally," John told her gently, "You did well, this is only the beginning, though," he added.

It all came back to Heero then, at the mention of both their names, he remembered what had happened. That external prompting allowed him to find a way around the pain, to the memories of both these people. Now new questions plagued him, where was he? How long had he been out? And what had they been doing? Allowing himself a moment of thought was enough for Heero to find the answer to the last question, the other two however Heero knew he was going to have to ask. The sound of a door sliding closed broke the faltering line of Heero's thoughts, and he tried to focus all of his efforts onto opening his eyes, even just one would do.

Light began to filter through his lashes, causing his eyes to water immediately, but he kept up the fight determination driving him. Heero felt a presence lower itself closer to him, near to where he lay, and again he felt the panic. But it was quickly laid to rest, "I'm glad to see you're awake Heero," John's familiar voice spoke up through the blurry brightness, and Heero could feel a cool hand rest upon his should while the other made its way to his forehead.

_Too bright…_ he thought wanting to shield his eyes from the all too harsh light.

"Sorry," the voice apologised, and the lights suddenly dimmed, for a moment Heero was puzzled, he had not realised he had spoken that thought aloud.

With the light faded now, Heero finallymanaged to open his eyes if only a fraction, but it was enough to see a blurry image of John sitting on the edge of the bed. They didn't stay on John for long however, he began roaming the room trying to see where he actually was. "Where…am I?" he finally asked in a dry voice unable to place his surroundings.

"You're in the same wing of the agency as the other pilots, in a room Sally especially designed to treat all of you," John explained his own eyes looking about the very large room.

"She was…here?" Heero remembered hearing her voice, but he had not been able to see her; the only image of his doctor he could bring to mind was one he wanted to forget.

WMWMWMW

John nodded his head in response to Heero's question, and reached for a bottle of water so he could offer the boy a much needed drink. It had been a week now since Heero had been brought to this room, and John could not express his relief into words at having the boy now finally awake. It had been a long and hard fought week, as John had worked to bring Heero back from the brink, and to bring Sally in there to see him. It had taken him that whole week to finally get through to her, and even that victory was not a huge one.

_John knocked softly on Sally's door knowing she had only just recently entered into her apartment, after a long day of work. Determination had led him from his post to confront his friend. As he had hoped, Sally answered the door, her expression was torn at the sight of him, and she looked as though she was going to close the door then and their. John slid his foot over the threshold stopping her from doing just that, and looked her in the eyes._

_"It's been a week," he told her simply eyes boring into her._

_She sighed, "John I'm tired, it's been a long day," Sally moved to walk deeper into her apartments._

_"You can't keep putting this off, nothing's going to change if you don't take the first step," John restrained himself before he add 'Because he can't!' he doubted that would do much to ease this situation._

_"You keep pushing for this John," she fumed eyes flashing with a good deal of fear, "But you also say it's going to take time! Well, which is it?"_

_John sighed leaning his body against the door, "Both Sally, you know that but time alone isn't going to change a damn thing, and you know it. Just come with me, just to see him." John reached out a hand to her even as Sally backed away, "He's not awake Sally, and he's not likely to be for some time. Besides I could use a hand changing his bandages, and you're the only one availableright now."_

_She fell back against a wall watching him through the corner of one eye, "You're just not going to leave me alone, are you?"_

_"I'm just thinking about Heero, and what he needs," he told her gently._

_Several moments of indecisive silence passed, as Sally appeared to weigh her optionswhile John waited_,_ his mind thinking only of the boy he had left to pursue this. Finally she seemed to come to a grudging conclusion, "Alright."_

"I promised her you wouldn't wake," John told the boy with a smile. He felt as though a milestone had been passed, here he had not expected Heero to wake for several more days, and the boy had surprised him It was a relief beyond words.

"Sorry…" the boy rasped shifting slightly as though he were trying to get a better look at himself.

John smiled and reached out to shift the blankets covering Heero's thin frame, "How are you feeling?" he asked, watching the boy's face through the corner of one eye while completing his task. Heero's expression changed slowly, as he face took on a slightly greenish cast to it, "I see you're still feeling the effects of the drug. Just relax," he soothed, "It won't be long now before you're off it all together." _But that will only be the beginning_ he thought to himself. It felt to him as though he stood at the foot of a mountain he had to climb alone without the use of equipment. He could not begin to imagine how it felt for Heero, who in his present condition probably didn't have a full grasp of everything just yet.

"What day is it?" Heero inquired suddenly his voice sounding as though it had gained a little strength to it.

"May twelfth," John responded watching closely to see Heero's reaction to that news. He wondered what it would be like to fully realise how much time had been lost, from the growing look of surprise on the boy's face John guessed it was far more time than he had expected.

Heero's eyes fell closed at that as he clearly tried to grapple with this new information, "Over…three months…" he breathed ever so softly, his tone sounding incredulous.

"Don't worry about that right now," John told him, knowing there was no way not to but also fully aware that Heero was not going to be able to remain awake much longer. Even now his eyes remained closed, and his shallow breathing had evened out telling John that he was once more asleep.

He spent several minutes watching the sleeping boy before he moved deeper into the room, where a comfortable sitting area had been arranged. It looked out of place as though two separate rooms had been spliced together, but nevertheless John was grateful for a comfortable place to sit. As he lowered himself onto one of the chairs John reached out for a folder he had placed upon the coffee table only an hour earlier. Sally had given it to him just before they had left to attend to Heero.

_"Alright," Sally agreed softly. She didn't sound in the least been certain of herself, but so long as she was coming that was enough for the moment. John stepped away from the door to let her through, but much to his surprise she disappeared deeper into her apartment. He was about to call out after her, but she appeared moments later with a folder in hand. "Quatre called me a few days back, he told me that you knew they were Gundam Pilots," she handed the folder over, not making eye contact._

_"Heero trusts you," she began her voice breaking over the use of his name, "You're in this now, you'd best know about who you're dealing with."_

_John stared down at the folder, feeling quite at a loss, "What…I…"_

_"That's everything you need to know about each of the pilots, Une and I compiled that information years back, you're the only one to see it." Sally did look at him then but her expression was unreadable._

_Closing his hands over the folder, John offered her a tiny smile, "Thank you."_

He had been shocked by that, and at the same time unsure, John had the distinct feeling that he was taking something from Sally. Something that was not his to take, he did not mind holding the care of this boy in trust until Sally was able to come to terms with her actions and how to make amends for them. But he did not want to completely usurp her either, by giving him information on all the pilots and not just Heero, he felt as though that was what was happening. Still there was nothing he could do about it now, except to keep working with Sally.

Settling back, John opened the folder, only to see a picture of Heero. It was such a stark difference from the way the boy looked now that all John could do was stare. This was not the first he had scene of Heero as he had been before all of this happened, but before he had never actually had the boy around to compare. One thing, however, had not changed, and that was Heero's eyes in both the picture and reality. They were intense, beyond anything John had ever seen.

John leaned back in the chair, his eyes looking over the sleeping boy, considering him before his attention returned to the file. He quickly read over everything that was there about Heero. Much of it he already knew through Quatre, but still he wanted to confirm what Sally had told him earlier. John didn't doubt Sally's knowledge of Heero, but the brand was there. How could they explain that? Something like that had to be something that you had tointentionally want to do, it seemed to John. His thoughts drifted back to the conversation he had had with Sally the moment the brand was discovered.

_John rinsed his cloth clean, in the warm bowel of water, his eyes looking across Heero's thin bare chest to Sally who had just started to do the same. They had been working in silence for several moments; it felt like a triumph to John that she was even here. Still it would have been better if Sally were able to relax a little more. John sighed silently to himself and sat himself on the edge of the bed, "I'll hold him while you wash his back?" he made it a suggestion knowing already Sally would want it that way. But at the same time he didn't want to sound like he was forcing anything on her._

_"Alright," she responded her eyes not meeting his._

_John found it difficult with all his injuries, yet he still managed to raise Heero to him and gently hold him there. One hand brushed lightly over the boy's back, as he situated himself a little better, and what it ran across caused John to look down in surprise. Heero's left shoulder blade had been scared deeply, "What's this?" he asked of Sally knowing she could lean in for a better look._

_The fingers of one hand brushed lightly over the mark, as she stared at it intently, and John waited for some sort of answer. "It looks like a phoenix," she breathed fingers still tracing the thick scare tissue, "And this looks recent."_

_"He had himself branded with a phoenix?" he looked over the boy's should trying to see for himself. _

_Sally stepped away from the bed, "I don't understand; this isn't something he'd do."_

_John caught himself before he said 'three years can really change a person' he didn't feel that was the most tactful thing to say at the moment. "Are you sure Sally?" he questioned instead, "There's really know way to know how much he's changed over the years."_

_Despite his gentle tone Sally still winced at his words, he didn't regret them though, nothing good would come from side stepping the truth all the time. She looked up, locking eyes with John only briefly before her eyes returned to the brand, "He wouldn't have done something like this John. It doesn't fit with who he is."_

_"But something like this, he'd have to have wanted it for it to be here," John tried to reason again, unable to conceive of any other way for such a mark to make it onto Heero's body._

_"Not unless it was done against his will…" she mused softly, one hand making it way to the back of her neck to rub at the muscles there. _

_John gave a small start at that, "Done against his will?" he questioned aloud, "Who would possibly do that? And for what reason?"_

_She shook her head, "I don't know…"_

Shaking his head, John forced his attention back on the folder. He wanted to find the truth to that brand, but wasn't sure where to start. He didn't really want to ask Heero about it right now.John knew thatwhen the boy did wake, he wouldn't be there enough to deal with this. Especially if it had been done against his will, John couldn't begin to imagine what that would be like. Best to leave it for a while and let Heero recover from his injuries. He had no idea what Sally was going to do with the information, thoughhe doubted anything. As she was presently he was still half amazed he had actually got her to come in here.

WMWMWMW

Wufei left his room in the still early hours of the morning, he wanted to look in on a few people before he had to go and relieve John. Turning to his left, the former pilot walked further down the hall until he came to a door identical to his own. He knocked upon it and waited, not at all surprised when he received no answer. Reaching for the key pad Wufei unlocked the door himselfand stepped in. This would have irritated the occupant had he been there, however they had never made a secret of the lock combos to their rooms. And if Wufei had been acting the way Trowa had over the last few days, he knew someone would have been coming to him looking for answers.

Stepping into the dark room, Wufei switched on a light bathing the empty room in an artificial glow. He didn't even bother calling out Trowa's name, it was clear the former pilot of Heavyarms had not been there for a while. Despite his lack of surprise, Wufei had wanted to make sure that Trowa was indeed staying as far away from the agency as he could. As he understood it from Relena, Trowa still preformed his duties but he had become distant, saying even less than he usually did. Wufei would have liked to know what had caused the sudden change, but he supposed it could have simply been the pressure they were all under now that Heero was back with them. Yet somehow this seemed to be more severe.

Fairly sure that Trowa was staying with his sister at the circus right now, Wufei considered calling him if only to touch base with the other pilot. He already knew Trowa wasn't going to be open about what he was thinking, why he had been so distant. Wufei thought better of it in the end and instead pulled out his cell to dial Une's number. She had always been an early to rise sort of woman, so he didn't fear waking her, and the wrath that would incur.

"Une here," a stern voice spoke into Wufei's ear.

"Have we made any progress?" he skipped right to the point, knowing Une would recognise his voice.

"Just brick wall after brick wall," she told him bitterly.

They had been trying from the moment they had discovered the Inner Circle to gleam a little more information about them. However so far they were proving to be very elusive, it had become a wonder for Wufei that Heero had ever found them in the first place. It was quite obvious now that they weren't really going to be getting anywhere without a little help from Heero, and potentially a lot of luck.

"The problem is there's no computer records anywhere," Une ground out, displaying her obvious frustration. "Nothing we can trace anyway, this is completely unheard of."

Wufei settled himself against the wall in the hall, eyes taking a second to scan his surroundings to see that he was alone. "Have you considered infiltration?" he could already see a number of problems with such a suggestion, but doing nothing felt so unnatural.

"Briefly, but it's not going to get us anywhere fast enough," Une quickly confirmed his thoughts. "Besides, we have time. From what I understand they have everything they need to build Zero. Zechs told me it was clear they hadn't started yet." Over the phone Wufei could hear what sounded like the tapping of fingers. It was not common for Une to display her impatience; she made it a point to always be in control. "And without Heero, progress is going to be slow. Dante assured me all information from the one he built had been destroyed. We can be sure they're not going to make a move until they have it complete. We also know where they're located, and where it's being built."

"We have the advantage," Wufei ran a hand over his hair, for them to know so much about this organisation, and yet so very little, it was strange to say the very least. "Feels strange not to go after them now," a part of him wanted to be out there taking these men out before they could even openly threaten the peace.

"You know why we can't," Une didn't make it a question.

"We need to make sure we have all of them," Wufei agreed knowing already that had to be their ultimate goal, to remove this threat in one sweep.

Une let a barely audible sigh escape she hated waiting as much as the rest of them, "So the best thing we can do right now is take our time."

"And get all the information we can from Heero once he's able to speak to us," Wufei added. There was no greater source of information at the moment.

"Exactly. Speaking of which, shouldn't you be with him soon?" she inquired.

Wufei glanced at his watched realising the time, "Yes, I'll be relieving John soon," he pushed himself off the wall making his way down the hall, "I'll keep in touch."

"I want to know the moment he's speaking about what happened," she told him firmly.

"Understood. You'll be the first one I call," the conversation ended at that, and Wufei slipped his phone back into his pocket coming to a stop outside Heero's door. He wasted no time unlocking it and walking in. His onyx eyes landed on Heero first before quickly sweeping the room to see John. The old doctor was rising from his seat, somewhat stiffly, and he held in his hand a thick folder.

"You're early today," John winced as he stretched his body.

"I'm usually up around now," he responded with a shrug stepping over to Heero's bedside, "How's he been?"

"He woke briefly," the old doctor came to a stop opposite where Wufei was standing.

"Did he say anything?" Wufei was quick to ask back.

John lay the folder down on the edge of Heero's bed with a sigh, "Nothing much, only that it had been over three months since this started for him."

The former pilot looked down at this friend trying to imagine just what it would be like to lose three months. And to come too knowing you had far more ahead of you before you were back to where you had been. Having never been in a situation even close, Wufei had nothing to compare with it. Shaking his head slowly Wufei's eyes moved away from Heero to the folder John was once more holding, "What's that?" he asked curiously.

John pulled it away from him glancing down at it briefly before looking to Wufei, "Something Sally and Une put together for me."

"About us," he nodded, not surprised that they had seen fit to fill John in on everything. Wufei stepped around the bed, in the silence moving closer to where John was standing, "You should go home, get some sleep."

The old doctor nodded his head, slowly making his way towards the door, but he halted suddenly, turning back. "Would you say Heero branding himself was odd?" the question came out of nowhere, and Wufei found himself repeating it in his mind wondering if he had heard correctly.

"Yes," he answered finally, "Why do you ask?"

"Earlier today Sally and I found the brand of a phoenix"

"That's the mark of the Inner Circle," Wufei realised immediately, Heero had been more than clear about that in the information that he had left them. "They mark themselves on the chest, Heero doesn't have one there."

"It's on his back, left shoulder blade to be exact," John confirmed.

Wufei looked thoughtfully down at his sleeping friend, "If it's supposed to be on his chest, what explanation is there for it being on his back?" he mused aloud.

"I was hoping you might be able to tell me that," John returned, his eyes resting heavily on Heero's prone form.

"There's a problem there," the Chinese man informer quickly, "The Inner Circle don't keep any computer records, that's what makes them so hard to track." His hand ran absently along the rail of the hospital bed, as his mind turned over his minimal options, "I can have someone conduct a search, but I wouldn't expect any results."

John nodded his head in understanding, taking another step towards the door before he was yet again halted by something. "If he should wake today, I don't think you should mention it to him," John spoke softly a rather protective light glinting in his eyes.

Something in Wufei jumped out against this immediately, Heero had lived through so much in his life, why hide this from him now? Especially considering he might be the only one who could shed light on how it happened. "I really don't think you need to worry," he reasoned trying not to sound offended.

"I highly doubt the experience was a pleasant one for him," John returned, nothing in his voice or expression changing. "And if he isn't aware of it now, why not leave it for another day, just because the scars on the outsides of all your bodies are something you don't think about. Doesn't mean the ones they leave internally don't still hurt," his hand gripped the folder a little tighter to him as he spoke.

Wufei stared at this man in silence, sizing him up for the first time, trying to see what it was that set this man apart from all the rest. What was it about him that allowed Heero to trust and relax so quickly? Wufei was positive it had not just been the condition his friend had been in at the time, although that may have been part of it. But there was still something about John that made him different, he saw things differently Wufei thought. And somehow managed to understand them when the rest of the world couldn't bother too. He had accepted Heero from the very beginning despite the fact that all he knew about him was bad, and somewhere along the way he had developed a fierce protectiveness for Heero.

These were all things Wufei admired, and despite the fact he didn't fully agree with John's suggestion, he was still willing to take the old man's advice. Especially considering how close to home it had managed to strike. They all had their demons, and for the most part each could be traced back to a physical scar, something they barely thought of any more. Yet it still managed to ache deep within them, a continued reminder of something they'd rather forget. He nodded his head in agreement not feeling the need for words. John seemed satisfied with this, turning then to finally leave the room, and return to his home.

WMWMWMW

Relena lowered herself slowly onto the edge of Heero's bed brushing some of his still damp hair from his face. She had just finished washing his hair with Wufei's help, she felt helpless in the face of all the injuries that Heero had to recover from. She knew clean hair didn't really make that much of a difference, but at least it allowed her to feel useful while Heero continued to sleep. Thanks to John's careful method Heero was now completely off the drug, and not suffering from any of the withdrawal, still he continued to sleep for most of the day. John had told her he had awoken a few times during the night, and Wufei had mentioned of once during the day. He was never awake for very long, as he continued to gather his strength, but Relena couldn't help but feel disappointed that she had not been there at any of those times.

She so desperately wanted to speak to him, despite the fact she was not at all sure what she'd say. Relena only hoped in the moment that his cobalt eyes opened the words would come to her, and she could take the first step towards mending the rift between them. It was difficult to be patient. She felt as though she needed to be pacing the room, until a groove had been worn into the cold tiles. Yet somehow Relena managed to remain seated at Heero's side her fingers trailing through his unruly hair as he slept on, oblivious.

Wufei continued his job of watching over the injured pilot during the day, but had opted to give Relena a little privacy, by taking up watch in the room next door. Relena knew there were camera's in this room feeding a live link right to where Wufei would be sitting. However she also had faith that the Chinese man would have enough respect not to watch, or if he did, at least not to speak about what he had seen to the others. It had been Heero's choice in the beginning to keep their relationship a secret even from the other pilots, though they both knew from the start that there was no way the others didn't already know. Relena hadn't cared so long as she had been with Heero, and he had been happy.

Relena brushed as her eyes suddenly, thoughts of the past were difficult still to think about, as they always brought her back to that day. It had started it all, and there was no way for her to change any of that now. That was the most difficult part to live with, to know that no matter what she did now, those three years had happened. She sighed continuing to wipe at the tears that refused to stop. Her eyes were closed when she felt a hand brush against her leg ever so gently.

"No...tears…" a tired voice whispered.

Her eyes flew opened to see Heero watching her, he looked exhausted, but she thought he would for some time. Nevertheless, he was awake and looking directly at her, his eyes though tired were still clear and gorgeous. "I'm sorry," she laughed somewhat nervously scrubbing the last tears away.

"That's my line," Heero told her his eyes intense. Silence fell between them, as both looked deep into each others eyes. The words weren't coming Relena realised desperately, she didn't know what to say, what she could possibly offer to him?

WMWMWMW

Heero had found much to his surprise and relief that waking to see Relena sitting over him had been far easier than he remembered it being when John had been there. He still felt exhausted, but at the same time as though his strength was returning at least what of it that he had when they had hated him. He found himself wondering what all had really happened during the time he was out, but he hadn't had a chance to ask, and now was not the time. The pain he remembered upon waking before seemed a great deal less, and for the first time in a long time the lights were not stabbing daggers of pain into his brain.

He studied Relena's features in the hanging silence, noting the unshed tears that still stood out on the edges of her eyes. And he found himself wanting to brush them away, but he could not move. As though she had read his thoughts Relena scrubbed the last of her tears away and offered him a shaky smile, "How are you feeling?" she asked, voice little more than a whisper.

There was a question that Heero knew he was going to be hearing a lot as time went on, and his tolerance for answering it were going to steadily drop as that time went by. As it was he wasn't even sure how he should respond…how did he feel? Tired was the first thing to come to mind, but saying that might make her leave, something Heero didn't want. "Like death…" he told her after a moment, his lips quirking up just a little. She smiled a little at that her eyes dropping away from his face.

"Is there anything you need? Anything I can get you?" she rung her hand together in her lap, eyes looking off towards the far side of the room.

Heero's first thought was to say 'Just you' but something stopped him before the words could become anything more than a fleeting thought. He tried to think of what had stopped him, he should feel no hesitation while around her. This was the moment he had been waiting for all these years, to be back with the woman that he loved. So why now was he holding himself back? What part of his mind was trying to protect him? As he thought this over Heero found his eyes staring at her slowly moving hands, and something appeared out of place to his eyes, but he couldn't think what.

It hit him suddenly, like a jolt of lightning, the ring finger of her left hand was bare. Heero felt as though he had been punched, how could he have forgot something like this? Luc had proposed to her, she had found herself in another man. Sighing loudly Heero looked up to her face, finding Relena's worried eyes on him, "You don't wear his…ring?" the words sounded hallow to his ears.

Relena blinked her face becoming perplexed, "Whose ring?"

"Luc's," he could still remember clearly the scene just before he had shut the computer. That had been the end of it all, the moment he had lost the fight for the peace, that moment had made his capture so much easier.

She stared at him, in what appeared to be disbelief, "What are you talking about?" Heero felt that although she made it a question, she knew exactly what he was talking about.

"He proposed," _He stole you away from me_ he added silently to himself, his eyes falling almost completely closed. He did not want to lose himself in the darkness as hidden there was a clear memory of that very moment.

Relena gasped, and all Heero could think was that despite everything she still had not been expecting this, "How?" she breathed "Did Luc tell you that?"

"I saw it…"

"Where?" Relena looked and sounded very concerned, which wasn't helping the way Heero was feeling at the moment.

He opened his eyes a little wider, and turned his head so he could focus in on the small camera in the far corner of the room. Relena followed his gaze, but when she looked back to him it was clear she didn't understand what he was trying to say. Heero drew a slow breath, trying to gather a little more strength, "There was a camera in the room…that he proposed…in."

Silence took the room as Relena fully took in what that meant, "You say that…" there was a great well of sadness in her voice at those words. But suddenly her eyes opened wider, and there was a little of the brightness and life he remembered, "You didn't watch to the end?"

Heero shuddered involuntarily, "Couldn't risk it."

Relena suddenly took hold of his right hand with both of hers, "I'm so sorry you had to see that Heero, but I refused him. I could never love Luc…" she trailed off and it felt to Heero as there was more she wanted to say but at this time could not say it.

He stared up at her trying to reset his thinking from the moment he had witnessed the proposal. All hope was not gone, she was here and he was no longer hated. But he could still feel a huge gap between them, something that would not be easy to cross.

WMWMWMW

It became painfully obvious to Relena, as she was sure it did for Heero, that nothing was going to go back to the way it was. At least not as quickly as they had both hoped, the pieces were just too small and scattered to simply pick up and put back together. Relena almost thought their only hope was to wipe the slate clean and start new. But she couldn't bring herself to do that, she wanted very much to see both their actions draw them together as stronger people. It was going to take a great deal of time, that was for sure. More time than she had originally been expecting, then again before now she had only been able to imagine. Everything was finallycrashing home now.

Opening her eyes, Relena turned her gaze over to Heero, only to find his eyes now closed, and he looked to her as though he was asleep. She sighed, regretting that their conversation had ended there, and she had not been willing to say more to him. She wondered at how he had come to see that proposal, and why if he checked in on them thought the camera, did his timing have to be so bad.

A soft knock on the door as it slid opened alerted Relena to the presence of another, and she forced herself to tear her gaze off of Heero to look up at Duo. She offered her bodyguard a wan smile, as her hand reached up to absently brush away a tear threatening to fall. Duo looked apprehensive as he just stood on the threshold, his eyes continuing to flicker from her to Heero. She felt for him, felt for all of them, but progress would be made in time, and all any of them could do now was wait. Reluctantly she got up from the bed and walked over to Duo, but she couldn't leave the room without looking Heero over one last time. She would wait not matter the length of time until everything was right once more.

Thanks for Reading!

**To Say "I'm Sorry"**:

Heero couldn't tell for sure how long this went on, but as the time slipped away Zechs seemed to become more agitated. He began to mutter harshly under his breath, and though he was clearly attempting to keep his voice down, stray words found their way to Heero's ears. "…Sorry?" it was thrown out there with a dry laugh, and Heero could almost feel Zechs shaking his head as he said it. "…Won't help…" he continued as he worked away at that one poor strip of floor. Heero wondered how long this would continue, he could feel Zechs' discomfort, but he still lacked the motivation to open his eyes and say something. He felt fairly sure that it was the fact that his eyes were closed that had Zechs in here at all.

Finally Zechs dropped himself down in the chair that sat near to the bed, and it sounded to Heero like Zechs pulled both hands through his long hair with a frustrated sigh. "Why can't I find the words?" he asked into the silence. Heero hear him sit back, and could feel his heavy gaze sweeping over him. "We've fought together many times," Zechs mused softly, "You get a real feel for the way a man thinks when you watch him fight. But there are just some things that can't be learned that way…" the last was a whisper.

"I'm sure you felt that way, when I took on the earth with White Fang," he paused for a moment, sitting forward suddenly. "What's so different about these two situations? It looked to the whole world like I had betrayed them, that I would go to the extreme length to end the war. Hell the world was almost destroyed if it hadn't been for you…" Zechs trailed off and silence reclaimed the room.

"Look at me, I turned my back on the earth, threatened to destroy it, and they make me king," his words were clearly disgusted. "Why couldn't I see? Why did I let myself be blinded by rage?" frustration permeated his voice as he spoke shaking his head, "I didn't even bother to leave hints so people would know what I was trying to do, I hadn't cared."

"You left us those hints, and we couldn't even bother to see them. I hated you the moment I found out, and it only strengthened when I was forced to tell Relena." Heero found himself flinching at that thought, and he hoped Zechs had not noticed. "And then when I got you out…" Heero thought he heard Zechs shudder, "I just stopped thinking, I was drowning in my rage, and I reacted." The sound of his knuckles popping reached Heero's ears, as Zechs clenched both fists. "That doesn't excuse it I know, I'm not trying to excuse it…I'm…I……Damnit!" Zechs was on his feet again pacing the room, "Why can't I find the words?"

Morganeth Taren'drel


	32. To Say I'm Sorry

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: I'm terribly sorry for the delay (I know you're all tired of hearing that) I was waiting on my second editor to send the chapter back to me. But I don't want to make any of you wait any longer, you've all been so patient with me, and I think you deserve this chapter. So I hope you can all enjoy it! The next time I post will be with **Two Chapters **(smiles) something to look forward to! And do you realise what I did with that last chapter? It created a scroll bar in the chapter box (laughs) I've been waiting for that! It's now my goal to make it really little! (smiles)

Thanks to my editors **morgansgirl **and **Pious Knight**!

**clarobell**: Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this one too.

**Padme Nijri**: Thanks for the review, I hope what small typos you find doesn't destroy your enjoyment of the story. No editor is perfect and I give my a run for their money (laughs) I've often found typos in published works, I understand the Harry Potter series is full of them. As for grammar I've had more people tell me more rules than I can count (smiles) I'm more than happy to go along with my editor's recommendations, so I hope you'll still enjoy the story despite them, and thanks again for the review!

**Horselvr**: Sorry I didn't update really soon! But I hope this chapter was worth the wait!

**D3**: Thank you! It'll take a while for Heero and Relena's relationship to really get going but there's a really quick kiss coming up. Thanks for the review!

**Raizard333**: Thanks for reviewing! Are you wanting to know how long Heero's recovery is going to take or the story? (smiles) I've made no secret this was going to be a long story, I'd say were still in the beginning of it, I'm not all that sure what I'd call the middle, hopefully I'll know when I get there (laughs). As for Heero's recovery, that too is going to take a while, he's been pretty badly beaten up, but the time will be well put to use bringing all the pilots and Relena back together, so I hope you enjoy what's coming next! Thanks again!

**Eternal fire 1**: Thank you so much! You're absolutely right it isn't easy for any of them, and even less for me (laughs) sometimes getting them to apologise has taken me more than a week to do, but I've now managed it with all of them, and in this chapter you get to see Zechs. Enjoy! And thanks again!

**Sage-Doomhunter**: Thanks! I'm really sorry for the long waits I'd like to avoid any more, two weeks at the most, so I hope you'll continue to be patient with me! I really appreciate the support! So far I haven't written Heero saying 'I love you' to Relena but I'm sure it's coming (smiles) Thanks again for the review!

**reiniku**: Aww I'm sorry about Duo, I know he hasn't been doing all that much lately, but it's going to take him a little time to bring himself to come see Heero, what happens in the next chapter's going to prompt him a little, but it'll still be a while for him to apologise. It's going to happen though (smiles) that much I can promise! I'm also sorry for the wait I don't want to let it happen any more! So please enjoy this chapter! Thanks for the review!

**Ghostreader**: No worries, I know exactly where everything is going, despite the large changes I've made to the story. I love little details…sometimes a little too much, but I'm glad to know it's been adding to the enjoyment of the story, and I hope you continue to enjoy! Thanks so much for reviewing!

**Squall-l-l**: Thanks so much! I'm sorry you had to wait so long! I hope you enjoy!

**LovesAngel**: Sorry for the wait! (laughs) Jez eh? I wonder how you knew I like that, kind of strange….did I once sign an email with my real name? though that still wouldn't explain the 'z' (smiles) I always wished my parents had spelt my name with a 'z' would have made it more unique. (laughs) you must explain this to me (smiles) I don't want anyone going insane (laughs) I'll keep going to the end! I hope you enjoy all that's still to come! Thanks again for the review!

**Rikothedeathangel**: Thank you so much! I'm really glad you're willing to wait! I know what it's like to be in a slump, I was in one for a good three years, I hope you find your way out of it! I'm pulling for you! I hope in some small way this chapter can help! Thanks again!

**lil' demon**: Thanks for the review! You're wait for Zechs' apology is over (smiles) I hope you like it! Sally and Trowa are going to take the longest, but they are coming. Duo also will take some time, I really hope you like the way they go! Heero's age? Somewhere around 20 years old since he's not entirely sure neither am I (laughs) but that's roughly his age. Thanks again!

**Lay Lay Hime**: WOW thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying the story! I'm happy to answer any question you might have! Heero behind the Assassin who was going to shoot Relena, they both fired their guns at the same time, that's why they only heard one shot fired and Heero didn't actually end up shooting Relena. Yep the Inner Circle branded him, in a couple of chapters you'll find out when and how they did it. Thank you! (smiles) you're the first person to compliment my editors and it makes me so happy! I'm sorry the chapters have been taking so long I'd like for them to no longer take more than two weeks at the absolute most, so long as I can stay ahead in the writing. Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing, and my Original Characters have all been stolen by neekabe!

**To Say "I'm Sorry"**

Heero woke to silence and dimly lit lights within his room, he was alone, and grateful for it. The memories of his conversation with Relena were still fresh in his mind, he could hear her sad voice as she tried to make sense of what he had been telling her. Still at the same time he was able to take some reassurance from it, knowing now that what Luc had told him was a lieand that she was not with him, nor had she ever loved him. But in the face of all he and Relena had to over come it really wasn't all that helpful. Heero shifted a little in his bed, as much as he body would allow, he wanted very much to know what the day was. He was tired of not knowing, of feeling like he was in the dark.

His eyes scanned the room searching for anything that might help him. He was feeling a little more awake than he had earlier, and his eyes were focusing better because of this. With some relief Heero's eyes locked on a round clocked hanging from the wall, and with a little effort he was able to see it was around one in the morning. But that didn't do much to tell him what the date was as his eyes continued their search, until they rested on a small day calendar sitting on a table beside his bed. The sixteenth of May, was the day it displayed, and Heero wondered if it was accurate. There was no use stressing over it, at least he now had a rough idea about how much time had passed since the last time someone had told him.

Heero then turned his attention towards himself, this was his first opportunity to actually try and take measure of his injuries. As he looked down at himself all Heero's eyes could see were blankets, and bandages. Tubes and wires ran everywhere, and it struck him then just how quiet it was in the room,as the heart monitor was not continuously announcing the beat of his heart. Heero wondered at why that was, but he couldn't seem to single out any one wire to see where it went. Giving up Heero looked away from the wires to himself, noting what injuries he could actually see. His left hand was wrapped thick with bandages, and as he searched his memory trying to remember what had happened, a slight twinge from his palm was enough to remind him of Luc's knife. Heero's right arm looked much the worse for wear, the upper part was bandaged, and his forearm had been placed in a brace.

Breathing hurt a good deal, but at the same time not as much as he remembered. He knew right away that was only because they had him on some sort of painkiller, Heero could recognise the feel of it immediately. The sound of the door opening brought Heero's eyes about and he watched as John walked in holding what appeared to be a thermos in one hand. He smiled coming to a stop at the edge of Heero's bed, "I'm glad to see you're awake, how are you feeling?"

If Heero could have shrugged he would have, he couldn't think of an answer to that question. At least not one he'd actually want to give, he saw no point in acknowledging the discomfort, he hated showing weakness, and in his present situation, it seemed that was all he was doing.

A knowing smile took John's face then, as he looked down at Heero, "I'll rephrase, is the pain too bad?"

"No," Heero told him honestly, he could remember times of worse pain, not clearly but he could remember them.

"I understand you awokewhen Relena was here last," John began his old hand taking hold of a clipboard that had been left on the counter top. He started flipping through the papers there, while he continued to talk, "That meant a lot to her."

Heero remained silent about that, his eyes looking away. sure he had been able to find out that Relena never really gave up on him, but at the same time the sad look in her eyes tore at him. How could anything good come from that?

"It's a start Heero," John's soft voice broke through Heero's thoughts, as though the old doctor had been able to read his mind. "All of you want everything back to the way it was, but it's going to take time," he eased himself down on the edge of the bed the clipboard held loosely in his lap.

The former pilot turned his head away slightly in the lingering silence his cobalt eyes finding that small day calendar again, "Is that right?" he asked pulling his head in its direction.

John looked over, "Yes I changed it just after midnight, I thought you might like to know what day it is from no on." Heero just nodded his head in appreciation towards that, not feeling all that much like holding a conversation at that moment, yet at the same time he didn't really want to fall back asleep either. John came to his feet quite suddenly eyes still looking down on Heero, "Do you think you can stay awake for me for a little while?"

"Why?" he couldn't help but ask.

"Now that you're off the drug I wanted to get you eating again," John moved towards the counter where he had left the thermos when he entered the room. "I was going to wake you in a couple of hours, but since you woke on your own, why not try now?"

The thought of food made Heero shutter, he couldn't even remember the last time he had eaten anything. "Not hungry," he breathed his eyes leaving John's form to focus on the clock, watching the slow crawl of time.

"I'm not really surprised about that," John replied easily, "But unless you start eating, you're never going to be able to recover."

Heero felt a spark of irritation at that, he knew what John said was true, but at this present moment all he wanted was to be left alone. "Later," he tried to make his voice firm, to end the discussion there, but John was already shaking his head.

"Heero the only compromise I'm willing to make here, is whether you eat before or after I examine you," his arms were folded over his chest and their was an equally firm set to his jaw, he was not about to back down. "You want to get better, your friends want you to get better, and it's not going to happen unless you start eating."

It sounded to Heero as though he were admonishing a child, and it grated upon his nerves even more. What fuelled Heero's resentment even more so, was that he could see John's point.

"Look Heero even a few spoonfuls would be enough for now," John cut through his thoughts, with a voice that was gently pleading. He waited for a few moments just looking at Heero, his expression hopeful, "So which will it be?"

Heero sighed, "After," he ground out, thinking a little extra time might help him feel a little more receptive to the idea of food. John nodded his head whileletting go of the thermos, and turned his attention tothe cupboards and drawers that lined thecorner of the room. Heero watched mutely as the old doctor began to withdraw various medical tools lining them up on the clean counter top so he'd have easy access to them. Heero briefly contemplated dropping himself into a half sleep so that he was still aware, but at the same time resting himself. He quickly decided against that idea, as this might be a good time to find out what actually happened to him.

John turned away from his preparations finally, slipping a stethoscope around his neck, he took hold of his clipboard and a small device before he actually took the two steps back over to Heero's bed. He placed the clipboard down on a table and withdrew a pen from his pocket to add to it. John then sat himself down on the edge of the bed, his fingers fiddling with the item, Heero couldn't tell what it was. "I'm just going to start by taking your temperature, alright?" Once again he was back to making it suggestions giving Heero the choice. The former pilot just nodded his head, watching as the old doctor brought the small device tohis forehead and held it there for a few seconds.

Reaching over to his pen John wrote the reading, and left the electronic thermometer on that small table. "It's normal," he told Heero with a smile, "First time in a couple of weeks."

Heero remained silent, having nothing to add to the conversation so far. He simply watched as John carefully folded back the warm blankets to his waist, and began untying the front of hisshirt. The Japanese man watched with some surprise, he had been expecting a line of bandages winding its way around his chest, not several smaller ones tapedalong the edge of his chest. John rested a hand lightly on the center of Heero's torso amid the wires that ran every which way, drawing his eyes to the doctor's face.

"Your ribs were broken so badly, that I felt it was best to have pins put into most of them," he explained, and Heero understood that the bandages were covering the incisions made during surgery. As John reached for his stethoscope Heero found his thoughts wandered a little, as he tried to remember where those broken ribs had come from, but his mind continued to draw blanks every time. "I need you totake as deep a breath as you can Heero," John bade, and Heero did so whilehis thoughts continued to focusinwards. A part of him thought to ask John where the broken bones had come from but something told him the old doctor wouldn't know.

He felt John's eyes watching him, and Heero mentally shook himself away from his thoughts coming back to what the doctor was doing. In between glances at Heero's face John was checking beneath each of the bandages before carefully securing them down again. "What's on your mind?" he inquired, as he continuing his work.

Heero watched for a time in silence as John's careful hands moved further down his torso till they came to the hem of his pants, and a thick bandage that was peeking up from under the edge. "How did this happen?" his eyes swept over his body, signalling without the words that his question was in reference to it all.

John's exam halted as he straightened up, to better look at Heero's face, "I'm not really surprised you don't remember," he spoken as his hands began retying Heero's opened shirt. "I don't know all the details but I've been told that, Zechs was the one…"

A flash of memory darted from deep within his memories, but it fled before Heero could take hold of it. And all it left in its place was that gnawing ache behind his right eye, he sighed with frustration, but was willing to let it drop, after all, none of that mattered now.

"I think you ought to know," John continued as he stood from the bed to retrieve something from the counter. "That I've been told everything, at least that is to say everything Une and Sally know about all of you Gundam Pilots." Before returning to Heero's bedside John made several notes on the clipboard, but his gaze continued to flicker over to Heero's face.

That news didn't surprise Heero all that much, with how John had been brought into this whole mess, it only made sense to keep him here. And even back three years Sally had always been looking for someone she could trust with her five most important, and consequently most difficult patients. Heero wondered, sizing John up, how well this man would fair against any of the pilots. "Quatre revealed it all to me first, a little over a week ago. I found him standing outside your door," John continued his work as he spoke.

"What did he tell you?" Heero wasn't just asking about information on himself, but out of all of the pilots Quatre was the one Heero couldn't remember seeing after the truth came out.

"He couldn't bring himself to see you. He was blaming himself for what happened three years back, because he couldn't piece together what you had actually meant." John walked around to the far side of the bed moving the blankets away from Heero's right leg.

Heero tipped his head back casting his gaze towards the simple white ceiling, "Quatre always blames himself for things that are out of his control," he explained with a sigh.

He felt more than saw John nod his head, "He had no idea what to say to you."

"They don't need to say anything," Heero responded immediately, wanting that to be the way, even though he knew it never could be.

"You know just as well as they do Heero," John's voice drew his eyes even as his hand rested upon Heero's knee. "After your conversation with Relena, everything can't just be forgotten no matter how much you all want it to," he sounded regretful in his words.

The former pilot's eyes fell closed at that, it was the truth he knew had known from the beginning. Frustration sparked within him, a tiny flame being slowly fanned to life. If he had been able to stand, to leave this damned bed, Heero would have found them alland put all the tension and fears to rest. Heero turned his attention fully over to his left arm willing the limb to move, to rise from the matrices, but his muscles would not heed his call. A hand upon his right shoulder brought Heero sharply back to the present, and his eyes fixed in a harsh glare turned towards John, though the expression was not exactly directed at him.

"Your muscles have atrophied," John explained, although his eyes said he knew Heero was already aware of that. "In time we'll be able to work on that, but for now it's best to let your injuries heal themselves first," he removed his hand and made his way back around the bed.

Everything was going to take time, this Heero already knew, but it was all more time than he wanted to spare. He felt anxious at the thought of what was going through his friends' minds, that he was not in control of anything anymore. That was perhaps the hardest thing to deal with, the lack of control. Heero had always been a man in total control, to be without it, was almost enough to cause panic. But Heero refused to let himself show that kind of weakness.

"So far everything looks alright," John informed after making a few final notes on his clipboard. He then returned to Heero's bedside with the thermos now in hand, easing himself down once more on the bed. Heero watched him through lidded eyes, as he began dissembling the thermos, removing the cuplike top, and from somewhere in the side retrieving a spoon. The smell that wafted to him when John unscrewed the cap, was enough to make him shudder, he tired to suppress the feeling knowing that he'd soon be eating whatever broth was in there. John poured a portion of it into the cup, and then turned his attention fully to Heero's face. He stretched out a hand to the rail of the bed, pressing a button that raised the upper half of the bed up, so it would be easier for Heero to eat.

The moments of silence began to feel awkward as they watched each other, and it felt to Heero as though John was unsure if he could precede. Heero knew already, had know from the moment food had been mentioned that he was not going to be able to feed himself. Neither of his arms were in any condition to be used, and even if they were, Heero doubted they would have been able to manage even this simple task. It was not a blow to his pride, this was not the first time he had been fed by someone else, and if there was no other way, why even think about it. There was no getting better, no regaining his strength without eating, and until he could feed himselfon his own John was just going to have to do it for him. John's hesitation was not long lasting as he too knew there was no other way, and he took hold of the spoon carefully bringing it to Heero's mouth.

Only ever so slightly thicker than water, it felt as though it coated his whole mouth, and throat as it slid down. It made for an amazing change to the taste in his mouth, a taste he hadn't even noticed until it was gone. What surprised Heero most, was he didn't feel worse for it, he still didn't feel hungry, but at the same time he wasn't nauseous, so he willingly accepted the next. The silence between them no longer felt so heavy, as John had settled into feeding Heero, with the same relaxed air that he did every task with. But the quiet moment was not to last, it felt to Heero as though a switched had been flipped, and the sickness returned.

He tired his best to force the feeling back, to block it from his mind, as he would have been able to do at any other time. His eyes shut tight as he focused, but it was no use the feeling would not leave him. "Heero?" John's voice sounded concerned and faded as though he were talking through a thick and silencing fog. No amount of concentration was going to force this feeling aside, he could already feel bile rising in the back of his throat. It was clear John had anticipated this as he held a plastic bowl to Heero's chin.

The ache Heero felt through his whole body was nearly overwhelming as he vomited up what little he had eaten, his body rejecting it violently. It didn't take long for the food to leave his system, but the heaving didn't stop, and his thoughts scattered with the pain, making it impossible to gain a firm hold on his body. He wondered briefly if it would ever stop, as black spots began to swim before his blurring vision. Much to Heero's relief his stomach muscles finally relaxed, leaving him breathing very shallowly, and trying not to move. He was aware of John's presence hovering near him, and slowly he opened his eyes seeing John's elderly face creased with worry.

Relief over took his features as Heero came back to himself, "I'm sorry Heero."

"Not you're fault…" he told the old doctor, trying to swallow down the terrible taste in his mouth.

"Here," John brought forward a cup with a straw in it, "Sip at this slowly, it's going to take time to get your stomach accepting food again." He sighed stroking his chin in obvious thought, "It'll accept a little water, we're just going to have to try a little less broth."

"Next time…" Heero breathed tiredly, suddenly feeling like it was a monumental effort to keep his eyes open. He just wanted to let himself fall into the blackness where the gnawing ach of his ribs would fade away.

John nodded his head slowly, as he began putting everything away again, "Get some sleep we'll try again later." Heero's eyes fell closed at that, and instantly his thoughts fell away.

MWMWMWMWM

Heero woke suddenly, but his eyes remained closed and his breathing deep and even. Waking had become easier to do as time had passed, but it had also become something Heero dreaded. It had been four days since John had first given the broth to him, and it seemed like every time he woke, some one was waiting for him. Always they carried that thermos, and he had yet to want to actually eat what they brought him. It was unpredictable as to whether or not he'd be able to keep the food down, and that frustrated him more than anything else. He had started to consider faking sleep, but John was never fooled, somehow the old doctor could always tell.

But what had woke him this time? He heard the door slide close behind someone, as their footsteps brought them closer to the bed. Heero didn't need to open his eyes to know who it was. Zechs stopped a fair distance from the bed, and Heero could feel his heavy gaze. Not being in a mood to deal with people—having not been in that mood for some time—Heero kept his eyes closed, continuing to feign sleep. His patiencehad been slowly slipping with each passing day, and it was becoming harder and harder to keep it in check. He was neither used too nor comfortable being in this position, he being dependent on anyone. The silence that held the room was broken only by the sounds of Zechs' heavy breathing, as he quietly paced across the room at the foot of Heero's bed.

Heero couldn't tell for sure how long this went on, but as the time slipped away Zechs seemed to become more agitated. He began to mutter harshly under his breath, and though he was clearly attempting to keep his voice down, stray words found their way to Heero's ears. "…Sorry?" it was thrown out there with a dry laugh, and Heero could almost feel Zechs shaking his head as he said it. "…Won't help…" he continued as he worked away at that one poor strip of floor. Heero wondered how long this would continue, he could feel Zechs' discomfort, but he still lacked the motivation to open his eyes and say something. He felt fairly sure that it was the fact that his eyes were closed that had Zechs in here at all.

Finally Zechs dropped himself down in the chair that sat near to the bed, and it sounded to Heero like Zechs pulled both hands through his long hair with a frustrated sigh. "Why can't I find the words?" he asked into the silence. Heero hear him sit back, and could feel his heavy gaze sweeping over him. "We've fought together many times," Zechs mused softly, "You get a real feel for the way a man thinks when you watch him fight. But there are just some things that can't be learned that way…" the last was a whisper.

"I'm sure you felt that way, when I took on the earth with White Fang," he paused for a moment, sitting forward suddenly. "What's so different about these two situations? It looked to the whole world like I had betrayed them, that I would go to the extreme length to end the war. Hell the world was almost destroyed if it hadn't been for you…" Zechs trailed off and silence reclaimed the room.

"Look at me, I turned my back on the earth, threatened to destroy it, and they make me king," his words were clearly disgusted. "Why couldn't I see? Why did I let myself be blinded by rage?" frustration permeated his voice as he spoke shaking his head, "I didn't even bother to leave hints so people would know what I was trying to do, I hadn't cared."

"You left us those hints, and we couldn't even bother to see them. I hated you the moment I found out, and it only strengthened when I was forced to tell Relena." Heero found himself flinching at that thought, and he hoped Zechs had not noticed. "And then when I got you out…" Heero thought he heard Zechs shudder, "I just stopped thinking, I was drowning in my rage, and I reacted." The sound of his knuckles popping reached Heero's ears, as Zechs clenched both fist. "That doesn't excuse it I know, I'm not trying to excuse it…I'm…I……Damnit!" Zechs was on his feet again pacing the room, "Why can't I find the words?"

Heero let his eyes open the barest fraction, seeing Zechs for the first time since he had been able to tell them what really happened. The platinum haired man had begun to pace again, his facean unreadable mask, his eyes a torrent of emotions. "She's your sister…" Heero offered into the near silence.

Zechs' steps halted instantly and he turned to face Heero, his expression still unreadable, though Heero noted surprise was in his eyes. They remained like that for several minutes, Zechs appearing tense as though he might beconsider bolting, but Heero knew him better, knew Zechs was too strong a man for that. Slowly his stance relaxed, as he took a step closer to the foot of the bed, "I should have known you'd be awake…"

"Since you came in," Heero confirmed.

The former Lightning Count dropped his head, as his hands moved to grip the tall rail that ran along the edge of the bed. "It's not enough…" he began looking at Heero through the tops of his eyes, there was a great deal of intensity in those icy orbs. "It's not enough that she's my sister, I shouldn't have let myself lose control like that."

Heero could understand where he was coming from, but still to this day he couldn't remember the incident happening, "I don't even remember…" he knew that wouldn't change anything, nothing really could.

The silence that stretched out between them felt hard almost impassable, Heero had expected this, knew he was going to have to deal with it for all of them. "I wish that would help…" Zechs whispered shaking his head, "I wish there was something I could say."

"I'm sorry, has always been enough for me," Heero offered and hoped it might be enough to move them past this point.

Zechs stared at him intently, appearing to force his eyes to remain on him, Heero watched back, waiting to see what Zechs would choose to do. "I won't ever be enough," he began straightening and stepping around the bed Zechs came to Heero's right side. "But I'm sorry," he lowered himself back into the chair he had been sitting in before.

Heero let his head fall to the side so he could better see the other man, "It's in the past now," he told him simply fully intending not to discuss the matter again, at least with Zechs. "So what's been happening?" he inquired knowing Zechs would read into the vague question to see what he was referring too. It might have been considered a touchy subject to closely tied to what they had just put behind them, but Heero needed to know what the pilots were planning to do about the Inner Circle and what information he could impart to them.

"Nothing," Zechs told him simply enough leaning back in his chair appearing more relaxed now that the conversation had turned to business. It was easier to forget that Heero was lying in the bed, the vast majority of his injuries caused by Zechs' hand. "We know what you told us in the file, but nothing else, the others have been searching with every spare moment, but we never really expected to find anything."

He wasn't surprised by this, and he could tell Zechs wasn't also. The group was elusive and they prided themselves on that. "I can give you about a dozen names," he began eyes closing briefly only to see the names as though running before his eyes in a neat list, it had taken him three long years to compile just that many. Each one seemed to mock him and his inability to bring this organization to the ground. "Each member is only supposed to know two others, what information we need it passed through word of mouth."

"Only twelve?" Zechs sounded surprised by this.

"The men who comprise the Inner Circle are fiercely loyal, and not just anyone is accepted in." Heero could feel his throat beginning to dry, and he paused hoping to stave off the painful cough he could feel coming. Zechs, having been watching intently saw what was about to happen and brought a cup of water close to Heero's head, so the straw was nearly touching his lips. Giving a nod of appreciation Heero sipped slowly at the drink before continuing. "They have men everywhere, anyone not one hundred percent committed was not accepted, and often times removed completely."

"So they'd see through someone trying to infiltrate…" Zechs mused to himself, "Unless they could create the perfect cover," the last sounded slightly bitter to Heero's ears. "What about here? Do they have anyone in the Defence Corp?"

"Not that I'm aware of…" Heero told him slowly, "They functioned mostly in the colonies, and kept the vast majority of their numbers on Freedom's Point. If they ever needed info from another source they'd send someone if they couldn't get it by other means first." He took a few more sips of the water, having not spoken this much in a long time.

"Does anyone know who's in charge?" was Zechs' next question.

Heero shook his head briefly, "Only the second and third, I could only back trace so far, and then they discovered who I was…" that had been the end of it all.

The platinum haired man sighed resting the side of his face in one hand, "What about the brand?"

"As it said in the file, that was the distinguishing mark for all members, a phoenix on the chest. Easily concealed but still easy to show when necessary," it had been a difficult aspect of the mission, to make the brand believable while avoiding having to actually brand himself. The last thing he had wanted after pulling that trigger was to mark himself permanently with the symbol of the organisation he planed to destroy.

"And what of yours?" Zechs asked as Heero expected he would.

"Faked," was the simple truth of the matter, his eyes traveled down to his chest covered by both the blankets and his shirt, but he knew no brand marred his skin.

Zechs nodded mutely, and silence took the room again, but this time Heero was pleased to see it was no longer awkward. The former OZ Commander was clearly more relaxed than he had been when he entered the room, over an hour ago. "How is Une planning to proceed?" he was fairly sure he knew what she'd be thinking but he wanted to be sure.

"Nothing until we're sure we can get them all in one sweep," he shifted a little in his chair, so slight was the movement it most likely would have been missed by anyone not as observant as a former Gundam pilot. To Heero's eyes it looked to him as though Zechs had suddenly become uncomfortable, not just anything could do that to him. What Zechs said next told Heero what had caused it. "They're not likely to make a move until they've completed Zero, and without you that's libel to take them a great deal longer. I wish I could say the upper hand was ours, we know where they're located and even where the Gundam is being built, but we don't know who all of them are…"

Heero nodded slowly having expected nothing less from Une and the others, "I can give you a place to start, maybe you'll have better luck than I did…"

"We do have access to a few more resources than you did," Zechs agreed not sounding thrilled about it.

His eyes fell closed as he spoke each name giving Zechs time to write them all down, perhaps with enough time they'd be able track this organisation back to its head. He didn't hold out much hope that that would be possible, but finding the head had never been the real goal, just putting a stop to them at any cost.

MWMWMWM

Une sat in the silence of her office, a budget report held loosely in one hand, as she mentally double checked the numbers presented to her. It had amazed her how quickly the world moved on, away from the shocking news of Heero's death. Of course that was only speaking about the news media, there were plenty of people out there who would looking to make a buck on this event. Une had already caught word of several books, and at least one movie and TV special that were now in the works. She wondered if these people had been waiting all this time on the edge of their seats for this 'last' part of Heero's life before they truly started their works. It disgusted her to think how they'd fly off the shelves when presented to the public, there was no possible way any of them could hold even a glimmer of truth. But Une had known for a long time, in truth used this knowledge for her own gain more than once, that the public preferred rumour to truth.

Sitting forward Une took up her pen, and signed off on the report satisfied with the figures she had come up with. She then slipped it in a folder and slipped into a basket on the edge of her desk, that her secretary would empty later that day. The door at the far side of her office opened suddenly and Une looked up in surprise a shark rebuke dying on her tongue when she saw that it was Zechs who chose to enter her office unannounced. She stood to greet her once rival properly, and he accepted her hand in a strong grip before taking a seat across her desk. Une assessed the king at a glance seeing a look of stress around his eyes, and those eyes were offering Une a rare glimpse into the emotions behind. It was clear he was at war within himself, there were feelings of good like he might have accomplished something very hard, but for each goodthing there, there was something to equal it in bad. Self hatred seemed at the forefront of this, and even now Une was fairly sure she knew where Zechs had come from.

"What brings you here?" she asked, breaking the lingering silence, Zechs didn't appear to be in any rush to start talking.

"I went to see him…" Zechs said after clearing his throat, he straightened in his chair his face assuming a mask of indifference. Une knew how taxing it was to wear that mask all the time, dropping it—if only for a moment—was enough to help them wear it perfectly in the public eye, where there could be no slips.

"And how is he doing?" she hadn't been able to find a reason to be in that section of the agency and not wanted to raise questions she had kept away.

"As well as can be expected I guess," that took effort for him to say, but he did it without flinching.

Une watched him silently, knowing that was not all he was going to say, but as the silence continued to stretch, she found herself sitting forward in her chair. "And?" she prompted softly.

Zechs blinked and gave his head a slight shake "He was able to give me twelve names," from the inside pocket of his black business suit Zechs withdrew a sheet of folded paper and passed it across the table.

Taking the paper Une unfolded it her eyes scrolling down the names, not recognising one of them, "Members of the Inner Circle?" she asked already expecting that to be the case.

"Yes, three years, and that's all he was able to get," he sighed coming to his feet, and strode over to her window. "It doesn't bode well for us, I doubt if we'll ever be able to name them all, least of all the heads."

Une rocked her chair back slowly, while her eyes continued to study the list, "You're right but that's why we're going to have to find another way to approach this, before they're ready to use Zero."

"That gives us a good deal of time," Zechs glanced her way as he spoke, there was something in his tone that caught Une.

"What's on your mind?" she inquired placing the paper safely in the front drawer of her desk.

Silence was his response as he looked away as though trying to pretend what he had let slip hadn't happened. Une waited patiently knowing Zechs better than most, she could read him,there was something he wanted to say but, at the same time would rather not. "He has no idea…" was Zechs' slow beginning, "He thinks he's escaped the Inner Circle without the brand."

Une studied him critically, was that what this was about? She hadn't seen the brand but had been informed that Heero had been marked by them. It had been Duo who brought this information to her, and it was he who was searching for anything he could find on when it had been done. "Do you think it will bother him all that much?" Une could understand the outrage at something being done to your person against your will. But Heero was such a strong man, she had trouble imagining him so bothered by it, "He's one of the strongest men I know."

"I wore the mark of the White Fang…" Zechs said with a sigh his ice blue eyes remaining fixed on the world outside her window. "It was just the uniform, with a band on the sleeve, but I hated it. It was the clear signal that I had betrayed the earth, and Treize, it doesn't matter that Treize could see what I had planed."

He paused then, but Une remained silent knowing Zechs was not finished. It was obvious where he was going with thisand it was going to take him several moments to gather his thoughts. "It was something I could take off and leave behind me. I'm no longer a part of White Fang." Zechs turned to look at her, then his expression hardened, "Heero doesn't have that option, the Inner Circle doesn't wear a uniform. There's nothing he can take off to put them behind him. He thinks himself separate from them because he doesn't have the brand." He walked away from the window back to the chair he had been in before, "How do you think he'll feel when he finds out he didn't escape it?"

Une considered this for a moment, "You think, we should tell him? It's not really something he needs to be thinking about right now." John had been firm, when the brand had been discovered. He didn't want it mentioned, and Une could see where he was coming from; she left the issue in his capable hands.

The king just shrugged his face looking displeased, there was no simple answer, and no happy outcome to any of this. But at least for now they could forget about some things, worry about them when the time came. "All I'm saying is I think, keeping it from him could turn out to be worse in the long run," Zechs told her finally, moving to the edge of his seat as though ready to leave.

Swivelling her chair around so she was completely facing him Une opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by the buzz of her intercom. She put her thought to the side as she picked up her phone, "Ma'am Dante is waiting for you on line one, should I patch him through?"

"Just one moment please," Une pressed her hand to the phone and looked back to Zechs who was already coming to his feet. "We're done here?" she inquired.

"Yeah," he breathed making his way over to the door, "You'll be sure Duo gets those names…" it was neither a question nor a direct order, just a simple reminder.

"I will," that said Zechs left without comment, and Une turned her mind to other matters. Returning the receiver to her ear Une spoke, "Put him through to my vid-phone."

"Yes Ma'am," her secretary responded curtly.

Placing the phone down Une turned her chair and switched the afore mentioned phone on, seeing Dante's handsome face almost immediately. He offered her a warm and pleasant smile before his expression became serious once more. It was clear that this was a business call, but it wasn't like that was a disappointment for Une, most of their conversations were business based. Still they seemed to connect no matter what they were talking about. "You're looking well my Lady," he greeted her in very much the same way Treize would have.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" she asked with a smile of her own. They were in an unknown position, the world was unaware of their relationship because quite frankly neither of them were that sure where they stood. Une was attracted to Dante, there was no question about that, but both of their positions made any serious relationship difficult. So they had to make do with the distance, there conversations holding a very personal undercurrent.

"I wish it could just be the pleasure of hearing your voice," Dante sighed his smile fading, "But in all honestly I'm calling on Ash's behalf."

At that moment all subtle flirting ended, where Ash was concerned it felt totally wrong to do so. Une was well aware of how hard the news of Heero's 'death' had hit the man, and that she was now seen as the bringer of death. It certainly put tension into Une and Dante's relationship, as Ash was Dante's right hand man in all things. "And what can I do for him?" Une leaned to one side in her chair resting her head lightly upon one hand.

"As you know three weeks from now a conference is being held at the palace, I along with President Winner will be present for this conference," Dante sat behind his desk in a relaxed manor. Une had been around him, and spoken to him enough to read beyond that, and see what lay behind. He was not happy about doing this, but his loyalty to Ash was very strong, he was always watching out for his friend. "I've learned recently that Ash believes my relationship with you, is keeping me from pressing about Heero's death."

"I've already told you all I can about that," she straightened, not liking telling this man a lie, but she was bound to this there was no way out of it, at least not that she herself could see.

Dante nodded immediately, very apologetic, "I know, but I was wondering if it might be possible to have Ash speak with the doctor who had been attending to Heero. Just so he can see that everything had been done to try and save him." The independent leader sighed eyes flickering away from the screen, "I just want him to be able to put this behind him."

The commander considered his request quickly, mind looking it over carefully. Could she grant this request? Outwardly she couldn't see any real problems, John was more than capable of answering any questions, and his kind nature would put a better face of this whole matter than was already there. Une knew she'd have to discuss this with the others and John himself before she would be able to fully commit to this. "I believe we might be able to arrange something, but…"

"I know," Dante broke in quickly one hand raised, and the smile returned to his face, "We don't intend to take without offering something in return, the only question is, what is it you'd like?" At any other time Une would have expected a flirtatious undertone in that question, but there was nothing there now.

Une's mind raced, what could she request that would be of use? She was reminded of the list of names sitting in her drawer, and an idea came to her suddenly. "We've been left with a lot of questions about Heero's past. Anything you can tell me about those three years he was with you, might help."

"I'll speak to Ash, he spent more time with Heero than anyone," Dante nodded appearing both pleased and relieved that they had come to an agreement. "I'll be in touch again before the conference," he offered her a genuine smile.

Returning the expression, her mind still working, Une switched off the vid-phone once Dante had cut the signal. Only seconds passed before Une was reaching for the phone and dialling Wufei's cell. She was not made to wait long, "Wufei here," the Chinese man answered clearly.

"Wufei, I need you to send John to my office when he comes in tonight," she told him getting right to the point.

"What's come up?" he asked voice smooth and deep.

"Dante called, he proposed an exchange of information, at the conference three weeks from now," Une informed laying her free hand out on her desk to finger at the pen resting there.

"What does he want to know?" Wufei inquired.

"He wants Ash to speak with John, to put to rest how Heero died."

"And he's offering…" the Chinese man left it open, awaiting her response.

Une took hold of the pen spinning it through her fingers without thought, "Any and all information on Heero's life during the three years he was with them."

"You hoping for something on the Inner Circle?"

"Perhaps, you're aware of the twelve names?" she asked in return.

"Zechs mentioned them in passing when he went up to see you, do you want me to start working them up?"

"No," Une said resisting the urge to shake her head despite the fact Wufei couldn't even see her. "I'll have Duo take a look into them, you just keep your focus on Heero for now."

"Besides checking on him every couple of hours my time is free, best to let me make the most of it," Wufei countered quickly. "If you like you can split the work between us, let me have half and Duo can take care of the rest."

Une considered this for a moment, and couldn't deny the logic of Wufei's thinking, reaching into her desk Une withdrew the piece of paper, and read off half the names. There was a moment of silence, "So you're going to have John speak with Ash and Dante, about what killed Heero? You don't think that might cause more problems for us?" the Chinese man questioned moving back to the problem at hand.

"I'll speak with John to be sure, but I think it should be fine, besides I'd very much like to know how Heero spent his time with them." She dropped the pen down on the table leaning her chair back so her eyes were studying the ceiling.

"I think John will feel the same way."

"Good, make sure he comes up to my office as soon as he gets here," Une sat forward in her chair preparing to hang up the phone.

"I'll tell him," without bothering with the goodbyes Wufei shut off his cell, and Une hung up the phone. This day was turning out to be more productive than she had begun to hope for.

Thanks for Reading!

**The Breaking Point**:

Wufei grunted at the effort it took to carry Luc's heavy body, as he and Duo walked out into the hall, leaving Heero's room behind. The Chinese man hoped John had more luck with Heero than they had, knowing thatnothing was going to make this easier. Wufei felt the familiar feeling of wanting to go back and change what had happened, stop it from ever having transpired. Knowing it was useless to dwell on something he had no power over Wufei pushed it aside and focused his thoughts on the task at hand. How were they going to dispose of the body without attracting dangerous attention? That wasn't an easy question to answer, any sort of attention on this was going to be bad attention, everything right now led back to Heero, something they couldn't let happen.

Wufei's steps halted immediately drawing Duo's eyes to him, "We can't go down to the morgue like this," he said, and watched as the light of realisation entered his friend's large eyes.

"There's no way we can explain this…" Duo mused aloud, it was clear his mind had not been thinking all that coherently up to this point. Slowly he lowered the blanket wrapped body to the ground, eyes looking to Wufei for a suggestion.

His mind turned the problem over quickly searching for the simplest most believable answer, only one solution played out in his mind, and Wufei reached for the knife he had added to the blankets, he took a moment to wipe it clean before handing it hilt first to Duo, "Stab me," he told him simply.

Duo's dark eyes flew wide, and he looked about ready to object when it seemed to hit him, and he realised where Wufei might have been going with this. "You can't think of anything better than that?" his hand had yet to move from his side.

"Nothing that isn't going to be more complicated, and the more complicated we get, the more loop holes there may be." Wufei reached across to Duo placing the knife in his hand by force, but kept his eyes on the other pilot's face. "Luc was jealous of Heero, because she still loved him, it's not so much of a stretch to say Luc was jealous of me, for all the time I spend with her. I never liked him to begin with, and that had never been hidden."

"So then the story is, he came at you with this knife, and we shot him…" his eyes were on the knife now as he switched his grip on it. He didn't look at all pleased about this, but it didn't take much to see that it was their only option. They stepped away from Luc's body together moving more towards the center of the hallway, watching each other in silence Wufei motioned for his left arm. "Ready?" Duo asked eyes flickering down to the knife, his voice sounded hollow as though he had distanced himself from this. Wufei didn't blame him, he didn't like putting Duo in this situation at all.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	33. The Breaking Point

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Well here's the double chapter as promised. I'd like all of you to know that things might be bad for Heero in these chapters but I've already written a really relaxed light group of chapters involving Ash, so I you'll enjoy and look forward to the funness. As for me I'm looking forward to Anime North (smiles) which I leave for in a few hours! Have a great weekend all of you! And please enjoy the story!

Thanks to morgansgirl for editing these chapters!

**Rekkaboziegirl**: Thank's for reviewing! Yes Luc is gone, I hope you find his end satisfactory despite the fact it may be hard to read. Believe me some really good things are going to be happening for Heero in short order, so I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Lay Lay Hime**: Thank you! I'm glad you liked the Zechs scene his is just a first in a series of difficult scenes to write, this section of the story took me so long to complete it's really nice to know that everything's working out so far. I hope you enjoy these two chapters as much as the rest!

**Squall-l-l**: What was interesting? The chapter? The preview? What? (laughs) Thanks for reviewing! I hope you like the double chapter!

**Baka-san517**: THANK YOU! Glad you're liking it (smiles) I hope this update didn't take to long, I also hope these chapters were worth the wait!

**D3**: Thank you for the review! I'm really sorry about the delays, I working on removing them entirely but it might take a little time. So long as I'm ahead of what I'm posting (which I still am) and have editors who return the chapters in short order, I should be able to update a lot more consistently. I'm really glad despite the delays the chapters are still worth the wait! I hope this double chapter was too!

**Sakura Blossom-Cilla-85**: Thanks for the review! If you're referring to Luc, I'd hate to spoil anything for you (smiles) you'll find out soon enough just exactly what happened to him! I hope you enjoy the double chapter.

**reiniku**: Thank you so much for the review! I hope these chapters were worth the wait, and that you enjoy Duo's role, it may be coming slowly but all the pilots will be worked more fully into the story. Thanks again!

**rayshine**: Thank you! I hope you find these two chapters right after I post (smiles) and that they were worth the wait! I don't think I've ever written a story that I've put more thought into, I think this is a real test for myself to see if I can write a novel (smiles) so far, so good! Thanks again!

**LovesAngel**: Thank you! I hope these are worth the wait, and that the wait hasn't been too long!

**Rikothedeathangel**: (smiles) I really hope things get better for you, just reading your reviews I remember what it was like. I'm almost entirely out of it, but I've been struggling with the feeling like my life is on hold. I really hope you can find something or someone who can make you happy again. I'd say 'I hope this chapter brightens your day a little' if it didn't have the potential to be a depressing chapter, but in the next chapter you get a kiss between Heero and Relena (smiles) that's got to be worth something right? Luc dies in this chapter, I won't say any more I'd hate to spoil it for you! Thanks again for the review!

**lil'demon**: Why thank you! I shall pass along the compliments (smiles). I'm glad you liked the scene with Zechs, I'll tell you it was hard to write, but not as hard as some of the others I've had to do after it (smiles) I hope you enjoy these two chapters!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing

**The Breaking Point**

He threaded his way through the halls and open spaces of the agency like a wraith, moving quickly trying to avoid notice. He had a goal clear in mind, and was not about to let anything distract him from it. It had taken Luc over two weeks to confirm as clearly as he could that Heero had indeed not died. After that it hadn't taken him long to decide where they'd be keeping him, the only problem was finding a safe time to pay the traitor a visit. It had been a long and hard two weeks for the doctor, as he played the part needed to stay within the agency and not raise any eyebrows. There was a reason Une had been convinced to tell the world Heero had died, therefore he had to remain non-threatening else she might feel the need to take drastic measures to protect the traitor.

What lies had Heero spread to John to make this happen, and what had the old fool done to help? Luc felt his frustrations rise but carefully forced them back down, it would end today. It was getting on to evening so the pace of the agency had shifted as less staff members crowded the halls. Luc had been off work for several hours, and had left to buy himself a few drinks toasting his victory to come. A hand absently reached to pat the narrow lump in his front pocket and for a moment his mind was awash with the images of what he planned.

It had been a great effort to focus his mind on the usual business of the day, tending to numerous patients as an assistant to Sally who had been quieter than usual these past few weeks. But that was the only sign that anything was different with her, and it was something so subtle no one other than Luc really would have noticed. He was not about to question her on it knowing it would make his position vulnerable, and expose him in ways he couldn't afford. So he moved on as had the rest of the world, pretending as though he had never laid eyes on Heero Yuy, yet Heero Yuy was all he could think of. It certainly didn't help, that the news media had yet to get tired of the story, feeling the need to cover every facet in mind numbing detail, despite the less than adequate knowledge they had.

Reaching the elevator which would bring him to his destination, Luc let loose a sigh, feeling as though the first hurdle had been passed. It had been John—that hated man—who had confirmed for Luc the truth of Heero's presence. Had Heero been dead as announced there would have been no need for John to come in every night as he had while Heero still 'lived.' With the world not being privy to the knowledge of who had been taking care of Heero before his death, it was no wonder that the old doctor's presence didn't raise any eyebrows, but it stood out like a red flag to Luc. Stepping onto the elevator, Luc chose the floor and waited impatiently for it to take him there. He found himself fidgeting and tried to stop, but his hands trembled despite himself. Whether it was nerves or the drinks the doctor couldn't tell or care, he was on the road to his own victory, nothing would stop him.

Releasing and unconsciously held breath upon seeing the hall was empty and his presence still unknown, Luc stepped off the elevator and made his way down the hall. His eyes locked immediately upon the room Heero was being kept in, it was all to easy for him to enter it, what with the key card he had been given months back when Relena had been rescued. But he pulled himself back, he needed to retrieve something from the storage room across the hall first. No doubt Heero possessed a means to call the others too him, and Luc did not want to risk having them come in before he was finished having his fun.

Swiping the card through the reader Luc quickly stepped inside feeling adrenaline flow through his veins more so now than when he had first arrived. This was the moment, it was really happening, he would take his revenge, without interference. He scanned the shelves quickly searching for his desired item. It had struck him as odd the first time he had come in here along with Sally only to find a tranq gun resting on one of the many selves. He remember asking Sally what possible purpose that could serve, and she had laughed saying if he didn't know yet, there would come a time when he would.

Taking the gun from its odd place among medical equipment Luc studied it feeling its weight in his hands. He had not yet had occasion to use it, but once had asense with Wufei several years back, and with Relena's other bodyguards on lesser occasions. It was enough for him to see why such an instrument might be of use. These men were sosurprisingly stubborn and incredibly strong that it took a great deal to bring them down, and the same went for Heero. The fact that he was still alive after everything was proof enough of that. Luc took the gun firmly in his left hand and along with a small bottle of the antidote he left the room behind him, and crossed over to Heero's.

His hand shook visibly as he reached out to slide his card down the reader, not even a second passed before the door unlocked and he was pushing it open, gun raised and ready. The traitor's head turned in surprise at his approach, and there was a brief flash of shock and anger before the dart was fired and his eyes fell closed. Luc placed the gun down on the countertop near the door, and withdrew the tiny bottle of antidote that he had dropped in his pocket. It was hard for him to not simply cross over to the traitor's unconscious form and end it all, but he wanted Heero to be awake for this. Removing a syringe from a drawer, Luc began preparing it, measuring out a dose of the drug that would be just enough to wake, but should leave Heero immobile.

WMWMWMW

Heero felt a jolt in his brain, like a hook catching into his flesh, and dragging him from some unknown darkness. Pain was registered first, but Heero simply forced it aside pain was something he often woke too, it wasn't important. His mind struggled to remember what had happened, there was a feeling of suddenness and shock, but he was having trouble recalling what it had been linked too. As the seconds silently ticked past, Heero became aware of a heavy weight resting on his hips, clearly one source of the new pain, as the gash along his pelvis had yet to fully heal. Panic began to set in shortly after and Heero fought against it refusing to loose to such an emotion.

Who was in his room resting atop him? A flash of memory raced across Heero's eyes then, a face he recognised all too well. The gears in his mind threatened to come to a grinding halt, but Heero knew he couldn't let that happen, he had to fight against the panic and shame that washed over him. No matter what he wouldn't let it show, opening his eyes slowly—eyes burning with a cold fire—Heero looked at the man straddling his body. Luc's face was contorted with a sadistic smile and he played with something in his hands, but managed to keep it shielded from Heero's view.

Despite the fact that he was awake, his eyes open, and mind processing, Heero still felt drugged as though it had not all left his system. He blinked trying to remove the feeling, he was at too much of a disadvantage as it was. Luc chuckled suddenly, "It wouldn't do you any good," he sneered with pleasure "You should be feeling like that for an hour or more…if I let you live that long." Heero glared up at the man, wanting to do something, but being completely unable too, he certainly wasn't going to give Luc any sort of satisfaction.

"I knew it couldn't be true…" he continued the item in his hands becoming visible to Heero's eyes, he was not surprised to see a switchblade. Luc leaned in close then, flicking the blade out as he did, "What sort of lies did you tell them?" Heero could smell liquor on his breath, it was not over powering, but unmistakable nonetheless.

"It was John wasn't? Only he could have convinced Sally," he looked away bitterly, that stabbed at Heero, the fact that Luc felt confident enough to take his eyes off Heero, just drove the truth home all that much harder. "That old bastard," Luc hissed angrily before returning his gaze. The man's mood changed suddenly though, Heero wouldn't have said he was happy, not by far, but a manic look entered his eyes. He studied Heero carefully one corner of his mouth turning up slowly as he did. "You used to be like them didn't you? I remember seeing you among their numbers guarding her."

Luc shook his head slowly "I know what the other's are like, you're nothing like them now," he sounded delighted by that. The knife was raised so the lights of the rooms reflected off the blade, there was nothing Heero could do but watch, and feel his anger boil over his inability. Luc reached out taking hold of Heero's right hand, the former pilot felt the pull on his still healing wounds, and the stress placed upon the broken bones. Still he did nothing more than stare at Luc without feeling, that appeared to enrage the man even more, though he did seem to be trying to keep some sort of hold over himself.

The doctor placed the hilt of the knife into Heero's limp hand, and forced the fingers to grip around it. "How simple it would be to just kill you right now," he gloated, Luc shook his head slowly, "But that would be too good for you wouldn't it?" Luc kept a firm hold on Heero's hand which was holding the knife, and raised the limb up over Heero's torso, which the Japanese man noted was uncovered. That fact had escaped him until this moment, and that realisation only fuelled the frustration and anger he was feeling. The doctor seemed to choose and arbitrary spot on Heero's chest to press in the tip of the blade. Heero refused to take his eyes off Luc's face as the knife was slowly pulled down his torso, cutting the flesh and leaving a trail of blood behind.

At the end of his stroke Luc raised the knife studying the blood dripping of the tip, internally Heero's body jerked to respond, but there was nothing he could do, no way for him to gain the upper hand. Once more Luc pierced the skin and dragged the tip down the length of Heero upper body, he did not choose a straight path as he split the skin. Heero found himself biting the inside of his cheek, not out of pain, but raging frustration and hatred, the latter equally directed at both himself and Luc. Heero could feel rivulets of blood dripping down his sides to the once white sheets below. Luc's face contorted into a harsh glare, and gripping Heero's hand tighter he drew it away from the fresh wound, and suddenly stabbed down viciously. The tip of the blade connected with one of Heero's damaged ribs sending a wave of pain through his entire body. Despite himself a gasp of pain escaped him, as blackness swam before his eyes, and through it he could see Luc smile.

This wasn't going to end, Heero realised as the knife point pierced his flesh again. Either Luc would get bored, and end it here and now, or one of the pilots, would come into the room. The second option didn't seem all that likely at least not before the first would come true. They seemed to try and give him as much time alone as possible coming in only when necessary, roughly every three hours. He knew the last visit had not been too long ago. Heero's entire body itched to reach out and kill Luc, but it was beyond him utterly and completely. He was helpless at the hands of this man toofar gone on drink and a crazed desire.

Heero's focus turned suddenly to his left hand, still thickly wrapped in bandages from the knife wound Luc had inflicted weeks before. Placed near to one of his exposed fingertips was a call buzzer, something he had been told would alert both John and the other pilots if he ever needed anything. It wasn't something Heero had liked the idea of using, and even now he didn't. He wanted very much to be able to handle Luc on his own, to prove to himself that he could, that he wasn't helpless. To his shame and bitter rage he knew he couldn't, this device was his only way out, the only question now was could he move his finger enough to press the switch?

WMWMWMW

Wufei and Duo lounged in the common room of their floor, Relena had not been feeling well that morning and had cancelled her few meetings to take the day off. Leaving both pilots with little to do but relax. Wufei continued the task of checking in on Heero and trying to get him to eat, but the Japanese man was beginning to become more stubborn and impatient with each passing day. Duo had come in ready for work before he was informed the day had been cancelled, but he had decided to remain at the agency for a time before returning home to Hilde and his young son. They had been sitting together for a time now, the conversation having died off a little while back.

Duo had yet to bring himself to see Heero, and despite Wufei's promptings to do so, the Chinese man felt it would still be awhile before Duo was able too. He was not at all surprised by this, Duo had been closest to Heero before this whole mess began. A part of him had thought Duo would be the first to walkthrough that door to speak with Heero, he wasn't about to force the American at gunpoint into the room, no matter how much he wanted to see some results.

A foreign sound broke the silence between them, Duo and Wufei both, reached into their pockets to retrieve the beeping object. Wufei was on his feet in a heartbeat exchanging concerned glances with Duo. It was a call from Heero, but what for? There had been more than one time already where Heero should have used the call button, but had refused. What could be so bad as to make him change his mind now? Dropping the small item back into his pocket Wufei made for the door, Duo not even a full step behind. For the moment at least his concern for his friend outweighed the guilt he had been feeling earlier.

It took them all of ten seconds to make it to Heero's door and unlock it, the sight on the other side stopped Wufei's thoughts. Luc sat on Heero's waist gripping Heero's right hand, that was holding a bloodied knife, and appeared to be half way to stabbing the Japanese man. Wufei's gun was out in an instant, and though the corner of his eye he saw Duo do likewise. Luc turned to look at them, his face alight with anger at having been interrupted. Wufei was beyond words as he stared at the doctor seated on his bloody friend gun trained steadily upon him.

"Get away from him Luc," he warned.

"Son of a Bitch," Duo hissed venomously.

The man seemed to hesitate for a moment as though at a loss as to what to do, meanwhile his grip upon Heero's hand subtly shifted. His eyes flashed briefly before he made his last move, without thought to the two guns trained on him Luc made to plunge the blade into Heero's throat. Before he could get the chance his body was sent sprawling across the upper edge of the bed and Heero's body, two bullets piercing his head nearly at the same mark. The knife dropped from Heero's limp hand, falling harmlessly to the side, and came to a stop on the bloody sheets.

Wufei was first to move, re-holstering his gun, and crossing the short distance to Heero's bed side, his eyes locked onto Heero's face even as he hands reached for Luc's body. The Japanese man's eyes were hardly open, and his breathing was coming in shallow gasps, a result of Luc's weight upon his damaged chest. "Heero?" Wufei asked, wanting some sort of acknowledgement from the injured man, to know he was alright. Heero's eyes opened a little wider, and he cobalt eyes turned up to regard the Chinese man, Wufei could see pain in those eyes but a fire also, but it was enough for the moment.

"Duo, help me with this," he motioned for Duo to take Luc's body from the other side, but as he did, his cell phone rang. His first thought was to ignore it Heero needed his attention more so than that, but it occurred to him, that John had been given the same buzzer they had, and could be in a panic right now. Reaching for the small cell in his pocket he switched it on, and held it to his ear with his shoulder, "Wufei here."

"Wufei, it's John, what's happen?" as expected the doctor's voice sounded extremely concerned.

"Luc," he said the name with a grunt as he helped Duo heave the body from Heero's bed and move to place it on the floor.

"What? How? When?" the doctor asked near frantic.

"I don't know," Wufei ground out bitterly, "We just got in here."

"How bad is it?" John was quick to ask.

"Luc's dead," Wufei straightened looking Heero over carefully now that Luc wasn't in the way. With all the blood it was hard to see what damage had been done, "Looks like he's cut him up pretty bad." Wufei stepped up beside Heero, and taking hold of a clean part of the blanket attempted to dab away some of the blood, "Nothing looks life threatening, but either you or Sally's going to need to take a look at this."

"I can be there in five minutes, I was on my way when I got the call, if you think it's necessary get Sally."

"I should be able to handle it until you arrive," Wufei assured, looking again to Heero's face, he didn't like what he was seeing in the former pilot's eyes, and quickly thought better of bringing an already uncomfortable Sally into the volatile situation. He didn't waste times with goodbyes but shut the cell off and tuckedit away. Duo stood over Luc's body, eyes trained on it and not Heero, it was clear he was uncomfortable, and Wufei couldn't blame him. He too was feeling a great deal of guilt, they had let this happen, Heero had been tortured just a few rooms down from where they had been relaxing. Wufei stopped himself, he couldn't give into those sorts of thoughts not now, not when Heero needed help.

"Duo," he called his friend's name waiting for him to make eye contact, "Can you take care of the body?"

The American looked up, his eyes appearing grateful for the suggestion, and he set to work grabbing the blankets from Heero's bed to wrap Luc in. No longer concerned with Duo, Wufei turned his full attention to Heero. Gathering a few cloths, Wufei wetted them with warm water from the sink, and began washing away some of the blood from Heero's thin chest. "Get out," the words had been spoken so softly Wufei had almost missed them at first, he took his eyes off what he had been doing to look Heero in the face.

"What?"

"Get out!" it was said more forcefully now, Heero's eyes flashing with his anger and frustration. Wufei exchanged a brief glance with Duo, who had stopped what he was doing, to study Heero uncomfortably.

"Heero I can't leave you like this, you're bleeding, I've got to get it under control," he spoke firmly, as he started working again, now beginning to see the damage done. He could feel Heero's anger, and could not imagine what this must have felt like to Heero.

"I don't need you in here!" Heero growled, his eyes showing clearly his emotions, it was a rare moment, to see so much in those eyes, and none of it good. Anger was at the forefront but Wufei could see beyond that, to the frustration, and shame, he also thought there might have been a hint of fear, something he had never expected.

"We can't just walk away Heero," Duo spoke up, eyes unwilling to look directly at Heero, "Not after we did once…"

Wufei looked to Heero, and it was like a switch had been flipped, there was nothing in those eyes now, they were completely devoid. Something in what Duo had said clearly struck Heero, but Wufei couldn't for the life of him think of what it might be. They both turned back to the tasks at hand, even less comfortable than they had been before. It was the door opening suddenly behind them that broke the heavy silence, and caused Wufei to breathe a sigh of relief.

WMWMWMW

John barely gave the card reader time to accept his card before he was pushing his way though the door, having no idea what he was going to see on the other side. Blood, was the first thing John's eyes registered a large spray of it coated the wall behind Heero's bed. John had never been made to feel sick at the sight of blood, yet he felt something now, more for how all this blood had come to be spilt, than the fact that it had been. His attention swept passed the two pilots in the room to rest directly on Heero's face, the boy's eyes were open, but there was nothing in them. John had seen that look before, and he didn't like it, he didn't like Heero to distance himself from the world, especially after something like this.

The atmosphere in the room felt uncomfortable more than he would have expected it too. Neither Duo nor Wufei looked at ease being here, not that John could blame them, he could imagine what thoughts were going through their heads at this moment. This had happened while they sat so close by, John felt immediately overwhelmed by the sheer gravity of the situation, but he forced it aside. Now was the time to just act, leave the emotions behind to deal with later, as hard as that might be. Wufei stepped away from the bed still holding a bloodied cloth in his hand, taking up the knife he looked to John briefly their eyes locking before he passed tossing the cloth in a bin.

"If you need anything just call," he told John softly as he came to a stop by Duo who was preparing to lift Luc's body and carry it from the room. The older doctor looked down at the sheet wrapped bundle, blood stained the white cloth, and he wasn't entirely sure it was all Luc's. He didn't know how to feel looking down on such a sight, he had never liked Luc, had actually despised him for the things he had done to Heero. But was this the right end to it all?

John shook his head, this was not the time to be thinking about it, his focus had to be entirely on Heero. Stepping deeper into the room John came to a stop at the edge of Heero's bed, and leaned down so he could better see the boy's face. "Heero?" he called the name softly wanting some sort of acknowledgement, he didn't like it when the boy shut himself down. "Say something Heero, let me know you're alright," he pleaded, as his eyes looked over the damaged more closely.

"Get out," the words held no weight, they were barely even whispered.

"Heero?" John was more than a little puzzled by this. By this point they were alone in the room both Wufei and Duo had left, presumably to take care of Luc's body, John didn't even want to begin to consider that.

"I said get out!" the words were more forceful now, but tightly controlled, as though Heero didn't want to loose control just yet, but was balanced on the edge.

"I can't do that Heero," John soothed, "These injuries need to be looked after."

The boy's eyes opened wider then, and the fire of his anger was clearly seen, "I don't want your help!"

John gave a start at this sudden burst of emotions, it was lacking in the logical thought that Heero usually possessed. It seemed much more like that of a teenager, John could clearly remember his children acting in a similar way when he was young. That thought really struck John shaking him roughly, forcing him to see Heero as though for the first time. The boy was just barely an adult, not even, by John's standards, it was not unreasonable to expect such behaviour from him. "I can't leave this Heero," John tried for a firmer tone, suspecting gentleness, and kind understanding were too things the Japanese boy didn't want at the moment. "You've already lost a fair deal of blood, you can't afford to lose any more. What if infection sets in?" he added the last as an afterthought, not wanting to even think about the possibility himself.

Heero turned his head away, frustration clearly playing across his features, it amazed John, the control this youth had, he was battling to remain in this state of half calm. And for the moment at least he was winning, thought John was of the opinion that that was not a good thing. Heero couldn't insist on keeping everything bottled up inside, it was going to end up being as bad for him as the bleeding he was doing right now. "Do you realise that it could kill you?" he chose his words carefully keeping his tone firm, trying to light the short fuse that was keeping Heero's anger in check.

"I don't care!" the former pilot suddenly flared, his eyes locking onto John's face, and the old doctor could see, Heero didn't know where to direct his anger there was just so much of it. "At least dead I'd be in control!" John was left speechless by this, could he really feel that bad? Was that the only out he could see? How long had he been feeling this way? These were questions none of which John was able to get out as he stared down at the boy, who's head slowly turned away, "I'd be in control…" his words were barely audible, as those intense eyes fell closed and he turned his head away from John. "What ever you need to do…do it…I don't care…"

John was left stunned that this had not been the extent of Heero's anger, he had still managed to keep it back at least most of it. But John wasn't about to push for more, that's not what the boy needed at the moment. He movedquickly to gather the supplies he would need to clean and close those gashes. When his hands touched upon Heero's torso for the moment he was shocked at the tension built up there, he very much wanted to boy to relax. As the tense moments dragged on John found himself humming a soothing tune, something he had been known to do with his younger patients as a way to reassure them. Silence could be frightening, but there was difficulty also in trying to hold a conversation with one so young. It shocked John the moment he felt Heero's body slowly relax beneath his fingertips. He had not allowed himself to hope that it would actually work on someone such as Heero.

WMWMWMW

Wufei grunted at the effort it took to carry Luc's heavy body, as he and Duo walked out into the hall, leaving Heero's room behind. The Chinese man hoped John had more luck with Heero than they had, knowing thatnothing was going to make this easier. Wufei felt the familiar feeling of wanting to go back and change what had happened, stop it from ever having transpired. Knowing it was useless to dwell on something he had no power over Wufei pushed it aside and focused his thoughts on the task at hand. How were they going to dispose of the body without attracting dangerous attention? That wasn't an easy question to answer, any sort of attention on this was going to be bad attention, everything right now led back to Heero, something they couldn't let happen.

Wufei's steps halted immediately drawing Duo's eyes to him, "We can't go down to the morgue like this," he said, and watched as the light of realisation entered his friend's large eyes.

"There's no way we can explain this…" Duo mused aloud, it was clear his mind had not been thinking all that coherently up to this point. Slowly he lowered the blanket wrapped body to the ground, eyes looking to Wufei for a suggestion.

His mind turned the problem over quickly searching for the simplest most believable answer, only one solution played out in his mind, and Wufei reached for the knife he had added to the blankets, he took a moment to wipe it clean before handing it hilt first to Duo, "Stab me," he told him simply.

Duo's dark eyes flew wide, and he looked about ready to object when it seemed to hit him, and he realised where Wufei might have been going with this. "You can't think of anything better than that?" his hand had yet to move from his side.

"Nothing that isn't going to be more complicated, and the more complicated we get, the more loop holes there may be." Wufei reached across to Duo placing the knife in his hand by force, but kept his eyes on the other pilot's face. "Luc was jealous of Heero, because she still loved him, it's not so much of a stretch to say Luc was jealous of me, for all the time I spend with her. I never liked him to begin with, and that had never been hidden."

"So then the story is, he came at you with this knife, and we shot him…" his eyes were on the knife now as he switched his grip on it. He didn't look at all pleased about this, but it didn't take much to see that it was their only option. They stepped away from Luc's body together moving more towards the center of the hallway, watching each other in silence Wufei motioned for his left arm. "Ready?" Duo asked eyes flickering down to the knife, his voice sounded hollow as though he had distanced himself from this. Wufei didn't blame him, he didn't like putting Duo in this situation at all.

With on crisp nod of his head, Duo lunged into motion, knife leading the way. Wufei moved at the same time forward and off to the side, wincing only slightly as the steel bit into his skin and pulled down his arm raggedly, then it was done. Duo jumped back, immediately taking note of the wound but only for a second. The Chinese man looked over to his bleeding arm, griping the long gash with his right hand, blood quickly seeped between his tanned fingers and began dripping to the floor. His arm burned sharply but it was a pain simple meditation had taught him to ignore, it was no longer a part of him if he didn't want it to be. Duo wasted no time in tearing several strips of cloth from the blankets and coming to Wufei's side.

"That's going to need stitches…" he said softly tying the first strip like a tourniquet, and the others slightly looser down the rest of the gash.

"I'll deal with it later, clean your prints and mine from the blade, and put it in Luc's hand," he knew it wasn't really necessary to explain that to Duo, but he didn't want his friend to start dwelling on what he had been forced to do.

It only took a minute to clean the knife, and plant the prints, then they were moving to lift Luc's body again. It became a little more difficult for Wufei now that his left arm was not willing to support the weight but they managed.

WMWMWMW

Une was just sitting back to a nice cup of red wine, glad to have another long day behind her, when the phone on the table beside her rang. She resisted the urge to sigh heavily, despite the fact there was no one present to hear, and simply reached for the receiver instead. "Une," she said crisply, her voice one of command, she didn't appreciate being called after hours unless it was important.

"It's Wufei," his familiar voice greeted into her ear, "There's been an incident."

"What kind of incident?" Une put aside her wine glass sitting straighter in her chair, she didn't like the tone in his voice.

"We found Luc in Heero's room."

Une resisted the urge to swear violently at that, that was the last thing any of them needed right now. There was no need for her to ask what happened, as Wufei started to tell her, "He was torturing him. Heero called us, we came, Luc's dead."

She would have liked a few more details, but it appeared those would have to come later, "And what have you done now?"

"John's with Heero, he was already on his way in when he got the call. And Luc's been taken to the morgue."

"What did you tell them?" Une demanded, she didn't doubt Wufei's abilities in any situation, but this was a particularly difficult one.

"That he came at me with a knife and tried to kill me, he was jealous of the time I spent with Relena," Wufei told her simply and to the point.

Une knew that could be taken for fact but what proof was there, "Will it be believed?" she had to ask.

"The coroner did," there was a pause, "The stitches should prove it enough to anyone else…"

"What stitches?" she asked urgently.

"We had to make it real, I just had Duo use Luc's knife, it's nothing major," Wufei said seeming to try and brush the matter aside. But Une was hardly convinced she had watched these pilots since they were fifteen, she knew what sort of pain they could deal with.

"Wufei," she made his name a warning, in the background she caught another voice, one she recognised to be Duo's.

"Best to get that stitched now, before the material fuses to your skin."

"I just wanted to give you a heads up, his families going to need to be notified," Wufei continued his voice sounding pained for a moment, perhaps while Duo checked the bandages. Une wanted a vid-phone at that moment, to see how bad it really was.

She nodded to herself not caring that they couldn't see, her quiet evening was forgotten, there were now important things to do. "Alright leave it to me, I want a full report on your condition tomorrow.

"Understood," he ended the conversation after that, shutting off his cell.

Une sat there for a moment gathering her thoughts, before she climbed from her seat, the next few calls she was going to have to make would be best done with her vid-phone. She did sigh then, why did this situation have to keep making itself more difficult?

WMWMWMW

Wufei slipped his cell phone back into his pocket as he and Duo stepped back out onto their floor, his onyx eyes saw the splatters of blood on the white tiles of the floor, as they strode down the hall back to Heero's room. "Wouldn't it be better to get Sally?" Duo asked his expression becoming obviously uncomfortable as he stood outside the door.

"I'd rather deal with her anger after it's stitched not while she's stitching it," Wufei said with a brief sake of his head, besides that he wanted to be sure Heero was alright, that things were better than they were when he had left the room.

Punching in the code Wufei's eyes looked to John standing over Heero's side as the door slid opened. The older doctor looked up as they entered, but Heero didn't move. Wufei's eyes swept the room, noting John's supplies still on the counter bloodied and waiting to be cleaned. Among them was a small bottle, it was too small for Wufei to read but he suspected it was some form of sedation. Heero's chest rose and fell in an even way, signalling a deep—hopefully—restful sleep. "How is he?" Wufei asked stepping in so Duo could follow in behind.

John sighed turning towards them, "His wounds will heal…" there was an obvious catch in his voice, as one hand reached out to rest on Heero's forehead. "He's not going to be easy to be around, but you can't avoid him because of that," John stepped away from the bed then and began cleaning up the mess on the countertop. "Where's Luc's body now? Probably the morgue?" the last wasn't really a question, just quiet musing to ones self, but something clearly occurred to John then. "Good Lord what did you tell them?" he spun, the mess forgotten.

"That he came at Wufei with a knife," Duo broke in forcefully turning his friend, so his previously concealed left side was visible to the old doctor. John gasped taking hold of Wufei's arm and slowly moving the bandages aside to better see what lay beneath.

"We had to make it believable," Wufei explained wincing as fresh scabs tore when the cloth was pulled aside.

John just shook his head, "You know I read your files that Sally gave me, but I honestly thought she was exaggerating about some of it."

"Guess we proved you wrong…" Wufei found himself being guided to a chair and gently pressed down into it. His eyes sought out Duo and found him standing near by his lavender eyes jumping between watching what John was doing and staring at Heero. Wufei's attention was pulled back to his arm when he heard John suck in a breath.

"Did you have to make it so deep?" he asked looking between the two of them.

Wufei shrugged his good arm, "It had to be done, I've informed Une she's covering the rest."

"Alright," John sighed standing, "Let me get something to freeze the wound then I'll stitch you up."

"Don't worry about that, just stitch it," Wufei bade, already prepared to drop himself into a state of mediation where he would feel none of it.

John was shaking his head when Duo dropped a hand onto his shoulder, "It's okay, he can handle it." The older doctor look less than pleased about all this, and still appeared ready to put up a fight, but in the end he just nodded his head, perhaps remembering something he had read in the files Sally gave him.

"Help him get his shirt off," John told Duo as he moved across the room to retrieve more supplies.

Wufei shuffled forward in the chair so it would be easier, and began unbuttoning the shirt he was wearing. Duo helped him slide the now ruined shirt off his wounded arm and then stepped back giving John the room he would need. The doctor halted on his way back over for a brief moment.His eyes studying Wufei's right side, and the elaborate black tattoo which twisted its way up his arm, and spread out across his shoulder blade. It was a Chinese dragon Wufei had had done several years back. It watched his back for him and held within one clawed foot, a single fragile flower. A subtle tribute to his dead wife. "That's beautiful…" John said as he walked around to Wufei's left side kneeling once more on the hard floor.

Unsure what to say Wufei just nodded, he had never made a point of showing it off to people, it was something he had wanted to do to remember where he had come from, who it was who had helped make him strong. Wufei dropped his consciousness back as John began cutting away the makeshift bandage, he could see what was going on around him, and even hear to some extent but the pain was all but gone. John worked quickly to clean out the wound, and with Duo handing him the needed material proceeded to stitch it up. Wufei watched it all seeing tiny details he may well have missed had he been feeling the pain he knew to be there just beyond the borderof his mental block. The job was done quickly and efficiently and soon John was working to cover the now stitched wound with thick gauze to protect it.

Wufei allowed himself to come back fully knowing the pain he had felt before would be greater now that the gash had been aggravated by closing it. He opened his eyes a little wider and pulled his arm back to his side when John had finished with it. The older doctor rose slowly to his feet, using the arm of the chair to pull himself up, "Duo will you lend me a hand cleaning Heero, and changing the sheets?" he asked softly, stripping the disposable gloves from his hands he had wornwhile stitching the gash.

Duo looked very uncomfortable at the thought, eyes looking away almost longingly for the door. Wufei stood then, taking hold of his ruined shirt as he did, "I'll help," he offered, not as comfortable being in here as he had been, but still better off thanDuo.

"No you won't," John rounded quickly face stern, "I didn't just stitch that arm to have you tear them all out again. Go get some rest, I'll bring some medication by later for the pain."

Wufei opened his mouth to object, not appreciating being ordered around, when Duo stepped forward successfully cutting him off. "It's alright," he stepped closer to Wufei, "I can't just keep avoiding him…nothing's going to make this easier." His eyes were down cast, but there was determination in his voice even if it was buried deep. Wufei nodded slowly in acceptance of this, and casting one last glance Heero's way to assure himself his friend still breathed, walked from the room. He didn't feel tired enough to sleep at the moment, but he figured he could at least spread the word to the few people who needed to know, that Une would not have a chance to speak with.

His arm throbbed painfully with each beat of his heart, but he doubted he'd bother taking anything John might bring to him. He wondered though if he'd find himself taking it despite his resolve. John was a tricky man, not in the way Sally might drug their drinks or food, but rather he somehow managed to get Heero to agree, and allow things to happen, that he wouldn't for anyone else. Wufei wished he could be there to see exactly what it was, but then again in a few hours he might just see it first hand.

Thanks for Reading!

**The Road to What You Really Want**:

What Relena could see of Heero's eyes in that moment changed drastically, it was as if a switch had suddenly been hit, he was closing himself off from her. "What's wrong?" she asked worry dripping from her voice. She didn't like how quickly everything had changed, it felt to Relena as though every fortification Heero possessed was dropping into place blocking out the world around him. "Don't shut down on me," she pleaded to no avail. Desperation drove her actions, as she stood from her seat and leaned over Heero's prone form, pressing her lips to his in a quick kiss.

It was a contact she had dreamed of, longed for, and wished to lose herself in. But she didn't deserve to, and it was that unwanted truth that drew her back from Heero with tears standing out in her eyes, "I want to be back where we were, back there…" despite everything the guilt and pain between them, that kiss had felt so go…so right.

Heero's eyes were wide with surprise now, having been caught completely off guard by that kiss. Relena was relieved to see that he didn't look angry about it, "You sacrificed so much Heero…" Relena said cautiously touching his hand with one finger, "Don't you think you deserve a little happiness?" Whether she would ever be able to make it up to him, and be worthy of that happiness also Relena didn't know, nor did she really want to think about it.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	34. The Road to What You Really Want

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: I hope you all enjoy this chapter! Things are going to get better for Heero I promise, I just have things planned in the future that I think you'll all like that is related to the last chapter. I hope you'll all stick with me till then!

**Disclaimer**: still don't own Gundam Wing

**The Road to What You Really Want**

The click of a thick oak door closing behind him had usually been the signal for the end of another day for John. As hard as it could be at times, he tried to put the day behind him at that point, and simply focus on getting the sleep he'd need to make it back to Heero for the next day. But this was different, John dropped back against the door, now feeling the complete weight of the day. He had somehow managed to keep it from truly sinking in, he had done what was necessary, watched over Heero's sleeping form through the night, feeling he needed to be in the room beside the boy to protect him. He had refused to let himself really think about the fact that Heero had been tortured, it had been enough at the moment to simply tend tohis wounds. But now there was nothing to stop the thoughts from reeling through his head, Heero had been tortured, brutally controlled by a man who should have cared more for Heero's condition thanhis hatred.

John was well aware that even now in this time of peace there were men and women alike who's training taught them to break the 'enemy' to get information as quickly as possible. He wouldn't mince words, it was torture plain and simple, even if its end goal was knowledge not at the expense of the detainees' life. John could never approve of such tactics but having no say in the matter he triedhis best not to think on it. This however was completely different.This horrific act against Heero had pushed him to the edge of the breaking point, from which he had not yet come back. It had effected him much deeper thensimply the pain and loss of blood, and John did not even begin to know how to deal with it.

It wasn't even a problem for John picturing his son in Heero's situation, his emotions towards the boy had become very strong. He had often told himself to keep anemotional distance, but that's not what Heero needed right now.He needed to know there was someone there who trusted him, cared and would watch out for him. Even if these were things he couldn't yet admit to himself. John's head dropped back against the door and his eyes fell closed _Tortured…_ he felt the swirling emptiness of shock open out beneath him, making him feel as though he were falling. _How did this happen?_

"Poppa?" a thickly accented voice broke through his disturbing thoughts, and John forced his eyes opened to look upon his adoptive daughter. Nikki had been orphaned during the war, John and his wife had adopted her as there own, and she had been living happily ever since. She was the spitting image of an Irish woman, and her voice was like music to listen to. "Are you alright?" she asked concern written clearly on her pretty face.

John forced a smile to his face, standing up straight, "Of course," he told her dropping a reassuring hand on her shoulder, as he made to move past, he knew looking into her eyes he would not be able to fake it. He needed to be away from her innocence, "I'm just tired…" he walked on then feeling her eyes follow his ever step until he rounded a corner.

Breathing a sigh of relief when he closed the door to his room John turned to find his wife sitting by the window knitting as she often did in the early morning. She put it aside the minute he came in a warm welcoming smile gracing her features as she stood to greet him. That peaceful expression was not long lived, as she saw threw what he had shown to Nikki, and realised something was truly wrong. She took hold of his shoulders looking up into his eyes, John didn't want to look into her for fear of what she would see, of the power her eyes might have over him. "John what's wrong?" that was it, all his resistance vanished and he broke down, pulling Merrian against him he hugged her tightly tears streaming down his face in endless rivers.

He didn't hear any questions from her just soothing words, from which he could hear her concern. But there was no stopping it now everything he had kept pent up behind a wall came flooding out, and he wept all the more. Long minutes passed as Merrian continued to try and calm him, her fear over the cause of this sudden breakdown becoming more evident as each second ticked passed. John fought to bring himself back under control he wanted to reassure her as much as he could that he would be okay. Finally he managed it, taking a shaky breath John loosen his hold on his wife and together they slowly walked to the couch Merrian had been knitting in.

"John, what on earth happened?" Merrian asked gently touching one warm hand to his face.

John took a moment to gather himself before looking over to her, Merrian's beautiful face was filled with concern for him. It hurt him that he could not tell her what it really was, it wasn't that he didn't trust his wife, he did, with all his heart. Still he could not be the one to make this decision, to take any risk. Slowly John shook his head, "I'm not permitted to give any details."

This was nothing new to Merrian, doctor patient privilege kept him from telling her a great deal about the people he tended too. And being a part of a once military organisation added even greater restrictions on what he could and could not say. "Will you be alright?" she asked after several moments.

John forced a smile to his face, "I'll manage…"

"How much longer are they expecting you to do this? You are technically retired you know, there's no reason why you should be kept in this situation when it's affected you so much." Merrian as supportive as she was did have her limits, and she had not liked this situation from the very beginning.

"I can't do that," he shook his head unwilling to even consider what that could mean for Heero. "I _need_ to be there, right now there's no one else," he reached out to lightly touch her face, his small smile no longer forced. He was not so easily able to put aside what had happened, but at least now John felt he might be able to face Heero tomorrow and deal with whatever might come.

WMWMWMW

Wufei gripped his left arm lightly as he left his apartment, feeling only a little pain from the gash caused yesterday. His mind still felt clouded by the drugs John had pressed upon him the night before, and he made a mental note to avoid John if ever something like this should happen again. The man was good, there was no two ways about that, and Wufei was inclined to think he liked Sally's methods better, they were at times easier to deflect. It was to her room that he washeaded fornow. John had gone home for the day, informing Wufei before he left that Heero was still asleep from the sedation the night before. The longer the better, Wufei thought, he didn't want to think about how he would handle going in there for the first time after what happened just yet.

It was still early in the morning soWufei expected Sally to be awake, but to have notleft her room for the business day. Knocking lightly on her door the former pilot waited patiently for her to answer, he wasn't in any rush to get in there and speak to her. As inevitably things were not going to go well for him. Une had wanted a report on his condition, and it would be better for him now to go to Sally than to force her to track him down. Finally the door opened Sally's expression was hard to read as she moved aside to usher him in, "I take it you heard," he half asked half stated.

Sally simply nodded her head, "I never imagined he'd go so far…" running a hand through her loose hair she looked him over with a casual glance. "Une called me last night, how's…he doing?"

Wufei would have liked to hear Sally actually say Heero's name, but he wasn't going to force her too, she had a lot to contend with. He fully believed with time things would begin to mend. "Lost quite a bit of blood, but that's all been taken care of. The problem we have to deal with now is how this has mentally affected him." Wufei saw clearly in his mind how Heero had been the night before, that fear in his eyes, "He doesn't want us to be around him anymore."

She nodded walking slowly deeper into the room, "And you?" she asked arms folding across her chest, eyes looking him over again more closely as though they might actually be able to see through the cloths he wore.

"What all did Une tell you?" he asked back, not comfortable with how quickly this had come up and just how calm Sally was about it.

"Une said Luc came at you with a knife, but you failed to mention where he actually got you…" she was studying him even harder now, it was a gaze Wufei had never liked being under. He always felt exposed, no matter how much was between her eyes and what he was trying to hide. "If I had to venture a guess, I'd say it was your left arm…rather convenient of him not to go for your dominant side wouldn't you say?"

Wufei folded his arms coolly, grateful for the moment that he had taken John's painkillers, and leaned himself against a wall. "Isn't it the smarter move to protect your stronger side?"

"Fair enough," Sally agreed with a quick nod of her head. "Now let me see it," there was a sudden change in her demeanour, her expression becoming more serious, her stance preparing for a fight. Though Wufei hated to disappoint, there were other things he needed to focus on today, so he couldn't spend a great deal of time dancing around this subject. Slowly he began to unbutton his shirt slipping the white material from his left arm but leaving it on his right. Sally stepped up to him slowly working away the gauze John had wrapped about the wound last night. Wufei could feel Sally's grip on his forearm begin to tighten as she caught her first glimpse of the actual wound.

She halted in her work to level a hard glare at him, Wufei wasn't entirely sure why Sally took it as a personal insult every time they got injured in the line of duty. "I think you probably could have convinced them while doing less damage…" she told him dryly.

Wufei just shrugged his good shoulder, "A little late for that now don't you think?" she shot him a warning look as she began to rebind it. When she had finished releasing his arm back to him, Wufei slipped it back into his sleeve his hands already working at the buttons. He could feel Sally's eyes on him the entire time, and he briefly glanced up to look her in the eye before continuing, when she suddenly took hold of his jaw. "Wha--" Wufei jerked his head to get out of her grasp.

"Did you take something for the pain?" she demanded suddenly sounding shocked as she continued to peer into his onyx eyes.

Running a hand over his smooth hair Wufei looked away, stepping back to put a little distance between them, "It wasn't really my choice." He admitted reluctantly, the last thing he wanted was for Sally and John to tag team them, which he could easily see her doing, if the situation wasn't so stressed.

She just nodded there was no real question about what Wufei meant by that, "Does Relena know?" Sally changed the subject suddenly.

"Only that Luc threatened Heero's life and we had to kill him…"Wufei looked away, "I thought it was best that she not know about the torture."

"You think you'll be able to hide it from her forever?" she didn't sound very convinced.

"No one's going to tell her, and the footage has been coded away, she won't find it," that's the way Wufei wanted it to stay, he felt pretty sure Relena would have an easier time around Heero if she didn't know. If she wasn't trying to tiptoe around something that Heero didn't even want to think about right now.

"Have you considered what her reaction might be when she does find out?" Sally asked lowering herself down into one of her plush chairs.

Wufei was no fool, he had considered that, and he knew if ever it did happen it would not be a pretty sight. Still it was better than the alternative, he would hopefully be ready to cross that bridge when and if it came. "I'll deal with it if she does," he told Sally finally.

"Fair enough," she said with a shrug, and that seemed to be the end of their conversation. This wasn't the Sally he knew and respected, her fire seemed to have left her. As Wufei walked from her apartment, he could only hope that one day it would return to her.

Wufei walked the short distance down the hall to Heero's room, but hesitated outside his friends door. He wondered what he would encounter if Heero was awake, the thought was not really an appealing one. The look on Heero's face was still so clear in his mind, that Wufei opted instead to go to the observation room first and see if Heero was awake. Striding inside the Chinese man dropped himself down in front of the monitors, eyes scanning over the readings before settling on the video image of the room. At first glance it appeared as though Heero were indeed still asleep, but Wufei was aware of just how well Heero could fake it.

WMWMWMW

Heero's eyes opened slowly, feeling dry and heavy more so than they should have had he just been simply asleep. His tried mind attempted to remember what had happened that would leave him drugged. The memories didn't take much effort to remember, it was the forgetting that was the trick, and Heero wished he could. Even now he could feel Luc's weight on him holding him in place despite the fact that he couldn't move. His own hand cutting his flesh, it was all burned deeply into his mind, along with the raw emotions he had felt at the time. Heero forced his eyes to remain open, to close them now was to be greeted with the very image he was trying to forget.

The Japanese man found his eyes straying to the door continuously, a spark of fear igniting within him, at the truth that had been driven home all to clearly the day before. He had no control over who came through that door, he had no control over anything. Heero had never been a man to give up without a fight, but at this very moment death was truly beginning to look like the better option. Not just for the reasons he had given to John the night before, but also his anger and frustration was being directed at his friends, he had nowhere else to turn it, and that wasn't fair to them.

Heero growled, his eyes still watching the door, he didn't look forward to whoever would be first in his room this morning. He suspected it would be Wufei, it didn't matter, he didn't want to deal with any of them. Not if their only reason for being there was a sense of obligation, he wanted them there as his friends, not necessarily to support him, but to be back where they had once been. Duo had made it clear the night before thatthey were still along way from that point, and if this situation stayed as it was, nothing was going to get any better.

The click of the door opening shook Heero from his thoughts and his eyes flew open, his entire body tensing as much as it could. Only friends would come though that door now, it didn't matter how many times Heero told himself this, panic gripped him. Wufei stepped though the door as Heero had suspected it would be, his expression was a hard one to read, but Heero thought he saw an apologetic light in his eyes. Heero buried the panic beneath a layer of anger, it was the only place he could hide it, and the only emotion strong enough to do so.

The silence between them was awkward to say the very least, but Heero was not about to break it himself, he'd much prefer to be left alone. "How are you feeling?" it seemed to Heero that that was not what Wufei had wanted to say, he wondered briefly what else could there be.

"Fine," he said flatly it was a blatant lie, but he didn't care, he just didn't want to deal with anything right now.

Wufei nodded accepting that answer at least for the moment, "I thought you'd like to know Relena should be by in an hour or so…"

Heero's mind all but stopped at that, he had not even let himself really think about her since the incident last night. The look in Duo's eyes had been hard enough to endure, Heero didn't even want to consider how Relena might appear when she walked through that door. "She doesn't know…" Wufei's smooth voice broke the silence, and Heero looked to him sharply. "I thought it would be easier if she didn't know," he shrugged his right shoulder and turned towards the door, "I just thought you'd like to know." That appearing to be the point of his coming in Wufei turned to the door and left without looking back.

_She doesn't know…_ Heero turned that thought over in his head a few times, wondering just how much it would help him. Could he, knowing what had happened, knowingthat he could not put a stop to it, face her? Within an hour there would be no other choice, Relena would be there sitting quietly beside him. In the silence and stillness of the room Heero felt the still powerful effects of the sedative John had given him wash over his mind. He was reluctant to close his eyes, not wanting to see his nightmare so vividly before him. But despite his best efforts to remain awake sleep in the end claimed his tired mind once again.

WMWMWMW

Relena waited as the door slid aside, speaking Heero's name the moment her eyes fell upon him. He had at first glance appeared to be sleeping, but at the sound of her voice he jerked awake, eyes flying wide, body tensing. Relena jumped herself at his reaction, she had come in on him asleep before, and the only reaction she had ever received had been his eyes slowly opening to consider her. So why then this sudden change? Perhaps a nightmare? From the threshold of the door it was difficult to see clearly what was in Heero's eyes, but Relena thought he might not be fully awake. "Sorry to wake you…" she breathed softly stepping into the room.

"What are you doing here?" he asked voice sounding unusually sharp to Relena's ears.

She hesitated at that, feeling as though she shouldn't be there at that moment, "Didn't Wufei tell you I was coming?" Relena walked a little closer eyes studying his face intently, he blinked several times still looking sleepy, confirming her earlier suspicions. Unconsciously Relena reached a hand up to tuck her already controlled hair behind one ear, "If you like I can leave and let you sleep…" she really didn't want to.

Heero drew in a shallow breath, "No, that's alright," he shifted a little on the mattress, the expression on his face flickering briefly. Relena thought it might have been pain, but it didn't look quite right, still it was gone before she could say for sure.

Relena made her way to the far side of Heero's bed sitting herself down in the chair, "Are you in a lot of pain right now?" She wanted to reach out and touch him, but everywhere she looked there were bandages, and even more where she couldn't see.

"I'm alright," he responded turning his head to regard her, he kept his eyes half closed.

That seemed odd to Relena and for a moment she couldn't say why, until she really looked at him. What she could see of his eyes did not look tired, and if made her wonder if he were trying to hide them from her. "You would tell me if you weren't,right?" it was always a concern to her when Heero said he was fine, it wasn't something she could bring herself to believe.

"Don't worry about it," Heero said to brush the matter aside.

"I'm sorry…" Relena breathed with a sad smile, looking down to her clasped hands, "I can't help it." She was always thinking about him, worrying about him, it made focusing on the meetings and lunches that she needed to attend difficult. Her thoughts just continually strayed to him, several people had made comment on her distracted nature of late, but she had managed to dissuade concern easily enough.

"No meetings today?" Heero's voice broke through her thoughts.

"I have a couple later today," she hoped spending time talking with Heero might allow her to devote more of her attention to the delegates who 'needed' her. "I've been trying to back out of the political sphere. There has to come a time when the earth and colonies can take care of themselves…" Relena blushed suddenly looking up into Heero's eyes where he watched her in silence, "Sorry…I must sound like I'm making a speech…"

Heero shook his head a little, "No I'm used to it," he assured her, stirring memories with in Relena she had kept tucked away for a long time.

She had often bounced ideas off Heero while preparing a speech, and many a time read out her addresses to him, if only to have gone through it once. He had at times given suggestions, but that had never really been her reason for reading them to him. Relena felt like she gained courage from Heero, and after performing her speech before him, it became easier to do it for others. "I must have bored you to tears," she chuckled softly wishing it didn'tsound quite so forced.

"I like the sound of your voice," the former pilot said softly, causing a renewed blush to rise within her cheeks.

Silence settled over the room, as Relena felt unsure how to answer, she could remember clearly what she would have done, had Heero said such a thing three years ago. But with everything so different now, Relena didn't think it felt right, no matter how much she wanted everything as it had been. Her eyes studied Heero for several long moments, remembering how he had jumped when she entered the room, curious once again, and feeling a little more confident in herself Relena asked, "Were you having a nightmare when I woke you?"

"Why do you ask?" Heero raised an eyebrow at that, it crinkled his forehead making the still healing cut near his hairline more prominent.

Relena's hands clasped, flexing against each other, she wished she could just sit still when talking with him. "I've never seen you jump like that," she began trying to keep the worry from her voice. "And even now there's something about your eyes…" Relena was still unable to put her finger on what was bothering her about his eyes, it was a light deep within them barely flickering, but she couldn't tell what exactly it was.

"I'm alright," he said again, the words sounding somewhat stressed, as though he wanted the matter left, like she had hit too close to home.

"So you were…" Relena found her voice teasing, she didn't know where the courage came from, but she was glad for a moment of normalcy.

Heero too seemed to relax a fraction, as a ghost of a smile touch his lips, "I didn't say that."

"I know, and you never would so I've decided to start filling in the blanks," she smiled, but the moment faded quickly. Relena knew in her heart—the one place that would never allow her to forget for long—that she had no right to be so light with him. At least not yet, what she had just briefly experienced as something she was going to have to work at for a long time, it was something to be earned again. Relena felt the mood of the room suddenly descend within her, here she was making jokes, when Heero's life had been threatened because of her. She had been trying to avoid the thought of Luc, but it was no use, he had come to mind, and with him the guilt.

"Heero…" he looked over to her, Relena caught the movement through the corner of her eyes, as she had not raised her head to look at him. "…I…wanted to apologise for last night," she forced herself to look up then, reaching out to grip Heero's hand, "I feel it's my fault--" Heero jerked suddenly when her grip upon his hand tightened. Relena instantly released him, "I'm sorry did I hurt you?"

Heero turned his head away suddenly eyes closing further but not all the way, and a tremor ran through his thin frame. "Heero what is it?" She was greatly worried now, wanting to know what had caused the sudden change, should she call for Wufei?

The former pilot slowly turned his head towards her, appearing to have gathered himself somewhat. "It's nothing, I'm alright."

"That's not true," Relena contended suddenly, "If I hurt you I want to know," she never wanted to cause him pain.

"Don't worry so much!" Heero growled eyes turning away again.

A spark formed within Relena at that statement, and slowly it was fanned to life, causing her to speak without truly thinking, "Don't you understand!" it was obvious to her way of thinking that he didn't. "I can't help it, we can't help it," she knew the others felt as she did, "We spent three years hating you, completely misunderstanding you. You can't expect us to not care more, now!"

What Relena could see of Heero's eyes in that moment changed drastically, it was as if a switch had suddenly been hit, he was closing himself off from her. "What's wrong?" she asked worry dripping from her voice. She didn't like how quickly everything had changed, it felt to Relena as though every fortification Heero possessed was dropping into place blocking out the world around him. "Don't shut down on me," she pleaded to no avail. Desperation drove her actions, as she stood from her seat and leaned over Heero's prone form, pressing her lips to his in a quick kiss.

It was a contact she had dreamed of, longed for, and wished to lose herself in. But she didn't deserve to, and it was that unwanted truth that drew her back from Heero with tears standing out in her eyes, "I want to be back where we were, back there…" despite everything the guilt and pain between them, that kiss had felt so go…so right.

Heero's eyes were wide with surprise now, having been caught completely off guard by that kiss. Relena was relieved to see that he didn't look angry about it, "You sacrificed so much Heero…" Relena said cautiously touching his hand with one finger, "Don't you think you deserve a little happiness?" Whether she would ever be able to make it up to him, and be worthy of that happiness also Relena didn't know, nor did she really want to think about it.

The injured man's eyes looked away from Relena lids lowering over them protectively once more, and she began to fear it had all been for nothing, that she had not got through to him. "You know you can talk to me Heero, you always could if you just tired," sure they had talked, many times together, but never about any problem Heero might had been having. It had left Relena feeling as though there had been a void in their relationship, never was she given the chance to try and fix something for him. "Tell me what's bothering you…" she lowered herself back into the chair, her hands resting on the bed near to Heero's though still only one finger touched him.

Silence was her answer for many minutes, but Relena remained quietly attentive holding out a thin shred of hope that Heero would speak. "…I don't want any one in here out of obligation," he finally spoke, very firmly, "I want you here as my friends."

"I've never felt any obligation to be here," Relena assured leaning a little closer to Heero without thought, "I want to be here with you."

"To make up for the last three years?" Heero asked, his head dropping to the side again.

Relena jerked back as though burned, her thoughts trying to process what he said and make sense of it in a way that would not further offend him. Still not matter how she looked at it there was no way to separate her want to be with him, and her feelings of needing to make up for the last three years. "That's not fair…" she breathed softly, "How can we separate those?" Relena could feel tears standing out on the edges of her eyes, but they were more of frustration than sadness. "You know I'm not here because I feel obligated to be with you. But at the same time, do I not feel I have nothing to make up for? No!" She watched his eyes closely trying to read what he was feeling, and thinking but it was impossible.

Heero sighed, rather suddenly looking tired, more so than he had moments before, his head turned away eyes looking towards the simple ceiling. Relena carefully took hold of Heero's hand in her own holding it lightly afraid she might hurt him again. "I'm sorry that the two can't be mutually exclusive…" she didn't know what else to say, Relena hated the direction there conversation had turned. It left her feeling out of control, that no matter what she did now it would only hurt Heero. Yetshe tried to see this from his point of view, to understand what it must feel like to him. It was not an easy thing for her to do, admittedly she was nowhere near as strong as Heero had been, nor as independent.

"Don't worry about it…" he said slowly, his voice sounding as tired as he looked.

Relena hated the thought of leaving their conversation off on this down note, for a moment she had felt like they might actually be making progress in the right direction. These last few minutes seemed to have brought everything back to where it had been, and there was nothing she could do about it now. If Heero needed to rest that had to take priority over everything else. She sighed very softly, unable to hold it back but not wanting it to be heard, "You look tired Heero…you should sleep." He glanced to her briefly one last time nodding his head and letting his eyes fall closed.

Thanks for Reading!

**A Gift of Strength**:

Trowa stood at the foot of his bed head down, eyes hidden behind his auburn hair, Heero raised his head from the pillow, trying to better see what Trowa was looking at. The movement as subtle as it had been, was enough to alert Trowa's observant senses and his head came up slowly. His emerald eye was unreadable in the shadows of the room, and he said nothing just watched body ridged against the wall. Heero's focus turned away from the silent man's eyes to the rest of him, noting and object held within Trowa's hands. It had a metallic glint to it, but Heero couldn't see much beyond that. He could feel a finger of panic reach up from somewhere deep within him to tug at his heart, but he forced it aside, he would not fear a friend, he would not fear anything!

For a long time they remained that way watching each other in an uncomfortable silence, neither appearing to know what to say. Heero couldn't say he felt particularly like dealing with anyone at the moment, still he had not seen Trowa since this whole mess had been sorted out. He was glad to see another of his friends again, no matter how hard this first meeting could or would be. Trowa's eyes, concealing what he was actually thinking and feeling didn't remain on any one part of Heero for that long. For Trowa this was the equivalent of someone fidgeting nervously. Heero had always known his friend to have a steady gaze, one that you could not stare or glare down, Trowa was the silent observer, never one to rush to judgment.

Heero's eyes flickered briefly to the door, hoping John would not come walking in at any moment, he felt very strongly that they couldn't be interrupted. A barely audible sigh escaped Trowa as he finally seemed to come to a decision within himself as he pushed his long form off the wall and took a slow step towards the foot of Heero's bed. The item he carried in his hands became clearer to Heero then, and he immediately recognised it as a hand gun. The brief panic from before didn't return now that he knew what it was, he was not afraid of Trowa. The silence continued to stretch on but Heero thought the other man was going to speak, so he was willing to wait him out.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	35. A Gift of Strength

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Here we are again! Anime North was great! And I couldn't possible have been happier with all of your reactions to the last to chapters! You guys make me so happy! THANK YOU ALL!

**Thanks to morgansgirl and Pious Knight! Without them, this story wouldn't be readable (smiles)**

**Sakura Blossom-Cilla-85**: Thank you! (laughs) Heero feels the same way you do believe me, but slowly they will come around, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Allura01**: (laughs) yeah Heero's never really been one to take sympathy well, but there are times where it just can't be avoided (smiles) Thank you so much for your review!

**Baka-san517**: Thank you! It's nice to tie up loose ends, I'm really glad you enjoyed the double chapter I can promise you that won't be the last one. I hope you enjoy this chapter too.

**Starcat1**: Thanks for reviewing! As for Trowa with the gun (smiles) you'll just have to read the chapter I hope you enjoy it!

**D3**: Thank you! I hope this chapter didn't take to long. I'm really glad you saw the Heero Relena moment for what it really was…just like the beginning of the show (laughs) I never really saw it that way until I read your review. But at least it's a start for them and things are going to get better. Thanks again! I hope you enjoy this chapter.

**miroku****-has-darkness**: Thank you so much! And welcome to Gundam Wing Fics I'm really glad you're enjoying this story I hope this chapter didn't take too long.

**SignalAutoS13**: Thank you very much! I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last.

**Raizard333**: You really wanted Luc to remain alive? I think you might be the only one besides one reader preferring he live out his life in jail. But that just causes too many risk with Luc knowing Heero's alive. Thanks so much! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Squall-l-l**: Thank you! I hope you enjoy it!

**ghostreader**: Thank you very much! Glad you liked the Heero and Relena moment, it was a hard one to write…came to me while I was at work if I remember correctly (laughs) a lot of problem conversations come to me then. I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks again!

**Capricorn89**: Wow! It still amazes me when I hear people spending all night reading Mistaken Words (smiles) can't tell you how happy it makes me! Thank you for the review! And for all your compliments! I have been taking my time with this, almost two full years in the making before I began posting. It's so wonderful to know that this story has become so well liked. I hope you continue to enjoy this story, and thank you again!

**Kalorna**** Enera**: Thank you so very much! Your wait is over! All you have to do is read the chapter and you'll know exactly what Trowa will do! I hope you like it! Thanks again!

**Disclaimer**: I still don't own Gundam Wing.

**A Gift of Strength**

John stepped across the threshold entering the monitoring room where Wufei sat with hiseyes on a computer screen. The Chinese man looked up at the doctor's approach, his expression unreadable as he rose to greet John. "How's he been?" he asked, turning his attention to Heero's vitals being displayed on a few of the screens.

"I've tried to give him as much space as possible today," Wufei said, stroking his chin absentmindedly. "Relena came to see him earlier today…not sure if that helped him at all…"

"Does she know what happened?" John asked suddenly straightening and turning his full attention to Wufei.

The former pilot shook his head, "Not exactly, she knows Luc threatened him, but not that he was tortured."

"That's probably for the best…" John mused, even now he felt a gnawing ache at the core of his being born from thoughts of the torture Heero had suffered through. John forced the thoughts aside, "Has he had anything to eat?"

"Yeah a little, I didn't really want to press him…" Wufei answered putting his hands into his pockets.

John nodded, "I'll go and give him something now," he stepped away from the table, and moved to a small refrigeratoragainst the far wall where small portions of Heero's food were stored. "How's your arm?" John asked, as he removed one of the containers and popped in into the microwave that rested above. He had almost forgotten that event of the night before. to look at Wufei now you'd be hard pressed to say where he had been injured, he moved just as easily as a man completely sound.

"It's fine," he answered quickly, and John had to smile privately to himself, remembering the challenge it had been to get Wufei to take the mediation the night before. Silently he wondered if Heero would become more difficult as he got better. If so, John welcomed the challenge.

Taking the now-warm container form the microwave John turned to Wufei with a smile, "You should get some sleep," he straightened and made his way back towards the door.

"One more thing, John," Wufei said to John's back, causing him to turn about, "Make sure he knows you're coming in." Wufei's expression at that moment was particularly hard for the doctor to read. He looked somewhat unsure, but to what it was related John couldn't say. "He's been really jumpy since last night." He didn't look pleased about that. Perhaps—John thought—Wufei was unsure of what all this meant, of how to handle Heero as he was presently. John couldn't blame him, it wasn't easy for any of them.

John was not in the least bit surprised to hear that Heero was having further reactions to Luc's torture, beyond his extreme anger the night before. He found himself feeling overwhelmed for a few brief seconds as he tried to consider all that he might now be dealing with. He didn't know where to begin. John had never been trained to handle a patient who had been tortured, mentally speaking there was just so much he didn't understand, so he didn't know what to expect. It took a great deal of effort, but John managed to force those thoughts aside, at present there was nothing he could do beyond taking this one day at a time and strengthen the trust Heero already had. "I'll keep that in mind," he said finally, continuing on to the door.

Walking the short distance to Heero's room, John reached out a hand to knock sharply upon the surface of the door. He worried if the sudden noise might not be as bad as someone walking in unannounced, but he couldn't think of anything better at the moment. Swiping his card John walked across the threshold to be met with a dark look form Heero it softened a little when the boy's eyes focused on John's face, but that wasn't saying very much. John left the container of food on the counter and crossed over to Heero's bedside. "How's the pain?" it was a pointless question.

"Fine," John silently spoke the very same word Heero said in a dead voice. He had never heard any different from the boy, and doubted he ever would. That didn't worry him though, he could read Heero, perhaps not his thoughts or feelings, but the boy couldn't hide his pain, just as he couldn't fake sleep. John had fathered many children, they had all tried similar things with the same results, although he had to admit Heero was far better than his children had ever dreamed of being.

John looked the boy over, he had carefully checked all his injuries the night before to make sure Luc hadn't aggravated or reopened any of them, especially the one on his pelvis, where John had been told Luc was sitting. Some of the stitches on that one had unfortunately been pulled, they had been taken care of though, and could be left to heal once more. The stitches had been in for double the time usually necessary in most patients, but Heero's body just didn't have anything to offer twenty days back. Now, however, was a different story. They had Heero eating more, and he was managing to keep all of it down. He still slept mostly, but when he was awake he was more alert than he had been.

He was inclined to give them a few more days before he would be comfortable taking them out. John wondered if that event might brighten Heero's mood some, he was aware that Heero's anger and frustration had been building rather quietly over the past few weeks, but had only come to light after Luc came. Now a lot of those strong emotions were linked to the torture, but John didn't doubt, a good deal was still fuelled by his lack of progress, or at least lack of visual progress. John blinked suddenly giving his head a brief shake, he couldn't just stand there lost in his own thoughts. If Heero was wondering at the long silence, he gave no outward sign of it, his eyes were focused on the far wall, most likely watching the clock, as he had a habit of doing.

Taking hold of the container of still-warm food, John reached for the controls to Heero's bed, and raised it up so the boy was in a half sitting position. John didn't like this uncomfortable silence, but couldn't think of something that felt right to say. Heero's eyes turned to regard John then and the doctor could see a smouldering anger there, but it wasn't directed at him, not entirely at least. "Why are _you_ here?" the boy asked suddenly voice monotone, though there was an odd stress on 'you'.

John looked down at the boy, considering the question for a long time, it seemed to John as though Heero were driven by something to ask that question, but he didn't know what. So he tired to think of how best to answer it, not knowing exactly what Heero was looking for. Did he want the exact reason for this visit, which was of course to check on his condition, and give him something to eat, or did he want something less obvious? Finally John decided on an answer he thought would cover both, "Because I care, and you need to eat."

Heero stared at him pointedly, making it clear in his own silent way, that that was not the answer he had been looking for. At the same time his eyes turned away as though he was content to just let the matter drop there. John pulled the plastic spoon from its place in the lid, as he put it on the table, he had no intention of letting that odd bit of conversation be the end of it, he wanted to know what Heero was thinking, what had prompted it. John gave himself a little time to organise his thoughts as he stirred Heero's food around. The boy had made it past the broth to something more substantial, John wasn't all that fussy on the look of it, kind of like runny oatmeal. Heero seemed to like it well enough, which wasn't saying very much.

"Why did you want to know?" he asked giving Heero the first spoonful, and watched as the boy's eyes remain turned away from John's face. He wasn't surprised by Heero's silence, nor was he deterred, "My wife worries about me," he began as he continued to feed the boy, finding the act more comfortable if he was talking, for some reason. "She's always reminding me not to get emotionally involved," John smiled to himself, "It's never been a problem for me before, sure there are times when you can't help but feel likea failure, but I've always managed to keep myself mostly separate." Heero was watching John now through the corner of one eye, "It wasn't like that with you, I was emotionally involved the moment I walked through that door."

Heero's head finally turned towards John, "Why?" he asked after swallowing a mouthful of the food.

John blinked looking down at the boy, that was not a hard question to answer, "Because you needed help." Every patient John had ever treated had needed help, so that answer might not have sounded like much, but for Heero it had been different. He had been in a hard situation, one he would not have survived without proper help.

"But why believe me?" Heero asked, after a moment's thought, his eyes impossible for John to read as they watched him, waiting for an answer.

"Your eyes didn't lie," he told him quickly, they might be hard to read now, but when Heero had been explaining himself John could see right to their depth, and knew the truth.

A sceptical light entered Heero's eyes then, but it looked unsure as though the boy didn't know what to think, "I lied for three years."

He was searching for something, that much had become clear to John, but he wasn't sure what the boy really wanted to know. "What does this matter now?" he asked gently putting the container aside as Heero had eaten it all, which pleased John greatly.He didn't particularly like fighting with the boy over it, but did and would when necessary.

Heero's eyes looked away from John's then, "It doesn't," it sounded like the was shrugging the conversation off.

"I don't believe that," John countered remaining where he was seated on the edge of Heero's bed. "You wanted to know, I'm just not sure I understand what you want to know…" he left it open hoping Heero would clarify what he was looking for.

Silence was Heero's answer for several long minutes, but John was content to wait the boy out, "…Maybe I don't either…" he responded finally, eyes half closed and still watching the clock on the far wall.

John let the silence stretch on, as he tried to think of what else to say. He half believed what Heero said, he was pretty sure the boy knew what he wanted to know; what he didn't knowwas how to phrase or even ask his questions. So what could have sparked this sudden interest? Uncomfortable with just sitting there staring at the boy John reaching out for Heero's right wrist, and proceeded to check his pulse. His mind turned over what he knew of today, trying to think if something had happened to trigger this. Wufei had been giving Heero his space, but Relena had been here. John slowly lowered the boy's wrist back onto the covers and looked more closely at Heero's face. "I know Relena was here to see you, might this have something to so with that?" he asked gently.

Heero could not hide his slight flinch at the question, but that was the only reaction he gave, "Forget about it," the words were spoken tiredly but there was a distinct strength to them, almost a warning. John knew now that he had hit on something, and he wasn't about to back down.

"Why?" he demanded managing to find a balance between stern and understanding, "It's clear something's bothering you enough that you're asking me." That fact had not been lost on him at any moment, and as with some many other times John felt truly honoured to be trusted by this boy, "I'm just trying to find out what it is."

A sigh escaped the boy, and John found himself holding out hope that Heero would find the words he had been missing earlier, and better explain what he needed to know. "Doesn't matter," was the response John's patience gained him. Heero hadn't looked at him at all, and didn't appear to be interested in the conversation any more.

John was half surprised by the spark of anger that answer ignited in him, "So that's it then?" there was more heat to his words now. "You'll just ignore it? Pretend like there's nothing wrong?"

"Why do you care!" Heero's eyes turned back to John his voice was harsh, but John hardly heard it, all he could notice was that unsure light had re-entered Heero's eyes.

John smiled down at the boy, "Because that's what humans do." It felt odd to say such a thing, it felt as though he were explaining natural behaviour to Heero, as though he didn't know how to be human. But perhaps he didn't, as far as his file read, Heero had been raised a solider, emotions, second guessing trained out of him. He tried to imagine what it must be like to not know what you really were, to not understand how to react to emotion within you, John actually found it to be a rather scary thought.

Heero's eyes had widened a little at John's strong statement, but they quickly fell almost closed. John could tell the boy was tired, and he lowered a hand to Heero's shoulder, "Get some sleep," he bade getting slowly too his feet. "I'm just going to take a blood sample alright?" Heero's eyes were entirely closed now, but he nodded his head in response to John question, and the old doctor quickly gathered what he'd need.

He knew it wouldn't take him long to do, taking blood was something John was required to do so often he would have been comfortable doing it in his sleep. Heero was no stranger to it either, having had to put up with countless needles either taking blood from him, or putting something back in. So it came a quite a shock to John when the boy jumped at his touch trying to pull his arm away. John had taken a gentle hold of Heero's arm so he could prepare it, but the moment he had taken a firmer hold to pull the limb away from Heero's body, the boy had reacted violently. Heero's eyes flew wide and he pulled at his arm, as much as his muscles would respond to him. Caught off guard John immediately let go, afraid he had hurt the boy, "Heero what's the matter? Did I hurt you?" he asked very concerned, looking the boy over he couldn't see anything that he might have hurt.

The boy didn't respond to him, panic vanished from his eyes in a heartbeat, and he closed them once again. He was pretending nothing happened, John stood there motionless staring down at the boy. Heero had never reacted this way before and the old doctor knew immediately that this was yet another by-product of Luc's torture. John gave Heero a few moments, watching as his breathing evened out, and outwardly he appeared to have relaxed. "Heero, is it alright if I try that again?" he broke the silence finally wary of touching the boy, for fear of another reaction.

"Yeah…" Heero breathed shallowly.

Not entirely sure what had set Heero off, John approached him carefully and only took a light hold of the boy's arm, which he could immediately feel was tense. John completed his work in record time and settled the blankets over Heero's thin frame before he made his way towards the door. He wanted to research post traumatic stress disorder, and see what he might be able to discover that would help Heero. Whether the boy would accept said help was another matter to be dealt with at another time. All John knew, was that he could not ignore this as Heero was so willing to do, it would only end up getting worse for him anytime someone was around him.

John let a long held sigh escape him once he was standing safely out in the hall, this was the last thing any of them had needed. Everyone was already walking on eggshells around Heero, and now to be worried about setting him off, it was not going to make the others coming to him easier. Then again, John remembered Duo helping him the night before, it's true Heero wasn't awake for that, and therefore there had not been as much tension. But Duo had been adamant and very determined, he was not going to let anything else happen to Heero, he would be there for his friend no matter how hard those first steps would be.

WMWMWMW

Heero jerked awaked violently. He didn't realise when he had climbed from the darkness of sleep to the grey void of being half awake, but the moment he made it there Heero knew he wasn't alone. A wave of panic overpowered his senses in the first few seconds, and he found it incredibly difficult to keep his breathing natural. Someone was standing in his room. At first that was all Heero could think about. He forced the panic aside, letting anger replace it. He could work with that emotion, and better analyse who was watching him. In the seconds that passed Heero realised the one watching him was someone with whom he was very familiar, not a threat. That knowledge, however, did not relax him, his anger turned to a fiery frustration at his situation. Taking a moment Heero tried to bring his irritation under control before he made the effort to open his eyes, and look into the face of a friend he hadn't yet seen.

Trowa stood at the foot of his bed head down, eyes hidden behind his auburn hair. Heero raised his head from the pillow behind his head, trying to better see what Trowa was looking at. The movement, as subtle as it had been, was enough to alert Trowa's observant senses and his head came up slowly. His emerald eye was unreadable in the shadows of the room and he said nothing, just watched with hisbody ridged against the wall. Heero's focus turned away from the silent man's eyes to the rest of him, noting an object held within Trowa's hands. It had a metallic glint to it, but Heero couldn't see much beyond that. He could feel a finger of panic reach up from somewhere deep within him to tug at his heart, but he forced it aside, he would not fear a friend, he would not fear anything!

For a long time they remained that way watching each other in an uncomfortable silence, neither appearing to know what to say. Heero couldn't say he felt particularly like dealing with anyone at the moment, still he had not seen Trowa since this whole mess had been sorted out. He was glad to see another of his friends again, no matter how hard this first meeting could or would be. Trowa's eyes, concealing what he was actually thinking and feeling didn't remain on any one part of Heero for that long. For Trowa this was the equivalent of someone fidgeting nervously. Heero had always known his friend to have a steady gaze, one that you could not stare or glare down Trowa was the silent observer, never one to rush to judgment.

Heero's eyes flickered briefly to the door, hoping John would not come walking in at any moment. He felt very strongly that they shouldn't be interrupted. A barely audible sigh escaped Trowa as he finally seemed to come to a decision within himself as he pushed his long form off the wall and took a slow step towards the foot of Heero's bed. The item he carried in his hands became clearer to Heero then, and he immediately recognised it as a handgun. The brief panic from before didn't return now that he knew what it was, he was not afraid of Trowa. The silence continued to stretch on but Heero thought the other man was going to speak, so he was willing to wait him out.

In one fluid motion Trowa chambered a bullet and presented the gun to Heero grip first, the mask like expression of his face finally sliding away. What Heero saw now, he didn't quite know how to describe, it was remorseful and self hating, but there was something else, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. "I betrayed you…" Trowa said finally, eyes looking at the gun and not Heero. The Japanese man opened his mouth to object, but Trowa wasn't done "There was no excuse for it, you ask for my trust and I should have given it, as you trusted me during the war. I'm not worthy to call you friend," his voice was utterly devoid, yet still managed to sound resigned as though this was a decision he had come to over time. His eyes fixed on Heero's face then, and he stepped closer pushing the gun to within Heero's reach, his unspoken request clearly showing in his eyes.

Heero's eyes widened at that, as he stared at the weapon being handed to him, what had Trowa done that left him believing this was the only way out? Heero tried to remember but his mind was foggy and not just from sleep, it had been difficult for Heero to clearly remember the events of the time before he had been accepted back by his friends. Perhaps in some sense that was a good thing, however if he wanted to convince Trowa otherwise, he'd need to know what to say. The memory came floating back to him slowly like a ship appearing out of the grey dawn, and Trowa's words stung just as much now as they had then. Heero's hand reached for the gun, he had to focus all his efforts into moving his arm away from the bed, but shakily he managed to do it. An unexpected sigh of relief escaped Heero's lips when his trembling hand finally closed about the pistol-grip.

It felt heavier than he remembered it being, but the feel was still so familiar, and it brought him a sense of relief, of control. It was a gift of power, he was no longer helpless needing to rely on those around him. Once Heero had the gun securely Trowa moved back to his position at the foot of the bed, his face yet again showing nothing. Heero's eyes studied the gun, looking over every detail despite the fact he had seen them a thousand times before. This was what he had been waiting for, Heero felt a certain calm wash over him, as the silent minutes continued to tick past and the weight and reassurance of the gun slowly drained some of his anger away. Finally his eyes looked to Trowa, who remained waiting, eyes not looking to Heero's face. A ghost of a smile touched his features briefly, Trowa had come here seeking punishment, but he didn't realise what his gesture had truly meant to Heero.

"I made you believe that," Heero spoke into the harsh silence between them. He had said similar to everyone who had come to him so far, and it was true, he had made them believe he was a traitor. This should have all come back on him, but he could understand why it couldn't.

Trowa shook his head, as though that didn't matter to him at all, "I've thought about this for a long time…" he breathed slowly, his gaze moving up from the floor, but seeming unable to look Heero in the face. "There's just no excuse," there was a note of finality to his voice, as he stood planted waiting for the bullet to pierce him.

The gun lowered to rest at Heero's side, not just because the weight was too much for his tired arm to bear. He wasn't going to shoot Trowa, it was out of the question, but how could he change this around, prove to Trowa there was another way, that this wasn't the end. Heero's cobalt eyes watched Trowa closely, "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…" he spoke slowly, the quote coming to him from a deep corner of his mind, "It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival." Heero remembered the first time he had heard that, Ash had said it two him several years back, when he had first begun to press himself into Heero's life.

"C.S. Lewis…" Trowa breathed after a moment, emerald orbs daring to look at Heero's face. The Japanese man wasn't surprised that he knew the quote. Trowa had always been a reader, moreso after the war; Heero could remember seeing his friend with a book in hand almost all the time that he was not on duty guarding Relena.

"To be mad at someone-that's easy," Heero spoke again, feeling like he might be gaining a little ground this way. "To be mad at the right person, for the right reason, at the right time and to the right degree-that is not easy," he was unsure where and at what time he had picked that quote up, but it fit with the moment, which in the end was all that mattered.

A tiny smirk touched Trowa's face then, "Aristotle said that."

Heero let his own smirk show on his face, "Thanks for the gift," he said resting a hand upon the gun, still feeling that strong measure of relief.

Trowa stepped slowly around the bed, Heero would have almost called it hesitantly, and lowered himself into the chair close to the head of the bed. Once more the silence had returned, as Heero tried to slip the gun beneath the concealing blankets, he didn't want to make it known that he had such a weapon, not that he thought he'd be able to hide it for long. Reaching over with his newly freed left hand, Heero fumbled with it, finding his shaking limbs more than a little frustrating. Trowa reached out as though he intended to help, but his hand took hold of Heero's and he studied it, "What happened here?"

The former pilot looked to his palm, seeing the new scar that lined both the palm and back of his hand, from where Luc had stabbed him with a knife. "Luc," was all he said for an answer, John had come in earlier in the night to remove some of the stitches, his leg, pelvis and hand were now freed, along with his right arm. But the ones put in after Luc's attack would be there for sometime yet. Still it was a step in the right direction, and Heero had found his mood lifted somewhat when John had come in to do this.

Without question Trowa lowered Heero's hand back to the bed, and lifted the blankets himself pulling them securely over the gun and Heero's right arm. "Does anyone know you're here?" Heero asked suddenly not entirely sure why he hoped the answer would be no.

Trowa's visible eye flickered to the camera in the corner of the room, "I'm clear for an hour," he confirmer Heero's hope.

"Good," Heero breathed his head falling to the side, "Keep it that way."

The former Heavyarms pilot gave a start at that, "You want me to come back…" it wasn't exactly a question, it was more like Trowa was voicing how he truly felt. The relaxed way in which Trowa was sitting and talking with him, didn't mesh with what had happened before. Which lead Heero to believe he was looking at a mask, and Trowa's true feelings were still hidden deep within.

"I want to be back on my feet," there was a hint of a growl in his voice, he had been on his back for far to long already. Trowa had been the one to get him there after he had self destructed Wing. It had been Trowa who patiently worked with him, and wouldn't let him push himself to hard. Heero was comfortable with that, he could work with Trowa in a way he thought would be to difficult for the others.

Trowa looked at Heero critically, actually reaching out to pull the blankets away from his thin body. "Still a ways off from that don't you think?" he asked bluntly eyes coming to a stop on Heero's face, it was a bluntness he didn't think any but John would be able to muster. Heero gave Trowa an unimpressed look, as the former pilot reached across Heero's body to take hold of his left hand. "These stitches came out recently, when?"

"Couple hours ago," Heero admitted.

"Don't you think you should give yourself a little more time?" he asked back, his visible eyebrow lifting in question. Heero sighed silently, it was truth no matter how much he would like to deny it. Looking down at himself Heero had to admit he was still a long way off, and if Trowa was the one to work him back to his feet, he already knew it would be done on Trowa's terms.

Thanks for Reading!

**Scars**:

"Why would I blame you for something I chose to do?" he asked evenly eyes remaining steadily on Duo's face.

"We wouldn't listen to you!" Duo was quick to counter.

"You're listening now," Heero was just as fast.

"That doesn't…it can't make up for it," he shook his head adamantly taking two steps to put himself at the foot of Heero's bed. All the memories of what he had felt towards Heero came flooding back, he had said openly that Heero had to die! How could he ever come back from that, make it back to the friends they had been.

A spark of fire entered Heero's cobalt eyes, "What the Fuck could, Duo!" he demanded a hint of anger, or was it frustration entering his voice. "Nothing I want any of you to do! I don't blame you for what I made you believe, or how you acted!"

"You think that's going to help!" he challenged voice rise as it filled with his long pent up emotions, "I wish it could, but I'll always remember wanting you dead!" Duo couldn't believe he was admitting it, it was something he had never expected himself to say. But he thought it felt good to admit it, to no longer have it hanging silently over his head, in a place only he could see.

Heero shifted on the bed, and his right arm raised a little his hand resting on his chest, and held within it was a gun. Duo's eyes flew wide, where had he got that? "Is this what you want, then!" anger was the clear emotion in his voice then, as his thumb switched the safety off, "Will my killing you put everything right!"

Morganeth Taren'drel


	36. Scars

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: And I was doing so well there for a short while (Hangs head in shame) I humbly beg your forgiveness for this chapter being so late. And I hope you enjoy it, for all you Duo fans out there there's quite a bit of him this time around. So again I'm sorry, and I want to thank you all for being so patient with me, please enjoy this chapter!

**TheEvilAshelyness**: (smiles) Love the name! Not sure if and when Relena might find out about the torture, most likely it will come up, I'm sure she's bound to see the scars sometime. Thanks so much for the review, I hope you like this chapter as well.

**Sakura Blossom-Cilla-85**: Thank you, sorry this one took so long. Hope it was worth the wait!

**Clarobell**: Thank you for the review, umm hard to put an exact time on when he'll be back on his feet he's still pretty bad off right now. But he's making his way back towards that. I hope you're enjoying the renewing of friendships. Thanks again!

**Miroku****-has-darkness**: Thanks so much! Sorry it took me so long!

**Love'sAngel**: (smiles) good thing Ash and Dante are the main focus of the next chapter! No worries about not knowing what to do with them, reader reaction to Ash has got me so geared up to writing them back into the story a hell of a lot earlier than I originally intended, and it makes for some really fun moments with Heero (smiles) hope you're looking forward to it. Thanks so much for the review!

**D3**: Thanks so much! I'm still working on find a nice medium of quality and quantity I hate these long waits between chapters. I almost start to feel a loss on interest in what I'm writing, so hopefully there won't be too many more of them. Thanks again!

**Raizard333**: There will be no death to Duo (smiles) just the threat of, (laughs) hopefully that will be enough to knock some sense into him. Quatre's coming soon along with so much more! I hope very much not to make you wait this long again! Thanks for the review!

**Starcat3579**: Thank you very much! Sorry for the wait!

**Rekkaboziegirl**: Silly shooting each other does at least one good thing for these men (laughs) proves they're friends (smiles) hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks so much for the review!

**Ghostreader**: Thank you! I hope this lives up to the last one, and that you for being so patient with me!

**Kalorna**** Enera**: Thanks so much for the review! Hurray now that I've been dubbed 'The Most Exasperating Writer on the Surface of the Planet' I have something to try and live up to (rubs hands together in glee) I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I haven't seen and zombie-corpse's around though for the long weekend I sort of felt like one…I think you need to work on your magic a little more (smiles) thanks again and I hope you enjoy.

**Allura01**: That's great to hear! It means he was in character, and it was such a hard scene for that! I hope I managed it in this chapter too. Sorry it took so long! I hope this is worth the wait, thanks for the review!

**Elly**: Thank you so much! I couldn't believe it when I made it to 35 and there's still so much to go! Ash is coming back real soon (smiles) as in next chapter! So I'm hoping to have that for you really soon.

**rayshine**: Wow (smiles) I'm so happy to hear that! There's been times especially recently where I feel I'm not giving you guys enough romance, granted it's going to take a little time to bring Heero and Relena back to that, and I've actually just written a cute scene between them but it's still a little while away. Thank you so much! I hope you like this chapter!

**Sage-Doomhunter**: Wow, thank you! Thank you very much! I hope this story can continue to live up to such praise. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the rest! Thanks again!

**Keeroshu**: Thank you so much! I think you're the luckiest one among my reviewers I just received your review this morning and here's the next chapter! I hope you enjoy this one as much as the rest! Thank you again very much!

**Disclaimer**: I'm not the owner of Gundam Wing, never was, and most likely never will be. Sad but true.

**Scars**

Duo reached up to adjust his sunglasses as he held the car door for Relena. As she walked from the palace, a weary smile on her pretty face, she touched his arm in a silent greeting as she slipped into the car. Trowa followed a step behind her wearing the same black uniform Duo also wore. It was simple, easy to move in, and not eye catching; allowing the pilots, when necessary, to fade into the crowd. Duo closed the bullet proof door behind Relena and made his way over to the drivers side, while Trowa took the passengers without a word. On such a lovely June day, Duo had had no problem remaining outside to patrol the grounds while Trowa accompanied Relena in.

Starting the car, Duo cast a look over to Trowa. Neither of them had made their peace with Heero, though Duo was working up the nerve, and he had been there several times while Heero slept. Duo couldn't be positive but he thought there was more keeping Trowa from going to see Heero than just the knowledge that they had hated him without just cause for three years. Pulling away from the palace Duo already knew there was no point in asking his silent friend what the problem was, Trowa would deal with it on his own like he always did. Duo drove through the traffic with an expert hand, though at times he wished he wasn't restricted with just forwards and side to side.

In the rear-view mirror he saw Relena looking out the window, a contented expression on her face. It was getting on towards evening and she was done for the day, leaving her with a good stretch of time to visit with Heero. "Do you have a performance tonight Trowa?" Duo asked breaking the silence, and casting a glance his friend's way.

"Yeah," Trowa responded with a nod, "In a couple of hours."

"Say hi to Cathy for me," he caught a brief nod through the corner of one eye as he returned his attention back to the road. The royal palace was not far from the agency and it only took about ten minutes—through back roads to avoid the heavier traffic—to make it to their destination. Turning into the private underground parking garageDuo drove the vehicle to a secured location before putting it in park. It was not as though he expected an attack, he was merely following the procedure Une had called for. it was standard and no one really thought much about it anymore.

His door echoed hollowly as he got out and made his way to Relena's door. She smiled andaccepted his hand as she climbed gracefully from the car. "Thank you Duo," her blue eyes flickered to Trowa as he shut his door and strode towards his own car. She looked as though she were about to say something but suddenly thought better of it, a remorseful look passing through her eyes.

"Shall we?" Duo offered Relena his arm which she took leaning her head briefly against his shoulder. Together they walked over to the elevator and stepped in, Duo selecting their desired floor, as an after thought Duo took the sunglasses from his face and slipped them into the front pocket of his coat. They walked the halls at a relaxed pace, Relena smiling graciously and greeting those she passed, while Duo just watched the faces nodding occasionally to those he knew. They came to the elevator that would take them to the pilots floor, and Relena released his arm moving to stand rather eagerly at the door. Duo glanced down at her as the elevator began to move, and found Relena's eyes considering him rather intently.

"Why don't you come in with me?" she asked softly, eyes returning to the door, as though to give him a private moment to think about it.

Duo silently considered her request, and the elevator came to a stop before he had come to an answer. As much as he might have wanted to speak with Heero, Duo still didn't think he was ready for that; he couldn't think of what to say to him. He walked with Relena in continued silence coming to Heero's door, and still he had not responded. Relena turned to him, an encouraging smile on her face. "Don't think about it," she said taking hold of his coat sleeve, "You'll just think of reasons why you shouldn't. But you should, he'll be happy to see you," Relena knocked on his door with her free hand, keeping a firm hold of him with the other.

Duo felt a rush of nerves, much like he had at the beginning of a battle, though these had the feel of a battle he was sure to lose. He shook his head banishing such thoughts, as the door slid aside and he found himself being dragged into the room. Relena released him the moment the door closed behind them and walked over to Heero's bedside, "How are you feeling?" she asked as a form of greeting her small hands taking hold of Heero's half raised hand. Duo watched them from the door trying to be an invisible figure. Heero's eyes were watching Relena's face entirely but Duo knew Heero was aware of his presence.

Relena leaned down towards Heero, speaking to him in low tones that Duo's ears could barely hear, and what he did catch was just a slight murmur. Her hands caressed Heero's seeming without thought, and it struck Duo that this was the first time he had actually seen anything between the two of them, and that included before Heero had deceived them all. There had been no question back then as to whether or not Heero and Relena were seeing each other, more like there had been on going bets as to whom would be the first to catch them actually kissing. Duo felt Heero's eyes fall upon him, and he froze not daring to look the Japanese man clear in the face.

Before he knew it Relena was standing in front of him her expression warm and understanding as she rested a hand on his arm. "It'll be fine," she assured and quickly left the room. Duo remained where he had been standing the moment he entered, his eyes focused on the foot of the bed, unable to look up at Heero's face. He felt like a fool to be standing there like a statue unable to make the first step towards the reconciliation he wanted so much. Drawing a determined breath Duo forced his eyes to meet with Heero's hoping that might jump start his brain give him something to say.

"How's Hilde?" Heero asked mere seconds after Duo finally looked at him.

The American blinked in surprise. He had not been expecting that at all, and as much as he would have liked to answer the question with all the enthusiasm that he usually possessed, he couldn't. It was not the first thing he should have been saying now that he was with Heero, but he was unable to think of the right words to heal the rift that stood between them. His hands slipped into his pockets as his eyes slowly lowered the silence stretching on, he shouldn't have come in, it was clear he wasn't ready for this. But would he ever really be ready to see him?

"Did you enjoy the honeymoon?" Heero spoke again, his voice sounding patient.

Duo's head came up, and without thought the words came, "Why are you asking me that? You shouldn't be asking that!" He shook his head in disbelief, "You should be mad at me, why aren't you mad!"

"Duo, who's idea was this?"

"What?" Duo removed a hand from his pocket bringing it up to his brow.

"Who's idea?" he wasn't any clearer but the look in his eyes was pointed.

Duo knew what he was speaking of now, but it seemed to him to be as random and out of place as Heero's questions about Hilde. "What does that have to do with this?"

"Why would I blame you for something I chose to do?" he asked evenly eyes remaining steadily on Duo's face.

"We wouldn't listen to you!" Duo was quick to counter.

"You're listening now," Heero was just as fast.

"That doesn't…it can't make up for it," he shook his head adamantly taking two steps to put himself at the foot of Heero's bed. All the memories of what he had felt towards Heero came flooding back, he had said openly that Heero had to die! How could he ever come back from that, make it back to the friends they had been.

A spark of fire entered Heero's cobalt eyes, "What the fuck could!" he demanded a hint of anger, or was it frustration entering his voice. "Nothing I want any of you to do! I don't blame you for what I made you believe, or how you acted!"

"You think that's going to help!" he challenged voice rise as it filled with his long pent up emotions, "I wish it could, but I'll always remember wanting you dead!" Duo couldn't believe he was admitting it. It was something he had never expected himself to say, but he thought it felt good to admit it, to no longer have it handing silently over his head, in a place only he could see.

Heero shifted on the bed, and his right arm raised a little his hand resting on his chest, and held within it was a gun. Duo's eyes flew wide, where had he got that? "Is this what you want, then!" anger was the clear emotion in his voice then, as his thumb switched the safety off, "Will my killing you put everything right!"

Duo stared down the barrel of that gun for several long minutes, this wasn't what he wanted, it was going making it worse. His shoulders slumped as he slowly shook his head this wasn't what he wanted, hadn't been what he intended. Pulling his hand through his bangs Duo rested his head on his palm, "I knew I shouldn't have come…" his whispered eyes closing.

He could hear the click of the safety, "I'm glad you did," Heero told him, voice calm as it had been at the beginning.

"Why!" his voice sounded incredulous as he pulled his hand away from his face.

"Well according to John, I care because that's what people do," Heero said laying the gun aside, the expression on his face appearing as though he didn't fully understand it himself, "If you want a better answer than that, go bother him."

Duo laughed, he couldn't help it the look on Heero's face and the way he said it were just so odd. Still at the same time he couldn't believe he was laughing, didn't feel he had the right to be so relaxed. A ghost of a smile touched Heero's features, and Duo silently wondered what John would have thought about such a thing. Duo had worked with him a few times helping take care of Heero, and it had been immediately clear how much he cared for the Japanese man. Heero's eyes turned towards a chair that had been positioned near the head of his bed, a mute signal that's where he wanted Duo to go. He hesitated running through his mind all that had just happened, it could easily go that way again, yethe didn't want it to still he wasn't sure he could just sit there and pretend that the last three years hadn't happened. But could speaking with Heero, in normal tones, about normal things help?

Forcing himself to stop thinking about it, if he considered it too much he knew that's what was going to keep him where he was, on the far side of his friendship. Duo walked over to the plush chair and slowly lowered himself into it. Heero shifted on the bed, working to cover the gun with the blankets were he had kept it concealed. Half of Duo wanted to reach out and help, but he was torn, what right did he have to help Heero after all he had done? Though at the same time just sitting here watching him, wasn't going to do anything to mend relations. Drawing a calming breath Duo bit the bullet and took hold of the sheets.

That put aside Heero turned his focus to Duo's face, depthless blue eyes boring deeply into Duo's own lavender ones. It was not as uncomfortable as Duo had expected it to be, but as the silence stretched on he found it more difficult not to shift under that gaze. He tried to think of something to say, but nothing sounded right, he hoped Heero would say something, anything.

"How's Hilde?" he asked his original question again, as though this was the very beginning.

Duo's head dropped a dry laugh escaping him, "She's good," he told Heero looking him in the face again, "Pregnant with our second child." Heero's eyes widened at that surprise clearly shining in them, and it struck Duo with just how much time had passed, just how much Heero might not know. "Erik's three years old, he'll be four in October, Hilde's hoping for another boy, so Erik has someone to play with," Duo smiled with a shrug feeling relaxed when talking about his family, "I wouldn't mind a little girl."

The silence retuned then but it was not uncomfortable, nor did it last long, both Heero's eyes and face relaxed, "You enjoyed your honeymoon?" it was not really a question.

Duo smiled at the memory, Hilde had been beside herself, they had been given two weeks at the most exclusive resort in the whole Earth Sphere. They had been given the honeymoon suite, the only portion of the resort with a three year waiting list, while the rest was a short one to two years. It had been a dream for Hilde, for those two weeks she felt like royalty, Duo hadn't quite known what to make of all of it. Having just survived the war, and still trying to adjust to peace, he hadn't yet acquainted himself with such creature comforts. Duo's smile slipped as he looked closer at Heero, how had the Japanese man known about that. It had been an odd moment at the wedding reception when the gift had been found with no name attached, and no one present would own up to putting out so much money for them.

"It was you…" he breathed, the realisation finally coming to him. "But how?"

Heero's eyes seemed to shrug, "Doesn't matter, I'm just glad you enjoyed it."

He felt as though the breath had been knocked from him, he didn't know what to say, it was something he had never expected. Duo suddenly felt guilty all over again, here he had enjoyed a gift from Heero, while in the back of his mind, hating him the entire time. His head dropped, he couldn't maintain eye contact with Heero, it felt like every step they took bringing them closer to the friendship they had lost, there was always something to pull them back to this awkward ground. Duo rocked a little where he was sitting, uncomfortable with the silence, but unable to think of anything to break it.

WMWMWMW

The metal door slid closed behind Duo, and as he found himself standing out in the hall, he remained there leaning his weight against the door, eyes focused on the ground. That had not gone as he wanted it to, but at the same time it had been what he expected. All preconceived notions were gone, and he now clearly knew where he stood. The problems were on his side, the guilt all his own, and it was that he had to fight against, if he ever wanted to have things back as they once were. With a heavy sigh Duo pushed himself off the door, despite the depression he was feeling, he also felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He had been to see Heero, finally while he was awake, and hopefully it would get better with time.

Duo strode down the empty hall towards the common room, he still had a few hours to get some work done if he could keep his mind focused on it, and not his meeting with Heero. He had been working at expanding the list of names Heero had given to Zechs. it was incredibly difficult as he couldn't follow his target and see what sort of people they associated with. As it was he and Wufei had been at it for roughly twelve days, and had only managed to add four more potential names. He entered the silent room and strode across the distance to the computers systems set up against the far wall, seating himself he quickly set to work. But he found his thoughts bouncing around in the silence, unable to stray long from replaying his conversation with Heero.

Turning on some music, Duo let the notes fill the part of his mind that could not stay on track, and he refocused his efforts on the screen in front of him. He sifted through information as quickly as his eyes could scan it for details, and he sighed for what had to be the hundredth time while doing this sort of work. _Why couldn't they be like everyone else? We live in an age of computers and they're treating it like it's the plague_ Duo shook his head, sending a ripple effect down his braid. For a moment Duo turned his eyes from the computer to a large white board standing off to the side, on it were the names of all the members they were aware of presently. The four new names all denoted with a question mark. It bothered Duo to see Heero's name on the bottom of the list, but it helped to know who he had been connected to, and in turn who they heard from; hopefully with a little luck they might actually trace it back to the head.

Duo went limp in his chair his head dropping back to study the ceiling, "But what century will it be then?" he asked of the empty room. It was all too slow, no wonder Heero only managed to acquire twelve names before he was caught. There was really no fast way to finding members short of strip searching everyone on the colony. An electronic beeping broke through the walls of music and thought that were circling in Duo's brain, and he sat forward suddenly. Turning his chair to the computer Duo's fingers flew over the keys small window popping up on the screen as he did, but he paid them little mind. He had set up a net to catch anything that dealt with Heero, it was an effort to catch information on the pilots life while he was away from them. This was the first he had heard from his program.

Working quickly, Duo felt a spark of excitement ignite within him, as his eyes finally fell upon the information. What he saw shocked him, and the excitement drained away to be replayed by anger. On the computer screen before him, Duo saw Heero's thin form, looking lifeless with all the tubes and wires leading away from his body, in fact it was almost impossible to really see Heero in all that. The image was not perfect, and the angle of the camera only focused on Heero, Duo caught movement around the edges of the screen, and he watched in silence as men moved in reaching for Heero. They lifted him like a doll, turning him so he was on his stomach, and then roughly stripped the shirt from his body.

Duo found himself leaning in closer as one man entered the image, though all Duo could really make out was the top of his head. The man held an item over Heero's body, Duo tired to clear the image so he could get a better look at what it was, but it was no use. His answer however came when he watched the man press the item hard into Heero's shoulder blade. The Japanese man twitched, his body convulsing with pain, though he was clearly not fully aware. Duo's eyes widened, this was the branding, some sick bastard had filmed it! But that was not the end of it either, the file Duo's program had found documented the entire process of branding Heero, displaying each time that same man came in to scrub at the scar, making it clearer.

At the end of it all Duo sat there, eyes watching the blank screen feeling a little stunned but more angry than anything. This had been done against Heero's will, and, even now Heero didn't know the brand marked him. Duo turned his chair away, eyes looking about the room without really seeing, as he thought about how best to proceed from here. Was this too something they were going to keep from Heero, for who knew how long? Duo quickly retuned to the computer making sure to save the file in a safe place. He wondered why this information had only come to the surface now, where had it been before? Pulling out his cell as he continued to work, Duo selected a number from among the list.

"Une," a feminine voice announced after the second ring.

"Yeah, it's me," he knew his voice would be recognised, "Look I've found something I think you should see…" Duo sent the file to her computer.

"What is it?" Une asked having not yet received the file.

Duo once more turned his chair away from the computer, "It speaks for itself, I think."

There was silence for several moments, presumably while Une reviewed the footage, "Unfortunate that we can't get a good image of this man's face…" she mused finally.

"He's probably one of the high ranking members too," Duo sighed, they couldn't catch a break.

"I was informed the brand was done several months ago, any idea why this is only being found now?"

"Zechs told me the bunker where they were keeping Heero was totally self sustaining, no outside electricity," Duo stood from his chair and began to pace about the room, his mind working quickly. "Access to computer files within is impossible. Unless you're in there I'd say whoever filmed this finally decided to move it to a private computer…" he shrugged though Une couldn't see, "It's nothing but speculation though…"

"Alright, make sure the others know about this," Une instructed needlessly.

"Will do," the former pilot shut off his cell, and slipped it back into his pocket, and looked back to the computer.

WMWMWMW

Sally walked out from her bathroom with her hair still wet from her shower. She had finished work relatively early that day, and had been trying to relax with this extra time off. Unfortunately she couldn't sit still, couldn't keep her thoughts on any one thing. Sally could feel something nagging at the back of her mind, had felt it for weeks, but never so persistent as now. She knew exactly what it was, but wouldn't let herself think about it, didn't want to think about it, still no matter how she tried she couldn't run from it. She always knew she was a few doors down from him, a constant reminder of the oath she had broken, the friend she had betrayed, treated like nothing more than a doll.

Nausea rose up from Sally's core, it was self hatred, something she feared she be struggling with for the rest of her life. She wondered if she'd ever be able to look herself in the mirror again, and not hate what she saw there. John still had faith in her, had spoken with her many times face to face and over the phone, trying his best to both bolster her courage and resolve. There was no question about how he saw things, she needed to go and see him sometime. Sally shook herself mentally, Heero, she had to start thinking of him by name, she couldn't distance herself forever…could she? Sally paced across her living room, the light of the setting sun casting a fiery glow around the room. She felt both mentally and physically exhausted, it was so hard to keep up appearances with those she worked with and the patients she saw too every day. It might be possible to lie to herself when she was around them, but she couldn't do it here, when she was alone, the truth was always clear.

She dreamed of not having this weight upon her shoulders, but Sally kept telling herself she deserved this, had brought it on herself, so she'd just have to live with it. Thing was, whenshe saw how much of thefuture ahead of her would bedealing with this guilt, it was just too powerful, to consuming. Pulling her hands through her hair in frustration Sally could feel the tears trying to come, but she forced them back summoning up a wall of anger. She hated feeling this way, restless on the verge of a breakdown when she was alone. She didn't want to be alone, but at the same time she didn't want to be with people; they could judge her, something Sally didn't think she'd be able to deal with right now.

Her phone rang suddenly breaking the errant train of her thoughts, and she quickly walked over to it, one hand pulling through her damp locks as she raised the receiver to her ear. "This is Sally," she spoke grateful that her voice sounded normal, not as shaken up as she felt.

"Sal we've got a problem here," Wufei's voice instantly recognisable sounded concerned, and Sally immediately felt her stomach drop, there could be only one reason he'd be calling.

"What is it?" she asked calmly, holding out a tiny useless hope that it could be something else.

"John wasn't able to make it in today, came down with something, and he doesn't want to risk giving it to Heero," Wufei explained in equally calm tones, though she could still hear concern. "Problem is, Heero's temperature had been on the rise, I'm starting to think he might have caught whatever John was carrying. But I need you to come down here and check on him, to be sure he's alright."

Sally stopped breathing, it was exactly what she had feared, andsuddenlyshe felt completely cornered. There was nowhere for her to turn, no escape from a confrontation with Heero. As much as she didn't want this, knew she couldn't possibly be ready for something like this, a part of her deep within knew she had to take this step at one point, if she ever wanted to move on. Sally knew she would never be ready for something like this, and already her mind was trying to find a way out of it, her stomach twisting into painful knots as the thought of looking Heero in the face, not to mention having to get close enough to him to actually examine him.

"Sally," the Chinese man's voice cut through her thoughts, "I need you down here, there's no one else."

Sally shut her eyes tightly, "I know…" she whispered. She felt like she was rooted in place, faced with a challenge she was not equipped to deal with.

"Look, I can come and get you if I need to," it wasn't meant as a threat, it was perhaps the best thing he could have done. It was removing all options, forcing her to do what she couldn't make herself decide to. "I'm coming over," Wufei decided for her, and cut the conversation. Sally slowly lowered the phone back to the cradle and turned towards the door, already seeing Wufei's shadow under the edge. As much as Sally knew he'd be there in no time she wished it had taken him a little longer.

The knock on the door was inevitable, she briefly considered not answering, but she knew Wufei knew the code to her door. Walking with hesitant steps towards the door Sally threw her loose hair over her shoulder as she pressed the button that would open the door. Wufei stood a step away from the door, expression unreadable. he didn't say anything, there really wasn't anything too say. He just stepped aside and walked with her back down the hall towards Heero's room.

Sally felt like a great weight was constricting her chest and it was an effort to breathe normally, she didn't want to draw any more attention than she already had. She just had to get in make sure Heero was okay, and get out again. Sally shook her head drawing a glance from Wufei, she knew it wasn't going to be that easy, there was just no way. All too soon they were standing in front of the door Wufei gave her no time to think about it as he knocked sharply upon the door and punched in the code. His hand on the small of her back guided her in, and the door slid closed behind her before she could even put on the breaks.

Her eyes found Heero immediately, though it wasn't intentional. He was basically right in front of her, his eyes widened when he saw her, it was clear he had not been expecting her. Sally stood frozen with her back pressed tightly to the door, her mind had shut down, she couldn't think of how to proceed from here. "Sally…" Heero said her name into the silence, and she flinched, it had not been said harshly he was just surprised, and perhaps a little pleased? Sally shook herself internally, it couldn't possibly be that, why would he be pleased to see her? Something struck Sally despite the fact that her mind wasn't functioning properly, Heero's features were not flushed as she had been expecting on hearing he had a fever.

WMWMWMW

Heero studied Sally in silence, the minutes ticking past slowly, it was clear she didn't want to be here, she looked terrified to be in the same room with him. Everyone had taken the news about the truth differently, and had come to him just the same, differently. It had been a challenge to try and find a way to bridge that gap and make a fresh start. But Heero thought this would be the hardest of all, he knew Sally felt guilt for her actions towards him that was clear just by looking at her, not to mention the fact that she had avoided him for this long. Heero didn't think the silence would be broken any time soon, he was impressed though that Sally was still in the room, when she could have easily bolted, so what was keeping her there?

Wufei had been standing outside the door when it opened, and Heero thought he saw him push Sally into the room. What had brought her here? Another question he would have liked an answer to, but it wasn't something he wanted to try and start a conversation with, he didn't think it would get them anywhere. So then, how was he to get her away from that door, and talking? One answer entered Heero's mind, something he felt was sure to work not matter how guilty Sally was feeling over her actions, actions Heero could hardly remember, like much that had happened then.

"Sally," he spoke her name again clearly, and reached for the rail that lined the side of his bed, gripping it he made as though to shift position, but gasped in pain, letting it show upon his face. One eye closed as he winced, while the other watched Sally reacted naturally, as she would have three years before—though back then they would never have given her such an opening—rushing over to his side, concern clearly written on her face. But that was as far as she went, and she looked shocked with herself that she was standing there, if she had seen through Heero's rouse she didn't let that show. The pain for Heero had been real enough though not as bad as he made it out to be, and drawing a slow breath he thought quickly of what to say, he didn't feel as though there was a lot of time.

"I don't want you feeling sorry for yourself," he said, looking up at her, unable to see her eyes as her head hung causing a curtain of damp hair to shield her face from view. "You fucked up," he made the words forceful, not regretting the flinch he saw shake her, "We all fucked up," he added just as firmly. "If you blame you for doing this, then I get to blame myself for everything I've done during the war," it was just that simple in Heero's eyes.

Sally's head turned away despite the fact he already couldn't make out her face, "But this wasn't during the war…" she breathed voice catching at the end.

"Yes it was," Heero was quick to counter.

"How can you say that?" Sally asked incredulous, her head turned towards him but not enough that he could see her face, "It's been three years since the war ended."

Heero's eyes closed a little, "For you maybe…" it had never felt like peace to Heero, he knew he was living in an age he had never experienced before, but it had never been real for him. Perhaps because he had still had one last mission to complete, a mission that was still incomplete, who knew when Heero would actually feel the war had ended.

Sally shuddered her hands gripped tightly together in front of her, "I betrayed…who I am…" her voice faltered. "I broke my oath," her head came up but instead of looking at him her eyes rose to the ceiling, he could at least see the tears standing out on the edges. "That had no connection to the war, and it's something I can never get back…" her voice was harsh, and he knew it was all directed at herself.

The former pilot felt no sympathy towards her for this, instead irritation rose within him, "I didn't throw everything away for the sake of the peace to come back to this!" In his mind, as much as he knew going back to how everything had once been would be very hard, that was what he had held onto.

"I don't know what you expect!" Sally flared as well her eyes moving a little closer to his face though they didn't look him in the eye. "I can't pretend like nothing happened! I can't look you in the eyes, let alone myself," the emotion faded from her voice and her face fell behind a shield of hair once more, "I have no right to be standing here."

"Sally!" he barked her name, and she flinched as though struck, "We've all done terrible things! Quatre destroyed colonies, Zechs rose up against the earth, if they can forgive themselves and move on you have to too!" It was an argument very much going back to what he had first said to her, and there was still so much more that he could add to it, his past was just as blood filled if not more so.

To his utter frustration Sally's head shook slowly, "Is that what you told them?" she inquired softly, though it became clear she really wasn't looking for an answer. "That might have worked for them but…"

"It's true for you too!" Heero was fast to interject, he didn't feel like he was gaining any ground here, and unlike the others he felt like he was fast running out of things to convince her with. "I don't blame you, I can't blame any one of you for what I made you believe," he had said this before, something similar to all of them.

"I can't forgive myself for what I did…" she whispered, unconvinced by his words.

"You're going to have to find a way," he told her firmly, grateful for at least one thing in all of this, the fact that Sally was still standing near to his bed, she had yet to try and make a break for the door.

As though his thought had sparked her into motion Sally glanced towards the door, with what Heero was sure had been a longing look, "I shouldn't be here…" it was said quietly as though only too her self, and Heero felt his anger rise. Had she given up, decided there was no further point in trying to solve this?

"Where are you going to be!" he demanded angrily, actually letting the emotion enter into his words, "Sitting alone wallowing in self pity!" She flinched again, but this time it was what Heero wanted, he wanted his words to cut, maybe that's what it was going to take.

Her hand was shaking visibly as it reached for her face, "I knew I wouldn't be able to deal with this…" the words hardly spoken were directed towards herself, as though Heero wasn't even in the room watching her.

"Stop it, Sally!" his voice raised a little drawing her attention back to him, "If you feel so damn guilty shouldn't you be more concerned about me than you!"

"What!" that had caught her off guard, which is exactly what Heero wanted, at least now she was listening to him.

"I just want everything back to normal," he sighed feeling suddenly very fatigued, "I don't want to deal with this any more, and I don't want to lose any of you!" The last he spoke with out the fire of raw emotions, it was perhaps as close as his voice ever got to gentle.

Sally stared down at him for a long time, her eyes unable to remain still upon his face, but at least she was looking at him, thinking about what he said. Her eyes were glassy and her features pale, tremors still shook her hands, and trembling teeth worried at her lower lip, she was just barely holding it together but she was standing her ground. Sally opened her mouth as though to speak, but nothing came out of her quaking jaw, taking several moments she seemed to try and gather herself. Heero was content to wait as long as needed, nothing was ever going to be resolved if she continued to run from this. "It's…" she brought a hand up to her mouth pressing the back of her fingers to her lips, and with a shaky sigh tired again. "It's going to take…time…" she finally managed to get out.

"At least you're making the first step," he was quick to point out, a knock on the door brought both their heads about, and Heero watched as John walked slowly into the room.

For some reason Sally seemed surprised be this and she blinked at him several times "Wufei told me you were sick…" a gentle and somewhat guilty smile touched John's aged face at that, and Heero wondered just what exactly had happened before Sally had been pushed into his room.

"I'm sorry about that Sally," John apologised reaching out a hand to rest it reassuringly on her shoulder, "But I didn't think you'd come in here any other way."

Sally's eyes looked to Heero, and though they still didn't rest completely on his own eyes, he could see the question in them, "I didn't know anything about this," he admitted looking to John for some explanation.

"What I really wanted you to do was take the stitches out of his chest," John told her, not bothering to explain anything else. Sally didn't say anything else in response to that but just held out one hand to show the old doctor how much it was still shaking, "You can at least lend me a hand." He walked over to Heero's side casting a glance back towards Sally even as his hands reached for the blanket covering Heero, "Would you get me a pare of scissors?"

Heero caught John's hand before he could pull the blankets away, "What did you do?" he asked quietly.

John didn't struggle against his hand, and a good thing too as Heero knew he wouldn't be able to stop him right now, he still lacked strength. "I just left her no other choice," he gently removed Heero's hand from his own and folded the blankets back.

**An Unexpected Reunion**:

"Dante, Ash," her eyes settled on each as she spoke their names, "This is Dr John den Biesen, he was the one caring for Heero before he died."

Ash's expression darkened at that but he said nothing, the old doctor looked to him, his expression appearing grieved. But that didn't seem right to Ash, why should this man feel anything but perhaps satisfaction? He had not been a friend to Heero, and not known him at his weakest. This doctor could only have known Heero as a traitor, someone he must have been glad to see dead. Ash could feel his anger rising, but a calming hand from Dante rested briefly upon his arm brought him back.

Une removed her attention from the computer before her, and slid it over to Johnbefore returning her attention to Dante and Ash. "I believe we should start, John?" all eyes turned to the old doctor, who cleared his throat before beginning.

"Heero was discovered in a terrible condition, both malnourished and dehydrated, he was severely under weight, and hardly conscious," John's eyes moved between them as he spoke his voice sound as regretful as he face looked. "That was unfortunately not all we had to deal with," his hand gestured towards the head of the table where built into the wall was a large screen which was now displaying a series of x-rays. "He had sustained numerous broken bones and deep lacerations, along with that internal bleeding."

Ash stared at the x-rays hardly believing the battered figure they were displaying could possibly be his friend Heero, "How did that happen?" he demanded suddenly the fire of his emotions filtering into his voice.

"Unfortunately we don't know," Une told him calmly.

"Well that's convenient…" he muttered darkly under his breath.

"Ash," Dante warned quietly before looking back to John silently biding him to continue.

John glanced to Ash briefly before the majority of his attention turned to Dante, "We did all we could, stopped the internal bleeding gave him a transfusion, but the damage was just too great, infection set in, and he didn't have the strength to fight." His brown eyes looked in Ash's direction then, and once again he looked truly regretful that they had not been able to save Heero, "I am truly sorry for you loss."

That was it, something in Ash snapped, "Bullshit!" he barked coming to his feet and slamming his palms down on the table before, "He was nothing more than a traitor to you! I'm sure you were glad to see him die," his eyes flashed to Une, "It saved you the cost of putting him on trail!"

"Ash!" Dante rose quickly taking his friend by the shoulders, "That's enough!"

"How do we know they didn't kill him themselves!" Ash demanded.

Dante's expression darkened as he pulled Ash away from the table, "This is not why we came here!" he hissed angrily, "Go take a walk, I'll deal with the rest of this."

Ash glared darkly, shifting his gaze back to the two sitting at the table, a part of him wanted to fight this, he didn't want to be told what to do. But the other half of him no longer wanted to be sitting at the same table with the man who had not been able to save Heero's life. Muttering a curse under his breath Ash strode angrily towards the door.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	37. An Unexpected Reunion

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: This is a little better than last time eh? (smiles) I know a lot of you are wondering when Heero's going to get back up on his feet. I hope you'll all understand why I don't just want to go 'three months later...' there's so much that still needs to be done with these friendships, and now that Ash is here I can tell you that the next few chapters are pure fun! At this moment I don't think I can say exactly how long until Heero's back on his feet (I still haven't written it yet, but I'm nearly there) I hope you'll continue to enjoy the story!

**A huge THANK YOU to morgansgirl and Pious Knight You two make my day!**

I'd also like to dedicate this chapter to **Tiger Shinigami** it's been a while, but I was thinking of you when I wrote this chapter! If you ever see it, I hope you like Duo and Ash's first meeting (smiles)

**TheEvilAshleyness**: I hope this wasn't too long a wait! I'm so happy everyone loves Ash so much (Smiles) it was a reaction I hadn't been expecting when I first wrote this story. and under Heero even (smiles) that's a pretty big like! Thank you so much for the review! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**kirbus**: Thank you so much! this story has just about consumed my life (laughs) I'll be finishing it you can be sure of that, but it's going to take me a while. (smiles) hope you're in for a long ride (laughs)

**Sakura Blossom-Cilla-85**: Thanks for the review! Ash will find Heero (smiles) I hope you enjoy their reunion!

**Clarobell**: Thank you so much for the review! (smiles) here's an interesting fact: in the hand written version of the story there was actually a scene of Relena cutting Heero's hair...but I don't think anything like that's going to make its way in this time around. So many thing have changed and become clearer to me since I started typing this up on my computer. Thanks so much!

**Squall-l-l**: Thank you so much! I hope you think so!

**L.A.UNE**: Thank you so much! I hope this wait wasn't too long!

**Starcat3579**: Thank you so much! that Heero Sally scene was bloody hard to write (smiles) I think most of the conversation came to me while I was at work. (laughs) that happens a lot with difficult scenes. Ash is going to meet someone on his walk (laughs) you'll have to read to see who. Thanks again!

**Keeroshu**: Oh yes (smiles) Duo's next child will be brought into the story again, and so will little Erik. Yep Ash and Heero will meet again, I'm actually really excited about this, since it was never supposed to happen this way when I started writing the story. But you've all shown such a great love for Ash that I just had to bring him back (smiles) he's a fun character to write. As for how long Heero's going to have to stay in bed...it's hard for me to put a number on it, whether it's days in the story, or chapters. I'm working at getting him back on his feet, but I want to try and keep this as real as possible. Thanks so much for reviewing!

**Raizard333**: Quatre's coming, I can't quite remember the chapter number but it is coming (smiles) about I'll I can tell you about Heero being back in action is that it is coming. Unfortunately I can't say exactly when. But I hope you'll continue to enjoy the character development. Thanks so much for the review!

**Kalorna**** Enera**: W00t! Thank you! that was a very hard chapter for me, writing two of those scenes...(shudder) not easy, and there's more difficult chapters to come (laughs) stupid hard story (smiles). I hope this chapter didn't take too long, and I hope you enjoy it...sorry I didn't really give you time to practice your Zombie raising skills...but I guess for both of us that's a good thing!

**miroku****-has-darkness**: Wow interesting idea, can't say I've ever been a huge fan of killing the pilots, I just like them too darn much (smiles) The Inner Circle will be dealt with in time I'm really looking forward to writing that part since everything is just about back to normal then. I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks so much for the review!

**D3**: Hurray! thankfully I don't think I made you wait too long for this one, (fingers crossed) hopefully I can keep this up! Thanks for the reciew!

**Ghostreader**: Thank you, I'm glad you liked that part, it was a challenge to write both of them, especially in one chapter (smiles) kind of glad it's behind me now (laughs) thanks again!

**darthchibichibi**: Thank you so much! I hope you continue to enjoy it!

**reiniku**: Thank you so much! It's such a relief to have almost all the apologies done, and know up to this point everyone has loved them (smiles) they were all the hardest parts to write! it's such a relief! Thank you! I really enjoyed writing Trowa's, I think more than the rest, and I think that's mostly because it stayed very true to the original hand written version, whereas the others all changed a great deal. Thanks again I hope you enjoy this chapter

**Kie**: Thank you very much! I'm truly flattered! and I can tell you (smiles) Ash will meet with Heero again! and much fun will be had! Ash has been a really joy for me to write (smiles) as for Sally I'm still working on that one, I have a bunch of chapters written, and where I am in the story things are finally getting a little better between her and Heero. They actually had a relatively normal conversation with each other in one chapter (smiles) Thank you again! I hope this wasn't too long a wait! and I really hope you continue to enjoy!

**Mini Nicka**: Thank you so very much, (laughs) nothing being easy means everything's hard for me (smiles) Thank you again!

**Sage-Doomhunter**: Thank you! I hope I didn't make you wait too long!

**Disclaimer**: Here we are again...another chapter out...and I still don't own Gundam Wing

**An Unexpected Reunion**

Ash paced the length of the small conference room, feeling restless and therefore unable to sit down beside his friend, who had been watching him the whole time. They had arrived on Earth from their colony earlier in the day. Une had arranged for the meeting to happen that evening, allowing them a little time to rest from the trip, something Ash had been unable to do. As he came again to the edge of theroom and turned to start back the other way his eyes unfortunately found Dante's, he looked away quickly but it was too late. "Ash," his name was spoken like a warning, but he quickly turned away, continuing his pacing. "Come take a seat, you're making me tired just looking at you, and I've been sleeping properly these last few weeks," the last was a very pointed remark but Ash just shook his head.

He couldn't deny, though, what Dante said, from the moment he had been told about this meeting Ash hadn't been able to think of anything else. He wondered if this would give him the closure he had been searching for all these months. At the same time he was anxious. He didn't want to know everything because then there'd be no hope that Heero was possibly alive, and that was a hope he had been holding onto from the moment his friend had disappeared. Ash pulled a hand through his hair, but quickly brought it before his face. For the moment at least his pacing stopped as he studied the trembling in his hand. A strong hand fell upon Ash's shoulder while he was still looking down, without him realising it Dante had stood and come to his side.

"Come take a seat," he bade while guiding his friend to the table, and together they both took a seat. Ash could feel a restless energy build up within him, he didn't want to remain sitting he needed to be moving. But as he was getting ready to stand again, the door at the far side of the room opened and Commander Une walked in, with an older man following behind her.

"My apologies for making you wait," She said taking a seat across from Dante while the older man placed himself facing Ash.

"It's not a problem," Dante told her with a smile that angered Ash, she returned the expression while placing a small laptop on the table before her. She connected several wires to a panel in the table before she once more looked up, and glanced to the man who had followed her in.

"Dante, Ash," her eyes settled on each as she spoke their names, "This is Dr John den Biesen, he was the one caring for Heero before he died."

Ash's expression darkened at that but he said nothing, the old doctor looked to him, his expression appearing grieved. But that didn't seem right to Ash, why should this man feel anything but perhaps satisfaction? He had not been a friend to Heero, and not known him at his weakest. This doctor could only have known Heero as a traitor, someone he must have been glad to see dead. Ash could feel his anger rising, but a calming hand from Dante rested briefly upon his arm brought him back.

Une removed her attention from the computer before her, and slid it over to Johnbefore returning her attention to Dante and Ash. "I believe we should start, John?" all eyes turned to the old doctor, who cleared his throat before beginning.

"Heero was discovered in a terrible condition, both malnourished and dehydrated, he was severely under weight, and hardly conscious," John's eyes moved between them as he spoke his voice sound as regretful as he face looked. "That was unfortunately not all we had to deal with," his hand gestured towards the head of the table where built into the wall was a large screen which was now displaying a series of x-rays. "He had sustained numerous broken bones and deep lacerations, along with that internal bleeding."

Ash stared at the x-rays hardly believing the battered figure they were displaying could possibly be his friend Heero, "How did that happen?" he demanded suddenly the fire of his emotions filtering into his voice.

"Unfortunately we don't know," Une told him calmly.

"Well that's convenient…" he muttered darkly under his breath.

"Ash," Dante warned quietly before looking back to John silently biding him to continue.

John glanced to Ash briefly before the majority of his attention turned to Dante, "We did all we could, stopped the internal bleeding gave him a transfusion, but the damage was just too great, infection set in, and he didn't have the strength to fight." His brown eyes looked in Ash's direction then, and once again he looked truly regretful that they had not been able to save Heero, "I am truly sorry for you loss."

That was it, something in Ash snapped, "Bullshit!" he barked coming to his feet and slamming his palms down on the table before, "He was nothing more than a traitor to you! I'm sure you were glad to see him die," his eyes flashed to Une, "It saved you the cost of putting him on trail!"

"Ash!" Dante rose quickly taking his friend by the shoulders, "That's enough!"

"How do we know they didn't kill him themselves!" Ash demanded.

Dante's expression darkened as he pulled Ash away from the table, "This is not why we came here!" he hissed angrily, "Go take a walk, I'll deal with the rest of this."

Ash glared darkly, shifting his gaze back to the two sitting at the table, a part of him wanted to fight this, he didn't want to be told what to do. But the other half of him no longer wanted to be sitting at the same table with the man who had not been able to save Heero's life. Muttering a curse under his breath, Ash strode angrily towards the door.

WMWMWMW

Dante watched the door of the conference room slam closed behind Ash, before he turned an apologetic look towards Une and John. "I'm sorry for that," he sighed taking a seat again.

"Not to worry," Une assured.

"He looked as though he's been balancing on that edge for a long time now," John mused eyes looking back towards the door as he spoke.

"Yes, I was afraid this might happen, he hasn't exactly been sleeping well in the last little while…" Dante pulled a hand down his face.

"He was very close with Heero," Une seemed to both question and speak to John.

Dante nodded to that affirming the statement before he straightened up in his chair, "Thank you for your honesty," he began, "I didn't think this would be enough for Ash to accept the facts, but you've held up you end of the bargain. It's time I do the same." He took a moment to try and gather his thoughts, before he spoke, "I didn't have much contact with Heero. No one really did. Ash almost seemed to force the friendship on Heero." It had been difficult to get Ash to speak of his time with Heero, and Dante didn't like to ask, he hated hurting his friend as speaking of Heero so clearly did.

"Ash spent a good deal of time watching out for Heero, trying to draw him out. There were certain times of the year where Heero would abuse alcohol, at any other time he'd never touch it." Dante had always wanted to know why it was Heero felt the need to drown himself in alcohol at certain times. He knew that Ash had tired on more than one occasion to discover what was bothering the Japanese man, but had never made any progress.

"What exactly do you mean by abusing?" John question, his voice seeming oddly concerned, as he watched Dante intently.

"He suffered alcohol poisoning twice, once Ash told me was not that severe the other time, the last time that Ash and I saw him, his heart actually stopped twice." He watched John's expression carefully seeing an odd mix of what he thought was horror and anger. "There were other times, not so bad as those two, but Ash told me thathe'd drink rye like water."

WMWMWMW

Ash stood outside the conference room door with both hands clenched into painfully tight fists, he wanted to go back in there, but he knew Dante wouldn't allow it. He didn't know what he had been expecting from this, but it hadn't been what he got. Somehow he felt cheated Had they really proven anything with what they said and showed? Was it possible that had not been Heero? Ash sighed angrily pushing himself off the hard wood door and began walking down the hall. It hurt so much to keep his hopes up, but he knew now short of seeing Heero's body, something that was no longer possible, he's never be able to accept his death.

The hall was empty as Ash walked towards the main doors at the other end. Several wood doors lined either side, leading to similar conference rooms like the one that he had just left. Striding through the doors at the end of the hall Ash found himself in an open space, a simple square room, with another set of doors across from where he now stood which would lead him into the rest of the agency. On either side of the open space was a door leading to both a men's and women's washrooms. He briefly considered splashing some cold water on his face in the hope that it might help cool his anger but someone coming through the doors caught his attention.

A young man sporting an incredibly long braid came walking into the open room, the expression on his face was relaxed, even pleasant, and he blinked in surprise when he saw Ash standing at the other side of the room.

WMWMWMW

Dante reached into his pocket withdrawing a data disc which he placed upon the table and slid it over to Une. "This is the best record that I have been able to put together of the people and places Heero frequented the most while he was with us." Une's small hand reached out to take the disc and nodded her thanks, "Also on that disc is a video file Ash stumbled upon a few days ago, we were unable to track it back to a source but it is directly related to Heero during the time he was missing."

Une's expression changed when she heard this, John couldn't quite say what he was looking at, but she quickly put the disc into the laptop and accessed the information. One the screen at the head of the room a poor image of Heero being branded began to play. "I'm not sure what this all means," Dante admitted, pulling his eyes away from the grainy image, "But Heero once had a brand similar to that on his chest, although we discovered it had been fake…Ash had no idea why he'd do something like that." The expressions he was seeing on their faces was not at all what he had been expecting, there was no shock as though this was the first they had seen of this, they were in fact looking rather pointedly at each other.

Une blinked realising he was watching them, "Will you give us a moment, Dante?" she requested politely.

"Of course," Dante replied standing slowly from the table and walking to the far side of the room to offer them a little privacy. He wondered just what it was that they needed to discuss, but was a patient man, and knew an answer would come in time.

WMWMWMW

Une looked to John feeling a shark of hopefulness at this new turn of events, "A member of the Inner Circle would not have just given us this."

"I agree," John nodded eyes glancing over to where Dante was patiently waiting, "How do you want to proceed now?"

"Dante's clearly a trust worthy man, and considering that the Inner Circle is centered on his colony it would help a great deal to have him on our side," not to mention Une very much wanted to be truthful with Dante, no more secrets.

John nodded his head at that "It's clear Ash cares a great deal for Heero, though I wonder that Heero hadn't spoken about him."

"Could be any number of reasons for that," Une slowly pushed her chair back for the table, "Do you think Heero could handle a few guests?"

WMWMWMW

Ash remained motionless as Duo walked closer to him. he felt frozen in place, here before him was one of the people Heero had wanted to be back with more than anything. The very same person Ash saw as the cause of Heero's death. His hands flexed at his side as he let his anger loose, he didn't want to fight the feeling any more he'd willingly let it overpower him, if he could avenge Heero's death.

"So, you must be Ash," he greeted his lips quirking up in a tiny smile.

That was the last thing Ash remembered seeing, he lunged at the former pilot rock hard fist catching Duo off guard right across the jaw. All Ash could hear was the pounding of his heard as he threw blind punches at the other man.

WMWMWMW

Une stood from the table along with John. Unplugging the laptop and taking it into her hands, she walked over to where Dante had continued to wait, and offered him a warm smile. "Considering what you've shown us, there's something I'd like to add," she opened the door, "If you'll come with me."

Dante took hold of the door for her and followed Une into the hall along with John, "What is it you want to show me?"

"Better that you see," Une said with a shake of her head, she stopped actually looked down the hall, "Where's Ash?"

WMWMWMW

Duo blocked Ash's attacks as quickly as they came. This sudden assault had caught Duo completely off guard, but it hadn't taken him long to gain an advantage. It was clear Ash had skills in a fight, but it was hard however to gage how good he really was when his punches were being driven by rage. "What the hell is this!" Duo shouted raising his forearm to deflect another punch aimed at his head. If Ash had heard him he didn't show any sign of it, so far Duo had not attacked back, he had remained on the defensive, but if this kept up he might just have to get rough. "Would you lay off!" Duo tried to get through to the guy again, as he threw him back, but it was clear: Ash was deaf to the world.

The former pilot was glad of one thing; that the room was empty, the last thing he wanted to deal with was trying to explain why this mad man was trying to kill him. Duo had originally come here hoping he might get a chance to meet Ash, but this wasn't at all what he had envisioned. Relena had told him a little of Ash when she had finally been able to remember all that had happened to her. Duo had been curious to actually meet the man who had kidnapped her. The American ducked a fast punch to his head only to have to bring his leg up to defend himself from a knee to his groin. This was getting out of hand, Duo's fist shot out with lightning fast precision knocking Ash back and allowing Duo to regain a strong footing.

This time when Ash charged at him, Duo used the man's momentum against him, throwing him to the ground, with a painful thud. Ash gasped as the breath was knocked from his body, Duo retained his grip on the arm he had used for the throw and quickly pined the other main to the floor with a painful arm bar. Through it all Ash continued to glare and struggle against the pain, though lacking a good deal of the strength he had possessed earlier.

"Ash!"

"Duo!"

Two voiced shouted at almost the exact same time, Duo was surprised he had even heard with the pounding of adrenalin in his ears. On the floor Ash winced signalling he too had not missed the disgruntled shout of his name. Duo released the other man turning in the direction his name had been called to see a livid Une glaring daggers at him, and equally angry Dante loomed over her his icy stare continuing to pin Ash to the floor. John followed behind the two of them, silently closing the door, an expression of surprise upon his face.

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing!" Une demanded folding her arms firmly.

Ash jumped to his feet fire in his eyes, "This bastard killed Heero, they all did!"

Duo jerked at that, both from the fact that they had indeed come so close to doing just that, and the maelstrom of emotions in Ash's voice. The former pilot looked at the other man, and realised something rather suddenly. At some point in the fight Ash's shirt had been torn open, exposing his chest, a chest unmarked by any brands. Duo returned his gaze to Une who was almost tapping her foot in impatience, the American calmly folded his arms in a similar manner, and relaxed his weight back to one leg, the picture of calm. "I was just establishing Ash's connections with the Inner Circle, I would've chosen a different method if I'd been given the chance…" he jerked his thumb in Ash's direction. "I officially state he has no brand, but he does have a wicked fast knee to the groin…" Duo shook his head remembering the near miss.

All eyes were on him, most appearing surprised but Une remained unimpressed, "A fact I could have told you had you asked," Une returned with a superior tone. Dante looked down at her with a questioning look, and Ash continue to fume where he stood a mere two feet from Duo. The American assumed the only thing holding Ash where he stood was the presence of Dante. "If you'll all come with me please," Une ordered and walked across the room to the other door Dante kept in step, placing a restraining hand one Ash's shoulder as he led his friend to the door.

Duo chose to walk a step or two behind with John, "What's happened?" he asked the old doctor.

"Dante and Ash gave us the video file you found a week ago," he kept his voice low as they walked through the halls of the agency, "Not something you'd expect the Inner Circle to divulge."

"So what…you're taking them to Heero?" he kept his voice equally low not wanting any to over hear.

John nodded his head, "Lady Une pointed out it would do a great deal of good to have Dante on our side," Duo couldn't deny that, having the head of the colony on their side couldn't possibly hurt. "Besides that, Ash has made it very clear how much he cares about Heero, I don't know how much time they actually spent together, but I'm glad he had someone looking out for him then."

Duo's eyes dropped to watch the tiled floor he walked across, the guilt he felt over his actions flared up. They should have been there for Heero, without question his closest friends should have been able to see his plans and lend him support. He looked up suddenly when a hand fell on his shoulder, and found John looking at him with an apologetic look in his eyes, "I'm sorry Duo, I didn't meant to make you feel that way."

He forced a smile and shook his head, "Don't worry about it," he quickened his pace a little noticing how much he and John had fallen behind. "It's not your fault," Duo stated.it was no one's fault but their own, something they were going to have to find a way to deal with one of these days.

John didn't say anything in response but his eyes looked unconvinced as he walked along side Duo into the elevator which would take them to the pilots floor of the agency. As short as the ride was Duo could lean against the tension that surrounded him, he felt the harsh glare of Ash's eyes watching his every move. Duo was grateful for Dante's presence, as the politician kept a restraining hand on his friends shoulder. The last thing he wanted was to try fighting off Ash in these closed quarters, even if it would show to Une that he had not been to blame for the first fight. Thankfully the elevator stopped and everyone walked out, all limbs attached and no new bruises to speak of.

Duo began to feel the buzz of excitement as they neared Heero's door, Une had decided on making this a surprise, which wasn't hard to believe. He didn't really think anyone would believe Heero was alive if they just walked up and told them. Duo tried to imagine how Ash might take the news, other than the strength of his fight to avenge a lost friend, he really had no idea what Ash's relationship to Heero had really been. The small group came to a stop outside Heero's door withUne in the lead, though at this point John had moved to stand directly in front of the door.

"I'm asking you now not to mention the video file that you showed to us, I'll explain more later on, John," she turned her attention to the old doctor who knocked sharply upon the door before swiping his card through the reader. As a group they filed into the room Duo brining up the rear, gasps of shock broke this silence that followed as Dante and Ash saw who it was lying in the bed before them.

Ash's expression did not stay surprised for long, it fast turned to anger as he rounded on Une and Duo, "What the hell did you do to him!" he demanded hands clenching into fists.

Duo planted his feet a little more firmly on the floor reading himself for an inevitable fight, his eyes flickered to Heero who still appeared to be asleep, and he could understand Ash's reaction. "Hey he's alive, you'd think you'd be grateful!" Duo threw back, keeping his voice relaxed not wanting to fuel the fire that was driving Ash.

"Alive but your prisoner! Not much of a trade!" he spat.

Dante kept his hands on Ash's shoulders while his eyes continually travelled to Heero's prone form, he looked as though he might just agree with his friend thankfully that didn't extend to trying to fight everyone in the room. Une was watching Heero through it all, waiting for the former pilot to wake and put Ash's mind at ease. His doctor had taken up a protective position besides the bed his stance clearly saying he wasn't about to let anything happen in here that might hurt Heero. Duo though the tension in the elevator had been thick, it was nothing compared to this.

WMWMWMW

Heero had woke groggily to the sound of someone knocking on his door, silently he had hoped it wasn't John. He really didn't feel like dealing with people at the moment, and even less like eating. He was a little surprised and curious when he heard what sounded like more than one person walking into his room, but that wasn't enough for him to rouse himself completely. His feelings of panic on having someone walk into his room had lessened a good deal now that his left hand was always close to if not holding the gun Trowa had given him.

The silence of his room was broken by a barrage of voices, but Heero was having difficulty making them out, he focused a little harder trying to catch some of the heated conversation. "Alive but your prisoner! Not much of a trade!" a voice spat harshly.

"I'm alright Ash…" Heero found himself mumbling still half asleep, Ash always did worry too much.

Heero's eyes shot open then, when he mind actually caught up to what he had been thinking, what was Ash doing in his room? Several pairs of eyes were watching him when his finally focused on the room around him, Ash stood at the foot of his bed, his expression an odd mix of surprise, relief and disbelief. Duo stood off to the side he offered Heero an apologetic smile, "Sorry we woke you."

John leaned down close to Heero, looking him in the eyes and resting a hand briefly on his shoulder, "I'll be back in later to give you something to eat." Heero gave a brief nod of his head, his eyes still looking at Ash, finding it hard to believe the man was actually standing in front of him. Dante too appeared to be finding this all hard to believe, his eyes flickered between Heero and Une who stood across the room.

"I'm glad to see you're feeling better," she said looking as though—at least to Heero's eyes—she didn't know quite what to say. This was the first time at least to Heero's recollection that she had been in to see him since his name had been cleared. He was doing a lot better now than he had been back then. She turned her attention to Dante a tiny smile lighting up her features, "I'll explain everything to you now Dante," she said motioning towards the door. The leader of the Free Born cast one last look at his friend before walking towards Une and leaving the room. Duo and John followed a few steps behind, and Heero found himself alone with the one man who had kept him alive the three years he had been away from his friends.

They silently watched each other Ash looked stunned, he hadn't moved or said a word since Heero had spoken. Heero for his part couldn't think of anything to break the silence with, he was still trying to piece together how Ash had come to be in his room. Finally Ash seemed snapped out of his daze, a laugh escaping him it was one of utter relief, "I thought you were dead!" the hazel eyed man walked to the chair besides Heero's bed and dropped down leaning his upper half onto the edge of the bed. "Damn…what happened to you?" he propped his head on his hand, and seeing him this close up Heero could see just how tired Ash actually looked.

Heero drew a slow breath taking a moment to organise his thoughts, where was he to begin? That Ash was sitting here was answer enough that he could tell the man everything from the very beginning. "Over three years ago I discovered an organisation known as the Inner Circle…" Ash sat silently watching him as Heero spoke, his expression changing now and again as something he heard made a previous incident understandable. As Heero came to more recent events his account became less detailed partly because his recollections were so very fuzzy still, and secondly he didn't want to add any fuel to the fire he had heard in Ash's voice by telling him his injuries had been caused by a friend.

Ash sat in silence for several moments after Heero had finished telling the entire story, it was a good deal to take in, and Heero could almost see Ash readjusting his view of his friend. "Well that answered almost every question I've ever had about you…" he said with a crooked smile, as he tired to take it all in stride.

"Almost?" Heero wondered aloud.

"The last time I saw you, you almost died…" he shook his head expression turning serious, "Hell technically you did die, twice!" he levelled Heero with a heavy stare, "You don't look that much better now…"

Heero rolled his eyes, "Thanks…" his tone was incredibly dry.

"What made you do it? Why did you take that route?" he was completely serious again, in fact his voice sounded somewhat hurt, as his eyes looked down.

A tired sigh escaped Heero, as he remembered back to that day, and just what he had witnessed take place, "I saw something I couldn't live with…" he told Ash not looking at his friend.

"What was it?" Ash prodded gently, "Does it still bother you now? I'd hate to think after all this time you'd try to take your life again…" he sounded truly worried.

Heero would have liked to put Ash's mind at ease, but it just wasn't something he was able to vocalise, "It's not an issue now," he was able to offer and he could see relief enter Ash's hazel eyes.

With that safely behind them Ash looked Heero over closely for what must have been the first time. There wasn't much he could actually see with the blankets covering Heero's thin body, and the former pilot knew he looked worlds better now than he had a few weeks back. He had managed to put on a little weight though his face was still gaunt or so he had been told, with no reflective surfaces around Heero had no idea what he actually looked like. "How are you doing?" he asked after several minutes his eyes studying Heero's face intently.

"I'm fine," Heero responded without thought, it was the same answer he had given a hundred times before, it was second nature by this point. It didn't matter how they phrased the question the answer was always the same. Though for John that wasn't good enough, and the old doctor had become pretty good at rephrasing his questions so he'd get a little more information. Or worse still he'd fill in his own blanks which usually have Heero dealing with more attention than he wanted. It was all done in an effort to get him to be more specific, a losing battle Relena had called it a while back.

Ash shook his head, "Alright, we're going to lay out some ground rules here," his voice had taken on its usual light hearted tone as he raised one hand fingers spread. "Answers you can't use…I'm fine, I'm alright," he ticked each off with a finger, "I'm Okay, or any variations of those vague useless answers. I want to actually know what's going on here," he dropped his arm down looking intently into Heero's eyes.

"John would be the one to talk to if you want the details," Heero said eyes looking away from his friend once more.

"Why can't I get them from you? I'm here now," Ash continued as always undaunted by the early notes of hostility in Heero's voice.

"Because I don't want to talk about it," he told his friend firmly, he didn't want to be thinking about how much recovery time was still ahead of him, or to be reminded of the disadvantage he was at in his present condition.

"Not talking about it won't make it go away," he pointed out with infuriating calm, and it felt to Heero as though he and Ash had not been separated by several months of time, Ash had so easily slipped into how he had been before all this. It struck him because the pilots had been unable to do this, then again Ash didn't carry the same burden the others did. He reached across Heero's body taking hold of his left hand, "How'd this happen?" he asked studying the scare that lined both the back of Heero's hand and his palm.

"Knife," Heero said darkly.

"Whose knife?" Ash was quick to want clarification, "Where, when and why? I want more info that just what did it, I could have guessed a knife just by looking at it."

"Does this all really matter?" Heero was unable to keep his frustration from showing in his voice.

"It does to me," Ash told him seriously.

Heero sighed again, he knew Ash wouldn't let this go, he would push for the answers he wanted, and now that he knew the whole truth of Heero's life these last few years, Heero felt he'd push harder. The former pilot thought about the injury, and he didn't like the memories it brought to the surface, his right hand hidden by the blankets flexed around the grip of the gun, reminding himself that he was no longer helpless. But the fact that he could defend himself against a physical attack didn't mean he could against the invisible, the nightmares and emotions he didn't know how to deal with. It was too late now though, Ash wasn't going to drop this, and he was already remembering it.

He didn't look at Ash as he began to speak, "It was done by a doctor. Why he did it? I wouldn't know, and you can't really ask him." Heero looked towards Ash but would not make eye contact with him, he didn't know what was in his eyes at the moment, and he didn't want further questions about this. Already he could almost feel Luc's weight resting down on him as he forced Heero's own hand to cut him. "He's dead," his voice was harsh, trying to make it clear to Ash this was not the right topic.

Through the corner of his eye Heero could see Ash mull over what he had been told, but Heero didn't think Ash was about to drop the subject. "Who killed him?" his friend asked slowly his hazel eyes boring into Heero, a gaze Heero had been under numerous times and had never thought twice about it. Now however he would have liked something between them, he felt exposed andif possible easy to read.

"The others," he ground out, knowing Ash would assume the other pilots.

"Ahh…" Ash breathed his eyes thankfully dropping away from Heero, then his head was up again, but he was looking over Heero towards the door, "How are things with them?" It was a careful topic change, and as grateful as Heero was that they were no longer talking about Luc, the other pilots was not entirely better. The tension he felt from them when they were with him, and how tentative they were when speaking to him just kept driving home how far away he was from what he really wanted.

"Fine," he responded in normal tones, forcing himself to look Ash in the eye, he didn't want his friend to think he was hiding something and poke around for more information. Nothing was going to solve the problems they faced except time. It would be easier if Heero had been able to stand and find them, instead of having to wait for his friends to come to him. But there was no reason to dwell on what couldn't be, at least not yet. hopefully things would be better by then, asHeero was reminded always of just how much time was still ahead of him.

"Nope," Ash smiled "Wrong answer, what did I say about 'fine'?" he asked leaning forward and dropped his chin down on the backs of his hands.

"You said I couldn't say _I_ was fine," Heero told him stressing 'I' as he looked somewhat smugly at Ash.

The other man straightened a little at that, "I did, didn't I…" he perked right up, "Well I'll just have to amend the rule, I don't want you using the words fine, alright, or okay to describe anything."

"You can't just make new rules," Heero contested willing to continue this so long as it kept him from subjects he'd rather avoid.

"It's not a new rule, I just amended an old one," Ash smiled proudly at him, but the expression slipped becoming sombre. "I don't know if it was just me, but I felt a great deal of tension in here with everyone around…" he ran a hand through his hair, "If you weren't try to avoid the conversation I'd say it was me, but since you are…" he trailed off as though to leave Heero an opening to explain what's been going on.

It was an opening Heero had no intention of taking up, why wasn't there something safe they could talk about? Some topic that was far away from the problems Heero had to face. "Look you don't want to say anything, then I'll just start guessing, I'm bound to strike close to home sometime," Ash broke the silence his patience clearly reaching it's limit. "I know how much you missed them," he continued leaning closer and speaking very seriously. Heero kept his eyes focused away from his friend but not really looking at anything in particular. "Remember in the hospital, I didn't really understand then, but I do now you were incredibly close to them, you missed them then, and I think you still do now."

"What's keeping you all apart?" he gave Heero a moment to make an answer but the former pilot remained silent. "They didn't know what you were doing? Didn't figure it out, they feel guilty that they didn't figure it out sooner? Is that it, guilt?" Heero retained his silence, and to his relief heard a knock upon the door seconds before John walked into the room carrying Heero's meal.

"Sorry to interrupt," he said as he came to a stop besides Heero's bed standing directly opposite to where Ash sat.

Ash made as though to get up, "Do you need me to leave?" he asked eyes flickering between John and Heero.

John glanced briefly to Heero, "I don't, I'm just here to give Heero a meal," he said putting the container down onto a table which he swung over Heero's bed.

Heero could feel Ash's eyes watching him, and he tiltedhis head to the side with a slight shrug of his shoulders. He wasn't going to ask his friend to leave over this, as much as he didn't want to appear any weaker than he already was, sending him away would have just been worse. As Ash settled back in his chair John opened the container and laid the spoon beside it before he turned his attention to raising the bed up so it would be easier on Heero.

"You call that food?" Ash questioned sceptically leaning forward to take a sniff of the odd mushy substance, "Doesn't looked all that edible to me."

John smiled in his kind way, "It's incredibly healthy, and easy to digest, just the sort of thing a recovering person needs."

The former pilot looked at the spoon on the table before him, and willed his left hand to move to pick it up. The left side of his body had sustained the least amount of damage, and although he kept the gun by his right side Heero experienced less pain if he used his left arm. Reaching out a shaking hand Heero took hold of the spoon and proceeded to dip it into the food. As much as he outwardly didn't care if Ash was in here, the former pilot couldn't let himself look any weaker. He needed to be able to show, not only Ash but himself that he could do this. John said nothing on seeing what Heero was attempting to do, only moved the table a little closer so Heero wouldn't have so far to go. The time Heero had spent with John was enough to tell him that this was more pleasing to the old doctor than he was outwardly letting on. Much to Heero's relief John seemed to know that the Japanese man didn't want a fuss made.

Instead John moved a little further down the bed and took a seat, his brown eyes watching Ash, "I'm sorry I had to lie to you," he said honestly bringing Ash's eyes to him and leaving Heero alone to continue struggling with his food. His hand was shaking visibly but at least he was actually getting the food into his mouth. He was surprised at how good it felt to take back even just this small amount of his independence.

"That's alright," Ash forgave without hesitation, "Heero explained it all to me, doesn't take a genius to figure out why you had to do what you did." John smiled in relief at that whilehe was subtly keeping half an eye on Heero while directing most of his attention to Ash. "So how's he actually doing? I tried asking him but he's as always not very forth coming."

Heero silently wondered what John's answer would be, would the doctor speak as though he weren't laying right there listening? "As well as can be expected, the x-rays I showed you earlier were his."

"So everything you said then was true?"

"All except the part about Heero dying," John affirmed with a nod of his head.

The former pilot would have liked to know just what information about him had been given out without them even telling him about it. Heero's attention turned more completely to his hand which was at this point shaking so hard he could no longer hold the spoon. Without a word Ash moved from his chair to sit on the bed and took hold of the utensil, "You know I'm really surprised, I've never seen Heero so relaxed with a doctor present in the room," he said casting his friend a cheeky smile as he helped Heero eat while keeping half his attention on John.

The old doctor moved from his sitting position to stand closer to the head of the bed, so it was easier for him to speak with Ash. "Just my natural charm I guess," John smiled down at Heero earning a glare in return as the Japanese man finished off the last of his meal. "You look exhausted Heero you should really get some sleep," John said with all seriousness pressing the button which would lower Heero's bed back.

Heero just nodded his head mutely, he felt exhausted and he hated to think that it was simply because he had tried to feed himself. As much as that had worn away at his strength he had been awoke when Ash and the others came in, and even then he had felt as though he could use a little more sleep. He let his eyes fall closed feeling comfortable with having Ash in the room as he let himself drop into a dreamless sleep.

Thanks for Reading!

**Checkmate**:

"A couple of weeks back Une was contacted by Dante who wanted to get some closure for Ash who was not handling the news of you death all that well." His steady gaze watched Heero the entire time, "I was asked to explain to Ash how you had died, and in return they were to give us any information they had on the time you spent with them. I have to tell you a lot of us are curious to know how you spent you time, and not just because we hoped it might yield some further connections to the Inner Circle."

"You know, you could have just asked…" Heero told him bluntly, it bothered him that they had been searching for information about him behind his back.

"Perhaps, but you haven't been feeling all that talkative this last little while, and as things stands we've already spoken with Ash and Dante, so there's really no going back." Something about this was really bothering John, but he had yet to come out and say it, which was annoying Heero, he wanted to know the point of this conversation. "What I wanted to ask you about was, your infrequent abuse of alcohol," John finally told him.

Heero's eyes fell closed, _damn_ he thought darkly, if he could have kept anything from them it would have been that. "It's not that serious," he said emotionlessly opening his eyes again to look at John.

"Not that serious!" John was shocked but he kept his voice down, "How can you say that? You suffered Alcohol Poisoning twice, once almost dying from it, that sounds pretty serious to me!"

_Three times actually_ Heero thought to himself remembering the very first time, it hadn't been that serious but he had been sick from it. It wasn't however, something he was going to admit to John. Releasing a pent up sigh he looked directly into John's worried brown eyes, "Is it really that unexpected considering the situation?" he asked him pointedly. "I was hated by everyone, had no friends," Ash had been a friend but he hadn't been able to understand exactly what was happening. "I was in deep cover for three years, you expect anyone to get through that without a couple of issues?"

John seemed to think that over for a time, "I guess not…" he admitted finally, "You can't blame me for being concerned though, I'd really rather not see this as your normal way of dealing with problems."

"Sometimes that's the only solution there is," Heero spoke quietly remembering the nightmares that he couldn't escape any other way. He had been spared them for the moment, when he was sleeping he was either too drugged to dream or not sleeping deeply enough. Heero wasn't looking forward to the first night they returned, alcohol wasn't always the answer, but when nothing else worked, at least it was something to turn to.

"Why Heero? I won't accept that," John said with a shake of his head.

Heero wanted to tell him it wasn't his place to accept it or not, but he knew what John was talking about, for most people there were other options safer choices. "Because I won't talk to people," there was a clear note of finality in his voice, as much as he was talking to John was more than he had ever envisioned himself ever opening up to someone.

"Will you talk to me?" Heero looked away, that wasn't a question he wanted to or was able to answer. "You know I won't pretend like nothing's wrong," John continued softly. Heero didn't respond to that either, he didn't have to, he already knew that's what John was like. The old doctor gently patted Heero's arm, "Get some sleep," he stood and moved towards the door. Heero watched him go in silence before closing his eyes, sleep was not hard for him to find, his body was still tired and the pain medication had a tendency to make him sleepy. Once more Heero's mind dropped into the blackness.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	38. Checkmate

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Hurray for another chapter out after not too long (smiles)

**kie**: I'm so glad you think these chapters are coming out lightning fast (smiles) I feel like they take forever to come out for you. Dorothy eh? Sorry she hasn't had a role in this story, and I doubt I'll be adding her. She's a difficult character to write, and right now I have enough complicated ones (smiles) Thanks for the review!

**lil'demon**: Wow! I hadn't thought of it that way yet (laughs) writer's cramp? Nope I can almost write for an entire day straight. Writer's block on the other hand can be a problem, that's why I have neekabe (smiles) she can make the block go away! I agree, I really hate doing character introductions, they always sound so awkward, a nice fight solves all of life's problems. Thanks for reviewing.

**darthchibichibi**: Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks for reviewing.

**Sakura Blossom-Cilla-85**: (smiles) Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

**Keeroshu**: Heero's position makes it awfully hard to keep him in character, but hopefully we'll make it through (smiles) slowly but surely everything's going to get better. Thanks so much! I hope you enjoy this chapter.

**TheEvilAshleyness**: Hyper is good…I could use hyper right now…but I'm exhausted after my brother's wedding (smiles) little sleep is fun! Thanks for reviewing!

**Starcat3579**: Thanks for review! I hope you enjoy the fun that's going to ensue with this chapter.

**Mini Nicka**: Thanks for the review! More Heero and Relena moments are coming, but they take a little time to write, slowly they'll become more frequent. Thanks again!

**ghostreader**: Thank you so much! I really enjoyed writing Ash and Duo's first meeting (smiles) it seemed so appropriate. Actually Relena will learn about Heero's brushes with alcohol poisoning, a first hand experience….but I've said too much….it won't be for quite some time thought. Thanks for reviewing.

**Kalorna**** Enera**: Aww! Did you think it was a little too short? Sorry, I've been trying to keep them at an average length but some of them run a little long….or is that just right? (smiles) There's so much left to cover in this story, with luck I can have Heero back on his feet relatively soon, I'm working on it now actually. Thank you very much for the review! I hope you like this chapter!

**L.A.UNE**: Thanks for the review! I hope this didn't take to long! I'm really trying to speed things up here (smiles). Hope you enjoy!

**D3**: Big brother (smiles) I hadn't thought of it that way! What an excellent idea! Thanks for the review!

**LovesAngel**: Thing's are going to be lightening up a bit for these next few chapter, you deserve a little joy after all I've put you through (smiles). I'd say I'm giving you a little breather before one of the many climaxes (laughs) I can't actually say how long this will be, but there's still a lot to cover, that much I know! I hope you continue to enjoy this story!

**rayshine**: Thank you! I've really enjoyed writing Ash (smiles) he's so much easier than the other's right now. Thanks again!

**miroku****-has-darkness**: Thanks so much!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing!

**Checkmate**

Ash looked down at his sleeping friend, still feeling dazed that he was standing in this room looking at the very man he had thought was dead. He had hardly recognised Heero when he had walked through the door. Heero had always been a lean, solidly builtman, but still very small.He wasn't even half the man he used to be, and it was obvious to Ash that it bothered Heero a great deal. There were new scars on his face and like his hand, Ash wondered how they had happened. He hadn't really been thinking clearly enough back when he saw the x-rays to notice all the injuries John had been pointing out. He wondered what all the blankets were hiding from his view.

After placing the now empty container on the counter John motioned for Ash to take a seat at the far end of the room, where a plush couch and two comfortable looking arm chairs sat around a coffee table. Ash did as instructed, taking a seat in one of the armchairs while John dropped down across from him on the couch. "What exactly is wrong with him?" Ash asked quietly, his hazel eyes gazing in Heero's direction.

"He's been laid up for a long time, and his muscles have atrophied, right now we're just focusing on getting him to put on a little weight." John too looked towards the bed, and Ash could see in the old man's eyes just how much Heero had come to mean to him. It amazed him: he had watched Heero interact with several doctors during the time he was with the Japanese man, and it had never been anywhere close to this. "His injuries are healing well, but it's going to take a lot of physical therapy to get him back on his feet again."

Ash could only imagine what sort of mood that must have put Heero in, knowing how far away you were from where you used to be. After being so independent to now have to rely on others for every little thing, it was no wonder Heero seemed put out, but that wasn't it entirely. There was something more to it all, and Ash hoped to be able to find out. "Is it hard for you to see him like this?" John asked him suddenly.

Ash blinked, he hadn't even realised his eyes had returned to Heero, "A little," he began forcing his attention to John. "I've seen him in similar situations before, but never to this extent."

"I can tell you honestly he looks a lot better now than he did a month ago," John himself looked relieved even as he said it.

A silence fell between them neither awkward nor particularly comfortable. Ash felt it might be a good time to ask his questions about Heero. "Can you tell me why Heero's not acting like his normal self?" John raised an eyebrow at that and Ash realised that there could be any number of reasons, but there was a chance that John didn't know what normal was. "I spent three years with Heero, times like these where I'd be poking and prodding him he'd have no trouble telling me to go to hell," Ash shook his head, "But he wouldn't today."

The old doctor appeared to consider the question. "The only thing I can think of is he's been having to be really careful what he says around the others. It's all really…" his eyes searched out the ceiling as he tried to find the right word.

"Ridiculous," Ash offered, "I know just how much he missed them while he wasaway, why is it so hard for all of them now?"

John sighed heavily, "A lot of things were said and done before they realised what the actually truth of the situation was." He folded his hands before him, "It's been hard for all of them to deal with the guilt of their actions."

Ash leaned back in the plush chair, once more looking at Heero, "I guess I'll just have to do something about that…" that drew a smile onto John's face.

"Good luck to you," he said with a quiet laugh, but he very quickly became serious again, "You have no fear prodding Heero to the breaking point?"

"Apparently I lack any sense of self preservation." Ash said dryly.

John laughed softly, "You might be able to do a great deal of good. His patience is slipping, and I don't blame him for it. The problem is he just keeps all his frustration inside."

"Heero never was an expressive person," Ash had been forced to fight tooth and nail for anything from his friend, and Heero had soon learned that no amount of threats would throw Ash off the trail.

"No, I realise that," John agreed leaning forward in his seat, "But if you might be able to get him to vent, it could make relations with the others easier. It's bad enough when they have to try and deal with their own guilt, they don't need him frustrated at the same time," John looked sadly towards the bed, and Ash wondered how this relationship had formed.

"I'll do the best I can," he promised now that he knew Heero was alive Ash fully intended to do all he could for his friend even if John had not asked him. "Tell me," his words brought John's attention back, "How did he come to trust you?"

"Heero's not a big fan of doctors, I take it?" John asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Or anyone for that matter," Ash returned with a crooked smile.

John chuckled at that, it only lasted for a second however, "I entered his life when he really needed someone to believe him…" he trailed off and seemed to be searching for the right word. "I'm not sure why he puts up with me now that his friends understand what really happened, I'm just glad he does. I suppose I'm a little too emotionally involved now to walk away."

"All those months of thinking he was dead…" Ash began raking a hand through his hair, "I'm just relieved to know he had people like you around him." He had never wanted to believe that Heero had actually died, but he had seen his friend so close to that edge before as time continued to pass it had begun to look more real, although still something he'd have never been able to fully accept.

The old doctor smiled and shifted to the edge of his seat preparing to stand, "You and Dante will be on Earth for the entirety of the conference, so I'd suggest you get some sleep so you can come see Heero tomorrow."

Ash nodded his head slowly, having been slowly feeling more and more tired as the adrenaline from his meeting with both Duo and Heero began to wear off. As Dante had pointed out earlier that evening he hadn't been sleeping properly, he thought tonight might be the first night he actually slept well. Reaching into his pocket and removing a pen, Ash took hold of a pad of paper and wrote down a number before pushing it towards John. "That's my cell number, if anything happens to him give me a call?"

"I don't think there's really anything to worry about at moment," John said taking the sheet of paper off the pad, "But I'll keep this close at hand just in case," he assured with a smile.

"Thanks," Ash stood and reached out a hand, which John accepted as he too came to his feet.

"Have a good night," John bade as Ash slowly walked towards the door.

He came to a stop at the foot of Heero's bed just looking at his friend etching his image into his mind. It wasn't that he wanted to forever remember this Heero that was laying on the bed before him, Ash just wanted to assure himself that the Japanese man was indeed alive, and this wasn't some dream that he'd wake from. Offering John a wave and a smile, Ash finally was able to walk out the door reluctantly leaving Heero behind.

Ash stood in the hallway for a few minutes wondering where Dante had gone off too, and just how he was supposed to find his way out of here. When Une had led him to this portion of the agency, he had not really been focusing on the details of how they had got here. Sighing Ash just walked back towards the elevator figuring he could wander the halls and at some point either find his way out or someone who could point him in the right direction.

"Ash, hold up!" a familiar sounding voice called from behind him, and Ash turned to see Duo striding up behind him.

The sight of the braided man brought back the memories of their first meeting, and Ash dropped his eyes as Duo came close. "Look…I'm sorry about earlier…"

"Don't worry about it, you're just keeping up the usual way we make friends," Duo commented dryly with a tiny smile on his face. "C'mon I'll show you the way out, Dante's already left for the night." Ash followed behind the American relieved that his earlier actions could be so easily forgotten, so now he could focus on helping Heero get better, and helping his friends ease up around him. Already his tired mind was thinking of ways to do just that.

WMWMWMW

Heero rose from the blackness of sleep to be greeted with pain, a sharp pounding in his head, behind his right eye, and a burning fire in his chest every time he took a breath. Laying there feeling trapped within a motionless body Heero hoped the pain would lessen a little so that he might be able to take a fuller breath, and think a little clearer. Opening his eyes Heero winced at the lights even dimly lit as they were they felt like the stabbed directly into the back of his brain. A shadow loomed over him shielding his eyes and offering him some much needed relief. Internally he jumped at the sudden presence, but managed to remain outwardly uncaring, a fact he was rather proud of as he had almost immediately recognised who it was standing over him.

The old doctor settled down on the bed beside him, and as Heero's eyes slowly focused he could see a caring smile on John's face. It was still to this day an expression Heero was not accustom to seeing, he wondered if he'd ever become used to someone caring about him. "You should still be asleep," he said quietly, gently taking hold of Heero's wrist to check his pulse.

Heero didn't say anything in response just tried to shift to find a more comfortable position, but nothing was less painful now. "Heero are you in a lot of pain?" John asked his concern clear in his voice.

"I'm alright," Heero responded remaining still eyes half closed to block out the dim hallow of light around John's form. It was second nature to brush off how he was actually feeling, so much so that he no longer even really thought about it, the answer just slipped out. Ash would be in for some frustration when next he came in asking how Heero was doing.

"You're lying," John told him quietly, "Even if I couldn't see it on your face when you woke, you're pulse is racing." He leaned in closer appearing to try and better see Heero's eyes, "Why not just say so?"

"Why ask if you already knew?" Heero deflected the question with one of his own, and turned his head away.

"Because I'd like to think you'd be able to admit your pain to me," his voice sounded hurt, and Heero actually felt a pang of regret at having caused it. The realisation rather shocked him, never before had he really cared for the feelings of others, besides Relena's but even her feelings he had been able to force himself to ignore, as he had done that November day over three years ago. John didn't say any more, but rather sighed and stood. Heero watched him from half opened eyes, as the old doctor prepared a syringe with some form of painkiller inside. He administered the drug with professional ease, and returned to his seat waiting for it to take effect.

Heero could almost feel an immediate change in his body, the fire in his chest slowly abated and he was able to draw a fuller breath without feeling like he was being stabbed a dozen times. The pain in his head also lessened but did not disappear but at least he was better able to look around him and see John. "Heero, there's something I've wanted to ask you since I met with Ash earlier," John's expression was more serious that Heero remembered ever seeing it before, and he was fairly sure he wasn't going to like the direction of this conversation.

"What brought him here?" that was a question of his own he had wanted answered, and if it put off what John had on his mind, perhaps even help him forget than it was a good thing.

"A couple of weeks back Une was contacted by Dante who wanted to get some closure for Ash. He was not handling the news of your death all that well." His steady gaze watched Heero the entire time, "I was asked to explain to Ash how you had died, and in return they were to give us any information they had on the time you spent with them. I have to tell you a lot of us are curious to know how you spent you time, and not just because we hoped it might yield some further connections to the Inner Circle."

"You know, you could have just asked…" Heero told him bluntly, it bothered him that they had been searching for information about him behind his back.

"Perhaps, but you haven't been feeling all that talkative this last little while, and as things stands we've already spoken with Ash and Dante, so there's really no going back." Something about this was really bothering John, but he had yet to come out and say it, which was annoying Heero. He wanted to know the point of this conversation. "What I wanted to ask you about was, your infrequent abuse of alcohol," John finally told him.

Heero's eyes fell closed, _damn_ he thought darkly, if he could have kept anything from them it would have been that. "It's not that serious," he said emotionlessly opening his eyes again to look at John.

"Not that serious!" John was shocked but he kept his voice down, "How can you say that? You suffered Alcohol Poisoning twice, once almost dying from it. That sounds pretty serious to me!"

_Three times actually_ Heero thought to himself remembering the very first time, it had not been that serious but he had been sick from it. It wasn't however, something he was going to admit to John. Releasing a pent up sigh he looked directly into John's worried brown eyes, "Is it really that unexpected considering the situation?" he asked him pointedly. "I was hated by everyone," Ash had been a friend but he hadn't been able to understand exactly what was happening. "I was in deep cover for three years, you expect anyone to get through that without a couple of issues?"

John seemed to think that over for a time, "I guess not…" he admitted finally, "You can't blame me for being concerned though, I'd really rather not see this as your normal way of dealing with problems."

"Sometimes that's the only solution there is," Heero spoke quietly remembering the nightmares that he couldn't escape any other way. He had been spared them for the moment, when he was sleeping he was either too drugged to dream or not sleeping deeply enough. Heero wasn't looking forward to the first night they returned, alcohol wasn't always the answer, but when nothing else workedat least it was something to turn to.

"Why Heero? I won't accept that," John said with a shake of his head.

Heero wanted to tell him it wasn't his place to accept it or not, but he knew what John was talking about, for most people there were other options, safer choices. "Because I won't talk to people," there was a clear note of finality in his voice, as much as he was talking to John was more than he had ever envisioned himself ever opening up to someone.

"Will you talk to me?" Heero looked away, that wasn't a question he wanted to or was able to answer. "You know I won't pretend like nothing's wrong," John continued softly. Heero didn't respond to that either, he didn't have to, he already knew that's what John was like. The old doctor gently patted Heero's arm, "Get some sleep," he stood and moved towards the door. Heero watched him go in silence before closing his eyes, sleep was not hard for him to find, his body was still tired and the pain medication had a tendency to make him sleepy. Once more Heero's mind dropped into the blackness.

WMWMWMW

Ash rode the elevator alone, holding a box in his hands, and trying to fight back the need to yawn. It was early evening of the next day. Ash had been taken to his rooms in the palace by Duo the night before, but had found it almost impossible—despite his exhaustion—to sleep. His mind had been racing. Heero was alive, and that was all he could think about until close to four in the morning. He had slept some but it was off and on, way more frustrating that restful. Ash had spent some time speaking with Dante before his friend had to leave for the conference, but that had still left him with most of the day to kill. He very much wanted to go see Heero, but thought his friend deserved a more coherent person, so he had attempted to get a little more sleep.

Stepping off the elevator Ash strode towards Heero's room, pleased that he had been able to pay attention enough last night to remember how to get back. Duo had also given him the code to Heero's door, with a strong reminder to knock first. As much as Ash thought that was just common courtesy, he knew there was something else behind it, but had not been given the chance to ask. Shifting the box he was carrying to one arm Ash knocked on the door before punching the code. Heero was watching the door as Ash walked into the room, the sight of him was still a shock to Ash but he kept it from his face.

"Even' Heero, how're you feeling?" he asked with a smile as he walked into the room placing his package down on the table that could swing over Heero's bed.

Heero opened his mouth quickly most likely to give his usual answer, but Ash smiled widely, "I'm in the room, my rule stands," he waited eagerly to see if Heero would play along, and if so what his answer would be.

"No problem," Heero said after a moment looking rather pleased with himself.

Ash heaved a sigh, "Looks like I'm going to have to amend the rule again…" he dropped down into the chair, watching as Heero rolled his eyes. "Hey I'm a stubborn man, and when I ask a question I want a useful answer."

Heero shook his head, "It's the truth."

"And you're a liar," Ash retorted with a laugh.

"What's in the box?" Heero asked, smoothly changing the subject his eyes looking at the indicated item.

Ash smiled happily, pulling the table over the bed so it was right in front of Heero, "This would be a gift." His smile only widened when he saw the surprise on Heero's face, and he reached out to open the box, and pull out what was kept inside. "It's a chess board, I thought we could play a game or two," Ash removed the fancy-looking box and unfolded it, revealing the actual game board from either side he removed a small drawer where the pieces were kept. "White or black?" he asked moving the board a little closer to Heero.

The Japanese man just shrugged his eyes still looking impressed and pleased, "Alright then, we'll do this the old fashioned way." Ash reached into each drawer and removed a pawn, placing his hands behind his back, Ash tossed the pawns back and forth until he didn't know which was which, and then held his hands out before him, "Pick one."

"Left hand," Heero said not moving, Ash complied opening his hand to reveal the back pawn, he placed it upon the board along with his own and proceeded to set it up. He hoped Heero would try and move his own pieces during the game, it would be good for his arm.

Setting up the last few pieces Ash moved to sit on the edge of Heero's bed pushing the table to within easy reach. "Do you remember the first time we played this game?" he asked watching Heero whose cobalt eyes had been studying the chest board.

Heero looked up at Ash then, his head ever so slowly shaking, "No…" he drew the word out as though he were still trying to remember.

Ash laughed, "Can't say I'm surprised you were a little far gone that night," that drew a raised eyebrow from his friend so Ash decided to clarify. "It happened after a night of heavy drinking," on Heero's part that was, but there was no reason to point that out, "You were being difficult didn't want to do what was good for you so I suggested a challenge." As Ash spoke he took hold of one of the pawn and moved it forward, the game was on.

"The deal was for each piece of yours I captured, you had to drink some water," Ash smiled at the sceptical look on his friends face as Heero brought his unsteady left arm up to move a piece of his own, he chose a knight. Ash wonder silently why Heero never used his right, he was right handed after all, perhaps that arm hidden beneath the blankets was more battered than his left, which was just sporting that scar. "You weren't that keen on the idea, so I sweetened the deal a little, for every piece of mine that you caught I'd take a shot of vodka," he chuckled softly making his next move.

"Who won?" Heero asked moving a pawn, before resting his arm back on the table so he wouldn't have so far to go for the next time. He was doing very well so far, Ash watched through the corner of his eyes as Heero's hand flexed on the table like he as trying to loosen it up, or get more blood to flow to it.

"I did," he said with a cheeky smile, before Heero could ask how Ash explained "You were so far gone already you didn't even notice I was taking shots of water same as you."

Heero rolled his eyes, "Who won the game?"

Ash opened his mouth to answer but stopped thinking back, "I think it somehow managed to be a draw…" he laughed resting his head on his left arm which he propped on the table, "Doesn't really matter now, I got what I wanted."

The Japanese man just shook his head, but Ash thought he saw a ghost of a smile touch his lips as he did. A knock on the door broke the few seconds of tentative silence that had fallen over the room, and Ash turned towards the door to watch a Chinese man walk through it, carrying a similar container John had the night before. Ash recognised the man as Chang Wufei though he had never been formally introduced. Wufei's onyx eyes took in the sight before him, and he immediately looked pleased as he crossed over to Heero's bedside, appearing to be more interested in examining the board that his friend laying in the bed.

He looked up suddenly blinking at Ash, before a neutral expression took over his face and he extended a hand to Ash, "You must be Ash."

The hazel eyed man smiled accepting the hand, "And you would be Chang Wufei."

"Just Wufei will do," the Chinese man corrected.

Ash nodded his head at that as he captured a pawn from the board and placed it off to the side casting a pleased smile Heero's way before he returned his attention to Wufei. He had noticed something almost the minute the Chinese man had walked into the room, he was not as tense as Duo had been. It made Ash wonder why it was different for him, he doubt it was just because Wufei was a stronger man, all the pilots had been strong both during the war and after. Perhaps he'd be able to find out if Wufei hung around for a while.

"I've brought your food," Wufei said putting the container down on the edge of the table.

Heero's dark eyes glanced towards if but only for a second, "Not hungry," he said simply as he moved his knight and captured a pawn of his own.

"A good thing I didn't ask if you were, wouldn't you say?" he questioned dryly. The Japanese man didn't respond to that just watched the chess board waiting for his turn.

"We can pause the game if you want." Ash offered, watching his friend closely.

Heero's eyes flickered up to Ash before returning to the board, "I don't."

Ash glanced between the two men, feeling a tension forming but it wasn't the same as had been there with Duo. Wufei planted his feet, looking to Ash and just nodded his head, "Don't worry he knows I'm not leaving until he's eaten." Wufei's expression was firm, and Ash found himself liking the Chinese man, this was very much the attitude he would have had, had Heero been in his care. Wufei strode around the bed to the chair Ash had vacated awhile before and dropped down into it, watching the two of them in a relaxed manor.

Heero looked less than pleased but he said nothing not looking away from the chess game, "Can I ask how you two first met?" Wufei inquired after a couple of silent moments of observation.

A smile broke out on Ash's face as he looked first to the Chinese man and then to Heero, "Do you want to tell the story?" he asked receiving a glare for his troubles, but he had seen enough of Heero's glares to know there was no fire behind it. "Well," he said turning his attention to Wufei, "The first time I saw Heero was in a bar, he was sitting in the very back glaring death at the world." Ash tilted his head towards Heero, and nodded "Much like he's doing now."

That drew a chuckle from Wufei, "It's your move," Heero pointed out calmly.

Ash blinked, "It is?" he smiled apologetically and picked up one of his pieces, seemingly at random, and moved it before turning his attention back to Wufei. "No one was going anywhere near him, so I decided to…I think I was a little drunk at the time, so that probably helped." This time the chuckle actually came from Heero, as the Japanese man slowly shook his head. "He hadn't much been in the mood for talking so I took his glares as responses, I'd rate them as they came and decide where to go from there." Ash smiled fondly at the memory, he had had no idea at the time just how much baggage Heero had been carrying, just what all he had actually been getting himself into. Looking back and knowing all that he did now, and all that he had had to endure Ash knew he would have approached that silent hurting man in a heartbeat.

"The job Heero had on the colony put him into almost direct contact with Dante, at least through me," Ash continued splitting his attention between the man he was talking to and the game he was attempting to win. "It didn't take long for us to realise that Heero had more talents than just creating software and electronic devices, he helped on several occasions to complete minor missions given out by Dante."

Wufei's expression was pleased as his gaze switched between the two of them, and even Heero looked as though he had relaxed some. Ash could almost say Heero was enjoying the conversation. Ash took hold of one of Heero's bishops and placed it along with the others he had captured. so far the game was even, and Heero was still working at moving his pieces on his own, a fact which pleased Ash tono end. "So how did you meet Heero?" Ash returned the question.

"Hn," Wufei leaned back in the chair crossing his arms over his chest, "'Fraid my stories not nearly so interesting, I spent most of the war fighting alone, I think the longest time we spent together before we all joined forces was when we had both been caught by OZ." A rather evil smile touched upon his features then, "That doesn't mean I don't have my fair share of fun stories about him, fighting with, against," he smiled a little "Around each other."

Ash blinked at that feeling as though something in the back of his mind had been triggered by something in what Wufei had said, it was something he had heard about in the news. Chang Wufei had been shot twice by an unknown assailant, Heero had appeared back on the colony with a bullet in his shoulder. Ash rubbed at his temple, "I take it this shooting each other is a regular thing?" he asked surprisingly dryly

"We try to keep it as infrequent as possible," Wufei corrected in a disturbingly offhand way looking completely serious as he did.

Ash was sure his expression was stunned. "Just for special occasions" Heero said quietly, and looked at Wufei a bright light in his eyes as though something had just occurred to him.

"What sort of a messed up friendship is this?" Ash shook his head, he had thought the relationship he had with Heero was weird but it was nothing compared to this.

Heero shrugged his left shoulder, "It's your move, and you're in check."

"What?" Ash looked at the board, "When did that happen?" he had been watching the game with as much of his attention that he could spare, but Heero's attack had managed to slip pass his notice. Ash tried to focus a little more on the game, if only for a moment, but his thoughts kept turning over what he had been told and the look on Heero's face. It occurred to him that despite what might have happened between this group of friends over the last few years they had potentially been through worse, and there was no reason why they wouldn't be able to get over it in time. Ash studied Heero's face, his friend was watching the board waiting for Ash to move, and he wondered if that was what had struck Heero. He doubted asking would get him an answer.

"Ash isn't your real name," Wufei said breaking the silence again, onyx eyes studying Ash intently.

Ash smiled a little at that. "No, it's not," he used it so much often he found himself forgetting.

"We figured that was the case when our searches couldn't turn up anyone with any variation of that name that matched your description," Wufei commented with a half smile. "What is your real name?" he asked cocking his head to one side.

"Ummm…" Ash gave a small laugh, "Can we just leave it at Ash?"

That only made Wufei more curious, his gaze turned to Heero, "Do you know?"

"Never cared," Heero replied without interest, his cobalt eyes settling on Ash, "Check."

"Damn," Ash shook his head, he'd lost this game at some point, something he didn't intend to do again. "I will win one with you sober," he said seriously, drawing a look of question from Wufei, and a smirk from Heero.

WMWMWMW

Heero lay on his bed feeling restless, unable to sleep, but not in a position to do anything else other than lay there staring at nothing. He had really enjoyed the time Ash had spent in his room along with Wufei earlier that day. It had been a welcomed change and distraction from the usual tediousness. Heero had won the game of chess, and in doing so had really left himself no other option but to eat the food Wufei had brought. Not feeling at all hungry Heero had focused more of his attention on the game of chess Wufei and Ash played, just enjoying the playful banter he had missed for so long. Ash had fit right in, as though he had been with them through it all, he hoped it would be the same with the others.

A very soft knock on the door brought Heero back to the boring present and he watched as the metal door slid aside revealing Trowa who quietly walked in. He had been coming frequently during the nights, Heero had been able to give Trowa John's usual schedule of appearances so that Trowa could avoid being seen. It was the way Heero wanted it, even if it didn't mean anything in the long run, he had a little control he was the only one who knew Trowa was coming.

"How long have you been awake?" Trowa ask walking deeper into the room.

Heero's eyes didn't look at the clock but rather the day calendar, John had been in at midnight to change it to the eleventh of June, "A while," he said finally, it had been roughly an hour since then.

"You should get some sleep," the former pilot pointed out lowering himself into the chair preparing himself to just be there, standing guard over his friend.

"Not tired," he countered in all honestly, had he been able to get up, he probably would have been training or at the very least pacing across the spacious room. It stung a little deeper now that he was unable to do just that.

"I'm sure John would have been able to give you something…" Trowa ventured though by the sound of his own voice he already knew what Heero's answer to that would be.

"I don't want that," Heero confirmed with a sigh.

Trowa leaned forward in the chair, "I'll work with you for a little while, but one way or another you're going to have to get some sleep tonight."

He wanted to protest that, tell Trowa he didn't intend to take orders, but he knew if he disagreed Trowa would just sit there. Right now anything was better than nothing, so he nodded his head in agreement. Trowa gave his head a quick nod and stood from his seat, walking back around the bed he pulled the blankets away from Heero's left leg. Reaching down he gently lifted the limb and began rotating Heero's ankle carefully working the stiffness from the joint. He had been doing this off and on for a few nights working each joint then applying a little pressure to the leg asking Heero to push back as much as he could.

It was an incredibly slow process, but it was all Heero could do at the moment, and it felt good to even be doing this. The joints hurt to move, they had been almost completely motionless for far too long, going on five months, but with Trowa's continuous work it was getting easier. Trowa adjusted his grip on Heero's leg, pressing the bottom of the foot to his chest. Heero's entire focus now was on pushing against Trowa's chest, his leg quivered with the effort, and his ribs burned with his deep intake of breath. Trowa let up for a minute giving Heero a chance to breathe normally, "What's this?" he asked out of the blue, his emerald eyes focusing on something resting on the table.

Heero looked over in the direction Trowa had been focused on and found Ash's gift sitting in the center of the table they had used to play their game. "Chess set," he told his friend quietly, "A gift from Ash."

"He was a close friend while you were away?" it was not an easy question for Trowa to ask, but it was clearly something he wanted to know.

At first Heero only nodded his head, as Trowa began applying pressure to his leg again, but as his friend let up he was able to say a little more, "He thought it was his job to make sure I lived," he spoke in dry tones his expression a little amused.

"Somebody has to do it," Trowa said watching his friend from the edge of his visible eye, and he put Heero's leg down and covered it with the blanket. "Who won?" was his next question, as he stepped around the bed to Heero's right side and removed the blankets.

"I did," Heero's lips twitched into a partial smile, "Ash was distracted by Wufei."

"Sharing stories?" Trowa asked his eyebrow rising.

"Yeah…" Heero knew had Trowa been there he would have been sharing right along with them. The Japanese man watched carefully as Trowa took hold of his right leg, this one hurt more to move and work with as there was a still healing fracture somewhere in the upper part of his femur. But Trowa was carefully and the pain wasn't enough to stop Heero, he wanted to be back on his feet no matter how much pain was involved.

Trowa worked in silence for a time, his focus appearing to be on what he was doing, while Heero's was directed at his breathing. When he was given a chance to relax, Heero looked up to find Trowa's steady gaze fixed on him, "Have you eaten tonight?" he asked starting to work Heero's right knee a little more.

"Haven't been hungry," he said with a shake of his head, he knew that wasn't the answer Trowa wanted to hear, but right now he didn't really care.

"You need to eat," it was just a statement of fact, and Heero know it was all Trowa would say for now. If Heero were to continue not eating he knew Trowa would stop working with him, not something he wanted.

Both their heads jerked towards the door when a soft knock announced someone coming through the door. Trowa was half out of his chair when John walked into the room, but it was too late, the old doctor stopped a few steps into the room taking in the sight before him. He didn't look all that surprised to see Trowa standing there beside Heero, "You tampered with the camera?" his eyes flickered to the mentioned item secured in the far corner of the room. Silence was his response as Trowa slowly sat back down, "Was that really necessary?"

Neither Heero nor Trowa answered that question as John walked over to Heero's bedside, "Why didn't you just tell me?" Heero looked away from John, he couldn't put into words why he had needed to keep this secret so much. Through the corner of one eye, he thought he saw John smile, "It's alright I think I understand…" he settled himself on the edge of Heero's bed and looked to Trowa. "You were the one to bring him the gun?" it wasn't really a question, it made sense that it would have been Trowa. when John found the weapon more than a week back he had asked where it had come from but Heero had refused to say.

Trowa nodded his head in response, but remained silent.

"How long have you been coming?" he asked then.

"A little more than a week," Trowa admitted.

John nodded still not looking all that surprised, "A while back I had thought it was odd that every time I came into your room you were awake. It happens sometimes but not that frequently," he looked pointedly at Heero, his expression amused, "You were learning my schedule so he could avoid being seen."

"Now you know," Heero shrugged the matter aside, it had never been a huge deal, just a little thing for himself a tiny amount of control.

"And I'll be the only one to know," he assured with a smile and stood from the bed.

Heero didn't really understand why that made him happy, he kept telling himself it was just a useless thing to be doing, needlessly complicated. Wouldn't it be easier if everyone knew Trowa was speaking with him? But none of that mattered despite it all Heero wanted things to stay as they were, at least for a little while longer.

Trowa's shifting to the edge of his seat caught Heero's attention, and he turned to look at his friend, "Do you think you'll be able to sleep on your own?" he asked quietly though in the silence of the room his question carried to John's ears as well, but to Heero's surprise the old doctor walked quietly from the room.

The Japanese man thought about the question for a moment, he had been wide awake earlier, but the workout—if he could even call it that—that Trowa had done with him, had worn away at him. He felt exhausted now, and it disgusted him, but there was no point dwelling on it now. He just looked into Trowa's eyes and nodded his head, he'd have no trouble sleeping now.

"Alright then," Trowa came to his feet, "I have a late performance tomorrow night, so I won't be in until closer to morning." He stepped around the bed walking towards the door, "Try and get some sleep," he threw over his shoulder as he walked from the room. Heero shook his head a little, knowing that comment was both for now and tomorrow night. Letting his eyes fall closed Heero basked in the familiar ache of tired muscles, it was altogether a different sort of pain to the one he was used to feeling right now, and it was a reminder. He was working towards where he used to be, to being back on his feet.

WMWMWMW

No sooner had Trowa stepped from Heero's room, than John was walking towards him, "Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked with a friendly smile.

Trowa mutely nodded and followed behind the old doctor as he lead the way to the room right next to Heero's where the Japanese man could be easily observed. Sally had thought of everything when she had had these rooms designed, not even half of their security features were being used right now, and he wondered if they ever would be. Trowa hoped when Heero was back on his feet there might be a need to demonstrate how good that room really was. He wanted to see if more for the reason of seeing his friend back to his usual self rather than the amusement that might be involved in seeing him try to find a way out.

John lowered his aged frame down into one of the chairs, and pulled one in front of him for Trowa to do the same, "Will he be able to sleep?" John inquired.

"Yeah," Trowa said with a nod.

"Good. I know he was awake when I went in to check on him last, but I had hoped he would be able to fall asleep on his own. The less drugs I have to give him the better," John leaned back in his chair folding his arms across his chest. "You've been doing more than just talking with him?" John asked then looking truly curious.

Trowa hesitated to answer, there was a chance that John wouldn't want him doing what he had been for Heero, the thought of telling Heero about his confession to John was not all that appealing an idea. "It's alright, Trowa, I just wanted to make sure you know what you're doing. He's more relaxed now than he has been for a while, and I'm pretty sure that's not just because of the gun."

A ghost of a smile tugged at Trowa's lips as he looked more directly at John, "During the war, when Heero had self destructed I took care of him, got him back on his feet." He shrugged his shoulders at the memory, "It wasn't perfect, but we weren't really in a position to have proper treatment."

John nodded his head slowly not looking all that pleased about the truth of what Trowa had said, but his expression lightened quickly, "What have you been doing with him?"

"Working the joints in his legs getting him to work against a little pressure," Trowa explained, it really wasn't all that much. Heero was going to have to go through some much more vigorous rehabilitation before he was on the road to where he had been.

"That's good, keep it up," John sat a little straighter, "He's not quite at the point yet where I want to be bringing in a physical therapist for him, but it won't be much longer."

Internally Trowa winced at the thought, he tried to imagine Heero working with someone like that, but just couldn't seem to do it. Then there was also the problem of the world needing to think Heero was dead, "Do you have someone in mind already?"

"Yes," he said with an affirming nod, "A longtime friend. She's good and trustworthy. I haven't approached her yet; I wanted to give Heero more time to fill out and his broken bones time to heal."

"Not sure how well that'll go over with Heero," Trowa warned.

John slowly shook his head, "I'll deal with it when the time comes."

Trowa opted to let the conversation drop there, he didn't think anything would make Heero comply to having to work so closely with another human being, especially one he had never met before. "Good luck with that," he said with a nod of his head as he came to his feet. John chuckled softly at that but silently watched him go.

Thanks for Reading!

**Do You Remember When:**

Heero studied Relena without really looking at her, "He's just a very stubborn man," he said remembering all the occasions Ash had forced things to go as close to his way as he could, despite Heero's protests, "With no sense of self preservation." A tiny almost impossible to see smile touched his face, nothing had deterred Ash, he had been able to push everyone else away except Ash. Heero reached across his body without really thinking the fingers of his left hand searching out the golden strands of Relena's hair that had spilled across him when she had laid her head down.

"I know his friendship to you means more than just that," Relena said with a contented smile, "Even if you refuse to admit it to yourself."

It was true, Heero couldn't deny it to himself, it was hard for him to express in words emotions he didn't really understand. As much has he had tried to push Ash away, a part of him had always been grateful that Ash remained steadfast. Despite himself he had come to rely on people at least to some extent, and to suddenly rip himself from the friends he had fought so hard with, it had hurt him more than he expected it would.

Heero looked down at his hand twined in Relena's silky hair, before his eyes sought out her face, "I missed that…" she whispered eyes falling closed. The silence that settled over them was a comfortable one, it was nice for Heero to just be able to enjoy being with her again without feeling like she was forcing herself to sit with him. He knew deep down that had never been the case, but that didn't change the fact that that was how it had felt to him, this was by far preferable.

The soft knock on the door hardly registered with Heero, it was enough to alert him, but he didn't bother turning to look and see who it was. "Aww now isn't this a nice sight!" Ash's smile could be heard clearly in his voice as he strode into the room. Relena jumped having clearly not been paying enough attention to even heard the door. Heero was surprised at the blush that flooded her cheeks as she sat a little straighter though still resting her arms on the bed. "Oh don't stop just cause I'm here," Ash continued to grin like a Cheshire cat, "Heero you didn't tell me you could melt women, what other secrets have you been hiding?"

Heero levelled the man with a steady glare, but Ash had seen enough of them to know these daggers were dull. "Princess," Ash continued without missing a beat, "I'm glad our second meeting is under better circumstances, I never really got a chance to apologise for all that happened to you."

She offered Ash a gracious smile, it was genuine, and lit up her entire face, "As I myself have been told several times recently," her eyes fell to Heero, "It's all in the past."

Ash nodded in agreement to that, and turned his focus to Heero, "So Heero…"

"Don't ask," the Japanese man cut through, Ash's relaxed drawl, he saw through the corner of his eye that Relena's eyes flickered between them in silent question.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	39. Do You Remember When?

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: ACK! How much time has passed! I'm sorry I really am, I humbly beg your forgiveness and as an apology I'd like you all to enjoy this **SURPRISE** double chapter! And I truly hope the next chapter doesn't take to long to reach all of you. I'm sure everyone can understand the pressures of work and school. So thank you all for being so patient, and please enjoy these too chapters.

**Special thanks to my editors! Pious Knight and morgansgirl, you two do so much for me I just don't know what to say besides thank you!**

**Mini Nicka**: I'm so sorry this took long but I hope the two chapters help make up for it. I'm really glad you enjoy Wufei and Ask joking around I'm sure you'll enjoy this chapter as much (smiles) just about all the pilots are in this one! Thanks for the review!

**miroku-has-darkness**: Thanks for the review! Quatre is a hard one to bring into the story, since he's the president of the colonies, he'll be in this next chapter though and a few others before he has to return to the colonies.

**ghostreader**: (laughs) no Heero certainly isn't a people person, John does his best when the time comes but lets just say it isn't smooth sailing. We're still a little ways off from that point yet, so I hope you enjoy what comes between. I'm sorry I took so long, thanks for your review!

**Sakura Blossom-Cilla-85**: Interesting that you'd mention that (smiles) I remember about three years back when neekabe and I were on a trip we had been discussing how we could get Heero to come to accept the brand…nothing quite so easy, but we came up with a few thing (I don't want to spoil too much now) and I think Heero will come to accept it, and during the wedding (near the end of the story) the Phoenix at least will play a role…Never fear Quatre is here (laughs) although I know a lot of people write Quatre as being able to sense things (emotions and the like) very acutely, I find it to be a little hard to use in this story, sometimes I do write him like that, but this wasn't the story for it. Thanks so much for the suggestions and review! I hope you enjoy the double chapter.

**D3**: (laughs) no checkers? Ever? Thanks so much! I really enjoy writing these chapters they're a lot of fun, something I think Heero really needed along with all of you! Thanks again!

**L.A.UNE**: Sorry I took so long! I hope these were worth the wait! Development between Dante and Une eh? I believe you'll find just that in the beginning of the next chapter! I hope you like it! Thanks so much for the review!

**TheEvilAshleyness**: Hurray! Thanks so much, I couldn't believe how well Ash has gone over with everyone. (laughs) I remember such evils before I acquired my lap top, this little guy as given me freedom (smiles) Ack! I'm so sorry this took me so long! I hope these help in whatever way they can now.

**Keeroshu**: Thank you! I'm sorry I took so long! I hope you enjoy these two chapters, there's a lot more of Ash interacting with the pilots in this chapter and the next (smiles) I really like writing these parts there so upbeat. Thanks again!

**Allura01**: Thank you so much! I never know quite what to say for such compliments, but thank you! I'm truly honoured. (smiles) Thank you, thank you! I hope these two chapters do not disappoint. (smiles) I really love the thought of Ash as a big brother for Heero, it's just so cute! Not so sure how Heero would feel about it, but that's why we don't ask him (laughs). John's such a good man so protective of Heero too. Again thank you so much! I hope you enjoy these chapters!

**Raizard333**: Thanks for the review, sorry these chapters took so long to come out, you'll see for yourself just how much more relaxed Heero is in these next few chapters. As for the physical therapist, you don't actually get to meet her for a while yet, not that there's much of a secret about her. So I guess I can at least tell you her name, it's Lauren Stokes. Thanks again!

**Gabrelia**: Thank you so much! Really it's so amazing to hear that, I'm always so worried about keeping them in character, I'm so glad I have been, Thank you! I hope you enjoy these chapters! Thank you again!

**Kalorna Enera**: I'm so sorry I missed your question before, thank you for asking it again! I most certainly am planning on tying everything up (smiles) it might just take a while to do. Long ago I decided to do something a little differed with this story, something I had never done before, for this story I never wanted to enter the minds of the 'Evil People'. So if that's the perspective you're hoping for, I'm sorry, (laughs) sometimes I just need to feel different. Quatre's a really hard character to keep in this story since I gave him the position of president of the colonies, but he'll be in the next few chapters I think and I'll be sure to bring him in again. Thank you so much! And I'm sorry these chapters were so late!

**dawnferra**: Thank you so much! Sorry it took so long! I hope you enjoy these chapters!

**kie**: I'm sorry I took so long! I hope your really enjoy these chapters, they should be a lot of fun! (laughs) I like question, never hesitate to ask if you have them (smiles) thanks again!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing

**Do You Remember When?**

Heero's eyes focused on the far side of his room and the small patch of sunshine that filtered through the drawn curtains. His room was lit by artificial lights, but seeing thishe wished someone would shut them off and open the curtains. He couldn't remember the last time he had actually seen the sun it, had been so long ago. Heero remembered the first time he had come to Earth, his first time seeing the sun, it hadn't impressed him. He had not felt a need to bask in its warm rays, but for some reason, now he wanted to be in that small patch of sunlight, he assumed it was just because he couldn't.

A knock on the door caught his attention, but he didn't look over immediately. He didn't want to take his eyes off that golden glow, a part of him was afraid it wouldn't be there when he looked back. "Good morning Heero," Relena cheerful voice did finally draw Heero's eyes and his expression relaxed happy to see her.

"What about the conference?" he asked as she stepped beside the bed, he had not been expecting to see her since the conference had started.

She just smiled, "It's Sunday. Yesterday was just a large formal greeting with lunch, nothing really starts until tomorrow." Relena walked quickly around the bed her pretty smile growing, "So I have the whole day."

Heero's eyes flickered away from Relena to the slowly moving spot of sunshine, pleased to see it was still there. He looked back to Relena only to see her eyes studying the area of the room he had just been looking at. "Why are those still closed?" she asked, "It's such a beautiful day outside." Crossing the room quickly Relena threw back the curtains allowing all the sunlight to spill into the room, Heero felt that now familiar pain stab behind his right eye at the sudden brightness but he ignored it. A cloudless blue sky greeted his eyes when he was able to see clearly, and for several long minutes he just stared at it.

She came back to her chair after dimming the room's lights letting the sun do more of the work. Now that the room seemed filled with this natural brightness Heero looked more closely at Relena, noting that had he been paying more clear attention he would have known she had nowhere important to be. Her long blond hair hung loose about her shoulders just the way he liked it, and she wore clothesfar more comfortable thanthat of herusual business suit. Relena took the chair by Heero's bed and pulled her legs up into it, making herself comfortable.

"So how are you feeling?" she asked with a small smile, he knew that question was coming he had lost count of the number of times he had heard the question.

"About the same as always," Heero responded vaguely, knowing Relena would let it go at that unlike some of theothers.

"Well that's certainly better than worse," she leaned to the side, propping her head on one hand. She was far more relaxed now than she had been at the beginning and Heero too felt a step closer to what they had had. "And I definitely prefer your company to those old men and the conference," she laughed a little at that.

"What about Dante, Zechs, and Quatre?" Heero asked in return, feeling his lips twitch, it was hard not to feel what Relena was sharing with him.

"They might not be old, but I still prefer you," her eyes moved away from Heero as she spoke, until they were looking at the table resting partially over the left side of Heero's bed. A cup sat closest to the edge with a straw in it, but Heero knew that's not what had caught her attention, "What's this?" she asked while drawing the table across the bed.

Her small hands took hold of the wooden box even as Heero answered, "A chess set," he raised his left hand up onto the table motioning towards the small drawers, "It was a gift from Ash."

"It's beautiful," she breathed as she unfolded it and opened one of the drawers studying the pieces. Relena put the piece away after a moment and slid the table slowly back to where it had been previously been sitting. Leaning forward Relena rested her arms on the bed beside him and lowered her head onto them as she watched him, "He's a good friend, I didn't realise then, how close you two were…" there was no need for her to specify what she meant by 'then'.

Heero studied Relena without really looking at her, "He's just a very stubborn man," he said remembering all the occasions Ash had forced things to go as close to his way as he could, despite Heero's protests, "With no sense of self preservation." A tiny almost impossible to see smile touched his face, nothing had deterred Ash, he had been able to push everyone else away except Ash. Heero reached across his body without really thinking, his the fingers of his left hand searching out the golden strands of Relena's hair that had spilled across him when she had laid her head down.

"I know his friendship to you means more than just that," Relena said with a contented smile, "Even if you refuse to admit it to yourself."

It was true, Heero couldn't deny it to himself, it was hard for him to express in words emotions he didn't really understand. As much has he had tried to push Ash away, a part of him had always been grateful that Ash remained steadfast. Despite himself he had come to rely on people at least to some extent, and to suddenly rip himself from the friends he had fought so hard with, it had hurt him more than he expected it would.

Heero looked down at his hand twined in Relena's silky hair, before his eyes sought out her face, "I missed that…" she whispered eyes falling closed. The silence that settled over them was a comfortable one. It was nice for Heero to just be able to enjoy being with her again without feeling like she was forcing herself to sit with him. He knew deep down thishad never been the case, but that didn't change the fact that that was how it had felt to him, this was by far preferable.

The soft knock on the door hardly registered with Heero, it was enough to alert him, but he didn't bother turning to look and see who it was. "Aww now isn't this a nice sight!" Ash's smile could be heard clearly in his voice as he strode into the room. Relena jumped having clearly not been paying enough attention to even have heard the door. Heero was surprised at the blush that flooded her cheeks as she sat a little straighter though still resting her arms on the bed. "Oh don't stop just 'cause I'm here," Ash continued to grin like a Cheshire cat, "Heero you didn't tell me you could melt women, what other secrets have you been hiding?"

Heero levelled the man with a steady glare, but Ash had seen enough of them to know these daggers were dull. "Princess," Ash continued without missing a beat, "I'm glad our second meeting is under better circumstances, I never really got a chance to apologise for all that happened to you."

She offered Ash a gracious smile, it was genuine, and lit up her entire face, "As I myself have been told several times recently," her eyes fell to Heero, "It's all in the past."

Ash nodded in agreement to that, and turned his focus to Heero, "So Heero…"

"Don't ask," the Japanese man cut through Ash's relaxed drawl, he saw through the corner of his eye that Relena's eyes flickered between them in silent question.

"That's not fair, just cause you can't bring yourself to be honest with me," Ash protested.

Heero rolled his eyes, "Fine!" he sighed, "The same as always," he spoke each word purposefully, feeling a victory near at hand. Not only was this not among the answers Ash didn't want to hear it was also more than just two words, he couldn't complain about this.

Ash opened his mouth to contest his answer but stopped, "Well it doesn't tell me very much but it isn't exactly breaking the rules…" he appeared to think about it for a moment, and Heero looked away to Relena still seeing a confused expression on her face. "I suppose I'll except it for now, but I'll get you to be honest one of these days Heero," the former pilot knew better than to say anything then, no matter what it was it would have just further encouraged Ash. "I'm tired of his usual answers to how he's feeling," Ash explained to Relena with a crooked smile on his face, "So when I'm here the traditional answers don't apply."

Relena laughed a little at that, her eyes searching out Heero's face "And you play along with this?"

"I find my way around it," he told her dryly.

"That won't last for much longer," Ash countered with a laugh, and sat himself down on the edge of Heero's bed. "I thought it might be nice if I brought everyone in since Quatre had the day off…I hope I'm not disrupting any plans," he was entirely serious now.

"No, I think it's a great idea," Relena was quick to assure.

As much as Heero had been enjoying his time alone with Relena, he felt a spark of excitement at the thought of spending time with all of them. He hadn't actually seen Quatre since this had all been resolved, but he felt there wouldn't be as much tension with him. Quatre might like to blame himself for bad things that happened, but he understood Heero's situation. He had been the one to destroy the colonies and satellites, and had managed to come back from that and complete the war, in his own way making up for his mistake. Heero was also hoping that Ash's presence would relax the situation, as he had done with Wufei, and Wufei hadn't needed the help.

"Good," Ash breathed a sigh of relief, "I wasn't able to get a hold of Trowa, Duo gave me his cell number but he wouldn't answer."

Heero saw Relena's expression falter then, and he wondered what she had to regret about that? But this didn't seem like the time or place to ask, "Don't worry about it, he'll come when he's ready."

Ash nodded to that his smile returning, "I was thinking we could all play some euchre," he pulled a deck of cards from the pocket of the light jacket he was wearing and placed it on the table in front of Heero. "Duo told me this was a game you've played before," Ash shrugged out of the jacket and tossed it on the counter.

The former pilot reached up to finger the deck, remembering the first time Duo and spoken of the game, and explained it to him. It had seemed an odd game to him at first but one he had quickly come to like, more so for the banter than the actual game. "I've heard from Dante and Une that you and Duo had a rather interesting first meeting?" Relena said with a mischievous smile.

Ash looked suddenly put on the spot, a sheepish smile overtaking his features, "Ah…about that…" he laughed a little at seeing Relena's smile widen at that, it wasn't often that Ash was caught off guard.

Heero looked between the two of them his expression clearly questioning, he hadn't heard anything about this meeting. Relena laughed easily, "I'm sorry Ash, I couldn't resist," her attention turned to Heero, "Ash and Duo decided to have a fight to decide who was the better friend." Her smile widened and she winked at Ash.

"So who won?" Heero asked looked Ash's way.

Ash pulled a hand through his hair eyes glancing away, "Well…it's kind of a draw," he shrugged his shoulders.

A silence fell over the three of them, and Heero turned his attention to Relena who had taken hold of his left hand where it lay on his body. It wasn't long before he felt Ash's considering eyes studying him, briefly he considered ignoring them, but how long before a comment came? Turning his eyes to Ash Heero was surprised not to see a knowing smirk on his friend's face rather Ash looked deep in thought his eyes studying a part of Heero very intently. "I've been meaning to ask you," Ash began gesturing towards Heero's right arm, "Why haven't you been using it?"

Heero flexed his left hand gently causing Relena to let go and reached up for the blankets that covered his right arm. He released his hold on the gun before he began to pull the sheets back to reveal the brace that held firm to his forearm. "Just harder to move right now," he said slowly drawing his arm up, there was pain when he tried to move it, and he could feel it was more sluggish than his left but he was able to do it.

"I was wondering if cards would be a problem. Glad to see you can still use it. How bad's the break?" he asked.

The former pilot looked down at his right arm and shrugged, "Never asked," he admitted placing the matter aside as someone knocked on his door. Three sets of eyes watched as Duo, Wufei and Quatre walked into the room.

Quatre strode over to Heero's bedside quickly his expression a mix of remorse and relief, "It's really good to see you awake," he greeted "I'm sorry I couldn't come to see you sooner."

"Don't worry about it," Heero disregarded the matter, he knew how busy Quatre was, it could be an effort at times just for him to be able to spend a little time with his sisters. Heero could feel a slight tension build within the silence that followed, and he wished there was something he could say to dispel it, but there wasn't. Ash thankfully stepped forward or at least reached for the deck of cards.

"Alright now that we're all here, it's time to pick partners," he smiled openly to all in the room, "Duo, you and Heero against my self and Quatre, Relena and Wufei play the winner?" Ash offered seeing as no one had really jumped at the short opening he gave them.

Heero's eyes sought out Duo's face and saw a slightly unsure expression, but there was hope in those eyes. He wanted to do this as much as the others but Heero thought they probably felt like they didn't deserve to have the friendship back that they had all almost lost. Heero was determined to show them that wasn't the case at all. The edges of his lips curled slightly into a tiny smile. For someone like Duo, the expression stood out clearly, and he returned the smile albeit hesitantly as he moved to sit near the end of Heero's bed. Quatre took up position opposite Ash, who was trying to arrange the table so it was within easy reach for Heero along with the others. Relena remained sitting in the chair next to Heero's bed, her head resting on her hands, crystal blue eyes constantly wandering about the room.

As Ash began to shuffle the deck of cards, Heero watched him look over each face, a tiny smile touching his lips as he did. The Japanese man didn't think anyone else noticed, despite the fact that they were all here and about to do something they hadn't in years, the tension remained subtle but still clearly there. Heero wondered what Ash had up is sleeve as he began to slowly deal out the cards.

"So I think it's time we share some dirt," Ash broke the silence suddenly, his voice and mannerboth completely relaxed. "What sort of stories do you have about him?" he thumbed in Heero's direction, his smile widening at the varying reactions he received. Wufei was smirking at this, while Quatre looked surprised. Heero looked to Duo who sat across from him unable to read his friend's face. "What do you say?" Heero knew Ash wouldn't be deterred by silence he'd push for what he wanted.

"Do I have a say in this?" Heero asked with a raised eyebrow as he reached with his left hand for the last card dealt to him, placing it along with the others into his right.

"Not unless it's 'Yes I think that's a great idea!' no," Ash shook his head smiling like a mad man. It was impossible not to feel affected by his good mood, and smiles could be seen on both Quatre and Duo's faces now. They were standing on the edge of something, it was something they all wanted just a tiny piece of normalcy. But could they get it? Were they worthy to enjoy a moment of peace?

"Well there was that time he jumped from the hospital…" to Heero's total surprise it was Duo who was speaking, his eyes on his cards as though he were still a little unsure but wanted to see where this could possible take them.

Ash laughed at that, "I find pulling a gun on him works rather well to keep him there," his comment was vague but Heero remembered the incident that Ash was referring too.

An eyebrow raised on Duo's face as he passed out a card, it was clear he was curious about that, "Well I was sort of on the run at the same time…" Duo looked at Heero from the tops of his eyes, "It was the fact that he didn't pull his parachute right away that bothered me a little."

Heero smirked a little at that, still able to clearly remember Duo's reaction when he had set the leg that had been broken in the fall. Heero trumped the cards already on the table and let Duo take the trick, as he tossed out his last card winning them the first round. "So this jumping out of high places is not an unusual thing for you?" Ash asked tossing the missy to Duo to begin the next round.

"What else has he jumped from?" Quatre asked the dreaded question, Heero rolled his eyes the smile on Ash's face was devilish.

"Never give him an opening…" Heero mumbled under his breath, still really enjoying himself.

As quiet as it had been Ash still seemed to catch that, and though he didn't call Heero on it, a glint entered his eyes that Heero was positive was not a good sign. "He decided to jump from a helicopter without attaching his harness, about partway down he decided something might be useful to slow his fall," Ash shook his head smiling, "By that point his only option was bare hand on rope."

"I was wearing gloves," Heero corrected in a monotone.

"Still got burned, didn't you?" Ash threwback almost sounding smug.

Duo laughed out right at that, for the first time appearing to completely relax, "Death from above," he smiled, "That's nothing new with Heero."

"I thought he seemed unnaturally comfortable with it…" Ash said sounding entirely serious, "He seemed a little too quick to turn to that as his way out."

Relena reached out a hand to rest lightly on Heero's,her eyes seeking out his as though to make sure he was enjoying this, he nodded to her once to assure. This was the banter he had missed all those years, not only that but to be surrounded by people who understood him completely, something he had never quite allowed himself to believe Ash could do. Quatre looked in Heero's direction, "Wasn't there a time when you were protecting Relena that you used that method?" he directed his question to Heero, ever polite while the others were content to speak about him. Either way it didn't matter to Heero, he knew he wouldn't be the one answering that question, but if it got the others talking than it was all worth it.

"Yeah," Wufei confirmed from his position at the left side of Heero's bed, he leaned against the wall watching the game with a relaxed air about him. He didn't have to struggle over the same barriers as the others, so he could just sit back and enjoy. "He leapt from the second floor loft in a ballroom to take out a potential target."

"He had a gun," Heero defended tossing out a card to follow suit with what Quatre had lead with.

"The stairs as I recall were right next to you," Wufei pointed out calmly.

"Would have taken too long," the Japanese man said in an offhand way.

"You could have broken something!" Duo retorted with lightning speed his usual smile now settled firmly on his features.

Heero shrugged, "I landed on something soft."

Ash barked a laugh at that, "You've been doing this for how long?" it was a rhetorical question as he continued to laugh.

"So what happened; he tried to jump out the window with you there?" Duo asked Ash, "You said you pulled a gun on him? What happened to his gun?"

"It actually was his gun…" Ash sat a little straighter, that hand having been played giving him a moment to reminisce as Quatre shuffled the deck of cards. Heero shut his eyes at this, he couldn't really remember this event and he knew that was never a good sign. "Someone had been drinking a little too much. When the hospital staff tired to examine him he became difficult, so I took his gun from him." Ash looked over at Heero a disgustingly sweet smile on his face, "You behaved yourself relatively well after that." Heero glared daggers in return but that only seemed to fuel Ash on.

"Heero's never much been in favour of doctors," Wufei said with a shake of his head, "I seem to recall Sally having a hell of a time with you after you took out that terrorist."

Heero remembered it all too clearly, and he shook his head, "I was fine."

"Not that she believed you," Wufei returned dryly.

"Well I'd say we're all to blame for that," Heero looked up as his friend. There had been a time when Sally didn't feel the need to hound them so much, she had expected them to come to her when injured. But it had quickly become clear that their idea of what needed treating and Sally's were entirely different. After a few episodes of her discovering a hidden injury Sally had become a great deal more persistent not leaving them alone until she knew everything no matter how long it took.

"Euchre," Ash announced rather pleased with himself, he gathered the cards and quickly shuffled them dealing them out and placing the missy before Heero, and the game was on again before anyone could say anything. "So Duo, how did you first meet Heero? I understand violent greetings are the norm for you guys…"

"He tried to kill me," Heero answered for his friend, as though it were an everyday thing. Heero liked the smirk he saw flash onto Duo's features at that he was relaxing.

"Only 'cause you were trying to kill her," he point in Relena's direction, for her part Relena was quietly laughing her arms pressed to Heero's side lightly just keeping a contact there. "And wouldn't you know it! She defends him!" Duo still sounded as disgruntled now as he had back then.

Relena laughed outright at that, "Can you blame me? What girl can resist someone so dark and brooding?" she smiled up at him, for his part Heero just gave her a sceptical look, only increasing the sparkle in her eyes.

"Not many apparently," Ash replied leisurely, "Heero, remember that time with the stripper?"

The conversation stumbled over that one, Heero just slowly shook his head, Ash had stretched the truth a little before, now he was just outright lying, "Ash…" there was a warning note in his voice but Ash was having too much fun now, and the other's were glancing his way obviously curious to see where this was heading. Relena on the other hand just looked amused, Heero felt pretty sure she knew it wasn't true.

"Hey it's not my fault you're embarrassed now…" he smiled cheekily.

"It never happened," Heero clarified calmly.

"If you want to remember it that way…" Ash appeared thoughtful for a moment, "You know as surprised as I was back then, I only really had one question. Were you of age then? Are you of age now? How old are you?" he didn't seem to care that that was three questions.

"Don't make me kill you," despite himself Heero was still enjoying this.

Ash's eyes lit up, "You'll have to get out of bed first!"

Heero's hand had lowered the cards and slipped down to the blankets searching out that familiar concealed object. "Thankfully someone actually had a little foresight," Heero pulled the gun from beneath the blankets and with some effort aimed it at Ash.

That caused more than one pair of eyes to widen, "Where did you get that?" it was Relena who asked the question he could see in all of their eyes.

"Gun Fairy," Heero replied with a straight face.

Duo burst out laughing at that, "What? He takes stitches and leaves weaponry?"

Heero smiled a little more openly, "Something like that…" he said softly as Ash took up the deck of cards still laughing over that exchange.

Thanks for Reading!

**Pictures on the Wall**:

John walked into the monitoring room next door to Heero's carrying a small cooler in one hand, his brown eyes were a little surprised to see Wufei sitting in the room. The Chinese man was seated behind the desk onyx eyes focused intently on the computer screen before him, though he did look up briefly when John entered the room. He moved deeper into the room glancing over Wufei's shoulder as he placed the cooler down on the edge of the table, "Chess strategies?" he questioned an eyebrow raised.

Wufei looked up with a dry laugh, "Getting Heero to eat has come down to a chess game every time, where at the very least he ends up eating half of what I bring him." Wufei turned the chair so he was more fully looking at John, "If I win he eats it all."

"Well at least he's still eating some…" John shook his head, Heero could be such a stubborn boy, "He's been getting more difficult, but I'm hoping I've found something that might be a nice treat."

"Oh?" Wufei questioned sounding very curious. John removed the lid of the cooler allowing the former pilot to looking inside at the contents, "Well it's certainly worth a shot," he smiled a little at that.

"That's what I was thinking," John returned the expression and shut the cooler. His eyes sought out the monitor which displayed the image of Heero's room. He saw Ash sitting with the Japanese boy, both pouring over the chess board Ash had bought. "That was an excellent gift," he spoke softly drawing a nod from Wufei as the Chinese man returned to the computer screen before him. Inadvertently learning what he had wanted to know John took hold of the cooler and walked back out of the room making his way to Heero's.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	40. Pictures on the Wall

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: As promised here's the second chapter! I hope everyone enjoyed the last and this one as well! Thank you all! Honestly Thanks is not enough for how much you all brighten my day! (smiles)

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing

**Pictures on the Wall**

"How do you want to proceed from here?" Dante asked from where he lounged on the comfortable couch, Une's head shot up at the sudden question. Her heart skipped a little at the sound of his deep voice, and she prayed none of the blush she felt showed. "In regards to the Inner Circle," Dante clarified with a subtle smile. _Damn him_, he had noticed, he had eyes like a hawk.

Une cleared her throat taking a second to gather herself, she wasn't about to let this man play her. As much as she liked Dante and would like to be closer to him, she refused to act like a school girl with a crush. She wasn't about to let Dante draw another reaction like that from her. "For the time being I see no reason to make any move against them," she said calmly but not too professionally, she didn't want him to see how much that had really affected her.

"I don't understand, we know where they are. Why let this continue?" he asked leaning forward in his chair any thoughts of flirting apparently fleeing his mind.

Une reached for the teapot that had been seeping for the past several minutes and poured each of them a cup. She was grateful to have this day with Dante before the real work of the conference began, all too rarely was she able to indulge in such relaxing company. "It's imperative that this is completely legal. Not only that; I don't want to risk the peace any more than we have to. The last thing I want is a mass panic."

"That makes sense," Dante agreed, accepting his cup from Une and once more settling back on the couch.

"With the Inner Circle's unusual set up, there's no easy way to follow the members to the head, we've been working on a list, as you know, but haven't made any serious progress. Were we to go in now, there's a great chance we'd lose out on the leaders," she took a slow sip of her tea, secretly enjoying the way Dante's eyes studied her both listening to what she had to say while still seeing her, not a military or political leader, but a woman. "Right now, our best bet to get all of them would be to lock down the colony and search every member one at a time for the brand, a massive undertaking. I'd like to take more time to gather more information, from both your colony and Heero if he's able to remember anything else of importance."

"You realise it may still come down to a colony-wide search. Your research may yield nothing," Dante warned seriously.

"Yes, I'm aware of that," Une nodded with equal professionalism, but she couldn't miss the opportunity to catch Dante off guard. Reaching down to take hold of the tea pot Une smiled slightly to herself as she poured a cup for herself and Dante, "Perhaps the search should start here…" she suggested with her own subtle flirting tone, pleased at the raised eyebrow, and slight redness on Dante's handsome face.

"Am I to take it, you don't trust me?" he asked with mock hurt, accepting the cup of tea.

"Oh it's not me," Une amended quickly leaning back with tea cup and saucer, "But I've heard some talk…"

Dante slowly nodded his head sipping at his tea as though this were a normal conversation, "Ahh…and what would it take to placate these people?" it was such a careful dance, each new step unknown to them until it came, did they want to make the next move? Une thought so, Dante's continuous flirting sure seemed a sign of it.

"Perhaps visual proof that you're unbranded, might help…" Une couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth, but she also couldn't deny her want to see the body beneath the business suit, her imagination after all could only do so much.

With a look that was impossible to read Dante placed his tea aside and reached for the carefully made knot of his tie loosening it with a suggestive smile. Une held her breath in anticipation as Dante slipped his coat off his shoulders, he didn't bother pulling the tie from beneath his caller but left it to hang there as he slowly worked away at the buttons. All the while his blue eyes remained on Une's face, a dancing light within them, that appeared to say, 'You asked for this, you'd better enjoy it.' Une kept her gaze unwavering as Dante's shirt began to part revealing a well toned chest beneath.

She had expected no less from him, he had always appeared fit, like Treize had, he who Une had seen shirtless more than once. Such images had filled her dreams for many years, had haunted her forever remaining just beyond reach. They were memories Une wished to retain, but no longer wanted to be so fresh, she could not live in the past forever, she could not dream of what would never be, and she certainly couldn't continue to compare Dante to Treize. Dante was an entirely different man, a man who showed interest in her in an almost open way no one ever had before.

Shifting to the edge of the couch he was sitting on Dante spread his shirt away from his chest, revealing clearly two very well defined pectoral muscles unmarred by any brand. "Would this be far enough?" Dante asked glancing down at himself before his eyes returned to her face, "Or should I continue?" his tone was very suggestive.

Une was proud that her expression remained almost normal, no unusual blushing, though she was positive she looked appreciative. Internally her mouth had gone dry, and she had to work at keeping her thoughts in order. For his part Dante wasn't making this any easier for her. In fact he actually seemed to be enjoying himself. He shifted subtly on the couch, drawing Une's eyes like a moth to the flame. She shook her head, coming out of what felt like a trance, _What am I doing?_ she wondered suddenly feeling embarrassed by her actions. It wasn't right, what they were doing, she hadn't thought about it before now, but she felt guilty, like she had let herself go when she should have known better.

With some effort Une pulled her eyes away from Dante's impressive body, still clearly seeing him in her mind's eye. Clearing her throat Une took a long sip from tea trying to refocus her thoughts. "That ought to be enough to silence any critics," she answered finally cursing the blush that touched her cheeks, "I realise it's going to take a great deal of time and man power to accomplish this mission," Une said a little haltingly knowing full well that it sounded awkward, there was just no easy way to move back to their original topic. "We know that they're planning to rebuild Zero, but without Heero their progress will be slowed, they aren't likely to make a move without the Gundam so we have a fair amount of time."

"I can monitor some of their movements, there's no way I can see inside the bunker but I can monitor who goes in, I may be able to add more names to your list," Dante responded after a moment a barely audible sigh escaping him, he actually looked disappointed.

Une smiled in what she hopped didn't look to obviously like relief , "That would certainly help, but be careful not to tip them off, the last thing we want is them running into hiding."

Dante offered her a smile of his own, entirely disarming, "You know how subtle I can be."

"I'm very much hoping Heero will be in a position to help with the closure of this case," Une continued choosing to ignore the flirting undertone in Dante's voice. "After all the effort and time he's given to this mission it seems only fitting that he be a part of its end."

"A fair suggestion," he agreed with a nod of his head, "And if I may make one of my own?" he asked coming to his feet.

Une looked up at him feeling her heart skip once again in her chest, but she managed to keep a neutral expression , "And that would be?"

Dante extended a hand to Une, which she slowly accepted allowing him to draw her smaller form to her feet, "Such days were not designed for business," he pulled her close. Une felt suddenly surrounded by him, as she looked up into his blue green eyes, "At least not that sort of business." He leaned down tentatively touching her lips with his own, a gentle kiss which could give way to so much more, but always the gentleman Une knew she had her hand on the key, it was her choice to turn it.

Une's smaller hands reached inside Dante's open shirt a smile touching her lips as she opened the door without hesitation.

WMWMWMW

Heero rose from a half sleep when he heard a knock on his door. He had been up very early this morning when Trowa had come in to see him, and had not slept much after that. The day before had been a good one for Heero, having spent almost the entire day with his friends and Relena, Heero had found himself feeling more relaxed than he had in a long time. Not only that, but Duo had come back to the banter he remembered so well, a very welcomed change from how he had been acting lately. A part of him had wished Trowa could be a part of the camaraderie, but at the same time he wasn't willing to give up his secret to all of them, not yet.

Trowa's mood on entering Heero's room that night had been interesting to say the very least.He had obviously gone through the computer files, seeing the footage from earlier in the day when the others had been here. "Gun Fairy?" he had asked, deadpan, with one eyebrow raised. Heero had only been able to shrug at that.

"'Morning Heero," Quatre greeted, softly pulling Heero out of his thoughts and back into the present. Surprised to see the former pilot, Heero's eyes looked to the clock on the wall. It wasn't even seven in the morning. "I hope I didn't wake you," he apologised coming a few steps closer, "I just wanted to speak with you alone, and the conference convenes at nine."

"I wasn't sleeping," Heero told him easily. It was at least half true, but that didn't matter. He'd take seeing a friend over sleeping in a heartbeat.

Quatre looked a little unsure of himself then, and appeared to force himself to take another step towards Heero's bed. The Japanese man could see what was about to come, and had to fight himself to keep from sighing. "Heero I--"

"Don't say it," Heero cut him off firmly. The last thing he wanted was an apology, he had received enough to last a lifetime. "How are things in the colonies?" he asked changing the subject swiftly. The young president blinked several times looking terribly unsure of himself, "The past is behind us," Heero went a little further to assure, "I want to know what's happening now."

Very slowly a smile spread across Quatre's face at that. There was still regret clear in his aqua eyes, but he appeared to be able to work around it. "Peaceful, thankfully," he began crossing the last two steps to Heero's bedside so he could take a seat on the edge of the bed. This felt familiar to Heero, though he knew if ever Quatre had sat watching over him in a similar way it had not been in a hospital. "The delegates from the colonies think I should marry…" he slowly shook his head, "I don't think they realised I just recently turned twenty."

"What about your sisters?" Heero asked grateful that the conversation had been able to move on.

Quatre chuckled at that, "Depends on who you ask," he said with a rueful smile, "Some are all for it, they want to make sure the family name lives on, others…" Quatre shrugged, "They don't want to give up their baby brother just yet. Since they're all spread over the colonies, when I visit diplomatically I'm either dodging potential wives all night or surrounded by family friends." Heero was glad he wasn't in such a position, he was having a hard enough time just with Relena. "Have you heard from Trowa at all?" Quatre asked then rather suddenly.

Heero shook his head without hesitation, "No, why?" silently he waited for the reply, wondering if Quatre would be able to call his bluff, of all the people he had ever met Heero had never known anyone to read people more accurately than Quatre. It was like he could see right through themand feel their emotions, almost like a form of empathy, an amazing gift but one that might prove the down fall of Heero's secret.

"I've been having a hard time getting a hold of him, almost like he's avoiding me," Quatre's eyes turned downwards, and Heero breathed a very silent sigh of relief.

"I doubt it's that," he offered, knowing the real reason boiled down to Trowa needing to find some time to be sleeping, what with protecting Relena, working with his sister at the circus and coming in to see Heero, it was hard to balance everything.

"I hope so I'd really like to speak with him before I have to go back." Quatre smiled though it looked forced.

"How long is the conference for? A week?" Heero seemed to remember hearing that somewhere but he wasn't positive he had just assumed that was it's length.

"Yes, there's a lot to discuss and establish now, but I think it will all go smoothly, with less players involved its easier to cover all the big problems," he sounded hopeful. His eyes looked to Heero in the silence that followed, "Did you enjoy yesterday?" Heero responded to that with a tiny smile, "Good, it felt like old times."

"I missed that…" Heero said very softly.

Quatre looked down at his hands, "I should have realised what you meant--"

"We're not doing this," he cut his friend off again, his tone forceful.

"I don't understand," Quatre looked up remorse clear in his eyes, "The others apologized, why can't I?"

"Because you already did…"

The young president straightened at that, his eyes widening, "I came to speak with you just after you had been moved into this room…" he reasoned slowly, more to himself than Heero, "You heard what I said? You were awake?"

Heero's memories from that timewere fuzzy to say the very least, but there was a strong memory of Quatre's voice speaking softly to him, "I heard you," he finally told him.

Quatre's expression changed at that, relaxing allowing a tiny smile to touch his lips, as he sighed in relief, "Good."

A knock sounded into the room then, and both looked over to the door watching as Wufei walked in, Heero was the first to turn his gaze away. He had been expecting this appearance but had not been looking forward to it. Wufei carried with him a container of food, what was supposed to be Heero's breakfast, but Heero could honestly say he wasn't hungry for it.

"Good morning Wufei," Quatre greeted standing.

"Morning," the Chinese man nodded, "Wasn't expecting to see you in so early," he commented for the moment placing his container aside.

"I just wanted a moment to speak with Heero alone," he glanced down at his watch, "But I should probably be on my way, the conference doesn't start for more than an hour, but some might wonder why I'm not there ahead of time." Quatre turned to Heero, "I'll try and come see you again before I have to go back."

Heero mutely nodded at that, watching Quatre walk from the room, leaving him with just Wufei and the food. "You hardly ate anything yesterday," Wufei said slowly sounding almost as though he were preparing himself for a fight.

Not feeling sleepy any more, but at the same time not in the mood to be eating Heero's eyes looked for something to stall the inevitable at least for a little while. His cobalt eyes fell on the chess set and he looked to Wufei, perhaps he'd feel more inclined to eat after a game. "Chess?" he asked simply.

Wufei was fast to nod to that request, "I win you eat it all, you win, you at least eat half." he stated. He had laid out his terms, which Heero agreed to, he didn't really care what happened at the end, it was the game the challenge he enjoyed. The fact that something was riding on the outcome only enhanced the game.

WMWMWMW

Ash stepped from the shower late in the day. He had spent the entire morning and a small stretch of the afternoon catching up on some much needed sleep. He had also thought it might be a good idea to give Heero a little time to himself. The Japanese man had always been a solitary person, as much as he missed his friends it must have difficult to deal with people for so much of the day. Raking both hands quickly through his wet hair, Ash sent flecks of water spraying everywhere as he walked from the bathroom with nothing but a towel wrapped about his narrow waist.

He and Dante both had been given beautiful accommodations in the royal palace, welcomed into the home of king Milliardo Peacecraft. A great honour to be sure, butone Ash cared very little about. He respected the man formally known to the world as Zechs Merquise, but with the knowledge of Heero, everything else paled beside it. There came a soft knock on his door to the main room of his apartment,as Ash strode over to it he forgotfor the moment his present state of undress. Opening the door he was met by Dante's smiling face, the expression slipped a little when he really looked at his friend, "A little late to be just getting up wouldn't you say?" he asked stepping into the room as Ash shut the door behind him.

Ash calmly folded his arms across his chest and leaned back against the door, "You just can't be pleased can you?" he returned with mock frustration. "You complain if I don't sleep, you complain if I do sleep," he slowly shook his head lips twitching with the need to smile.

"Ash it's almost four in the afternoon, correction make that evening," Dante laughed.

"Yourpoint?" Ash pushed himself off the door and walked deeper into the room to a table that displayed a number of carafes all filled with various alcohols, taking hold of one he poured himself a glass, "What some?" he asked Dante with his back to him.

"No thanks," Dante declined politely. Ash turned aroundto face his friend and leaned back on his hand propping him up on the table as he slowly sipped at the rye. "Are you heading into see Heero?"

"Yeah," his eyes flickered to the clock, "Thought I'd head out in a little while."

"Why so late?" Dante stepped towards an elegant looking chair and lowered himself down into it.

Ash slowly shrugged his bare shoulders, "Just thought he might like a little time to himself."

"Ahh…" Dante breathed slowly nodding his head, "How's he doing? I've been given all the medical information, but Une wasn't able to tell me beyond that."

"Depends on the day," Ash responded slowly finishing off the glass, he liked the feel it gavehim as the liquid slid down the back of his throat. "He's got a long road ahead of him, and knowing that bothers him I think, doesn't help that the other pilots have a hard time acting relaxed around him, but I've been working on that," he smiled.

"Quatre was telling me you fit right in there," Dante informed watching Ash from his chair resting his head on one fist.

Ash laughed at that, "I do my best, though I've got a lot to compete with. They've got a lot more stories about Heero than I do, it requires a little creativeness on my part."

"You mean outright lies?"

"If the need should arise," Ash defended smirking, "So what brought you here?" he asked seriously.

Dante stood from the chair and walked to within a couple steps from Ash, "I thought Heero's room looked a little stark when I was in there," he began reaching into the inside pocket of his suit removing an envelope. "I thought you might want to liven it up a little bit," Dante passed the item over to Ash.

Looking at his friend with some confusion Ash quickly opened the envelope finding within all the pictures he had taken and posted on Heero's wall back in his apartment. A wide smile broke out across his face as he looked up as Dante, "Why do you have these?"

"I had thought to show them to Une as part of the agreement, but considering what happened they slipped my mind," Ash's face reddened a little at that holding the envelope a little tighter in his hands.

"Thank you," he told his friend honestly, already trying to imagine Heero's reaction to this.

Dante placed a hand on Ash's shoulder, "Any time," with that he moved back towards the door. "Tell Heero I said hello," he tossed over his shoulder as he walked from the room.

Ash smiled to himself as he pulled the small amount of pictures from the envelope and began looking through them, he had memorized each of them over the time he had searched for any news on Heero, but that didn't stop him looking them over again. There certainly weren't enough to make a big change to Heero's room, that had been true of the apartment, but Ash hadn't had a chance to add to them. Perhaps now with the help of the other pilots and John he might just be able to fill a space with pictures of Heero. Clutching the pictures Ash slipped them away, and headed towards his room to get dressed, he couldn't wait to see Heero's face.

WMWMWMW

Ash strode down the hall to Heero's room, the envelope Dante had given him held tightly in his hand. He stopped outside of the room, an idea occurring to him. It was an opportunity he hadn't had back on the colony. A smile spread across his face as he bypassed Heero's room and instead walked into the one next to it. Wufei looked up from the computer he had been working on, a surprised look on his face. "I didn't think you were coming in today," he said pushing his chair away from the table.

"I just thought I'd give him a bit of a breather," Ash explained coming to a stop on the other side of the table.

Wufei slowly nodded to that leaning back in his chair and folding his arms across his chest, "Not so sure you need to worry about that."

"Oh?" that raised an eyebrow.

"He's been by himself for so long, I think he's just enjoying have people around for the first time," the Chinese man smiled a little at that, "He's been waiting for you."

Ash gave a start at that, and laughed a little, "I never would have expected that."

"So what brought you in here first?" Wufei asked suddenly changing the subject.

"I was wondering if you had any pictures of Heero, they don't have to be just him," Ash brought forward the envelope and pulled his few pictures from it laying them out of the table before the other man.

Wufei sat forward in his chair taking the pictures into his hand to have a closer look at each one, "Where did you get these?"

"Anywhere I could find them," Ash laughed softly, "I had them up in his apartment, he needed some decoration there, you'd hardly know he even lived there."

"And he kept them up?" it was Wufei's turn to raise an eyebrow.

"To my total amazement," Ash nodded.

"Well," Wufei began passing the pictures back to Ash, "None of us were really into taking pictures, I'm sure I could track some down given enough time, but you could ask Sally, I seem to recall her having a camera on several occasions." He stood glancing down at his watch as he did, "She should be in her apartment."

Ash followed behind the Chinese man as he lead the way from the room, feeling excitement bubble up within him at the thought of getting his hands on some more pictures. Wufei led him down the hall and knocked on one of the several doors that lined either side of the hall. They waited together in silence for several minutes, sounds from the other side of the door telling Ash thatSally was indeed in her apartment. The door opened to reveal the young doctor, and Ash watched as her expression changed immediately from neutral to worried.

"Is Heero alright?" she asked instantly, her eyes looking from Wufei to Ash.

"He's fine," Wufei assured, and turned a little to include Ash in the conversation, "We just wanted to know if you had any pictures with Heero in it?"

That caused a pause, and Ash watched with a tiny smile as Sally visibly switched gears, her shoulders relaxing a little. He wondered why she became so tense when Heero was mentioned, but wasn't about to ask. "I think I might have something…" Sally breathed as she stepped back into her apartments letting them follow behind.

Ash glanced about her apartment, the room being lit by the slowly setting sun, many pictures lined the walls, but he noted few were personal the vast majority appeared to be landscapes and paintings. Sally had moved to a long, low shelf that was against the far wall displaying various books and other small items one would expect to find on display. She removed a photo album from the shelf and began flipping through it, Wufei watched from over her shoulder. "What sort of things are you looking for?" she asked glancing at Wufei.

"That would do," he said pointing at something on the page, yet Ash was unable to see what they were pointing at and it only perked his curiosity more.

"What is this for exactly?" she asked then removing several pictures from the album, and glancing at Ash who remained standing near the door.

Ash smiled, "Just livening up Heero's room,"

Sally's expression was odd, but Ash couldn't really say what he was looking at, but she walked towards him with a few pictures in hand, "Well I hope these help."

He took them eagerly eyes fixing on the first image, it was a picture of Heero along with Wufei, Trowa, and Duo, they were all wearing the same outfit looked like some form of uniform. After a moment of staring at it Ash recognised it as the uniform they wore when protecting Relena. He had seen several news articles and broadcasts where one of more would appear around her in such an outfit. The next picture was of Heero and Duo, thoughit wasn't clear where the picture had been taken Duo had his arm draped over Heero's shoulders, a winning smile on his face, Heero, no surprise, looked disgruntled. A third picture was of Relena. She was sitting at a banquet table obviously speaking animatedly to those around her; but it was the background that Ash focused on, Heero stood almost completely in the shadows. His expression was blank but Ash could tell his friend's eyes were on Relena.

"No one has any pictures of those two kissing?" he asked looking up at Sally a Wufei.

Wufei smiled a little at that, "Their relationship wasn't really a public thing…" he shrugged, "We were holding bets just to see if someone could see them together."

"Hmm…" Ash considered that taping the new pictures on envelope of the old, "We might just have to change the bet…"

The Chinese man looked intrigued by this, "I'd be up for that, but it'd be best to give them a little more time."

"Fair enough, then what? Everyone puts in a hundred?" Ash asked with an evil smirk.

"At the very least," Wufei replied looking eager.

Sally glanced between the two of them, "And neither of you two care that he'd kill the two of you if he knew you were even considering this?" the question was spoken in dry tones, her arms folding slowly across her chest.

"It only heightens the challenge in not getting caught," Ash returned brightly. "Thanks for the pictures, you wouldn't happen to have any tape I could put them up with?"

"I think I might…" Sally turned away walking from the room.

"Quatre probably has a fair number of pictures, but it'll take a little while to get them here," Wufei mused while they waited, "It would also be worth asking Relena, I'd imagine she'd have quite a few."

"I'll have to remember to ask her," Ash smiled he would have rubbed his hands together if he hadn't been holding the pictures.

Sally came back into the room a role of tape in her hand, "Here."

Ash offered a smile of thanks, as he accepted the offered item, "You'll have to come by sometime and see it." Sally's expression faltered then, and Ash really would have liked to know why she looked so unsure of herself. It made him wonder what he hadn't been told about all of this and why?

"Thanks Sally," Wufei filled the silence moving back towards the door bringing Ash along with him.

Once out in the hall and the door closed behind them, Ash turned to face Ash, "What's her problem?" he asked still keeping his voice quiet.

Wufei glanced back at the door, before he started walking back the way they had come, "Guilt same as the rest of them," he brushed the matter aside, Ash didn't believe that was all, but decided to leave it at that.

Ash split off from Wufei once they reached Heero's door, the Chinese man returning to the room he had been in before as Ash reached out to knock on Heero's door. He found himself half hoping Heero would be asleep, and not just because his friend needed it, but also because he thought it would be more fun to see Heero's reaction once the pictures were up. Having waited a moment after knocking Ash punched in the code and walked quietly into the room unable to believe his luck when he saw that the Japanese's eyes were closed.

Heero's breathing was even if not deep, but it appeared as though he was actually sleeping. Smiling to himself, Ash walked deeper into the room. He was careful not too be too quiet but at the same time not to make too much noise. Knocking something over could wake Heero just as fast as too many small random noises. Ash stood several steps inside the room just looking at the walls for the first time, trying to decide where best to put the pictures. It didn't take him long to settle on the wall across from the end of Heero's bed, it was empty except for the clock, and Heero would easily be able to see it.

WMWMWMW

Heero had woke to the sound of someone knocking on his door, and he had roused himself enough to discover who was going to come walking through that door. He knew the personwould be no threat, but despite himself his right hand gripped the gun a little tighter, as he felt the person walk into the room. Almost immediately he recognized Ash. Heero had woke several times over the years for one reason or another with Ash present in the room. Heero found it similar to waking with Trowa in the room or any of the pilots for that matter, he could easily relax and go back to sleep.

That thought stopped Heero, when had he come to trust Ash so completely? Try as he might to pinpoint a time when it had happened Heero couldn't. Ash had worked slowly and deliberately, showing on more than one occasion just what a stubborn man he could be. Heero relaxed his grip on the gun, content to go back to sleep with Ash in the room, but soft noises pulled him back. It was clear Ash was trying to be undisruptive as he worked, but it was what he was doing that kept Heero from sleep, not the noise he was making.

Slowly opening one eye, Heero focused on Ash's form where he stood near the wall at the foot of the bed. His body was blocking Heero's view, which only caused his curiosity to peek. Opening his other eye Heero watched in silence and listened as Ash actually began to hum to himself rather softly. "You weren't supposed to wake until I was done," Ash said looking back over his shoulder at Heero, an evil smile on his face.

"My apologies," Heero told him dryly.

Ash laughed at that but turned back to the job at hand still shielding Heero's view, his eyes flickered to Heero every now and again, "So…" he began slowly and Heero could hear the smile in his voice, he knew what was coming. "How are you feeling?" without fail, Ash asked him that every time he came in the room.

Heero rolled his eyes debating his options at the moment, there weren't that many to choose from, and he knew if he waited too long…

"Silence isn't an acceptable answer," Ash threwover his shoulder as though he had been reading Heero's thoughts.

"What the hell do you want to hear?" he asked as hisleft hand reached up to massage the skin above his eyes, that persistent headache had returned again.

Ash looked back at him face completely serious, "Just the truth," he said simply.

"I've been worse," he answered honestly.

"It might be sad, that I don't find that entirely hard to believe," Ash spoke more to himself than Heero as he finally stepped away from the wall allowing the Japanese man's eyes to see for the first time what he had been doing.

Heero recognised instantly the pictures Ash had hung on his wall fromseveral years back. He had all but forgotten about them with all that happened since the day they had been pulled off the wall. But there were more now among them, ones he had never seen before, or at the very least, couldn't remember. His eyes worked over them all again and again, trying to understand what he was feeling on seeing them. They were small flashes of time, happy times even when he had been with Ash, and life had been hard, tiny reminders of moments he would never want to forget. He couldn't put words to the emotions that passed through him on seeing a picture of him and Duo together, a display of the friendship they had shared, and still did.

It was a goal he decided, to make it back to that spot, back to the friendship he had had, and had never actually thought he'd need. It was clear to him now how wrong he had been. Heero's eyes slowly looked to Ash, and he found a triumphant smile on his friend's face, "I'm glad you like it," he said brushing his hands off to signal a job well done.

WMWMWMW

John walked into the monitoring room next door to Heero's carrying a small cooler in one hand, his brown eyes were a little surprised to see Wufei sitting in the room. The Chinese man was seated behind the desk onyx eyes focused intently on the computer screen before him, though he did look up briefly when John entered the room. He moved deeper into the room glancing over Wufei's shoulder as he placed the cooler down on the edge of the table, "Chess strategies?" he questioned an eyebrow raised.

Wufei looked up with a dry laugh, "Getting Heero to eat has come down to a chess game every time, where at the very least he ends up eating half of what I bring him." Wufei turned the chair so he was more fully looking at John, "If I win he eats it all."

"Well at least he's still eating some…" John shook his head, Heero could be such a stubborn boy, "He's been getting more difficult, but I'm hoping I've found something that might be a nice treat."

"Oh?" Wufei questioned sounding very curious. John removed the lid of the cooler allowing the former pilot to looking inside at the contents, "Well it's certainly worth a shot," he smiled a little at that.

"That's what I was thinking," John returned the expression and shut the cooler. His eyes sought out the monitor which displayed the image of Heero's room. He saw Ash sitting with the Japanese boy, both pouring over the chess board Ash had bought. "That was an excellent gift," he spoke softly drawing a nod from Wufei as the Chinese man returned to the computer screen before him. Inadvertently learning what he had wanted to know John took hold of the cooler and walked back out of the room making his way to Heero's.

WMWMWMW

Heero's eyes studied both the chess board and his opponent. Ash never appeared to think all that much ahead of his moves, he would pause for a moment make sure he wasn't about to sacrifice any of his pieces and then move one seemingly at random. It was the complete opposite to the way Heero played, he had the entire game mapped out in his head, various methods and strategies for whatever Ash might throw at him. But it was hard to account and predict such randomness, more often than not Ash managed to mess up a forming plan, causing Heero to rethink.

It was frustrating to say the very least, and Heero wondered if he'd be able to win this game. Ash smirked to himself clearly knowing this new strategy of his appeared to be working wonders, Heero was grateful of one thing, that food was not riding on the outcome of this game. "You're move," Ash smiled.

Heero refocused his attention on the board, but his thoughts were broken by a knock on his door. Both of them looked up watching as John came walking into the room, the cooler he carried in one hand caused Heero a moments pause as he wondered what he could possibly be carrying in there.

"Even' Doc," Ash greeted with an easy smile.

"Evening," John returned coming to a stop at the edge of the bed eyes studying the game as he placed the cooler down on the table. Heero watched as John's eyes happened to make a random sweep of the room and then stopped dead on the pictures Ash had hung on the wall. He walked over to them eyes intently looking each over, "This was your idea Ash?" he asked looking back over his shoulder.

Ash smiled brightly, "Thought the room could use a little decoration."

"Not one to smile for pictures Heero?" John asked rhetorically smiling in the former pilot's direction.

"He's not much for smiling, period," Ash chuckled, Heero's brow drew down at that, only causing Ash to smile more, "See!"

"Hn," Heero grunted making a move on the chess board.

"Wufei was telling me it was a game of chess before every meal," John commented walking back to his original position. "And since you're in the middle of this one I thought I'd bring you a treat."

Heero looked at him questioningly, as half his attention was on Ash and the move he was about to make. John opened the cooler and removed a small container along with a spoon, and placed them both before Heero. "Vanilla ice cream…" he read the name on the container, it was not an entirely new concept to him, Relena had mentioned the stuff on several occasions, and he had seen the sign declaring its sale in many stores, but never had any real interest in trying it.

"Go on, give it a try," Ash prompted watching intently to see Heero's reaction to it.

"You've never shown Heero ice cream?" John asked sounding more than a little surprised.

Ash shrugged, "I can't eat the stuff," he admitted.

"Hmm?" that raised eyebrows.

"Lactose intolerant," Ash explained, and that struck Heero, he hadn't known that about his friend, there had never been an occasion to find out.

Heero reached out for the spoon, wondering what all the hype was actually about, Relena had spoken of ice cream with excitement, and he had seen more than one child squeal with delight when receiving a cone. Could anything be that good? It was softer than he had expected it to be and easily scooped up onto the spoon. He studied it for a moment not in too much of a rush to put it in his mouth with both John and Ash almost leaning over him in anticipation. Slowly he moved the spoon to his mouth tasting the sugary substance for the first time, it overwhelmed his taste buds, and was easily unlike anything he had ever had before.

He decided he liked the cold way it coated his mouth, and the refreshing feeling as it slid down his throat. It was a trivial discovery, it had not real benefits there was no reason a person _had_ to eat it, and Heero thought that might be why he liked it. Never in his life had he been given a chance to indulge in something useless, his entire life had been structured with purpose to everything. Even after that part of his life had come to an end, Heero had found himself uncomfortable with the idea of stepping beyond the basics, they kept him alive, and in the end that was really all he needed. Taking a second spoonful, Heero decided he had at least been missing out on one thing.

Thanks for Reading!

**It's a Slow Process**:

"Sally," a pleasant voice spoke her name with some surprise, and she spun around to see John smiling warmly at her, he had just walked from the monitoring room next to Heero's. "Everything alright?" he asked with some concern.

_No of course it isn't!_ Sally thought darkly, but at the same time she knew John well enough to know that wasn't what he meant. He was more than aware of how hard this was on her, he had been incredibly patient and far more understanding than she deserved. "I…" her voice failed her, and she looked away, "I was just wondering how Heero's doing." It was an entirely new feeling to know almost nothing one of the pilots, not that she felt she truly had a right to know now.

"Physically, mentally, or emotionally?" John asked back with a smile in his voice.

Sally's lips twitched at that, she couldn't help but feel a little better in John's presences there was just something about the old doctor that was so comforting, "All of the above…" she said quietly.

"Emotionally and mentally, I'd say he's doing a lot better now that Ash is here, it's helped him and the others relax," John folded his arms across his chest. "No telling how long it'll last once Ash has to return to the colonies, but it's been a nice break," Sally looked him in the eye for the first time, glad to hear things were going well, and at the same time guilty because she didn't have a right to feel this way. "I can tell he's getting frustrated with the pace of his recovery, getting him to eat has been a challenge but I've found something that he actually likes," John's smile was incredibly wide at that.

"Oh?" Sally couldn't help but ask, feeling a little drawn in by John's clear excitement.

"Ice cream!" John exclaimed, his arms spreading in emphases, "He likes ice cream!"

Sally blinked in shock, taking a moment to actually understand what John had just said, "He ate ice cream?" for some reason she had a hard time picturing that.

"And liked it," John nodded, his excitement subsided a little then, though a smiled still lit his features. "It you want to know how he's doing physically why don't you come in with me?" the old doctor offered, "I was just about to go in and give him a check-up."

"No I couldn't," Sally paled at the very notion.

"Nothing will ever change if you don't start seeing him more," John told her in his gentle yet firm voice, "You already know that's what Heero wants."

"Doesn't make it any easier," she returned with a slow shake of her head.

"You know nothing will, you're just going to have to fight through it," John reached out a strong hand to take hold of her right arm, "And what better time than now?"

Sally hesitated looking away, she had just wanted to ask how he was doing, not this, she wasn't ready for this…

Morganeth Taren'drel


	41. It's a Slow Process

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: I'm terribly sorry for the delay, in hopes of making up for it I'm putting out another double chapter, I hope I can avoid this for the next posting. But unfortunately some things are just out of my control. I'd like to assure all of you wonderful readers out there, that I will never give up on Mistaken Words no matter how long it takes! I hope you'll all stick with me! Thank you!

To my wonderful editors Pious Knight and morgansgirl, you two are truly saints to put up with me! Thank you!

**Mini Nicka**: Thank you for the review! More romance is coming I promise you that, it's just taken a while to get Relena and Heero back together. As for the spaces, I noticed that when I went to check some of the chapters on have been a glitch or something when I posted them. Also there will be no Trowa Quatre paring in this story, thanks again for the review!

**savannah**: Thank you! sorry for the long delay! I hope these two chapters make up for it!

**Raizard333**: It's about time they threw Sally in there, but never doubt John's powers of persuasion (smiles). Lauren Stokes vs Heero Yuy (laughs) very much a clash of the titans, I'm really looking forward to posting those chapters! Thanks so much for the review!

**darthchibichibi**: Thank you so much! Sorry this took so long!

**IchikoKitsuneKoumori**: Wow, your name's a mouthful (smiles) but I like it! Ice cream truly is the best! Thanks for the review!

**L.A.UNE**: Thank you so much! As of this moment I'm without my precious little laptop...so I feel your pain! Thankfully I'm still able to work on the story. Thank you so much for waiting patiently, I'm sorry I had to make you wait at all! but thank you!

**TheEvilAshleyness**: I'm really really really really really really Sorry! I didn't want it to take this long at all! Thank you for the review!

**D3**: Thank you so much! I think I have to give credit to neekabe for the gun fair remark...somehow I think it did end up coming from her (laughs). When you think about it Heero never really got to have a childhood so now's as good a time as any (smiles) I do hope he's still in character. Thank you for the reviews!

**ghostreader**: Thank you so much! I never imagined Ash having such a large role in this story when I first started writing it, but he's been a great help while trying to bring Heero and the other pilots back together. Thanks for the review!

**Allura01**: Thank you! You know there was a time when I couldn't write at all, and honestly it's like someone flipped a switch in my brain, and suddenly I was writing stuff that might actually be worth reading. (smiles) I'm really pleased at the reaction I've received for the 'Gun Fair' remark (laughs) I couldn't think of a better way to end that scene! Thank you so much for the review!

**Auza-Isaka-Winner**: wow...this has to be the weirdest review I've ever received (smiles) you get first prize! although I'll confess I have no idea what the prize is, but you get it and have bragging rights! Thank you so much for the review! I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

**Kalorna Enera**: (smiles) thank so much! you can use the gun fairy if you want to (smiles) just too funny to pass up! Quatre's entry wasn't what you expected? (thinking) what was Quatre's entry? that's just terrible (laughs) I can't remember it at all right now! Thank you! I really have no expectations of Ash and John being so popular, they're both really fun to write! As for Dante and Une, I'm not quite sure what you mean by 'carry' they're the pairing I'd like to stick with, the only question is when do they make it public knowledge. Noin? I haven't exactly forgotten about her, but with so many characters already it feels like a balancing act to me. I should try to make an effort for her to at least make an appearance...and I think I know where too (smiles) Thanks again for the wonderful reviews!

**rayshine**: Thank you! I hope you enjoy these two chapters as much! I'm glad you enjoyed the scene with the picture (smiles) it's not the end of them either! Ash gets to have a lot of fun! Thank you again for the review

**Featherbird**: Thank you so much for the review! I'm a rather firm believer in long sentences (laughs) I think I give my editors a lot to work on! Thanks again!

**Wufei-the-back-side-slayer**: (smiles) thanks for the review Kie! Things between Heero and Relena are getting easier...as in I've written them, and I hope it won't be too long before you're reading them. As for Dante I can promise you that he is not a bad guy, poor guy keeps getting mistaken for one though (laughs). Congratulations on becoming an author! Unfortunately I hardly have the time to write on Mistaken Words, I wish you all the best with your writing! Thank you for your review!

**lil'demon**: Hurray! another double chapter! I hope it can make up a little for just how late this has been. Pictures and ice cream! you haven't seen the last of those! a cherry eh? I don't know about that...(smiles) Thanks for the review!

**Dont Ask Why**: Thank you! Thank you so much! I hope the next forty leave you feeling the same way! (laughs) I don't know that there will be that many exactly, but we still have a long way to go. I hope you continue to enjoy the story! Thank you again! I'm truly flattered!

**Sage-Doomhunter**: No worries! they'll be more chapters waiting for you when you get back here (smiles) I hope you enjoy them all! Thanks as always!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gundam Wing

**It's a Slow Process**

Sally walked from her apartment thatevening. The conference had been in full gear for most of the week, and from all she had heard it was going well. This was notthe first time shewas glad she had chosen to follow a medical career as opposedto a political one. She didn't think she could stand sitting in the same room negotiating with all those people. Sally felt pretty sure she'd end up dealing with all those old men in a similar way she did the pilots, just take control and leave no other options. It was enough for her to watch the news and hear from Une about the progress of the conference, she trusted all of them to handle whatever problems might need to be dealt with.

Now standing in the hall with her back to the door, Sally couldn't help but look down the hall to the one door she feared to go through. She had only been in Heero's room once, that one time both John and Wufei had deceived her. A part of Sally was angry even now that they had felt the need to do that to her, yet at the same time it had given her a chance to speak with Heero. She now knew exactly how he was viewing all this, and even if she couldn't yet bring herself to accept his view, she had at least made the first step in talking to him. Sally still felt more often than not as though her heart were clamped in a vice of guilt. The feeling ate away at her, and she would have done anything, if anything had actually been possible, to remove it.

Sally took several slow steps towards Heero's door knowingdeep down that her guiltwould never fully go away, but perhaps time would dull its knife. The only hope she had that she might find a way to cope with it would be to find some way to make it up to Heero. He had said he wanted things back the way they had been, Sally dreamed it could be so easy. To just go back and change it all, pretend like it never happened wasn't an option. The marks on all there lives were too clear to see.

She sighed infrustration. What good did it dojust standing here thinking about it or sitting in her apartment torturing herself over it all? As Heero had made clear, there was no point to it, but that didn't mean she could just walk through his door as though nothing had happened and pick up from three years ago. Sally's hands clenched into fists, as she turned away from the door, she just couldn't do it, she couldn't walk through it.

"Sally," a pleasant voice spoke her name with some surprise, and she spun around to see John smiling warmly at her, he had just walked from the monitoring room next to Heero's. "Everything alright?" he asked with some concern.

_No, of course it isn't!_ Sally thought darkly, but at the same time she knew John well enough to know that wasn't what he meant. He was more than aware of how hard this was on her, he had been incredibly patient and far more understanding than she deserved. "I…" her voice failed her, and she looked away, "I was just wondering how Heero's doing." It was an entirely new feeling to know almost nothing about the welfareone of the pilots, not that she felt she truly had a right to know now.

"Physically, mentally, or emotionally?" John asked back with a smile in his voice.

Sally's lips twitched at that, she couldn't help but feel a little better in John's presence. There was just something about the old doctor that was so comforting, "All of the above…" she said quietly.

"Emotionally and mentally, I'd say he's doing a lot better now that Ash is here, it's helped him and the others relax," John folded his arms across his chest. "No telling how long it'll last once Ash has to return to the colonies, but it's been a nice break," Sally looked him in the eye for the first time, glad to hear things were going well, and at the same time guilty because she didn't have a right to feel this way. "I can tell he's getting frustrated with the pace of his recovery, getting him to eat has been a challenge but I've found something that he actually likes," John's smile was incredibly wide at that.

"Oh?" Sally couldn't help but ask, feeling a little drawn in by John's clear excitement.

"Ice cream!" John exclaimed, his arms spreading in emphases, "He likes ice cream!"

Sally blinked in shock, taking a moment to actually understand what John had just said, "He ate ice cream?" for some reason she had a hard time picturing that.

"And liked it," John nodded, his excitement subsided a little then, though a smiled still lit his features. "It you want to know how he's doing physically why don't you come in with me?" the old doctor offered, "I was just about to go in and give him a check-up."

"No, I couldn't," Sally paled at the very notion.

"Nothing will ever change if you don't start seeing him more," John told her in his gentle yet firm voice, "You already know that's what Heero wants."

"Doesn't make it any easier," she returned with a slow shake of her head.

"You know nothing will, you're just going to have to fight through it," John reached out a strong hand to take hold of her right arm, "And what better time than now?"

Sally hesitated looking away, she had just wanted to ask how he was doing, not this, she wasn't ready for this…

"How many times do I have to tell you," John broke through her thoughts, "You can't keep thinking about it, you'll never move forward. Just come, lend me a hand, you'll feel better for it I know." John's grip on her arm didn't leave, but rather slid down and took hold of her wrist, "If you can't decide yourself I'll do it for you."

That had Sally pulling out of John's grip but not out of fear butmore out offrustration and anger, "No…" she shook her head, "It can't keep happening this way."

"You can't keep avoiding him either," John said firmly.

"I know…" she breathed looking away.

John crossed his arms over his chest watching her with an incredibly steady gaze, "So what's it going to be?"

Sally walked several steps away feeling put on the spot and not liking it at all, but at the same time she knew it was forcing her to think of things she hadn't let herself yet. She wanted to walk into Heero's room of her own free will, but wasn't quite able to yet. "I don't have a right to face him…" she whispered, it was the strongest argument she had, it stopped her dead every time.

"That's just selfish Sally!" John called out to her back, and she could just imagine the serious expression on his face, looking very much like he was admonishing one of his children. "You want to make it up to him, but how can you if you don't go to see him?"

It was true, there was no denying it, she had said the very same thing to herself on more than one occasion but it didn't make a difference. She could say it to herself a thousand times, would she be able to make herself walk through that door? Sally forced herself to look at Heero's door, knowing full well she couldn't cross that threshold yet. "I…" she couldn't think of what to say and just shook her head in frustration.

"You're stronger than this Sally," saidher friend and mentor, whosounded now as though he was pleading with her, still his words held a steely undercurrent, he wasn't going to let this go.

Before Sally knew it her anger had escaped her tentative hold, "That's easy for you to say!" she flared spinning to face him. "You're on the sidelines, you haven't had to try and deal with the guilt!"

"It is easy for me to say," John agreed calmly, "But that doesn't make it any less true." He stepped towards laying both his hands on her shoulders and ducking his head so he was looking her directly in the eye. "I'm not telling you to go in there and act like nothing happened, that's just not possible. But I can tell you that Heero doesn't want apologies and guilty consciences, he just wants his friends back."

"I want it back to the way things were, but…" Sally looked away unable to continue the eye contact she felt as though John was seeing right through her.

"Like I said, you don't have to try and act like nothing happened," John was a determined man, to say the very least. "Try for something smaller first, just walk in there and look Heero in the eyes, it's the best first step you can make."

Could she do that? Could she walk into Heero's room and actually look him directly in the eyes? Sally ground her teeth in frustration, she wanted to say "Yes I can! I can at least do that!" but she couldn't form the words, she was being held back by her fear and self-hatred. One thing she was able to realize, through both her own knowledge and what John said to her, was that none of this would get any better if she didn't make the first move. She wondered if Heero had not been confined to the bed, would he have sought her out? As ridiculous as it was to imagine a situation she wasn't even in, Sally would have liked to think Heero would have hounded her. She remembered his words when she had gone in to see him and what John was telling her now, this was what Heero wanted, if she could only bite the bullet and do it.

Drawing in a shaking breath, Sally attempted to steady her nerves, telling herself again and again that this was the right thing to do. "Alright…" she spoke finally turning towards the door, through the corner of her eyes she saw John smile proudly.

WMWMWMW

Heero was bored, it wasn't the first time and he doubted it would be the last, but if he had any say in this, it would certainly be less often. Ash's visits weren't enough, he didn't feel much like sleeping during most of the day. He was wide awake and restless, but with nothing to do he could feel his patience slipping, and was glad for the fact that he was alone. Sighing Heero looked to the clock, and sighed again with frustration when he saw just how much time he could still have to wait for Trowa to come.

Trowa's appearances were never at the exact same time. He tried to let Heero know ahead of time if he was going to be much later or earlier. But no matter the time he came he always wanted to make sure Heero got at least some sleep during the night. He knew right away there was just no way he was going to be able to sleep yet, and doubted he'd feel more like it in a couple of hours. Heero brought his left hand up before his eyes slowly flexing his fingers, it had become a great deal easier to use his left arm since he had first started doing things on his own. He tired quickly and was left with a fiery burn in the muscles after, but that was a feeling he had missed.

He thought it might have been nice to have a laptop to work with, Heero moved his left hand to the table, his fingers unconsciously tapping on the hard cold plastic. It would be nice to have something to use up this empty time. Perhaps one of the pilots could give him something, but he doubted they still had his laptop though that would have been nice. Still there were probably far better models now, but he had liked his system.

Someone knocked on the door, breaking Heero's aimless train of thoughts and he turned to watch and see who came in. He figured it would be John. At this time of day, he didn't often have visitors that weren't John. But to Heero's complete surprise it was Sally who walked through that door, her head up and eyes looking directly at him. He thought her expression appeared determined and watching a pleased looking John follow in behind her, Heero guessed she had finally walked through that door of her own free will. Her eyes flickered away from him a little but she kept them coming back, she was trying to make the first step.

"How're you feeling tonight?" John asked walking to the edge of Heero's bed, resting a hand on the table as he looked down at the former pilot.

John didn't demand the sort of answer Ash did, the old doctor knew perhaps better than any besides Heero himself how the Japanese man was feeling. But it seemed a habit for him to ask some variation of that question, not only that, but he seemed to get a kick out of seeing Heero's reaction to hearing it for what must have been the thousandth time by now. Heero chose not to answer as he usually did with a monotone 'fine' instead he decided to speak at least some truth, "Bored."

"I can certainly understand that," John said with a nod of his head, and Heero was grateful not to receive sympathy, he didn't want that, he just wanted something to use up his time. "Sally and I could play a couple games of chess with you, when we're done here if you like…" he offered glancing back to Sally to see her reaction to the suggestion.

It wasn't exactly what he wanted but at least it could occupy some time, but Heero really wasn't thinking about that right now. _When we're done here?_ he thought glancing between the two of them, _Done what?_ It didn't take much to guess what both of them would be doing in his room, and Heero felt his patience slip another notch. The last thing he wanted to deal with was being poked and prodded by not one, but two doctors. Heero was careful to keep his reaction concealed despite the fact he didn't want to deal with this right now, the fact that Sally was in the room out weighted almost everything else. He had said he wanted things back to the way there were, but with Sally it would take a long time, so he'd have to be patient or risk pushing her away.

"Have you seen the pictures Ash put up?" John asked Sally as he moved from Heero's bed to the cupboards, slowly removing a few necessary items.

Heero watched Sally as she stepped over to the wall, looking at the pictures Ash had been so proud of, "Where did these other pictures come from?" Sally glanced back at him her right hand pointing at one of the pictures of himself with Ash.

"Ash had someone take a few of them," Heero explained eyes looking at the pictures that he could actually see with Sally standing there, "The others I think he got off security camera's."

"A resourceful man," John commented turning away from his search to walk towards Sally, "And determined," he smiled rather pointedly at Heero, but the former pilot was more interested in what John carried in each hand. He recognised the stethoscope that John pressed into Sally's hand, but couldn't tell what was in the small black case John kept to himself. Coming back over to Heero's right side John pulled the blankets down to Heero's waist, and motioned for Sally to come over as well.

She hesitated for just a moment, coming towards him with more confidence than she had shown the first time she came to see him still it wasn't what he remembered. Heero wasn't used to this Sally at all, she had always been more self- assured, to the point of getting in their faces. Something no one else would dare try even unaware of who they really were. It surprised Heero, how much he didn't like this, as much as he had tired to avoid Sally's attention whenever possible, the lack of it now was just one more example of how far away they all were. Nevertheless it was a beginning, something they could only move forward from. Silently she walked towards the bed, and Heero found himself splitting his attention between the two of them.

Heero watched John as he opened the case and began tying a tourniquet around the upper part of his arm, while at the same time keeping enough of his attention on Sally that he wouldn't be caught off guard, and could respond to her quiet requests. John expertly inserted the needle in the vein and began extracting vials for testing. "His lungs sound clear," Sally told John quietly as she continued to look Heero over.

"Excellent," John proclaimed as he pressed a small cotton ball to Heero's elbow. The former pilot found his eyes draw to Sally, and her hand which was ever so lightly tracing down the new scars left by Luc's knife. Heero's skin twitched despite himself at the ghosting touch and he wanted to ask her to stop. He didn't want to remember exactly what had caused them, didn't want to be reminded of the helpless feeling in the pit of his being.

She glanced up at him a little, and her hand jerked away from him, though she did not yet straighten, "You're so thin…" she breathed as though trying to cover what she had been actually thinking about.

Heero was surprised she had said it at all, several responses jumped into his head, but he bit back all of them, knowing Sally wouldn't take them as well as she used too.

"Try getting him to eat," John said aiming a pointed look Heero's way.

"Just not hungry," Heero said in even tones.

Sally stood a little straighter from the bed, eyes still looking down at Heero's thin chest, "Since when would that matter?" the question seemed more for just herself, but the tone was something of what Heero remembered. She wouldn't have stood for any excuse.

Heero found himself feeling slightly stunned by the fact that she had just spoke along with what she had said. Glancing towards John he saw the old doctor was feeling the same way, "You know, it really shouldn't," John agreed quickly with a smile on his face, which he directed at Sally. "It would certainly save time not having to play a game of chess each time," his attention turned to Heero then.

"You're only saying that because you don't win," Heero threw back half joking, and at the same time partly serious. He didn't want to lose that control that he had over when and how he ate.

"Wufei seems to have become rather good at the game," John drawled slowly his smile appearing mischievous, and Heero wondered if John was considering getting the Chinese pilot.

Heero shook his head at that, "Even he loses sometimes," it certainly wasn't as often as the others, but it did happen. Heero really liked playing against Wufei, the Chinese man looked at the game in almost the exact same way Heero did, making the outcome a question almost to the end.

John sighed softly, "Which is exactly why we have to find something else," he reached out to close Heero's shirt and return the blankets to their previous location. "You're just not taking enough in," a couple of bitter retorts entered Heero's mind at that, he didn't want or need them scripting his life, but with Sally in the room he quickly though better of it, and chose to glare at the old doctor. "What sort of methods have you used in the past, Sally?"

Sally had been watching the two of them in silence, and blinked appearing startled by the sudden question. Heero found himself holding his breath, the last thing he wanted was John to know some of Sally's methods for dealing with them. Already he found it hard enough to refuse John at times, the old doctor was good about getting what he wanted done. "I used a little more force that would be appropriate right now…" Sally answered finally, her eyes touching on Heero's face before they returned to John.

Heero could easily remember a perfect example of what she was hinting at. When the war had ended Heero had woken to find himself in a hospital bed, with Sally waiting for him to wake, she hadn't been happy. So very different from now, she had blasted him for taking such risks with his life, and causing her so much trouble, and time. Nothing at all like now, when he had tried to leave, no longer wanting to deal with her hovering over him making sure he ate every bite she had brought the other pilots in, having them hold him down. They had helped her almost gleefully.

"Hmmmm…" John mused softly, Heero didn't like the look he was seeing in those brown eyes. "I suppose if it came down to it I could always have someone hold you down while I feed you," he said finally with an evil grin.

_Shit!_ Heero thought darkly, John apparently didn't need Sally's experiences he appeared to think along the same lines all on his own. "Not a good idea," he voiced drawing John's eyes down to him, "I bite."

"Never tired that with me…" Sally nearly whispered.

John laughed, "That's cause he likes you more," he gave Sally a pointed smile and became serious again very quickly, "I think we'd all like to avoid that unpleasantness, so would you just eat what I bring you?"

WMWMWMW

Trowa strode down the ornate halls of the royal palace, his eyes didn't pay much attention to the finery, he preferred things simple, uncluttered and without fanfare. Unless, that is, he was at the circus. There was fanfare there, but everything still remained simple. He didn't know how Zechs could live among all this stuff, Trowa knew a great deal of it was historical, special items put on display to both remember where they had come from and what they had gone through to make it back to this point. Trowa had a feeling this was about as close to a medieval castle as he was ever going to get. It took a great deal of people to maintain such a large estate, and Trowa passed several maids as he transgressed the halls moving steadily closer to his destination.

He had been called by Quatre, his friend wanting him to stop by before he once more had to return to the colonies. It was early evening, about the only free time Quatre had with the conference and media assemblies. As much as Trowa wanted to see his friend he had been dreading this call, and had done his best to dodge it during most of the week. It was hard to lie to the other pilots about Heero, but he did it, would keep doing it for as long as that was what Heero wanted. But Quatre was a different matter, the gentle blond could at times seem to see through someone, feel their pain, to the point of being in agony himself.

Despite himself, during the war Trowa had become friends with the unusually outgoing pilot, it was like there had been a healing when he was around Quatre. The war didn't seem too impossible, the horrors of the past, just a little less sharp. One time in particular always stood out to Trowa, when he had come upon the blond playing his violin, the melody had been beautiful, and almost of their own accord his hands had reached for the flute. Though the moment had been fleeting, for a few brief minutes Trowa had allowed himself to forget the war, all that he was fighting for and against, and even more important, all that he didn't know about himself. He had poured all those emotions into the notes of the song, and let them float away.

Coming to a slow stop outside Quatre's rooms, Trowa tired to prepare himself for the meeting. Quatre had sounded very relieved to have finally caught Trowa on the phone. He hated doing that to him, but it was the easiest way to keep Heero's secret to avoid them all. Trowa knocked lightly on the door before slowly opening it, knowing full well that Quatre was waiting for him just inside the room. As expected his entrance was greeted with a bright smile as Quatre stood from his chair to meet him, the shorter blond accepted Trowa's offered hand firmly.

"I'm so glad I was able to get hold of you," he smiled brightly motioning for Trowa to take a seat, "Would you like some tea?"

Trowa let a hint of a smile touch his lips at that, as he draped his light coat over the arm of the chair and sat down across from his friend; he could still remember the first time he had ever had tea. Before that first occasion Trowa had only drank the bitter concoction the mercenaries had called coffee. He had later learned by the standards of most coffee that their version was not supposed to be so unappealing. The first taste of Quatre's tea had been shockingly sweet, at least by comparison, but he had found he rather liked it. Accepting the delicate tea cup Trowa settled back in the chair taking his first slow sip. The silence between them stretched on, but Quatre was used to it willing to wait for the moment that felt right to speak again.

"How's Cathrine been?" Quatre asked then placing his cup on the table between them.

"Fine," he replied doing likewise, and reached down into the front pocket of his jacket, "She wanted you to have this," Trowa removed a wrapped bundle and passed it over to Quatre.

The president's smile widened if that was possible, "What is it?" he brought the unknown bundle to his nose smelling it.

"Fresh tea leaves she found in a market," Cathrine was almost as great a lover of tea as Quatre, she loved to find new kinds of teas, and send part of them to the president to try.

"Thank her for me," Quatre smiled placing the package safely on the table, Trowa nodded knowing full well an elaborate thank you letter would shortly follow. "How have you been?" he asked then studying Trowa intently.

"Busy," he said with a shrug, it was at least partly true.

"So I've heard," the president picked up his teacup again, "You've been finding time for sleep though?"

"Some," Trowa was sure his one word answers would bother most people but Quatre wasn't one of them. The blond accepted him, and could read his body language better than most, which was what had Trowa so concerned about Quatre seeing through any potential lies he might have to make.

"I had been hoping to see you with Relena at the conference," Quatre sounded a little disappointed at that.

Trowa let that almost invisible smile touch his face again, "Duo owed me a favour," Trowa didn't mind standing guard over Relena at such boring conferences. But relations had been stressed between them lately, and to find the time to get everything done that came at him in a day, while also going to see Heero during the night.

"Relena told me what she said to you," Quatre's expression had changed, it wasn't pity, more like he was feeling remorse, empathising with Trowa's emotions. It didn't help that Trowa couldn't help but flinch at his friends words, it didn't matter that Heero considered that incident in the past, Trowa was still trying to find a way to deal with it. "I'm sorry," Quatre was quick to apologies, "It's just, if you wanted to talk about it…" he left it open, clearly not wanting to pressure Trowa.

Slowly shaking his head, Trowa tried to think of how to change the conversation, the last thing he wanted to do was dwell on this subject. There wouldn't be much hope for him concealing his actual standing with Heero if they did. "How's the conference going?" he asked changing the subject, at least a little.

Quatre appeared disappointed for a moment, but the expression slid from his face, "As well as can be expected I think. We've made some real progress, and I believe the ESUN has come to accept Dante and Freedom's Point without fear."

"Now if we can only take out the Inner Circle before they go public," that was the surest way to maintain the peace. Trowa didn't doubt that there'd be more than one obstacle in their way, most likely the news media would view this concealing of facts as reprehensible. To Trowa's way of thinking, the media was a prime example of the human race as a mass group, freaking out over every little thing, reviling in the darkest parts of human life. Best to leave them all blissfully unaware, and deal with any repercussions after the fact, as it was said, 'it's easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission' or in this case try and keep the world from a mass panic.

"I'm glad Dante's aware of the situation, it'll certainly make everything easier," the young president commented, his blue-green eyes continued to regard Trowa with an almost searching light. The conversation may have changed course but Trowa was pretty sure Quatre hadn't given up on the previous discussion. "With how busy you've been I doubt you'd have had time to meet Ash?" it really wasn't a question, and Trowa shook his head in response. He had seen Ash on the video files of Heero's room but had yet to actually meet the remarkable man in person. It had amazed him to see how much Heero and the others all relaxed in Ash's presence, he had been reassured to know there was someone who could help.

"So what's been keeping you so busy?" Quatre asked then, his head tilting to the side as though that new angle might gleam more information from staring at Trowa's face.

"Circus mostly, their tenth year, so there's been more performances," that statement was almost entirely true Trowa was relieved to know. Almost every night this week, leading up to the day the circus had done its first show, the ringmaster had been searching for something new, and Cathrine and his performance was no different. Trowa had had several ideas that could be used to liven up Cathrine's knife throwing, all of them more dangerous than him merely standing against a wooden board. To his utter surprise Cathrine had been all for them, her only comment was a joking 'Just don't try to die.'

"Did they require you turn your cell phone off?" Quatre arched an eyebrow at that, he already knew the answer.

Trowa sighed inaudibly, Quatre wasn't going to leave it alone, it had been wishful thinking on Trowa's part to even imagine his friend wouldn't be concerned by his disappearing act. The silence stretched on in endless moments between them, Trowa trying to think of a reasonable response he could give knowing full well the longer he waited the less there'd be. "I just didn't feel like dealing with people," it was a lame answer he knew, but at this point it was the best he had.

"And if Relena needed you or Une?" the young president fired back quickly.

"There are other ways to reach me," Trowa shrugged the matter aside.

Quatre shifted to the edge of his seat staring Trowa directly in the eyes, emerald met aqua because avoiding them would have only cause more problems. "You shouldn't avoid him Trowa, that's not what he wants," Quatre was adamant.

"I'm dealing with it in my own way," he again tried to brush it aside he didn't want to get mad at his friend over a lie, and apparently some of that showed through his mask, as Quatre drew back suddenly looking at him as though for the first time.

"Have you been to see him?" he asked not sounding as though he expected an answer, and Trowa couldn't deny it. "You have! Were you the one who brought Heero the gun?" Trowa couldn't bring himself to refute that either, and he watched as Quatre's features fell some, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Trowa leaned forward a little in his seat, "Heero wanted it that way," he explained disappointed that yet another person was aware of this, and at the same time relieved that he didn't have to lie to Quatre any more, "It gave him a sense of control."

"How long were you planning on continuing this?" Quatre asked sounding more than a little displeased.

"As long Heero wanted to," Trowa said bluntly coming to his feet, and stepping away from the chairs.

Quatre shook his head in what appeared to be disbelief, "Did you even consider what we would think?" he demanded of his friend, "I've been worried about you, and Relena been tearing herself up over what she said to you."

Biting back a harsh reply Trowa couldn't keep all the heat from his voice, "After all we've said and done to Heero you expect me to go against him!"

That gave Quatre a moment pause, Trowa knew he wouldn't be able to say he had made the wrong choice. But at the same time he knew Quatre wasn't satisfied with how this conversation had been going. Finally Quatre sighed his shoulders relaxing as his head dropped and he looked at his clasped hands, "I understand the position you were in…" he began but Trowa wasn't going to let him finish.

"There was no other option, Heero didn't want anyone, and frankly I preferred it that way," folding his arms across his chest Trowa sighed also, the heat from before leaving his voice. He didn't want to fight with Quatre over this, didn't want to fight with his friend at all.

They watched each other for a while the silence feeling less strained at time went on, finally Quatre smiles. "Well I'm just glad I know," he came to his feet as well, everything appearing to be back to normal. Trowa looked at him rather pointedly, not feeling he actually had to say what was on his mind but wanting to be sure nonetheless. Quatre smiled as though reading Trowa's mind as he reached for the teapot, "Don't worry, I won't even let Heero know, so long as that's how he wants it. Would you like another cup of tea?" he was already moving to make some more before Trowa even nodded his head.

Thanks for Reading!

**Parting Ways**:

"Good morning," he greeted with that same gentle smile he had always worn when speaking with anyone, "Did you sleep well?"

Heero shifted again trying to find a little comfort, "More than I wanted…"

That drew a chuckle from Quatre, "I heard what Ash did yesterday."

"He's as bad as Sally," Heero said reached for his glass of water, feeling his mouth was really dry right now. It was an effort to get the straw to lips, but Heero was glad Quatre didn't try to help. He wanted his independence. Quatre did, however take hold of a pitcher of water and refill his nearly empty cup. After putting the pitcher aside, Quatre walked around the bed and took a seat in the plush chair, Heero turned his head away from the cup and looked more closely at Quatre his cobalt eyes also noting the date calendar, it read June 18. "I thought you were leaving when Ash and Dante did…"

"That was the original plan," Quatre nodded resting his head on his palm, "But I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye first."

"You came in last night?" he asked taking hold of the light blankets covering him he wanted to push them back as far as he could. For some reason he had begun to feel to warm under them.

"I did," Quatre confirmed, "But I didn't want to wake you then, so I thought I'd wait a day, I didn't want to raise any eyebrows, so I took Relena out to a private dinner." He grinned then leaning back in his chair, "Of course the press was all over it, and I suppose I should be the one to tell you our engagement has been announced in several papers, and Relena's pregnancy in a few of the less reputable ones…"

Heero's eyebrows raised, "All this while I was sleeping?"

"I'm apparently very talented."

"I thought you had enough women throwing themselves at you, why'd you have to take mine?" his tone was sardonic.

Quatre laughed outright at that and his mirth was contagious drawing out a fraction of a smile on Heero's face. "Just a little incentive for you to get back on your feet,"

Morganeth Taren'drel


	42. Parting Ways

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: here's the second chapter I hope you all enjoy it! I really hope you don't have to wait too long for the next one, but my apologies in advance if it happens. Thank you all so much! you've all made this story so worth while!

Pious Knight and morgansgirl, I couldn't do this without either of you! Thank you!

**Disclaimer**: Oddly enough I still don't own Gundam Wing...

**Parting Ways**

"Ash…" Heero asked opening his eyes as his friend walked into the room, early in the morning. "Are those pictures procreating?" his eyes moved from Ash's face to the pictures hanging on the wall, during the week Heero had noticed a new picture almost everyday. But they had been appearing in greater numbers these last few days, almost always while he was asleep.

"Good morning to you too," Ash said with his usual cheeky smiles, before looking at the same wall Heero was still considering. "Amazing isn't it?" he asked stepping towards them leaning close before smoothing his hand over a few.

"Not particularly," Heero answered dryly lips twitching as he said it.

"Everyone's been more than willing to add to this wonderful collection," Ash smiled walking over to Heero's bedside, "I plan to get more from Quatre, apparently he has a fair few."

The former pilot could only imagine, during the time they had been together before all this happened Quatre had held many events, which they either attended as friends or protecting Relena. In either case there had always been a multitude of photographers documenting everything, some for magazines and documentaries, others hired by Quatre himself just so he could remember the moments of relaxation they had been able to share. Heero remembered the events clearly, though he wasn't necessarily sure he had ever seen the pictures.

Ash took a seat on the edge of the bed his expression changing, and Heero knew exactly what was about to come. Suppressing a sigh Heero merely rolled his eyes before closing them, and the words followed with a laugh, "So, how are you feeling?" the question was asked solely to annoy, though Heero didn't doubt Ash still cared for the answer.

"When do you have to leave?" Heero asked blatantly changing the subject, or at least trying to, he didn't expect Ash to let the matter go that easily.

"Changing the subject," Ash laughed to himself slowly shaking his head, "You should know by now that won't deter me."

"Most people pick up on pointed hints," his tone was sarcastic, but he couldn't deny he was still enjoying himself.

Ash laughed stroking his chin in what appeared to be an attempt at professionalism, "To quote you 'I'm not most people'"

Shaking his head slowly Heero looked his friend square in the face, "Ask John."

"Would that I could," he quipped with a crooked smile, "But he's not here right now, and won't be for many hours."

Heero unconsciously rubbed at his right eye, the pain behind it having returned, "Then I guess you're out of luck." There hadn't been that many times where Ash had accepted a non answer, so either someone had somehow answered for him or the subject had been changed with something more important. Heero had used up all the loop holes he had been able to see in Ash's question, but still couldn't bring himself to answer honestly. It was a stupid question, one asked far to often by way too many people, it was no small wonder Heero was sick of hearing it, not enough changed day to day—at least by his thoughts—to warrant asking every time they walked into the room.

Ash sighed while at the same time drawing the table across Heero's bed and setting the chess board up between them. "You know," he began, his eyes looking at the board as he placed the pieces, "I haven't managed to get a straight answer out of you yet, despite my rules."

"You think that'd tell you something," the Japanese man commented pointedly drawing his free hand up again to massage at the skin near his eye. The lights in the room, a mix of natural and artificial were piercing his brain painfully.

"That eye bugging you?" Ash asked looking at him now with a raised eyebrow.

"Just a little dry," Heero lied smoothly, turning his focus to the prepared game board in front of him.

His friend nodded mutely at that also looking at the chess set, "Dante and I have to leave late tonight," he answered Heero's earlier question rather suddenly. "With the conference over it's time to go back home," he moved an arbitrary pawn forward.

"Will that be hard for you?" Heero asked selecting a knight before looking up at his friend.

"Will what?" Ash appeared confused.

"Keeping up appearances," the former pilot clarified, for the first time feeling a spark of nerves at the thought. This was why he had fooled them all because no one was so perfect an actor that they could maintain a cover for years. He hoped it would take nearly half that long to bring the Inner Circle down, but how were any of them to know for sure? And Ash was going back to the front lines.

Ash nodded his head in understanding, his eyes appearing to try and reassure, "Those close enough to me to know what I've been doing these last few months knew I was going with Dante to find closure." A sheepish smile touched his features then, "Thankfully none of them were in the room when John tried to give me that closure. It shouldn't be too hard to keep people from asking questions."

Heero smirked a little at that, as he placed Ash's pawn aside, he had heard some of what had been said and done in that room. "Will you hand me that cup of water?" he asked, looking at the cup that had been in front of him before Ash had moved the table.

"Sure," Ash placed it before him making sure the straw was close to Heero's mouth, "So how are you going to hold up?"

The former pilot considered his friend silently for a moment before making another move on the chess board, "Same as I always do."

Ash winced at that before smiling again, "Sorry if I don't find that all that reassuring." He drew one knee up onto the bed resting his elbow on it before dropping his head onto his palm. Ash looked utterly relaxed as his hazel eyes flickered from the game to Heero and back again, "Dante's been wanting to come and see you before we leave. He would have been here sooner if not for the conference, and any spare time he's had this week has been spent with Une."

"Une and Dante?" that raised an eyebrow as Heero's hand halted over the piece he had chosen to move.

"No one's told you yet?" Ash laughed a little reaching for a pitcher of water and pouring some into Heero's cup. "They've been seeing each other for a while now, though I don't think they intend to make it public any time soon."

"Hn…" Heero thought about it for a moment, he didn't much care for the relations of others, he had a hard enough time just figuring out Relena. Tactically speaking however he could see the advantages to Une and Dante being on more personal terms. He could also see how it would have been difficult for Une to lie to Dante, had they been seeing each other before the truth had come out. "So he knows about the Inner Circle," he mused to himself.

"Yes, he and Une apparently agreed not to make a move just yet," Ash took hold of one of Heero's pieces, "If possible they want you to be a part of that mission."

Heero's eyes fell closed at that, he wanted, more than anything to see the end of this mission. For him it hadn't ended there wasn't another to begin until he had taken down the Inner Circle. But looking at himself know feeling the pain, knowing the distance he still had to go just to get back on his feet, it all seemed impossibly far away. Heero was too strong to let it all overwhelm him, in fact the knowledge that they wanted him to be a part of the attack merely strengthened Heero's resolve to get back on his feet as fast as he could.

"You tired?" Ash's voice broke through his thoughts then with a note of concern.

"No," Heero assured quickly opening his eyes once more and focusing on the game board it was his move again.

"You know, I don't know if you've realised, as I have, just what it means to have Dante and Une seeing each other," Ash continued a sly smile playing on his features. The former pilot considered his friend for a moment, but Ash didn't bother giving him a chance to respond. "It means more trips to earth, more chanced for me to harass you," Ash's smile only grew.

"Joy," he responded dryly earning a laugh from Ash.

"C'mon, you'll miss me when I'm gone," he continued to smile brightly as he selected yet another piece at random.

"If it makes you happy to think that," he said with a shake of his head.

Ash beamed at him, "Believe me, it does."

WMWMWMW

Breathing was a difficult thing for Heero. There were times when he had to take full breaths despite the pain, or risk future problems of loosing lung capacity or letting fluid settle in his lungs. He had dealt with broken ribs before so none of this was new, what he hadn't dealt with was so many on top of so many other things. There were times when Heero just didn't want to breathe at all, times when no matter how he tried each breath felt like knives stabbed him from all directions. This had turned out to be one of those days. Heero drew a slow shallow breath. He had felt alright when Ash had come to see him, but it had faded fast. Now the pain of his ribs combined with that of his head was growing into something he wasn't able to ignore.

He hadn't said anything to Ash, and he doubted his friend had even noticed. Ash was observant, more so that the vast majority of people. But Heero really didn't want to deal with people fussing over him today, he knew John would notice the minute he walked into the room, the old doctor seemed to have a sixth sense for that. So Heero made a mental note to get some sort of painkiller into him before John arrived. As it was Heero didn't want anything in his system, this being Ash's last day here Heero really didn't want to be drugged up. Ash had left the room to seek out some lunch upon receiving a phone call from Dante to let Heero know he was on his way.

Heero's eyes flickered to the door as he tried very slowly to shift on the bed, there wasn't really anywhere he could shift to that would be more comfortable than he already was, but he found he had to at least try. It was in that moment that he heard a knock on his door and he settled himself, trying to draw a full breath. The last thing he needed was to sound winded when Dante came in. The door opened only a moment later and the leader of the Free Born slowly walked in, he wore a suit as usual and his eyes looked directly to Heero the minute he walked through the door. That was as far as Dante got, the door closed swiftly behind him but he didn't come any closer. Heero could tell he was uncomfortable being there, but too his credit his gaze never wavered his bluish green eyes remaining intently locked with Heero's own cobalt.

Not really being in the mood to converse Heero was content to a point to let the silence remain. As much as he didn't want to start the conversation he didn't want to just stare at Dante for an interminable amount of time. Thankfully he wasn't forced to, on the other hand he had to deal with something just as annoying to him. Dante drew a breath preparing himself as though for a prepared speech he was about to give, "Heero, I just wanted to say--"

"Don't," Heero cut in with a shake of his head, "Don't apologise."

Dante looked at him with an odd light in his eyes, "Why not? I'm as much to blame as anyone," again Heero shook his head working hard at surprising a sigh, despite his ribs it wanted to come out. Dante's brow drew together in a confused frown, "I all but hand delivered you to the Inner Circle, how can you shake your head?"

"I don't want anymore apologies," Heero told him, "I'm tired of them," perhaps that was selfish, they all needed to clear their consciousness whether an apology could do it or not didn't matter it was merely the first step as John had often said. That didn't change the fact that Heero was receiving all of them, and feeling tired of having to say the same things to convince each and every one of them that things would be alright, he forgave them. "You apologised at the hospital," Heero added finally watching Dante's eyes flicker away thoughtfully as he thought back to the time mentioned.

"That hardly counts," Dante was fast to retort, "As I recall you almost predicted exactly what would happen, because of my actions."

"All of which is in the past, nothing can change it."

"I don't expect an apology to change anything," Dante moved deeper into the room finally taking a seat next to Heero's bed as though this potentially uncomfortable conversation had allowed him to forget his unease about being in the room. "Nothing can change what happened, but an apology is expected whether the recipient wants it or not.

Heero could stop himself from rolling his eyes, "You try dealing with one every time that door opens," a small exaggeration, but that's what it felt like to Heero, if he could he'd hunt each of them down and knock some sense into them. He only hoped for their sake they got over their guilt before he was back on his feet.

Dante's serious expression cracked a tiny smile at that, at the same time he looked surprised, "You're a very different man around them," he observed serious once more.

"Not really," the former pilot countered with a shake of his head, "Not a different man now, a different man then." In three years of deep cover, granted there wasn't much of a difference, someone who didn't know him at all wouldn't have been able to say one way or the other. Heero knew for himself the only real difference was he didn't have to outwardly hate the people he internally missed.

"You're more relaxed than I ever remember you," he said softly in a tone that sounded a little awkward, his eyes shifting away from Heero then to land on the chess board still set up from Ash and Heero's last game. "He really missed you," Dante comment looking back to Heero, "He refused to accept that you had died, caused me a lot of headaches" he smiled now, but Heero knew those times would have been stressful for him. Ash and Dante were friends as close as he and the pilots were, Heero had often wondered how and when they first met, but had never been really inclined to ask, if it didn't pertain to the mission it was irrelevant.

Heero reached out to finger one of the castles on the board, "He's determined to a fault."

"Reminds me of someone else I know," Dante commented shifting to the edge of his seat and positioned the board a little closer to the two of them.

He had not been hinting at a game, but certainly it would be nice to have something to distract him from an awkward conversation. Dante seemed just as willing reaching automatically for the side closest to him, white. Ash had managed to win the last game they had played. They started with silence merely watching the board playing each move quickly both hardly even seemed to need to thing about it.

"Une would have liked to be here as well," Dante said after several pieces had been won on both sides, Heero had quickly decided he liked the way Dante played, not so random as Ash but not predictable either. "But she received an important call last minute," Heero simply nodded his head to that not even looking up from the game. Une would come when time permitted she was not as bound as the others, and Heero actually expected a few choice words from her when she did arrive after all she was the commanding officer, even if she did have trouble controlling them at times.

A knock on the door caused only a seconds pause in the game, Heero chose to watch from the corner of one eye, if it was someone coming with a meal for him he'd rather ignore them anyway. Ash strode through the door carrying in a bag in one hand with an easy smile on his face much like always. "I'm going to have to start buying those in bulk," Ash laughed, "There's no way that boards going to last with all the use it's getting."

"Did you enjoy your lunch?" Dante asked casually while placing aside one of Heero's pawns.

Ash sighed somewhat dramatically, "It's really not the same when I don't have Heero to harass to eat."

"You survived five months," Heero told him dryly.

"That may be," Ash said pointing a figure at Heero, "But I brought you something just so I'd feel more at home." He smiled brightly swinging the package out before Heero's face, "And before you tell me to screw off just see what it is," he reached into the bag and pulled out a little container placing it on the table in front of Heero with a plastic spoon beside it.

"Heavenly Hash?" Heero asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Just a new flavour of ice cream I thought you'd like to try," Ash told him with a smile bouncing forward on his toes as he waited for Heero to open it.

"You're not an ice cream eater Ash," Dante commented eyes lifting from observing his position on the game board, "What made you pick that one?"

Ash's eyes sparkled, "Had a cool name," he stated simply

Heero returned his attention to the small container in front of him, he didn't much feel like having ice cream a little to close to food for him right now. But his curiosity about its flavour was a little too much for Heero. John had showed him a few flavours beyond simple vanilla, and they had been all good so very different, such strong flavours that they'd stay with him for a long time after eating. Seeing the game with Dante had paused Heero reached for the container and opened it.

The ice cream within was like nothing Heero had ever seen before, not one simple colour but many varying colours all mixed together with chunks of what looked like nuts mixed in. Taking the first spoonful Heero found himself anticipating the sugary taste and cold feeling that always melted through him. Silence filled the room for several minutes while Heero ate his ice cream and Dante and Ash watched without making it too obvious. Heero's eyes almost closed in pleasure as the cool sensation from the ice cream spread into his chest, smoothing away some of the pain from his ribs. It no longer felt so much like a gnawing ache, he still couldn't draw anywhere close to a full breath but it felt a little easier to breathe. He wished the feeling would last.

His game with Dante continued then, Heero slowly eating his ice cream as he made his moves taking a moment every now and again to look like he was studying the board while he was merely enjoying the feel of the ice cream melting in his mouth. Taking his time it took Heero almost a half hour to finish the small container and by the end the ice cream was very soft. He decided near to the end of it, that he wasn't all that fussy on nuts in his ice cream, it took away from the smooth nature. As Heero finally placed the spoon aside and refocused his attention on the game before him, he felt a strange yet all too familiar feeling wash over his mind.

The pain in his ribs and head ebbed almost immediately, his eyes instantly turned to Ash then, not even taking a moment to enjoy the absence of pain. "What did you put in this?" he asked unable to keep himself from sounding surprised.

Ash's smile was a sly one, and at the same time appearing all knowing, while Dante looked on confused, "You honestly thought I wouldn't notice." Ash slowly shook his head, "I've spent the last three years of my life trying to figure you out, I've picked up a few things." He sat himself down on the edge of Heero's bed, "And before you start pointing fingers solely at me, you might want to keep in mind that Wufei was actually the one to provide the drugs."

"You're the one who went to him," Heero returned massaging the bridge of his nose willing his mind to clear, he didn't want the pain to return just yet but he didn't want to feel so out of it.

Ash chuckled, "Now might be a good time to point out that Heavenly Hash not only has a cool name, but the nuts in it help conceal any odd texture because of the drugs."

Dante's eyes switched between the two of them, "Ummm I'm imagining these drugs are pretty powerful…" he began looking closely at Heero's face, "Don't you have to sign out these drugs?"

"Restricted floor. There isn't much worry of junkies breaking in and taking anything," Heero clarified for Dante. During normal times Sally kept everything under a careful lock and key, she didn't want them to be treating their own injuries without her knowledge. A difficult task considering the men she was trying to keep out could both pick or hack whatever lock she had put in place. There was also the option of intimidating a lesser nurse or intern though that tended get back to Sally all the faster.

"What about overdosing? Shouldn't a doctor be monitoring what you take?" the tone of his voice almost sounded concerned.

Heero just levelled Dante with a flat look, "First is the challenge of getting a pilot to actually take drugs," Ash explained smiling and looking to the ice cream container now completely empty, "An interesting challenge." Heero turned his once flat look into a glare and focused on Ash. "Hey be grateful I care so much, at least you're not in pain right now."

"So how are you feeling Heero?" Ash inquired with a sly expression.

"Drugged up," was Heero's bitter response, despite everything he was grateful, though he'd never be able to admit that to Ash.

That answer gave Ash a moments pause, "Mark this day down!" he exclaimed turning to Dante, "I think this is closest I've ever come to getting a straight answer out of him."

"Go to hell," Heero shut his eyes with an audible sigh, knowing full well that such a reaction would not be enough to deter his friend.

Ash laughed he didn't take Heero's dark tone seriously, a few moments of silence passed "You tired Heero?" Ash was overly concerned.

The former pilot didn't even crack an eye, "Exactly why I didn't want anything," he knew he was going to have to open his eyes soon if he didn't want to fall asleep here and now, the painkiller just made it too easy.

"We can play another time if you want Heero," Dante offered.

"No," Heero opened his eyes then, shifting on the bed glad to able to move easier now, "How have things been on Freedom's Point?" Heero directed his question at Dante pointedly ignoring Ash.

Dante pulled a hand through his hair, glancing sideways at Ash, "Surprisingly quiet for having a criminal syndicate hidden among my people."

Heero carefully moved a piece of the chess board noting his hands were trembling visibly, no doubt caused by the painkiller. "That's not really all that surprising," he commented trying to focus his mind a little, "They don't really want to draw attention…"

Ash chuckled leaning closer to Heero so despite the Japanese's man's gaze Ash was in it, "Sarcasm," he told his friend bluntly. Heero glanced away from the game board looking more fully at his friend with a questioning expression. "I really think you should get some sleep," he smiled.

Blinking several times Heero tried to clear his vision, "You're fault," he narrowed his eyes at Ash.

"I know, I know," Ash smiled raising his hands in defeat, "Honestly though, I'd much rather leave knowing you're not in pain."

"Mission accomplished," despite the fact that it had been done against his will Heero appreciated what Ash had done. And although he'd never say it, Heero already knew Ash was more than aware.

"We'll play another game next time I come down," Dante said as he came to his feet reaching for the coat of his business suit which he had draped over the back of the chair.

Heero nodded his head mutely and turned his attention to Ash, "Look," Ash's expression became very stern, "Don't keep pushing yourself so hard." Heero continue with his silence but rolled his eyes, Ash laughed as he stepped away from the bed. "I'll be in touch," he said his voice sounding reluctant as he and Dante walked over to the door.

"Safe trip…"Heero let his eyes finally fall closed then not giving himself time to really think as he simply relaxed and fell into the sleep his body had been craving.

WMWMWMW

Heero opened his eyes slowly feeling as though they had been weighed down with lead a common after effect of being drugged the night before. His eyes felt dry and he let them fall closed giving himself a few moments to wake more fully. It was no effort to remember what had happened to leave him feeling this way, and doubted he'd ever trust something offered to him by Ash again. Heero knew that wouldn't stop Ash just like it had never stopped Sally from finding creative ways to drug them. He thought John or Trowa might have come into the room at some point, Heero seemed to remember rousing himself a little, but whatever Ash had given him had still been strong in his system.

Opening his eyes again, Heero attempted to focus his eyes on the clock, it took them several seconds, and when they did he saw it was closing in on eleven o'clock. "What was that stuff…" Heero wondered aloud rubbing lightly at his eyes with his left hand.

A knock on the door alerted Heero, and he shifted on the bed raising his head from the pillow. He was grateful to the fact that the pain still hadn't returned in full force at least his head felt free of pain even if his ribs didn't. The curtains in his room were partially drawn allowing the late morning light to spill into the room without making it too bright. Returning his gaze to the door Heero watched as Quatre walked into the room, looking very relaxed in a light t-shirt and kaki pants, a stark contrast to the usual business suit even for Heero.

"Good morning," he greeted with that same gentle smile he had always warn when speaking with anyone, "Did you sleep well?"

Heero shifted again trying to find a little comfort, "More than I wanted…"

That drew a chuckle from Quatre, "I heard what Ash did yesterday."

"He's as bad as Sally," Heero said reached for his glass of water, feeling his mouth was really dry right now. It was an effort to get the straw to lips, but Heero was glad Quatre didn't try to help. He wanted his independence. Quatre did, however take hold of a pitcher of water and refill his nearly empty cup. After putting the pitcher aside, Quatre walked around the bed and took a seat in the plush chair, Heero turned his head away from the cup and looked more closely at Quatre his cobalt eyes also noting the date calendar, it read June 18. "I thought you were leaving when Ash and Dante did…"

"That was the original plan," Quatre nodded resting his head on his palm, "But I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye first."

"You came in last night?" he asked taking hold of the light blankets covering him he wanted to push them back as far as he could. For some reason he had begun to feel to warm under them.

"I did," Quatre confirmed, "But I didn't want to wake you then, so I thought I'd wait a day, I didn't want to raise any eyebrows, so I took Relena out to a private dinner." He grinned then leaning back in his chair, "Of course the press was all over it, and I suppose I should be the one to tell you our engagement has been announced in several papers, and Relena's pregnancy in a few of the less reputable ones…"

Heero's eyebrows raised, "All this while I was sleeping?"

"I'm apparently very talented."

"I thought you had enough women throwing themselves at you, why'd you have to take mine?" his tone was sardonic.

Quatre laughed outright at that and his mirth was contagious drawing out a fraction of a smile on Heero's face. "Just a little incentive for you to get back on your feet,"

"What's she think of all this?" Heero knew Relena was used to the media and the conclusion they could jump to.

"I believe the first words out of her mouth was 'You'll make an excellent trophy husband, but I'd best check with Heero first.' At least she wanted your opinion," he shook his head slowly still smiling, "That's got to count for something right?"

"I suppose…" Heero returned his focus to the glass of water feeling once more very parched.

"So," Quatre said sounding more serious now, "How have things been, between you two?"

Despite what they had been talking about Heero felt caught off guard by the question, no one had yet to outright ask him that, not even he and Relena had come so far as to openly discuss where they stood. He wasn't sure it was something he felt comfortable discussing but avoiding it felt as though he'd be admitting some sort of defeat, not something he really wanted to be doing. "Slow," he responded finally.

"It's been great to see her smiling again and know it's genuine," Quatre smiled himself as he spoke,

Heero's lips twitched into a ghost of a smile, there were still moments where Heero knew they both felt awkward around each other unsure where to go next, but her cheerful nature almost always lifted his frustration. It stabbed at him even now to know three years of her life had been spent hiding behind a mask. As a politician she had to have a mask, but it wasn't something she needed to wear while around her closest friends. Heero hadn't allowed himself to think of that when he had walked, hadn't even considered it until now. "I wouldn't let myself…" he wasn't sure how to finish.

"You really missed her…" his friend finished.

"I couldn't think about it…" that had been the hardest thing to deal with while he was undercover, it would drive him to drink faster than anything.

Their conversation lapsed into silence then as Heero slowly drank, and Quatre glanced about the room. "I remember when Sally had completed this room," Quatre said leaning back in his chair, eyes still looking over every inch of it. "I wasn't really around for it, but I seem to recall hearing that she was impatient to be able to try it out."

Heero grunted as he shifted on the bed, "She takes it as an insult when we do get hurt, but when she's got something new to try out it's almost like she can't wait…" his tone was excessively dry.

The young president laughed, "It's true," again his eyes flickered over the three walls he could easily see, "Doesn't have much in the way of entertainment."

"Hn, she'd probably prefer we were resting," something they all would have fought against. Heero was getting to the point now where he needed something anything to distract himself, he could spend the entire day asleep, not unless they drugged him. And laying there with nothing to do but watch the time slip passed was nearly unbearable. So far it had done nothing but shorten his tempter, having Ash come in and speak with him along with the others helped, so did the chess board.

"I'd imagine you're feeling the boredom," Quatre said not needing to read Heero's thoughts to know he was right, any of them would have been driven nuts in Heero's position, they were all just used to too much activity.

"Getting there…"

"Is there anything I can do to help? The chess board was a great idea, but it's not exactly something you can do on your own…" Quatre lifted the king from the board turning it over in his hands, as his eyes watched Heero's face.

He hadn't been expecting that question, he didn't know why, he had just assumed he'd have to ask one of them. "A laptop would be nice," as he was now Heero felt that was something he'd easily be able to work with, it would also allow him to have a fuller understanding of what was going on around him.

"I think that can easily be arranged," Quatre smiled looking pleased that he could be of help. "Oh, something you might be interested in looking up once you get the laptop," Quatre continued leaning forward in his seat. "My sources have caught wind that another Eve War's movie is in the making…"

"Are we the enemy again?" Heero asked, remembering all too well the last movie that came out, almost right after the war had ended. Its timing wasn't the only thing in poor taste, but the depiction of the Gundam Pilots couldn't have been much worse. There had been a few movies made entirely for TV but they had simply been wrought with inaccuracies, made only to try and make a quick buck.

"Hard to say this early on, but my source said the producers and director seemed to be doing their research trying to find anything they can." He pulled a hand though his light blond hair, "Not that it really effects us, but I'd like to keep an eye on it might be interesting to see how they portray us, so long as it's not as the devil."

Thanks for Reading!

**Little Surprises**:

He was pausing in his aimless work, to give his arms a break, when he heard a knock on his door thathe had been expecting it for some time now. John walked through the door only seconds later carrying a thermos in his hand. That caught Heero's attention.It had been a while since he had seen that. John halted only a couple of steps in the room, "Well this is new," he said eyes looking at the computers in front of Heero, "When did you get that?"

"Couple of hours ago," reaching out with his left hand Heero pulled the screen closed, "Quatre brought it before he left."

John smiled at that as he walked over to Heero's bedside one hand touching the laptop as his eyes looked to Heero's. "That was thoughtful, have you got any sleep yet tonight?" Heero chose not to answer such a loaded question, which was just the answer John had been expecting. Shaking his head slowly, John placed the thermos down on the table, "I brought you a treat tonight, my wife thought you might like a change of pace."

"Your wife?" Heero asked confused and more than a little concerned, he trusted John but to the world he was supposed to be dead, they couldn't risk the information getting out.

"Don't worry," John assured quickly, "She has no idea who you are, in the past when I've had a long term patient she's often made soup for them." He smiled then, it looked nostalgic as though he were remembering those past times.he shook his head a little looking back down to Heero then, a glint in his eyes Heero would have called mischievous. "I didn't think you'd be able to turn down food made especially for you," John sat himself down on the edge of the bed, his expression turning smug.

Heero's brain didn't even try to think up a retort to that, he had been left stunned by John's words. He couldn't have meant it exactly as he said it, why would anyone, especially someone who didn't even know him, go out of their way to make something for him? Heero couldn't understand it, "Why…" he asked, eyes looking up to John though his head didn't move.

The old doctor chuckled softly, "Why so surprised? Hasn't Ash done something like this before?"

"Ash I know…"

"Merrian's a sweet woman," John told him as he began pouring some of the soup into the bowel like lid, placing it before Heero along with a spoon.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	43. Little Surprises

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Here's the next set of double chapters, I hope you all enjoy them! Heero's going to be back on his feet soon! In the mean time I hope you all enjoy a little Heero/Relena moment in the next chapter!

**Pious Knight **and **morgansgirl **you two are the best! Thank you so much!

**Mini Nicka**: Thank you very much! I hope you enjoy these chapters!

**Kalorna Enera**: Thank you! I'm really interested, can you tell me what of the plot makes you think it has slowed? I really don't want anything to drag please let me know. As for the number of days in the story, up to what I've written 10 months have passed which I believe is roughly 304 days add one if it was a leap year. I'm glad you got a kick out of Ash and the pictures, Ash may be leaving but he's sure to come back again! Thank you so much for the review!

**Raizard333**: Those missed spaces is fault of I've informed them of it but haven't heard anything back yet. You're definition of a tourniquet is correct but the use I put it to is also right, if you ever give blood or have a sample taken, they always tie a rubber band around your arm it causes the vein to become more pronounced. By definition this is a tourniquet. I'm glad you like the ice cream, I really enjoyed writing that scene, though it was difficult, since ice cream is something I take for granted. (laughs) to be honest I never really gave the original Eve War movies much thought (smiles ) I know I'm going to have fun with this new one. Thank you so much for this wonderful and very amusing review, (snickers) Heero as a toaster...just too weird. Lauren is coming up very shortly and I hope to make it a lot quicker by posting double chapters. Thanks again!

**L.A.UNE**: Thank you so much! you're reviews do the same thing for me! I hope you continue to enjoy this story!

**D3**: Thank you! I may vanish for a little while wish I could say I was in a better place (Laughs) but I always come back again. I hope you enjoy these two chapters!

**Auza-Isaka-Winner**: (laughs) you just had to out do yourself didn't you? (smiles) I told you, you have the award for weirdest review, no one can take that from you (laughs) Thanks so much I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

**Twilight Dusk**: (blink) wow that was awesome! All that you managed to get into that review. Thank you so much! Which stories is it that you want to hear? You mentioned it at the end of your review, thanks again! I hope you enjoy these chapters.

**ghostreader**: Thank you very much, can I ask you a question, I've been racking my brains over this for some time now, which is why I have that long authors note at the top. What would you call moving the plotline? Heero and the others taking on the Inner Circle? Or Heero making it back on his feet, and coming to grips with a few things he hadn't even fully realised where haunting him? Please let me know I've been really wondering. Thank you again!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gundam Wing, and I make no money from this...hence the reason why I work for a living.

**Little Surprises**

It was late at night. Quatre had left for home several hours ago, but before he left, Quatre had brought Heero a laptop, plugged it in, and left it in his friend's capable hands. Heero had been working on it for sometime now and was feeling frustrated at his lack of control. It hadn't been a problem to get his hands over the keys, but his fingers kept slipping up. Heero wasn't able to work with the speed that he was used to and it was irritating. He kept at it though, feeling his dexterity come back to him if slowly. Though he was forced to take breaks to try and stop the tired trembling in his hands, his right hand especially.

He was pausing in his aimless work to give his arms a break, when he heard a knock on his door one that he had been expecting it for some time now. John walked through the door only seconds later carrying a thermos in his hand. That caught Heero's attention. It had been a while since he had seen that. John halted only a couple of steps in the room, "Well this is new," he said, eyes looking at the computer in front of Heero, "When did you get that?"

"Couple of hours ago," reaching out with his left hand Heero pulled the screen closed, "Quatre brought it before he left."

John smiled at that as he walked over to Heero's bedside one hand touching the laptop as his eyes looked to Heero's. "That was thoughtful, have you gotten any sleep yet tonight?" Heero chose not to answer such a loaded question, which was just the answer John had been expecting. Shaking his head slowly, John placed the thermos down on the table, "I brought you a treat tonight, my wife thought you might like a change of pace."

"Your wife?" Heero asked confused and more than a little concerned, he trusted John but to the world he was supposed to be dead, they couldn't risk the information getting out.

"Don't worry," John assured quickly, "She has no idea who you are. In the past when I've had a long term patient she's often made soup for them." He smiled then. It looked nostalgic as though he were remembering those past times. He shook his head a little looking back down to Heero then, a glint in his eyes Heero would have called mischievous. "I didn't think you'd be able to turn down food made especially for you," John sat himself down on the edge of the bed, his expression turning smug.

Heero's brain didn't even try to think up a retort to that, he had been left stunned by John's words. He couldn't have meant it exactly as he said it, why would anyone, especially someone who didn't even know him, go out of their way to make something for him? Heero couldn't understand it, "Why…" he asked, eyes looking up to John though his head didn't move.

The old doctor chuckled softly, "Why so surprised? Hasn't Ash done something like this before?"

"Ash I know…"

"Merrian's a sweet woman," John told him as he began pouring some of the soup into the bowel like lid, placing it before Heero along with a spoon.

Despite not feeling very enthusiastic about food, Heero had to admit the soup smelled good, and still stunned by the gesture he felt the need to give it a try. John moved the table a little so the bowl was closer to him and sat back silently watching to see Heero's reaction. Taking hold of the spoon Heero hesitated a few seconds never comfortable under someone's intense gaze, something John seemed to realise as he slowly turned his head away glancing at the clock.

"I'm going off the night shift," he said, eyes still remaining off Heero though through the corner of his eye he'd still be able to see. "You've recovered enough that I'm no longer concerned, especially now that Trowa's coming in almost every night."

Heero swallowed the soup in his mouth while focusing his attention on John, "Then I want these off," he gestured towards the sensors that had lined his chest, since the first moment he had awoke. And though he wasn't being driven insane by the continued beeping of his heart, it was annoying to know that that information along with other things was being displayed in a room nearby.

John didn't answer immediately his eyes tracing over Heero, and a wan smile touched his lips, "Enjoy your soup…" he said at last making to get up then.

"This wasn't a request," Heero told him quickly, halting John while he was still on the edge of the bed.

"If I remove those, you realise that I or someone else is going to have to come in more often to make sure everything's alright," John explained looking seriously into Heero's eyes.

"You wouldn't be leaving nights if you thought it could be a problem," Heero countered determined, it was the next step towards his recovery, and it shocked him just how much he wanted this.

Considering it for several moments John slowly nodded his head, getting up from the bed and moved the table a little further down so he had clear access to Heero's chest. "I'll be taking a couple of days to adjust to the change," John explained as he opened Heero's shirt to begin removing the sensors that lined his torso. "So I've asked Sally to drop by," he gathered all the sensors in his hands and moved to place them on the counter.

Closing the front of his shirt himself Heero said nothing in response to what John had told him, he focused more of his attention on trying to tie the two sides together. His hands were getting steadier and stronger with each passing day, the IV in the back of his right hand wasn't even much of a problem, though he was getting tired of having it there. "What about this?" he asked the older doctor, raising his right hand, his own cobalt eyes staring at the needle carefully tapped to the back of his hand.

"I'd like to leave that," John said returning the table to its original position and seating himself on the bed once more. "Perhaps when you start eating more consistently…" there was a mischievous glint in his eyes as he poured a little more of the soup into Heero's bowl as thought to make his comment a little more pointed.

"Hn..." Heero ground out as he carefully picked up his spoon again, but decided not to press the issue knowing that he'd have no problem removing it himself. He was actually surprised to find himself wanting more of the soup, for the first time in a long time feeling like he could eat a little more. Heero found himself feeling uncomfortable with the silence, he wasn't sure how to deal with this situation with John's wife going out of her way for him. He couldn't even understand why she had felt the need to do something like that. He could feel John's eyes on him as he finished the last of what was in the bowl.

"I'll tell her you liked it?" it was asked as a question but Heero knew John already knew the answer, and he was grateful for that, still unable to put into words what he was thinking and feeling.

"Thank her," he told John after a couple of moments of silence.

John's face broke out into a smile, "I will."

WMWMWMW

Heero ground out a sigh, dropping his arms slowly down to his sides, the pain in his body was gnawing and had been from the moment he had woke that morning. He didn't like to let it get to him like this but he found it disrupting every thought he had as he was trying to work. His mind being tired he knew was also partly to blame, he hadn't been able to sleep soundly that night. Trowa had come to see him as was usual a few hours after John had left his room, and they had done some work together though nothing major which managed to leave Heero breathless, much to his disgust. It was after Trowa had left that Heero found himself unable to turn his mind off. It certainly wasn't the first time, and he felt frustration rear its ugly head within him.

There was nothing he could outwardly direct it at, had he been feeling this way while on his feet, Heero would have worked himself until thinking wasn't an option. But it was the fact that he wasn't on his feet, and still wasn't likely to be for some time that kept that boiling frustration coming back time and again. Worst of all, he didn't want to speak with anyone about it, and though he was good at concealing how he was really feeling, his closest friends could always tell. Fortunately, John was the only one to question him on it, for that reason Heero was glad he had a few days were he might not have to deal with it.

Closing his eyes Heero flexed his hands rolling his fingers into his palms making rock hard fists, over and over again. He did this while feeling the burn that ran up his arms the more he worked them, adding to his frustration. He was tired of this, he wanted to just jump up and walk out of this damn room. Biting back a string of dark curses Heero forced his arms back up over the keys of his laptop and forced himself to continue working. The pain did not ease the strong emotions he was feeling, rather it fuelled them, but at least that made it easier to try and deal with them. Trying to slow his breathing Heero attempted to force the pain from his thoughts, he should have been able to but it was too persistent.

A sharp knock on the door sounded into the otherwise silent room, causing Heero's head to jerk in the direction of the door the anger from his features melting away at least from the surface. He had a feeling he knew who it was standing on the other side of that door, and he knew anger and frustration would only make a difficult situation impossible. With his mask firmly in place Heero watched 'impassively' as the door slide aside and Sally walked into the room albeit a little hesitantly. To her credit she looked Heero directly in the eyes as she walked towards his bed a small slightly nervous smile on her features.

She looked rather unsure of herself as she stood by the edge of his bed looking down at him, her discomfort further displaced by the shifting of her weight from foot to foot. "John asked me to come in and see how you were doing…" she started rather lamely, but it was a start.

"Have a seat," he offered voice sounding hollow to his ears as he pointed towards the chair on the other side of his bed.

Sally looked from the chair to him and back again before making her way around the foot of his bed to the chair. Silence passed between them then, somewhat uncomfortable but by no means unexpected. Heero took the moment to close his laptop, and turn his attention fully to Sally feeling now that a distraction that didn't cause further pain was a good thing. "John told me Quatre got you a laptop, I was actually surprised it took this long," her lips twitched into an almost shy smile.

"Just had to wait for the right person," he said with a slight shrug of his shoulders.

"John would have said no?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Maybe…" it didn't really matter now, he had it and he knew no one would take it from him.

The silence returned, and as Heero studied Sally he could see that the longer it dragged on for the more uncomfortable she became. And it appeared as though she were struggling with something, but he didn't know how to prompt her, wasn't sure that's what he wanted to be doing. "I've…" her voice cut off almost instantly as though she thought better of what she was about to say, but she started again almost immediately. "I've been doing a lot of thinking," her voice sounded determined now, though her eyes weren't exactly focused on his face. "You and I have never really talked; if I wasn't hounding you about an injury we'd just go our separate ways."

Sally dropped her head onto her right palm looking at Heero's face now a determined glint in her eyes. "I've come to speak casually with Wufei over the years, but that's not really saying much, none of you have ever been much for idle chat, so I don't really know what to say to you in this situation."

Heero understood how she felt, though that didn't make it any easier, as she said he wasn't one for idle conversations, never had been. Ash could talk to him about anything but he never required a response, often times he'd make one up for Heero in an attempt to get something out of him.

"So I've spent the last couple of weeks racking my brain, trying to think of something I could talk to you about that wouldn't be bringing up bad memories."

"You don't really have to be worrying about that now," he told her honestly, there really any bad memories now, things that had tortured him in the past didn't really have much power now that everything was working out.

She nodded her head several times appearing to try and prepare herself, gathering her thoughts perhaps. "You knew the ins and outs of the cottage," Sally began swallowing hard, "But we didn't start seriously discussing its construction until after you had left."

"Hn…" Heero breathed thoughtfully before he could stop himself. He actually found himself surprised that Sally had asked that, and as he had assured her he did not regret the question, "I was there."

"I realise that," she answered almost managing to sound natural, "But why risk it?" she asked her eyes on his face but constantly moving. "There was no way you could know that was where you'd be capturing Relena…"

That statement was true enough, he hadn't known where or when Dante was going to make his move, he hadn't even been sure it was Dante who was going to try and take Relena. Up until just recently he hadn't known whether or not Dante was a member of the Inner Circle, who he had been trying to stop. "At the time I didn't know," he confirmed, "I wasn't even sure Relena was the target, but I had to stay a step ahead…" that wasn't entirely it though, it was also an almost uncontrollable desire to see the friends he had left behind.

Sally straightened in her chair looking very intent, "Dante was the one who wanted Relena, you assumed he was a member of the Inner Circle," it wasn't exactly a question.

"Perhaps even the head," he massaged at his eyes absently, "It just takes so much time to back trace."

"So in the end it was luck that Dante's goals and the Inner Circle were the same," her eyes studied him, and Heero thought she looked more relaxed, "Although Dante's was far more peaceful."

"Basically, Relena was just a means to the end for both of them," he pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes closing for a brief moment in the hopes of lessening the pain in his head. "If it wasn't for us pilots there wouldn't have been any need to take Relena," he sighed.

"I know she doesn't blame you for what happened," Sally sounded like she was trying to comfort.

"Yeah…" he sighed again, "Doesn't change the fact that we can erase information on the Gundams from everywhere but our own minds…" Heero was surprised he was admitting this to Sally but feeling as he was the words just slipped out.

"Are you feeling alright?" she asked suddenly, "Can I get you something?" Heero opened his eyes to look at Sally and found her leaning a little closer to him, her vision intent upon his face. "A painkiller?" she asked after only a couple of seconds.

Heero considered his response for a few really quick seconds, it would certainly just be easier to let Sally give him something than tell her he was fine and create the awkward situation where she might want to try and force the issue. "Yeah," he told her at last watching the light of surprise enter into her eyes, and for a brief moment she seemed to not know what to do with herself.

Sally stood from her chair and walked back around the bed, knowing without searching exactly where the items she needed were. Heero watched her mutely finding himself pleased that she was acting more comfortable around him, it was defiantly a step in the right direction. Sally was walking back over to his side with the upturned syringe in her hands within a matter of minutes, her eyes focused on getting the air out as she came to a stop at Heero's left side. She looked at him for a time before turning her attention to Heero's arm. Her fingers gently closed around it and she guided his arm so the inside of his elbow was visible.

Her fingers traced down his arm, drawing his attention to see for himself what she was studying. The inside of his arm was lined with track marks from the numerous injections he had received over time. Sally inserted the needle with an expert hand quickly injecting the drug into his system, and then disposed of the used syringe. It didn't take long for Heero to begin feeling the effects of the strong painkiller as it coursed its way though his bloodstream, he felt his entire body relax as the pain melted away.

The silence returned between them as Sally returned to her seat and Heero shifted on the bed finally finding a comfortable position. "Does that happen often?" she asked after a couple of moments.

"Not really," he responded evasively, it wasn't really something he wanted to be discussing right now. He found himself surprised when Sally didn't press the matter the fact that she was talking right now was enough to let him forget, if only for a moment, the tension between them.

"Duo told me you were there at the wedding," Sally spoke bridging the uncomfortable silence to another subject.

Heero's now drugged mind took a moment to catch up with the switch, "Well at least to drop off the gift," he had wanted to be there, but couldn't risk it. He reached out for the glass of water on the table in front of him taking a moment to drink.

Sally watched him silently, waiting for him to finish before she asked her next question, "When did you arrange it all?"

"All?" he asked back not following.

"Arranging for the hotel," she clarified with a smile, "And dropping it off."

As grateful as he was to breathe easier and not feel like he had to squint against the light, he wished the drugs didn't effect his thinking. "The hotel was simple, just hacked the system, and the drop off wasn't that much harder," it hadn't been a walk through the park but so far nothing in his life had been.

"Wasn't much harder!" Sally sounded incredulous as she leaned forward in her seat, "Security was low key but tight." It had been necessary to have a security detail with so many important political figures attending. But at the same time they kept it quiet, they didn't really want to draw attention to the fact that Duo, a 'bodyguard' to Relena had such high connections. "The pilots designed the perimeter themselves."

"But they weren't trying to keep a pilot out," Heero shrugged his shoulders a little, "None of you expected I'd come…" that had been his advantage.

Sally's eyes dropped from his face at that, "No we didn't…" her voice lost some of its life, and Heero had a feeling they'd reached the end of their conversation. "We didn't expect you to show up in a few places," her eyes returned to his face, it would seem Sally was determined to surprise him. "What brought you to the same colony Wufei was on?" she asked then.

The question itself sounded vague, there had been a couple of times Heero was on the same colony as one of the other pilots, but never had he been seen. Except that one time, "Following up a lead on the Inner Circle," he answered remembering the moment Wufei had cornered him as if it had just happened.

"I know you shot him, but he mentions firing back, he was positive he'd hit you," Sally seemed to be leading to something, but Heero wasn't sure what.

"It wasn't supposed to turn out that way," he explained needlessly.

"Where'd he get you?" Sally pressed looking intently into his eyes once more.

Heero thought about the question for a moment trying to remember, "Right arm," he said finally. He hadn't really been thinking about the injury while he was trying to get off the colony, and once he got back to Freedom's Point alcohol had been his first priority, not that he was going to relay that information to Sally.

"Who patched you up?"

"Ash…he has basic field training from the war," he was pretty sure Ash had been the one to do it, at least he wasn't able to remember otherwise.

"Wufei really changed after that encounter, he wouldn't speak to any of us about it. We all knew he'd met you but he refused to tell us any details of what had gone on," Sally leaned back in the chair folding her hands together before her.

"Ash had the same problem," Heero could recall being pressed by his friend for details the news media hadn't been able to get their hands on, but nothing had been able to get him to speak.

Sally's lips twitched a little at that her eyes turning to the clock hanging on the wall, and quickly slid forward to the edge of her seat. "I need to be going," she said into the silence and offered Heero another tiny smile, "Try and get some sleep."

WMWMWMW

Heero's eyes glanced about the room for what had to have been the thousandth time, finding nothing changed and nothing of interest. He was alone in his room, and despite John's warning about the removal of the sensors, he had remained alone relatively most of the day. Focusing his gaze on the clock Heero continued to watch the steady crawl of time feeling frustrated at his restlessness. There was something he wanted…something he was searching for but he had no idea what it actually was. His laptop sat in front of him open and on, just waiting for him to start something, but he couldn't get into it, couldn't focus himself enough. That alone was frustrating in itself, but in the absence of the laptop Heero found nothing to fill the hours of his day, or night for that matter. He'd been unable to sleep soundly for a few days now, feeling tired yet unable to get settled.

Pulling a hand down his face Heero sighed tiredly, wanting to jump up from the bed he was lying in and finally leave this room behind. His left hand flexed into a tight fist while he right gripped his handgun tightly. He closed his eyes trying to draw himself back, to stop this from effecting him so obviously. He wished he could pinpoint what he was looking for, so he could tell himself it was a useless creature comfort he had lived without for more than enough years. Opening his eyes slowly Heero glanced towards the ever diminishing day calendar on the table to his right.

As much as he was grateful to know exactly what day it was Heero hated to see the days slip by him and nothing visible changed with his situation. He was still stuck in this bed an IV line dripping fluids into him. Heero's attention turned to the needle protruding from the back of his hand, and for a moment he let his frustration funnel towards it, and he ripped aside the tape and pulled the thin metal from his hand. Tossing the IV away Heero raised his hand from the blankets watching the small bubble of blood push up from the hole left by the needle, before he turned his gaze to the camera in the corner of the room. He knew this would draw attention, attention wasn't what he wanted, he didn't know what he wanted, but he was sure John would come soon.

The old doctor had returned to his job just two days after switching off the nightshift, it had surprised Heero when he had seen the doctor walk through that door after having been absent. He had actually been pleased to see the old man, something he hadn't at all been expecting. Heero had tried to conceal his reaction, uncomfortable with these emotions he wasn't at all familiar with, but John had noticed, he hadn't made a big deal about it, but it hadn't escaped him.

As though on cue, a knock on the door announced John's presence, and Heero wished in that moment that there had been some way he could lock the door to keep the old doctor out. He didn't want to deal with him right now and couldn't put his finger on why, which only made the whole thing worse for him, the frustration that much stronger. John's expression was hard to read as he crossed into the room carrying in his right hand a bowl, he didn't look displeased but at the same time he wasn't smiling either.

"Somehow I knew you'd do that sooner or later," he said placing the bowl aside as he strode around the bed to gather up the IV line. John's eyes flickered over to Heero as he moved back over to the other side of the room retrieving an absorbent cloth from one of the drawers before sitting down on the edge of the bed. "You want to tell me what's bothering you?" John asked watching Heero's face as he reached for the former pilot's hand wiping away the small amount of blood.

Had he been able to put it into words, Heero doubted he'd have spoken his thoughts, shaking his head mutely Heero looked away from the old doctor. Pulling his hand back Heero slipped it back beneath the blankets taking a firm hold of the hand gun.

"Well I'd say it's a good thing I wasn't really expecting one," John commented ever calm and collected as he got up and took hold of the bowl he had brought in with him. He placed it down on the table before Heero along with a spoon and stepped back giving the Japanese man space.

Heero looked into the bowl curious despite himself and found what must have been ice cream within it. It had become a common thing for John to bring him ice cream, mostly simple flavours like vanilla and chocolate, but at times he chose to bring something special. Heero supposed this was one of those times, though he'd never seen anything quite like this, "Is it supposed to be green?" he asked staring at the odd mix of green coloured ice cream and chunks of chocolate.

"It's Mint Chocolate Chip," John smiled as he spoke it signifying that it was a flavour he liked. "I'll leave you to enjoy it," he turned then quickly exiting the room, which was odd since he usually liked to be present for the first mouthful. An act which often bothered Heero, but he tolerated. It was a sign of just how much John had come to know him, that he knew such an act would have just put Heero over the top.

Looking down at the green ice cream with an almost distrusting expression Heero reached for the spoon, not really feeling like eating but not wanting to do nothing. The ice cream was soft from having been sitting out, but it wasn't runny either it was just the way he liked it. It had surprised him to find he preferred the cold treat somewhat softer than fresh out of an ice cold freezer, he hadn't originally thought it would matter. Scooping a mouthful up Heero placed it into his mouth as always surprised by the burst of flavour and texture. The ice cream melted quickly on his tongue, leaving hard bits of dark chocolate, making it an altogether unique experience, one he quickly decided was his favourite thus far.

WMWMWMW

The sharp ring of his cell immediately broke through Ash's train of thought, he was sitting in a pub drinking a beer with a friend he had met back when Dante had declared the colonies independence. "Excuse me for a sec," he said to Milo as he got up off his bar stool to walk outside where it was quieter. "Hello," he spoke into the tiny phone.

"Ash? It's John," the old doctor's voice was immediately recognisable.

"John," Ash greeted rather happily, but worry gripped him almost instantly, "Has something happened?" even standing where he was alone on the street Ash was careful what he said and how he said it.

"He's fine," John assured quickly, "But he misses you."

Ash barked a laugh at that, "C'mon, you're kidding right?" he shook his head scuffing his feet on the ground as he paced back and forth, "I mean think of who you're talking about."

"I have been," he sounded serious now, "It's the only thing that makes sense, he's been really restless these last couple of days. I'm not even sure he knows why, or is willing to admit it."

"Well I'll be damned…" Ash breathed with soft chuckle, "Never would have guessed."

"Feel special?" John asked sounding amused.

"Just confirms something I've always known, that he'd never admit," Ash laughed again. "Look I'm not sure when I'll be able to get down there again…" he trailed off for a moment his mind turning it over, "With Dante seeing Une it'll make things easier, never thought I'd be saying that" the last was more for himself than John.

"He's got a computer, I'm sure that'll help," the old doctor informed.

"Really? When did that happen?" Ash's eyes swept over the people who passed down the quiet street without much interest.

"Quatre brought it before he left, at least it'll give you a means for communication, might help improve his mood."

Ash chuckled again looking forward to relating this story to Dante when next he saw him, "I'll definitely look into it," he assured.

"Good, I'll call you if anything changes," John's voice sounded relieved.

"Thanks John," Ash shut the phone a smile on his face as he walked back into the pub to the beer that was waiting and the story Milo had been relating to him. But his mind just wasn't quite in it anymore he couldn't get over what John had told him. Heero missed him? The idea was enough to have him laughing hysterically right then and there if it wouldn't have drawn too much attention.

Thanks for Reading!

**The Calm before the Storm**:

A soft almost inaudible knock on the door alerted Relena but didn't even appear to reach Heero. Looking over Relena watched as John quietly stepped into the room a small object held in his right hand. He crossed the room on nearly silent feet coming to a halt at the foot of the bed, he smiled at her warmly taking hold of the small silver item with both hands. "I hope you don't mind…" he half asked raising the digital camera before him.

Relena smiled brightly at the thought, carefully settling her head back to where it had been, "So long as I get a copy."

"That can definitely be arranged," he agreed with a large smile of his own.

Relena shifted on the bed a little still careful not to disturb Heero from his sleep, she turned her head towards him studying his features while relaxing her own. This close Relena all but forgot John was even standing there, she hadn't really taken a chance to look at him closely since he had come back to them. His face though still gaunt had filled out a little, returning slowly to what she remembered, chiselled features covered in slightly tanned skin. He was paler than normal but that was to be expected for how long he had been closed up inside. Relena took careful note of the two new scars that marred Heero's otherwise untouched face, as surprising fact considering all the battles he had been in.

She reached out to lightly touch his unruly hair, attempting to remove it from his eyes, Relena didn't try and neaten it, she liked it messy, she just felt it was getting a little long. It had been exceptionally long when he had been brought in, but at some point it had been cut short again, it was beginning to look like it needed to be trimmed. He looked so peaceful laying there, each breath brushing warmly across her skin.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	44. The Calm before the Storm

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: I hope everyone enjoyed the last chapter! I'll try and get more out as soon as I can.

**Disclaimer**: Once again from one chapter to the next nothing has changed, I'm still working, and hold no rights of ownership to Gundam Wing.

**The Calm before the Storm**

Relena strode off the elevator with her steps light and a smile on her face. she hadn't felt this good in a long time, not since before the assassination attempt. Sure people had believed she had been happy and content with her life, moving in a forward direction, but that had just been the news media. They only saw what she wanted them to see, she had acted, performing well enough to earn herself an award. Still it had only been a façade. Those who really knew her, saw her off camera and stood by her threw the last three years they had known differently.

She smiled to herself feeling a spark of excitement quiver within her, Relena always felt that way when she made her way to Heero's room. Even now a part of her found it hard to believe that he was there alive, and still loved her. There were times when it didn't seem real or possible, those thoughts mostly came in the night or early morning hours when her mind—still half asleep—remember the loneliness. Days like those Relena practically rushed to Heero's room, to prove to herself that it was as she had left it. That Heero waited for her as she had always dreamed he would.

She felt like they had been making real progress in rebuilding their relationship these last few weeks. There had been awkward silences Relena didn't think she could cross, and Heero at times seemed bothered by something Relena couldn't understand. But despite all that they had moved closer to where they had been, she felt fairly sure Ash had helped a lot with easing relations. So much so that Relena had been sorry to see the man go, she held no animosity towards him for what had happened in the past. Seeing closer how Heero reacted with Ash it amazed her that he had found such a friend.

Coming to a stop close to Heero's door Relena smiled warmly at John as he walked from that very room. "Good afternoon John," she greeted studying the doctor's expression carefully, hoping to gleam from him what Heero's mood might be like.

"Relena," he smiled down at her with a fatherly air about him, "Heero will be glad to see you."

"I hope so," she glanced towards the door, "How has he been?"

John's eyes also turned to study the door, "Ash's been gone for five days, and Heero's moods been getting darker." He returned his attention to Relena offering her another smile, "I don't think he realises what the problem is, but I'm sure you'll be able to help."

"Does Ash know?" she chuckled softly imagining his face if he had heard the news.

"I called him yesterday," John confirmed, "He was quite surprised, haven't mentioned anything to Heero."

"That's probably for the best, has he eaten today?" she inquired feeling concerned about how thin Heero still was. Relena knew it was going to take time for Heero's body to put on the weight he had lost, but she had thought by now there should have been some change.

John nodded his head, "He's removed his IV so I've been giving him water and a food supplement, it seems to be going over relatively well. I'll be bringing him something more in a few hours."

"Alright, I thought I might try and distract him," one of John's eyebrows raised, "With a movie," Relena quickly finished laughing.

"Ah…" John said smiling, "Well I'll leave you to that, I'll be right next door if you need anything."

"Thanks John," Relena watched the old doctor walk the few steps it took to bring him to the next door and disappear inside, before she knocked on Heero's. She waited only a moment before punching in the code and walking into the room. Heero's expression before he looked over appeared disgruntled which wasn't all that unusual, but as his eyes turned to see her his expression relaxed.

"Relena…" she felt a shiver run down her spine, thousands of time she heard people say her name, but no one could say it like Heero.

"Heero," she returned with a wide smile, "Happy to see me?"

"Very," he told her his own lips turning up slightly an expression very rare for Heero.

"Good," Relena continued taking a seat on the edge of Heero's bed, "I thought we might be able to relax and watch a movie."

Heero's body relaxed further at that suggestion, and Relena thought she could guess why. Sitting together watching a movie meant no chance of awkward moments or conversations, allowing them to simply be together and enjoy all that that meant. They had had few difficult moments over the last few weeks and Relena hoped very much that they'd continue to have less as time went on. Opening the laptop up Relena placed the data disc she had brought with her one the table and waited for the computer to come out of hibernation.

Relena took a moment to look Heero over as they waited. his eyes were on the computer screen, giving her the perfect moment. His dark eyes looked tired to Relena, it was a tired she knew all too well, it was a tired where your brain refused to shut down. She wondered how long he had been like this, it was doubtful in the mood John had described to her that Heero would have accepted something to help him sleep. She had become accustom to how Heero looked a while back, and though she longed to see him strong and on his feet, he still looked gorgeous to her.

Blinking suddenly, Relena realised Heero was watching her, and probably had been for a little while now. Smiling at him Relena felt a blush creep onto her cheeks as she turned to slip the data disc into the computer. Through the corner of her eye Relena watched Heero shift on the bed moving towards the far right of the bed to give her room. Excitement shook within her as she looked over to Heero once more, this was more than she had even allowed herself to hope for. Relena selected one of the files on the disc before slipping her shoes off so she could stretch out on the bed beside Heero. The former pilot laid his left arm out behind her and she settled herself against him feeling as though this was a dream.

"I hope this is something you can enjoy," she said to him softly, "At the very least you can keep track of the inaccuracies."

He looked directly at her, their faces very close to each other now, "It'll be fine," he assured his left hand curling up on the side of her hip.

Relena smiled at that settling a little closer to Heero resting her hand lightly on his side, she was concerned about hurting him, but the gentle squeeze he gave to her hip told her it was alright. Settling onto the bed and resting her head on the pillow Relena turned her attention to the movie which was starting, it was an action-packed movie with a good story line and just the right amount of romance, something she thought Heero could enjoy. She doubted Heero would be able to lose himself in the storyline like she could, but she hoped it would prove a nice distraction for him, something to take his mind off all the dark thoughts she could see hinted in his eyes.

When they had been together over three years back they had watched some movies together, but Relena had never been sure if Heero enjoyed them or was just humouring her. Even if he was those moments had been ones she'd greatly cherished. This felt to her like the first real moment back where they had been, and she couldn't help but close her eyes for a brief second savouring it. As though in response Relena could feel Heero relax into the bed and almost without thought the fingers on his left hand began to move across her skin gently. Had she been able to hug him tightly then without causing him extreme pain Relena knew her arms would have been around him without hesitation.

Relena found her attention flickering from Heero to the movie to random thoughts she couldn't keep from tossing through her head. She remembered the first time she had read in a magazine that her favourite movies were the fluffy girly ones, with no true plot. It had struck her as very odd considering the fact she had never said that and never would, she didn't hate that sort of movie rather she liked them to watch after a particularly stressful day. They were something she could just shut her mind down for there was no reason or need to think. What Relena really preferred was some action, suspense with a little romance, she wasn't surprised people assumed she preferred the girly ones, it just seemed to fit, but she liked to surprise people every now and again.

Her attention was drawn back to the present when she heard Heero snort in derision at a gun fight that was going on, looking up at him Relena saw him to be slowly shaking his head. "He should have reloaded twice by now," he explained blinking several times as he spoke as though he were beginning to really feel his exhaustion.

Smiling brightly Relena laughed softly, "I knew you'd notice that," she caught him looking down at her, and smiled a little wider. "Yes I knew that was in there when I decided to show it to you, I believe Wufei was the first to point it out," over the years she had received some instruction from each pilot on self defence and weaponry. She had done her best to retain everything they told her, knowing that one day in a tight situation it might be what saves her life.

Returning their attention to the movie Relena was finally able to focus her mind on the story line unfolding before her. As she was lying with Heero Relena felt like she could lose herself for the first time in a long time, just feeling Heero beside her his chest slowly rising and falling with each breath. She wasn't entirely sure at what point in the movie Relena began to notice just how deep and even his breaths had become. With careful movements Relena looked over to Heero finding his head resting towards her his eyes closed and his face relaxed almost peaceful. Shock swept over her at realising Heero was asleep right next to her.

This wasn't the first time she had witnessed such a thing, but this different. On several occasions Relena had woke in her room to find Heero sleeping on the couch, but she had known, if she so much as raised her head to get a better look at the former pilot, Heero would have been on his feet. They were all light sleepers, had to be during the war, and such habits were hard to break. Relena had wondered on several occasions how Duo and Hilde managed it. Shifting carefully Relena wasn't all that surprised when Heero didn't rouse, he had been so tired, she was just grateful he was getting some rest.

A soft almost inaudible knock on the door alerted Relena but didn't even appear to reach Heero. Looking over Relena watched as John quietly stepped into the room a small object held in his right hand. He crossed the room on nearly silent feet coming to a halt at the foot of the bed, he smiled at her warmly taking hold of the small silver item with both hands. "I hope you don't mind…" he half asked raising the digital camera before him.

Relena smiled brightly at the thought, carefully settling her head back to where it had been, "So long as I get a copy."

"That can definitely be arranged," he agreed with a large smile of his own.

Relena shifted on the bed a little still careful not to disturb Heero from his sleep, she turned her head towards him studying his features while relaxing her own. This close Relena all but forgot John was even standing there, she hadn't really taken a chance to look at him closely since he had come back to them. His face though still gaunt had filled out a little, returning slowly to what she remembered, chiselled features covered in slightly tanned skin. He was paler than normal but that was to be expected for how long he had been closed up inside. Relena took careful note of the two new scars that marred Heero's otherwise untouched face, as surprising fact considering all the battles he had been in.

She reached out to lightly touch his unruly hair, attempting to remove it from his eyes, Relena didn't try and neaten it, she liked it messy, she just felt it was getting a little long. It had been exceptionally long when he had been brought in, but at some point it had been cut short again, it was beginning to look like it needed to be trimmed. He looked so peaceful laying there, each breath brushing warmly across her skin.

"He's really been needing this," John said softly as he lowered himself in the chair beside Heero's bed putting himself in Relena's line of sight.

"He's been pushing himself?" it wasn't really a question, Relena knew Heero well enough to know that's exactly what he had been doing. He was always pushing himself harder, never more so when in a position like this, where he wanted nothing other than to be standing on his own two feet.

John's expression twitched into a smile, though one that didn't really reach his eyes, "For his own good Heero's going to have to learn patience."

"Good luck teaching him," Relena laughed very softly.

"I'm sure you could, given enough time," John told her with a sly smile that caused Relena to blush. A slow smile took her feature then as she turned her gaze to study Heero's sleeping face, she wanted to kiss him but feared it might wake him. "Heero asked me a rather odd question a while back," John broke the silence suddenly, drawing Relena's eyes back to him.

"Oh?" she asked curiosity peeked.

"He wanted to know why I was here," John sifted on his seat a little, and Relena felt a cold shiver run down her back clearly remembering a conversation which revolved around a similar question. "I answered him as best I could," the old doctor continued, "But I could tell it wasn't what he was looking for." Relena brushed her fingers lightly through Heero's hair, they had worked hard to move forward from that moment, and none of it had been easy. "I figured the sudden question had been brought on by a visit from you…"

Relena didn't look at John, she wasn't surprised he had come to that conclusion. That day hadn't been the only one Relena couldn't understand why—when all they wanted was to be back together—they kept hurting each other. "He asked me the same question…" she whispered finally still not looking at John. "He accused me of being here just because I felt obligated too…" slowly she looked up at the old doctor finding an understanding expression on his face.

"What did you tell him?" John prompted leaning forward in his seat.

Sighing at the memory, she wished there had been a better way of answering his question, of reassuring him despite the fact that reassuring Heero seemed so crazy. "I…told him it wasn't a fair question…" she began slowly gently running her fingers through his bangs again. "I'm not here because I have to be, but I still feel guilt for all that's happened," there was so much she wanted to tell him, to make him understand, "I don't think he can see the difference."

"It is a very fine line," John agreed, "And considering he's having to deal with guilt and apologies almost every time someone walks through the door, I think we can hardly blame him…"

"I don't blame him," Relena answered quickly intent gaze turning to John, she wanted that to be clear, "I don't." she chewed at her lip, trying to find the words she had been struggling with when she had discussed this with Heero, "I…love him…" it shouldn't have been hard for her to say, she had felt it for a long time, had told Heero on many occasions, but it had never been said to anyone else. The pilots and her brother had all known, but it had never been a topic of conversation, at least not while she was around. It felt good to say it to someone other than Heero, to see a warm smile touch the old doctor's features as he looked at the two of them.

It surprised Relena at how comfortable she felt laying here talking to John—of all people—about Heero and her. It had been a long time since she had felt comfortable even bringing Heero up in conversation. And if almost felt like a floodgate had opened, there was so much she wanted to say, she hadn't even really realised all she had been holding back. But could she speak with John on a subject she hadn't with anyone else? In the fatherly way John smiled at her, and that open understanding light in his eyes told Relena she could. And with Heero continuing to sleep beside her it wasn't like she was about to go anywhere right away.

"I think it's safe to say that your relationship with Heero, as been anything but normal," John eased the silence, while leaving her an opening.

Relena chuckled dryly at that, memories flashing before her eyes of so many moments shared with Heero, either together with him—which hadn't been saying very much—or staring down the barrel of his gun. "There were so many moments, around the time I first met him that I thought I was in a movie. But then a battle would break out or I'd be staring down the barrel of Heero's gun…" she shook her head.

John gave a little start at that, "He pulled his gun on you, and you weren't scared off?"

"I was an idealist," her fingers played with the blankets that covered Heero, "Still am I know, but I'd like to think I've gain a little more sense through experience." Through the corner of her eyes Relena caught John nodding his head in agreement, "I just saw something in his eyes that wouldn't let me walk away."

"I know exactly what you mean there," John nodded his head quickly, leaving Relena to only imagine what he had seen in Heero's eyes when he had first walked into that room.

Relena's expression became darker then as her blue eyes studied Heero's sleeping face, "I sometimes find myself wondering why he puts up with me. I was just a spoiled little girl following him around back then, he was a soldier fighting for a cause. I just wanted to see the fighting ended, I must have stepped in his way more than once."

"He puts up with you because he loves you." the old doctor told her firmly.

"You know he's never said it to me," she said sadly, "I know it's something that wouldn't be easy for him, but I thought we had been making progress that I might actually be able to hear those words."

"Relena…" John spoke her name gently but the young woman just shook her head.

"I know it shouldn't matter, he expresses so much more with actions that words could ever do…"

"He had given up!" it was John's turn to cut in leaning close to her his brown eyes intent upon her face. "That day you and Wufei came to see him, he had given up, it was hearing you that brought him back." He settled back a little then an understanding smile warming his face, "I understand this isn't easy, for either of you, but it's coming I can already see the difference."

Relena rested her head next to Heero's letting her whole body relax, it was true, she could see the changes herself. But they were overshadowed by the tension and distance between them, she wanted at all times to feel relaxed with Heero, to be able to wined down after a long day by listening to the sound of his heart. With how they were now Relena couldn't help but wonder if that could be just around the corner.

WMWMWMW

John relaxed back in his chair, the warm sunlight falling across his neck and shoulders as he watched Heero silently. The boy was working diligently on his laptop, face focused intently on the screen, Heero's stubborn nature never ceased to amaze John. It was the last day of June, and the old doctor finally felt Heero might be ready to make the next step on the road to his recovery. Over the past few weeks Heero had been working at regaining strength and control in his limbs, through games of chess, working on the laptop, and Trowa coming in to see him during the night. John watched as Heero bent his right knee a little drawing the leg off the bed before relaxing it and without thought moving to the next.

He had been going back and forth like that for a while now, and as pleased as John was to see the progress being made, he couldn't help but be concerned as well. Heero was determined, most definitely to a fault, and John doubted the boy would be willing to give his muscles the necessary time to rest. John could understand Heero's want and need to be back on his feet, and now that he was finally seeing some progress he'd only want to work harder. Still John was concerned, what Heero was continuing to do was just the first step, it was going to take a lot of hard work to get Heero back on his feet. And John had been thinking for a while he was in way over his head, he was no physical therapist, but he was positive Heero was going to need one.

Heero paused in his work to look John's way, a questioning eyebrow raised, the old doctor merely smiled, "Not leaving until you finish your meal." He doubted such a threat would get any sort of results in fact it could keep him sitting here for the rest of the day. For his part the boy rolled his eyes before returning them to the screen.

So John continued to study the boy, he wasn't in a rush to leave the room, there was nowhere he really had to be at the moment. Heero paused in his work again, a barely audible sigh escaping him as he slowly worked his right arm. John was surprised Heero had gone this long, his arms had to be aching from holding them as he did to type. The Japanese boy switched his focus to his left arm then, and John watched as Heero carefully moved it, "Is that arm very sore right now?" It shouldn't have been giving him more problems than his right, it had sustained less injury.

"Old injury," Heero answered glancing towards John, as he massaged the shoulder, "Lost some movement in the shoulder."

John knew what injury Heero was speaking about now, he had seen the large scar that marred Heero's shoulders. As he understood it Heero had received that injury when he had self destructed his Gundam. And if he remembered correctly Trowa had been the one to work Heero back onto his feet. The situation had not been ideal at the time, and it was no surprise Heero had lost movement in the joint due to the injury. Being reminded of this John was all that much more determined not to see that sort of thing happen again, he wanted Heero back to one hundred percent, whatever that was before all this happened.

Having come to a sudden decision one he had been considering for some time John stood from his chair. He wanted to get Sally's opinion on the matter before he set anything into motion, she still knew Heero better than John did, so for the moment she'd be the best judge. Walking across the room John could feel Heero's eyes upon him and through the corner of one brown eye John thought he saw the boy smirk. So he thought he won had he? "I hope you have that finished before I get back, or I may just have to have Wufei hold you down," John smiled then at the dark expression Heero sent his way, but he could see there was no real heat behind it.

Striding from the room John made his way out of the pilot's wing of the agency, and headed for the medical wing, positive Sally would be found in her office at this time of the day. He smiled at everyone he passed finally feeling more like himself now that Heero was well and truly on the mend, and there was less tension from the people around him. He knew his wife was relieved, it had hurt him to cause her concern, but he wasn't in a position to tell her. He knew she would continue to be understanding about it. John wondered if there would ever come a time where he could tell his wife about who he had been caring for, he hoped so.

John walked calmly into Sally's clinic eyes glancing over the few patients sitting in the waiting room before smiling up at the receptionist. "Would you mind letting Sally know I'd like a few moments of her time?" he asked leaning a hand on the desk.

"Sure John," Sarah nodded with a smile, "Go right on in, she shouldn't be too long."

Returning the smile John walked on passed and made his way down the door lined hall to Sally's office. Once inside John took a seat in front of her desk and waited, unsure how long it would be until Sally got to him, John reach out for a medical journal resting on the wooden desk. Flipping through it without really seeing anything of interest the old doctor sighed before his eyes randomly caught sight of a familiar name. Brodie Marks, the surgeon who had repaired the damage to Heero's left hand, had recently seen to the needs of a rising pianist who had been in a near fatal car accident. John's right eyebrow raised when he read the list of injuries focusing especially on the man's impaled right hand, and injury nearly identical to Heero's. For a brief second John had almost thought Brodie had been speaking about Heero, just choosing to fill in the blanks with information he liked.

"John," Sally's voice broke the silence of the office, "What brings you down here?" she walked around the desk to her chair and settled back. She had relaxed quite a bit over the last few weeks, seeming more like her normal self. relaxed her eyes no longer flashing with guilt every odd moment.

John closed the magazine tossing lightly back onto the desk, where Sally stopped it's momentum with her hand. "I actually wanted your opinion on something," he said running a hand across his jaw.

"Oh? Opinion on what?" she looked pleased though she had to have known it involved Heero in some way, that pleased John.

"Heero's getting to the point now where I think it's time to bring in a physical therapist to help with his recovery."

Sally's eyes widened at that, "I hadn't even thought that far ahead."

"Well it's no longer far now, I have no training in that area, and I don't want to see Heero lose any mobility because of this," John explained.

"I understand what you're saying John," Sally agreed quickly, though there was an obvious 'but' in her tone. "But I just don't see it working out, a therapist is going to have to get close to him, forget for a moment the world needs to think he's dead. A therapist is going to have to touch him work with him, know his weakness…" she shook her head in all seriousness, "I doubt he'll be for it."

"So you think he'll sacrifice his mobility to defend his pride?" John fired back, incredulous.

"He won't see it that way, he's a soldier John, has been his entire life. Acknowledging weakness is something very hard for them," she smiled a little then, "Why do you think I have to fight tooth and nail to get them to accept any treatment."

"I won't sit by and let him ruin his chances at a full recovery," John told her vehemently.

"I understand," she placated, "You've been thinking about this for a while now?"

"Off and on, I've got someone in mind, she incredibly talented and trustworthy," he had known Lauren for many years had watched her work with many of his patience and had always been pleased with the results.

"Can she handle a pilot?" Sally asked then.

John smiled a little at that, "She used to butting heads with both stubborn patients and the parents of. I'm sure Heero will be more of a challenge but I think she's up to it, and he couldn't possibly be in better hands."

"I'll admit I don't see this working, but what choice do we really have?" she leaned forward on her desk, "Have you thought about what you're going to say to Heero?"

"A little," John responded, "I don't really want to give him too much time to argue with me about it."

Sally sucked in a breath, "I hope you know what you're doing," John just smiled at that, "So who do you have in mind?"

John smiled, he knew sparks would fly because of this even if Heero wasn't the boy he was, "Lauren Stokes."

Thanks for Reading

**Because You Need it That's Why!**:

Heero shook his head, none of this mattered, none of this was John's concern, he would make it back on his own terms as he always had, "No," he growled the word out as an end to the conversation, but John was far from through.

He folded his arms across his chest with a shake of his own head, "The only answer here is yes," he stated as though it was the only fact important to the world. "I understand you're lack of trust in someone you've never met, but Leon's the best there is--"

"Trust has nothing to do with it," Heero ground out, it wasn't entirely true, but it wasn't at the true heart of the matter. He wasn't in control, and that was a place Heero felt he needed to be no matter what.

"Heero I don't want to sit by and watch you lose movement like you did in your shoulder, not when there's something I can do to prevent it," there was a note of finality to John's voice then.

Briefly Heero considered his shoulder, it was something he hardly ever thought about anymore, at the time there had been nothing they could have done differently. Why wish for something you couldn't change? He had simply worked at getting as strong as he could, and learned in the process how to compensate for the lost movement. "Why do you care so much!" he demanded then, knowing he had asked a similar question of the old doctor not too long ago, this time he was searching for a different answer.

John appeared slightly taken aback by that question, a flash of hurt racing across his eyes before he managed to hide it again. "Isn't it obvious Heero?" John asked back in a quiet gentle voice, that betrayed a little of the hurt he felt. Heero held firm to his anger, not wanting to let himself feel regret over this, in the end it had to be his choice, no one would run his life. "I'm going to see you get better no matter what it takes," he said firmly as though reaffirming his resolution in his own mind, but it did nothing to change Heero's way of thinking.

"It's not your decision to make," Heero said, desperately wanting to be on his feet and closer to eye level with the old doctor.

"It is this time," John folded his arms as though that should have ended it all.

"Why!" Heero's hand gripped his gun until it hurt, but the pain proved an outlet to his anger.

"Sometimes Heero, parents do what they feel is best for their children," John explained his voice becoming gentle again, as he lowered himself to the edge of the bed, "Despite what their children want." It was so matter of fact, and so straight to the point that Heero felt stunned, it was the last answer he had expected to receive.

He didn't honestly know what to say to something like that, he was not at all familiar with the definition of parents. He knew there was something fundamentally different between parents and guardians, which he knew he had had a few of over the years. But that didn't help him to know how to deal with this. A part of him wanted to flare up at the statement, what difference could that make? John feeling like a father to him? It shouldn't have mattered to Heero at all, but somehow it did. The more rational side of his mind told Heero, he couldn't disregard what he didn't fully understand. Still at the same time he was no less eager to let that physical therapist near him.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	45. Because You Need it That's Why!

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Sorry about the delay, I have another double chapter for all of you, I hope you all enjoy.

Thanks to my editors! **Pious Knight **and **morgansgirl **You guys are great!

**IchikoKitsuneKourmori**: Good question, I never really thought about it! Thanks for the review!

**Mini Nicka**: Thanks for the review, I'm glad you enjoy the Heero Relena moment, there's more of that to come and I think the next one is from Heero's point of view so I hope it satisfies, thanks again!

**L.A.Une**: Sorry that it's a little late but two more chapters ought to make up for it, at least I hope, thanks for the review!

**Raizard333**: Thanks for the review, Heero discovers that he carries the brand in chapter 51 and let's just say he's not happy about it. As for the action, it's still a little way away, it wouldn't be much fun if Heero couldn't take part in it. I'm sorry this all feels like it's taking so long, I hope you'll stick with it though, the action will happen. The thought of Heero fighting the enemy on his hands is rather amusing (laughs) thankfully it won't come down to that. Well I hope you enjoy the introduction of Lauren, thanks again!

**Timmy**: Welcome aboard, I have to say I was really throw with your first review, I had been reading reviews sent to me for chapter 44, and then I came to yours and I didn't see it was chapter 10 (laughs) and I couldn't understand why you thought Dante was evil, good times! Yeah sorry about this, I've joked that this is the never ending story, but believe me it does have an end (smiles) it's just a long way away. Thank you so much for the great reviews, I hope you enjoy these chapters!

**D3**: Thanks for the reviews, and so begins John's mission at taking pictures of Heero and Relena, oh what fun he'll have (laughs) poor Heero. Thanks for the reviews!

**1xR fanfatic**: Thanks for the review, there more 1xR to come I promise, as for Lauren you don't have to worry, she's in her early forties, and she and Heero don't exactly get along. Thanks again!

**kirbus**: Thank you so much! I've really REALLY enjoyed writing this story, and it's taken me a long time to do it, so I'm really glad you're enjoying it! Ice cream makes everything better!

**Sofi**: I commend you, I'd never pick up a story that's already 44 chapters long (laughs) I'm really lazy. But thank you, Thank you so much! I have to tell you just how much I appreciated your review, it came at just the right time. I've been concerned by some of my reviews that things are dragging, I had a feeling it might just be because of the time between posts, and what you say confirms it for me. Thanks again! I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

**Terra**: Thank you, if you continue reading I hope you continue to enjoy.

**Wufei-the-back-side-slayer**: It's so true, I tend to have an annoyingly observant eye, something's just jump out at me. You have a really creative mind that's an interesting idea of the Inner Circle being behind the movie, but they're not. It was actually an idea by my friend neekabe something that could be brought up now and again, and in the end be a little amusing for the pilots when they actually sit down to watch it. You can imagine despite the amount of information these men might get, things are still going to be incredibly off (laughs). Thanks for the review!

**ghostreader**: thank you, here's yet another double chapter, I never expected to put out so many, but I'm hoping this will help keep up the pace. I certainly don't want the pilots to take on the Inner Circle without Heero present, so I hope you'll continue to enjoy until I get to that point! Thanks again!

**BlackRedDragonHeart**: Thanks so much for the reviews! I don't think anyone shed a tear for Luc when he died (laughs) poor Luc he was just insane and obsessed. I hope you enjoy the these chapters.

**Auza-Isaka-Winner**: Thank you for the review (smiles) insane as always! So many character (laughs) I hope they all enjoy the next two chapters, thanks so much!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gundam Wing, and do not make and money off of it….

**Because You Need it That's Why!**

"So John, you going to tell my why I'm here?" a female voice asked from behind.

John turned to face Lauren with a smile, "I would have thought it'd be obvious Leon, I have a patient that needs your expertise."

"Hmph, usually you bring me to the infirmary, not some out of the way corner of the agency," Lauren had stopped walking, and John turned to look at her finding her arms folded across her chest.

"Well, this isn't exactly your usual patient," John replied vaguely with a smile on his face. She was a woman in her early forties, nearly John's height and built rather broad in the shoulders. John had always known her to be that way, she had the strength necessary to work with just about any size patient, not that that would be a concern with Heero. Leon's brow drew down a little as John continued to smile at her, she was a stubborn woman. Who wouldn't back down from any challenge.

"You're not going to tell me any more?" she asked nearly tapping her foot.

John shook his head, "At the moment, no. But if you'll follow me things may start to make sense."

"May?" the therapist asked finally stepping up beside John, "That's not much help."

"Sorry, this isn't really a normal situation," John apologised as they finally reached the door he had been looking for.

"Well I can see that, just who exactly are you wanting me to work with? The king?" there was a laugh in her voice as she said it.

The doctor laughed himself, "No, certainly not that," he punched in the code and motioned for Leon to proceed him into the room.

Une rose from her seat at their entrance, along with Wufei and the smile dropped from Leon's face, "Commander Une," she spoke with surprise.

"Lauren Stokes, John's told us a great deal about you," Une welcomed in a business like way as she extended a hand towards the therapist, "Please just call me Une." They had spent several hours discussing this meeting before John had actually gone out to arrange it. Unable to divulge any details until Leon agreed to work with a patient she couldn't even know the name off right off was not going to be easy to work with. John had faith that Leon would be willing to perform the job, but they had to be sure first of all that there was no chance of this information slipping past her for any reason.

Leon's eyes worked from Une to Wufei and back again, John could tell she was trying to figure out just what was going on. "Uh…call me Leon…" it was an odd pet peeve of hers she never liked being called by her actual name. The way John understood it, back when she was about two or three an uncle unable to remember the name Lauren had started calling her Leon instead, after than it had just stuck. John had thought it an odd story at the time, but the name suited her, though that could have just been for the fact that he hadn't known her by anything else.

"Please have a seat, Leon," Une bade moving back to her seat across the table along with Wufei. John settled himself back in the chair knowing he was basically riding the sidelines on this one, that was unless Leon got out of hand. She could be incredibly headstrongsometimes there was no telling her anything other than what she wanted to hear. John wouldn't say he had a knack for dealing with her, but she did tend to listen to him, if only a little.

"This wasn't at all what I was expecting when John called me in today…" she said rather bluntly, willing to speak her mind almost any time. "Just what exactly have you got me into John?"

"Nothing illegal, we can assure you of that," Une answered for the old doctor, while John just nodded his head in agreement, understanding how this must have looked for the therapist.

"What sort of patient are we dealing with here?" Leon quickly questioned, but didn't give them time to respond, "I can't think of many that would in any way require the overview of both the Commander of the Earth Defence Corp. and one of Relena's personal bodyguards."

Une rested her hands calmly upon the table, "Before we can get to that I need to know if you're working with any other patients at this time?"

"Not really," Leon began a note of suspicion in her voice, "I see one patient every other week just to make sure he's keeping up, but that'll end soon."

"If you take on this patient it'll be imperative that you don't take on any more patients," John explained softly, they couldn't have her trying to balance Heero along with any other too many chances for questions to be asked. Though that wasn't to say making herself unavailable wouldn't also do the same.

Leon glanced about the room, "Just who is this patient? Why would something like that be such a concern?"

Wufei sighed then, they had all known this wasn't going to be easy. "Can you at least answer one question?" he asked onyx eyes expressionless, "Are you willing to work with just one patient without revealing the patient to anyone?"

"Leon, John has told us you're the best there is, that's why we've come to you first," Une said then, following John's advice. Leon was a self assured woman, not at all above flattery.

She looked at John then, having the decency to blush a little but not bothering to attempt to down play the praise. "This isn't normal…" she breathed more to herself, as she still sounded undecided. But at the same time John could see her curiosity was peeked by all this secretiveness, "Alright, I'll do it."

A tiny smile flickered across Une's lips then as she motioned silently towards Wufei, who opened the folder in front of him and removed a single sheet of paper. "We'll need you to sign this Non-Disclosure Agreement before we can proceed," Une told the therapist as the paper was passed across the table.

Leon's eyes quickly read over the document, "This is really serious…"

John knew she was talking to herself more than the room but decided to put in his two cents anyways, "With good reason, believe me."

"I think it's worth pointing out that once you're in, that's it, you're in, we can't afford to have you going back." Wufei folded his hands before him after placing a pen on the paper in the center of the table, "Will you see this to the end?"

"Hard to say when I don't know what I'm getting myself into," Leon admitted honestly, "But I've never been afraid of a challenge before." Leon said with a smile as she scrawled her name across one line before passing it back. "I just wonder was all this necessary? If you had asked me to keep quiet about this, John you know I would have."

"With this we're not taking any chances," Wufei interjected before John could respond, but that had been roughly what he would have said anyways so he didn't complain. Une signed the paper before putting it before Wufei, and with that last signature the deal was done.

A moment of silence passed over the room, but it was only that, a moment, "So who's the patient?" Leon didn't seem able to contain her curiosity any longer.

"Heero Yuy," Une told her bluntly.

"What?" she looked to each person sitting around the table, "No really, who's the patient?"

"Une wasn't lying, Leon," John told his friend, wondering how he would have reacted in her situation.

"For reasons that don't bare going into at this moment, we needed the world to believe Agent Yuy was a traitor, and also dead," Une explained then, drawing Leon's disbelieving gaze back towards her, "Obviously we need the Earth Sphere to believe he's still dead."

Leon's face became incredibly serious as she looked from one face to the next, "I'd like to know exactly what's going on. You have to realise just how little sense this is all making right now."

Une pushed her chair back from the table, expression firm as she spoke to the therapist, "At the moment we only need you to help Agent Yuy get back on his feet. That doesn't require any more information than medical, which John will be more than happy to fill you in on," with that said Une stood from her seat extending a hand towards Leon, which the therapist slowly took. "If you'll excuse us, we have other matters to attend to," John also rose from his seat as Une and Wufei both made their way towards the door.

Mentally bracing himself as the door closed behind them John turned to regard Leon, seeing the look of displeasure on her face, "Just what have you gotten me into?"

"You were left with every opportunity to say no," John attempted to placate with a raised hand, "You understand why I couldn't tell you anything."

"I'd say I don't really understand anything right now," she folded her arms across her chest, "Just what the hell has been going on around here?"

John sighed, "I'm not in a position to tell you any more than what Une already has, I know how you feel though, I just hope you'll be able to work with him despite that."

"I guess I don't have much choice now…" together they moved towards the door, "So how'd you get drawn into this, I thought you had retired."

"I tried too…" John began with a smile, "But there's always someone who needs help."

"I take it he's not being kept in the infirmary."

"No, too risky," the old doctor reached into a coat pocket and removed a key card, "He's being kept in a room that's more than adequately equipped for his needs. This key card will get you past all the security," he passed it too her as they left the office portion of the agency.

Leon turned the card over in her hands, "Are you going to tell me a little about him?" she glanced at the men and women walking by all busy with their jobs, "I can see this isn't the best place to do it."

"I'll tell you all I can about his condition once we get up to his room," not much was said after that as the two walked through the numerous halls until they reached the elevator needed to take them to the pilots' wing of the base. John watched Leon carefully through it all, able to almost see the thought process upon her face. She was looking progressively more frustrated with each passing minute, but there wasn't much John could do about that. He felt positive that once Leon was in her element working with Heero, how Heero had come to be here, and why the world had to think he was dead, her frustration would no longer matter.

They stepped off the elevator and John lead the way down the empty hall, choosing the door next to Heero's room. Leon gave a small start on entering the room, to find nothing but observation equipment, "I thought I'd be meeting the patient…" the therapist said taking a step further into the room, and turning to face John.

"Not today. I wanted to get everything arranged first. Heero didn't exactly sleep well last night, and I'd imagine he's still sleeping now," walking over to the monitoring screen John saw exactly what he expected to see.

"He's not on a normal sleep schedule?" Leon sounded surprised by that.

"Mostly," John responded taking a seat, and pushing one closer to Leon, "In any case, here's your patient," he gestured to the monitor displaying the color image of Heero sleeping in the large hospital bed. "And here's all the medical info you should need," they had gone rather sparingly on the details of how Heero's injuries had occurred, much as he had back when Heero had gone in for surgery.

Leon pulled her eyes away from the screen to read through the thin folder, "Well this is about as vague as everything I've been told so far…" she said after several moments.

"It'll tell you everything you need to know," John defended.

"Is how the injuries happened classified or something?" she fired back.

"No, just not important to your job," the old doctor turned more fully to face the therapist while leaning his elbow on the table face. "What is important is that you listen to what I'm about to tell you and do as I say," that raised an eyebrow.

"You know I don't take orders, especially from someone who has no experience in the field," Leon told him bluntly.

"But I do have experience with Heero, and I can tell you without any hesitation that's he's unlike any patient you've ever worked with. You can't treat him like you would all the rest," John's eyes drifted back to the computer screen briefly wondering if this could possibly work out.

Leon sighed, "What are you _suggesting_?" John didn't miss the stress of that last word, Leon could be an infuriatingly stubborn woman.

"Never go into his room without first knocking," he began firmly.

"Well that's just common courtesy," Leon responded sarcastically.

"But easily forgotten," John returned seriously, "When I take you in to see him tomorrow--"

"Wait, you'll be there?" she sounded incredulous, "You know I work alone."

John shook his head, "Not this time."

"What, you think he needs you to hold his hand?"

"No, but I do think it's safer for everyone involved if I'm in the room," John drew in what he hoped would be a calming breath. "Nevertheless, this is all beside the point, I don't want you to do anything without first telling him. And leave it an option for him, don't try to force anything on him."

Leon laughed then, a dry sarcastic laugh, "You want me to leave it for him to decide…" she turned her chair away slowly nodding his head. "And you also what to see him back up on his feet…" Leon stood from the chair, "If I left anything as an option for my patients they'd never walk again! What makes you think he's so special?"

"Leon I can tell you right now, you'll have a hard time getting him to rest once he's moving, he wants to be back on his feet more than anything," The old doctor came to his feet then, wanting to be at eye level with Leon.

"You know you're starting to sound like every parent I've ever had to deal with…" she said narrowing her eyes and shaking her head.

"Then you're clearly not listening to me," John retorted, "He's a soldier Leon, has been since he was a small child. Old habits die hard, and things haven't exactly been easy for him of late." John briefly debated how much he should tell Leon to try and get his point across, he didn't want to reveal more about events that Heero would have wanted, and he was pretty sure mentioning Luc would be crossing a line. "I'd say the best way to learn is through experience but I don't exactly want to be putting him or you through that, so for now just humour me."

The therapist folded her arms across her chest in what had come to be a trademark pose for her. Her expression wasn't pleased but John thought she might actually have been thinking his words over. "I had no idea this is what I was signing on for," she shook her head.

"If I had told you all of this before you signed the form, would you have refused?" John seriously doubted Leon would refuse anything, the only real question was would she do as he said, that John was not nearly so sure of.

Leon was a long time in responding, "I don't know…" she said finally, "I honestly don't like what I'm hearing but I guess I'll see tomorrow whether or not this is going to work," Leon reached for the folder sitting on the table. "Is it alright if I take this with me, to review his condition?"

"That's not a problem," they had taken special precautions to leave all mention of Heero's name from the file, he had known Leon would want to go over it before actually meeting with the boy.

"What time do you want me to meet with you tomorrow?" she asked, taking a step towards the door.

"Would ten be alright?" hopefully Heero would sleep better tonight and actually be awake.

Leon flipped the key card between her fingers, "I'll be here." Casting a friendly smile John's way, Leon walked from the room and John breathed a sigh of relief. Despite her aggressive nature John knew she didn't hold that anger for a long time, it was just how she had to be for the job she was required to do.

Sitting back down in his chair, John looked that the monitor seeing Heero shift slightly on the bed, still appearing fast asleep. Was now the time for him to really start thinking about how he was going to make the introductions? Sighing softly John knew it wasn't going to be easy, and more to the point nothing he thought of here would make any difference, he'd simply have to play it by ear, and hope he could make Heero see reason.

WMWMWMW

Heero lay in his silent room, eyes focused on the screen of his computer as he scanned over the information that was popping up. He had been spending his spare time searching through everything in the agency along with talking to Ash. They had established a secured line of communication shortly after Ash had returned to the colony, and spoke often. Ash rarely asked how Heero was feeling, most likely realising just how easy it would be for Heero to just disappear to avoid answering the question.

At the moment Ash was out running an errand for Dante, leaving Heero alone to do little more than continue catching up on the little details he hadn't had time for during the three years he had been gone. Heero was particularly drawn to anything heavily encrypted it wasn't much of a challenged to get around unless it had been written by one of the pilots. Such was what he was dealing with at the moment. He had stumbled across this file hidden away and the heavy security surrounding it had been an instant magnet, he couldn't think of what would require such a degree of care.

After only a few minutes of studying the encryption, Heero felt near positive that Duo had written it. Given a little time he'd be able to find his way around it. He felt a spark of excitement at cracking the code and discovering what required such protection. John had been in once today, and Heero hoped he might have a good stretch of time to himself to work at this, he really hated having to stop part way through.

WMWMWMW

John pushed his chair back form the desk as he moved to rise, he had been watching Heero from the observation room, as he waited for ten o'clock to come and for the day to actually begin. To say he felt nervous was an understatement. The fact that Heero might never forgive him for meddling in this was hadn't escaped him, but he wasn't about to let that stop him. This is what needed to be done, and so help him he'd see it through to the end.

Rising from his chair, John moved towards the door, wanting to meet briefly with Leon before they both went into Heero's room. It certainly wouldn't hurt to reiterate some of what he had said the day before just to make sure things went as smoothly as they could. Stepping out into a hallway that for all intensive and purposes should have been empty, John saw a sight that nearly stopped his heart. The door to Heero's room was opening in and Leon stepped through knocking as she did.

WMWMWMW

Busy hacking his way through the complicated coding Heero was almost completely unaware when the door opened, so used to a knock coming first that he found himself totally off guard. Panic gripped Heero's heart painfully as his ears registered the sound of someone knocking but it didn't matter now. His hands dropped away from the computer, searching out his gun, in what he wished could be a fluid motion. Heero pulled the weapon from its concealment and levelled it as surely as he could in the intruder's direction.

The woman who had just walked through his door stared at the gun in shock, her mouth hanging open as though she had been caught halfway to saying something. "Who the hell are you!" Heero demanded trying to replace the panic with anger. He was armed, he wasn't defenceless any longer, this woman couldn't do anything to him.

"Heero!" John's voice called out suddenly a familiar and reassuring sound, "I'm sorry," he apologised sounding horrified. The old doctor stepped in front of the woman, his expression becoming angry, "Leon wait for me outside!" there was no room for argument in his tone, and the woman still staring at Heero's gun didn't. She backed up without a word and the door closed behind her.

Lowing the gun slowly Heero didn't release the grip, not feeling threatened but at the same time not wanting to be caught off guard again. John turned from the door looking upset, "Heero I'm so sorry that happened, I told her not to do that."

"Just who is she?" Heero demanded working at getting his breathing back to normal, as his heart racing the way it was felt kind of painful.

"Her name is Lauren Stokes, she's a physical therapist I brought in to help you," John explained.

Heero blinked in surprise, still having no idea what John was talking about, "This is the first I've heard of it," he said darkly, not liking having 'decisions' made for him without his knowledge.

"Would you have been receptive to the idea if I had mentioned it a week ago?" John asked back, face calm eyes hard to read.

"No," Heero told him without hesitation, "I didn't ask for this."

"And you never would have," John fired right back, "I've been watching you, working with Trowa, it has been helping, but he doesn't know what you need. I want to see you get the right help so you can make a full recovery."

Heero shook his head, none of this mattered, none of this was John's concern, he would make it back on his own terms as he always had, "No," he growled the word out as an end to the conversation, but John was far from through.

He folded his arms across his chest with a shake of his own head, "The only answer here is yes," he stated as though it was the only fact important to the world. "I understand you're lack of trust in someone you've never met, but Leon's the best there is--"

"Trust has nothing to do with it," Heero ground out, it wasn't entirely true, but it wasn't at the true heart of the matter. He wasn't in control, and that was a place Heero felt he needed to be no matter what.

"Heero, I don't want to sit by and watch you lose movement like you did in your shoulder, not when there's something I can do to prevent it," there was a note of finality to John's voice then.

Briefly Heero considered his shoulder, it was something he hardly ever thought about anymore, at the time there had been nothing they could have done differently. Why wish for something you couldn't change? He had simply worked at getting as strong as he could, and learned in the process how to compensate for the lost movement. "Why do you care so much?" he demanded then, knowing he had asked a similar question of the old doctor not too long ago, this time he was searching for a different answer.

John appeared slightly taken aback by that question, a flash of hurt racing across his eyes before he managed to hide it again. "Isn't it obvious Heero?" John asked back in a quiet gentle voice, that betrayed a little of the hurt he felt. Heero held firm to his anger, not wanting to let himself feel regret over this, in the end it had to be his choice, no one would run his life. "I'm going to see you get better no matter what it takes," he said firmly as though reaffirming his resolution in his own mind, but it did nothing to change Heero's way of thinking.

"It's not your decision to make," Heero said, desperately wanting to be on his feet and closer to eye level with the old doctor.

"It is this time," John folded his arms as though that should have ended it all.

"Why?" Heero's hand gripped his gun until it hurt, but the pain proved an outlet to his anger.

"Sometimes Heero, parents do what they feel is best for their children," John explained his voice becoming gentle again, as he lowered himself to the edge of the bed, "Despite what their children want." It was so matter of fact, and so straight to the point that Heero felt stunned, it was the last answer he had expected to receive.

He didn't honestly know what to say to something like that, he was not at all familiar with the definition of parents. He knew there was something fundamentally different between parents and guardians, which he knew he had had a few of over the years. But that didn't help him to know how to deal with this. A part of him wanted to flare up at the statement, what difference could that make? John feeling like a father to him? It shouldn't have mattered to Heero at all, but somehow it did. The more rational side of his mind told Heero, he couldn't disregard what he didn't fully understand. Still at the same time he was no less eager to let that physical therapist near him.

"For now let's just let her evaluate your condition," John continued seeming to take Heero's silence as acquiescence as he stood from the bed. He smiled down at Heero warmly, his expression looking hopeful as he stepped towards the door. For his part Heero still found himself at a loss for words as he tried to understand the old doctor. He couldn't help but wonder how Sally would have handled this situation, had she not been weighed down with guilt, Heero knew without a moment's thought an argument would have broken out. Would he let her simply assume it was alright as John was so clearly doing? So why was he letting John assume so now? It was a question Heero didn't have an answer for, as he watched the old doctor walk from the room.

WMWMWMW

The subtle smile on John's face faded as he walked from Heero's room. This encounter had gone better than he had hoped, which really wasn't saying all that much. Heero's reaction at the end had not even entered his mind before he saw it. Stunned, thoughtful, and even a little pleased? He had looked totally confused like the thought of a parent was a foreign concept to him. John supposed that wasn't all that surprising considering the life Heero had had. Though he was surprised that it had been enough to silence the boy. It pleased John in so many ways, and at the same time saddened him, it was just one more reminder of what a sad childhood Heero had lived through.

A part of him was eager to fill Sally in on the progress they had made so far, but he reminded himself this was only the beginning. And Heero hadn't actually accepted Leon's help, so there was no telling how this second meeting was going to go. Stepping out into the hall John found Leon pacing the far length, she appeared to have recovered from her initial shock and appeared about as disgruntled as usual. "I told you!" John ground out, pleasant feelings aside he had been painstakingly clear, "Specifically, that you needed to knock."

"I did knock," she threw back halting and planting her feet, ready for a fight.

"That wasn't good enough!" John shook his head, "He needs the warning, _before_ you open the door," he stressed the word 'before' closing the distance between them.

"He's not a child John," Leon returned, "As you said he's a soldier, hell he's armed! What are you so concerned about?"

John hesitated in answering, debating for a heart beat just how much he should divulge, but if he wanted to make this painfully clear to Leon, it would have to at least be most of it. "The last time someone walked through that door unannounced they tortured him, that tends to leave a lasting impression."

That stopped Leon in her tracks, "What?" she shook her head while stepping right before John her eyes piercing into his, "Tortured!"

The old doctor raised his hands quickly and calmly, that was just the reaction he had known he would get but hadn't wanted to receive. What could he honestly say to this? 'it wasn't important'? not only was that not true, but it sounded just like Heero. John sighed, he wouldn't have had to mention it at all if Leon had just listened to him in the first place. "We have it under control, it's just really important that you don't catch him off guard."

She didn't appear entirely convinced as she glanced around John to the door behind him, "Does he still have the gun?"

"Yes, but I wouldn't worry, he's not likely to shoot you," Leon looked less than thrilled by his phrasing but if she remained a little wary of Heero, all the better, perhaps then she'd actually listen. He was half way tempted to assure he the gun was little more than a security blanket, but that would have sounded less reasonable than John pictured right now. Giving his head a brief shake he looked directly into Leon's eyes, "So are you ready to go back in there?"

"He's agreed to this?" she asked sounding incredulous.

"Well he at least hasn't out right said no," John admitted stepping towards the door he had recently left.

"You'll be sitting in…" Leon no longer sounded entirely bitter about that arrangement, and John had to hide his knowing smile from view.

"It's for the best," at the very least he hopped he could be a calming force for Heero, though he wasn't about to hold his breath, that was a little more Relena's role to play. Turning to motion for Leon to come towards him, John drew in what he hoped would be a calming breath, "Just remember to let him know what you're doing. A less abrasive approach wouldn't hurt either…"

That caused Leon to scoff, "He's got to be about the most spoiled patient I've ever been asked to deal with."

"He's hardly spoiled Leon," John countered, while at the same time wondering to himself if that was really the truth. After only a seconds thought John came to the decision even if Heero was he deserved it more than anyone the old doctor could think of. "You know better than anyone that the same tactic won't work for every patient."

"Alright…" she said with a sigh as though preparing herself for the coming battle, "Well, let's see what I'm up against."

John smiled a little as he pointedly knocked on the door before swiping his card through the reader. Even before the door had fully opened he could feel the tension in the room, Heero lay there waiting, his expression no longer appearing stunned, but had settled into a displeased glower. John however remained pleased, and as upbeat as he dared, nothing was going to make this easier. "Heero this is Leon Stokes" John introduced, choosing to use the therapist's preferred nickname. He then turned to Leon, "And Lauren, this is Heero Yuy." He smiled at her, "Now with that out of the way, let me just move this," the old doctor took a moment to move the table with Heero's laptop aside before walking across the room to take a seat in the chair next to Heero's bed.

From here he could watch Leon work with Heero, and perhaps better gage the boy's reaction to it all. For several moments Leon remained rooted where she was looking at Heero, and for his part the former pilot nearly glared daggers into her. Blinking as though snapping out of a trance Leon finally moved forward placing her file onto the table John had pulled away from the bed and opening it. She reached for a pen in her pocket, and took a moment to review the information. John wanted to say something to ease the tension he could feel emanating from Heero, but what could he possible tell the boy that would help in any way.

Leon stepped up to the bedside her golden brown eyes looking Heero over in slow sweeps as she opened her mouth to speak. "I've reviewed your medical files that John has provided me with, but I'd like to see for myself how you stand right now."

Heero remained silent, watching the therapist with unwavering eyes, and John thought he saw the boy's hand flex over the gun concealed beneath the sheets.

"So I'll tell you what we're going to do," Leon sounded a little more relaxed now that she was speaking to Heero, and John was glad that she was making herself clear to him. "I want to work each joint and muscle, find out what hurts and how much strength you have." She lightly rested her hands on the edge of the bed carefully closing the distance, "That'll give me a good idea of where to go from here, and how best to get you back on your feet again."

She glanced John's way with a questioning light in her eyes, as though she had expected to receive some sort of verbal response from Heero. John merely smiled, it'd be a cold day in hell before Heero offered anything to the conversation. He only hoped Heero could tolerate it enough to let Leon actually help him.

"Alright, I'd like to start with your left leg, I understand it didn't receive any injury?" she directed her question John's way, and the old doctor mutely nodded. It was about the only part of Heero that had escaped damage. Reaching out almost hesitantly Leon lifted the blankets from Heero's body and moved them aside to expose the desired limb. Heero's body tensed in response but Leon kept working, she expertly lifted Heero's leg, and began her exam.

"I'm going to need you to be honest with me Heero," she explained as she slowly began to rotate his ankle moving his foot one way and then another, while her other hand—holding the joint—gently pressed on it. "This is going to hurt, I just need to be sure of when it does, so you're going to have to tell me," she continued her work eyes flickering from his ankle to Heero's face, "If you don't feel anything I'm going to have to start worrying about nerve damage."

John held his breath in Heero's continued silence, watching closely to see if he'd speak but as the seconds continued to pass, and it was more than clear Leon was loosing patience John chose to speak up for the boy. "The joints in his legs may not be as stiff as you'd expect," he said finally drawing both eyes too him. "A friend has been working them carefully for a little over a month now, he's also been working to build up the strength in both legs."

Leon halted in her work turning a shocked expression John's way, "Why wasn't I told about this?"

"I don't see why it would matter, he hasn't hurt anything, in fact he's made your job a lot easier," John defended calmly.

"Easier?" she demanded lowering Heero's leg back to the bed far more gently than her outward demeanour implied. "You had an amateur start working with him?"

"Enough Leon, he's done it before, and there was no harm done," John knew even if he was able to placate Leon, once she made it to Heero's shoulders he'd be eating his words. It was by no means Trowa's fault that Heero lost the movement, but he already knew Leon was not likely to see it that way.

"Over a month…" Leon mumbled to herself rubbing at her temple, "Alright, I guess I'll have to do this a little differently." She stood a little straighter then looking down at Heero, arms folded across her chest, "Heero how far can you raise your legs?" she asked then, and John held his breath hoping Heero would comply.

A frustrated sigh escaped Heero, seconds before his eyes looked to John, and he slowly raised his knees off the bed, as the old doctor had watched him do many times. As much as Heero's actions pleased John, he refrained from smiling openly, feeling that would do little more than anger the boy further.

"Not bad," Leon commented as she unfolded her arms and took hold of Heero left leg, moving so she was partly on the bed she adjusted her hold so she could better apply pressure to the limb. "Push back," she instructed leaning into his leg, "And let me know if it hurts!" Leon stressed watching his face like a hawk.

John too studied Heero's disgruntled expression, he had been able to tell with little effort when the boy was in pain, and if Heero would refuse to admit it to Leon himself, John would take it upon himself. At the very least if his leg wasn't hurting breathing likely would, it was clear this was a strain for Heero as sweat began to bead on his forehead. As Leon let up Heero breathed deeply trying his best to conceal a wince. John shifted forward on his seat as Leon moved off the bed, having missed the reaction.

"Who's been working with him?" she asked even as John had opened his mouth to speak, "That's not bad," that was directed Heero's way. "He's better than I expected when I read the file," she flexed her hands as she walked closer to Heero's head.

"That's good to hear," John smiled with some relief, he hadn't doubted Trowa's work with Heero, but it was still nice to hear it had done good. "Leon, his ribs are still sore," he began no surprise receiving a dark look from the boy.

"I'll keep that in mind," she nodded her attention turning to the folder she had left on the table so she could scribble some notes onto a blank page. "Has any work been done with your arms?" she asked then.

Much to John's surprise Heero answered, it was the first he had spoken since the returned to his room, "A little."

Leon nodded, "Then I'd like to move on to that." Stepping back to the bed she lifted Heero's left arm, holding the limb at the wrist and elbow, "Are you right or left handed?" she asked in an almost conversational tone, as she worked.

"Both if I need to be," Heero responded watching her warily.

The therapist began working Heero's shoulder, "Hmm, you have an old injury here?" she continued to move the joint as much as it could, "There wasn't any mention in the folder…"

"It's old," John answered, noting Heero was almost leaning away from Leon to keep that feeling of distance between them. The longer he watched this, the more he began to wonder if this was actually going to work. They had made it this far, further than John anyone thought they would. But that didn't mean he was in the home stretch, he didn't like the stress he saw in Heero's eyes. There had to be a better way to do this, for the moment he just wanted to wait and see in the hopes that Heero might relax and be able to work more comfortably with Leon.

Drawing in a slow breath, he watched Heero's eyes darken dangerously as he jerked his arm from Leon's grasp. Pain flashed through his eyes like lightning there and gone an instant later, "Next time tell me when it starts to hurt," Leon said forcefully. John sighed this wasn't likely to work.

Thanks for Reading!

**Cornered With Nowhere to Run**:

Relena settled in resting her left hand lightly on his chest, her fingers absently playing with the folds of his shirt, "Do you need anything?" she asked looking deeply into his eyes.

Heero's first thought was _Not while you're here_ but that wasn't something he felt he could externalise, so instead he just looked back, and shook his head. Relena's smile grew as though she could read his thoughts and she leaned in slowly pressing her lips to his. His hand, still carefully tangled in her hair, pressed against her back, holding her where she was as he moved to deepen the kiss. He felt her hand slip inside his shirt gently stroking down his side, it was a light ghosting touch which caused him to shiver. They had managed to cross the barrier, break down that imposing wall that stood between them, Heero wasn't entirely sure when it had happened, or who had put more aside and struggled harder, but they were there.

Pulling back just enough to draw a breath of air Relena smiled down at him, "This isn't really restful is it?" she asked in a breathless voice. Settling down beside him Relena rested her head lightly on his shoulder removing her hand from within his shirt as she tilted her head to look up at him. "Do you remember Heero?"

He looked down at her his senses surrounded by her presence, "Remember what?"

"What changed us…" she answered vaguely, her eyes studying his face waiting for what he was sure should be recognition.

A bit of advice given to him by Duo floated out of the depths of Heero's mind as he looked back into Relena's eyes. 'About the only advice I can offer is to remember just about every little event, you'll never know which is really important to them until they ask about it later.' Heero didn't have to think for long to know what Relena had been vaguely referring to. His right hand moved from its resting place at his side and reached across his body for Relena's entwining their fingers together.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	46. Cornered with Nowhere to Run

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: I hope you enjoyed the last chapter!

Thanks again to my editors! You two rule!

**Disclaimer**: Still don't own Gundam Wing.

**Cornered With Nowhere to Run**

Trowa attempted to stifle another yawn as he leaned on Cathrine's couch. It had been a long couple of weeks for him, guarding Relena, performing at the circus, and finding time to work with Heero. He hadn't been left with too much time for sleep, but it was only just now beginning to catch up to him. He hadn't actually been able to go in to see Heero for the past two days, as he tried to find himself a little time to sleep. John had also spoken to Trowa about getting Heero on a more normal sleep schedule, now that John was going to be bringing in a physical therapist to work with Heero.

"Aww, my poor little brother, what have they been doing to you?" Cathrine asked sweetly as she walked into her trailers small living room.

"Nothing I can't handle," he replied looking up to her with a smirk. Nearing on four years since the war had ended, the circus had ceased to travel the earth and colonies. Preferring to remain near to the Sank Kingdom as a permanent tourist attraction, but despite the fact they no longer traveled most of the performers still lived within their little trailers. Preferring the memory of years past over the more permanent feel of a house.

"Well here," she said offering him a steaming glass, "I made you some coffee."

Trowa accepted the drink with a nod of thanks, and quickly swallowed a large mouthful, it burned his mouth and throat but he was used to that feeling and actually rather enjoyed it. He took a moment to study his sister as she busied herself about the living room. His memories from during the war were unusual to say the least, especially where Cathrine was concerned. He could remember meeting her twice, seeing her as a different person each time. Once a cheerful woman, who had tried to get to know him despite his cold persona. And another time, as his protector when he had forgotten almost everything. She was now a little mix of both, he no longer looked to her for protection, but that didn't stop her from trying to protect him.

It had surprised Trowa the first time he had felt possessive of his sister, when he had watched a few guys leering at her from a distance. She dressed to impress, always had, it often drew the wrong kind of attention but Cathrine was prepared to handle that, so Trowa had remained silent on it. She looked back over her shoulder winking at him, "Something on your mind?"

"No…" Trowa tried to hide another yawn, "Not really."

Cathrine came over to him, dropping down onto the seat next to him. She took the empty cup of coffee from his hands and placed in on the table. "You're off today right?" she asked, Trowa could feel her eyes studying his face but he didn't look over just silently nodded. "Then why don't you lay down her for a while, take a nap," Cathrine leaned over him so he couldn't help but look at her.

Trowa let a ghost of a smile touch his face, "I'll be alright," Cathrine's eyes sparkled as she smiled at him trying to see around his shock of hair to both his eyes behind.

"Haven't I taught you to listen to your older sister?" she punched him lightly in the shoulder trying to get a reaction out of him. She was always trying to get more than just the faint smiles and soft chuckles out of him, sometimes he wondered what she was looking for, this was just the way he was. But Cathrine's persistent cheerful nature did rub off on him sometimes, not in any real obvious way, though Cathrine must have noticed which was why she kept trying.

"Not when she's treating me like a two year-old," Trowa commented dryly.

Cathrine laughed at that, "Sometimes it's nice to be pampered," she took hold of his shoulders then, as though intending on laying him down herself. Trowa shook his head slowly unfolding his arms and gently removing Cathrine's from him. She pouted at that "You're no fun."

He offered her a more visible smile at that, but the expression left quickly when his cell phone suddenly rang. Reaching into his pocket Trowa flipped it open and brought it to his ear, as he watched Cathrine get up from the couch carrying his empty mug with her into the kitchen. "Barton," he answered into the phone assuming—with good reason—that it was one of the other pilots.

"Trowa, it's Wufei," the Chinese man spoke a second later, "Look I know it's your day off today, but could you come in, we need another person for Relena's meeting this afternoon."

"What happened to Duo?" Trowa asked running a hand down his face as he let his head drop back onto the back of the couch.

"He's taken Hilde to the hospital, they think she might be in labour."

"Ahh…" the former pilot breathed, remembering full well how Duo had been the first time around. By all accounts from nursing staff and other 'normal' people he had taken it surprisingly well, remaining calm and in control the whole time. To the pilots Duo had appeared freaked, scared out of his mind, but it had all passed quickly. With just one child Duo had become a pro, and had shared with them all a little of his joy. "Yeah I can come in," he sat forward suddenly glancing at his watch, "I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"Alright, we're in the common room," Wufei told him before shutting off his phone.

Trowa did the same slipping the small device back into his pocket before he forced himself to stand. Black spots flashed before his eyes but vanished just as quickly, and he took a moment to stretch his long lean body. Though his eyes had closed Trowa felt his sister's approach and knew her intent was to catch him while his guard was 'down'. Reacting on instinct Trowa grabbed his sister's arm—far gentler than he would have someone attacking him—and pulled her into a quick hug.

Cathrine squeezed him tightly, looking down at her Trowa knew she was smiling, "You can be so unpredictable at times," her pleasure was clear in her voice. "Will you be back in time for the show tonight? Will you be too tired to dodge my knives?" she asked suddenly.

It had taken quite a bit of convincing to have Cathrine's act changed, it had been a year or so after the war, that Trowa had really begun to feel the void in his life that adrenaline had filled during battle. During a practice run of their performance Trowa had moved suddenly into the daggers path before ducking to avoid it. He could still remember the surge of adrenaline that had coursed through him that night. Cathrine had been horrified, she had screamed at him to never do it again, she had nearly been in tears at the thought of hurting him. But it had been what Trowa was looking for, what he felt he needed in his life, a little excitement he was having trouble finding anywhere else.

She had been a hard one to convince, but Trowa had managed to prove that he could avoid injury while putting on an excellent show for the audience. Thinking back, Trowa felt that might have been one of the first moments they had bonded as brother and sister. Despite her reservations Cathrine had been able to understand him, to clearly see what he was searching for. And give it to him, if not a little bit reluctantly. They had surprised the rest of the circus group with their new performance, and had been a show stopper. Of course to make it safe for the audience Cathrine was still throwing at targets. Targets that Trowa just so happened to leap in front of and away from seconds before the dagger hit. At times Trowa was even required to catch the knives himself using wooden boards to stop their flight. The show was a great deal more high energy for Trowa, leaving him almost jittery feeling by the end.

"I'll be here," he said releasing his sister and making his way towards the door, he doubted they'd need him for too long, Relena's meetings didn't often go beyond ten, it was a policy of hers. She liked to get a decent sleep each night, and it made sense when you held such an important position.

"But will you be awake?" Cathrine's voice was worried.

Trowa looked down at her his lips touched by a smile, he knew no matter what he said or did she'd worry. She always did, after almost two years of performing this new show, Cathrine still felt the need to try and check him over, make sure he hadn't been nicked. "I'll be awake," he assured before walking out the door, she really did worry too much about him.

It took Trowa less than ten minutes to make it to the agency. It should have taken longer but he tended to drive with a lead foot when he was alone. Pulling into the parking lot Trowa left his car behind and strode up into the agency. He briefly considered heading to his apartment before meeting up with the others. If he was guarding Relena he'd need to change into his uniform. As he stepped into the elevator he decided he wanted to see if there had been any word from Duo yet. Their first child had been born very quickly it was likely the second would come the same.

Striding out into the empty hall Trowa walked passed Heero's door, wondering how his friend was doing right now. It had taken him a long time to start mentally thinking of Heero as his friend. It's what he wanted but didn't think he deserved. Heero had managed to convince him otherwise with time and persistence. Coming to a stop outside the common room Trowa punched in the code and walked in, finding himself greeted by Wufei and Relena, he nodded to them both taking a step towards them.

"How's Hilde doing?" he asked right off.

"Excellent!" Duo beamed coming up behind him, Trowa turned to look and saw the braided pilot standing in front of the door as though blocking anyone from exciting or leaving. Trowa's brow furrowed a little, had Duo ducked into the room just after him to block his exit?

Trowa's attention switched to Wufei and Relena then, more importantly Wufei who was watching him with a calm expression. "I lied," he admitted with an indifferent shrug, "I doubted you'd come if I told you there's an important matter we need to discuss."

"We always have something important to talk about," Trowa countered a little angrily, he didn't like being deceived by his friends, despite the fact he had done it to them on occasion and probably would again if the need should arise.

"Mainly Heero," Wufei said as though finishing his previous statement.

This was no surprise to Trowa, he had been expecting them to try something like this for some time. After all he was their friend, and from what they had seen he hadn't made an attempt to go in and see Heero. Relena rose from her seat on the couch. Trowa looked into her eyes, and saw sadness and regret, as she stepped towards him. "Trowa…" she reached out a hand hesitantly towards him, "I'm sorry…for what I said…" the former pilot shook his head, her words fresh in his mind if he allowed himself to think about them. But after being around Heero for over a month, spending his time talking and working with him, Trowa had been able to put her words behind him, to begin the slow process of forgiving himself.

"Don't worry about that," he told her in a gentle tone, he didn't want to actually think about it, what had taken him longer to deal with was looking at Relena not remembering her harsh words.

"I wish it were that easy…" she said with a forced smile.

Trowa glanced about, finding himself surrounded with no exit. Duo leaned against the door looking very comfortable but at the same time determined he wasn't about to move if Trowa asked him too. He sighed remembering his promise to Heero. Quatre had found out, but it was hard to keep such things from such an intuitive person. John had found out, but that had been for the best, Trowa really didn't want to be telling everyone about it, not unless he knew Heero was okay with it.

"How long are you going to avoid him?" Wufei asked suddenly.

"We've all spoken to him, more than once," Duo piped in then, "If he can forgive us he'll forgive you."

He wondered how long they had been planning this, "Why not just let me deal with this?" he asked in what he hoped didn't sound like an exhausted voice. He really hadn't been prepared to fend them off when he came in.

"But you're not dealing with it," Duo countered. This wasn't the first time Duo had tried to bring up Heero in a conversation and Trowa had been forced to sidestep quickly without rising eyebrows. "Hell even Sally's gone in to see him," Trowa understood without explanation how hard that must have been for her.

"Has Heero been asking for me?" he asked in tones that he knew were dry, and could be mistaken for hurt, he didn't like keeping up this charade but it was Heero's choice.

"He's said you'll come when you're ready," Wufei responded, "We're just wondering if that'll ever happen, you've been avoiding us nearly as much as Heero over this past month."

_Just easier that way_ Trowa thought to himself letting out a sigh. What was it going to take to get them to back off?

"I don't want to see you lose Heero as a friend over something I thoughtlessly said," _It_ _wasn't thoughtless_ Trowa kept that thought to himself knowing it would only inflame the situation. "I know Heero feels the same way," she looked up at him eyes filled with regret.

Trowa drew in a calming breath feeling totally cornered, everyone's eyes locked onto him waiting to see what he'd say, all of them were ready to countered anything he had to say in his defence. He couldn't blame them, he as much as the rest wanted to put this whole mess behind him, not that it could ever be that easy. Trowa was just coming to the decision that forcing his way past Duo was going to be his only option when the door behind the braided man opened revealing John standing behind.

The tension in the room seemed to vanish at the old doctor's appearance, as all eyes turned to him, and John just stood there staring. "Am I interrupting something?" he asked stepping into the room.

"Not at all," Trowa responded quickly, noting deeper lines than usual creased John's aged face, things with Heero must not have been going well.

A smile touched John's lips at that as his eyes swept the room taking in everyone present, it wouldn't take much for John to understand why everyone was here. "So what's brought all of you together?" he asked feigning ignorance.

"Nothing that can't wait," Trowa responded in a tired voice, as he turned towards the door.

To Trowa's surprise it was John who reached out to stop him, "Actually I need you here right now," the old doctor gently turned Trowa and walked deeper into the room.

"How's Heero?" Relena asked walking towards him.

"Stressed I'm sure," his smile faded at that, "Why don't you go see if you can relax him." Relena nodded and with one last concerned look Trowa's way she left the room behind. John watched her leave before he took a seat on the couch so he was facing everyone. Trowa studied his face curiously realising that after a moment that didn't seem to be good enough for the old doctor. "Come sit," he bade motioning towards the other seats.

Trowa sighed dropping himself down onto an empty armchair, happy at least to be sitting down. He watched the others, Wufei hadn't been that far from the couch to begin with so he just lowered himself down next to John. Duo on the other hand looked reluctant to leave his position by the door, but seeing as Trowa had really settled back, Duo finally did come, but sat more to the edge of his seat.

"Any progress?" Wufei asked after a second of silence, "Between Heero and Leon?"

It was John's turn to sigh, "No, he just can't seem to relax enough around her, I'm afraid this may end up doing more harm then good." He looked squarely Trowa's way, "Which is why I'm glad you're all here."

Trowa wondered silently what was coming from all this, would John break Heero's confidence by telling the others he had been in to see their injured friend?

Still looking directly at Trowa, "I think it's time we put aside what Heero might want, and do what is best for him."

Trowa felt the other two pilots looking his way now, there had been a not so subtle point to his words, more than enough to alert Duo and Wufei's senses. Still Trowa remained silently watching John, he wasn't planning on being the first to break Heero's confidence.

"I've been thinking a little about this," John began briefly glancing to the others as he leaned back on the couch, "And I was hoping you could work with him. I'd want Leon to remain, but you'd be better able to tell when he's actually in pain than she will. Besides that you've done it before."

_Results weren't perfect though…_ he thought to himself, but at the same time supposed with Leon overseeing everything he'd know where the mistakes were made and be able to avoid them.

In the face of Trowa's continued silence John spoke up for him explaining to Wufei and Duo, what they probably already understood but needed confirmation of. "Trowa's been working with Heero nearly every night for the last month. It's been Heero's secret."

"So you were the Gun Fairy," Duo said with a slight laugh. Trowa just shut his eyes at that, subtly shaking his head, he was never going to live that down.

"We were fairly sure it had to have been you, since none of us had brought Heero the gun, but when he claimed not to have seen you yet we just figured you had dropped it off," Wufei explained.

"So John, you were the only one who knew?" Duo asked then.

"Quatre knew," Trowa finally spoke up, not at all surprised at how well the two of them had taken this news, it was what they wanted to hear but had never expected.

"It would be hard to keep something like that from him," Wufei commented.

"Heero may not be happy about this, but if Leon instructed you would you be willing to devote more time towards working with him?" John asked eyes returning to Trowa's tired face, "Of course it would now be during the day, it's about time the boy gets on a natural sleep pattern."

Trowa nodded his head using that movement to stifle another yawn, he had been doing really well up until now, but sitting down it was harder to convince himself that he didn't need sleep. "When do you want to start?" he asked looking at John with what he hoped were alert eyes.

"You and Heero really both need a day at least before we start," John responded with a smile, "Why don't you go get some sleep."

He wasn't surprised John had noticed, he was an amazingly observant man, that much Trowa had learned from watching him interact with Heero.

"Before that," Duo cut in suddenly, "There's something I've been meaning to discuss with all of you. Heero found the video file."

Trowa glanced at Duo with an eyebrow raised "Video file?" he asked wondering what all he had actually missed while going to see Heero.

"It's a video made by the Inner Circle chronicling the creation of Heero's brand, unfortunately it doesn't give us any faces to work with." Duo explained as he shifted restlessly on the edge of his seat, leaning forward so his elbows rested on knees and fingers were locked together, "So we're still trying to expand the list of names Heero gave us."

Holding in a sigh Trowa forced himself to ask the next stupid sounding question, "What brand?"

"The Inner Circle brand every member with the phoenix, I discovered a while back that Heero had one on his shoulder blade," John answered, "He told Zechs later that he wasn't branded. I thought it would be best not to mention it to him, until he was better, but at the beginning of June, Duo found this video footage…"

"Ahh…" Trowa cut in nodding his head, now understanding what they were talking about.

"I've moved the file, and increased the security, but with so much free time on his hands he's bound to find it again," Duo spoke now to everyone in the room.

"And when he does find it?" Trowa asked, trying to imagine how he'd feel discovering such a thing on himself, that his friends had tried to hide from him. Still not knowing exactly what had led them to take this course Trowa wasn't about to judge, but he did want to be sure they knew what they were doing. "Do you think he'll be grateful that you kept it from him?"

"I felt at the time it was discovered it was best not to mention it to him, I still think it'll only cause problems," John answered sounding very sure of himself when he did. "I'll take the brunt of his aggression if that's what we're met with when he does find out."

"Besides, Heero shouldn't have all that much free time in the coming weeks," Wufei spoke as he moved to stand from the couch, "You have plans for today?" he asked Trowa.

The green eyed man ran a hand absently down his face, "Not particularly, why?"

"Go get some sleep," he said bluntly staring critically at Trowa's face, "You need it." It sounded to Trowa as though Wufei were trying to take on the role of his sister, if he had said no to her what were the chances he'd agree to what Wufei wanted?

"Are all of you always this stubborn?" John asked suddenly, looking rather amused as his eyes moved from face to face.

"Old habits…" Trowa answered softly, that's all it really was, so many habits from the war, so many ways of looking at life, and reacting to things. None of it was really necessary now, other than to be as John said, stubborn. Pushing himself up from the chair with minimal effort Trowa turned towards the door. There wasn't really anything else—in his mind—that needed to be said, so he merely gave a little wave and walked out, heading towards his apartment.

WMWMWMW

Heero's entire body felt leaded and ached from the work he had done with Leon that day, and his mind felt exhausted from having to deal with the woman. He felt strung out, a feeling that at any other time would have had him pacing or losing himself in something his mind found relaxing. Unable to do such a thing, Heero was left fuming. That was, until Relena had walked into his room. He was at all times amazed at the calming effect she had on him, and even more so at the void she left behind when she left. Heero couldn't remember a time before he had felt that being without her bothered him so much. But it did now, and that was a fact he was constantly having to struggle with.

Relena reclined on the bed beside him, her body pressed close to his as she fiddled with his laptop, searching through internet sites that she liked and showing him some interesting things she had found. Just being there near to him, seeming to know without him having to say anything, that that alone would be enough for him to relax. He watched her, content with a smile on his face, and tried to push aside the deluge of emotions and thoughts that were keeping him from truly relaxing. But his sudden 'need' for Relena was just something he couldn't push from his mind, such as times when he had really missed the comradely of the pilots back with Ash, he was left wondering when had he stopped being a loner, when had the presence of friends really started to matter to him? When had Relena managed to get such a hold over him?

Absently Heero's hand reached up to touch Relena's silky hair, and he wondered why he liked the feel of it so much. In response to his light touch Relena titled her head towards him giving better access to her long hair. They stayed like that for a time, Relena humming a song she liked while browsing an online store she often shopped from. Finally she stopped what she was doing and turned to look at him, "You're not uncomfortable are you?"

The question seemed out of the blue for Heero, but he responded nevertheless, "I'm alright." That brightened the smile on Relena's face, but she didn't turn back to the computer instead she shifted so she was laying on her side next to him, Heero moved his left arm so it was beneath her allowing his fingers to remain entwined in her hair.

Relena settled in resting her left hand lightly on his chest, her fingers absently playing with the folds of his shirt, "Do you need anything?" she asked looking deeply into his eyes.

Heero's first thought was _Not while you're here_ but that wasn't something he felt he could externalise, so instead he just looked back, and shook his head. Relena's smile grew as though she could read his thoughts and she leaned in slowly pressing her lips to his. His hand, still carefully tangled in her hair, pressed against her back, holding her where she was as he moved to deepen the kiss. He felt her hand slip inside his shirt gently stroking down his side, it was a light ghosting touch which caused him to shiver. They had managed to cross the barrier, break down that imposing wall that stood between them, Heero wasn't entirely sure when it had happened, or who had put more aside and struggled harder, but they were there.

Pulling back just enough to draw a breath of air Relena smiled down at him, "This isn't really restful is it?" she asked in a breathless voice. Settling down beside him Relena rested her head lightly on his shoulder removing her hand from within his shirt as she tilted her head to look up at him. "Do you remember Heero?"

He looked down at her his senses surrounded by her presence, "Remember what?"

"What changed us…" she answered vaguely, her eyes studying his face waiting for what he was sure should be recognition.

A bit of advice given to him by Duo floated out of the depths of Heero's mind as he looked back into Relena's eyes. 'About the only advice I can offer is to remember just about every little event, you'll never know which is really important to them until they ask about it later.' Heero didn't have to think for long to know what Relena had been vaguely referring to. His right hand moved from its resting place at his side and reached across his body for Relena's entwining their fingers together.

It was such a simple thing, and something he had done more than once before the time Relena had been referring to. But Heero himself had known there was something fundamentally different about this time from the others. He had led her through crowds on more than one occasion, helped her up or down from a shuttle, but those felt so impersonal in comparison.

Relena's smile widened at his silent response and her eyes turned towards their hands as her slender fingers tightened around his. It was clear to Heero Relena was considering this, and the slightly evil glint that entered her eyes he found a little unsettling. "Do you remember where?" she asked then looking back at his face.

Heero didn't hesitate to answer, "Copper Penny," it had been a small pub they had found while travelling through an unassuming North American city, on route home form a conference. Relena had liked the look of the city so much she had managed to convince Heero it was worth the time to wander around. In the evening they had ended up in a secluded corner of that small pub. They had not really been noticed at all during the day, but Heero still preferred the shadows. It had been while they were sitting in that pub that Heero had felt a subtle change come between them. Not understanding where they stood or what they actually were to each other Heero really didn't know how to continue.

Relena had been quietly talking to him as they lingered over their drinks, every so often she'd lean in close as though to whisper something private into his ear. She had worn a smile on her face that had been two things, both unsure and hopeful. She had been searching for something though he hadn't really been sure what. There had been an unusual tension between them for a little while now, he hadn't really been sure when it had started, but it was more pronounced now than it had ever been. Even now Heero wasn't sure what had driven his actions back then, but he had slowly reached for Relena's hand lacing their fingers together, the difference had been immediately obvious even if the reason for it hadn't been. Relena had only hesitated a moment that night before she had leaned in to whisper those quiet thoughts.

"I knew you'd never forget," she whispered, now settling a little more comfortable beside him her eyes closing as though she was considering going to sleep. That didn't seem like such a bad idea to Heero, he let his eyes fall closed feeling more comfortable than he had in a long time.

Thanks for Reading!

**A Change for the Better**:

John smiled at the expression he saw on Heero's face once Trowa had them both in the pool, it had to have been the first time he saw the boy look truly happy. It was different from the times he had spent with Relena, John was watching as Heero got a little of his freedom back. He was sure Heero knew it wasn't going to last, as soon as he got out of the water, he'd be reliant on others again, but for the moment maybe he could allow himself to forget that and think of something else. John eased himself down onto a bench and watched as Trowa quietly spoke to Heero adjusting his hold on the boy and getting the exercise underway.

Heero's movements were a little jerky to begin with but soon he was swimming on the spot with Trowa holding him in place. John could see that Heero's skin was pebbled with Goosebumps from the cool water, and his lips were beginning to turn a faint hint of blue, but he knew the boy wasn't about to complain about being cold. His eyes were drawn to the brand on Heero's back, it was like black on white against his skin, impossible to overlook, and there was no hope it would ever fade. The Inner Circle had spent too much time perfecting it. John felt sick just looking at it, knowing what had been done to make it look so crisp and sharp, despite that—perhaps even because of that—he still felt it was the best thing not to bring it to Heero's attention.

Blinking John returned his attention to what was happening in front of him Heero was once more standing in the water but leaning a little more heavily on Trowa's arm. Trowa asked the boy something quietly and Heero shook his head in response, John suspected Trowa was wanting to stop now, this was enough for one day. It was no surprise for John that Heero wasn't ready to leave the pool just yet. Trowa's eyes sought John out, a questioning expression on his face, the old doctor just nodded his head, he didn't see any harm in Heero working a little longer.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	47. A Change for the Better

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Sorry this isn't a double chapter, but it was bound to happen sometime and as chapters go I feel this one isn't so bad. Looking ahead I see that the next chapter is rather short, and so I'd like to make it a double chapter so there might be a bit of a wait, I just wanted to let all of you know in advance.

**Mini Nicka**: Thanks so much! I hope you enjoy this chapter too.

**Kirbus**: Thank you (smiles) I hope you continue to enjoy!

**D3**: Thanks for the review! Not specifically I don't think, some of what neekabe wrote has yet to come up in the story. Oddly enough it should have happened a long time ago but I had to rearrange certain events as I was going.

**L.A.UNE**: Thank you! I'm sorry I couldn't give you another double.

**IchikoKitsuneKoumori**: She tends to be like that (laughs) Thanks for the review!

**Theevilashleyness**: Thanks for the review! I had no idea, I've tried to keep all my chapters around the same length, I believe the average is 8 pages. But I'm glad you liked the last two, I hope you enjoy this one as well.

**Raizard333**: You're right, about Leon referring to Relena it was something I hadn't even considered when I was writing the scene. As for grammar mistakes there isn't much I can do about that, I have two editors and they do the best job they can with what I give them. I actually have a cousin named Lauren and one of my uncles did call her Leon for a little while I liked the sound of it but I don't think it actually stuck. Trowa's never going to live down that Gun Fairy comment (laughs) Thanks so much!

**Midnight's Falling Star**: (laughs) I don't blame you for skipping the first chapter I've often said to my family that if I stumbled upon this story on the internet I'd never read it because the first chapter would bore me to tears (laughs). Yeah it's all pretty complicated I do hope you continue to enjoy the story in whatever order you read it in (smiles) My sister in-law just suggested someone writing Coles notes for this story, Thanks for the review!

**coldsunshin**: Thanks so much! Sorry the chapter wasn't up ASAP, hope you enjoy!

**Auza-Isaka-Winner**: Thanks so much! (smiles) I hope all of you continue to enjoy this story!

**Briar Noir**: Thanks so much! I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter up, and don't worry (laughs) we're a long way from ending!

**Sofi**: Thank you so much! I share the same pet peeve, but it amazes me just how many authors don't seem to care. A continuations of the series? I take that as the highest complement thank you very much! I hope you continue to enjoy! Thanks again!

**ghostreader**: Thanks for the review. That was a hard scene to write but I really enjoyed it, I don't actually think Heero's being a Gundam pilot will come up, hope you enjoy!

**Capricorn89**: Thanks so much!

**Morrighan of Crimson and Sable**: It's odd but in the original version of this story there was a lot more romance scenes but the problem was I realised that Heero wasn't in character and keeping him there cut back on the 1xR moments, but there are more to come I promise you that! Thanks so much for the review!

**Wufei-the-back-side-slayer**: Thanks so much! When I was originally hand writing the story I came to some major problems when I was trying to get Heero back on his feet. Nothing I did was getting him any closer to working with Leon, so I did the first thing that came to mind and brought Trowa in (smiles) and it worked! Thanks again!

**lina fire**: Thanks so much! I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing

**A Change for the Better**

John dropped his head down onto his upturned palm as he continued to read over Leon's report on Heero's condition and the little progress he had made sense she had started working with him. John only wished some progress had been made with Heero's attitude as it had only deteriorated as the days went on. Heero worked with Leon grudgingly if only because he wanted to be back on his feet above anything. But John could clearly see how much this was stressing the boy out. He wasn't relaxing after Leon left, unless Relena was in the room with him. He had been really pleased to see the two of them together, far closer than they had been when she had first entered the scene. They looked like a couple, albeit an unusual one.

It had been three days since John had stumbled on Wufei and Duo interrogating Trowa, it had been enough time for the former pilot to catch up on his missed sleep, and for John to be totally sure he was making the right choice. All that was left was to explain the change to Leon and make sure things sat well with her. In that respect John was already preparing himself for a fight, considering how she had taken the news that someone had been working with Heero before she had been brought in, she definitely wouldn't be pleased.

As if on cue Leon walked through the door "Good morning," he greeted placing the folder aside and glancing towards the clock. It was nearing on nine o'clock in the morning, Leon always liked to start early with her patients, she was able to get a lot done in the day that way.

"Morning," she returned eyes catching sight of the folder he had been looking through, "He's stubborn as hell, but at least he's making improvements."

John chuckled softly, "I warned you didn't I?" he asked with a fatherly smile, he felt very much like Heero was his troubled son.

Leon placed her hand palm down on the table bringing herself a little closer to eye level, "You did, and you've never been one to exaggerate but you can't blame me for finding it all hard to believe."

"No, I guess not…" he agreed with a shake of his head, Leon jumped a little as the door opened again this time Trowa walked through it. The young man looked a lot better than he had a few days back, the dark bags under his eyes were all but gone, and he no longer seemed on the verge of yawning.

"Good morning," John smiled finally coming to his feet, having a feeling of what was about to happen would require a firmer stand. "Leon I'm sure you know Trowa Barton," he introduced stepping around the table he had been sitting behind, "He's worked with Heero before during the war."

"It's a pleasure," Leon extended her hand, Trowa quietly accepted the gesture eyes looking to John, clearly wondering what was to happen next.

John cleared his throat trying to gather his thoughts, "Leon, I think it's about time a few adjustments were made in regards to Heero's treatment."

"I thought you were done laying down ground rules," Leon came back instantly sounding defensive.

"The problem is, he's not trusting you, he can't relax so long as you're in the room, in the end that's going to cause problems," he sighed no matter how he put this it wouldn't go over well, "Problems that could be avoided."

"Avoided how?" she asked though her eyes glanced to Trowa it wouldn't take much for her to realize he had something to do with the change.

"As I said Trowa's worked with Heero before, the boy trusts him enough to make all this a lot easier. I'd like for you to instruct Trowa on how to proceed, and remain to evaluate Heero's progress as time goes on."

Leon was shaking her head, "And just what sort of experience does he have?" she demanded.

"He got Heero back on his feet after a month of being comatose, with severe injuries," John still felt amazed that Trowa had managed that feat considering the circumstances that he was working under.

"Let me guess, that was when Heero's shoulder was injured," she made it a statement of fact.

"That's right," Trowa responded for John, his tone almost always seeming to ask 'what of it?'

"He's lost movement in the joint, it's something he'll never get back," she spun on John, "Don't tell me you'll risk having that happen again!"

"Leon, I asked you to supervise, but I still think this will be best for Heero."

"You called me in because you don't know the first thing about physical therapy, and now, you want to let a bodyguard take over? Can you tell me where the sense in that is?" she demanded rather loudly.

John sighed quietly, "Leon, I know you know sometime you have to improvise, you may not like the thought of someone else being able to do your job, but Trowa got Heero where he was when you came in. That has to count for something…" he pulled a hand through his hair finding this to be going exactly how he expected it would. "But no matter what I'm committed to doing what is best for Heero," John said firmly.

"What if what you're doing ends up being worse for him?" Leon returned immediately, "What if he ends up crippled?"

"He won't," Trowa told her quickly.

"There's no way you can be sure of that!"

"I can," he responded again just as calmly, "Heero's injuries are healed, that's more than half the battle. Had there been proper medical treatment back during the war Heero wouldn't have lost the movement in his shoulder."

"How can you be so sure?" she asked right back.

The old doctor decided to intervene then, "Leon I've made my decision, I knew you wouldn't be happy with it, but I feel it's what has to be done in order to help Heero. I still want you here, for now to supervise and instruct, later I'd like you to perform evaluations of Heero progress."

"Won't that bother your precious patient?" she said in dry tones.

"He'll deal, I never said I wanted you out Leon, just a little bit more into the background." He took a pointed step towards the door, "We're not getting anywhere standing here arguing, lets at least try this out."

That didn't lighten the tension filling the room at all, "And what if I want to pull out?" she asked remaining where she stood.

"You and I both know you're too stubborn for that," John said, having to fight a smile wanting to touch his lips.

Leon's eyes flickered darkly to Trowa whose expression had remained impassive all this time, "You're just lucky I am."

"Well then, shall we?" he asked reaching out to open the door.

WMWMWMW

Trowa's eyes opened as his mind made the transition from sleep to wakefulness almost instantaneously, his emerald eyes looking towards the digital clock on his nightstand. It was seven a.m. on July 15. Today would make it one week sense he had started working with Heero, Leon was a little more receptive to the idea. There was no denying the fact Heero was more comfortable working with him, she had been in every day Trowa had worked with Heero so far, today would be the first time Trowa worked alone. Well not technically alone, John was always there, but that didn't seem to bother Heero at all.

Pushing himself up off the mattress Trowa walked slowly towards his bathroom, the muscles in his arms and legs feeling a little sore from the show the night before. He rolled his shoulders enjoying the pull and feel of every muscle, he liked his performances with Cathrine, but also performing alone. He had been doing such shows for less time than his new show with Cathrine, he couldn't remember who had suggested such a thing, but it had sounded like an interesting challenge to Trowa. It had started out simply enough, mostly a floor show with a little work on the trapeze, but had quickly become more complicated as more people volunteered to be a part of it all. Trowa had somehow remained at the center of it all, the only one truly willing to throw himself into the show without needing safety nets beneath him.

Stepping up to the sink Trowa splashed cold water on his lean face studying his reflection in the mirror without much interest. It was still too early to start working with Heero, he wondered even if his friend would be awake yet. He had been sleeping at more natural times of late, but he was still really exhausted from the work he was going through. Trowa had something a little different planned for today that he hoped would go over well, whether it did or didn't really wouldn't matter as Trowa knew it would do the most good for Heero. He wanted to work with Heero in a small pool that the pilots all had access to in their personal gym. It was all a part of their private wing of the agency so there was no fear on the wrong people catching sight of Heero.

Back in his bedroom Trowa heard the muffled beeping of his cell phone, and he strode out to retrieve it from his pants pocket, he flipped it open and spoke into it, while his free hand pulled down his face brushing the last few drops of water from his features.

"Good morning Trowa," Cathrine's voice greeted his ears, it sounded disturbingly cheerful, and caused the hairs on the back of his neck to rise in warning.

"Morning," he responded back in his usual quiet smooth voice.

"You left early last night…" she commented her voice remaining creepily upbeat.

Trowa moved to his dresser searching for a pair of jeans to wear, "You think so?" he pulled the jeans on holding the phone to his ear with his shoulder. "I've been leaving around that time for the last few nights," Trowa said running his fingers through his slightly damp hair, he knew that wasn't going to be good enough with Cathrine.

"You didn't come say goodbye to me," she retorted.

"As I recall you were occupied with someone at the end of the show," he replied calmly, dropping down onto the edge of his bed.

"Hmph, awfully convenient that I was," her voice had lost the cheerful edge now, "Did you send him over?"

"No…" Trowa responded, "I thought he might be a new boyfriend…can't say I really liked the look of him…"

"Quit trying to change the subject!" she almost snarled, "Why'd you do it?"

It was such an opened ended question Trowa would not have known what his sister was talking about had he not expected this call since he ducked out of the circus the night before. "There really wasn't any risk," he defended knowing it would get him nowhere.

"No risk?" she scoffed, "You dropped ten feet to land on the back of a green horse, a spooked horse I might add, I can think of a lot of risks in that," if Trowa didn't know any better he would have bet money Cathrine was wagging her finger in front of her.

The new horse had been spooked off stage by a loud noise and bolted into the ring, causing it to become more frightened and disoriented. Trowa had feared it might try and bolt into the crowed if it could mean a way of escape, so he had done the first thing that came to mind. It had appeared to be a new aspect of the show, or so he had been told afterwards, "Animals like me," he said quietly, having a feeling such performances would be repeated.

"That's not reason enough to jump into every lion's pit that come up to you."

"Would you have rather I let the animal run wild? Maybe injure some spectators?" he asked calmly.

"Of course not!" she sounded as though the wind had been taken out of her sales. "I just wish you weren't so eager to throw yourself into harms way, it's really unnerving…"

"Old habits…" such things never looked like a risk to him.

"Could you at least try to not have so many?" she asked and he could hear the humour in her voice, more natural now than it had been at the beginning. "So will you be able to come here for dinner tonight?" Cathrine totally switched gears.

Trowa rubbed at his eyes, "I should be able to, there's a rehearsal tonight, what are you making?"

"I was thinking of lasagne, unless there was something you wanted more?" Cathrine had gone out of her way to try and find foods he particularly liked, and had quickly become frustrated when he would eat anything. During the war there wasn't time to be picky; you ate what was available to get you through the next day, or however long it would be until…

"Been a while since I had liver…" he said softly, Cathrine made a very nice lasagne, but he sometimes found it hard to perform after eating something that spicy.

"Liver and onions it is," she confirmed sounding as though she were rubbing her hands together. "So what are your plans for today?" she asked then keeping the conversation light.

"I have some errands I have to run, nothing real important," Cathrine knew a little about what was actually going on, he hadn't bothered with the specifics and frankly his sister hadn't asked. She knew enough that it wasn't a conversation to have over the phone.

"Alright, I'll leave you to that. Can you be here for six?"

"I'll call you if I'm going to be late," he confirmed before he said goodbye.

Trowa slipped the cell phone into his pocket as he got to his feet in search of a shirt he could just shrug into. Finding such a shirt, Trowa walked out of his bed room. He by passed his kitchen, not really wanting to eat anything until he was done with Heero. He didn't expect they'd be at it for a long time, this was going to be the most exercise his entire body will have received in a long time, Trowa doubted Heero would be able to swim for too long. Slipping on a pair of shoes before leaving his apartment, Trowa walked slowly down the hall towards Heero's room. He felt sure that by now Heero would have woken up.

At the end of the hall the elevator opened and John stepped out, looking refreshed and ready for another day. His eyes found Trowa and a smile broke out on his face, "You're up awfully early for someone up so late…" he said as he closed the distance between them, they stopped to face each other just outside of Heero's room.

Trowa rubbed at the back of his neck finding a knot in the muscle there, "Not really…" he thought about it for a moment, he had got close to four hours of sleep, it was enough he'd be able to function. "Never really needed a lot of sleep," he explained wondering what was actually on John's mind.

"Fair enough," John nodded his lips still twitching with a smile, "But do you think tomorrow you could try and not get yourself killed?"

An eyebrow shot up on Trowa's face, "What?" he asked in confusion.

John eyed him for a moment as though considering before he opened his mouth to speak again, "Think about it, if you got hurt who would work with Heero?" The old doctor folded his arms across his chest, "Although I suppose Wufei could if it came down to that…"

Trowa was certain the expression on his face was pure confusion, what had brought this on? Something occurred to him then, one that he thought unlikely but at the same time seemed to be the only explanation. "Were you at the circus last night?" Trowa questioned.

"No," John smiled his expression somewhat mischievous, "I take it you haven't had the news on yet this morning…"

Failing to repress a sigh, Trowa shook his head, "You're kidding…" he already knew John wasn't, how else would he have known what happened.

"Someone in the audience recorded it all," John chuckled softly, "That was quite the performance."

Trowa just continued to shake his head, he had never made it a secret that he performed at the circus in his off time. It had raised more than one eyebrow in the beginning, but was now an accepted fact. This incident was going to draw unnecessary attention towards it, knowing this wouldn't have stopped Trowa from leaping onto that horse, in time it would all blow over.

"I think I should come and see the show sometime, I'm sure my grandchildren would love it," John smiled breaking the silence.

"We'll arrange a day. I can show them around," Trowa offered. He really enjoyed watching the spellbound faces of the children as they saw everything behind the scenes. He didn't know why he felt comfortable around children, but it was somehow relaxing for him as he entertained them, every laugh and gasp of surprise drew him further away from the life he had once led.

John's eyes flickered over to Heero's door, "Are you wanting to bring him down right now?"

"If you think he'd be awake and ready," Trowa shrugged, they had all day to do this, he doubted once they got started that Heero would have the energy to swim for very long.

"Why don't you go in and see, and I'll get a wheelchair for him," the old doctor turned away then as Trowa made his way over to Heero's door.

Knocking on the hard metal Trowa punched in the code and walked in. It was a pleasant surprise to see Heero sitting up in bed, his right arm propped behind him, holding himself in place, judging by the slight tremble in the limb Trowa guessed his friend had been like that for some time. Ever since they had secured the rubber bound metal bar above his bed Heero had been hoisting himself up, slowly rebuilding the muscles in his arms. Heero's cobalt eyes flashed over Trowa's face, and the former pilot thought it might have seen excitement in those depthless eyes.

"Leon won't be coming in today," Trowa informed right off, knowing that would improve Heero's mood even more so. In the end this was what John thought would be best, Trowa had spent some time talking with the therapist getting a feel for how she did her job and what Heero needed. He knew she'd be coming in a couple of days to check on Heero's progress and lend further instruction to Trowa's work. As expected some of the tension between Heero's shoulders lifted at that as he relaxed, and eased himself back down onto the mattress. Trowa walked over to the bed taking a seat on its edge, "You up for something different?" he asked calmly already knowing the answer.

That excitement returned to Heero's eyes, Trowa realised it wasn't truly excitement at all it was a little of the life that he remember seeing in those eyes when Heero was active, doing what he loved. It was a little of the man they had known three years before, _He's getting there…_ Trowa assured himself.

"What did you have in mind?" the Japanese man asked, just as John knocked upon the door. Trowa turned to follow Heero's gaze as the old doctor walked into the room pushing the wheelchair before him. The former pilot's attention quickly swung back to Heero as he felt his friend stiffen up, "My legs work," he said, tone unimpressed as his knees drew off the bed as if in proof of his words.

"But they aren't ready to hold you up yet," Trowa countered quickly.

"It's just for transportation," John assured, though Heero still looked less than thrilled.

"If you'd like I could always carry you…" Trowa offered, knowing the answer he'd receive, Heero glared darkly at him, signifying what he thought of such a suggestion. "Leon agrees that hydrotherapy could bring the best results in the shortest time," 'shortest time' wasn't saying very much, it would still be a while before Heero was back on his feet. Trowa tossed the blankest back away from Heero's body and reached down to lift his friend up. Despite preparing himself mentally Trowa was still surprised by how light Heero actually was, he didn't dwell upon it however but moved quickly to situate Heero in the waiting wheelchair.

"I never thought to ask before now, but will it be a problem getting to the pool?" John inquired as he pushed the chair out into the hall, "Don't we need to secure the halls?"

"It's not an issue," Trowa assured walking along side Heero, his emerald eyes watching his friend closely without appearing too. "There isn't just this floor of the agency that's strictly for our use, but the entire wing. A few floors down there's a gym and small pool, put in for our use." Une had thought it the least she could do, it made things simpler for them, Wufei had his own training room where he displayed an abundance of swords and other weaponry, something he wouldn't be able to do in a more public area. The pool itself wasn't very large, wide enough across that two people could swim side by side without running into each other. But while it was short, the pool ran a current so you could swim against it, making it work as well as, if not a little better than a full sized pool.

They all walked into the elevator and Trowa selected the desired floor, his eyes still studying Heero, who hadn't said a word since they left his room. He sat in the wheelchair hardly moving, but Trowa could see a slight movement to his head as he looked around himself, there wasn't much for him to see right now, but this was the first time he had been out of his room. It only took them a moment to make it down to the floor, and Trowa led the way down the hall, wanting to get there quickly knowing Heero would relax once he was in the water. Trowa held the door to the gym open for Heero and John, the room was large and open housing most pieces of equipment you'd find in a normal gym. The pool was sectioned off from the main room by a glass wall, where their lockers were also housed.

Briefly Trowa debated whether he should help Heero get changed or leave that to John and change himself. He quickly settled on the latter, not wanting to leave Heero sitting and waiting any longer than he had to. Walking over to the lockers, he opened the first one he came to and pulled out a pair of swim trunks. They were Heero's from three years back; they'd be large on him but the draw strings would keep them on. Handing them to John without a word, Trowa looked at Heero's face, seeing determination in his eyes, at the same time there was a relaxed expression on his face even now. This was new for him but at the same time a familiar step in the right direction, something definitely worth putting up with.

Trowa walked a little further down the row of lockers to the one that held his stuff, and quickly began stripping off his clothes to get changed. He was done before Heero, but took a couple of moments to adjust the pools settings turning off the current, he didn't want to have Heero fighting against that right off. When he turned around he found Heero ready to go, Trowa's eyes swept over Heero's thin body, noting the new scars that marred his flesh. They all had them, but Trowa thought it was safe to say Heero carried the most. It was amazing to see them all and know that Heero was still alive, there was hardly a patch of skin that was untouched. Shaking his head Trowa came to a stop right in front of his friend, "You ready?" he asked.

Heero nodded his head mutely, and without anther word Trowa lifted the smaller man into his arms. Together they walked into the pool Trowa taking his time so as not to slip. The water came up to his mid chest once he had his feet firmly planted on the floor, and he slowly lowered Heero into the water allowing him to stand on his own two feet for the first time in months. Trowa kept a hand around Heero's chest just to steady him, but pulled back a little so Heero could feel as though he were doing this by himself. Heero shifted a little in the water hesitating to take a step, but a smile touched his face as he continued to stand.

WMWMWMW

John smiled at the expression he saw on Heero's face once Trowa had them both in the pool, it had to have been the first time he saw the boy look truly happy. It was different from the times he had spent with Relena, John was watching as Heero got a little of his freedom back. He was sure Heero knew it wasn't going to last, as soon as he got out of the water, he'd be reliant on others again, but for the moment maybe he could allow himself to forget that and think of something else. John eased himself down onto a bench and watched as Trowa quietly spoke to Heero adjusting his hold on the boy and getting the exercise underway.

Heero's movements were a little jerky to begin with but soon he was swimming on the spot with Trowa holding him in place. John could see that Heero's skin was pebbled with Goosebumps from the cool water, and his lips were beginning to turn a faint hint of blue, but he knew the boy wasn't about to complain about being cold. His eyes were drawn to the brand on Heero's back, it was like black on white against his skin, impossible to overlook, and there was no hope it would ever fade. The Inner Circle had spent too much time perfecting it. John felt sick just looking at it, knowing what had been done to make it look so crisp and sharp, despite that—perhaps even because of that—he still felt it was the best thing not to bring it to Heero's attention.

Blinking John returned his attention to what was happening in front of him Heero was once more standing in the water but leaning a little more heavily on Trowa's arm. Trowa asked the boy something quietly and Heero shook his head in response, John suspected Trowa was wanting to stop now, this was enough for one day. It was no surprise for John that Heero wasn't ready to leave the pool just yet. Trowa's eyes sought John out, a questioning expression on his face, the old doctor just nodded his head, he didn't see any harm in Heero working a little longer.

Trowa allowed Heero to begin swimming once more, but it didn't last long, Heero's endurance had been brought to its limit and his breathing became suddenly ragged as he tried to keep going. Without a word Trowa scooped Heero out of the water and walked back towards the steps the Japanese boy looked less than pleased at this, but was too busy trying to control his gasping breaths to complain. "That was good for you first time," John commented coming over to the stares with a towel in hand.

"We'll do this again," Trowa assured clearly having been pleased with the results this first time around. He gently sat Heero down in the wheelchair and took the towel from John's hands, the old doctor took a step back allowing Trowa to help Heero.

The boy's limbs trembled from the exertion his body had been put through, but he still tried to dry himself. John watched on amazed at how Trowa handled Heero, he was there in front of the boy hands moving the towel to dry Heero's skin, but somehow he managed to do it in a way that only assisted Heero's movements didn't take over for them. John gathered up Heero's cloths which had been left on the bench in front of the lockers and handed the pants to Trowa once he was ready to help Heero slip them on.

John grew a little concerned as Heero began to look more out of it, his movements were becoming less responsive to Trowa's and his head was drooping eyes falling almost completely closed. He was fairly sure it was merely that he was tired, but he needed to be sure, crouching down beside the wheelchair John called to the boy softly. "Heero, are you alright? How are you feeling?" he hoped the boy would choose to give him a response even if it was just to raise his head and look at him.

Heero gave him one better than that, "Yeah…" he breathed blinking several times as he raised his head, he looked totally drained. It must have frustrated him to be left so weak after so little exercise but it would all be worth it, and John was sure Heero was reminding himself of that.

"Why don't you bring him back to his room, I'm going to take a shower down here, then I'll be up," Trowa offered stepping back from Heero.

"Alright," John nodded walking behind the wheelchair to take hold of the guide handles. He turned Heero around without a word and slowly made his way back out into the hallway where he could still smell the scent of chlorine off Heero's skin and slightly damp hair. John strode down the hall towards the elevator watching as Heero's head began to lull, the old doctor smiled to himself and walked a little faster he wanted to get Heero back into his bed so he could sleep.

John reached Heero's room quickly enough, once inside he brought the wheelchair up beside the bed and leaned down close to Heero, "Hey, you still with me?" he asked softly wanting to have Heero's attention before he just picked him up.

The boy brought his head up with some effort, "Yeah…" he said again.

Reaching behind Heero's back and beneath his knees John lifted the boy into his arms and placed him on the bed. He noticed that Heero was shivering subtly, and probably had been since he left the pool. He made a mental note to bring a blanket to cover the boy with next time. Covering Heero, John moved around the bed and took a seat in the chair; he wanted to keep a closer eye on him after this first experience.

Thanks for Reading!

**Quiet Conversations**:

"Have you spoken to Heero recently?" Dante asked suddenly.

Ash shook his head, "He's been busy with the therapy, though I'm supposed to be speaking with him tonight." He was looking forward to that, he liked to know how things were going with Heero, though he knew not to expect open information about what had been happening. It was a difficult process for Ash, he had to question prod and hold his breath waiting for Heero to snap a little and pass on some information, then with that he could dig a little deeper. In the end however Heero only let him go so far, but it was enough, Ash had to guess at a few things but at least he managed to get the gist of what was happening.

Dante leaned back in his chair, relaxing his posture, "That's good to hear, how's he coming along?"

"Better now that Trowa's working with him, but he's still frustrated by it all, more so on days when Leon has to come in," Ash wished he could be there to help his friend, but he didn't know the first this about physical therapy, and would only be in the way.

"Hmmm…" Dante nodded his head, "Do you know what happens two weeks from now?" he asked with an inquisitive light in his eyes.

"August 19th?" Ash asked back, thinking about it but nothing was coming to mind for him.

"It's the Sank Kingdom's birthday," Dante informed a smile widening on his face, "I thought it would be appropriate to attend the festivities, considering President Winner is planning on being there."

Ash smiled at that, though his face sobered for a moment as a sigh escaped him, "It's hard being a diplomat," he joked suddenly very excited, he would be able to see Heero sooner than he had thought possible. He wondered briefly if he would tell Heero tonight about his coming, or leave it for a surprise. But Ash quickly decided to see what Heero's mood was like tonight, if it was dark enough, perhaps news of Ash's coming could help in lifting it.

"I thought it was about time we returned to earth," Dante commented turning his chair slightly, his eyes turning up towards the ceiling.

"All that was missing before was the excuse?" Ash already knew the answer to that question, they didn't want to raise any eyebrows. "Does Une know yet?" he asked then, a sly smile on his face.

Dante's eyes returned to him, "Not yet, but I doubt I'd be able to keep it from her if I wanted too, what with the news media hounding whatever I do."

Morganeth Taren'drel


	48. Quiet Conversations

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Sorry about the delay, I again have two chapters for you I hope you'll enjoy them!

To my editors, **morgansgirl **and **Pious Knight**! Thank you both so much!

**lina fire**: Thanks so much! I hope you enjoy these next two!

**coldsunshin**: Thank you! I'm sorry it took so long this time as well but a double chapter I hope will make up for it!

**Morrighan of Crimson and Sable**: It took a long time but he's now getting there! Thanks for the review!

**L.A.UNE**: Way back when, I think it had just been a joking idea between neekabe and myself about them getting together. But as I started typing it just seemed like the right thing to so since unfortunately Treize is dead. I hope you'll enjoy these chapters, thanks for the review!

**D3**: Thank you! I hope you enjoy these as well!

**kirbus**: (laughs) I got such a kick out of your review! It totally made my day! Thank you so much!

**anon**: I'm pretty sure both were awake, I just give them a lot of work! Thanks for reviewing.

**IchikoKitsuneKoumori**: He's coming along! Thanks for the review!

**Raizard333**: Thank you! Sorry it took so long! Thanks for reviewing!

**jellybeanxx**: I know I try my hardest to avoid the long breaks between chapters but they just keep happening. I did have a good Christmas and new years….though it never really felt like Christmas, most people I talked to agreed about that too. Thank you for the review!

**ghostreader**: Thank you! I hope you enjoy these two chapter I'll try to have more out soon!

**rayshine**: I'm sorry I made you wallow in suspense now! I came very close to whitewashing it, but there was so much character development that every time I tried to look for something I could possibly cut out to speed things along I couldn't find anything. I hope you'll continue to enjoy the story! Thanks so much for the review!

**ElectricGreen**: Welcome aboard! I went back and read over the section you mentioned and I think I can see a few places where it was a little confusing who I was following (smiles). I look forward to your next review! And I hope you continue to enjoy the story as you go along! 'the electric green as got me by the brain……..apple? celery? pepper? broccoli?' Hmmmm I'll come up with something (laughs) Thanks for the review!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gundam Wing

**Quiet Conversations**

Ash rose from his chair on the far side of Dante's office, and with a true politician's smile guided the diplomat out of the office. It seemed like from the moment they had returned to Freedom's Point there had been inundated by delegates from near every colony, under Quatre's care. Dante had wanted him present—in the background—for all of them, though it was a mystery to Ash why that was. Perhaps it was Dante's attempt to keep his mind off of Heero. Ash wanted nothing more than to be back on earth watching over his friend, but he easily understood why that wasn't possible right now. Ash turned away from the door after closing it, and walked over to Dante's desk dropping down into the plush chair the delegate had just left.

He noted his friend's eyes were studying him intently, "You're good a reading people," Dante said out of the blue, "That's why I want you at all these meetings," he explained then.

Ash's eyebrows raised, "You're not so bad yourself," he said with a laugh, having not realised his thoughts had been playing out on his face.

"I just know you too well," Dante chuckled himself, but it was true, Ash had always been good at reading people. Though Heero tended to be a particular challenge, after him however most other people were easy like an open book. They had been met with mostly pleasantries so far, a few had been wary of them, and one or two had entered the room with hostilities. Though Dante was a smooth speaker and could win over most everyone, these men, whether won over or not wouldn't dare speak out against them. Not when Freedom's Point had gained the acceptance and understanding of their President.

"Have you spoken to Heero recently?" Dante asked suddenly.

Ash shook his head, "He's been busy with the therapy, though I'm supposed to be speaking with him tonight." He was looking forward to that, he liked to know how things were going with Heero, though he knew not to expect open information about what had been happening. It was a difficult process for Ash, he had to question, prod and hold his breath waiting for Heero to snap a little and pass on some information, then with that he could dig a little deeper. In the end however Heero only let him go so far, but it was enough. Ash had to guess at a few things but at least he managed to get the gist of what was happening.

Dante leaned back in his chair, relaxing his posture, "That's good to hear, how's he coming along?"

"Better now that Trowa's working with him, but he's still frustrated by it all, more so on days when Leon has to come in," Ash wished he could be there to help his friend, but he didn't know the first thing about physical therapy, and would only be in the way.

"Hmmm…" Dante nodded his head, "Do you know what happens two weeks from now?" he asked with an inquisitive light in his eyes.

"August 19th?" Ash asked back, thinking about it but nothing was coming to mind for him.

"It's the Sank Kingdom's birthday," Dante informed a smile widening on his face, "I thought it would be appropriate to attend the festivities, considering President Winner is planning on being there."

Ash smiled at that, though his face sobered for a moment as a sigh escaped him, "It's hard being a diplomat," he joked suddenly very excited, he would be able to see Heero sooner than possible. He wondered briefly if he would tell Heero tonight about his coming, or leave it for a surprise. But Ash quickly decided to see what Heero's mood was like tonight, if it was dark enough, perhaps news of Ash's coming could help in lifting it.

"I thought it was about time we returned to Earth," Dante commented turning his chair slightly, his eyes turning up towards the ceiling.

"All that was missing before was the excuse?" Ash already knew the answer to that question, they didn't want to raise any eyebrows. "Does Une know yet?" he asked then, a sly smile on his face.

Dante's eyes returned to him, "Not yet, but I doubt I'd be able to keep it from her if I wanted too, what with the news media hounding whatever I do."

"Speaking of which, won't they be expecting you out there soon?" Dante rarely allowed the media within his office, especially when he was trying to have a quiet conversation with one of these diplomats. They had made a base camp outside Dante's office waiting for anyone coming out who might have something to say. Dante had always allowed his guest to speak first before he'd enter the spotlight and offer his thoughts on relations between Freedom's Point and the other colonies.

"Probably…" Dante commented with little interest, but suddenly sat forward resting his arms on the desk. "You know they'd really like to meet you Ash," he said with a mischievous grin.

Ash chuckled at that shaking his head, "I find that hard to believe…" it was all just a game, this bantering back and forth. Ash knew exactly why the press would want to meet him, it was because they couldn't that they wanted it all the more.

"There are so many rumours floating around, no one's really quite sure about you," Dante mused propping his head on his fist, his eyes continuing to study Ash.

Ash leaned back in his chair kicking one leg out over the arm in a very relaxed manner, a crooked smile touching his lips, "I'm not quite sure about me either."

"C'mon Ash, all you'd have to do is go out there and say 'Hi my name is--"

"I'm not going to give my real name," Ash cut in immediately, his tone slightly incredulous, though he was still having fun.

"Why not?" Dante asked raising his other arm off the table, "It's a perfectly fine name."

Ash barked a laugh at that, "If it's so fine a name why did you start calling me Ash in the first place?"

Dante opened his mouth as if to respond right off but thought better of it considering for a brief moment, "I suppose you're right nothing but Ash really suits you now."

_Damn straight!_ Ash thought, "So what would I do then? I'm not about to give them my code name either, and I doubt they'll be happy with just pictures."

"You know sign language, pretend to be mute," Dante offered appearing to be completely serious.

"I've announced you to the world at least once, I doubt they'll believe I'm mute."

"Oh I think it'd work," Dante smiled widely, "You have a very forgettable face."

"Gee thanks…" Ash replied sarcastically, knowing it was true, and had served him more than once.

Dante came to his feet then in one fluid movement, "Ready to go?"

"I never agreed I was going," Ash countered quickly, "Besides I'm really not dressed for it," Ash had long refused to get really dressed up unless there was absolutely no other choice. He felt too caged up in those suits and ties, he preferred a nice shirt and sports coat. Simple and nice not over done.

"You look fine to me," Dante continued coming around the desk and reaching a hand down to his friend presumably to draw him to his feet by the arm.

"And wouldn't you know it…" Ash began slipping away from his friend and standing on his own, "I'm suddenly feeling very camera shy."

His friend laughed outright at that, "This isn't like you Ash, showing weakness?"

"Ha, more like self-preservation," he quipped back edging a little closer to the door.

"You know that's something Heero and I both agree you've been lacking for some time," Dante continued to smile as he followed his friend.

"Speaking of which, I have somewhere I need to be," he pulled open the door all but ready to bolt out if Dante made a grab for him.

"Well go," Dante said his stance relaxing subtly as if he had been considering bringing his friend by force, "I won't stop you."

"Wasn't that what you were trying to do?" Ash asked with a questioning eyebrow raised. Dante just smiled however and waved silently to his friend, Ash returned the gesture and walked from the office. His hazel eyes flickered over the main doors briefly, there was no way he was going to be leave through those doors. Instead Ash turned towards a little used back exit an exit he had been using as of late. He remembered a time when he could walk through the main doors without problems, that had been before they had come to the center of this media spotlight.

Ash walked out of the large elaborate building and strode the short distance over to where his car had been parked, the alley way was empty as always. The lights of the colony were just beginning to dim into evening, when Ash pulled out of the alley and out onto the road. There was a significant time difference between the colony and earth, mostly because they had to coordinate with something. Since their lighting and therefore time of the day was all computerised and not connected to the sun at all, it was up to each colony to decide. Most chose to go with standard Greenwich time, which meant Heero was a few hours ahead, down on earth.

Traffic wasn't bad around the colony, many people preferring to use the public transportation and their own to feet over cars. So it only took Ash about ten minutes to make it to his apartment complex. Turning into the driveway Ash slipped the vehicle into his parking spot, and got out. "Hey Ash!" a voice called to him almost immediately.

Looking up Ash saw Milo striding towards him, he smiled at his friend, "What brings you here?"

"Oh I was just passing through, was hoping we could get a drink or something, you've been awfully busy these past few weeks," Milo pulled a hand through his dark messy curls, eyes glancing down the road to a pub he and Ash often frequented.

"Ahh, I'm going to have to take a rain check on that," Ash apologised, "I already have plans for tonight."

Milo sighed a little at that though his head nodded in understanding, "Is she pretty?" he asked suddenly a knowing smile on his face.

Ash gave a start at that, but laughed shaking his head, "It's nothing like that," he continued to chuckle seeing that Milo hardly believed him. "I'll catch you later," Ash said as he walked past his friend.

"Yeah, I'll be at the pub if she leaves early," Milo called to his back.

Ash just shook his head choosing not to respond to that, it wouldn't matter if Milo wasn't going to believe him. Walking into his apartment building Ash strode purposefully across the lobby to the elevator quickly riding it up to his floor. His apartment was darn near directly across from the elevator, and with his keys already out, it only took Ash a matter of seconds to get in. Ash dropped his keys on a small table near the door and shrugged out of his coat as he walked deeper into his apartment. He paused only long enough to get himself a cold drink before walking over to where his computer was set up in an otherwise empty corner of his living room.

His hand lightly touched upon the closed laptop, sitting off to one side of the computer table. It was Heero's laptop, he had taken it from Heero's apartment shortly after his friend had gone missing. Ash hadn't been able to do anything with the computer, it was too highly encrypted, _(yet) _it had just been something he wanted to keep to remind himself of his friend. Now it was something he could bring back to Heero, if the Japanese man wanted it. Quatre had been kind enough to give him a new one, but there was nothing like working with something you've known and become comfortable with for some time.

WMWMWMW

Heero pushed himself up partly before he grabbed onto the bar hanging above his bed to haul himself up the rest of the way. The table had been pulled across his bed earlier and his laptop rested on top of it opened and waiting for him. He was tired and frustrated from the day he had had but at the same time he wanted to speak with Ash, as they had arranged a few days before. Heero's right hand reached for the keys of his laptop while his left hand sought out the button that would raise his bed up behind him. He drew his legs up too him crossing them so it was easier to remain in this sitting position.

It had been a hard day for him, Leon had returned to evaluate his condition and make adjustments to his work schedule. Heero knew in the end it would be for the best as he was already better off and more independent than he had been a month before. But knowledge of the future never made the present easier to deal with. He didn't like the woman, it was just that simple. He wasn't fond of letting anyone that close to him, least of all if he didn't even know them. To her credit Leon respected his space as much as she could, but her work required her to be hands on every time she showed up along with numerous questions he had no interest in answering.

Heero sighed inaudibly clearing his head of those thoughts, there was no point dwelling on it at the moment. Especially not when he had potentially more tricky matters to attend to, turning his attention to the laptop screen in front of him Heero set his hands over the keys and began typing. He logged into the secured messenger he and Ash used to communicate, his screen name was simply 'yuy'.

rosie: took you long enough to get here (smiles)

The former pilot gave a slight start at Ash's online name, it struck him every time he saw it. Apparently Ash had picked up the name from an old song children used to sing, a song that also had his name in it. Heero supposed it worked, but it just seemed too odd.

yuy: you were early

rosie: bah! It doesn't matter, how was your day?

yuy: same as always

That wasn't exactly true and he knew Ash would know that, his work with Trowa had been interrupted for Leon, but tomorrow everything would be back on course. Heero was really looking forward to working in the pool again, it gave him a sense of freedom, and it was clear that it was doing the best work in the shortest time.

rosie: How'd things go with Leon today?

yuy: I don't want to talk about that.

The last thing Heero wanted to be doing was thinking about that woman.

rosie: then what do you want to talk about?

rosie: Nothing's really a 'safe' topic with you is it?

Heero's fingers hovered over the keys debating what his next response should be.

yuy: problem is you don't see any topics as off limits.

rosie: honestly I know I'm not going to be able to shoot the breeze with you about just anything it doesn't work that way

rosie: frankly I'd be rather scared if it did…but hey if you want to give it a try I'm all for it…

yuy: No that's fine.

rosie: don't you find it easier to type what you're thinking than to say it?

Heero considered that for a moment, he wasn't sure if that was the case at all but he knew Ash wanted to know what he was really thinking. To externalise a lot of what he kept to himself, but Heero really wasn't sure that was something he could do. It was easier to make observations about others than it was to openly admit things about himself.

rosie: I'll take that as a no…

rosie: You don't want to talk?

rosie: That's fine, you know I can do enough talking for the both of us.

Heero leaned back against his bed watching the screen, and the messages that continued to pop up.

rosie: You watch, you won't have to type a thing.

rosie: I bet I can guess everything that's bothering you.

rosie: Leon came in today, that right there's enough to set you off.

rosie: Though I don't really think this attitude is all that different from your normal one.

rosie: So why is it that you hate people who are just trying to help you?

rosie: But I guess John and I would be exception to that, eh?

rosie: I'm getting sidetracked (smiles)

rosie: So you're pissed off but don't want to talk about it.

rosie: but that won't do, you internalise to much, it causes tension for your friends.

rosie: You need to let go sometimes, it's good for your health.

rosie: So what do you think of Leon?

Heero shifted on the bed, being drawn back to the computer, Ash just didn't know when to stop.

yuy; Didn't I tell you I didn't want to talk about it?

rosie: you're not talking, I am, for the both of us.

rosie: I'm trying to help you.

yuy: you call this helping?

rosie: Yes I do!

rosie: I can push you till you snap without fear of death.

Despite himself a tiny smirk touched on Heero's face at that.

yuy: I can just sign out.

rosie: yeah but then you'd be bored.

yuy: I'm sure I could find something to entertain myself…

rosie: I hope it wouldn't involve undermining my computer…

yuy: you may smell a little smoke.

rosie: Hey now let's not do that (laughs)

rosie: finally! This is what I was waiting for!

yuy?

rosie: I just wanted you to lighten up a little.

rosie: It makes things easier on the others.

yuy: I can't be like Duo…

rosie: HA! I wouldn't want you to be!

rosie: but I know this isn't you either…

rosie: It might be the only you I've seen, but those pictures on your wall tell a different story.

rosie: subtly different…

rosie: I don't know if it'll improve your mood, but Dante and I are coming in August.

rosie: Dante just told me today, that August 19 is the Sank Kingdom's birthday, so we'll be down a little before then, for all the festivities.

Heero felt surprised by his reaction to that news, he felt as though he could relax a little, and he hadn't truly realised just how tense he was until now. He felt that he should make some sort of response to that, but wasn't really sure what to say.

yuy: That's good to hear.

rosie: glad to see your so excited (laughs)

yuy: I don't know what you expected to hear.

rosie: (laughs) no, no, that was fine (smiles) I know you can't wait to see me again!

A knock on his door drew Heero's attention away from the computer and he watched as John walked into the room. The old doctor was carrying a clear cup which looked like it contained milk, Heero knew better though, it was more than likely a supplement.

"Are you talking to Ash?" John asked as he stepped a little closer, Heero silently nodded his eyes flickering back to the screen to see what Ash had just messaged him.

rosie: It must be getting late there should I let you get some sleep?

"You should get some sleep," the old doctor said, a smile touching his lips as he looked back from the screen to Heero, "I'm heading home for the night, I just wanted to bring you this first."

Heero took the offered cup, quickly drinking down a few mouthfuls of it. He didn't mind these drinks for the most part, he and the other pilots had used them often during the war. "Have a good night," he said as he placed the cup beside his computer.

"You too Heero," John smiled, "I know Trowa wants to bring you to the pool tomorrow, so try and get some sleep soon."

The former pilot nodded his head, already looking forward to doing something productive tomorrow, he didn't watch John leave the room but returned his attention to the screen.

rosie: you still there?

yuy: Sorry, John just came in.

rosie: everything alright?

yuy: Yeah, he was just leaving for the night.

rosie: I should let you get some sleep then.

rosie: I know you're not going to tell me to leave, so I'm just going to say goodnight, and I'll be seeing you soon!

yuy: night.

Thanks for Reading!

**One Step Closer to Independence**:

Duo lay on his stomach in the center of his living room with his young son Erik, who was busy playing with his toy cars, but couldn't seem to do it happily without daddy there watching him. His little lips sputtered as he voiced the sounds he knew cars made as he drove the toys over the carpet, using the flow and pattern of the rug as his roads. Duo leaned his hand onto one fist a smile on his face as he watched what had been a quiet ride end in a three, four, five car pileup. Duo chuckled a little at that, knowing the only reason there weren't more cars piled up there was because they were out of reach.

"Oh!" Erik called laughing happily as he got to his hands and knees to get more cars, but these weren't added to the pile, instead Duo found them all lined up in a nice neat row in front of him. "You drive too daddy!" Erik giggled as he began lining up his once crashed cars in a similar way. "These ones first," he said taking one of his own cars and pointing at a similar one in Duo's line.

The former pilot took hold of the car his son had indicated and began pushing it across the floor, mimicking the sounds Erik had been making earlier. It had been a surreal experience the first time he had lay on the floor to play with his son, he had felt awkward and unsure of himself. But Erik had just known what to do, and without thinking eased Duo right into these games. Driving his car up his son's arm over his shoulder and down his side Duo caused a fit of laughter that could be heard throughout the house. Above those happy sounds Duo's ears caught the sound of a baby's cry.

The new voice was that of his daughter Anaya, only a few days old she was beautiful, tiny, and exactly what Duo had been hoping for. The sound of Anaya's cries became louder as Hilde brought their daughter into the living room. Duo was already coming to his feet after ruffling Erik's hair who continued to play with his cars. They had been warned that Erik might experience some jealousy towards his baby sister, but so far Duo hadn't noticed anything. Both he and Hilde showered as much attention on him as they did before, he seemed indifferent, he liked his little sister, but playing was a little higher on his 'things to do list'.

"Duo," Hilde called as she walked into the living room carrying their red faced little girl who was crying her little heart out.

"Come here babe," Duo said softly as he took Anaya from his wife, laying her on his arm snuggled close to his chest. Hilde passed a soother over to him, which he gently slipped into Anaya's open mouth. That didn't stop her tears immediately but slowly as the moments passed and Duo settled her blanket snugly around her Anaya began to calm, her little eyes closing.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	49. One Step Closer to Independence

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Here's the next chapter I'd like to again thank my editors! You guys are doing a great job! Thanks so much for putting up with me!

**Disclaimer**: Nope I still don't own Gundam Wing!

**One Step Closer to Independence**

Heero sat up on his bed late in the night. He had been asleep for a few hours but had awakened suddenly feeling restless. He shifted to the edge of his bed with some effort hanging his feet over the edge. It had been a week since he had spoken to Ash, and in that time Heero had made some progress with his recovery, but he still wasn't able to walk on his own yet, he hadn't even been given the chance to try. Heero's eyes looked to the end of his bed in the darkened room, seeing the metal bars that had been brought in a day or so earlier in preparations for tomorrow. Leon was going to be coming in, mostly to watch but also to instruct Trowa in what was needed.

She had been on the outside through most of this, coming in just about once a week to check his progress and make sure nothing was being neglected. Heero hated those days, but he dealt with them and as time went on. He knew they'd come less often, and finally not at all once he was on his feet again. The soldier in him wanted to deal with this entirely on his own, he didn't want to be relying on others, revealing his weaknesses. Still at the same time he could see John's point, and despite his instincts Heero wanted to be back at one hundred percent. He didn't want to have to learn how to deal with a limb that was no longer working as well as another.

Sighing Heero rubbed at his right eye feeling that nagging ache rise up out of the blue, and he was glad for a moment that it was so dark in the room. His eyes tended to become really light sensitive when this pain came on, the ache had been common for him ever since he had first woke in this room a few months back. It and his still healing ribs were about the only pain he was left dealing with after all he had been through. The muscles in his body ached from the exercise he put them through earlier that day, but that was a pain he had always been able to enjoy.

Heero's eyes studied the floor below his feet, he wanted to be standing on his own, able to walk, to leave this room of his own free will, to be completely independent after so long. And he wasn't particularly fond of waiting either.

WMWMWMW

Trowa stepped off the elevator at close to two in the morning, the circus had done two performances that night, to accommodate the large number of crowds visiting the city during the high tourist season. Cathrine had asked him to linger a little after the shows, wanting to treat him to a late meal, in payment for the completion of a few odd jobs she had around her trailer. And because, as she said 'You're my little brother, I have to make sure you eat right.' Trowa gave his head a slow shake looking down at the leftovers she had pressed upon him to take back.

Striding down the hall towards his room, Trowa suddenly stopped when he came to the room next to Heero's, and without really thinking he walked in there. He didn't often look in on his friend when he got back late. Heero was doing well enough now that he didn't need to be monitored twenty-four/seven. But Trowa felt drawn tonight and he always followed his instincts, the door slid opened before him revealing a room that was not completely dark. A bright glow from one computer monitor lit up the back of the room with a greyish white light. Trowa walked towards it placing his container on the table as he did.

Emerald eyes focused in on the monitor to find a scene unfolding that Trowa hadn't been expecting at all. Heero sat on the edge of his bed head down his hands were gripping the mattress as though he were considering stepping off the bed. Trowa didn't doubt for a second that that was exactly what Heero was thinking of doing, he was actually a little surprised it had taken Heero this long to try. Trowa turned back towards the door immediately knowing already there was an incredibly good chance this wasn't going to go as well as Heero wanted.

WMWMWMW

Heero's hands ached with the grip he had on the edge of his bed, he wanted to just step off and believe his legs would hold him without effort. But he knew enough to know that probably wouldn't be the case, there would be effort, and he could well fall. But he wasn't about to let himself dwell on that, he was going to do this, was going to stand on his own two feet. Drawing in a calming breath Heero slowly moved off the bed trying to keep most of his weight on his arms and against the bed. His arms weren't really better off than his legs, but perhaps with both he could remain standing.

His bare feet touched on the cold tile floor causing a shiver to run up his spine. The muscles in his legs bunched as his weight settled upon them for the first time outside of the pool. He remained like that for a moment, slowly moving more of his weight to his legs and off of the bed. The muscles burned but held him up. Heero felt his lips twitch up into a tiny smile as he released the bed entirely, he knew the next telling step was to actually try and take a step on his own away from the bed. His focus was completely on the floor and not ending up on it as he moved a shaky leg.

Heero's knee gave way almost immediately, and he twisted violently trying to regain a hold on the bed to keep himself from falling, but it was no use. Bracing himself for what would be a painful impact Heero jerked in surprise when it didn't come. Instead Heero felt strong arms grab hold of him, and he stiffened having not heard the knock or the door opening. His head shot up to look squarely in Trowa's disapproving face.

"What are you trying to do?" Trowa ask in an almost demanding tone.

The former pilots eyes narrowed angrily, "What does it look like!"

"It looks like you're trying to injure yourself again," was Trowa's dry response.

"Go to hell," Heero growled.

Trowa opened his mouth as though to spit out a quick retort but instead sighed, "This pride of yours is going to get you killed."

Remaining stiff, Heero moved to push himself away from Trowa back towards the bed. Perhaps he wasn't ready to walk on his own, but he would be able to if he held himself up with something, he wouldn't need Trowa's help for this. His progressed was stopped however when Trowa's hands tightened their grip. "Let go of me," he growled eyes staring daggers at the hands holding him in place with so little effort.

"I don't want to see you on the ground," the clown responded with a great deal of calm in his voice.

Heero's frustration and anger boiled at that, but he refused to struggle in Trowa's grip, he merely remained stiff holding himself as far away from his friend as was possible. His legs trembled because of this but it didn't matter. Trowa didn't seem to care what Heero was doing, he still wasn't going to let go; instead the taller man shifted his position so he was standing more directly in front of Heero, with a hand on both sides of the Japanese man. Slowly Heero raised his head to glare up at Trowa, only to find an indifferent mask concealing what his friend was actually thinking.

"You want to do this, fine," Trowa told him in his usual emotionless voice, "But I'm not going to just turn around and let you fall, so we'll do this my way." Heero's expression darkened at that but Trowa shook his head speaking before Heero could get a word out, "We've been doing it my way since the beginning, nothing's changed."

That was a truth Heero couldn't deny, not that he wanted to just accept that and pretend like he wasn't pissed off, but his stance relaxed a little. His shoulders easing as the tension left him, and he allowed, more of his weight to rest on Trowa's arms which were now resting beneath Heero's his hands firmly gripping Heero's arms. "What brought you in here?" he asked suddenly, thinking a little clearer now, he realised how late it was.

"Intuition," Trowa told him simply his lips twitching into a slight smirk he himself relaxing some. The former pilot began slowly stepping back, his arms remaining firmly held so that Heero could support himself. It was during moments like these that Heero realised again and again, just how much taller Trowa was, Heero's head wasn't even close to Trowa's shoulder. Height wasn't a requirement for the jobs Heero had performed, it wasn't something he had ever felt he needed. But still they had all been so close during the war, just when had the others grown?

They worked in a few moments of silence, Heero concentrating on the slow, difficult process that was walking. Each step took a great deal of effort for him, he did not want to misstep, he just wanted to be able to walk and move with ease, it had been so long. The silence between them didn't last that long, "You really should be sleeping right now, you won't be able to afford this for too much longer."

Heero rolled his eyes his head down focusing on the movement of his legs, that and keeping his eyes in shadow thereby lessening the pain behind his eye. "Tell that to my mind…" he mutely sighed, his legs trembling more and more with each step that he took. It wouldn't be much longer before his legs wouldn't move at all. Sweat slid down his face from the effort, and his breathing was becoming short. He had no idea how long he had been working at this, but he wasn't surprised when his right knee finally gave out on him. Despite the fact that most of his weight was on Trowa's arms, the joint was no longer willing to support him.

Trowa caught Heero again, one arm slipping around Heero's side while the other held Heero's arm. The Japanese man hissed in pain as Trowa's forearm compressed against his ribs, but he couldn't seem to get his feet under him so he could stand on his own. "Sorry," Trowa said softly, as he quickly slipped his free arm behind Heero's knees so he could lift him to gently place on the edge of his bed. Heero watched Trowa as he moved around the far side of the bed to walk into the bathroom, but was more focused on easing his breathing that what his friend was actually doing.

Letting his eyes fall closed Heero waited for the pain to ebb, from both his head and chest. His body felt shaky, and tired, his mind was ready for sleep finally. He wondered briefly how he'd be for tomorrow, no doubt sore. "Here," Trowa's voice brought Heero back and he blinked looking up at the damp cloth his friend was holding out to him. Accepting the cloth without a word Heero pressed it to his face for a brief moment holding it over his eyes, it felt good. Not wanting to draw attention Heero began wiping at his face and neck, removing some of the sweat that coated his skin.

Passing the cloth back to Trowa, Heero pulled his legs onto the bed and worked at slipping them under the covers. He lowered himself slowly to the mattress, as Trowa walked back into the bathroom to return the face cloth. The last thing Trowa did before leaving for the night was to pour Heero a cup of water and put it within easy reach. He then walked from the room without saying a word. Nothing was needed to be said. Heero let his eyes fall closed, and sleep quickly took him, stealing away the ache that filled his body.

WMWMWMW

Duo lay on his stomach in the center of his living room with his young son Erik, who was busy playing with his toy cars, but couldn't seem to do it happily without daddy there watching him. His little lips sputtered as he voiced the sounds he knew cars made as he drove the toys over the carpet, using the flow and pattern of the rug as his roads. Duo leaned his hand onto one fist a smile on his face as he watched what had been a quiet ride end in a three, four, five car pileup. Duo chuckled a little at that, knowing the only reason there weren't more cars piled up there was because they were out of reach.

"Oh!" Erik called laughing happily as he got to his hands and knees to get more cars, but these weren't added to the pile, instead Duo found them all lined up in a nice neat row in front of him. "You drive too daddy!" Erik giggled as he began lining up his once crashed cars in a similar way. "These ones first," he said taking one of his own cars and pointing at a similar one in Duo's line.

The former pilot took hold of the car his son had indicated and began pushing it across the floor, mimicking the sounds Erik had been making earlier. It had been a surreal experience the first time he had lay on the floor to play with his son, he had felt awkward and unsure of himself. But Erik had just known what to do, and without thinking eased Duo right into these games. Driving his car up his son's arm over his shoulder and down his side Duo caused a fit of laughter that could be heard throughout the house. Above those happy sounds Duo's ears caught the sound of a baby's cry.

The new voice was that of his daughter Anaya, only a few days old she was beautiful, tiny, and exactly what Duo had been hoping for. The sound of Anaya's cries became louder as Hilde brought their daughter into the living room. Duo was already coming to his feet after ruffling Erik's hair who continued to play with his cars. They had been warned that Erik might experience some jealousy towards his baby sister, but so far Duo hadn't noticed anything. Both he and Hilde showered as much attention on him as they did before, he seemed indifferent, he liked his little sister, but playing was a little higher on his 'things to do list'.

"Duo," Hilde called as she walked into the living room carrying their red faced little girl who was crying her little heart out.

"Come here babe," Duo said softly as he took Anaya from his wife, laying her on his arm snuggled close to his chest. Hilde passed a soother over to him, which he gently slipped into Anaya's open mouth. That didn't stop her tears immediately but slowly as the moments passed and Duo settled her blanket snugly around her Anaya began to calm, her little eyes closing.

"Already she's got you wrapped around her little finger," Hilde smiled leaning in to kiss him soundly on the mouth.

Duo grinned, "I'm just a ladies' man."

"Well what would my ladies' man, and my little man," she said ruffling Erik's short wavy hair, "Like for lunch?"

"Grilcheese!" Erik piped up immediately jumping to his feet, a toy car still in hand.

"Sounds good to me," Duo agreed walking towards the kitchen with his now sleeping daughter cradled tightly to his chest. Erik ran ahead laughing all the way, he was such a cheerful child, Duo hoped and prayed it would remain honest, and not just a façade meant to protect him. It was no longer solely that for him, though Duo knew he had a terrible habit of slipping into it from time to time.

Erik was first into the kitchen running ahead to hop into his chair, when Duo turned the corner he saw his son driving his car across his place mat. "Duo could you get Erik some milk?" Hilde asked as she began working near the stove.

Duo came up behind his wife, burring his face in her neck to kiss the soft skin there while his free hand snuck around the front finding its way up her shirt. Hilde laughed in surprise, one hand going to his arm to pull it out, while the other touched his face drawing him up so she could kiss his mouth. Duo pulled back after a moment a smile on his face, "Now I can get the milk."

Hilde laughed, "Whatever makes you happy."

"In that case!" Duo said excitedly.

"That would be appropriate in front of the children," Hilde added smiling at him.

Duo pouted a little at that as he moved to a cabinet to remove a cup for his son, "That's no fun," he said moving about the kitchen with his daughter still peacefully sleeping in his arms. "Here you go kiddo," Duo placed the cup of milk in front of Erik who beamed up at his father his and still pushing the car back and forth on the table. Duo took a seat across from his son, leaning back in his chair as he looked down at Anaya.

"Are you going to the agency today?" Hilde asked, her back to her boys as she made lunch.

"Not until later," Duo replied, "Quatre's shuttle lands in about an hour," he continued checking his watch to be sure. "But he won't be able to make it to our wing until around dinner time," Duo was anxious for that to happen, it had been a while since all of them had been together, he was also eager to reveal his plan to the others.

"So you won't be home for dinner tonight?" Hilde flipped the grilled cheese before glancing over her shoulder to her husband.

"There's a lot I need to do, but I'll try to get it done as quickly as possible," Hilde wasn't a demanding woman, far from it. She understood the requirements of his job, and dealt with the times he had to be away very well. What with the kids and the business she ran out of the home Hilde always had more than enough to keep her busy, they both tried to keep their times apart as infrequent as possible.

Hilde smiled at him as she brought Erik's lunch to the table placing it before her son and receiving a customary kiss for her efforts. "Don't feel you have to rush, how's _he_ been doing these last couple of days?" there was no reason to specify which 'he' Hilde was referring too. They made a point not to mention Heero's name within Erik's hearing, their son was too young to understand who it was, but he was old enough to repeat just about anything that he heard his parents say.

"Short tempered," Duo stated simply but if felt like an understatement, about the only person Heero didn't snap at was Relena. Duo would have expected the closer Heero got in his recovery the better mood he would have been in, but to his surprise it had been quite the opposite. He supposed—if he really thought about it—it did make sense, considering the closer Heero got the more he just wanted to have his independence, to be back where he used to be. "It's really just impatience," he said after a moments thought, they'd all make it through, they weren't about to loose this friendship now. Duo hoped the gift he had would help Heero a little.

"How are things between him and Relena?" she asked then, returning to the stove to make some for herself and Duo.

"Getting better, she been spending as much time with him as her schedule allows," which was becoming a little looser every month, Relena had not publicly announced that she's been planning to withdraw from the political circle. At the moment she hadn't wanted to cause any panic, she had spoken at length with all of them, and a consensuses had been reached. Withdraw after the matter of the Inner Circle had been dealt with, so people couldn't look back on it and assume it had only happened because Relena hadn't been there to mediate and protect.

"That's good to hear," Hilde commented placing two more plates on the table, "Do you want me to take that little angel for a while?" she asked walking around the table and leaned down to gently stroke her baby's head.

"Nah, that's alright babe," Duo smiled up at his wife lifting from his seat enough to kiss her, "You have to juggle her all day, enjoy a break."

She kissed him deeply, "Thank you," and went to get them both drinks.

WMWMWMW

Duo held the small wooden box in his right hand as he walked down the hall towards their common room. It was close to five o'clock in the evening, and only now had they all been able to meet. Quatre had had a hard time pulling away from all the diplomats, but with the need for a private meal with close friends, he had finally managed to slip away. Duo punched the code to their door, excited to see what everyone thought of his gift. The idea had come to him one night, and he hadn't been able to stop thinking about it since then.

Stepping into the room Duo's face broke out into a smile when he saw his friends lounging in the room. Quatre stood at Duo's entrance his business jacket and tie draped over a chair and the first two button of his white shirt undone, he looked relaxed. "Duo, how's Hilde and your new little girl?" Quatre asked smiling widely extending his hand to the braided man.

"They're both doing great," Duo replied shaking his friend's hand firmly, "Hilde's dying to show her off."

"I'll be sure to see them both before I go back, I have gifts for Anaya and Hilde," Quatre assured moving back to the couches were Trowa and Wufei had remained.

"Have you been in to see Heero yet?" Duo asked then changing the subject, he couldn't wait any longer to show them all what he had had made.

Quatre shook his head, "Trowa thought it best to give him a little time to wined down before we go in to see him."

"Things were really bad today?" Duo asked glancing at Trowa.

The brown haired man shrugged his shoulders, "Nothing significant happened today."

"He's just getting more impatient," Wufei commented shifting in his chair, "He doesn't want to rest until he's on his feet walking on his own."

Duo shook his head slowly, he couldn't blame Heero; he had been at the mercy of the people around him, almost totally dependant on their care. Something Duo thought Heero had never experienced before, at least not for this long. "Is Relena with him right now?" he couldn't begin to imagine how hard this must have been for her.

"Yeah, she went to see him as soon as she could slip away from all the politicians. We arrived together actually," Quatre answered, unbuttoning the sleeves of his dress shirt to begin rolling them up.

"So she hasn't been in there for too long…" Duo wanted to give her time with Heero before he went in to give Heero the gift he had brought.

"She did say that we should all come in once you get here," Wufei told him.

Nodding his head, Duo's hands moved over the small box he was holding on his lap, now was as good a time as any to give the other pilots their gift. He wanted to see their reactions as much as Heero's. "I had something made for all of us," he began then opening the box and removing a stainless steel chain, with two dog tags attached to it. He passed the first to Quatre and then reached for another giving one to each of the pilots while pulling out one for himself. "I was hoping something like this might remind Heero that we're still behind him."

Trowa held the chain closely examining the dog tags, "AC 195, December 25 AC 196," he read aloud while the others looked on, "May 4 AC 200, 'We Survived!'"

"May fourth," Wufei breathed leaning back in his chair, "The day Heero finally explained what had happened."

"Duo where'd you get the idea for this?" Quatre asked clutching the dog tags in his hand as though he were afraid someone would rip them from his grasp.

"I don't actually know," the braided man said slipping his own chain over his head, and pulling his braid through. "I just wanted something that I could give him that would show nothing has changed, nothing will change."

Quatre's smile grew if that were possible as he placed his own chain around his neck, the others doing the same, "What and excellent idea!" he beamed.

WMWMWMW

Heero sat on the far edge of his bed, one leg hanging over the side. It felt good to be sitting without anything propping him, though he found it sometimes painful with his ribs, he had to sit completely straight to keep them from aching too badly. Relena stood in front of him, a photo album propped between them, partially on her arm, but mostly resting on his knees. They were all pictures Relena had taken over the years that she had thought he might like to see. And Heero did appreciate it, with Relena standing so close to him, pointing at each picture and telling him a little about it, he found himself able to forget the day completely.

"This was Léyul's first birthday, the press wanted it to be public, but Noin insisted that her first born was not going to be in the spotlight from birth." Relena explained a smile on her face as she clearly remembered back to that time. Heero had heard about the birth of Zechs and Noin's son several years back on the news, also their daughter Farin.

Heero bent a little closer to one photo, "What's that on his head?" he asked pointing at a picture of Léyul who was smiling triumphantly for the camera.

Relena laughed, "That would be the birthday cake…" she smiled up at him, "I'm not sure if he even tasted any of his piece, it seemed to go everywhere but in his mouth."

"Are they always like that?" Heero asked, he hadn't spent any time around young children.

She laughed again, it was such a light happy sound, it raised Heero's mood, "Well yes Heero, for the most part every child does that," she smiled at him her eyes sparkling, "Don't you know it's fun to eat your food?" Heero looked at her with a raised eyebrow, he didn't find eating in general fun, looking back at the picture he slowly shook his head. Relena leaned forward and kissed him, "You're so serious," she chided as she straightened to continue the tour of her photos. But before they could get and further there was a knock on the door.

Heero drew a little more onto his bed so he could better see who walked through, while Relena closed the album and placed it on the bed beside him. Duo was the first to walk through the door, he carried a small wooden box in his hand, and an easy smile on his face. Completely opposite to how he had first walked into Heero's room, the former pilot didn't feel any tension from his friends now, which was a relief. Relena's face broke out into a wide smile as she walked around the bed to throw her arms around Duo's neck.

"How's Hilde and Anaya?" she asked receiving a tight hug in return from Duo.

"There doing great!" Duo beamed clearly proud of his new little girl.

Heero felt his body jerk a little, he wanted very much to get up and walk over to them, not to have to wait for them to come to him. But he still couldn't walk on his own, he would have thought it was something that would have improved a little by now, but it seemed to be taking longer than everything else. He kept his dark thoughts and emotions well hidden, his expression remaining a mask, that to the others he knew looked indifferent. He didn't doubt more than one of them could guess it wasn't how he truly felt, but he also knew none of them would asked him about it.

The all came around the bed together so they were standing in front of Heero, that irritated him, but he squashed it down deep inside himself. Relena returned to his side, moving the album further onto the bed and seating herself beside him. Quatre stepped forward then, extending a hand to Heero, "It's been a while," he began with a smile, "You're looking better," Heero shook his friend's hand firmly, but had no idea what to say in response to that, thankfully Quatre didn't seem to need one. Heero then began to get the feeling something was up, they were all standing there, and if felt like they were waiting for something. Having no idea what it was that they were waiting for, and not feeling incredibly social at the moment, Heero was content to wait them out.

Duo didn't wait long, still smiling he open the box he had carried in his hands and removed a chain from it. He didn't say anything as he passed it too Heero, they all watched him intently, waiting to see his reaction. Heero took the chain in one hand and reached out with his other to catch hold of the dog tags clicking together. They fell flat in his hand, one read AC 195, the other 'We Survived!' Heero looked up at the others briefly before flipping the tags over to see what was on the other side. The first displayed Dec 25 AC 196, and the second May 4 AC 200. The first tag was easy for Heero to understand it was roughly the beginning and the end of the war, but the second, at least the date Heero couldn't realise the significance.

Relena had been looking at the tags over his left shoulder, "May 4th…" she mused at the date her head coming up to look at the others, "Wufei wasn't that…"

"The day we went in to see Heero," the Chinese man confirmed with a nod of his head.

Heero glanced between the two of them before his eyes looked to the others, it was all starting to make sense for him. It was hard to fully comprehend the meaning behind all of this, he wondered whose idea this was, and did this truly mean everything could be put behind them? Heero decided not to over think it or to analyse every angle, he simply slipped the chain around his neck, seeing that the others were wearing identical chains and tags. Duo's smile grew, "I've been dying to show you those," he laughed as the air of anticipation faded from the room.

He didn't know what to say, as he looked down at the tags he held in his hand, it was a symbol of what they had all wanted for months. As the seconds slipped passed and Relena leaned her head against his shoulder Heero came to feel that perhaps his silence was the right answer, or at least enough for Duo, who was beaming darn near from ear to ear. Chairs were pulled up to the bedside and soon everyone was seated, Heero felt comfortable and almost completely on level with his friends. He knew there was still a way to go before he felt equal to them, that everything was well and truly back to how it had been, yet moments like this were not unappreciated.

Thanks for Reading!

**The Need to be Alone**:

"Trying to prove something?" John asked with a raised eye brow, the expression on his face strangely hard to read. John had never struck Heero as a truly secretive man, he had always been easy to read, there was no mistaking when he was happy or disappointed. But at the moment Heero couldn't decide what John was thinking.

Choosing not to reply to the comment Heero instead focused his attention of making it back to his bed, there was more of a burden now to do it without faltering what with John watching him. The distance seemed so much further this time than when he had left his bed, but he pressed on supporting himself on the wall with each step. He was grateful to the fact that John did not feel the need to step out and help him but remain where he was just inside the room. When finally he did make it back to the edge of his bed Heero took a moment to catch his breath before hoisting himself up.

John stepped deeper into the room then the expression on his face relaxing though it still didn't tell Heero very much of what the doctor was thinking. "Care to tell me what happened?" Heero simply shook his head settling back on the bed feeling very tired but more than a little satisfied, he had proven to himself that he wasn't completely helpless. "I know you had a nightmare," John stated then.

_How could he know?_ Heero wondered silently continuing to study the doctor without any real expression.

"I understand from Sally that nightmares are common for you, that you'll even fight sleep to avoid them. Considering the life you've led this is hardly surprising," he took a slow seat on the edge of the bed.

"It's not just me," Heero corrected, they all dealt with their own demons.

"No, I know that," John smiled gently, "But up until now you haven't had any...why?"

Heero eyed John for a moment wondering silently if there was any chance the old doctor would just let the matter drop. "Too many drugs..." he responded finally knowing that to be the simplest answer, and also that John wasn't likely to just let the silence be.

John blinked in clear surprise, obviously having not expected an answer, then that same smile returned to his face, kinder than Heero ever remembered seeing it still looked strange to him. "Ahh..." he breathed, "Do you ever talk about them?"

"They're not really worth repeating," Heero told him quickly, he couldn't think of a time where he had ever related what he saw in his nightmares. He didn't want to put that burden on anyone's shoulders, least of all dwell upon them himself.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	50. The Need to be Alone

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Here we are with yet another chapter! And a mile stone too, Chapter 50, I honestly thought when I started typing this that 50 would be near to the end. How wrong I was, I'm presently working on chapter 60, there's just so much to write!

I swear to you there's more Heero/Relena goodness coming. I'll hopefully be able to give you a double chapter in the next little while (never imagined I'd be doing as many of those as I have been, but I don't think any of us would have made it this far without it (laughs))

A **Huge Thanks!** To my editor **Pious Knight **and **morgansgirl!**

**coldsunshin**: Thanks so much for the review! And I'll apologise in advance….I don't think this one ends much better! Thanks again!

**Morrighan of Crimson and Sable**: Thank you! I couldn't wait to introduce them! The originally came up as just an after thought, a later character had asked Heero what he wore around his neck, and I did a whole flashback, but I like the way this turned out better! Thanks again for the review!

**ghostreader**: Thanks so much! I hope you enjoy this chapter, sorry it couldn't be another double!

**Mini Nicka**: Here is more! Thank you!

**kirbus**: Thank you! That's a real honour I hope you find this chapter soon and enjoy it! Thanks again!

**L.A.UNE**: Sorry it took a little while I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks for the review!

**D3**: Thank you! I don't usually like writing children, they always seem to act to old, but I actually enjoyed writing Erik, Thanks again for the reviews!

**Raizard333**: Thanks for the review! It won't be too much longer before he's walking on his own and sparing against the other pilots. Sorry this took a little while I hope you enjoy it!

**IchikoKitsuneKoumori**: Thanks for the reviews! Ash returns in this chapter, about time too he's good people especially for Heero, thanks again!

**Wufei-the-back-side-slayer**: Thanks! Sorry no real insight into his past some vague references, but I haven't wanted to write nightmares for Heero as they have a tendency to become repetitive. I don't mind if your borrowed the dog tags, thanks again for the review!

**JM McLand**: Wow! I'm impressed! I really am, and Thank you! Hurray! Some of my readers hate Ash and Dante with a passion, always nice to know some people like them (laughs). Relena's relationship with the other pilots was a little bit of a problem for me before Heero cleared his name actually (laughs) especially Wufei. Any time I had the two of them in a scene together things kept trying to turn intimate, and I'd have to pull myself up and try it again to keep a deeper relationship from forming (smiles). I'm going to have to write a story for Relena and Wufei one of these days just to get it out of my system! Thanks again!

**Auza-Isaka-Winner**: Thank you! Hope you don't die! You must live to see how this all ends! Thanks again for the review!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing

**The Need to be Alone**

Heero's hands gripped the cold metal bar his legs trembling a little but continued to support him. Progress was slow, too slow, but Heero could see his legs endurance was getting a little stronger every day. He had already been working at this for a little while, Trowa silently watching from the far end of the walkway. Trowa had chosen to stand there on his own rather than following along beside Heero's slow progress. He appreciated it, the distance gave Heero a sense of being on his own. He didn't really like to be thinking that he had to rely on someone to watch out for him.

He stepped forward with confidence, his arms and his legs working in equal share to support him as he walked towards the other end of the narrow path before him. Through the corner of one eye Heero studied his right arm. The short sleeve of his shirt was covering half its length so he couldn't see the puckered scar from where his arm had been impaled. But he could see how thin his arm was, and the slight tremble that ran near continuously through the muscles. Heero tore his eyes off his arm and focused them before him, looking in Trowa's direction without actually focusing on his friend. He didn't want to be watching his legs or any part of himself for that matter, he wanted to walk without having to focus on anything, he wanted it to be natural.

Drawing in a sharp breath, Heero continued forward forcing himself on, trying to make each movement as smooth as possible. It was an effort, and there was pain, but Heero grit his teeth and pushed himself on. The sudden touch of Trowa's hand upon his shoulder brought Heero out of the fog suddenly, and he realised he was at the end of his path, and breathing hard wincing with each intake of breath. "That's enough for today," the taller man said firmly, removing his hand from Heero's shoulder, and taking a short step back to give his friend a little room. Heero appreciated the small gestures, a little space to gather himself before he had to be moved back to his bed.

As he slowed his breathing down Heero's eyes looked off towards his bed, if he wasn't standing here working, he was laying there doing nothing. Heero stiffened at the very thought of it, he didn't want to go back to that, but he knew he couldn't stay here either, there had to be something else. Shutting his eyes for a few seconds, Heero drew in several calming breaths the pain in his ribs finally abating for the moment. Looking up finally Heero's eyes sought out the far edge of his room, from which the light spilled in, for once his eyes were not feeling light sensitive.

"Ready?" Trowa asked stepping closer as though preparing to pick Heero up.

"Over there," Heero gestured using his head, not trusting his legs enough to release the bard.

Trowa's eyes followed to where Heero had indicated, and without a word he lifted his friend into his arms and crossed the room, placing the Japanese man into the chair closest to the window. Heero settled back, every muscle in his body feeling shaky and sore, and he leaned back completely relaxing, as Trowa twisted the chair more towards the window. For the first time in months Heero looked outside, much the same as the time Heero had first noticed the sunlight, he was amazed at how it felt. His window over looked the cliff edge down to the ocean, large white clouds moved slowly across the otherwise blue sky, causing the sea to be a reach hue.

After a few moments of silence Heero found a glass of water being held in front of his face, he jerked his head back to focus an unimpressed stare Trowa's way before reaching out to take the cup. It took taking a sip for Heero to realise just how thirsty he was, downing the rest he passed it back to Trowa who walked back into the bathroom to fill it. A knock on the door drew Heero's attention fully from the window and he glanced back over his shoulder to see who would come walking through.

Ash strode into the room as though he had not been gone from earth for more than a month. He wore his usual friendly expression, which split into a genuine smile when his eyes finally found Heero sitting at the far side of the room. "Now that's a much better sight!" he said excitedly, as he walked into the room, "How are you feeling?" Ash wasted no time in falling back into old habits.

"Tired, I'm sure," Trowa responded for Heero as he stepped out of the bathroom carrying the glass of water. It was true, but not something Heero was about to admit, or refute for that matter, instead he chose to stand mute on the subject as he usually did, or at least tried.

"Always nice to get an answer even if it's not from Heero," Ash laughed extending his hand in greeting towards Trowa. They both knew of each other, but had not actually met before now, they shook briefly before Ash seated himself on the windowsill, so Heero wouldn't have to twist in his seat to see him. "You going to say anything? Or are you too tired to talk?"

Heero swallowed the mouthful of water before focusing an unimpressed stare Ash's way, "When did you land?" he asked finally, noting Trowa had settled himself against a wall to silently observe.

Ash glanced down at his wrist watch, "About three hours ago, actually…" he chuckled then shaking his head, "The news media was insane, everywhere the moment we landed, I had a hell of a time slipping away from it all."

"Une was there to greet you?" Trowa half asked, Heero had heard some talk about her going to meet Dante, the thought of the two of them together still seemed odd to Heero, but hadn't been sure if she actually would.

Ash chuckled a bit at that, "I'm sure there'll be more than a little talk in the paper about that. They kept their greetings very business like, but he's the only one she's come to the shuttle port to personally greet, even President Winner didn't receive such treatment."

Heero sipped at his water, eyes flickering between Ash and the window behind him, he wanted to enjoy the absence of pain in his head for as long as it would last. Une had yet to come and speak with him, as the others had already, Heero realised yet again. It wasn't like he was in a rush to go through the same song and dance again, but he wondered at what was keeping her. Heero wouldn't have said they were close friends, rather comrades better described them, she had been like a boss to them, keeping them in line as much as she could, while still respecting their independence. Blinking Heero found himself looking into the steady gaze of Ash, who was watching him with a crooked smile, he was surprised having not even realised he had zoned out.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Ash asked looking at Heero intently.

"Nothing in particular," he responded, ducking head a little to shield his eyes from the light, the ache wasn't back in full force, but he could feel it riding in the background.

"How's recovery coming?" Ash asked then not letting the silence last long though his eyes were on Heero, he did move enough to include Trowa in the question, "Somehow I have a feeling silence will be your answer, but that doesn't tend to tell me very much."

"I don't know what you expect," Heero said dropping his head back against the back of the chair and closing his eyes.

"Well you're on your feet, you weren't when I was here last," Ash countered.

"And I've been talking to you online, so this should come as no surprise," the former pilot returned opening his eyes a crack to regard Ash.

"So would you rather talk about how your relationship with Relena's going?" his friend asked with a wide grin, and Heero could see Trowa smirk at that.

"Quatre mentioned that he brought some pictures for you," Trowa commented then drawing the conversation in his direction rather than Heero's.

Ash's eyes sought out the wall he had decorated, and he continued to smile. Heero thought there was hardly a time where there wasn't a smile on his friends face, Ash was very much like Duo in that regard. He stood then taking a step towards the wall, before looking back over his shoulder to Trowa, "Any idea how many he brought?"

Trowa considered the question for a moment, "I seem to recall, there was mention of a photo album..."

"He'd bring me that much!" Ash's eyes were dancing with excitement.

"He'd have that many at least, yes," Trowa confirmed once more that ghost of a smile touching his lips as he watched Ash.

Heero brought his left arm up propping his head against it so he could better see Ash while at the same time shielding his eyes from the light, which seemed to have become brighter since he had sat down. Ash was studying the wall carefully one arm folded across his chest the other supporting his chin, "I'll have to see them before I know where I want them to go, but there's time for that later," he turned back then returning to his previous seat.

There was silence in the room for several minutes, not uncomfortable, both he and Trowa were used to silence, they knew each other well enough, and were similar enough that they didn't need words. And for Ash's part he was used to Heero's lack of conversation, somehow knowing when it was best to just let the silence stand, even if he didn't always choose to follow his better judgment. Heero sighed inaudibly feeling drained all of a sudden, his eyes drooped a little as he continued to stare off at a spot on the floor near him. He was brought out of his near trance when he heard Ash's voice and felt his presence near, "What's this?" Ash inquired softly as he looked into Heero's eyes before reaching for the silver chain around the former pilot's neck.

"A gift from the others," Heero responded tiredly, lifting his head from his hand to finger at the chain drawing the tags from beneath his shirt so Ash could better see.

Ash studied the tags closely, "This is nice," he said looking back up at Heero, "I brought you another gift myself."

"Hn?" he raised an eyebrow as he finished off the rest of his water slipping the dog tags back under his shirt.

"Your laptop," Ash told him with a smile, "I thought you might like to have it back," he laughed then, "Besides there was nothing I could do with it but use it as a ridiculously oversized coaster, the encryption on its too good."

"Can never be too good," Heero defended.

Ash grunted folding his arms tightly across his chest, "You up for a game of chess?" he asked seemingly out of the blue.

Heero's eyes sought out his bed and the table that rested over the end of it, he didn't exactly want to be back on his bed just yet, but at the same time he no longer wanted to be where he was either. He was feeling tired, and the pain was beginning to return behind his right eye despite the fact he was shielding his vision. "Yeah," he answered finally, and watched as the silence that followed became increasingly awkward. Ash's eyes unintentionally flickered between Trowa and Heero, and it was clear to the Japanese man, that he was wondering if Heero could walk the distance on his own. And Trowa seemed to be hesitating in stepping in, perhaps wondering if Heero would want to be carried in front of Ash. Of course the answer would be no, he didn't want to be carried in front of any of them, by and of them. But there was no use deluding himself either, he wasn't able to walk yet, he'd look more the weak fool if he tried then failed, than if he relied on a friend.

It was not a happy trade off for Heero, and he didn't even think he'd be happy walking with the help of Trowa. Truth was simple, he wasn't going to be happy with a damn thing—hadn't been happy with a damn thing—until he was able bodied on his own. Part of that at least wasn't entirely true, Relena, he had been happy with her, though like everything else there were times of frustration, but it seemed to Heero, that despite himself he always relaxed when she walked in. An otherwise unknown tension melting away at the sight of her smile. Heero was shaken from his thoughts when he felt a hand coming towards him, instincts dulled from time laid up, were still strong enough to slap the hand aside as his glaring eyes looked up to Trowa. A tiny smirk touched his friend's lips at that, and Heero couldn't keep a similar reaction from his own face. It was reassuring to know that not everything had been lost.

Trowa lifted him without another word and quickly made the cross over to Heero's bed, where the former pilot found Ash already sitting setting up the board. Trowa placed Heero on the edge of the bed, allowing Heero to shift himself where he actually wanted to be, it was an effort with his muscles feeling as watery and unresponsive as they were but he managed on his own. He'd have it no other way.

WMWMWMW

Heero woke harshly in the early evening, his body trembling his mind feeling scattered. It had been a long time since he had experienced _that_ dream. Sitting up slowly Heero drew in a few short breaths pressing a hand lightly to his throbbing ribs. Sweat beaded on his forehead, and there was a visible tremble in his hands. Heero glared darkly willing his body to come back under control, to get a hold of himself, but it seemed _that_ terror from his past hadn't fully left him. Reaching for a glass of water in his dimly lit room Heero drank slowly trying at the same time to still his racing heart. He could still clearly remember when the horror of this dream had filled his every waking moment, somehow no matter how he had tried to hide it Odin had always known.

There had been no room for weakness, never in Heero's young life, he hadn't realised it all at the time, but he had known he needed to be strong, he had to be able to defend himself. But he was only a child, what could he possibly do? Faced with impossible scenarios and being on his own, abandoned by he couldn't even imagine who, Heero had been left in a very dark place. Helplessness was its name, and it was something he couldn't fight. From it sprang fear, and self loathing, though the latter Heero didn't really experience until later in life. Anger and frustration as well called that dark pit home. As tempting and seemingly helpful as those two were Heero knew just how quickly they could drag you down further.

Shuddering Heero raked a hand through his hair, wondering if this was only effecting him as it was because it had been so long since he had suffered a nightmare. He had been too drugged and exhausted before now to dream at all, a very welcomed relief to the usual demons who tormented his night hours. But even so this dream was a rare one, one Heero had thought he had left behind, but apparently not. Heero's eyes looked about the room searching for a distraction, and he found it, at the end of his bed.

WMWMWMW

John sat on the edge of his seat in the observation room just off from Heero's, he had been planning to go home earlier than normal today, but had stopped himself when he looked in the monitor one last time. Heero had looked distressed as he lay there sleeping his head turning one way than the other, his limbs tensing slightly beneath the blankets. For anyone else John assumed it would be the equivalent of thrashing about, something Heero had never done. It was something John had noticed almost immediately, once Heero had been sleeping normally, the boy hardly ever moved once he was out, always sleeping on his back. Something John was positive was not just necessity due to the broken ribs, any other position could potentially leave him vulnerable to attack.

The day had seemed normal enough to John, Ash had arrived early in the day coming to visit with Heero after he had finished working with Trowa. They had all appeared relaxed playing games of chess and talking quietly. John had even stepped in himself in the afternoon, to bring Heero his meal and speak with Ash for the time that Heero ate. The boy had looked tired to John, but not alarmingly so, Heero was quite often tired, as he pushed himself harder and harder to get back on his feet. So what had caused this disturbance? John had been half tempted to go into Heero's room and wake the boy, but he quickly thought better of it. He didn't want to catch the boy off guard, had made it a point never to catch Heero when he wasn't expecting it.

As it was the boy had woke, on his own, and appeared calm enough, so John had relaxed, though he had wanted to remain a little longer just to make sure everything was alright. He continued to sit watching, as Heero slowly shifted down to the end of his bed, sitting with one leg nearly under him while the other was bent before him. Heero's chin was resting on his knee, his arms drawn close about him. He looked small, as he sat there looking at the wall of pictures Ash had constructed for him. John leaned a little closer to the screen hoping to catch a glimpse of Heero's face, just to make sure he was okay, but there was no hope for that, his thick unruly hair cast deep shadows on his lean face.

John settled back in his chair eyes never leaving the screen before him, he was surprised to see the boy as he was intently studying pictures of himself and his friends. But at the same time it relieved him a great deal, tension had been building among the group as Heero clearly began to get impatient with his progress. John hoped the boy might be able to take the time to remind himself they were all just trying to help him.

WMWMWMW

Heero's cobalt eyes scanned over the numerous pictures covering his wall, they all triggered memories and some even strong emotions. And it all left Heero wondering when he had strayed from the path laid out for him by the men who had trained him, who had essentially created him. His vision fixed in on one picture of himself and the other four pilots, they had become his comrades during the war, had relied upon each other to complete the missions, to end the war. But when had he become so trusting? He had been specifically trained to handle situations on his own, you couldn't rely on others, they could let you down, betray you, cause the mission to fail.

It was not natural to trust only yourself and try and do everything on your own, but that is how they wanted him to be, their Perfect Soldier. He had been taught everything he'd need to survive, failure wasn't an option. Punished severely. Heero had become steadfast in his training, in the vision they had had of him, he would not fail the mission no matter the cost, even if it was his life. There was nothing he couldn't do on his own, no length he wouldn't go. So how had he ended up here?

His eyes continued their slow appraisal, moving from pictures of him with just one pilot, to ones where he wasn't even in it. Most were still shots of them standing at ceremonies or one of Quatre's parties. But there were a few action shots, very candid, times that felt to Heero almost a lifetime ago. His brow drew down, he had been so independent at one time, just when the hell had it all changed? Heero didn't regret the choices he had made, there was no use regretting anything that was in the past, still he would have liked to know where the change had been. Had it involved the first time he had laid eyes on Relena? Had she been the spark which lit the fuse?

Heero spotted an image of Relena among the pictures on the wall, they were dancing together, much as they had been back when the school had been attacked. Heero remembered being coerced into that dance, he preferred to watch Relena from the shadows, avoiding the camera flashes as much as possible. But she had been quick on her feet that night, telling him how could he better protect her out on the crowded dance floor but to be her partner. The media had had a field day, but he had endured it for her smile, which had dazzled the front page of just about every newspaper the next day.

Heero glared at the pictures on the wall, he didn't need any of this, did he? He hadn't back when he was young, he hadn't been able to afford it, was that the difference? Heero knew despite everything that had happened or would happen, he was an independent man, no matter how much he worked with the others to complete a mission, he needed his space. And that was something he wasn't getting at the moment, perhaps that is what ultimately brought on the nightmare. At the moment would he be able to defend himself if the need should arise? The gun resting on the bed near his pillow told him without hesitation that he could. But that was not the only problem he faced, he might have been able to protect himself, but he couldn't survive on his own at the moment.

It was an infuriating conclusion to force himself too, but it was the simple truth. The stronger he became the closer he came to where he had been, the less he had to rely on the machines that had kept him going when he had first woke back on Earth. However human help had had to fall into place, help Heero didn't want to receive but couldn't do without. Or could he? Heero's eyes darted about the room gauging distances silently wondering if he could make the trek, he felt a spark of determination ignite within him. He needed this, needed a sense of independence even if only for a day, he needed to know he could get by on his own.

Shifting on the bed once more Heero moved as close to the head as he could, and swung his legs over the side, his eyes immediately going towards the floor. Before rising once again, his destination wasn't that far, and with the help of the wall for support, Heero was determined to make it on his own. Stepping down off the bed slowly, Heero was at least reassured enough to know his legs would support him to stand. There was no rail along the wall but a narrow ledge at about waist height which Heero hoped would be enough to help him walk. Taking a moment to straighten himself and test the strength in his legs Heero placed his right hand against the ledge and took his first step.

He released a breath he had not even been aware he was holding as he brought his left leg in line with his right, now a full step away from the bed. His goal now one step closer seemed in easy reach, and Heero pushed on, making for the opened door of the bathroom. His movements were by no means fluid and strong as they had once been, but at least he wasn't falling over. It seemed an eternity before Heero reached the doorway, taking a firm hold of the frame he took a moment to catch his breath before stepping inside the black room. Heero knew the sink was close at hand, and near by the light switch, flicking it on Heero found himself staring at his own gaunt face.

Heero stood there for a long time studying the stranger in the mirror, he had not had the opportunity to really look at himself, wouldn't have really been interested if there hadn't been such a great contrast with what he remembered. He knew he looked more like himself than he had several months back, but there were still differences too that would never go away, or at least not for a long time. A thin scar ran the length of his cheek and another could be seen between the thick chunks of hair that spilled into his eyes. He couldn't even remember where they had come from, he knew it had happened when Zechs had brought him out of Freedom's Point, but no matter how he tried there was just no remembering it. Running a hand down his face Heero sighed his body was covered in scars, what was a few more? Most held no significance to him, now or even when they happened.

Turning his back to the mirror Heero leaned heavily against the counter, feeling that familiar shakiness in his limbs. Still he was determined to make this work, it was just another set before him, and whether they thought he was truly ready for it or not, didn't matter in the least. Making use of the bathroom, before he returned to the door way, Heero was confronted by John standing at the far end of the room. The old doctors presences came as no surprise to Heero, he had vaguely registered the knock on the door while he had been in the bathroom.

"Trying to prove something?" John asked with a raised eye brow, the expression on his face strangely hard to read. John had never struck Heero as a truly secretive man, he had always been easy to read, there was no mistaking when he was happy or disappointed. But at the moment Heero couldn't decide what John was thinking.

Choosing not to reply to the comment Heero instead focused his attention of making it back to his bed, there was more of a burden now to do it without faltering what with John watching him. The distance seemed so much further this time than when he had left his bed, but he pressed on supporting himself on the wall with each step. He was grateful to the fact that John did not feel the need to step out and help him but remain where he was just inside the room. When finally he did make it back to the edge of his bed Heero took a moment to catch his breath before hoisting himself up.

John stepped deeper into the room then the expression on his face relaxing though it still didn't tell Heero very much of what the doctor was thinking. "Care to tell me what happened?" Heero simply shook his head settling back on the bed feeling very tired but more than a little satisfied, he had proven to himself that he wasn't completely helpless. "I know you had a nightmare," John stated then.

_How could he know?_ Heero wondered silently continuing to study the doctor without any real expression.

"I understand from Sally that nightmares are common for you, that you'll even fight sleep to avoid them. Considering the life you've led this is hardly surprising," he took a slow seat on the edge of the bed.

"It's not just me," Heero corrected, they all dealt with their own demons.

"No, I know that," John smiled gently, "But up until now you haven't had any...why?"

Heero eyed John for a moment wondering silently if there was any chance the old doctor would just let the matter drop. "Too many drugs..." he responded finally knowing that to be the simplest answer, and also that John wasn't likely to just let the silence be.

John blinked in clear surprise, obviously having not expected an answer, then that same smile returned to his face, kinder than Heero ever remembered seeing it still looked strange to him. "Ahh..." he breathed, "Do you ever talk about them?"

"They're not really worth repeating," Heero told him quickly, he couldn't think of a time where he had ever related what he saw in his nightmares. He didn't want to put that burden on anyone's shoulders, least of all dwell upon them himself.

"I doubt I have to say this, but I will anyways. Sometimes talking about them makes it easier to deal with," it was an open invitation.

Heero just shook his head, he wasn't about to impart that sort of horror on John, "They're nothing now," perhaps that wasn't entirely true. But he didn't wake screaming from them, and a night without them could at times be more frightening than dealing. It left him wondering what he had done with himself the night before to avoid them.

"This was something..." John commented, ever observant and determined.

Reaching for the cup of water near to him Heero took the time to consider what if anything he wanted to tell John. Nothing of the nightmare of course, but some answer that might lead this conversation to an end, "I haven't seen this one since I was a child," he decided upon finally.

"Did that make it worse?" the old doctor asked then, seeming to think he was making progress.

"No," Heero returned taking another slow sip of water, what had made it worse was that he was an adult now, supposed to be completely capable of taking care of himself, and he couldn't do that.

"So then what's got you so restless?"

The Japanese man suppressed the urge to sigh heavily and locked eyes with John, now seeing deep into the old man's face, there was concern in his eyes he truly wanted to try and help in whatever way he could. "I need a day to myself," Heero almost said the words before he realised it, but in the back of his mind he knew right away that's exactly what he was searching for. For now just one day where he could prove to himself he could be independent. "One day, no one else here," he clarified.

Heero wasn't at all sure how he expected John to take that, not that it mattered to him it wasn't a request after all, in his mind there was no other option. John's expression remained very open as he considered Heero's words, "What about food?" he asked managing to catch Heero almost completely by surprise. The former pilot had been sure he was heading towards a battle, but that one question alone seemed to say John was seriously considering.

"Military rations," Heero answered as soon as his brain kicked into gear again. They wouldn't require any preparations, and he had never really minded eating them.

John slowly nodded his head too that, "That would definitely be possible," he turned thoughtful for a moment, "But when would you do this?" That was something Heero hadn't even begun considering yet, he had been convinced it would have just been a fight to get anyone to see this from his point of view. "Things are getting better between you and the others but it'd be best to choose a day where most if not all are already going to be busy. That way we can avoid stepping on any sensitive feelings," John reasoned.

And Heero already knew the best day, "August 19."

"The Sank Kingdoms birthday," John mused allowed, "That would work rather well I think."

Heero felt stunned as he lay there staring at the old doctor, he hadn't been willing to let go of this and much to his surprise John hadn't been planning on forcing the issue.

"I can understand how you feel, and I just want you to make me a promise," his expression and tone suddenly becoming very serious. Heero didn't ask, he just watched waiting, "You have the call button, I just want to know that you'll use it if you need help for anything. Promise me that and I'll arrange everything else."

It was a simple enough promise to make, though he swore to himself he wouldn't need it, Heero nodded his head "I will."

Thanks for Reading!

**A Day of Truths**:

John stepped out of his car, it was 9:00 am on the 20th as promised he had given Heero his one day to himself, and he was eager to find out how it had went for the former pilot. John felt sure that Heero would soon be making steps in leaps and bounds, and he wondered if it was even necessary for him to come in as often as he did. Perhaps not, but John wanted to keep and eye on the boy, he wouldn't deny to anyone that he had become attached to him over the months that he had cared for him. This was one patient John didn't intend to loose touch with.

Walking inside the agency John heard his cell phone go off in his pocket, reaching for it as he made his way to the pilots' wing of the building, John flipped it open, "Hello."

"Morning John, its Duo."

"Duo, good morning how're Hilde and Anaya?" he asked cheerfully.

"There both fine," the former pilot responded back, his voice holding a serious note to it, and John knew there was something important that Duo had to say.

"What's the matter?"

"We waited too long," Duo answered with a sigh, "Heero found the video file last night."

John stopped in his tracks, "What?" he asked in surprise, having heard Duo perfectly but for some reason feeling like what the former pilot said hadn't sunk in.

"Heero knows about the brand," Duo clarified, "I just wanted you to know before you went in to see him, I doubt he'll be in a good mood."

The old doctor sighed, "I wish we had been able to tell him about it…" the last thing John had wanted was for the boy to discover it like this, and it hadn't even occurred to him that Heero might have spent his day trying to find the file again. "Oh well it can't be helped now, thanks for the warning Duo, I'll deal with it." Hanging up the phone and slipping it back into his pocket John walked with a new determination towards Heero's room intent on quickly finding out how the boy had taken the news.

In under five minutes John was standing outside Heero's door knocking on it, his right hand slipping the card key through the reader. The door slid opened and the first thing John noticed was Heero wasn't in his bed. Making a brief visual sweep of the room John couldn't see Heero at all, but what he did notice was blood, droplets on the floor, and large smears of it on the counter and drawers. Supplies lay scattered around in a general mess, which concerned John more than a little. "Heero?" he called the boy's name stepping deeper into the room, knowing that Heero had to be in the bathroom.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	51. A Day of Truths

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: I know I promised a double chapter but I thought you'd all forgive me if I put a chapter out earlier than expected. At least I hope you will (smiles) there will be a double chapter soon, hopefully 52 and 53. I really found it surprising how many of you thought Heero had cut the brand off himself, I hadn't been expecting that at all (laughs) well now you can see for yourself what happened! Enjoy!

Thanks to **Pious Knight **and **morgansgirl **all your work so far has been greatly appreciated!

**Morrighan of Crimson and Sable**: Thanks so much for the review! It's true though Heero and blood are never far apart either (laughs) poor Heero, I'm so hard on him! Thanks again!

**D3**: Thank you! I hope you like this chapter too, sorry it couldn't be a double!

**IchikoKitsuneKoumori**: He'll be completely independent soon now, thanks so much for the review! No Heero didn't cut the brand off, it's a little big for that, but read and you'll soon see what he did do! Thanks again!

**Raizard333**: Ouch! Cutting out the brand, that'd be really painful! He definitely doesn't want any association with the Inner Circle, but unfortunately he has one and it's going to take a lot of work to get him to accept it. I actually hadn't been expecting Heero to request the day to himself so when it happened I ran into a little trouble wondering if he'd be able to walk on his own. And because of that the date of the Sank Kingdoms birthday changed like three times until I thought enough time had passed so that Heero might actually be able to do this. Thanks so much for the review!

**coldsunshin**: Sorry! I'm glad you're still enjoying it! I don't think the next preview will be all that shocking. Thanks so much for the review!

**Lauren**: Thank you! I hope you continue to enjoy!

**kibus**: (glomps) Thank so much! I've been writing like a crazy woman (laughs) I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Mini Nicha**: Thank you! I hope I didn't make you wait too long! Thanks for the review!

**L.A.UNE**: Thank you for reviewing! I hope you like this chapter!

**ghostreader**: Thank you! I hope it doesn't disappoint!

**Auza-Isaka-Winner**: Thank you everyone! Hope Auza's better now! And I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

**Wufei-the-back-side-slayer**: Thanks so much for the review! I'd never dream of killing Heero, at least not in this story (laughs) Thanks again! There's so much more to come!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing

**A Day of Truths**

Heero woke early on the 19th for the very briefest second unsure why this day felt special to him, but as the sleep faded from his mind Heero remembered it all. He was on his own today. No one would be coming in today to check on him or work with him, and definitely not to push food into him. Of course there was food in the room for him, and for some reason knowing it was entirely his choice whether to eat or not made it more appealing. Shifting on the bed as he continued to wake Heero bent his legs slowly, the limbs finally responding as quickly as they used to. He had worked hard over the last two days in preparation for this day trying to regain the strength in his legs even if it was just a little.

He thought he had made some progress, he felt more confident in his legs' ability to support him, and although he tired quickly he definitely felt less threatened by falling. Heero was certainly confident that he could make it through today without any problems. Pushing himself up Heero pulled a hand through his already messed hair, his cobalt eyes flashing over the pictures on the far wall. Ash had taken his time yesterday adding more pictures, and as promised Quatre had brought a lot and Ash had been hard pressed to find room for all of them. As it was the wall was all but full, and Heero was pretty sure he saw Ash flipping through an album that he had not been able to take anything from.

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed Heero sighed, he had the whole day to himself, exactly what he wanted, but what was he to do with all this time? On the table was his laptop. He hadn't had a great deal of time to work with it, perhaps he could find something to occupy his time. As he twisted to pull it closer to him, shifting back onto the bed as he did, Heero recalled something he had forgotten in all that had happened since Leon had entered and his recovery had really started. Opening the laptop Heero waited almost impatiently for it to start up so he could begin his search for that file that had been so heavily encrypted. Nothing was going to interrupt him this time.

WMWMWMW

Relena eyed her reflection in the mirror as the finishing touches were being put to her hair. Blue flowers that brought out the color of her eyes were being woven into the carefully placed curls. She looked every inch the princess she was in her silvery blue ball gown, but today of all days she would have preferred to wear anything else, to be at the side of the man she loved. Not attending such formal events. Glancing beyond her own expressionless face Relena focused in on one of her escorts for the night, Trowa leaned easily against the far wall watching her silently. She hardly thought of them as bodyguards, the term seemed too distant and unfeeling. They were as much there to enjoy themselves as she. Though she had a hell of a time convincing them of that, but she did manage to drag them all out onto the dance floor, and with them near by a comfortable conversation was never out of reach.

Turning away from the mirror Relena offered Hillary a warm smile as she came to her feet, "Thank you," she spoke softly, "It looks wonderful as always." That brought a strong blush to the older woman's face, Hillary had been the one to do Relena's hair and often makeup too for most formal occasion since everything settled down after the war. She was a wonderful woman, it was like she read Relena's moods the instant she stepped into a room. Easily able to be open and cheerful or reserved and quiet.

Taking hold of the flowing material of her dress, Relena crossed the room to where Trowa remained standing, silently watching. The smile on her face grew as she approached, but Relena wished it wasn't a conscious effort. She wanting relations to be natural between them again, she had once felt so close to Trowa like another brother she could pour her heart out to. He had been such a welcomed support during all the hard times, why had she hurt him so much? "What do you think?" she asked her voice betraying nothing of her dark thoughts as she slowly spun for him.

The tiniest hint of a smile, just a slight curve to the edges of his lips was the sight Relena was greeted with when she stopped to face him again. "I think we'll need to take a picture for him," he breathed in soft tones, "It's been a long time since he's seen you like this." They were always careful when discussing Heero where anyone might hear, though their quiet words were not likely to carry to Hillary's ears. It amazed Relena just how easily Trowa was able to speak about Heero, as though nothing had happened between them, as though Relena herself had not poured vinegar into a very tender wound. But was it real? Or was she witnessing one of his masks?

"Are you ready?" she asked smiling up at him, and offering her hand which he took.

"I've been ready for hours," he commented slipping her hand beneath his arm.

Relena leaned in as they walked from her room, "But you don't mind waiting."

"I get paid by the hour," he smirked.

Sighing Relena looked up at him intently, "Is there anyway I can spend the whole evening with you?" He glanced down at her rather surprised, "I don't feel like dealing with the politicians today," Relena knew they'd be there, of course they always were but they never gave her a moments peace. No time was inappropriate to speak about political matter, and on most occasions Relena could easily put up with it, but today she just didn't think she could do it.

"You don't think people will think that odd?" Trowa asked back.

"I pay you by the hour, I don't really care what people think," she laughed hugging his arm a little tighter as he lead her down to the main hall of her home where Wufei would be waiting.

"What do you think Heero would do if he were here?" he inquired looking thoughtful as though he were himself trying to consider it.

Relena couldn't even begin to imagine, they had worked so hard to keep the relationship private that being out in public had always kept them distant. Even more distant than she felt she had to be with the other pilots. But if Heero were to escort her today she supposed the first thing that would happen is total shock, perhaps she'd manage a few moments of silence in the ballroom with him. "That would certainly be great, I wonder if there'll ever be a time when I can attend a ball with him," she wondered suddenly very seriously if it would ever happen. She hadn't thought about it at all until now, but would Heero's name ever be cleared? Would the world ever know that he had helped save them not destroy them?

"I'm sure it'll happen sometime," Trowa nodded, though there was no way to say when it would happen.

"I hope so, he deserves to have his name cleared," but it was all a matter of one step at a time, they couldn't rush any of this.

WMWMWMW

Relena laughed, far more easily than she felt should have been possible, she stood among a group of men and women, one of the youngest there, as was the norm for her. Through the corner of one eye Relena caught sight of Trowa standing close by, his green eyes scanning the room in a relaxed manner. They had been at the ball for several hours already, and Relena was beginning to feel the tedious drag of time. The day was going just as she had predicted, no matter where she went if she stopped moving for more than five minutes she'd be surrounded and a sometimes heated debate would spring up. What made her almost want to laugh hysterically was she could remain totally silent during most of these discussions and not be pressured for her opinion. They could be having these discussions without her but they always seemed to gravitate towards her.

Trowa and Wufei had already each saved her once, which was by no means unusual for a social event such as this, but as Trowa had said earlier she really didn't want to draw unnecessary attention. "Excuse me," a smooth masculine voice spoke up from among the throng of people surrounding Relena. It was a voice immediately recognisable to her, and clearly to the men and women around her as well. Their conversations halted and they parted instantly to allow Quatre to step among them.

He offered Relena a genuine understanding smile, before casting an apologetic look on the others standing around, "I hope you'll excuse me, but I must ask the princess for a dance." His smile was disarming as he extended his hand to her, which Relena gladly took a smile blooming on her own features as she was lead out onto the dance floor. "You know there's an easy way to avoid that," he told her softly pulling her close as he began to lead her about the polished floor. "There's no shortage of men willing to dance with you, you could always remain out here for the rest of the night."

"Yes it's true," Relena agreed with a quiet laugh, "But many of those men are hoping for more than just a dance, and I'd rather not give them false hopes."

"Fair enough," he smiled brightly at her before suddenly leaning in close to whisper into her ear, "Are you worried about Heero?"

Relena blinked suddenly taken by surprise at the question, but her expression softened seconds later, "I'm trying not to be, I know how much he needed this…"

"But you'd rather be with him, than here," Quatre offered.

"Always," she laughed softly, from the moment she had first met him Relena felt sure she had wanted to be with him.

Quatre pouted a little at that, "You know, you could have said, 'Yes I like being with Heero, but next to him Quatre you're just as nice.' That wouldn't have been a bad thing," he spun her suddenly and Relena couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm sorry, you're right. You are after all the trophy husband, I shouldn't make you feel less wanted," she hugged Quatre tightly as the dance slowly came to a close, but neither of them made to step off the dance floor.

"Pardon my interruption," a voice broke through the brief silence surrounding them and Relena tore her eyes from Quatre's glancing behind her to see who was there. "But I must steal the princess for the next," Ash bowed rather formally, much as he had the first time she had met him. Relena blinked taken by surprise not just at the sight of Ash looking very handsome in his tuxedo but that it felt like a life time ago since she had been kidnapped from her mountain home.

"Ash you look--"

"It's a one time thing I swear!" he said suddenly tugging at his already loosened tie, for a brief second looking incredibly uncomfortable. His hazel eyes flickered around the room coming to land on something behind Relena, "Now what Trowa and Wufei are wearing looks reasonable."

"You want to become her bodyguard?" Quatre asked with a laugh his own gaze focused on the two pilots mentioned.

"Just long enough to get my hands on one of those suits," Ash laughed but sobered quickly as the music for the next song began, "But seriously," he straightened slightly offering his hand to Relena in a formal looking way, "Shall we?"

Relena looked to Quatre who smiled releasing her hand to Ash and stepped back off the floor walking in the direction of Trowa and Wufei. Relena hardly heard the music as Ash led her about the floor, his movements fluid and confident, it surprised Relena and despite herself she laughed. "Can you tell me something?"

"Probably," Ash responded with a wink.

"Where is it that all you soldiers learned how to dance? I wouldn't have thought it to be a requirement for war."

"All?" he asked in return, spinning her briefly before pulling her back in. A void had formed around them on the dance floor as men and women watched.

Relena subtly pulled in a little closer, moving to whisper into Ash's ear, "Heero surprised me years back, he knows how to dance." She could still remember the first dance they had ever shared, it had been such an odd time in her life, it almost felt like a dream, a bazaar twisted dream. But a part of her had enjoyed it as much as any fantasy a girl's imagination could make up.

"Heero!" Ash whispered back in total shock, "I did not know that..." it sounded as though he were musing more to himself an evil smirk touching his lips.

"You're planning on using this against him aren't you?" she laughed a little as the dance continued for the first time that night actually enjoying herself in Ash's arms.

"Who can say," he smiled evilly pulling her a little closer, "To answer your question, I met Dante during the war, and shortly after he thought it might be amusing to bring a little culture into my life."

"And you went along with it?" as natural as this all seemed for Ash Relena wondered if he had been an eager student, it seemed hard to believe.

Ash laughed then as the song finally drew to a close, "To be honest I wasn't really aware of what he was getting me into, and once I did there was no backing out." He shook his head leading Relena away from the applauding audience they had acquired, "Dante has dirt on me he's not afraid to flaunt."

"Such as?" this had become incredibly interesting.

"You don't actually think I'd hand that information over to you, do you?" he sounded incredulous.

"Well it was worth a shot asking," she continued to smile as she saw her brother and the two pilots standing before her.

"I spoke with your bodyguards earlier, I thought it might be a nice idea to slip out of here and catch the fireworks display," Ash finally released her arm, "What do you think?"

Relena didn't have to think about the question for long the thought of spending the evening with her close friends and not all these political figures was simply too tempting. "That sounds like a great idea," she agreed.

"We have a change of clothes for you here, for whenever you're ready to leave," Trowa told her softly, it didn't surprise her that they had been planning this from the beginning.

"Will you be coming Quatre?" she asked hoping he'd be able to make it, she wanted them all there, or at least as many as possible. She wondered if Heero would be able to see them from his room whether he'd even care if he could.

"I think I'll be able to slip away," he confirmed with a nod.

"What time do they start?" she asked.

"We still have lots of time," Ash assured, "They aren't scheduled to go off until nine."

"But there's other attractions down at the waterfront," Relena suggested with a hopeful smile, she couldn't believe how much she wanted to be away from here now that it had been brought to her attention.

WMWMWMW

Heero leaned forward on the bed resting his arms at his side for the moment, it had taken him most of the day to crack the code. It had surprised him when he discovered that the file was not where he had found it last time, it had been moved and security tightened at the same time. Still the code reminded him of Duo's work, and he wondered why it required such measures. He wasn't interested in asking his friend about it, that would have spoiled the fun of cracking the code and discovering for himself what required such measures. Now looking at the video file Heero could see what had triggered his search program over a month ago. He could make out the letters of his name mixed within a garbled bunch of symbols and numbers.

With his curiosity peeked Heero opened the video file so it filled the screen, at first he could see nothing but grainy pixels, but after a couple of seconds the image came into focus and Heero felt his mind freeze. His body didn't know how to react to what he was seeing, it had never been faced with this situation before, and so it simply shut down. Almost mechanically Heero's right arm reached across his body to press against the material covering his left shoulder blade. His fingers trailed along the hard ridges of the scar he had not known existed. Heero's arm dropped, a wave of disgust washing over him as his eyes—unable to leave the screen—continued to watch the creation of his brand.

He had escaped them, he had faked the mark, remaining separate from them. It had been necessary to make them believe, but for himself Heero had had to remain free, he had to be able to leave them behind. That was what he had told himself thousands of times, that one day he would be able to lay this mask aside and go back to the friends he had left. What did this mean, to now see this? That he had been branded by the Inner Circle while he was trapped within his own memories. He had not left them behind, had not escaped their ranks, he was forever marked by them.

Heero felt nauseas at the thought, as overwhelming emotions clouded his eyes and stole away coherent thoughts. He lost track of the amount of time he remained sitting there eyes remaining fixed on the screen as he watched the careful creation of the brand over a series of weeks. Still feeling as though he were in a daze, a tornado of emotions he didn't know how to contain suddenly arose. Heero shifted off his bed making his slow way to the bathroom. Once inside his hand reached automatically for the light, and he found himself staring at his own reflection in the mirror. It was a face he recognised though the expression was unknown to him. He didn't know what to think in that moment as he slipped the shirt from his lean body and turned to look over his shoulder at the image forever burned into his skin.

It stood out in stark relief against his skin, scarred as it might have been from training and the war. This brand stood out, there was no mistaking it, and Heero knew there was no chance it would ever fade. Once more his right arm reached across to finger at the edges he could reach as he glared into the mirror unable to believe. The others had known about it, there was no way they would not have been able to discover it. The question was, when had they found it? Had they been hiding this from him for months? He had received his answer for why the file had been so heavily guarded, the pilots had not wanted to risk just anyone finding it, but had they purposely hidden it from him? They had moved it since the last time he had found it…

Heero felt a familiar, and in this moment, more than welcomed emotion swell up within him. His fiery anger burned away the fog that clouded his thoughts, swallowing up the emotions he could not name, and continued to grow. They had hidden this from him, for months they had known and decided not to tell him, they had watched it be done to him, had hidden that fact too. What did they think he was a child unable to handle the truth? Heero's thoughts only added fuel to a fire which was already out of control.

His breathing became ragged as he tried to fight against the rising wave of rage, but there was no riding it out, he could only stare in the face of his pure unbridled anger and let it drown him. His eyes narrowed sharply as his body coiled, Heero struck without hesitation his body twisting towards the mirror as his right fist shot out to strike. Half the mirror shattered on impact, shards falling upon the countertop and floor, blood flowed from Heero's hand, but he didn't acknowledge it nor the pain that came with, all he could feel right now was rage and a strong sense of betrayal.

WMWMWMW

John stepped out of his car, it was 9:00 am on the 20th as promised he had given Heero his one day to himself, and he was eager to find out how it had went for the former pilot. John felt sure that Heero would soon be making steps in leaps and bounds, and he wondered if it was even necessary for him to come in as often as he did. Perhaps not, but John wanted to keep and eye on the boy, he wouldn't deny to anyone that he had become attached to him over the months that he had cared for him. This was one patient John didn't intend to loose touch with.

Walking inside the agency John heard his cell phone go off in his pocket, reaching for it as he made his way to the pilots' wing of the building, John flipped it open, "Hello."

"Morning John, its Duo."

"Duo, good morning how're Hilde and Anaya?" he asked cheerfully.

"There both fine," the former pilot responded back, his voice holding a serious note to it, and John knew there was something important that Duo had to say.

"What's the matter?"

"We waited too long," Duo answered with a sigh, "Heero found the video file last night."

John stopped in his tracks, "What?" he asked in surprise, having heard Duo perfectly but for some reason feeling like what the former pilot said hadn't sunk in.

"Heero knows about the brand," Duo clarified, "I just wanted you to know before you went in to see him. I doubt he'll be in a good mood."

The old doctor sighed, "I wish we had been able to tell him about it…" the last thing John had wanted was for the boy to discover it like this, and it hadn't even occurred to him that Heero might have spent his day trying to find the file again. "Oh well it can't be helped now, thanks for the warning Duo, I'll deal with it." Hanging up the phone and slipping it back into his pocket John walked with a new determination towards Heero's room intent on quickly finding out how the boy had taken the news.

In under five minutes John was standing outside Heero's door knocking on it his right hand slipping the card key through the reader. The door slid opened and the first thing John noticed was Heero wasn't in his bed. Making a brief visual sweep of the room John couldn't see Heero at all, but what he did notice was blood, droplets on the floor, and large smears of it on the counter and drawers. Supplies lay scattered around in a general mess, which concerned John more than a little. "Heero?" he called the boy's name stepping deeper into the room, knowing that Heero had to be in the bathroom.

Stepping around the bed, John glanced into the bathroom for the first time seeing Heero standing shirtless before the broken mirror. He was twisted so he was staring at the brand on his shoulder blade, his right hand bloody and roughly bandaged, fingering it as though he had been doing it for hours. Heero's face was a dark glare fixed firmly on the mirror, his unruly hair blocked the boy's eyes almost entirely from view. "Heero," John spoke the boy's name again not sure what to expect but for the moment just wanting to get his attention.

"How long…" the boy's voice was harsh, and he didn't look away from the mirror, "How long have you known?"

"Why don't you come out of there," John said noticing the shards of glass on the floor, he wanted to speak to Heero directly to better see the boy's face. Heero's head turned a little then and the look in those eyes caused John to shiver, and he sighed, "I've known about the brand since shortly after I met you." He motioned for Heero to come to him, "But we didn't find that file until June."

"Why did you hide this from me!" he demanded then turning to fully face John his hands clenching into fist, John could see fresh blood seep through the gauze wrapped about Heero's right hand.

"I didn't think it was something you needed to be dealing with at that time," those were near the exact words he had spoken to the pilots, he had been confident in his decision then, and he wanted to remain so now. He could see the anger in Heero's cobalt eyes could understand at least in the simplest way where it came from, but those other dark emotions swirling just on the edges eluded John's understanding.

"That was not your choice to make!" he growled stepping out of the bathroom and moving around John obviously trying to keep as much of a distance between them as the room would allow. His shoulders were stiff and his movement's jerky and tired looking, he hung close to the wall using the small ledge for support. John wondered if the boy had got any sleep that night, he doubted it seriously not with how agitated Heero was.

John sighed, "It's been done Heero, at the time Duo found the video, I felt it was best to keep it from you, I asked him to secure it so you wouldn't find it." He took a careful step towards Heero as the boy sat himself down on his bed, "I don't want you to be angry at the others, I made the choice and I stand by it."

Heero appeared to be struggling very hard with this information, John wished he could understand exactly what the boy was feeling, although he doubted the knowledge could actually help him. He couldn't imagine what it would feel like to watch something being done to you after the fact, especially not something as clearly painful as this branding. John closed the distance a little more, the Japanese boy's face had become a stony mask, it was clear he was not about to externalise his anger. John wished he would, not in the way he had earlier by breaking the mirror, that wouldn't solve anything. "Can I see your hand?" John asked not reaching out to take it, partly afraid Heero might lash out in anger, and a little more concerned that the boy would simply bury everything that had happened and try to forget it.

"Its fine," Heero said pulling away moving further onto his bed and slamming the screen of his laptop closed.

"You're not," John stated. He debated what to say next, did he actually want to try and push it? "Are you just going to try and pretend like the brand doesn't exist?" he asked forcing a note of firmness into his voice trying to spark the fuse.

"You chose to keep it from me!" Heero ground out still managing to keep a firm hold of whatever he was feeling, "I'll deal with it on my own!" He turned away from John his head dropping a little as he pulled his left hand through his hair. It was clear to John he was still struggling very hard with this, and the old doctor was at a loss for what to do.

Placing his hand on the bed, John found himself holding his breath to see what the boy's reaction would be. Heero glanced up but that was all, there was nothing in his eyes now everything he had been feeling was blocked behind those walls of ice. John sighed walking around the bed to the counter on the other side and began trying to clean up a little of the mess that Heero had inadvertently made. Several moments passed before John glanced over his shoulder to see what Heero was doing, he half hoped the boy would be asleep, but doubted it would be that easy. No surprise Heero was sitting on the bed as he had been before John turned his back, his head bent slightly as though he were still in deep thought.

"Can I give you something to help you sleep?" he asked continuing to watch for a reaction.

Heero didn't react for a time, perhaps considering the question, perhaps not evening hearing it. Slowly he began to unwrap the bloody gauze from his hand still not looking up at John, "I don't want anything."

The old doctor nodded mutely, and quietly began gathering some supplies, he was not sure in the least if Heero would allow him to take a look at his hand, but he was going to try. The boy sounded more normal, that didn't relieve John at all, in fact it only increased his concern, however for the moment he thought it might be best to let Heero deal with this in his own way. He only hoped when the boy was ready he'd let them help him as best they could. John seated himself carefully in front of Heero, the boy's head came up a little, but he said nothing.

"Relena's going to want to come in and see you," John commented taking a slow hold of Heero's bloodied hand.

"That's fine," Heero answered not pulling his hand away.

John breathed a silently sigh of relief, and pulled away the last of the gauze, "And the others?" he asked curious to see what Heero's response would be, and a little concerned. Relations between them had been relaxing slowly but surely, John hated to think a decision he had made would make this harder for them.

"Don't let them avoid me," Heero responded firmly, but his voice was still hollow sounding since the anger had left him. John knew none of it was really gone. Heero might want to pretend that nothing had happened, that he had over come the shock and anger but John knew that just wasn't possible.

"This is going to need stitches," he slowly cleaned away the blood wincing himself knowing how much this would hurt, but Heero gave no reaction. John reached for the table pulling it across Heero's bed so it sat between them, and he placed the boy's hand on it. John worked in silence casting brief glances at Heero's face trying to decide what to do about this. At the moment Heero was working very hard to pretend like nothing had happened, how long would he be able to keep it up?

Thanks for Reading!

**Breathe the Free Air**:

He pulled her in for a kiss, slow and gentle and he could feel her left hand find its way onto his leg, while her right tangled itself in his already messy hair. Relena parted the kiss remaining very close to him, "I never imagined I'd ever find something I could tease you about." Heero chose not to respond to that but closed that small distance between them and pressed his mouth to hers firmly he wanted more. And Relena responded her hand leaving his leg to meet in his hair where her right was still running. Pulling her closer Heero felt one of Relena's hands stray to his back, unconsciously touching his left shoulder blade.

Heero fought the urge to stiffen and push Relena away, he didn't want to hurt her, but he had to break the contact, had to remove her hand. Pulling away he was met with Relena's pouting face, before he turned to slide off the bed. "Something wrong?" she asked following him.

"Leg cramped," he lied, pressing his hand to his right leg a he walked a little not looking at her. He couldn't let this get to him, it was a weakness, he didn't have any weaknesses.

"Want me to massage it for you?" she asked suggestively taking hold of his wrist, and pulling him gently too her.

Heero felt his lips turn up a fraction at that, and forced his eyes to look up at her, "I'm alright," he assured her. Relena just pouted at him for an instant before her expression blossomed into a smile.

"I heard from Ash that he took you up to the roof today," Relena commented coming to her feet , "That must have been nice."

Heero shrugged his right shoulder and lowered himself onto the couch near the far end of his room. He had enjoyed that brief time out on the roof, but couldn't see why he needed to voice it. Heero leaned back hard against the couch dark eyes watching Relena as she knelt down in front of him crystal blue eyes staring deeply into his. "You won't even admit it to me?" she asked with a tiny pout her long lashes batting at him, but he could see she was trying very hard not to laugh.

"What is it you want to hear?" he asked his right hand reaching out to play with her hair. As much as he enjoyed, perhaps that wasn't even the right way to look at all these little moments where he had gained something back. There was a sense of pride at having made it back, and perhaps relief, but could he really say he enjoyed it? That he took pleasure in things that he hadn't been able to do a few months before? It seemed to him that these 'moments' really just showcased how far he had fallen.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	52. Breathe the Free Air

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: I'm sorry for the delay! This is the longest it's ever gone, and I don't intend to let it go this long again. Unfortunately however it's not always in my control! I want to thank all of you for being so patient, and I promise we'll be doing lots of double chapters for a while now!

My thanks to morgansgirl and Pious Knight (I'm sorry I couldn't wait for you!)

**theevilashleyness**: Thank you so much for the reviews! And I'm sorry these chapters were so late!

**Morrighan of Crimson and Sable**: thanks for both reviews! I hope you enjoy the 1xR moment and I'm give an extra special preview in the next chapter for another 1xR moment. I hope you enjoy and thanks again!

**Nini Nicka**: I'm so sorry it's late! (cries) thanks so much for the review! I hope you enjoy!

**D3**: Thanks so much! I can't apologise enough for the delay!

**Lauren**: Thanks for the review! I'm sorry these chapters were so late! I hope you enjoy them!

**IchikoKitsuneKoumori**: but holding it in is far more angsty (smiles) thanks for the review! I hope you enjoy these chapters and I'm sorry it was so late!

**Raizard333**: Sorry! Thanks for the review! Heero tries not to be mad at them, but it's going to take him a long time to accept it as a part of him. Thanks again!

**coldsunshin**: Thanks so much! I hope you enjoy these two chapters, I'm sorry for the delay.

**jellybeen-kitty**: Thank you! I'm sorry!

**Wufei-the-back-side-slayer**: heh (smiles) you can never have too much baggage. Thank you so much! I really appreciate the support! Alright as for Heero, it's not too much longer before he's basically back to 100. As for the Inner Circle….they'll be taken care of once Heero's back on his feet (Smiles) thanks again! And I'm sorry the chapters were so late!

**kirbus**: Thanks for the review! I'm sorry it was so late, I hope you enjoy the double chapter!

**ghostreader**: Thanks so much! I'm sorry for the horrible delay!

**Cherryheart**: Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm glad you've enjoyed the story so much up to now! I hope you continue to enjoy, and I'd like to apologise for the delay.

**Tarijima**: (smiles) Thank you very much! I've really enjoyed working on this story, it's been in the works for five years now and counting. (laughs) it would be nice to own Gundam Wing…oh well (smiles) Thanks again! And I'm sorry for the delay!

**Reviewer**: I'm sorry you feel that way, if I could avoid these delays altogether believe me I would, but my editors have lives too, and sometimes those get in the way. I can't fault them for that. I'm really sorry these chapters took so long, but I hope you enjoy them, and I'm going to do my best to avoid a delay as long as this one!

**L.A.UNE**: Thanks so much! I'm sorry it took so long!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing.

**Breathe the Free Air**

Heero breathed hard while fighting against the pain in his chest as he pushed his legs out, the weights working against them rising on their cords to his right. It had been four days since Heero had discovered the brand of the Inner Circle on his back, and he had done everything he could during that time to keep himself from thinking about it. The former pilot pushed harder the muscles in his legs cording up as he raised the padded bar that ran across them. Trowa had taken him down to the exercise room, but with his right hand bandaged as it was Heero had opted out of the pool in favour of strength training. Trowa worked on another machine close by, his focus appearing entirely on what he was doing, but Heero had caught the brief glances every now and then.

Relena and the pilots had come to him during this time, and nothing had been said about the video file. Heero wouldn't have even been sure they knew about it, had there not been so many awkward silences. He was grateful though that none of them felt the need to apologise, as angry as he was at being left in the dark, he didn't want to deal with any more verbal apologies. Struggling to keep going Heero tried to focus on the pain, allowing it to burn through him, eat away at his anger and stop his wandering mind. He was continuing the steady fight to get back on his feet and for the first time in months he actually felt like he could see his goal.

"Take a break," Trowa's voice cut into Heero's thoughts suddenly.

Heero looked up slowly lowering his legs back to the resting position, sweat dripped down his face and his breathing was ragged from the effort he had been putting out. He hadn't really been aware of how hard he had been pushing himself. Brought back to the present Heero winced with each breath shifting in the seat to try and ease the pain in his ribs. Trowa passed him a water bottle without a word, and he drank from it finding the ice cold water eased a little of the pain. The door at the far end of the room opened and Heero looked up watching Ash walk into the room despite himself the former pilot couldn't help but wonder if Ash knew anything about what had happened, had he known before Heero found out?

His right hand clenched in response to his darkening thoughts, the pain was nothing when compared to the burn of his ribs but every little bit helped to burn off the anger. "Let's call it a day Heero," Trowa said suddenly, again snapping Heero out of his thoughts.

The former pilot looked up at his friend seeing nothing in that one visible emerald eye to say what Trowa was thinking. Heero didn't doubt Trowa had noticed something of his rising anger, his quiet friend could at times be as perceptive as Quatre. "John told me I'd find you down here," Ash said as he came to a stop in front of Heero, his expression as always relaxed.

"Just finishing," Trowa commented as he reached for a white towel lying on a bench and passed it over to Heero.

"Great! I was hoping I could get one last game of chess in before I have to leave," Ash sounded as cheerful as ever, and Heero pulled the towel away from his face in surprise, looking up at his friend. "Yeah sorry I didn't say anything sooner, Dante didn't plan to leave for a few days, but there's some business that needs attending to so…" he trialed off with a shrug.

Heero shifted to the edge of the machine, and Trowa immediately offered his arm which the Japanese man took pulling himself to his feet on shaky legs. He had walked down here with help from Trowa, using his friend for support. As much as he'd like to make it back to his room on his own, his legs usually weren't up to the task; much as they were today. But Heero was feeling particularly stubborn today, he didn't really want to have people around him, still being alone gave his mind too much time to wander. Though his muscles were shaky Heero stepped away from Trowa releasing his friend's arm as he made to walk towards the door.

Ash stepped up beside Heero, walking alongside but keeping a slight distance between them knowing that Heero wanted to make it as far as he could without anyone's help. "When are you leaving?" Heero asked his eyes darting briefly to look at Ash's face.

"The shuttle's set to take off this evening, so I've got time," Ash told him as they exited the large room, Heero hung close to the wall, his right hand pressed to it for support.

It really wasn't that far to go to make it to his room, just down the hall to the elevator and about an equal distance to the one he was traveling now to make it to his room. Heero was determined to do it, he couldn't walk as fast as he wanted to, but at least he was on his own, Ash and Trowa could hover as much as they wanted. They walked in silence for a time Heero could feel the eyes of his friends burning holes into his back as they intently followed him. He could also feel a tension in the air around him, whether that was caused by him or them he didn't know, or really cared for that matter.

Heero tried his best to keep his mind occupied, he didn't want it to be wandering, or notice the way his shirt brushed across the stiff scar on his back. His expression darkened as he tried to walk a little faster, nothing good would come of thinking about it, they had marked him, but at least—for whatever reason—they had chosen his back, so he didn't have to look at it. Heero finally reached the elevator but it was Ash's hand that reached out to press the button, Heero said nothing just walked through the doors and leaned heavily against the wall.

He let his eyes fall closed not out of exhaustion but a need to try and block things out, it didn't work, he could still feel Ash's piercing gaze on him. "What?" he finally ground out opening one eye just enough to regard his hazel eyed friend.

Ash smiled for an instant, an expression that looked a little relieved, "Just wondering how you're doing," he said.

Heero raised an eye brow at that knowing full well there was no answer he was going to give that Ash would accept, but he was saved the trouble of having to answer as the elevator doors opened. The Japanese man was the first out, hanging close to the wall on his left as he walked forward his destination finally within sight. He w_as _about three feet from the door when Trowa strode past him to punch in the code, "Get changed, I'll bring you something to eat."

He just nodded his head at that walking past into his room. He was eating a little better now than he had in the beginning, the exercise that he did each day causing him to actually feel hungry. It was a far better experience to eat when you felt you actually needed to, than just when someone said it was time. Ash followed him into the room silently and strode to the far end to drop himself down on the couch as Heero sat himself down on his bed taking a moment to catch his breath and let his legs rest. Ash continued to watch him without saying a word but Heero knew the silence was not likely to last much longer.

"Ash…" he said the name without turning around to face his friend, this was beginning to bother him.

The man in question laughed for a moment, it sounded natural and pleasant, a welcomed sound Heero was surprised to realise. "Do you realise this is the second time you've broken the silence?" Ash chuckled happily, he would find that amazing.

"Your silent staring is driving me nuts," Heero responded right back, slowly reaching for the back of his shirt collar.

"Sorry my friend," Ash apologised with a smile in his voice, "I can keep up a steady stream of conversation if you like, but I had the feeling that might bother you more than silence."

It's true it would have, an inaudible sigh escaped Heero's lips as he pulled the sweat soaked shirt from his back and tossed it aside. From behind Heero heard Ash's sharp intake of breath, and he twisted then leveling a heavy glare his friends way. He reached for his clean shirt, quickly shrugging into it and concealing the brand from sight. Heero supposed there was something good he could find in this, he had managed to forget it was even there until he heard Ash's reaction, but he decided he didn't want that to happen again. Heero stepped off the bed continuing to change removing his loose fitting drawstring pants and quickly pulling on another pair. He tied the drawstrings tightly but the pants still hung low on his hips.

"Heero," Ash called his name, his voice oddly emotionless, and it sounded to the former pilot as though Ash wanted him to look over. Heero glanced through the corner of one eye, "Far be it from me to talk about something you'd rather not--"

"Like hell," Heero cut him off, that's all Ash ever did.

Ash came to his feet then his expression still serious which sort of surprised Heero, Ash's usual tactic was to slip back into a cheerful mode when confronted with Heero's anger. "I just want to make sure you're dealing with this…" he sighed in face of Heero's dark glare several minutes passing in tense silence between them, before Ash finally threw up his hands in defeat. "C'mon Heero let's play a game of chess," Ash stated as he stepped away from the couch, but instead of walking over to the bed where the chessboard rested he made his way over to the window, and pushed two armchairs together, "Let's play here, the natural light's a lot nicer."

Heero stared at him for a brief moment, Ash had made such a sudden switch that it left him feeling a little stunned, he had not expected his friend to let up once he started. Ash walked towards him a smile now firmly planted on his face, it was the expression Heero was used to seeing. "You going to stand there forever?" he asked taking hold of the chessboard, "I think your legs would be happier if you sat down."

Blinking away the fog that had coated his mind Heero stepped away from his bed and slowly moved towards the chairs, where Ash was placing the board securely on the two arms. "White or black?" he asked in a conversational tone. Heero just shrugged sitting himself down in the chair open for him and he drew his legs up to his chest turning to regard Ash. Unfazed Ash opened the small drawer on his side of the board and looked inside, "You're black," he announced as he began to place his white pieces on the board.

For a time they were quiet as they set up their sides of the chessboard. Heero saw Ash's eyes flicker to his face on several occasions, and although his lips were still turned up in a smile his eyes were very serious. Perhaps he hadn't let go as easily as he first let on, in either case Heero was determined to push Ash off as he had done to John. If and when he wanted to come to terms with what the Inner Circle had done it would be his decision and something he did alone. He wasn't about to let this drag him down, but that didn't mean he had to come to terms with it right now. He could put it aside, it wasn't like he was trying to run away.

Ash took a moment to consider everything once the board was set up before he selected his first piece to move, "So do you find everything a little easier to deal with now that you're practically back on your feet?" he asked in normal conversational tones, his eyes shifting from game to Heero and back again.

The former pilot just shrugged his right shoulder, as he reached for a pawn to move forward, telling himself silently he didn't use his left because the joint was stiffer than his right. "I'm not so bored," he admitted knowing that wasn't what Ash had been hinting at. Was he less stressed and frustrated than when he couldn't leave that bed behind? Maybe at times but there was always something to piss him off, people, situations, he felt there would always be something.

"Good to hear," Ash chuckled taking Heero's non answer and rolling with it easily, he moved a pawn of his own before his hazel eyes turned to the window they were sitting in front of. "Have you had a chance to go outside? It's been a while hasn't it?" his attention returned to Heero.

Heero's cobalt eyes flashed over to the window before immediately returning to the game board pain lancing through his head brought to life by the bright sunlight. "Haven't really thought about it," titling his head away so his eyes were shadowed, Heero decided that wasn't entirely true he remembered the first time he had seen the sunlight and wanted to see more of it. The first time he had wanted to look out the window to the world he had left behind.

"Now I don't believe that," Ash threw back shaking his head and leaning back in his seat, "You haven't been able to breathe the truly fresh air in months, that's got to suck."

"Say's the man who lives on a colony," Heero returned dryly.

Ash laughed out loud at that looking incredibly pleased, "Well at least I appreciate it while I'm here on Earth," he continued to snicker for a moment, "You're planning on making a move?"

Heero studied the board, they were still just in the beginning stages of the game, but usually he'd already have a plan, one he'd no doubt have to change a dozen or more times while playing against Ash. But this time Heero just couldn't seem to do it, he picked up a knight and moved him across the board.

"So no one's thought to take you outside," he continued moving a piece of his own without hesitation.

"In case you forgot," Heero responded capturing one of Ash's pawns, "I'm supposed to be dead…"

"Heh, you look awfully alive to me," he shifted forward a smirk playing on his face, "Especially considering how you looked last time I was here."

"Hn," Heero grunted choosing not to make a verbal response he wondered why Ash was so concerned about this now. Dropping his head down to his right hand Heero massaging subtly at his eye where the ache remained slowly gnawing. If he were to go outside, his light sensitivity would certainly damper his enjoyment, unless it was to fade.

"There's got to be a way to get you outside," Ash continued his mood remaining bright in face of Heero's silence. "What about the roof?"

Heero simply shook his head, nothing could deter Ash once he got something into his head. Heero supposed they were a like in that sense, though Heero focused his energy on more important matters. A sharp knock on the door broke Heero's thoughts announcing Trowa's return, and the arrival of food. The former pilot walked into the room, hair still damp from his shower, Trowa crossed over to where Ash and Heero sat. "Here," he said quietly passing Heero a full bottle of water and his meal.

The Japanese man settled back in his chair cracking the water open first, finding his mouth to be really dry. "What no arguments?" Ash asked in total shock, "No game of chess?" he sounded incredulous, "You're just going to take that and eat?"

"Don't sound so shocked," Heero berated.

"I wouldn't," Ash began raising a hand in a sign of peace, but an evil smirk was still playing on his face, "If this wasn't the first time I'd ever witnessed this," he shifted to the edge of his seat, continuing to smile very brightly despite Heero's dark glare.

Ash allowed a silence to fall over the room as Heero ate, and Trowa settled himself down on the couch, but it wasn't to last long. "Trowa I don't suppose you'd know of any way we could slip Heero outside for a short time?" he asked coming to his feet and stretching, "This re-circulated air is starting to get to him."

"You want to go outside?" Trowa asked Heero.

Heero shrugged his right shoulder, finishing off his meal, "Ash thinks I do…"

"Of course you do!" Ash exclaimed, "It'll be great! Besides you could use a little sun."

Trowa's lips twitched a little at that as he made to get up, "You'll need something a little warmer than what you have, the wind is brisk out there, especially up this high."

Heero remained mute, watching his two friends as he finished off the last of the water in the bottle. Would they actually take him up to the roof? Heero didn't doubt Ash would given the chance, and it really didn't look like Trowa was about to stand in his way. Turning his head back towards the window Heero risked a glance at the bright sunlight to see if it would stab him as sharply as it did earlier. He knew it would be different being out there, even this window as clear as it might be filtered the light to a degree, and he still found himself fighting back a wince as his pupils adjusted to the light.

"See!" Ash exclaimed slapping his hands together sharply, "You do want to go outside!" Heero tore his eyes away from the window to regard his friend with an unimpressed look, "Deny it all you want, you're excited about the idea." Nothing would dampen Ash's mood on this, and Heero could deny it all he wanted, but to himself he had to admit the idea was starting to become more appealing.

"I go grab you a sweater," Trowa said coming to his feet, and that only extended Ash's smile, as he dropped back across from Heero, moving a random piece on the chessboard.

"This is going to be great!"

WMWMWMW

Heero stood in the dimly lit stairwell just behind the door that would take him out to the roof. It had been a challenge to get up here, they hadn't had to go too far up but stairs were an effort, one Heero had been determined to do on his own. His legs felt shaky from the effort, and he could feel Trowa standing close to his back, eyes watching, but he was able to remain standing on his own.

"Ready?" Ash asked his hand already on the door handle.

"Here," Trowa leaned over passing Heero a pair of sunglasses, "Put these on."

Heero took the offered sunglasses gratefully, more so than Trowa would ever know, he hadn't wanted to say anything about the sensitivity of his eyes. Had Trowa noticed? Or was it just a natural assumption, that being indoors for so long would leave him sensitive? In either case Heero really didn't care, he slipped the glasses on and nodded once to Ash. Without a word Ash pushed open the door, letting a gust of fresh air rush into the stairwell along with blinding sunlight. Heero took a moment to adjust himself to this, his eyes not feeling as sore looking at the light through the tinted glass. Ash looked back over his shoulder with his wide smile and walked out onto the roof holding to door open for Heero to follow him out.

Reaching for the door jam Heero pulled himself forward, stepping outside for the first time in months. The late summer breeze pulled at his hair, brushing across his features with cool fingers, making him glad that he had the sweatshirt on that Trowa had brought him. The former pilot stepped further from the doorway so Trowa could follow him outside, and he caught sight of Ash motioning for him to come over to where he was standing. Heero took it slow having nothing really anywhere around him to support himself if his legs decided to give out on him. His eyes narrowed behind the sunglasses he knew if he did fall Trowa was close enough behind him that he wouldn't hit the roof. He made to clench his right hand, but stopped himself, it wouldn't be too much longer before he could walk without them following him.

"Heero come take a look at this," Ash's exclamation swept back to Heero on the wind, and he could hear his friend's excitement. A tiny smirk touched Heero's lips, who was it who was really excited about this? Ash had made it sound like it was Heero, but he didn't think he could ever match Ash's enthusiasm.

Finally reaching the edge of the roof Heero leaned his weight against the ledge, and looked out over the cliff face and the ocean below. It was bright and open, and for a brief second Heero felt the same sense of amazement as when he had first set foot on Earth. He had never felt such an expansive space. Space itself was limitless, but you couldn't experience it without something between you, like a mobile suit. Heero breathed deeply of the fresh air, his ribs ached but he didn't care, Ash was right it felt good like something had been lifted from his shoulders, one of the many weights he carried, something he hadn't even been aware of.

Ash leaned close to Heero for a moment, "Feels good doesn't it?"

Heero mutely nodded his head, moving a little further down the way, his cobalt eyes seeing the city that rose up east of the agency. Sank was an expansive metropolis that had been steadily growing and rebuilding since the end of the war. It had the look of a European city no tall skyscrapers in fact the tallest building was the agency on which Heero stood. White marble glowed in the brilliant sunshine and Heero's eyes scanned over it all, taking in every familiar building, and landmark that he could see from this distance. He had traveled a great deal while with Relena but much of his responsibilities had kept him in the confines of the city limits, either at the palace or congress. He couldn't see Relena's house from where he stood but knew in his mind exactly how to get there.

He didn't know how long he stood there staring at the city, but after a time he felt a presence close in beside him, and Ash stepped out from behind and put himself in Heero's line of sight. "Look can I be blunt for a moment?" he asked in hushed tones that surprised Heero a little. Ash was as blunt a man as any Heero knew, and rarely concerned about who might hear his advice along with the intended recipient. His right hand reached out for Heero's left shoulder, and before the former pilot knew it Ash's hand was on him pressing the material of his shirt to the brand. Heero's first instinct was to jump away, to put distance between them, but he resisted not wanting to show Ash just how much this bothered him, though his face did fall into a dark glare.

"Don't let this drag you down Heero," Ash said very seriously leaning his head in close, "They're not worth it, besides that we're going to take them down, plans are being made." His hand gripped a little tighter, and Heero's body tensed, "And all the plans involve you, you being there when we take them down."

Finally Ash released Heero's shoulder, and the former pilot drew in a breath to his burning lungs, he hadn't realised he had stopped when Ash grabbed him. Ash stepped back a smile spreading across his face as he shut his eyes and turned his face towards the sun, he heaved a sigh, whether it was from pleasure or relief Heero couldn't say for sure. "Just keep that in mind," he stated looking directly at Heero, "I'll remind you every now and again, I'm sure the other's will appreciate it," Ash chuckled to himself as he stepped away giving Heero a little space.

The Japanese man watched his friend leave with mixed feelings raging through him. Would anyone else have tried something like that? He doubted at the moment that any of the pilots would have, but would they if there were in the same position as Ash? They all had their own scars to live and deal with, and for the most part they had all dealt on their own. Heero had never wanted to reveal what he had lived through most likely for the same reasons the others never spoke. They didn't want to relive any more than they wanted to burden someone else with their past. Quatre was different from the rest however, he had his share of scars though they tended to be a little more public like the death of his father for example. He was also more sensitive to what they were feeling, still he never forced the issue, at least he had never done that with Heero.

"Heero?"

Blinking out of his thoughts Heero looked back over his shoulder to see Trowa and Ash both watching him, "You ready to go back in?" Trowa asked.

Casting one last glance over the city Heero nodded his head and made his slow way back towards the door. This really hadn't changed anything for Heero, at least not anything tangible, but still he felt better for it, like he had every time he had gained something back, some small measure of independence.

WMWMWMW

Heero jerked awake drawn from his sleep by the sound of someone knocking on his door, opening his eyes Heero looked to the clock immediately seeing it was only ten at night. That surprised him, he hadn't realised he was tired enough to fall asleep. Ash had left hours back, they had come back inside and finished their game of chess, a game Ash had managed to win, with Heero so distracted. He doubted he'd hear the end of it for some time, he was just grateful to hear the end of it for the moment. Ash was not what you'd describe as a graceful winner; at least not when he had been trying to win against Heero for so long.

Pushing himself up Heero barely managed to get himself into a sitting position before the door was opening and he saw Relena's smiling face. The expression faltered for a minute when she looked at Heero, "I didn't wake you did I?" she asked obviously concerned.

Heero shook his head, unsure if she'd believe him or not, "No," he looked off towards the wall of pictures again raking a hand through his hair as he did. Hearing Relena sigh, brought Heero's eyes right back to see a pleased expression on her face and something he couldn't put his finger on in her eyes.

"Somewhere I'm sure, there has to be a law against a man looking this good," she shook her head, lips turning up into a beautiful smile. He blinked looking down at himself before returning his eyes to Relena with what he was sure was a confused expression. She laughed a sound Heero knew he'd never get tired of hearing, and she crossed the distance to him getting up on the bed in front of him. "You know looking at me like that only makes you sexier," this close Heero couldn't help but reach out for her blond hair wrapping the silky strands around his fingers.

He pulled her in for a kiss, slow and gentle and he could feel her left hand find its way onto his leg, while her right tangled itself in his already messy hair. Relena parted the kiss remaining very close to him, "I never imagined I'd ever find something I could tease you about." Heero chose not to respond to that but closed that small distance between them and pressed his mouth to hers firmly, he wanted more, and Relena responded by her hand leaving his leg to meet in his hair where her right was still running. Pulling her closer Heero felt one of Relena's hands stray to his back, unconsciously touching his left shoulder blade.

Heero fought the urge to stiffen and push Relena away, he didn't want to hurt her, but he had to break the contact, had to remove her hand. Pulling away he was met with Relena's pouting face, before he turned to slide off the bed. "Something wrong?" she asked following him.

"Leg cramped," he lied, pressing his hand to his right leg a he walked a little not looking at her. He couldn't let this get to him, it was a weakness, he didn't have any weaknesses.

"Want me to massage it for you?" she asked suggestively taking hold of his wrist, and pulling him gently too her.

Heero felt his lips turn up a fraction at that, and forced his eyes to look up at her, "I'm alright," he assured her. Relena just pouted at him for an instant before her expression blossomed into a smile.

"I heard from Ash that he took you up to the roof today," Relena commented coming to her feet , "That must have been nice."

Heero shrugged his right shoulder and lowered himself onto the couch near the far end of his room. He had enjoyed that brief time out on the roof, but couldn't see why he needed to voice it. Heero leaned back hard against the couch dark eyes watching Relena as she knelt down in front of him crystal blue eyes staring deeply into his. "You won't even admit it to me?" she asked with a tiny pout her long lashes batting at him, but he could see she was trying very hard not to laugh.

"What is it you want to hear?" he asked his right hand reaching out to play with her hair. As much as he enjoyed it, perhaps that wasn't even the right way to look at all these little moments where he had gained something back. There was a sense of pride at having made it back, and perhaps relief, but could he really say he enjoyed it? That he took pleasure in things that he hadn't been able to do a few months before? It seemed to him that these 'moments' really just showcased how far he had fallen.

"Don't look like that Heero," Relena cut through his thoughts leaning up to quickly kiss him, she held him there for a brief moment before pulling back. "There ought to be a law against you sitting here thinking especially if your thoughts are just going to darken." There was no denying that given enough time Heero's thoughts usually did turn in that direction something he hardly even noticed.

Heero reached down to Relena pulling her onto his lap, she stretched her legs down the length of the couch and cuddled close slipping her arms around his neck. For a time they just sat there together Heero not looking at anything specific just taking a moment's pleasure at having Relena so close to him that he could feel her heart beating. He felt her sigh against his shoulder and it was like she melted a little her entire body relaxing, "You don't know how long I've dreamed of this," she whispered into his ear and he could tell she was smiling.

He looked down at her then seeing her eyes were closed, "I'm sorry it took so long," he apologised softly and watched as her beautiful blue eyes flashed open.

"We're together now," she smiled with a dazzling light in those eyes, "I don't want you to feel sorry for what you had to do."

Did he feel sorry for what he had done? It was a question he had never actually asked himself, there had been questions of regret but that wasn't the same thing. He could regret how things had had to go, but not that he had chosen to take the mission, and in that sense Heero supposed he couldn't feel sorry for it. If he were to do it all over again, he knew without second thought that he'd play it all the same. Looking down at Relena, he didn't feel any need to explain himself to her, instead he chose to kiss her. Dropping his lips down onto hers, Heero could feel Relena respond immediately her body pressing closer to him not that there had been any distance between them to begin with.

Their lips parted to accommodate the need for a few long breaths of air, Heero sat there in the silence not really looking at anything in particular, his thoughts not focused on one specific thing. He felt comfortably surrounded by Relena's presence, her scent filling him, making up for all those days of wishing he could just experience her one more time.

"Heero," Relena spoke up softly her head cradled on his shoulder her arms wrapped loosely around him, "What happens now?" The question was so open ended Heero wasn't even sure what she was referencing to, he looked down at her, finding Relena's eyes to be staring off deep in thought.

"What do you mean?" he probed for clarification.

"You're back," she began looking up at him, "You've recovered, what now with the Inner Circle? What about the rest of your life?" the second question Heero felt pretty sure Relena was more interested in, though there was no doubt that she saw the need to remove the Inner Circle.

Heero considered the question for a good long time feeling Relena's eyes on him, but knowing that she'd wait patiently for an answer, he was half tempted to say he hadn't really thought about it, to just try and brush the matter aside. But that wasn't the truth, he had been thinking about it, wondering in the silence what he was going to do next. Would he now finally be able to take down the organisation he had almost sacrificed everything to infiltrate? An organisation that had got the better of him and marked him permanently as a member of their ranks, for the rest of his life he'd carry that brand. Heero shook himself internally not wanting his thoughts to travel down that dark road, "I haven't really thought about it…"

Relena blinked in surprise, her expression taking on a stern cast "I don't believe that, not for one minute." Much to his surprise Relena settled back into his arms, apparently not ready to press this issue with him. "I want to clear your name," she whispered softly, "I want the world to know you didn't try to kill me."

"You know that doesn't matter," he responded immediately, he had never cared what the world thought of him.

She looked up, her pretty eyes shining with bright emotion, "It matters to me." His arms tightened around her briefly as he let his eyes fall closed, he was content to just sit here in silence, to enjoy her presence. Relena settled a little more comfortably against him a quiet sigh escaping her lips as she did.

Thanks for Reading!

**A Constant Struggle**:

"Are we going to spar tomorrow?" Wufei broke the silence with a complete change of subject, a welcomed change.

"Yes," he nodded his head dropping back down to his original seat. His limbs had been responding to him completely for a while now and he had been looking forward to sharpening his skills.

"Good I'm looking forward to it," they fell into silence as their attention turned to the TV, where the news anchor was recounting the day's major events.

Heero's eyes opened a little wider when he saw an image of himself appear on screen, "It has been four years to the day that Heero Yuy attempted to assassinate Relena Peacecraft, at an assembly held to commemorate the formation of a peaceful Earth's Sphere." Images of that fateful day over took the screen as the man spoke, and Heero saw for the first time in years how that day had looked. He remember back to that day how he had tried his hardest to avoid the news not wanting to relive that moment any more than he had already was.

He could feel Wufei's eyes on him, but couldn't tare his eyes from the screen on the wall, he caught the motion of his friend reaching to change the channel but he simply shook his head; he wanted to see this. "It was May 5th that Commander Une announced to the world that Yuy had died in an attempt to bring him to justice, little more has been discovered about that incident, earlier today one of our reporters caught up to Miss Peacecraft to get her thoughts on the death of Yuy."

Heero leaned forward surprised that he had not actually realised what day this was until now. Again the image on screen changed and Heero saw one of Relena walking down the steps of the congress building Duo and Trowa close at hand keeping the press a safe distance back as they made their way towards her car. "Miss Peacecraft!" voices shouted to be heard their questions all blending together into a general din.

"Miss Peacecraft! What do you feel to know Heero Yuy is dead! Is the peace finally secured!" one voice finally broke through the onslaught and demanded to be heard.

Relena halted placing a hand on Duo's arm as she turned to face the camera drawing herself up as though preparing to give a meaningful speak. "Enough of these questions! Is it not enough that he is dead? Must you continue to drag his name to the surface again and again? No matter the man or what he did in his life I believe everyone should be given a moment's peace even if it's only in death."

"Well said…" Wufei breathed leaning back, Heero mutely nodded his head. This day really held no meaning for him any longer, and because of that he wasn't really surprised at the fact that he had all but forgotten about it. He pulled his eyes away from the TV to look at Wufei, "She hates this day, hates having to deal with all the press," he explained shutting the screen down.

"I don't care what they think," Heero said bluntly he was dead in their eyes and that was just fine by him, he had never cared what the world thought of him, had never wanted to be a prominent figure. He had seen first hand back during the war what could happen with public opinion, one minute they're behind you utterly and completely and the very next they want your heads. It was all just so much easier their way.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	53. A Constant Struggle

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Please enjoy this chapter and the extra preview from chapter 61. Thanks so much to morgansgirl and Pious Knight.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing.

**A Constant Struggle**

Heero fought against the current of the small pool in which he swam, his movements were fluid and strong, but his endurance was still lagging. His arms and legs burned a welcomed pain, and one he could tune out as he pressed on, a little harder to deal with was the stabbing of his ribs with each breath. Finally able to walk on his own Heero felt a great deal more freedom, he didn't have to rely on anyone taking him down here and bringing him back to his room. It had taken what felt like ages for Heero to make it to this point, three weeks had passed since Ash had left, and he had redoubled his efforts in his training pushing himself as hard as he could, or at least as hard as Trowa would let him.

By himself now, there was nothing stopping Heero from working as hard or as long as he wanted. He did find however that Trowa often showed up, he never said anything usually went off to work on his own, but he was there those emerald eyes watching. It irritated Heero a little, he felt like despite the fact he could do all this on his own, they felt the need to be there just in case. He never said anything to his friend when he walked into the room, they didn't often feel the need to share words normally.

"Heero," hearing his name being called the former pilot swam towards the edge of the pool and took hold of the side finally looking up to see John crouching near him. "It's great and all that you can work on your own but why not take a break for the moment?" John asked a slight smile touching his old features.

Having stopped his swim Heero's body was more than willing to acknowledge the pain he had been able to put aside moments before, and he wasn't so sure he'd be able to start up again at the moment. John seemed to take his silence as acquiescence as he reached down with his left hand to shut off the current of the water. Now having nothing to fight against Heero trudged through the water to the stairs that would take him out of the pool. He could feel John's eyes on him as he stepped out of the water the muscles of his thin body trembling from the exertion.

"Here," John offered Heero a towel to dry himself with, which he accepted silently drying his face.

"Where's Trowa?" he asked stepping towards the lockers his wet feet leaving damp footprints in his wake.

"I believe he went to get himself some lunch, a few hours ago," John responded a step or so behind.

Heero took hold of his clothes and turned to face John, his expression frustrated, "And no doubt sent you," he managed to keep his voice emotionless.

"No," John shook his head, the smile on his face remaining slightly indulgent, "He didn't but I thought if you didn't come up on your own I'd offer to get us both something."

To the old doctor's credit he had clearly been trying to take a step back and give Heero the space he was looking for, while still being close enough in case he was needed for anything. Because of this Heero was far more inclined to nod his head in agreement than he would have been if someone tried to force a meal on him now. He was usually most hungry after swimming, and today was no different for him.

"So would you like something?"

"Yeah," Heero nodded his head and headed towards the showers.

"Alright when you're done here come up to your room, I'll go get us something," John confirmed sounding pleased as he turned to leave.

Heero stepped into the shower stall and stripped off his wet bathing suit, stepping under the hard spray he stood there for several minutes just letting it wash over him his head down, eyes tightly closed. How long had it been since this all started? How long had he been fighting an up hill battle to get back on his feet? It was September now, he couldn't positively remember when he had been brought back to earth—that time was all so fussy even now—but he seemed to recall hearing the month of May being mentioned. That was nearly five months, almost half a year. Forcing his eyes to open, Heero shook the water droplets from his lashes and looked down at himself.

With continual work the muscle definition on his arms and legs was returning, he had never been bulky, quiet the opposite actually. But he weight had been entirely made up of muscle mass, which at the moment he was lacking. His chest was still thin, his ribs not nearly as obvious as they had been, but Heero thought it would take a long time for him to gain it all back. Could he defend himself in a fight? Heero clenched his fist holding it up before his eyes, he felt positive that he could. His size had never been a problem, more like an advantage, at least against a regular opponent, but what about one of the other pilots?

That was something Heero wanted to test, that was the only way he'd know where he stood, was to go up against one of them. But he had to admit if only to himself, he wasn't quite ready to go that far. He might have regained his movement, and the strength to remain on his feet, but he was really lacking in endurance. Looking at it honestly, he would not lie to himself, Heero knew he still had a long way to go, but that would be his goal. As soon as he could he was going to face off with one of the pilots and find out where he really stood.

WMWMWMW

Une walked down the empty corridor, the sharp click of her heals the only sound as it resounded off the bare walls echoing ever so slightly. She walked purposefully her shoulders straight head held high, she was a proud and confident woman. She felt the need to show it a little more today that most other days, she felt like she was about to walk out before a crowd of people and make a major announcement. Une needed to have a commanding presence, and for what she was planning to do today she truly felt like it was no different. Coming to a stop outside one of the doors that lined the hall she had walked down Une knocked upon it sharply. A moment or so passed before the door was sliding aside and Sally's somewhat surprised face greeted her.

"Une what brings you here?" she asked while stepping aside to usher her friend into her apartment.

"I was actually wondering how Heero was coming along," it had been a question on her mind for many weeks now, she just hadn't really been given a chance to ask it.

Sally hesitated half turning to look back over her shoulder at Une, "I don't exactly know…" she admitted a little color entering into her cheeks.

"No?" Une actually found herself surprised over that, she knew things hadn't been easy for Sally but she had been positive that after this long, "I thought you had been in to see him?"

"That was a while back," she confessed seating herself on the couch.

"Things haven't been improving for you?"

The doctor laughed a little it sounded dry, humorless, "With John there, there isn't much need for me." She shook her head, "But enough of that, why are you asking about Heero? I'm sure John is around somewhere…"

"I understand Heero's back on his feet," Une subtly changed the subject seating herself finally beside her friend.

"He's been spending a great deal of time training," Sally commented, a wan smile touching her face, "I wonder if John's having trouble getting him to stop?"

"You could always look into it, I'm sure if he is, he could use your expertise," it was high time Sally started acting like she used to with Heero.

Sally immediate shook her head, "Things have been getting better," she admitted, "But I just don't feel I have any right to take the position with him anymore."

"That'll come back," Une assured and could see the sceptical look in Sally's eyes, but Une could just imagine what would happen the first time Heero pushed his luck within Sally's hear shot. With luck the doctor wouldn't even think about it but simply react.

"So what's got you suddenly so interested in Heero?" Sally shifted to the edge of the seat placing her elbow on her knee and rested her head on her upturned hand.

Une drew in a breath, "I've been thinking about this for a long time now, I couldn't decide how I wanted to deal with this situation, I feel as guilty as the other's about what happened." Une didn't try to incorporate Sally into that knowing she would not believe that for a minute, "Still at the same time I've been angry about what happened, how he chose to deal with this problem, the more I think about this the more pissed off I get." She smiled at her friend, "I want him to know that anger not the guilt."

"It took you this long to decide?" Sally asked a slight approving smile on her face, Une also thought she might have seen a little envy there too.

Looking away Une shook her head, "If I was going to confront him like this I wanted him to be able to stand and face me, as I would any agent of the core."

"I'm sure he'll appreciate that."

"You think so?" Une returned her attention to her friend, she hadn't decided on this for Heero's benefit but more because she truly was outraged that he had done this without her knowledge.

"I know he's been tired of apologies for a while now," Sally told her tossing her hair over one shoulder, "Are you planning on speaking with him today?"

"That's the plan," she affirmed, "You know where I might find him at this time?"

Sally glanced at her wrist watch, "If today's like any other he may still be down in the training room, but I wouldn't know for sure."

"Good enough," Une got to her feet straightening out her suit, "I'll let you know how it goes." She took a couple of steps towards the door before halting a thought striking her, "I want him to be a part of the mission to take down the Inner Circle, only seems fair."

"When are you planning?"

Une looked over her shoulder, "When _you've_ cleared him for the mission."

"Me?" Sally looked less than thrilled about that.

"It's standard, the pilots have always been your priority, John might be here to help you, but I'm not going to accept him until you've cleared him," the tactic was a little evil, perhaps even unfair but if this is what it was going to take she'd do it.

"That's hardly fair Une."

"I'm giving you fair warning, it's not like it's happening today, it still be months away," she continued towards the door, "For now I'll ask John to keep me updated."

WMWMWMW

Finishing his shower Heero stepped from the dripping stall and dried himself quickly before dressing. It only took him a few minutes to return everything to how it had been before he made his way towards the door and left the training room behind. Heero could express in thoughts, and wouldn't have even dreamed to attempt words, for how good it felt to be able to walk on his own at a natural pace. And to not feel in the least bit concerned that his legs might not be able to hold him up the entire way. Heero had found himself going out of his way to take advantage of this, he didn't really like sitting for too long, he wanted to be moving constantly.

Walking towards the elevator, Heero was a little surprised when he heard it come to a stop at his floor, and watched as the doors parted and Une stepped out. She wore the uniform of the agency, and her expression stern as her eyes landed on Heero where he had come to a stop. "Une?" he hadn't expected to see her down here.

"I was told you'd be down here Yuy," she said her voice sounding very firm, authoritative, not what he had been expecting. Une hadn't really come in to see him since he had returned, he could recall seeing her the day Ash had first appeared, but that was about it. He hadn't really expected anything not like with the pilots Sally and Relena, he had reported to Une, and she had often been a part of their larger gatherings, but Heero couldn't say they really had a friendship.

"What do you need?" he knew she wouldn't be here if she hadn't been looking for him.

"A question," she said bluntly her arms crossing tightly beneath her breast, "At the end of the war, who did we decide you pilots would report to?"

An eyebrow raised at that, he could see where this could be heading, it was a blatantly loaded question, but one he would answer if only to see what would happen next. "You," he replied simply the pilots hadn't exactly been given a rank within the agency, and so Une wasn't really above them but they did report to her keeping her abreast to everything they were doing. She knew damn well she couldn't really control them if it came down to that.

"Then why the hell didn't I know what you were planning to do November 9 AC 196?" Une demanded stepping up towards him.

"Because no one knew," he returned wondering at why it had taken Une this long to come at him with this. He had after all been in the base for near five months, why now, why not sooner?

"That is unacceptable!" she threw back immediately, an odd glint in her eyes that caught Heero's attention.

He stared at her intently, "What's the point of arguing any of this after the fact?"

"Time doesn't matter, it still amounts to insubordination!" Une returned, "So much pain could have been avoided if I had known!"

Was this her way of apologising? Was that what he was seeing in her eyes? If so it was the best way he had received yet. He could match her frustration for frustration, and perhaps find a little relief, "And what if you couldn't keep up appearances?" he asked back. It had been what kept him from telling any of them, he hadn't been able to take the risk.

"You shouldn't have presumed to make that choice," she looked down at him, Une was taller than him he realised, something he hadn't thought twice about three years back. Perhaps that had something to do with her waiting, had she made a conscious effort to put him on more equal ground? Or had it taken her this long to decide how she wanted to deal with the matter? Short of asking her outright—something Heero wasn't about to do—he didn't think he'd ever know.

Heero folded his arms across his chest, "And we're right back to 'It's a little late now.'"

Her eyes narrowed dangerously, but that look remained in those deep blue eyes, she was pleased with how this was going. "I fully expect you to clean up this mess, when you have been cleared for missions again," so what Ash had said was true. Heero hadn't doubted his friend, had wanted to believe they'd wait for him to be able to take part in the mission.

"You're going to wait that long?" that was the only thing that kept him wondering, how long would it be before he could handle a mission? Could they afford to wait until then?

Une's stance relaxed a little, "We have an advantage, that we know what they're doing and where they are. Dante's keeping an eye on them, but they can't be moving very fast trying to piece together a Gundam, especially if their building it from the information you gave Dante."

Heero gave her a questioning look, he couldn't remember what he had given Dante, none of it had been voluntary he knew that much.

"You switched around the controls in the cockpit, anything could trigger the self destruct," her stern expression finally slid into a slight smile, "That was quick thinking on your part."

Shrugging the matter aside Heero's expression turned serious again, "When are you planning on taking them out?"

"As I said, when Sally's cleared you."

_When will that be?_ he wondered mutely, suddenly feeling more pressure to get himself back to one hundred percent. "Have discussions begun on how we're going to handle this?"

"Dante and I have spoken about it a few times, but I think no matter what we try its going to come down to a house by house search," she sighed that was the last thing any of them wanted. Une turned then motioning for them to make their way back to the elevator, "I've asked John to keep me up to date on your progress."

Heero watched her through the corner of one eye as he waited the short distance to his floor, he wasn't at all surprised by this, but at the same time less than thrilled. He remained silent however knowing it was not an uncommon procedure.

"I do have one order for you, before I leave," she announced then placing her foot over the threshold as Heero stepped off the elevator and turn to face her again an eye brow raised in question. "I want you to give yourself a break," her voice was as stern as it had been when she had originally walked up to him, "You'll be no good to us if you work yourself to death." Une pulled back into the elevator an infuriatingly knowing smile the only change to her otherwise stern expression.

Heero grunted inaudibly turning away, that was easy for her to say, she wasn't the one feeling the pressure to get back to one hundred percent so they could deal with the Inner Circle. Heero knew he didn't have forever, he knew that, but his body could only take so much, he knew that too, still that didn't make taking a break any easier. With a shake of his head Heero turned back down the hall making for his room, he opened the door wondering if he'd find John already waiting in his room. He found his answer immediately as John rose from his seat on the couch as soon as the former pilot walked in.

"I was beginning to wonder if you were coming," John greeted with a smile.

"Caught up with Une in the hall," he explained though he thought it was pretty obvious that John would have known that, after all Une most likely discovered where he was from the old doctor.

"And how was that?"

"Interesting," that was to say the very least, Heero's eyes focused in on the meal John had chosen for him, thankfully still feeling hungry from his swim. He walked over to where the meal had been spread out on the coffee table and took a seat on the couch in front of the one that hadn't been started yet. John came over to him and they ate for several moments in silence, all the while Heero could tell John was watching him, he didn't for a moment think the doctor was trying to be subtle. John wanted Heero to know, he wanted him to look over, there was something on his mind, but Heero had a feeling it was something he didn't really want to be talking about, and so was content to wait John out.

"What do you have planned for the rest of the day?" John finally inquired, it seemed an innocent enough question, but Heero knew better.

Studying John through the corner of his right eye he wondered briefly at the answer he should give. There was time enough left in the day to work on some strength training, he didn't think his body would be up to any light sparring yet, though that was what he was really craving. Finally he just shook his head, "I don't know yet."

"Well that's good," a smile broke out on John's face, "Because I'd like you to take the rest of the day off and tomorrow too."

Heero's eyes narrowed, "I'd rather not," he admitted honestly.

"You know you can't keep this pace up forever," John said then, "You work yourself to exhaustion and you could be causing further set backs. I know this is something I shouldn't have to tell you Heero," there was almost an admonishing note to John's voice which irked Heero more than a little.

He was no fool, he knew exactly what John was saying, had known from the beginning even if at the moment he was having some trouble accepting it. He had allowed himself to be blinded, as he began seriously working out, wanting to do more, to push himself harder each day. But it wasn't something he could keep up, as John said it could end up setting him back. Heero looked away from John not wanting to respond to that, yes he might not be able to work as hard as he wanted every day but he also stubbornly didn't want to give in.

"You're getting better day by day," he began, not afraid of Heero's silence, "But I'm still your doctor, and I think it's time we put together a schedule or something so that you have regular days of rest."

Heero's brow drew together and he fought back against the urge to snap at the old doctor. What was he supposed to do on those days off? Part of what really drove him was just the fact that he could get up and move around on his own, do what he wanted to do. Heero sighed, there was absolutely no use in deluding himself, no matter how much he wanted to he couldn't work every day, his body just couldn't take it. Une knew this and he knew she hadn't been pressuring him earlier, as she had said she wanted to see him get some rest. Heero leaned back on the couch letting his head drop back so his eyes were staring at the ceiling, this was all just another step, another form of frustration. With a sigh he finally nodded his head cobalt eyes falling on John to see a relieved smile on his face.

"Good," he nodded his head, "Trowa and Wufei both mentioned to me that they thought it might be a good idea, and I thought if you worked with their schedules you'd find days were one of them could spot you in your training."

"Or spar," he noticed John's brow crease a little at that but thought nothing of it, his thoughts turning inwards as he wondered when his limbs would be up to such a task.

"There is one other thing I think I should bring up," John sounded a little hesitant and he was no longer looking Heero's way, "Leon wants to come in for perhaps the last time to check your progress."

Heero fought against reacting to that news, he hadn't had to deal with Leon for a while now, and wasn't really looking forward to her coming in but this could well be the last time. He could deal with one more time, he was on much more even ground with her now than he had been back on that first day.

"On a much brighter note, I was to inform you that Relena has most of the afternoon off today…" John trailed off knowing he didn't have to say any more, he just smiled broadly, and began gathering the remains of their lunch. That one statement alone was enough for Heero to forget all the rest, and relax a little, still that too brought on a different form of frustration.

As much as he liked spending time with Relena, he didn't like the strange ache in his chest whenever she left. He wanted to be dependent on her least of all the people around him, but no matter what he told himself or did, he couldn't remove those feelings of need when Relena was gone. It felt like a gapping hole in his chest, the size depended on how long Relena was away. He couldn't remember ever feeling it back before he left, and he wondered if it had been caused by the three years they were apart. When had she started effecting him so much?

WMWMWMW

Heero sat back in the pilot's common room, it was early evening in November and he had been struggling with the schedule made for him for several weeks. He found the forced days off to be impossible to deal with, confined as he was in this wing of the agency there wasn't much for him to do besides training. But it seemed as though someone was always close at hand whether it was planned that way or not Heero didn't know and wasn't about to ask, but it kept him from trying to train on these off days. He hadn't been making progress in the leaps and bounds that he had been in the beginning a while back it felt as though he had plateaued and he had wanted very much to push himself all the harder to get beyond it.

"You want a drink?" Wufei asked suddenly, and Heero shook himself out of his thoughts to see his friend standing behind the bar on the far side of the room.

Nodding his head Heero straightened up in his seat before coming to his feet, he hated sitting for extended periods of time but on days like this there didn't seem to be much more he could do. Striding across the room to meet Wufei half way he accepted the bottle of water and twisted it open. "You don't have somewhere you need to be?" he asked unable to conceal the heat from his voice.

Wufei raised an eyebrow, swallowing some of his own water, "I can't relax after a long day?" he deflected returning to his seat in front of the TV.

"Is that actually what you're doing?"

The former pilot's eyes turned to Heero without moving his head, "You think I'm doing something else?"

Heero sighed shaking his head in frustration, why had he spoken? The words had slipped out before he could think better of them, still at times he did feel as though he were being watched by his friends on these days off. He didn't need supervision, hadn't for a while now, and it didn't matter to him that they might only have been close to make sure he was actually relaxing. He didn't want them there if they were around for any other reason than coincidence.

"Are we going to spar tomorrow?" Wufei broke the silence with a complete change of subject, a welcomed change.

"Yes," he nodded his head dropping back down to his original seat. His limbs had been responding to him completely for a while now and he had been looking forward to sharpening his skills.

"Good I'm looking forward to it," they fell into silence as their attention turned to the TV, where the news anchor was recounting the day's major events.

Heero's eyes opened a little wider when he saw an image of himself appear on screen, "It has been four years to the day that Heero Yuy attempted to assassinate Relena Peacecraft, at an assembly held to commemorate the formation of a peaceful Earth's Sphere." Images of that fateful day over took the screen as the man spoke, and Heero saw for the first time in years how that day had looked. He remember back to that day how he had tried his hardest to avoid the news not wanting to relive that moment any more than he had already was.

He could feel Wufei's eyes on him, but couldn't tare his eyes from the screen on the wall, he caught the motion of his friend reaching to change the channel but he simply shook his head; he wanted to see this. "It was May 5th that Commander Une announced to the world that Yuy had died in an attempt to bring him to justice, little more has been discovered about that incident, earlier today one of our reporters caught up to Miss Peacecraft to get her thoughts on the death of Yuy."

Heero leaned forward surprised that he had not actually realised what day this was until now. Again the image on screen changed and Heero saw one of Relena walking down the steps of the congress building Duo and Trowa close at hand keeping the press a safe distance back as they made their way towards her car. "Miss Peacecraft!" voices shouted to be heard their questions all blending together into a general din.

"Miss Peacecraft! What do you feel to know Heero Yuy is dead! Is the peace finally secured!" one voice finally broke through the onslaught and demanded to be heard.

Relena halted placing a hand on Duo's arm as she turned to face the camera drawing herself up as though preparing to give a meaningful speak. "Enough of these questions! Is it not enough that he is dead? Must you continue to drag his name to the surface again and again? No matter the man or what he did in his life I believe everyone should be given a moment's peace even if it's only in death."

"Well said…" Wufei breathed leaning back, Heero mutely nodded his head. This day really held no meaning for him any longer, and because of that he wasn't really surprised at the fact that he had all but forgotten about it. He pulled his eyes away from the TV to look at Wufei, "She hates this day, hates having to deal with all the press," he explained shutting the screen down.

"I don't care what they think," Heero said bluntly he was dead in their eyes and that was just fine by him, he had never cared what the world thought of him, had never wanted to be a prominent figure. He had seen first hand back during the war what could happen with public opinion, one minute they're behind you utterly and completely and the very next they want your heads. It was all just so much easier their way.

Thanks for Reading

**The Proving Grounds**:

Heero felt himself draw in a breath blocking out anything that wasn't important as his focus narrowed in on Wufei. He'd remain aware of his surroundings and the people in the room but so long as they didn't interfere the acknowledgement wouldn't go beyond cursory. Setting himself into a comfortable fighting stance he watched his opponent do the same onyx eyes devoid of anything he might have been thinking. No words passed between them but they both knew the fight was on, slowly Heero began to circle to the left while Wufei matched him moving to the right. Their eyes searched for openings and a tension began to build between them as they anticipated who would make the first move.

A second later they both exploded into motion their attacks clashing off each other's blocks. Heero's eyes narrowed and he ducked beneath Wufei's next strike using his smaller stature to his advantage. Coming up behind Heero raised his knee for a solid blow but was deflected as Wufei spun to meet him a dangerous glint in those onyx eyes. The fight was close quarters and very fast paced hardly a chance to think before the next attack was coming at you. Heero hardly noted the clash of their limbs as he blocked catching Wufei's arm, he didn't hold it for long knowing it could be more of a disadvantage but jumped back giving himself a little breathing room.

His heart pounded in his ears and his lungs took in steady breaths of air, he felt great as he brought his leg up to snap under Wufei's guard. The Chinese man caught Heero's leg in a firm hold and he was left with a split second to decide what he wanted to do. Dropping himself down Heero sprung on his hands and swung his right leg out to kick at Wufei's feet. He was released automatically as Wufei jumped away, no advantage gained only a little more knowledge about his own abilities right now.

Snapping back to his feet Heero remained crouched in a low guard observing his opponent feeling his lips creep up ever so slightly. Vaguely he caught the sounds of conversations taking place near the door, but he tuned them out not wanting to be distracted for a moment. Even that second was almost too much, Wufei charged him an intimidating show of force to a novice fighter but Heero was far from that. Catching himself up in Wufei's arms Heero took Wufei's momentum and fell back throwing Wufei over top of him as he did. Heero leapt to his feet a second later having not caught his friend by surprise, Wufei was nearly on top of him fist flying eyes locked on Heero's chest searching for signs of movement much as Heero's own were doing.

Heero blocked high slipping low intent on throwing Wufei again, but it left his side open for a strike if Wufei could move fast enough to deliver it. The former pilot kicked at the back of Heero's leg instead pulling free and leaving Heero's side untouched. Heero threw himself into a forward shoulder role coming up facing the direction he had come, his expression growing grim. Had Wufei purposefully missed that opening? Heero didn't want to consider the implications of that thought, and wasn't given time to as once more Wufei came at him relentlessly.

Blocking as quickly as he could Heero felt his breaths begin to shorten as his endurance slowly waned. He wouldn't be able to keep up this pace for much longer, but he wasn't ready to stop at the moment either; he wanted to go longer to discover if Wufei had purposefully missed. Heero came in a little more recklessly pushing himself drawing on the adrenaline that continued to fill his veins. He knew he was leaving himself open his sides specifically but his head also, to Wufei they'd be glaring, but he went for none of them. His friend blocked each strike dealing attempts of his own but not to any of the gaps leaving Heero an easy chance to defend.

Heero's anger erupted, he was being played! Wufei was going easy on him, he wasn't taking this seriously at all! Suddenly all the excitement he had felt at the beginning of the fight vanished and he was only left with boiling rage. Feeding upon that fire Heero charged in all the harder forcing Wufei back with the sudden strength of his attack. He pressed the Chinese man hard against the wall his right fist pulling back and without hesitation he released slugging Wufei across the jaw. It was the first solid blow to be landed and Heero noticed the entire room had gone silent.

--An now as an apology a Super Special preview of chapter 61 please enjoy!--

**Return to the Pack**:

Wufei held the solid oak door open for her as they all entered the house, and she offered him a smile as she walked pass kicking off her heels as she did. "I don't know why I keep wearing these," she grumbled to herself as she picked them up off the tiled floor.

"Pain is just--"

"Weakness leaving the body," Relena finished for the Chinese man and laughed, "Honestly though I dare you to try them for a day."

Wufei levelled her with an unimpressed look not deigning to offer a reply to that.

Which Relena took as a reply all on it's own a knowing smile touching her lips, "I didn't think so." Stepping passed the two of them Relena made her way deeper into the house, she smiled and greeted her maids as she passed them always wanting them to feel appreciated. A sigh escaped her lips as she opened the door to her room and stepped inside safely closing it behind her, this was her private sanctuary. Almost immediately she noticed something had changed about the room, her brow drew together in confusion as she walked towards her bed a puzzled smile touching as the edges of her lips.

"You weren't here when I left," she said to the small teddy bear sitting among the pillows.

"Neither was I," a masculine voice spoke up from behind.

Relena would have screamed in shock had she not recognised the voice immediately, and the familiar wild scent. Spinning Relena threw her arms around the only man she had ever loved and felt him do the same his strong arms slowly closing her in. She had never felt safer in her life being completely surrounded by Heero. "I missed you," she breathed into his neck hugging him a little tighter before pulling back to look at his face.

"I'm sorry," he breathed softly little space between them before he closed his mouth over hers the kiss started slow, but Relena could feel Heero's tightly held need. His body pressed against hers holding her tight, and she was more than willing to respond opening herself up to him having missed him more than he could ever know.

WMWMWMW

Heero felt Relena respond to that deep burning need, and felt the world fall away as that burning ache in his chest slowly abated. The need he had for her was still something Heero found himself fighting against, he was too well trained to become reliant on something like love. But at the same time nothing in his life had ever felt more right. The void of combat might not have been filled but another just as raw had begun to close over the moment he had truly come to know the woman he held in his arms. Pulling back finally Heero rested his forehead against Relena's his breaths coming a little winded.

He could feel her smile against his shoulder as she hugged him tighter shifting her head to the crook of his neck. A subtle chill ran down his spine as Relena's hand slipped up under the hem of his coat and shirt to lightly trace along the small of his back. He breathed in the scent of her hair and allowed himself a short moment to savour having her so close, a part of him still fought against these moments, wanting to remain independent of them, but he knew he wasn't about to pull back form her not so long as she wanted him near.

"Where have you been?" she asked finally her head not leaving his shoulder.

"Does that really matter?" he deflected not wanting to worry about that now, not able to see the importance of it, he was hear now, wasn't that enough?

Relena lifted her head then looking at him a little surprised, "Of course it does," she pulled back form him then her eyes glancing over him as she did, "I was worried about you." His brow drew down a little at that, he knew in the back of his mind that Relena couldn't possibly think him helpless, but he couldn't make the rest of his brain believe that. "Heero, I love you no matter what you want I'm going to end up worrying about you," she explained a smile on her face as though perfectly understanding his confusion.

Heero felt his lips twitch up a little at that, she knew him it was clear no matter how he had tried to hide himself, she still managed to find her way in. "Do you have to get ready?" he asked then attempting to change the subject.

"I still have some time," Relena smiled as she stepped away from him shrugging off her business coat and laying it across the end of her bed. She glanced back over her shoulder at him, "Why don't you take off your coat and pretend like you're going to stay for a while."

"I'm coming back today," Heero explained slowly sliding the heavy coat off his left shoulder keeping his movements careful on his right side. The muscles in his shoulder had locked up tighter since the morning and it was going to take some work to get them to loosen up again.

The smile on Relena's face upon hearing of his return faded as she watched him her eyes very intent. "Are you alright?" she crossed the room back to his side her hands going immediately for his right side, "What happened to you're arm?"

He had to have expected her to notice, but still he had wished she wouldn't have. It was only going to bring up a lot of questions he'd rather not answer if he could avoid it. "The muscles are just a little stiff," it really wasn't anything to be concerned about, nothing a few days wouldn't solve.

Relena took his coat from his hand and draped it over a chair as she lead him with her other hand towards the padded bench at the end of her bed, "How'd it happen?" she was as full of questions as Jay had been, and Heero wasn't at all surprised that he enjoyed them more from her than Jay, though he'd still prefer to avoid them altogether. She made to push him down to sit, and Heero though capable of fighting against her complied enjoying this private moment with her

Heero twisted to look at Relena as she shifted to the bed behind him her small hands finding a place on his stiff shoulder. He hesitated to give her a straight answer simply because he would have preferred to forget that time away had happened, he just wanted to get on with things now. But he could see a light in Relena's eyes as she continued to wait for his response that said she wasn't going to take any vague half answers. "I spent some time at a dojo, I had to pull a punch the day before," his tone shrugged the matter aside.

"Must have been a fast punch," Relena commented rather pointedly slipping her warm hands into his shirt. For a moment she began to massage the knotted muscles, but she stopped suddenly and leaned around him her straight blond hair sweeping off her back to create a curtain. "Why don't you take off your shirt, so I can massage your shoulder properly."

"This isn't necessary," he told her finding her lips so close to his own to be irresistible, and he stole a quick kiss, which brought a smile to Relena's face.

"I know that, but it's something I want to do," she stole a kiss of her own, "So off with your shirt."

That caused Heero to hesitate he could feel the brand suddenly upon his back, though he told himself it was nothing more than a crazy weakness. His impromptu conversation with Jay did little to ease his discomfort over having been branded against his will. He doubted seriously there was anything anyone could say or do that would bring him to accept this mark. Relena appeared to become impatient with his lack of movement and reached across him beginning to unbutton the shirt. That snapped Heero out of his daze and he reached for her hands to stop her.

She pouted at him but clearly wasn't ready to back down just yet, "I'm just trying to help you," Relena worked at slipping her hands out of his so she could try again.

"It's alright really."

"You'd say that if your arm was hanging by a thread," Relena countered kissing his cheek. Heero just shook his head, not about to agree or deny what she had said, "I saw how stiffly you were moving it, so let me help you."

It wasn't exactly a plea, or a demand, this was just something Relena was determined to do for him. He remained motionless for a moment longer before his hands began to move on their own undoing the last of the buttons so he could slide the shirt off his shoulder. As soon as he shoulder had been exposed Relena kissed him again and pulled back her warm hands settling on his skin. Within seconds she was massaging deeply searching out the knots and slowly working them out. He remained still as she worked, enjoying the moment when the knot finally released and the ache abated a little more.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	54. The Proving Grounds

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: **SURPRISE**! A regular update! Thank you all so much for your patience, and sticking with me through that long stretch of time! This is a part of the story I've been looking forward to for a long time now. I'll be introducing a character in the next chapter (there was reference to him in the chapter 61 preview) his name is Jay. He's based off my first karate instructor (smiles) some of what the character says are actual quote I got from Sensei (laughs) I'm not entirely sure how he feels about that. But I do know he was disappointed not to be an 'Ultimate Evil Guy'

A huge thanks to **morgansgirl**

**Wufei-the-back-side-slayer**: Thank you! Believe me I hated being gone for so long too! I have an easier time writing when I've posted, so the longer I go without the harder it is for me to continue. I'm really glad at how the preview for chapter 61 went over (laughs) hopefully we'll be there before long. Heero always chooses black? I hadn't noticed that (laughs) I guess its just coincidence. I hope you enjoy these two chapters! Thanks again for the review!

**L.A.UNE**: More I bring you More (laughs) Thanks so much! Enjoy!

**D3**: Thanks for the reviews! I hadn't actually considered sunburn, but that would be bad I ought to know, I burn ridiculously easily (Bitter grumbles). I had been wracking my brains trying to think of how she should approach him, but it suddenly happened in the story, though it would have been harder to write if she had done it earlier when Heero wasn't as mobile. Thanks again!

**Raizard333**: How's this for a fast update? Yep Heero's names going to be cleared but it's still a while away, I hope you enjoy these chapters! Thanks for the review!

**IchioKitsuneKoumori**: Thanks for the reviews! Think more on what? I hope you enjoy these double chapters!

**mikinyet**: Thank you! I take that as one of the highest compliments, I hope you continue to enjoy!

**jellybean-kitty**: I have updated! Please enjoy! Thanks for the review!

**Tarijima**: Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy these chapters!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam WIng

**The Proving Grounds**

Heero stood in the middle of the room his bare feet resting on the mats that made up the floor of Wufei's training room which they had a slight give to them as he moved about stretching his muscles. He felt a knot of nerves in the pit of his stomach as he worked his limbs carefully all the while feeling watchful eyes upon him. He had been training for weeks fighting against his impatience and frustration to make it to this point. He felt one hundred percent, as he continued to warm up it was early December and at last he felt ready to spar all out against Wufei.

It had taken longer than he had originally wanted to make it to this point, but he felt a sense of self satisfaction at having made it here. Heero's cobalt eyes flickered briefly over to the far wall near the door where Relena sat on a bench watching a sparkle in her eyes and a smile on her face. Along with her sat John and Sally, Une also had found the time to come along with the other pilots, only Quatre was missing from their ranks. He noted also Leon standing close to John, this had been the first time Heero had actually felt welcome to her presence. He wanted her to see what he was capable of.

He had sparred against Wufei before along with Duo and Trowa, but it had been lighter than it would be today. They had followed the standard rules back then, merely allowing Heero to brush up on his instincts and get his limbs to respond as he wanted them too. Today there was to be no holds barred, just the way Heero liked it. The mat was entirely clear except for himself and Wufei who stood across from him warming up in much the same way. Everything leading up to this moment suddenly felt entirely worth it to Heero. He was excited, an emotion he had not felt since the thrill of battle so long ago, he missed the kick of adrenaline.

Bouncing slightly on his toes feeling comfortable in his body at last Heero knew he still had weakness, his endurance needed work so he couldn't afford to let this drag for too long. And his ribs were tender still so he'd have to protect them from attack, in fights like these they were not accustom to making allowances for injuries. As it was said anything goes. Heero focused his attention on Wufei the Chinese man having finished his preparations and was now standing calmly across from him face expressionless, body at the ready.

Heero felt himself draw in a breath blocking out anything that wasn't important as his focus narrowed in on Wufei. He'd remain aware of his surroundings and the people in the room but so long as they didn't interfere the acknowledgment wouldn't go beyond cursory. Setting himself into a comfortable fighting stance he watched his opponent do the same, his onyx eyes devoid of anything he might have been thinking. No words passed between them but they both knew the fight was on. Slowly Heero began to circle to the left while Wufei matched him moving to the right. Their eyes searched for openings and a tension began to build between them as they anticipated who would make the first move.

A second later they both exploded into motion their attacks clashing off each other's blocks. Heero's eyes narrowed and he ducked beneath Wufei's next strike using his smaller stature to his advantage. Coming up behind Heero raised his knee for a solid blow but was deflected as Wufei spun to meet him a dangerous glint in those onyx eyes. The fight was close quarters and very fast, hardly a chance to think before the next attack was coming at you. Heero hardly noted the clash of their limbs as he blocked catching Wufei's arm, he didn't hold it for long knowing it could be more of a disadvantage but jumped back giving himself a little breathing room.

His heart pounded in his ears and his lungs took in steady breaths of air, he felt great as he brought his leg up to snap under Wufei's guard. The Chinese man caught Heero's leg in a firm hold and he was left with a split second to decide what he wanted to do. Dropping himself down Heero sprung on his hands and swung his right leg out to kick at Wufei's feet. He was released automatically as Wufei jumped away, no advantage gained only a little more knowledge about his own abilities right now.

Snapping back to his feet Heero remained crouched in a low guard observing his opponent feeling his lips creep up ever so slightly. Vaguely he caught the sounds of conversations taking place near the door, but he tuned them out not wanting to be distracted for a moment. Even that second was almost too much, Wufei charged at him, an intimidating show of force to a novice fighter but Heero was far from that. Catching himself up in Wufei's arms Heero took Wufei's momentum and fell back throwing Wufei over top of him as he did. Heero leapt to his feet a second later having not caught his friend by surprise, Wufei was nearly on top of him fist flying eyes locked on Heero's chest searching for signs of movement much as Heero's own were doing.

Heero blocked high slipping low intent on throwing Wufei again, but it left his side open for a strike if Wufei could move fast enough to deliver it. The former pilot kicked at the back of Heero's leg instead pulling free and leaving Heero's side untouched. Heero threw himself into a forward shoulder role coming up facing the direction he had come, his expression growing grim. Had Wufei purposefully missed that opening? Heero didn't want to consider the implications of that thought, and wasn't given time to as once more Wufei came at him relentlessly.

Blocking as quickly as he could Heero felt his breaths begin to shorten as his endurance slowly waned. He wouldn't be able to keep up this pace for much longer, but he wasn't ready to stop at the moment either; he wanted to go longer to discover if Wufei had purposefully missed. Heero came in a little more recklessly pushing himself drawing on the adrenaline that continued to fill his veins. He knew he was leaving himself open his sides specifically but his head also, to Wufei they'd be glaring, but he went for none of them. His friend blocked each strike dealing attempts of his own but not to any of the gaps leaving Heero an easy chance to defend.

Heero's anger erupted, he was being played! Wufei was going easy on him, he wasn't taking this seriously at all! Suddenly all the excitement he had felt at the beginning of the fight vanished and he was only left with boiling rage. Feeding upon that fire Heero charged in all the harder forcing Wufei back with the sudden strength of his attack. He pressed the Chinese man hard against the wall his right fist pulling back and without hesitation he released slugging Wufei across the jaw. It was the first solid blow to be landed and Heero noticed the entire room had gone silent.

Glaring daggers of hatred Heero pressed with all his strength against Wufei's chest crushing him to the wall his angered breaths coming in quick gasps. Without a word he turned away and stormed across the mat his head down unruly hair shielding his face from view. He heard the voices spring up, questions and praise alike, but he ignored them all forcing his way through. Heero grabbed his shoes quickly and tore the sweatshirt from off the bench that John had brought for him; without looking back he left the room behind.

Once in the hall Heero broke out into a run, knowing John and Relena at least would be fast on his heels. He didn't want to speak to any of them at the moment, was too pissed off, couldn't trust himself to not say something he wouldn't regret. He took a moment once inside the elevator, pressing the stop button so he could take a moment to think. Leaning back against the far wall Heero slammed both fists against the hard metal. What the hell had they been thinking! Had this been their plan all along! Just a show? An act?

Heero's fists tightened muscles clenching, there was no mistaking it as much as he didn't want to believe, they didn't trust him, they didn't believe he was actually back. When had they decided to put on this little charade? Had it just been Wufei's idea? Or had they all come up with this plan? Heero shook his head body trembling with his tightly held anger, it didn't matter, he had fought to get back on his feet, had thought he had proven himself. Only to see now that they were determined to coddle him.

He couldn't remain here, he had to prove to them once and for all that he wasn't helpless that he was still a Gundam pilot and deserved their respect. Not at all sure what he was going to do Heero selected a floor and got the elevator moving again, pulling the sweater over his head finding himself starting to feel cold now that he wasn't moving. He had just finished putting on his shoes when the doors opened and Heero strode off down the hall. He wonder where they would look first, how long it would take for them to realize he wasn't in the building any longer, would they even consider that as a possibility? And what would they do when they did realize? Heero didn't care, he was leaving.

WMWMWMW

Wufei massaged his jaw, still leaning against the wall Heero had pressed him to, he sighed, that hadn't gone the way he wanted it too at all. He was ashamed to admit even to himself the surprise he had felt at the sudden veracity Heero had thrown into the fight. Wufei had been fighting back as best he could and still he had been forced against the wall. What bothered him, is he hadn't been expecting it, he had doubted Heero was capable. There had been no turning his friend down, but none of them had been sure he was actually up to the challenge, it would appear they had made a terrible mistake.

"Well that could have gone better…" Duo breathed as he crossed the floor lavender eyes looking back towards the door which had remained open when John and Relena left.

"What now?" Trowa asked, hands in his pockets with whatever he was thinking carefully buried.

"I don't know," he continued to massage his jaw, "Wait for him to cool off I guess…"

"What happened?" Sally's voice spoke up, she sounded confused and irritated, "I'm missing something here."

"We made a mistake," Wufei answered vaguely, his onyx eyes leaving Sally's questioning face as he pushed himself off the wall. "It's been so long he wanted to go all out but I wasn't sure he'd actually be up to it…"

Sally walked along side him, "When was this all arranged?"

"He first wanted to fight a week back," Trowa informed walking on Wufei's opposite side, "But I persuaded him to wait a little longer."

"We decided I'd go all out but avoid striking at his weaknesses," the former pilot bent to pick up a towel resting on the bench and swiped the sweat from his face.

"You honestly thought he wouldn't notice something like that?" Une asked then taking a step closer expression very similar to Sally's.

"I didn't expect him to start leaving himself open," he shook his head feeling a little irritated himself, "Would you have wanted me punching him in the ribs?" he demanded of Sally.

She shook her head, "No, but then I didn't think this was a good idea from the moment I walked in here."

"When would it have been?" it was Duo who spoke up then, "When would we have thought he'd be ready for this? It had to happen sometime."

Wufei sighed, "Just wish it had gone a little better…"

WMWMWMW

Heero pushed open the heavy metal door and stepped out into the chilly underground parking lot. He had hardly been thinking while he moved through the agency all he knew was he needed to be away from here. He wasn't going to simply go back to his room and brood, he was going to prove to them that he wasn't helpless. It hadn't been too difficult for him to slip through the halls unnoticed. It was after all a Sunday which meant there wasn't as many agents within the building. Heero hoped it also meant he'd have an easier time getting outside.

He walked among the cars careful not to look suspicious, as he slowly made his way towards the entrance gate. Heero's eyes focused in on the security post, this was the last obstacle standing in his way of the outside world, and then what? He hadn't really considered it yet, was still too pissed off, but Heero knew he was leaving the agency behind completely unprepared, with nothing more than the cloths on his back. But that didn't necessarily leave him at a complete disadvantage, he knew of something that—if still where he left it—would be of great service.

His breaths misted in the air before him and his body shivered for what he had on wasn't warm enough, but it would do he could ignore the cold well enough, and he would put some distance between himself and the other pilots. Shifting closer to the far wall Heero took note of the surveillance cameras positioning knowing where its blind spot was. He was hyper aware of his surroundings not wanting to be caught off guard, or caught at all for that matter, his attention focused in on the single guard seated in the booth. The man looked relaxed with his eyes focused on a book, understandable especially on a day such as this it was quiet, no one expected anything.

Pausing for a moment to make sure he'd be able to slip by without being noticed Heero moved forward still holding close to the wall and slipped out into the sunlight. He took a couple of seconds to re-familiarize himself with the surrounding area around the agency. He needed to remember where the package had been left, it was his best chance to make it on his own right now.

WMWMWMW

John sighed in worry and frustration, it had been several hours now, and still they had not been able to find Heero. He had known immediately something had gone terribly wrong when he saw Heero storm across the mat after punching Wufei. But by the time he and Relena had rushed into the hall to follow him the doors to the elevator had already closed. John stepped into Heero's room his brown eyes scanning over the empty bed, he sighed again. They had searched everywhere immediately after but had found no signs of Heero, he hadn't even come back to his room. None of them had wanted to consider the possibility that he might had actually left the agency, but seeing how they couldn't find him that was looking disturbingly more probable.

He tried to reassure himself, Heero wasn't a child; much as John might still think of him as such, Heero was an adult whom had lived through many dangerous experiences. None of it helped however, as John laughed at himself softly, he really did worry about Heero like he would any of his children. And just like with his children John felt anger at having to worry about him. It was one thing for him to worry, but John thought it was entirely unfair to Relena, who was deeply concerned about where Heero had gone off too. It had taken a great deal to convince her there was nothing they could do but wait for Heero to contact them, and even longer for Trowa to get her to agree to go home.

Sally's reaction to this event rather surprised John, the more time that passed without word or sign of Heero, the more pissed off she became. In a very bazaar way John wondered if this act might mend things between them fully, if Sally could become so angry at the boy that no amount of guilt would stop her. He hoped at least something good could come from his reckless decision, as it was John definitely wanted to give him a piece of his mind.

WMWMWMW

Heero made his way slowly through the snow as it varied in depth among the trees. He certainly wasn't dressed for any of it. His toes were numb but he pressed on, his destination wasn't that much further and determination drove him on. During the war he had not been sure who to trust. Dr J had trained him to be self reliant, and to help in that he had had secured packages placed in key areas in case Heero needed money or supplies. He had made use of some of them over the years but this one had remained untouched, when he had been in Sank during the war everything had been provided for him by Relena and Noin, there hadn't been any need to waste it. His memories were a little vague as to its location therefore he had taken the opportunity to make sure the package had been where J said it would be but had left it alone.

Reaching an old gnarled tree Heero drew in a breath and dropped down digging away at the frozen snow with soon frozen fingers; he blocked it all out only thinking about the goal. He wasn't sure how long he worked at it before he finally found what he had been searching for, numb fingers closed over a frozen handle and Heero pulled himself back to his feet along with the metal case, it felt like lead to his arm but he hauled it up and turned back the way he had come. About half way back to the road Heero forced his tired body to move faster, really pushing himself trying to keep warm. He wasn't far from the city and a warm room, but his mind was feeling fogged and his body sleepy, a bad sign.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he reached the city, his eyes already searching out a hotel where he could stay. Cars drove past him on the streets but the walkways were near empty much to Heero's relief he could only imagine how he might stand out dressed as he was. It didn't take long to find a suitably small establishment, but before he walked in Heero ducked down a deserted ally and placed the case before him. It was locked but the combination was really no challenge to remember they had all been the rough longitude and latitude of the location where the case had been hidden. His fingers, still numb didn't want to respond but after a few attempts Heero got the case to open and pulled out a handful of credits, enough to cover the room.

The warmth of the hotel surrounded him the second he walked through the door, but he didn't take the time to savor it, he was too tired to linger. He wanted to get his room as quickly as possible. Heero Yuy was dead had been for several months, but that didn't mean Heero felt comfortable around them, they wouldn't be looking for him but why risk it? Walking up to the front desk, he paid for a room and received his key, he had paid in advance for two nights not knowing how long he wanted to remain here. If the pilots did try searching for him this establishment might be one of the first places they'd look. That thought infuriated him, they had no right to come searching for him.

He walked to his room in a haze, opening the door Heero placed the case on the small bed and opened it again reaching in to remove the clothes that it held. It wasn't much but at least they were dry, Heero had never cared about his height but this was the first time he was actually grateful that he hadn't grown since the war. Shrugging into a sweatshirt Heero pulled on a dry pair of jeans and huddled on his bed waiting for his limbs to fully warm. His eyes fell closed for several minutes as he just gave himself a moment to rest, he had been running full tilt for far longer than he had in months. Adrenalin had driven him but it was gone now leaving him completely drained.

Surrounded by the silence of his room, and no longer having a goal fixed in his mind Heero's thoughts returned to the fight, in his mind he could see it exactly as it had happened. He had been waiting for this day for far too long, had been fighting every day to return to the man he had been, and now to have had this happen. To discover his friends didn't trust his recovery, it was a slap to the face he had not been able to prepare himself for. His fists clenched gripping the bed that he lay on as the anger returned, a fire igniting within him though he felt no warmth from it. He continued to lay there for several minutes waiting to see if the rage might pass, but he already knew it was a futile effort.

Sitting up suddenly and taking hold of the phone Heero dialed Wufei's cell, not positive about what he was going to say, but he felt in that moment that he had to do something to relieve a little of the rage that was coursing through him. Besides if they weren't already positive that he had left this would confirm it.

"Wufei here," the Chinese man answered unsuspecting.

"You honestly didn't think I'd notice?" he demanded venom dripping from his voice.

Silence was his answer for several seconds, just as Heero had expected he didn't actually think Wufei would have an excuse. And he wasn't about to wait for Wufei to come up with one, he seriously doubted it but he wasn't about to risk them tracing this call. Slamming the phone down he took in several calming breaths before turning his attention back to the case he had brought in with him. He wanted to search through it to see what was actually of use to him, but he really felt too tired to bother. Pulling back the blankets from the bed Heero slipped his thin body beneath them and settled in his eyes falling closed once more.

WMWMWMW

Wufei stared silently at his cell phone still held in his hand, he knew he was being watched but didn't much want to speak with any of them. "Fuck…" he exhaled finally slamming his head back against the wall he was leaning against.

"Heero?" John asked.

"Yeah," Wufei shook his head finally putting the cell away, "He's pissed, can't say I blame him either…"

"Do we have any idea where he is?" it was Sally who asked her eyes intent, her stance firm. Wufei had noticed a drastic change in her over these few hours that Heero had been missing, he wouldn't say she was exactly as he remembered her, but it was a step closer.

"I have no idea, and I'm not about to go searching for him," he responded firmly that would be the worst mistake they could make right now.

"That'd only piss him off more," Duo commented.

"So you're just going to leave him?" she sounded incredulous, "He's supposed to be dead! There's no way he should be just wandering around out there."

"You want to be the one to bring him in?" they had all gathered together after bringing Relena home for the night, and up till now Trowa hadn't spoken.

Sally hesitated at that, but didn't look the least bit pleased with how they had chosen to deal with this, "So what do we do now?"

"We wait until he's ready to come back in, he's just making a point," _a point we should have realised before this_ Wufei thought. But couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if he had fought without considering Heero's injuries? Would Heero have been grateful to find himself gasping for breath on the floor? Somehow Wufei doubted it, he had been caught between a rock and a hard place.

WMWMWMW

Heero woke groggily the next morning, his body and mind both not wanting to wake just yet, he took a moment to savor the warmth before forcing himself up. His muscles were stiff and sore protesting everything he tried to do, despite what happened yesterday the feeling was welcomed, and Heero moved each muscle carefully before he got to his feet. Walking into his small bathroom Heero quickly showered, the water feeling like ice against his skin before he returned to his room and dressed. He then set to work taking measure of his meager supplies. The case contained about a weeks worth of military rations, two hand guns and several spare clips along with the clothes he now wore there was a large amount of credits. It was enough to supply him with whatever else he'd need.

Pulling on his still damp shoes Heero made for the door with a pocket full of credits, he needed to get some warmer cloths if he didn't want to have to return to the agency. He knew he would return, but only after he felt he had made his point, that he did not need or want to be coddled by any of them. He was a former pilot, he could take care of himself. Walking past the front desk Heero didn't look at the old man seated behind it as he had been the evening before, though he could feel the man's eyes on him as he walked from the hotel.

The day was over cast much to Heero's relief as the ache behind his right eye was a little more prominent today than it had been the day before. He walked down the sidewalk head down face shadowed by his unruly hair, he moved among the people easily enough choosing to take the less traveled side streets wherever possible. He didn't have a specific destination in mind, as much as he was looking for a store where he could purchase a winter coat he was also just simply exploring the city as he had not had an occasion to do before now. As Heero made his way into the business district of Sank, his head came up glancing at the signs he passed until he found his desired store.

Walking inside Heero took little time selecting a warm coat, the only issue he had was finding one that would fit him. In the end he had to settle on something that was a little big, but it would keep him warm, Heero also sought out some sweaters and a few t-shirts to wear underneath. He finished off with three pares of jeans, paying for his items without a word to the clerk, who looked to be in his late thirties, Heero walked from the store now wearing his winter coat. It made a world of difference as he continued on his way not really searching for anything in specific just taking his time to search through this huge city.

Heero stopped for lunch at a small café on the corner of a quiet road, he had hardly eaten the day before and was now truly feeling hungry. So it was not an effort for him to sit down and order something in the quickly filling little restaurant. The hum and buzz of conversations surrounded him where he sat in a booth near the back of the store and his eyes swept over every person who entered or left, it was a habit he had never been able to break. As he settled in to begin his meal Heero found his eyes seeking out the large screen TVs suspended from the ceiling about the restaurant displaying a twenty-four hour news channel. An image of Relena caught and held his attention like an iron vice, she was speaking before a crowd of people, though he could not hear her voice he couldn't take his eyes off her.

He had felt nothing but his rage as he stormed from the agency leaving behind the friends that wouldn't trust in his abilities, but he had also left her behind. He had been shielding himself from thinking about that up until now. Heero knew if he thought about her too much, he'd begin to feel the void in his life that she left behind whenever she wasn't around him. He couldn't remember ever feeling like he needed her as much as he had these last few months. It was a hard realization to come to, and an even harder feeling to accept. He didn't like the thought that he was dependant on anyone, least of all when he couldn't explain to himself why he thought he needed her. Somehow her smile just calmed him, a tension released from his shoulders and he felt as though he could breathe a little easier, it was baffling to him.

A slight frown touched briefly upon Relena's face as she walked from the spotlight to continue her day. Despite his best efforts to remain distant, he didn't want to leave her worrying about him. It wasn't fair to her, she hadn't been a part of what happened, at least not that he knew of. He wanted to relieve her mind a little if that was possible, calling her was out of the question, he wouldn't be able to get directly through to her. And trying to get through via one of the pilots was also not an option, he wasn't about to contact any of them until he was ready to return. That left him with emailing her, an option that wasn't really easy but was not impossible. Finishing his meal Heero left some money on the table and walked from the café beginning his search for a computer.

Thanks for Reading!

**Falling Back on Something Familiar**:

Heero wandered the streets and alleys of Sank with no direction in mind. He had only been gone for one full day and already he was bored. He wasn't accustom to not having something he needed to do, even the days he had been forced to take off during his physical therapy hadn't prepared him for dealing with this. He watched the people walking around him many hurrying for what reasons Heero couldn't begin to imagine, they didn't seem to notice him in the least as he ghosted through them.

He sighed tiredly, sleep hadn't come to him easily last night he wasn't sure why but the nightmares had been far more persistent. It seemed every time he shut his eyes he was bombarded by images and screams that shocked him awake only a half hour later. Finally he had just given up altogether and had left the hotel room at first light. Heero half felt the need to keep a watch over his shoulder expecting to see a Gundam pilot tailing him, he fought against the urge pushing his fist deeply into his coat pockets and pressed on.

Coming to a stop at a busy intersection Heero paused considering where he wanted to go next. He ducked back into the shadows adjusting the sunglasses he had bought earlier in the day when the sun had broken through the clouds, and just studied his surroundings. People walked with packages in hand all appearing lost in their own little worlds as they hurried this way and that, Heero couldn't imagine living a life like that. His hidden cobalt eyes raised from the throng of people to a large billboard plastered on the side of a brick building and a hint of a smirk touched his face. The image displayed a rather good portrayal of Zero, which didn't really surprise Heero, his gundam had had more than enough recorded time in the news for proper models to be made. What did surprise Heero was the man standing in what he supposed would be a dashing pose holding a helmet beneath his arm.

_Is that their idea of a Gundam pilot?_ he wondered silently almost feeling like laughing at the sight. It was hard to tell from the image as it had been taken, but the man appeared to be tall broad shouldered and far older than any of the Gundam pilots had ever been, or were now for that matter. Shaking his head Heero pulled his eyes from the billboard, pleased at least that it appeared that they wouldn't be portrayed as the enemies. It was in the direction of that billboard that Heero finally decided to head in that road looking a little less crowded than the rest of the city had been so far.

His eyes scanned the buildings he passed noting residences and shops sitting side by side some set back with small yards others opening out directly to the side walk. It was early afternoon and Heero was glad that he was walking with the sun mostly to his back, his eyes having been light sensitive since the early morning. A simply lighted sign caught Heero's attention then, he had only glanced briefly towards it before he found himself walking across the street like a moth drawn to flame. He wondered if this might be the answer to his boredom, he certainly hoped so.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	55. Falling Back on Something Familiar

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: I hope everyone enjoyed the last chapter, and now on to the next! I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my Sensei! Though he may never see this here I can tell him I did, I'm sure he'll be thrilled (laughs)

Thanks again to **morgansgirl **you're awesome!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing

**Falling Back on Something Familiar**

Relena sat alone in her room early in the morning on Tuesday the 5th of December, she had gone through the previous day in a distracted fog. Unable to keep her mind focused on the tasks at hand when all she wanted to do was worry about was Heero and where he had gone off too. She had wanted to race after him, but had no idea where to begin looking. It hurt her deeply that he would do something like this, she had hoped he would at least contact her to let her know he was alright. She understood he had called Wufei, but hadn't said very much, or so he had told her. Getting up from the edge of her bed Relena walked across the soft carpet to her vanity where she had placed a laptop earlier, she checked perhaps futilely hoping that Heero might try to contact her.

Opening her email Relena browsed through the subject headings passing up most of them as the usual stuff memos from politicians and other government workers. She sighed dropping her head onto one fist, there were so many of them. She saw it then a single email among dozens there was nothing obvious about the subject line, but she knew immediately it was from him. Opening it Relena's crystal blue eyes scanned over its contents an unknowingly held breath slowly released. It was barely more then a sentence, but it wasn't like she had expected anything longer, not from Heero, she was just grateful to hear anything from him.

_Sorry I left without telling you, this is something I need to do. I'll be in touch. Heero_

Relena smiled removing the email before closing the laptop down, she had a day to get ready for and she actually now felt that she could deal with her schedule. She very much wanted to see him, to make sure with her own eyes that he was alright. But she understood just what this meant to him, he had been dependant on others for far too long, now was his chance to prove to himself along with the others that he hadn't changed. She only prayed he'd come back soon, she didn't want to spend any more time apart from him than she already had.

WMWMWMW

Heero wandered the streets and alleys of Sank with no direction in mind. He had only been gone for one full day and already he was bored. He wasn't accustom to not having something he needed to do, even the days he had been forced to take off during his physical therapy hadn't prepared him for dealing with this. He watched the people walking around him many hurrying for what reasons Heero couldn't begin to imagine, they didn't seem to notice him in the least as he ghosted through them.

He sighed tiredly, sleep hadn't come to him easily last night he wasn't sure why but the nightmares had been far more persistent. It seemed every time he shut his eyes he was bombarded by images and screams that shocked him awake only a half hour later. Finally he had just given up altogether and had left the hotel room at first light. Heero half felt the need to keep a watch over his shoulder expecting to see a Gundam pilot tailing him, he fought against the urge pushing his fist deeply into his coat pockets and pressed on.

Coming to a stop at a busy intersection Heero paused considering where he wanted to go next. He ducked back into the shadows adjusting the sunglasses he had bought earlier in the day when the sun had broken through the clouds, and just studied his surroundings. People walked with packages in hand all appearing lost in their own little worlds as they hurried this way and that, Heero couldn't imagine living a life like that. His hidden cobalt eyes raised from the throng of people to a large billboard plastered on the side of a brick building and a hint of a smirk touched his face. The image displayed a rather good portrayal of Zero, which didn't really surprise Heero, his gundam had had more than enough recorded time in the news for proper models to be made. What did surprise Heero was the man standing in what he supposed would be a dashing pose holding a helmet beneath his arm.

_Is that their idea of a Gundam pilot?_ he wondered silently almost feeling like laughing at the sight. It was hard to tell from the image as it had been taken, but the man appeared to be tall broad shouldered and far older than any of the Gundam pilots had ever been, or were now for that matter. Shaking his head Heero pulled his eyes from the billboard, pleased at least that it appeared that they wouldn't be portrayed as the enemies. It was in the direction of that billboard that Heero finally decided to head in that road looking a little less crowded than the rest of the city had been so far.

His eyes scanned the buildings he passed noting residences and shops sitting side by side some set back with small yards others opening out directly to the side walk. It was early afternoon and Heero was glad that he was walking with the sun mostly to his back, his eyes having been light sensitive since the early morning. A simply lighted sign caught Heero's attention then, he had only glanced briefly towards it before he found himself walking across the street like a moth drawn to flame. He wondered if this might be the answer to his boredom, he certainly hoped so.

WMWMWMW

"Always remember," Jay announced at the front of the class with numerous little eyes watching him intently, "Advancing you turn 'cause _Turn_ starts with a 'T'." The children giggled at that but it did help them remember, smiling broadly Jay restarted his count in Japanese watching as the children advanced across the floor in low long stances faces becoming intense.

Jay watched them for several minutes, before halting them again, "Your stances are narrowing, I want to see you make nice large 'Cs' on the ground." He demonstrated for them all what he was searching for sweeping his legs smoothly across the carpeted floor, "Pretend you're weaving around dead bodies." More laughter greeted his words but he had found through years of teaching as odd as it was this was the best way to get through to his students.

It took a moment to refocus them again as it was nearing the end of their lesson, and as he again began his count Jay noted a boy walking into the dojo through the front door. Silhouetted by the sun it was difficult for Jay to make out the boy's face, but he thought by height and size that he couldn't have been more than fifteen or sixteen. As the clock on the far wall struck four o'clock Jay drew his young students to the front of the class and bowed them out. They were all members of a private school within Sank. He had a contract with the school and he taught their student's karate as a part of there physical education and was paid very well for it. The children loved coming and learned much more from him besides just self defense, he had heard about the changes the teachers had found among the children since they had been attending karate classes.

With a smile he dismissed the children to the locker room to get changed before their bus arrived to take them back to class. Once the floor was clear Jay walked across the open area towards his new guest. The boy hadn't moved far from his position by the door, and he appeared to be studying his surroundings. Still unable to make out the boy's face Jay moved closer curious about his new arrival.

WMWMWMW

Heero walked slowly into the dojo silently noting that a class was in session, the sensei standing at the head of the room directing his students in their studies. Taking the time to look about his surroundings Heero noted the belts on display on the wall going from white to black, it was a common display in most dojo's Heero knew though he had not actually been a part of one officially before. The actual floor of the dojo was through an archway Heero stood in what most resembled a foyer, there were a few chairs and hooks for hanging coats as well as a desk with a door behind it that appeared to lead to an office.

After a moment Heero returned his attention to the class that was coming to a close, the children bowing themselves off the mat before ducking into the change rooms on the far left. Their sensei came walking across the mat, his blue eyes watching Heero intently before he turned himself to bow off the mat. The sensei was of average height for a man with short reddish hair that was close cut to his head, he also sported a goatee and a friendly smile. "Welcome," he greeted walking through the archway a hand extended to Heero immediately, "I'm Jason Kearney."

"Odin Lowe," Heero answered having used that alias before.

There was a slight light of surprise in Jason's eyes as he looked Heero over, "Are you interested in joining our club?" the sensei asked then, and Heero simply nodded. "Excellent, have you any experience in the martial arts?" he inquired stepping around the desk and began searching through some papers there.

Heero considered the question for a fraction of a second, he had to say yes he had far to much knowledge to say otherwise, "Yes," problem was he knew that would bring more questions.

"Great," Jason smiled looking up, "What form was it?"

"I've done some freestyle and traditional," it was a vague answer at best, and Jason knew it his eyes studied Heero anew as he slowly nodded his head.

"I see, what belt did you attain?" his next question was a little harder to handle.

Heero remembered the line of belts on the wall, "Brown," at times his training had been very similar to an actual dojo, but belts had never been introduced to him. He thought that rank would safely explain his skill without drawing attention.

Jason smiled placing a sheet of paper and pen on the raised counter of the desk, "Were you wanting to start today? We offer a free first class if you like."

"I'll pay now," Heero responded with a shake of his head, "I wouldn't be able to purchase a gi and belt here would I?" That raised an eyebrow, "Lost in a fire a few months back," he knew it sounded way to convenient but what else could he say?

"Yeah," Jay nodded and odd expression on his face before he glanced back over his shoulder, "I think I might have something back here that'll fit you, just fill that form out."

Heero pulled his eyes off the door that Jason disappeared behind and looked down at the piece of paper laying in front of him. The form looked standard enough, it wanted his name age and address, the first two were easy enough to fill in, he hesitated at address and looked down the page at the rest. It all went downhill from there, emergency contact, doctor none of which he could fill in.

WMWMWMW

Jay looked back at the young man standing by his desk as he searched for a gi, in the first few minutes of speaking with him Jay realised his mistake. Odin was not sixteen, he had to be a little older than that, though Jay couldn't be exactly sure. That wasn't what really struck him about the youth, he was small, and thin, hard to tell how thin under the baggy clothes but Jay didn't think it looked healthy. He was also scarred his face and hand, they stood out to Jay and he wondered if they were signs of another young man with a hard life. He had seen many of them come and go over the years, had tried to help them as best he could, and he was pretty sure he had succeeded.

He puzzled over the answers Odin had given to his questions they had seemed oddly convenient, he knew it might have been jumping to conclusions, after only speaking to him for a few minutes; but he had learned to be a good judge of people. He wondered at Odin's skills, had he actually attained a brown belt in any form of martial arts? Jay supposed he'd have to have some skill, only a fool would claim to when he had none. Finding the items he had been searching for Jay returned to the desk where Odin waited the pen resting beside the paper.

Placing the gi and belt on the counter he passed them across to the quiet young man and took hold of the paper. Curiosity drew his eyes to the age Odin had filled in and felt surprised to see that he was twenty, his eyes shot up very quickly to study Odin's face yet again seeing him in a slightly different light. Returning to the paper Jay noted all the missing information, he put the sheet down, "There's a lot missing from this…" he looked directly at Odin.

Odin's expression was unreadable as he looked Jay in the eyes, "You didn't put down your address? A contact? Not even a phone number?"

Odin shrugged his right shoulder "Just moved here haven't actually found a place to stay yet…" it was another convenient answer, though Jay knew it could well be true, but it just didn't feel right.

"Well could I have a number from where you lived before? A contact?" he took up the pen, "Accidents happen, and I like to have a number for everyone, just to be on the safe side."

"There really isn't anyone," Odin responded evasively.

"Hmmm…" Jay sighed, looking away from Odin as a barrage of voices broke the silence between them.

"Bye Sensei!" the children smiled and waved as they headed towards the door where their bus was waiting for them.

"See you tomorrow," he waved goodbye and waited for all of them to leave before he returned his attention to Odin. It looked to him as though the young man had suddenly become agitated, whether that was from the questions Jay had been asking or the sudden passing of the kids the sensei didn't know. He did come to a decision however, Odin looked like another runaway, Jay knew he could be wrong but right now everything was pointing him in that direction, so he'd treat this as he had before.

"So you aren't staying anywhere right now…" he leaned on the counter with the paper and pen in hand, "I have a spare room that I rent out on occasion."

WMWMWMW

Heero blinked in surprise at the sudden offer, he didn't know what to think of it, or this man standing before him, he knew Jason was watching him closely but he didn't feel threatened. He was, however, cautious though he didn't get the feeling that Jason suspected who he was, but he wasn't about to just accept this wild offer.

Jason chuckled, "It might seem out of the blue, but I've hosted other's before, you're decision of course," he waited a second before his blue eyes fell back to the form. "You don't have any medical conditions that I should know about?"

Heero shook his head immediately remembering how close he had come to filling in Sally's name and number under the area left for doctor's information. The last thing he wanted was her being called in for any reason, he didn't want any of them to find him. Perhaps Jason's offer was a good one, what were the chances that the pilots would ever look for him here? "That room…" he said a little awkwardly.

"You interested?" Jason asked a smile spreading across his face.

"It'd help," Heero nodded, "So what do I owe you?"

"Don't worry about that just yet," he shook his head.

"I said I'd pay now," Heero returned instantly, not wanting to be a burden to anyone.

The sensei hesitated a moment his eyes flickering over Heero before he finally nodded his head, "Alright, just give me a second." Taking a piece of paper from the desk behind the counter Jason flipped it over and scribbled down some numbers before passing it over to Heero, "Will that be alright?"

It was less than Heero had expected, and he wondered if Jason was cutting corners for him, for whatever reason, but he just nodded his head and reached into his pocked for the needed credits. That drew another raised eyebrow from Jason but he pulled the money off the counter and quickly put it away in his office, "Well then shall I show you to a locker where you can keep your stuff? Or I could bring you up to the room if you'd prefer?"

"Locker's fine," Heero nodded and took hold of the gi and belt following behind Jason as he led him through the arch way into the main room. They hung close to the wall walking between the three feet from the wall and the tapped off line of the mat over to the door labeled 'Boy's', Jason pushed his way in and walked over to the far wall opening a locker seemingly at random.

"Oh I forgot to mention, my adult classes are four till six Monday, Wednesday and Friday." Jason explained leaning against another locker as Heero pulled his coat off, "Tuesday and Thursday are five to eight, they're mostly for the senior belts but I've opened it up to some of the more eager juniors as well."

Heero nodded silently hanging his coat up in the locker while waiting to see if Jason would leave, he didn't think any of his more questionable scars would show if he changed in front of the sensei but he didn't want to risk it. The less questions the better, through the corner of his eye Heero caught sight of Jason glancing at his watch, "I should go back out there, the class will be arriving soon," he offered Heero a smile before turning back towards the door. Breathing a silent sigh of relief Heero quickly changed into the gi and tied the stiff brown belt around his narrow hips.

Walking out of the change room Heero saw Jason standing in the middle of the mat his body shifting from form to form in rapid succession as he preformed a difficult looking kata. Heero leaned back against the wall folding his arms across his chest, he could remember back to when he had been very young J had used katas to teach him. It had been a starting point of sorts in his training, a fight with boundaries so that he could be come accustom to the feel of a fight. As he got older the fights changed becoming truly random and unexpected at times more than a little unfair.

"Odin," Heero blinked looking up from his thoughts to see Jason walking towards him, "You said you've done some traditional forms?" he asked and Heero nodded in response, "What sort of katas did you learn?"

Heero searched his memories to see if he was ever actually told names for them, "Bassai Dai, and Kanku Sho…" there were others Heero could remember vaguely, but he felt the first he was most familiar with.

"Really?" Jason sounded pleased, "Are you at all familiar with Empi and Jion?" he asked, his eyes again looking thoughtful as he studied Heero.

"Yes," Heero nodded those two sounded familiar as well, it had been a long time since he had done any of them, he wondered how well he'd be able to perform if called too.

The former pilot's attention turned towards the door when a large group of people began filtering in, they talked and laughed among each other and he could see immediately that they were a close knit group. Their eager greetings tapered off when they noticed the new face of Heero still leaning against the wall, the vast majority of them looked to be in their mid to late twenties though there were a few far older than that. Jason stepped forward almost immediately and motioned for Heero to follow him, the Japanese man hesitated for a moment but did finally step off the wall.

"Odin Lowe has just joined our club," Jason introduced adjusting the thin rimmed glasses on his face. He then proceeded to introduce every face standing before them, Heero filed the names away and shook the hands that were offered to him not really saying anything, just nodding his head.

About ten minutes later Heero found himself standing on the mat slowly working his muscles as he waited for the class to begin, a few students had emerged from the change rooms but for the moment at least they remained standing off to the side chatting. In the mirrors that lined the right side of the room Heero saw Jason approach him, "You're not all that talkative I see," he said with a laugh crouching down beside Heero. The former pilot glanced his way not at all sure what the sensei was expecting, but his lack of response only made Jason chuckle more "Loosen up you'll have fun here."

_Fun?_ Heero attempted to think of the definition of fun, he knew it was something Ash had tried to introduce him to on more than one occasion. But could he honestly say with any form of normalcy that he actually understood, that he had 'fun' in the same way as the men and women joking and laughing around him? Somehow Heero doubted it, shaking his head subtly Heero got to his feet and moved to the head of the class where Jason was gathering everyone to bow in. He hoped the class would be a challenge, but considering what he was used to dealing with he doubted it.

Jason formally bowed them all in, and within a few minutes the class was on, Jason took his time warming everyone up, there were some jokes and a couple of complaints as the warm up continued getting progressively harder. The sensei just laughed, "You think this is bad?" he asked them all, "Just wait until after Christmas I'll be getting in shape even if it kills you!" there was more laughter than groans in response to that, they really were a close easy group.

Heero remained silently on the outside of it all on the edge of one of the rows that had formed up, watching the men and women around him carefully. Likewise he could feel them watching him they were curious no doubt, but it all felt friendly. Jason pared them up to finish off their warm ups and Heero found himself working with a tall young man named Alan. His brown hair and red beard stood out to Heero's eyes along with an easy smile, "Welcome to the club," he greeted.

"Thanks…" Heero nodded.

"How long have you been training?" Alan asked as they continued to work.

Briefly considering his answer Heero settled on, "Off and on," it was vague as he felt he was going to have to be during his time away.

"You'll like it here," he offered Heero a hand as they both got back to their feet, "We always go out Saturday nights to a local bar, you're more than welcome to come."

He was saved from having to make an answer when Jason suddenly had them forming up in their lines again. Heero felt good, this was a nice change from what he had been doing back at the agency, and he was eager to see what Jason had in store. He hadn't learned in this sort of environment but he had to make it seem like he did, an advantage he had was knowing Japanese, all the requests were given in their traditional form if pronounced a little oddly. When it came to the katas Heero became hyper aware he was not as familiar with the first few, and watched the men and women around him so he could continue to move as they did.

The sensei pushed them harder and harder, he wasn't going to let them make mistakes, each time he saw one they all dropped for ten push ups. The longer it went on the more mistakes he saw, Heero's breaths began to shorten as he worked at keeping his movements sharp and strong. He wasn't going to let this wear him out, he would go as long as the class did, he needed to be able to push himself as hard as his body could stand and then beyond. He hadn't really been able to do that so much back at the agency, he was going to do his best to discover his limits while he was here.

WMWMWMW

Jay watched as the last of his students left the dojo after their lesson. He had stood talking with a few of them as he usually did all the while watching Odin through the corner of his eye. The young man had remained out on the mat for a long time after the class had ended working on his stances and running through a few of the katas they had done as though he were refreshing himself on how they went. It wasn't until after the last of his male students left the change room that Odin walked in himself. He had wondered about that a little but told himself he was being too paranoid. This had seemed like Odin's first class in a while it was just as likely he had lost track of the time than he was trying to hide anything by waiting.

Jay was folding his well worn black belt when Odin re-emerged from the change room, his heavy winter coat on hands hidden deep in his pockets. His unruly hair hung damply in his intense cobalt eyes, Jay couldn't remember the last time he had seen anyone with such intense eyes. "Did you enjoy the class?" he asked as the young man came close.

Odin nodded his head mutely, remaining as he had been for almost the entire class, silent.

"I'm preparing them for a grading coming up in January so classes are getting tougher," he loved gradings it was a time to push his students to the edge and see just how many of them really wanted this. To his surprise most of his students liked these times of the year as much as he.

Odin made his way slowly to the door, "Do you spar often?" he asked, and Jay found himself surprised that he had even spoken.

"Yes, in fact I have a hard time getting the students to go a week without it," he laughed walking along side the young man, "We'll probably be sparing tomorrow actually, is it something you like?" Again Odin mutely nodded, Jay could see this wasn't going to be easy but he was determined to offer Odin whatever assistance he needed. "You headed out to get your things?"

"Yeah, I should be back in an hour," he nodded glancing over his shoulder as he opened the door to walk out into the darkness.

"Would you like a ride?" he offered knowing it was cold out there, and probably feel colder still with Odin's damp head.

"No that's fine," Odin answer before stepping through the doorway.

"Alright I'll be upstairs when you come back, just come on up," his only response in return was a nod of the head as Odin walked down the lamp lit sidewalk.

Jay remained where he was for a few minutes after Odin left, he was an odd one there was no two ways about that. But he couldn't just remain here until the young man returned, giving his head a shake Jay made his way to the back of the dojo and the carpeted staircase that lead up to the second floor and his home. He needed to make a call, he had a friend in the Defense Corp whom he contacted every time he took in a runaway. He would quietly have a report filed on the child he had taken in, and through the Corp make contact with the child's parents.

Seating himself down in front of his vid phone Jay dialed the number and waited hoping his friend would be in, he didn't exactly keep a nine to five schedule. The minute the black screen lit up Jay smiled, "Evening Wufei, I think I've got myself another runaway."

Thanks for Reading!

**Half Truths**:

"Alright," Jay stepped away reaching for a pair of well worn gloves hanging from the wall, "Do you want to lightly spar while we wait? Help you warm up?"

Slipping the other glove on Heero nodded his head while tightening them both into place and moved closer to the middle of the mat watching Jay as he did the same. He settled himself into a fighting stance and watched as the sensei in his black gi calmly walked towards him clearly not ready to begin the fight. Reaching out Jay tapped his gloves against Heero's and then stepped back, "Just a courtesy," he smiled. As Jay set himself into his own fighting stance Heero reminded himself that this wasn't like with the other pilots he was going to have to be careful.

Jay made the first move coming at Heero quickly testing him trying to make and opening, Heero gave him nothing blocked his attacks while returning his own. They moved across the mat using the open space, Heero kicked out with lightning speed and Jay jumped back with a gasp of surprise. The Japanese man kept himself evenly matched with Jay but as they both warmed up, their muscles getting looser they picked up the pace, it was an unspoken agreement, Jay began to move a little faster and Heero was more than content to match him move for move. He wasn't sure what to expect from Jay, and that made it interesting, new, he could see in Jay's eyes that he felt the same way.

Jay was quick, and that surprised him it felt like the sensei was trying to gain the upper hand to put Heero on the defensive. But Heero wasn't about to give in that easily, he still had a lot more he could give. His breathing remained deep and even, and he felt as though he could go like this for quite a while. He knew however that it wasn't due to the fact that his endurance had raised but rather because he wasn't fighting against another pilot. Though neither he nor Jay were going all out, he wondered what that would be like if they did, could Jay give him a run for his money?

Heero's face remained an impassive mask, he avoided Jay's fakes his cobalt eyes remaining fixed on Jay's chest watching for the slightest movement. Through the corner of one eye Heero caught sight of movement, as he ducked a punch throwing one of his own, the students were beginning to arrive. The sensei jumped back, "Your skills are impressive," Jay complimented as he straightened up his stance relaxing, "I'd like to spar you longer, when I have the chance."

Heero nodded in response, walking towards the far side of the room, he could feel eyes watching him and in the mirrors he could see several of the students standing on the edge of the mat. They had been watching the end of the match, and still seemed routed in place he tore his eyes away from the mirror and began calmly stretching his now warm muscles. He also removed the gloves from his hands, and tossed them to the floor as Jay walked up to him.

"Your skills are up there Odin, you've had a lot practice with sparring?" Jay asked after a moment, once the students had moved off to the change rooms.

He shrugged, "It came naturally."

"You weren't giving it your all were you?" the sensei was yet again looking at him as though in a new light.

"Neither were you," Heero thought Jay had the potential to be a lot faster, and he knew he hadn't seen everything Jay could do.

The sensei chuckled, "Fair enough."

Morganeth Taren'drel


	56. Half Truths

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: I'm back again! With another double chapter! I was really surprised by all the comments people had about Jay being so much like their own sensei's (smiles) I should tell him that! Though the sensei's I have now aren't exactly on par with him (laughs) he was very special!

Thank you **morgansgirl **for getting these chapters to me!

**mikinyet**: Thanks so much! That was a scene I really enjoyed writing, unlike most fight scenes it flowed rather nicely…must have been the music I was listening to at the time (laughs) Thanks again!

**L.A.UNE**: Thanks! I hope these live up to the rest and were worth the wait!

**Mini Nicka**: These chapters were a lot of fun for me to write I've actually been looking forward to them since the day I started typing this monster up (laughs) kind of weird to actually be here now! Thanks so much for the reviews

**alexy**: Thank you very much! No worries the pilots have learned their lesson (smiles) I just couldn't resist ending a chapter that way I hope you enjoy these chapters!

**IchikoKitsuneKoumori**: Thanks for the reviews! Not entirely a bad thing Wufei knowing where Heero's hiding (smiles) can solve some small problems, you'll see! Thanks again, please enjoy!

**theevilashleyness**: Your wait is over! I hope you enjoy! Thanks for the review!

**Wufei-the-back-side-slayer**: (laughs) which day was your birthday? Well my original sensei didn't actually do it for a living his was a science teacher at my school and started the club for free (Smiles) though you're not the only one to say that which I find very interesting! Thanks so much for the review!

**D3**: Thanks for the reviews (smiles) all emo? I couldn't wait to post that chapter and see peoples reactions to it, thanks again!

**lil demon**: Thanks for the review! As for Endless Waltz yes it did happen, but Perventers doesn't exist…it's really a minor thing, but it was something I stated near the beginning of the story but hasn't really been an issue. No worries about grammar I wouldn't notice it (laughs) that's why I have editors! Thanks again!

**Kreizuch**: 48 hours! You're my idol! I honestly have no idea what to say but Thank you! (laughs) your reaction to Ash is very much like everyone's has been, but no worries about him replacing anyone they all get along really well (smiles). Poor Dante, sorry Treize can't be there for Une. I loved your review (just so you know!) Yes Heero will be back to 100. As for who wins the bet (laughs) you'll have to wait and see I'd hate to spoil it for you. In the case of other Gundam characters, I've already had to write so many of them that it becomes a little hard to balance at times (laughs) so I've tried to cut down on characters that don't really need to be there, such a Dorothy. I can tell you that Noin makes and actual appearance in this story not too long from now. Thank you again! Ask whatever questions you like (smiles) I'm more than willing to answer anything I can that won't give away too much (laughs) and sometimes I do give away! I hope you enjoy these next two chapters.

**ghostreader**: Thanks for the review! Yeah I considered the dangerousness of Heero running off, but thought it had been near 8 months or more since he had been declared dead, no doubt people have stopped thinking about it. (laughs) and since I'm in control of who might recognise him….(smiles) Thanks again!

**Auza-Isaka-Winner**: Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you're still enjoying it. I hope you enjoy these chapters!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing

**Half Truths**

Wufei blinked in total surprise, "Jay it's been awhile," he greeted with a smile of his own. He had met the sensei several years back, and had gone down to his dojo on more than one occasion to teach a self-defence seminar or weapons class.

"Yeah I've been meaning to call you down for another class, the student's have been asking for you," Jay shifted a little in his seat, the smile remaining on his face.

"Well I'm sure something can be arranged," he replied, Wufei enjoyed teaching the students as much as they enjoyed learning. It had been an interesting experience the first time he had taught a class of students, in those first few moments he had felt closer to his family than he had in years. "But you said you have another runaway?" he changed the subject suddenly remembering what Jay had said to him at the onset of the call.

Jay's face took on a more serious expression, "Yeah he came in earlier today, calls himself Odin Lowe."

It was an effort not to react to the sound of that name, "Can you describe him?"

"Yeah, he was small around five three, brown hair, blue eyes looked like he could be of Japanese decent," Jay adjusted his glasses on his face the hand running down his goatee before returning to his lap. "He wore good cloths, they looked brand new but he was thin Wufei, really thin."

Wufei nodded at the information but didn't bother writing any of it down, as he had done the half dozen times before when he had helped Jay. He felt like smiling, but kept his face blank not wanting to cause questions. "Have you offered him a room?" Jay had taken the runaways in when they were willing to accept his help, watching over them until they were ready to go back to their families.

"Yeah I did, he accepted, he's actually out right now getting his things from wherever he was staying before," Jay nodded, and Wufei had to keep himself from laughing he wouldn't have doubted that Heero was expecting them to follow him, and that one of the reasons he had taken Jays offer was to make himself impossible to find.

"I'm really glad you called," he said then debating how he wanted to handle this, "I've been concerned about him, he disappeared a few days ago."

"He's one of yours?" Jay asked in surprise.

"Sort of…" he couldn't say anything that would risk giving Heero away but Jay needed something, "He's been an informant for us over the years, few days back we had a falling out, he left without a word."

Jay seemed to mull that over for a moment, "The agency doesn't take really good care of their informants do they?"

"You referring to his size?" Wufei asked knowing there wasn't much of an explanation he could give for that, he knew Heero wouldn't want Jay knowing too much even if it was vague. "He's always been like that, has a hard time bulking up, I wouldn't be worried about it," he assured.

"Alright."

"So what made you think he was a runaway?" the former pilot wanted to know, "You said his cloths were new, I'd bet he had a fair amount of cash as well." Wufei wasn't positive where Heero would have found the money, no doubt he had back up plans either from his time apart from them or all the way back from the war.

"He did," Jay nodded, "But what he didn't have was believable answers, the form I had him fill out was mostly blank, and his answers for why he didn't have the information was all to convenient."

Wufei chuckled, "You're so suspicious."

"Hey it's saved more than once before."

"I'll give you that," he admitted, "Look can you do me a favour and not tell Odin that you contacted me?"

"You think it would make things worse?" Jay asked.

"You tell him and he'll disappear," Wufei warned, "But it makes my life a little easier knowing where he is, so do you think you could keep me posted without him knowing?"

"I should be able to do that," he glanced down at his watch as he did, "He'll probably be back soon, so I should let you go."

"Alright, I'll talk to you later, we'll arrange for another class once things with Odin are straightened out."

"Sounds like a plan," Jay smiled and shut down his vid phone.

Wufei leaned back in his chair a satisfied smile on his face, he knew Heero could take care of himself so he hadn't exactly been worried about him. But he had wanted to know where he friend had disappeared too just in case something were to happen and they needed to get in touch with him right away. Not only that but he could relieve a few peoples minds, he knew the other pilots as well as John wanted to know where Heero was. Sally too but Wufei wasn't sure he was going to give her the details, she had been acting more like her old self these last few days, and he couldn't be sure she wouldn't go directly to the dojo and try and bring Heero back.

WMWMWMW

Heero looked about the small room he had been given by Jason or Jay as he preferred to be called the night before, it was suitable enough but Heero had been unable to find sleep that night. His mind hadn't wanted to shut off, he was too puzzled by this man who had taken him in without even knowing anything about him. They hadn't spent a lot of time talking as Heero had returned from the hotel very late, and he hadn't really left himself open for conversation during the morning, keeping mostly to himself watching this strange man from a distance. If Jay took not of his wariness he gave no outward signs of it, remaining completely relaxed whenever Heero was around.

Stepping out of his room Heero looked around his surroundings. The apartment was simple enough nothing out of the way special about it, but it felt comfortable, lived in. Jay had shown him around as though he had done it a number of times before, which perplexed Heero all the more. At the moment Jay was downstairs teaching his class of school students, he could hear their excited voices, and walked slowly towards them. Their class would be over soon, and Heero wanted to get changed into his gi before the next class started showing up, with an hour between classes there was more than enough time. Walking down the staircase Heero came to a stop four steps back and seated himself watching the class as Jay worked at teaching them a new kata.

A few of the students glanced his way but for the rest his presence seemed to go unnoticed, and as the class came to an end the laughter and jokes became more common. Heero couldn't imagine trying to teach children this young, he hadn't even been a fan of trying to teach other agents some of what he had learned, he had left that up to Wufei. When finally the class was dismissed Jay turned towards him, "I was wondering when I'd see you," he commented coming to a stop at the foot of the stairs and leaned himself against the wall.

"How long have you been teaching?" Heero asked, not sure why he was curious, perhaps just trying to keep the conversation from turning towards him.

Jay tilted his head back thinking, "huh…It's got to be getting close to a decade now, I opened this dojo back when I was twenty-four, so it's probably more accurate to say six or seven years." Those blue eyes continued to study Heero from behind his glasses, "How long have you been studying?"

"Probably since I was five…" Heero wasn't even positive of his age now, there was no way he could be sure of when he first started learning martial arts.

"Must have been off and on for you to still only have your brown," Jay said then, "You have real skill you should be beyond that by now."

"Drawing that conclusion after just one class?" he asked face expressionless.

Jay chuckled, "You're the first person I've met who isn't beaming ear to ear hearing a comment like that. You think my judgement is wrong?"

Heero shrugged, "I never cared too much for the ranking."

"The system never used to exist," Jay nodded in agreement, "There's one good thing I can say for it, it keeps my students striving for something more. Which is probably why it was invented in the first place."

"Excuse me Sensei," a young boy asked rather shyly his large brown eyes flickering constantly in Heero's direction.

"Yes Dan?" Jay turned his attention to the smaller boy.

"Will there be sparing tomorrow?" he sounded excited at the prospect.

Jay nodded his head, "Bring your gear make sure the others do as well."

"Alright!" the boy beamed enthusiastically and ran off towards his friends excitedly telling them the good news.

"That goes over well…" Heero commented softly watching the children leave the dojo.

"You have no idea," the sensei chuckled, "I have a hard time keeping them focused on their lessons, that's all they want to do most of the time. It's what we're going to be doing in your class actually."

Heero felt a spark of excitement ignite in him, he knew it would be nothing on sparing against a pilot but it was still a form of combat. Another chance for Heero to push himself to try and discover his limits, and now it would be against someone who didn't know him, didn't know what to 'avoid'.

"Did you do any sparing in your old clubs?"

Heero nodded his head, "Various forms."

"Good, I don't know what sort of protection your clubs required but I've never asked for much. The students have to wear knuckle guards but it's your choice if you want shin guards as well." He folded his arms across his chest, "I have spare equipment so you can take whatever you like the look of, do you remember the rules?"

_Rules?_ Heero thought, he had never been taught rules, well all except one, win, survive, be the last man standing no matter the cost. "Better refresh my memory," he answered finally.

"Alright," Jay smiled and stepped away from the wall he had been leaning against, "Target area is hairline, and the front of your torso to the belt, also along the sides of your gi. At your rank you can actually make for face shots but you can't make contact, you're just showing your control. Also the reason why we don't wear as much armour as other dojos is because we don't hit with full power, we come at each other full power but stop before we actually make contact.

"You teach control."

"Exactly, Oh and I almost forgot, no grabs, you can redirect an attack but can't grab someone's limb, leg or arm," he glanced back at the clock, "Won't be long now before the class starts showing up," he stepped out of Heero's way, "Why don't you get changed and I'll show you what gear I have." Heero nodded and walked over to the change room quickly putting on his gi, before walking back out onto the main floor adjusting his belt as he did. "That must be a record time," Jay laughed when he looked up from rifling through a worn brown box.

Heero said nothing to that as he bowed himself onto the mat before crossing over to see just what Jay had. "Most of my students use these, simple yet effective, and inexpensive," he explained handing Heero a simple looking pair of guards they were opened fingered and velcroed around the wrist. "Others prefer these," he continued holding up a bulkier looking glove, "It's closed fingered so there's no risk of snagging a thumb on someone's uniform."

"These look fine," Heero said taking the first pair he had been shown and slipping one onto his right hand flexing his fingers around the material.

"Good here's the other one," Jay passed it across before tossing the others back into the box, "Did you want a pair of shin guards?"

Heero shook his head, "No this'll be fine."

"Alright," Jay stepped away reaching for a pair of well worn gloves hanging from the wall, "Do you want to lightly spar while we wait? Help you warm up?"

Slipping the other glove on Heero nodded his head while tightening them both into place and moved closer to the middle of the mat watching Jay as he did the same. He settled himself into a fighting stance and watched as the sensei in his black gi calmly walked towards him clearly not ready to begin the fight. Reaching out Jay tapped his gloves against Heero's and then stepped back, "Just a courtesy," he smiled. As Jay set himself into his own fighting stance Heero reminded himself that this wasn't like with the other pilots he was going to have to be careful.

Jay made the first move coming at Heero quickly testing him trying to make an opening. Heero gave him nothing by blocking his attacks while returning his own. They moved across the mat using the open space, Heero kicked out with lightning speed and Jay jumped back with a gasp of surprise. The Japanese man kept himself evenly matched with Jay but as they both warmed up, their muscles getting looser they picked up the pace it was an unspoken agreement as Jay began to move a little faster and Heero was more than content to match him move for move. He wasn't sure what to expect from Jay, and that made it interesting, new, he could see in Jay's eyes that he felt the same way.

Jay was quick, and that surprised him, it felt like the sensei was trying to gain the upper hand to put Heero on the defensive. But Heero wasn't about to give in that easily, he still had a lot more he could give. His breathing remained deep and even, and he felt as though he could go like this for quite a while. He knew however that it wasn't due to the fact that his endurance had raised but rather because he wasn't fighting against another pilot. Though neither he nor Jay were going all out, he wondered what that would be like if they did, could Jay give him a run for his money?

Heero's face remained an impassive mask, he avoided Jay's fakes his cobalt eyes remaining fixed on Jay's chest watching for the slightest movement. Through the corner of one eye Heero caught sight of movement, as he ducked a punch throwing one of his own, the students were beginning to arrive. The sensei jumped back, "Your skills are impressive," Jay complimented as he straightened up his stance relaxing, "I'd like to spar with you longer, when I have the chance."

Heero nodded in response, walking towards the far side of the room, he could feel eyes watching him and in the mirrors he could see several of the students standing on the edge of the mat. They had been watching the end of the match, and still seemed routed in place. He tore his eyes away from the mirror and began calmly stretching his now warm muscles. He also removed the gloves from his hands, and tossed them to the floor as Jay walked up to him.

"Your skills are up there Odin, you've had a lot practice with sparring?" Jay asked after a moment, once the students had moved off to the change rooms.

He shrugged, "It came naturally."

"You weren't giving it your all were you?" the sensei was yet again looking at him as though in a new light.

"Neither were you," Heero thought Jay had the potential to be a lot faster, and he knew he hadn't seen everything Jay could do.

The sensei chuckled, "Fair enough."

WMWMWMW

Jay watched Odin subtly as his students began emerging from the change rooms, he honestly had no idea what to make of the young man. He knew next to nothing about the young man despite what Wufei had told him, there really were huge gaps. It had been obvious to him on that first day, that although Odin had claimed knowledge of the martial arts—and had subsequently proven his knowledge—he had clearly not been taught in the usual form. Jay had noted on more than one occasion Odin's eyes flickering about the room his movements just a fraction slower than the other students as he watched to see what was actually supposed to come next.

That puzzled Jay more than a little as Odin claimed to know Bassai Dai, a difficult brown belt kata, but didn't seem to know any of the lower ranks. Had he not seen what Odin could do so far Jay might have assumed it was just a bluff, but he felt positive that if he asked for a display he'd be amazed. He had been amazed at the intensity which Odin sparred, the young man had no tells, least none that Jay could pick up on so far. His movements were sure and divers he never repeated the same series of moves twice, that was a talent he had been trying to teach his senior belts for months. But was also something he himself had been striving for.

Jay thought Odin might have been more accustom to street fighting than this, he couldn't actually put his finger on why. It might have just been his assumptions that Odin might have had some gang relations. But something in the way he carried himself, tried to make openings in Jay's defences, just seemed different, that was the only way Jay could put it. Shaking himself out of his thoughts he glanced across the mat to see where Odin stood continuing to work his muscles as he waited for the class to get underway.

He was more than a little interested to see how Odin would do against the other students, would he moderate his talents as he had been doing with Jay, match them move for move? Or would he feel the need to show off? Jay felt pretty sure Odin would be more towards the former, he didn't appear comfortable in the spot light. He was a very private young man, quite too, which would make getting to know anything about him more than a little challenging. It was a challenge however that Jay felt up too.

Getting the class underway Jay made sure the warm up was a thorough one not wanting anyone to pull anything when they started sparring. "Alright, everyone pair up," he announced in a clear voice watching the excitement in his students eyes as they paired off. They unfortunately had an odd number which left one student off to the side, Mat took the side line first without a complaint, they were all relatively good for rotating through though there were a few who preferred to remain out on the mat. Jay set his digital watch, "We'll go two minute rounds," he held the watch up, and got them underway.

It always surprised Jay at just how fast these classes went once the matchers were underway. The sensei spent his time watching his students correcting errors when he saw them offering suggestions to those who were still new at this. On some days he would take part in all the rounds cycling through his students taking as much pleasure in this as they did. But for today Jay wanted to be able to divide his attention around the room, more importantly to keep an eye on Odin and watch what the young man would do. As Jay had expected Odin matched himself to the skills of his opponents taking them each in turn, and giving them a good fight. Jay had had to laugh quietly to himself when one of his students had thought Odin's height to be an advantage in his favour, perhaps for a less skilled fighter it would have been. But Odin never left his head open, hell he didn't leave any part of himself open.

They had been sparring for near an hour now, when Jay focused his eyes on a match he had been wanting to see all along. Alan, their resident 'Ice Man' was finally paired off with Odin. The height difference between them was drastic, but Alan wouldn't be able to make his quick shots off the top of the head as he was able to do with most others. Jay had been watching Odin a little more exclusively as the class continued on, he had only taken one break in this time, and it looked to Jay as though he was getting winded. But he kept pushing himself, his expression intense. He and Alan had been going at it for about a minute when Odin suddenly left his side open taking a punch from his opponent. That was the only way Jay could describe it, there was no way he couldn't have blocked it if he had wanted too, but for some reason he let it through.

Odin's face turned pale, and Jay could see pain flash across his eyes. His new student tried to hide it well forcing himself to straighten when his body clearly wanted to hunch around his injured side. Odin fought on for the remainder of his round hardly appearing to breathing. Why had he done it? What was wrong with him to cause this? Those were just two of the questions flowing through his mind at that moment. Jay's eyes narrowed as that round came to an end, he was angry and more so when he saw Odin move off to find another partner.

"Odin!" he couldn't keep the bark from his voice, "You're off this round!" The young man looked at him, pale face expressionless but he didn't argue, just silently bowed himself off the mat and stiffly sat down to watch.

WMWMWMW

Heero tried his hardest not to breathe, his ribs still aching from the punch he had taken in that last round. He had fought for as long as he could, and although he had only recently begun to feel winded, his energy beginning to drain, it hadn't felt like enough. So he had left himself open allowing a punch to make it through, taking it on his still tender ribs to see what would happen. The result had been disappointing to say the least. He clenched his hands into fist watching the matches going on, noting that Jay was coming over to him, his expression less than pleased.

"How bad are you hurt?" Jay demanded kneeling before him.

"I'm not hurt," Heero returned immediately making sure to speak normally and relax his body.

"Bull, people just don't turn grey for nothing," the sensei countered, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

Heero's narrowed as well, what did he care? "He hit me in the floating rib, it's nothing."

"I was watching him, Odin he didn't hit you there," for his part at least Jay was keeping his voice down, as the other students continued their sparring someone else taking up the task of starting the watch after the last match. "Now are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

That was something worth debating, what business was it of Jay's? why should he have to admit to a weakness, why couldn't the sensei just forget he saw that? Heero could see in Jay's eyes that he wasn't about to do that, he wanted answers. And Heero didn't doubt for a minute that if he didn't provide something he wouldn't be going out on that mat again. He certainly wasn't ready to go back to the agency yet, though he really didn't want to fight over this either. Heero drew in a shallow breath, "I was in a car accident several months back," he wondered how Zechs would feel being compared to a car accident, it was almost laughable.

"Broken ribs…" Jay nodded his head in understanding though he still looked less than pleased. "When I asked you yesterday if there was any medical information I should know, this is what I was talking about. I don't like people sparring with injuries."

"It was over seven months ago," Heero defended.

"They obviously still bother you," was the immediate counter.

"They aren't a danger."

Jay shook his head as though it didn't matter before fixing a very intense gaze on Heero's face, "Why did you let it in? If you know your ribs are tender why take the punch? I've been watching you Odin I know you could have blocked it easily enough."

_Damn…_ Not only had he been caught by Jay, but this incident had proven to him that had Wufei come at him without regard for his still healing ribs he would have been on the ground gasping for breath. It wasn't a satisfying realization to come to, he wanted to be stronger than that, but he had no control over this, he could block pain out, but that became rather difficult when he couldn't breathe properly. He watched Jay in silence, not having or wanting to answer that question, he doubted the sensei would even understand if he did.

"Alright," Jay sighed, "Class is almost over, why don't you just sit off the rest?"

"I said I was fine," Heero growled.

"Yeah? Well you've been going at it longer than the rest, you look like you could use a break." Jay got back to his feet walking out onto the mat.

WMWMWMW

The sensei shook his head as he got his students attentions, "Alright for the last twenty minutes we'll go for points, find out who's going to be 'King of the Ring'."

That always put smiles on their faces, it was an actual competition, they competed good-naturedly against one another when he just let them go at it. But this was different there was more of a drive to excel to be the last one in the ring. "Alright I need four corner judges," he called out knowing no one really wanted that post just yet, they all wanted to be the first in the ring. "Odin," Jay motioned for the young man to come over.

Odin hadn't moved a muscle since Jay had left him, nothing in his expression had changed either, though Jay did note it looked as though he were breathing a little easier now. He would have given a fair deal to understand why Odin had left himself so open when he had been sparring against Alan. He already knew asking out right would get him nothing more than a silent stare. Jay shook his head trying to renew his focus on his students and getting this underway, he could think about everything else when class was over. Hell Odin was staying in his spare room, he'd have the whole night to try and pry a little information out of him.

Sparring for points took far longer than most people expect when first entering the ring, you only needed three points to win the match, but you needed a majority of the judges to see the point for it to count. And with so much action most of the time all the judges could see were clashes. So two fighters used to two or three minute rounds really began to drag as the fight stretched into ten minutes. They weren't able to cycle through as many students this way, but if gave the vast majority of the class a chance to cool down before they had to leave for home.

Jay stood chatting with one of his students once class had ended his eyes flickered to Odin who had remained outside of the change rooms yet again, a coincidence Jay told himself. He didn't want to be completely suspicious of everything Odin did, that wasn't fair to the young man no matter how suspicious his actions seemed. Walking over to him Odin turned immediately, those intense eyes staring right through Jay. "You alright?" he asked after a moment, try as he might to think of a better way to break the silence that was the best he could come up with.

Odin nodded his head, "I'm fine."

"Looks like you got some blood on your gi," Jay noted pointing at the right sleeve, it had happened before often times no one even realised they had been cut. "Here, give me your coat and I'll get that out," Odin looked down at the blood for a moment before his hand began untying his belt.

It surprised Jay when Odin chose to break the silence on his own, "What did you plan for tomorrow?" he sounded truly interested, and Jay realised in that moment that the only times Odin's voice held anything was when he was speaking about karate, yet another oddity.

Jay took a moment to consider the question as Odin slipped the coat from his slender body and passed it over, "I wanted to spend the first half of the class on curriculum, but I was thinking of working on throws as well…" he trailed off, "That might not be a good idea for you though…"

Odin sighed, "It's not a problem," there was a real heat in his voice then and Jay began to think it might be best not to push the issue, it felt to him like Odin had been dealing with this for a while and was getting tired of it.

"Alright I'll take your word for it," he stepped around Odin, "You go get changed I'll get this soaking," he gestured with the gi coat and made for the stairs, continuing to wonder about the odd young man he had taken in.

Thanks for Reading!

**Caught!**:

Heero bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from reacting, he had seen it coming from the edge of his eye but had been able to do nothing to stop it. He wanted to pull away to remove the pressure that was holding the material of his shirt securely against the scar tissue, he didn't want to feel it, didn't want to remember. His every muscle was tensed both against the unwanted contact and to keep himself rooted in place. He knew it would seem odd to Jay but the reaction had been instantaneous there was nothing he could do, he could not stand anything touching it!

WMWMWMW

Odin's reaction caught Jay off guard and he immediately pulled his hand away, thankfully his memory had kicked in, and he didn't loose track of what he had been saying. Now in a position to demonstrate the throw Jay turned to Odin trying to look the young man in the eyes. But Odin was having none of it, his face—a stony mask—was tilted down ever so slightly but just enough to shield his eyes from view. Jay wondered why he had reacted so harshly, he doubted Odin's response had been visible to the students watching. But to Jay it had felt like Odin had jumped away from him as though burned. He had shifted away only a fraction before he had stopped himself, and Jay felt positive he had stumbled upon something he shouldn't have.

He wondered if Odin would let him touch him now as he had too to demonstrate the throw. What had he found? Jay couldn't help but wonder though he tried to keep his focus on the task at hand, he could try and ask Odin when class was finished. Already Jay knew such a question wouldn't go over well, but he'd want to ask it nonetheless. Reaching out for Odin Jay found himself feeling like he was split in too, as much as he simply wanted to forget the mystery he had uncovered until after class, his mind was not about to let go of it. He continued to be aware enough to lower Odin gently to the mats where he held him as he reminded his class not to let their opponent up but to finish the move with a final strike.

The young man was a real puzzle, all the children he had taken in over years had had their problems, why else would they have run away. Some carried physical scars, others mental, and though it had never been Jay's intention to do anything for them beyond offering them a safe place to sleep and the discipline karate could teach them. Somehow they had all opened up to him, to varying degrees and he had learned some terrible things. He couldn't help but wonder what was in Odin's past. He had been a part of the war, that much the young man had admitted to, but he would have been only around fifteen at the time. Jay found it hard to believe, but looking into Odin's eyes he knew his guest wasn't lying.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	57. Caught!

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter!

Again my thanks to **morgansgirl!**

**Disclaimer**: I still don't own Gundam Wing

**Caught!**

Jay stepped out of the bathroom after his shower, and walked into his living room where he saw Odin quietly sitting. It was early evening and their class hadn't even been over for an hour yet. There were a lot of questions he wanted to ask him but he doubted he'd receive answers to any of them, even breaking the silence was difficult with so quiet a guest. There was one place Jay thought he might be able to get some answers, but considering the info Wufei had given him the first time around, the sensei wasn't about to hold his breath. Though he was determined to find out why Wufei had failed to mention the fact that Odin was hurt, that pissed him off Wufei knew Jay's polices, he should have said something.

"You hungry?" Jay asked as he leaned in the doorway.

Odin's looked up mutely and shook his head, his face a mask of what he was actually thinking.

Jay had never met anyone like him before, though there was something about Odin that made him think of Wufei, something in the young man's eyes. "Well I have to make a phone call, I thought I'd order pizza. In case you change your mind, what do you like on your pizza?"

"Doesn't matter," Odin replied with a shrug.

Suppressing a sigh Jay simply nodded his head and moved into his room taking a seat on the edge of his bed he reached for the phone. Dialing Wufei's number Jay waited a moment for his friend to pick up, it was lucky the Chinese man being present for the calls. Jay knew how varied Wufei's schedule could be guarding Relena Peacecraft.

"Wufei here."

"You know you could have told me he was hurt," Jay ground out making sure to keep his voice down, with the door closed he doubted Odin would be able to hear, but he wanted to be sure.

"Hello to you too Jay," Wufei returned dryly.

"Why didn't you?"

"I didn't think about it," it sounded like he was shrugging the matter aside.

"Really convenient don't you think?" he wasn't sure why he was so sure it had been a purposeful omission but that's exactly how it felt to him.

"You're way too suspicious," Wufei countered, "It was an honest mistake, it happened over six months ago."

"What happened to him?"

There was a pause, and Jay's fist clenched _Caught you!_ he thought oddly triumphant, "He was in a fight--"

"That's funny, he told me it was a car accident," Jay cut through.

Another pause, and Wufei chuckled, "I'm not really surprised he called it that."

"It must have been one hell of a fight," the sensei shifted on his bed remembering his match against Odin. "I've seen him fight Wufei he's good, how'd it happen?"

"It wasn't exactly a fair fight," Wufei told him rather vaguely.

Jay had sudden visions of a gang beating, how else could it have happened? "What happened?" he asked not wanting to jump to conclusions about everything involving Odin.

"He didn't tell you for a reason Jay, I'm going to have to respect that, and just leave it at what I've already said." For his part at least Wufei actually sounded apologetic, "How exactly did you find out?" he inquired after a second of silence.

"It was odd," Jay began rubbing at his still damp hair, "He let a punch in, purposely left himself open."

Wufei was silent, and Jay wished he could see his friends face, not that he actually thought he'd see what the Chinese man was thinking. But there was always a chance—however slight—that he'd let something slip. Jay's eyes turned towards the door, "Do you know why he'd do something like that?" he wasn't expecting an answer.

"No idea, maybe he just wanted to find out how his ribs would take it?" the suggestion seemed sound enough though odd, which Jay had to admit fit with what he knew about Odin.

"Anything else you think I should know?"

"Not that I can think of," Wufei drawled, "But feel free to call anytime, I'm more than willing to answer questions."

"Ha!" Jay barked his voice raising briefly, "All you offer is more questions, never answers."

"It's not my fault you ask hard to answer questions," his friend defended, "I have to let you go Jay, but call again if you need anything."

"I will, but hopefully I won't be met with any more surprises," though he would like to learn more about his quiet guest. Hanging up the phone Jay turned it on again quickly and ordered his pizza.

WMWMWMW

Heero woke, his mind sliding from sleep to wakefulness almost instantly and he pushed himself to a sitting position a soft groan escaping his lips as he did. His right side ached from the sparring match the day before along with other parts of him, he moved slowly stretching his muscles out before coming to his feet. He had gone to bed early the night before, not feeling like eating a lot and even less like dealing with conversation. Jay had handled his silence very well simply reiterating that he should make himself at home. The man was intriguing to say the least and Heero found himself watching Jay trying to understand him with little success.

Dropping back onto the edge of his bed Heero dropped his head into his hands locking his fingers into his hair, he felt a little off, his movements shaky his headache stronger than it had been the day before. Breathing slowly he forced the feelings aside and got back to his feet. Grabbing his supplies he left his room and crossed the hall to the bathroom hoping a shower would fully waken him. He had just stepped out of the shower when he head a knock on the door.

"Odin," Jay's voice called to him through the wood.

"Yeah?"

"I'm making breakfast, you want anything?"

Heero briefly debated his answers as he dried himself and began dressing, he was feeling better after his shower, and decided it might be a good idea, "Sure."

"Great," he was sure he heard a smile in Jay's voice.

Pulling a long sleeved shirt over his head Heero raked both hands quickly through his hair before walking from the bathroom. Glancing down the hall he saw Jay standing in the kitchen working near the stove, he walked towards the counter seating himself on one of the stools. The only sounds that broke the silence between them was the sizzling of the bacon, and the news speaking softly in the background. He watched the news idly, feeling Jay's eyes flickered to him, and he knew as the silence dragged on that questions were coming. But he wasn't going to run from it this time, not yet at least, perhaps he could come to understand this man a little better.

"Did you sleep well?" Jay asked finally.

Heero didn't even bother to turn his head, he just nodded, any night without nightmares was a good one.

The silence returned for a moment or two before Jay tried again, "So tell me where did you live before you moved here?"

"Colonies," he answered calmly watching Jay through the corner of one eye.

"More than one?" the sensei chuckled, "You've moved around a lot?"

"A fair deal," so far he was able to answer honestly.

"No family with you?"

Heero shook his head, "I don't have any family," not so true now he supposed though the word still felt unfamiliar to him.

"What about school?" Jay continued his eyes focused on the eggs he was scrambling.

He felt like asking 'What about it?' he hadn't really attended any normal school at least not for an extended period of time. Everything he knew had been taught one on one. Somehow they had found the time between his more 'important' lessons to teach him the common things all children learned. "I was privately taught," he responded finally.

"Where were you during the war?" he passed a plate across the counter along with a knife and fork.

It was an innocent enough question, the war had been a major point in everyone's life and it was no secret that many of the soldiers had been young. But did he want to admit to having fought? Could that not cause him more problems? Or might it explain away some of his skills? "I fought," he said simply beginning to eat some of what he had been given.

For what had to be the seventh time Jay's eyes looked Heero over as though seeing him for the first time, "Weren't you a little young Odin?"

"The Alliance didn't discriminate neither did OZ for that matter," he shrugged the matter aside, and for Jay's part he just nodded his head leaning against the counter as he began eating his own meal.

"I was forced to teach new recruits CQC," Jay spoke up after a short time, perhaps feeling the need to offer something of himself instead of just asking question after question. "I enjoyed learning back when I was younger but hadn't wanted any part in the war. So when it had ended I went back to teaching karate, the students learn how to defend himself but are also taught to be peaceful."

It was Heero's turn to look at Jay as though for the first time, this information made him re-evaluate the sparring match he had had with him yesterday. And he wondered what it would be like to go all out as he did with the pilots, he felt pretty sure from what he had seen and now heard that Jay could well give him a good fight. "Do you teach any of what you know?"

"Some, in conjunction with the karate lessons, a lot of it works both ways," he nodded, and once again they lapsed into silence. By this point Heero had had his fill and quietly pushed his plate back across the counter. His cobalt eyes returned to the news, but they wouldn't remain there for long, "Can I ask you a question?" Jay asked.

"Isn't that what you've been doing?" Heero deflected looking to Jay through the corner of one eye.

The sensei chuckled, "Yeah, but I was wondering about that chain you're always wearing, I've heard it, I was just wondering what was on it."

Heero reached for the chain that ran beneath his shirt and drew out the dog tags, lifting the chain from around his head he passed it across to Jay. Who looked over the dates on it, when his head came up there was more questions in his eyes, "You survived?" he asked looking directly into Heero's eyes.

He shrugged not wanting to get into the significance of that engraving, not wanting to think about his friend and what had happened to get him here. "It was a gift," he accepted it back and quickly put it on.

"You had strong ties to the men you fought with during the war," it was more a statement that Jay made as he took both their plates and began cleaning up. Heero wasn't at all surprised Jay had come to that conclusion, the dates were easy to understand.

"Yeah…" he nodded looking back towards the TV, "At times…" he mumbled that to himself.

WMWMWMW

Heero stepped down into the large open dojo Jay's class having just come to an end, but the sensei was engrossed in excited conversations with several of his pupils he didn't even seem to notice Heero's presence. This suited the former pilot just fine, after their conversation over breakfast Heero had tried to keep to himself not really wanting to discuss more of his past. He wouldn't be open and forthcoming with Jay even if it were possible so why sit down and cause more questions to turn around in Jay's mind. But by the same token he couldn't remain entirely silent shying away from any form of conversation between himself and Jay, that too would cause unnecessary questions.

Pulling his attention away from the center of the room Heero looked towards the shorter staircase that lead down into the basement just beside the stairs to Jay's apartment. He had noticed it back on his first day but hadn't thought much of it as the lights down there had been off. Now seeing that they were on Heero went down to take a closer look. At the bottom of the small flight Heero found a medium sized room filled with strength training equipment, much like what he could find back at the agency. It all looked a little more well worn, the white paint chipped in more than one place.

A soft foot upon the stairs alerted Heero before Jay even spoke, "I was lucky a small gym in town was going out of business and I was able to snatch up their equipment really cheap." He took a couple of steps closer to Heero, his right hand reaching out to take hold on one of the bars, "Sometimes the classes want to work down here as a change of pace, not as popular as the karate perhaps but worth it nonetheless."

Heero just nodded his head not having anything to say in response to that.

"Oh, Odin your coat is still wet," Jay said as though the thought had just occurred to him, "Sorry I kind of forgot about it yesterday."

"No problem…" Heero responded after a moment having forgotten that he had even given the gi jacket to Jay for cleaning. He thought about it for a moment he didn't want Jay to think it was an issue, but he usually wore a t-shirt under his coat, that was out of the question. He couldn't risk exposing any of the numerous scars that he had recently acquired, they'd just cause too many questions. He supposed the long sleeved shirt he was wearing at the moment could work, it wasn't as thick as the gi, but the sleeves wouldn't roll up. It would have to do; walking back towards the stairs Jay turned to follow him.

"Going to change?" he asked, and Heero mutely nodded, it wouldn't be too much longer before the students began arriving.

It took him less time to get changed than normal and he tied his belt securely over the black shirt not wanting the material to ride up when he was being thrown. He turned away from his locker just as the door was opening, Alan walking through. The tall young man looked surprised and a smile broke out on his face as he nodded a greeting to Heero, "I was wondering if you were coming tonight when I didn't see you out there."

Heero's lips twitched a little at that as he walked past not knowing how to respond he just walked back out into the dojo and bowed himself onto the mat. "I hope you don't mind if I use you to demonstrate the throws," Jay spoke while stretching his left arm behind his back, Heero shook his head, that worked just as well for him. "Good," the sensei smiled clapping his hands together, "I want to teach them a new one today, the axe throw, are you familiar with it?"

"Yeah," Heero knew a bunch of different throws, he never really cared which one he used it all came down to whatever the situation required.

WMWMWMW

"Alright," Jay looked out over his class, sweaty yet determined faces stared back at him, an eager light in all of their eyes. He had drilled them on curriculum for the first hour and a half, pushing them for endurance, keeping the up coming grading fully in mind, they were going to have to work for this. "Grab the mats we're going to work on some throws," an eager eruption of conversation broke out as the students began dragging the mats that rested against the wall out onto the floor.

Not everyone was as eager for this part of the lesson, some students didn't like to be thrown despite their best efforts they fought against it, others hated doing the throwing. Still for the vast majority it went over well, and even those who were less eager enjoyed themselves. Once everything was set up Jay stepped onto the edge of the mat, "Odin," he motioned for the young man to come stand with him, which Odin did, and Jay turned his attention to the class, "Alright you all know the hip throw but I'm just going to demonstrate it again, it's been a while."

Positioning himself so he was facing Odin, he explained what he wanted him to do, "Come at me with a roundhouse." Odin nodded and did as he had been told, Jay caught his arm and paused reminding his students as he positioned himself for the throw. This was the stage were most students made their mistakes, they didn't keep their feet together forcing them to work far harder to throw their opponent. Jay lifted Odin for the throw surprised—despite having known the young man would be light—at just how light he actually was. Dropping Odin down gently to the padding Jay maintained a solid grip of his right wrist.

"Do not let your partner go when you have them down," he instructed lowering his stance he pressed the outside of Odin's elbow to his knee. Odin's body twisted away exposing his side, "Always remember to finish your opponent off." As he spoke Jay's hand adjusted on Odin's wrist and he noted an odd roughness there glancing down he saw what he was feeling looked like a band of callous. His mind didn't even have time to process what he thought had caused the callous before he had to let Odin up or have questions asked.

"Okay here's what we're going to do, everyone's going to get a chance to throw everyone else, starting with Odin." He pulled the young man to his feet, "Everyone line up." Jay walked to the edge of the mat and watched as Odin systematically went from one student to the next, throwing each of them like he had done it a million times before. Even those who hated being thrown were done before they even knew it, he finished each throw differently, alternating from arm bars and punched to the side, to choke holds and strikes to the carotid.

When Odin had finished his round things began to slow down as Jay had to correct the mistakes he saw, and work with students who were less sure of themselves. Not only had Odin made throwing the students easy he also made himself easy to throw, not resisting, his light weight also helped. But Jay noted as the class progressed and each time Odin cycled through another student, he got to his feet a little slower, it took him a little longer to breathe normally. He didn't complain, didn't even hiss in pain, just climbed to his feet and moved back to the line waiting for the next one.

A part of Jay wanted to pull the young man out, but he knew immediately that Odin wouldn't appreciate the attention, or concern so he let it be. When everyone had had their turn Jay drew Odin back to the front of the class and decided that he would verbally explain what they were going to do next, give his guest a chance to let the pain subside. "Okay that was great you're all getting a lot better at this, still a few things we need to hammer out but we're getting there." He stood on Odin's right as he spoke dividing his attention between the class and watching through the corner of his eye as Odin began to breathe easier.

"Next I'd like to show you an axe throw. It's a little more complicated but I think you're all up for the challenge," Jay stepped around behind Odin as he explained the throw and how it differed from the hip throw they were more accustomed too. As he spoke Jay absently rested a hand on Odin's back near his shoulder blade, his palm pressing against an odd roughness and he felt the quiet man tense.

WMWMWMW

Heero bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from reacting, he had seen it coming from the edge of his eye but had been able to do nothing to stop it. He wanted to pull away to remove the pressure that was holding the material of his shirt securely against the scar tissue, he didn't want to feel it, didn't want to remember. His every muscle was tensed both against the unwanted contact and to keep himself rooted in place. He knew it would seem odd to Jay but the reaction had been instantaneous there was nothing he could do, he could not stand anything touching it!

WMWMWMW

Odin's reaction caught Jay off guard and he immediately pulled his hand away, thankfully his memory had kicked in, and he didn't loose track of what he had been saying. Now in a position to demonstrate the throw Jay turned to Odin trying to look the young man in the eyes. But Odin was having none of it, his face—a stony mask—was tilted down ever so slightly but just enough to shield his eyes from view. Jay wondered why he had reacted so harshly, he doubted Odin's response had been visible to the students watching. But to Jay it had felt like Odin had jumped away from him as though burned. He had shifted away only a fraction before he had stopped himself, and Jay felt positive he had stumbled upon something he shouldn't have.

He wondered if Odin would let him touch him now as he had too to demonstrate the throw. What had he found? Jay couldn't help but wonder though he tried to keep his focus on the task at hand, he could try and ask Odin when class was finished. Already Jay knew such a question wouldn't go over well, but he'd want to ask it nonetheless. Reaching out for Odin Jay found himself feeling like he was split in too, as much as he simply wanted to forget the mystery he had uncovered until after class, his mind was not about to let go of it. He continued to be aware enough to lower Odin gently to the mats where he held him as he reminded his class not to let their opponent up but to finish the move with a final strike.

The young man was a real puzzle, all the children he had taken in over years had had their problems, why else would they have run away. Some carried physical scars, others mental, and though it had never been Jay's intention to do anything for them beyond offering them a safe place to sleep and the discipline karate could teach them. Somehow they had all opened up to him, to varying degrees and he had learned some terrible things. He couldn't help but wonder what was in Odin's past. He had been a part of the war, that much the young man had admitted to, but he would have been only around fifteen at the time. Jay found it hard to believe, but looking into Odin's eyes he knew his guest wasn't lying.

"Does anyone want me to show them again?" he asked briefly snapping back to total clarity as he looked around at the faces watching him, the entire class nodded their heads. Jay shifted his grip without thinking on Odin's wrist stepping back so he could help his partner to his feet. Again he felt the rough callous that surrounded Odin's wrist, and wondered why Odin didn't react to it being touched, he also wouldn't have minded knowing what had caused it. Yet another question to ask Odin when the class was over.

Demonstrating the throw one more time nice and slow, this time forcing a little more of his attention on instructing and not wondering, Jay lowered Odin to the floor. "Alright now pair up," he told them pulling Odin back to his feet, the young man was still avoiding eye contact, and Jay would have given anything to know what he was thinking. "Do you mind helping them?" he asked, figuring Odin could do more good helping the entire class than just one student. His guest nodded mutely and walked towards the first group he saw attempting the throw. Jay continued to watch him for a moment before he finally shook his head and moved off the opposite way.

Class ended up running a little longer than Jay had intended it to, and it felt like every time he turned around to see where Odin was someone else wanted his attention. He had tried—for the rest of the class—to act like nothing out of the ordinary had happened, so he didn't want to brush off his students in an effort to find Odin. Jay had had a hard time keeping his mind on track while teaching, his thoughts kept replaying Odin's reaction, he looked down at his hand, his thumb running lightly across his fingers, what had he felt there?

"Sensei?" a voice asked curiously.

Jay looked up, his intense expression falling into an easy smile, "Sorry, got a little distracted," his students smiled and the conversation was on again, he tried a little harder to partake this time but found his eyes constantly wandering around the room unable to catch sight of Odin. That was odd, his guest never went into the change rooms until everyone had already left, had he changed his mind this time?

When finally the sensei waved goodbye to the last of his class, he turned and quickly walked into the locker room, "Odin?" he called glancing around but not seeing the young man. He turned quickly and went upstairs to his apartment again calling out for his guest. There was no response making a quick sweep of the rooms Jay returned to the stairs, Odin was nowhere to be found. He noted then that Odin's shoes and coat were missing from the mat and peg by the archway, _When did he get those?_ Jay wondered. He felt a spark of concern then, and raked a hand through his short reddish hair, "What now?" he asked the empty apartment.

It didn't take him long to think of an answer, sitting down in front of his vid phone Jay dialed a number that hadn't received this much use in a long time. He wasn't all that surprised when he received no answer, he had been lucky the first two times to catch Wufei on the first try. Leaving a message on his friend's voicemail Jay got to his feet and headed to the bathroom to take a shower. Hopefully by the time he came out Wufei would return from wherever he had gone and call him back. That wasn't to be his luck though, and when he stepped from the bathroom dressed in a comfy pair of pants and a sweater not even Odin had returned.

WMWMWMW

Wufei walked into his apartment shrugging out of his coat as he did, "You want a drink?" he asked Trowa who followed in quietly behind, the taller man nodded quietly and hung his coat up beside Wufei's.

They had just got in from taking Relena home for the night, it was an early night for all of them as Relena had a meeting in the morning and she wanted to get a decent nights sleep. But Wufei wasn't ready to turn in just yet, and neither was Trowa, "Do you want something cold or hot?" he looked back over his shoulder watching his friend take a seat in the small living room.

"Beer?" Trowa looked back.

"Uh…" he glanced in the frig, "No beer, will sake do?" Trowa nodded in response and Wufei reached in to remove the bottle. After retrieving two glasses from the cupboard he walking into his living room and sat down across from Trowa.

"So have you heard anything new from Jay?" accepting his glass Trowa settled back in his armchair.

"Nothing significant no," Wufei sipped at his own drink, "He called yesterday but only to berate me for not telling him that Heero was hurt."

An eyebrow raised, "I wouldn't have thought that'd be an issue…"

"Heero let the punch in," Wufei didn't need to say much beyond that, they all understood what Heero had been trying to do in the fight before he left. It didn't really surprise Wufei that he had done it at Jay's dojo, he had to find out for himself what would happen. And now he knew, that gave Wufei a small sense of self satisfaction, sure they had made a mistake, but their intentions were right, and now Heero knew that.

Trowa drained the last of his sake, and gestures with the empty glass, "Looks like you've got a message."

Twisting in his chair Wufei looked to his vid-phone seeing that a red light was blinking on it, "Hmmm, I wonder if it's Jay…" he poured himself and Trowa another round before getting up to check the messages. Pressing a button on the side of the phone, the screen lit up and Jay appeared.

"Hey Wufei, this isn't about anything serious, I just have a curiosity question, if you could call me when you get the chance that'd be great."

"Curiosity?" Trowa asked deadpan, "That make you as nervous as it does me?"

"Heh," Wufei chuckled dryly, "Odin is a mystery to Jay, no matter how unassuming he tries to be there's always questions." He sat down in front of the phone, "I just hope this time his question is something I can answer, he's already suspicious enough."

"I'm sure Heero was positive we'd never find him in that small dojo," he shook his head, "Who knew it could cause you so many headaches."

"He hasn't been that bad yet," he defended searching through the phone's memory for Jay's number, "But I'd better see what he wants to know."

The phone didn't ring long before Jay answered it, "Evening," he greeted immediately before the screen had fully turned on, "Sorry to bother you again so soon."

"Not a problem," His eyes glanced around Jay, he didn't think his friend would call in the open if Heero was around, but he wanted to be sure.

"Odin took off after class, he hasn't come back yet," Jay assured his usual expression sliding into one of concern.

"What happened?" Wufei was beginning to think this was more than just a curiosity question.

"I'm not actually sure," Jay began adjusting his thin framed glasses, "I was wondering if you might know anything about a scar that might be on Odin's back…"

Wufei heard Trowa quietly snort behind him, for his part he merely raised an eyebrow, "Maybe?" it was an odd way to phrase it.

"Well I don't actually know if it is a scar, that's just what I thought it felt like," he clarified.

"Why don't you tell me what happened," he already had a fair idea, but needed to hear it from Jay.

"I was teaching the class a new throw, and touched Odin's back while I was explaining," as he spoke Trowa got up from his seat and moved a little closer. He remained outside of the vid phone's view but entered into Wufei's peripheral. "I don't know if I would have thought anything of it if Odin hadn't reacted the way he did."

Wufei could only imagine how Heero would react to someone touching the brand, the Japanese man had been all but completely silent on the matter after he had found out. In fact it had been a little disturbing, especially when they all found out how he had reacted in the first place. None of them were about to try and approach the subject with Heero, so it remained an awkward piece of knowledge. "How'd he react," he asked after a moment knowing it was expected.

"He stiffened, almost jerked away from me, but after he wouldn't look at me, hardly said a word," he chuckled a little then, "Though that's not so unusual for him."

Through the corner of one eye Wufei saw Trowa nod his head in agreement, before downing the last of his drink, "Odin's never been particularly chatty," he returned.

Jay leaned on the table before him, his expression becoming serious, "So do you know anything about this? He's really got me wondering, I wanted to ask him about it as soon as class ended but he disappeared before I could say a word." He glanced back over his shoulder as though expecting to see Heero, Wufei hoped that wasn't the case the last thing he wanted was to drive Heero deeper underground. "I have no idea when he's coming back."

Wufei had to make a decision in only a matter of seconds, what was he to tell Jay? Was there anything he could say in this situation, or would he be better off to claim ignorance? That, Jay might find that all too convenient, but he hadn't told the sensei anything that would lead him to believe Wufei and Heero were close enough to know such personal details. However on the other hand if he didn't give Jay something to satisfy his curiosity he could well approach Heero about it, with consequences much worse than Jay had seen by just touching it. Trowa's thoughts seemed to be running along the same line as he stepped a little closer and mouthed the words 'You'd better tell him.'

"Look Jay, what you found isn't something Odin likes to talk about," Wufei began slowly choosing his words carefully, not at all sure how much he wanted to give to Jay, enough to make him leave it alone. "It's a brand."

"Brand?" Jay asked back in surprise, and Wufei could see on his face as understanding and more questions formed in his mind, Jay's eyes were very expressive. "I've heard a little about it in the past, I wouldn't have…" he trailed off, perhaps realizing he just didn't know Heero well enough to finish that statement. Instead he said, "I don't understand why people do it."

"Neither do I," he agreed to move the matter along, "It's a touchy subject for him Jay, I'd just let it be if I were you."

Then came the inevitable question, "Why?"

_What to say?_ Wufei thought hurriedly, _If I tell him it was done against his will, that'll only raise more red flags…_ there had to be an answer that could let Jay drop it. "I told you before he's been an informant for us in the past. That's required him to run with some bad crowds, and prove his loyalty to them, the brand was one of those proofs."

A low whistle escaped Jay's lips, "What sort of group was it?"

"I don't know," he answered immediately, "I wasn't Odin's handler, I only learned what was relevant for guarding Relena." It was amazing how close to the truth he could actually get while still leaving Jay completely oblivious to what was actually happening.

"I see…" Jay sighed, "Well thanks for the info, say I don't suppose you'd know anything about the callous' on Odin's wrists?"

Damn Jay was an observant man, "Haven't a clue," he answered in an honest voice, "You could ask Odin but I wouldn't count on getting an answer."

"Hmmm…" Jay looked thoughtful, and for a moment Wufei wondered if the sensei would demand to know more that he had been told. "Well thanks Wufei, I'd better go before Odin comes back," nodding Wufei watched the screen go black before he shut off his end and turned to face Trowa.

"He's an observant man," Trowa commented stepping away from the wall.

Wufei massaged the back of his neck, "Unfortunately…"

"More sake?"

"Please."

Thanks for Reading!

**The Brand of the Phoenix**:

Jay felt stunned again, what Odin had just said didn't seem to fit with what Wufei had told him, "How could you not know it happened?" the words slipped out before he could stop himself. The glare Odin directed his way went right through him and he shivered, that wasn't a question he was going to be getting an answer to anytime soon, but that didn't deter him immediately. It was becoming increasingly clear to him that Odin had been avoiding this for a while now, perhaps this was why he only ever seemed to shrug his right shoulder. "Why'd they do it to you?" he tried, it was an effort to keep his voice calm, but he managed it.

Odin's eyes narrowed further, "Because they could!" it didn't sound to Jay like he had really given it much thought.

Drawing in a calming breath Jay thought quickly, this wasn't getting him anywhere and he didn't want to drive Odin off before he had managed to understand a little more, so he quickly switched gears. "What does it mean?" he hoped at least Odin would offer him something.

"It means I betrayed my friends," he flared though his voice never raised.

Alarms went off in Jay's head, "Do they see it that way?" he couldn't see how that would be the case, if Wufei was a friend of his—which he certainly seemed to be—he definitely didn't act betrayed.

"That's not the point!"

"Is it why you ran away from them?" again before he could think better of it. Jay regretted that immediately, it was getting to close to revealing that he had made contact with someone who might be looking for Odin.

"Back off!" Odin warned darkly, thankfully appearing to have not noticed Jay's near slip.

Jay put out his hands in a sign of peace, "Look Odin, I'm not trying to judge you here, but it's obvious this bothers you and ignoring it isn't going to make it go away."

"Neither is talking about it," he fired back.

It was true and Jay nodded his head, a tattoo could be removed, but nothing not even time was going to lesson the appearance of that brand. "I just think it would be better for you if you tired to accept it," he doubted that would go over well, and wasn't disappointed.

"What the hell do you know about me!"

"Not much I'll admit," Jay shrugged, "It's only a suggestion, but if there's one thing I've learned since the war, it's that scars can be seen as a mark of survival." Odin's eyes narrowed dangerously, "I know this is not exactly like that, but there has to be a different way for you to look at this…"

Odin turned from him then, opening the locker door wider, nothing about him relaxed but at least he hadn't flared up again. Jay wasn't about to let himself hope that he was getting through to him.

"Are you going to come back out?" he asked then after a moments silence, and watched as Odin began removing his things from the locker, "What are you doing?"

"Leaving."

"Running from me too?" it was a careful line to walk but he kept his tone light hoping not to provoke.

"I almost killed you," there was no heat behind it, it was just a statement.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	58. The Brand of the Phoenix

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Alright so it's not a double chapter but it's basically on time (smiles) so that's something to be happy about!

My thanks to **morgansgirl **and **Pious Knight **(glad you're back!)

**Morrighan of Crimson and Sable**: (laughs) it's so true! But that's why we love him! Thanks for the reviews!

**Auza-Isaka-Winner**: Thanks for the reviews! Yes you still hold claim to the weirdest review (laughs) I don't think anyone's gunning for that right now. (laughs) it had only been two days when you were waiting for the next chapter (smiles) I hope this wasn't too long of a wait!

**Midnight's Falling Star**: Thanks so much! Jay doesn't really know who he's dealing with (smiles) and that's his advantage! Thanks for the review I hope you enjoy this chapter.

**Mini Nicka**: Thanks so much….H/R interactions is coming again…then they'll leave….then they'll be back (laughs) I hope you can be patient with them, I'll try and make them worth your while. Thanks again!

**L.A.Une**: Thanks so much! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Raizard333**: Thank you! I hope you like this chapter as well (smiles)

**Kreizuch**: Thanks for the review! Yes what Heero was talking about will all be made clear in this chapter. No worries I'll always read reviews from you (smiles) I really enjoy them! Thank you! I actually find the Heero Relena scenes to be among the hardest to write, especially back in the beginning when they were just rebuilding their relationship. Noin will be making an appearance not too long from now, I had attempted to bring her in earlier back at chapter 51, but it just didn't work out, so instead she's coming in briefly in chapter 64. Thank you again! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**D3**: Thanks for the reviews! I've been told on many occasion that alcohol cures all of life's problems (laughs) especially where Heero's involved, thanks again!

**IchikoKitsuneKoumori**: Thanks for the reviews! Yep Heero's around 20, and yes he'd be legally able to look after himself but that doesn't (or wouldn't) stop Jay from trying to help him out. Especially if he thought Heero was coming from an abusive situation, no matter the age you'd feel like protecting that person. Thanks again!

**Featherbird**: Thank you very much for the review! I have two betas who have been doing the best job that they can. I unfortunately have a perception problem that keeps me from ever learning proper grammar hence the betas. To be honest I've become rather tired of explaining this, but this time I'd like to say, instead of complaining would you be interested in offering help? I understand how hard editing is, especially my chapters if you see them before and editor gets their hands on them. But I've never been against more help, so long as it is mechanics and not writing style (laughs) I've had one too many betas in the past try and rewrite everything. Thanks again, and please let me know.

**mikinyet**: Thank you! Jay's pretty good at it, and luckily I'm in control (laughs) I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks again!

**jellybean-kitty**: thanks so much! I hope you like this chapter!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing!

**The Brand of the Phoenix **

Heero rolled onto his side, his mind waking ahead of his body as was usual, what wasn't usual was Heero's wish that he hadn't woke up at all. His body curled into a tight ball, he felt terrible. He hadn't felt this bad since he had been on that drug. His head felt full, his thoughts clouded by cotton, and a steady pounding—which he was sure matched his heart—had settled into his head along with the normal ache behind his eye. Heero suppressed a groan as he forced himself to sit up, taking a few deep breaths he hoped his head would clear. But it didn't, he had been feeling a little like this for the last few days, just off, now it all came crashing in.

Standing Heero felt the world spin around him, and he quickly dropped back down lowering his head into his hands. He breathed slowly for several minutes waiting for the nausea to pass. As it did, Heero glanced at his watch, wondering what time it was. He had remained away from the dojo until very late not wanting to see Jay and face the inevitable questions. He shifted on the edge of the bed feeling his shirt catch on the rough brand, it was nearing on ten o'clock in the morning, later than Heero had slept in a very long time. Though sleep had been hard for him to find during the night.

He heard a soft knock on his door, "Odin, you awake?"

"Yeah," he replied after a moment seriously hoping Jay wouldn't try to come into the room.

"I didn't hear you come in last night, you alright?" concern was evident in his voice but Heero didn't hear him try the door thankfully.

"I'm fine," he lied.

"Do you want something to eat?" Jay offered.

Heero shuddered at the thought, "No," he answered after a moment and hoped Jay would leave it at that and just let him be.

"Alright, I have some paperwork to do, if you need anything I'll be down in my office," the concern didn't fully leave his voice but Heero did hear him walk away from the door, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

Waiting several minutes not just to be sure that Jay was gone, but to also give himself a few more moments to fully wake, Heero finally got to his feet again and this time was able to remain there. He looked around his room carefully, wincing when his eyes passed over his window, with the curtains drawn as they were he right eye still ached. He seriously hoped this would pass soon as it had yesterday, though he hadn't felt nearly this bad then. Gathering clean cloths Heero crossed from his room to the bathroom and proceeded to take a shower.

It became easier to breathe as the steam began to fill the room, and he started to feel a little better, at least functional. He spent a little extra time just standing in the bathroom breathing in the humid air, before he finally left. Dressed in a warm sweater and jeans, Heero made his way slowly into the living room glad to see that Jay still wasn't there. He doubted he'd be able to avoid the sensei until class, but that was his goal for the day. What happened yesterday still bothered Heero, but more for the fact he knew Jay was going to ask him about it, and that was a subject he didn't want to discuss for any reason.

WMWMWMW

Jay sat in his office, the radio playing in the background as he tried to keep his thoughts focused on the paperwork he actually had to get done. It was an effort; his thoughts kept drifting to Odin and what he had learned the night before from Wufei. He wanted to ask the young man directly about the brand, but had seen the concern in Wufei's face when he had mentioned how touchy the subject could be. Jay didn't want to drive Odin away, and considering how he had taken off the day before without a word that seemed to be a likely possibility if he was pushed too far.

His eyes left the papers spread on his desk and moved to the computer screen to his left, he had taken some time to research branding. He was curious to see how it was done, and he winced at the thought. Jay hadn't been surprised at the amount of information he had found on it, a year or so back he had heard a brief report on the news that branding had become a popular fad in a bunch of underground cults. "Whatever happened to a tattoo?" he asked the room around him. It was certainly less painful, but it wasn't all that hard to get rid of, a brand was far more permanent.

Shaking his head Jay refocused his attention on the task at hand, he hadn't seen Odin yet today but he had felt even through the door to his room, that Odin had needed some space. This was partly why he had come down here, forcing himself to do what he had been putting off for several days now. He didn't want to avoid Odin, despite how his guest might feel Jay knew that wasn't going to make things better. In fact it might only make Odin suspicious, so Jay was seriously hoping to see the young man come down for class, until then Jay would give him a little space, with any luck that would improve his mood.

WMWMWMW

Heero suppressed a sigh, his right hand massaging at his eye for what had to have been the hundredth time that day. He didn't feel as terrible as he had when he had first woke in the late morning, but at the same time he didn't feel particularly good either. He felt as though he should be focusing himself on something, not just sitting around trying to clear his head. But as it was Heero had been unable to focus, still he had made it through the day, or at least to his class. He made his way slowly down the carpeted stairs finding himself hanging close to the wall a hand gliding down the rail. His balance still felt off, and he had found himself feeling light headed more than once, the moments had always passed quickly and he was determined to make it through the class. Heero wanted to feel like he had at least done something with his day.

The younger students were already gone, Heero had waited to be sure, so that he could slip into the change room without having to stand around and speak with Jay for a few minutes. He carried his gi coat in his hand, now cleaned and dried, he was grateful to have it back. Walking towards the door Heero saw Jay through the corner of one eye but moved on quickly and was glad to see that Jay just watched him. The former pilot changed as quickly as he could but he didn't trust his balance and that slowed him a little as he leaned against the lockers. Finally ready Heero ran a hand through his hair and blinked back the fog that still floated around his mind.

He pulled open the door just as a group of students were making their way in, their conversation died off when they saw Heero but he just moved past. Bowing himself onto the mat Heero began working through a kata, determined to clear his mind, or at the very least prove to himself that he could remain sure on his feet. He could feel Jay watching him but the sensei kept his distance until Heero had finished drawing himself up, feeling pleased.

"Don't think I've ever seen that one," Jay spoke finally coming over.

Heero looked up, dark eyes focusing on Jay's face, and he shrugged his right shoulder, "Made it up…" he had done it without thinking. He had just wanted to work his muscles and coordination it hadn't mattered with what.

Jay laughed, and oddly enough Heero found it to be a welcoming sound, the sensei was relaxed around him, perhaps what had happened yesterday hadn't affected him. "Don't suppose you'd be able to do it again?" he sounded hopeful.

"Probably…" he returned not committing himself. He hadn't really been paying all that much attention, if his head was clearer he knew it wouldn't be a problem, but he hoped Jay wouldn't ask for another demonstration now.

"That's great, maybe you could show it to the class one of these days, they always like learning something new." Heero nodded silently noting that the students were coming out onto the floor their playful chatter filling the room, "Alright," Jay slapped his hands together stepping away from Heero and directing his attention to the rest of the room. "Let's get warmed up, I want to work on curriculum for the first part of class, and then I thought as a treat we'd take a run through the gauntlet."

There were more than a few cheers at the announcement and the excitement in the room seemed to double. Heero had been amazed by the attitudes of these young men and women, so carefree, he actually found himself wondering what it would have been like to be one of them. Being around them for an extended period of time he almost found himself relaxing right along with them, the corners of his lips twitching up at their jokes. He might not have laughed along with them, but he felt his spirits lift a little, they were loving life every minute it offered them, it was something Heero wasn't so familiar with. He knew so many more things than these students but in some cases he knew he was all but clueless.

Jay was watching Heero's face, "I think you'll like the gauntlet, I'll explain it to you when the time comes," he smiled as he moved to the head of the class, Heero only nodded in response and took up his position.

WMWMWMW

"Okay, line up," Jay called to the class, and Heero watched from where he stood as the students moved, it was clear they had done this before. "Odin why don't you take the spot between Chris and Josh," he said right hand indicating the two student's he had named. Heero walked towards them taking position between, and watched as the line of students across from him staggered themselves in relation to the line he stood in. "So this is how it works, Josh will start us off, He'll come to me, I'll attack he has to block, he can block me anyway he wants and counter. He'll then come to you, on your side of the line he'll attack and you get to block, it goes back and forth down the line and once he's done I'll do same thing until everyone's cycled through. You got that?"

Heero nodded his head, feeling tired and winded from the beginning of class, he had found his breath kept leaving him with less effort put out. It had actually been a challenge for him to keep up with Jay as the class wore on, and he appreciated the moments rest that he got standing here waiting for Josh to attack him. The moment came quickly enough and Heero felt as though his muscles were sluggish to respond, though he was able to block easily enough. He chose his counter instantly, a wristlock which had Josh dropping to his knees on the floor.

"Excellent!" Jay exclaimed, "Feel free to use wristlocks even take downs if you're comfortable but do it slowly since we don't have the padding out."

Josh continued on down the line a smile on his face and now a buzz had developed in the room, laughter right along with it. For his part Heero found his mind wandering as the fog over his thoughts thickened and he began to feel hot. He was tired, but determined to finished the class, he was not about to show weakness here. The pounding in his head had increased during class and it had been hard not to wince, but at least the sunlight wasn't spilling into the room which made it all bearable. His attention left Josh as a roar rose up in his ears, and he found fighting to keep his attention on the room, his mind kept wandering, the heat burning away all thought.

Heero's mind snapped back to attention when he felt the unknown attacker enter his personal space. The fist seemed to come out of the fog and he reacted taking hold of it and using his attacker's momentum to throw him to the ground. He knew it wouldn't be enough, he was on top immediately, around him he could feel movement hear voices though he couldn't make out what they were saying. They only drove him to finish off his enemy and move on, "Odin!" a voice shouted. Heero blinked the heat and fog parting so he was looking clearly into Jay's stunned face.

His fist had come to a sudden stop only inches from Jay's face, and horror filled Heero, as he slowly released the grip his other hand had found around Jay's neck. Heero jumped back though it was more of a stumble, unable to believe what he had almost done. He could feel the rest of the class standing in stunned silence around him, no one moved a muscle. Heero's body trembled and he shook his head taking off towards the change room, not looking back.

WMWMWMW

Jay's entire body felt frozen for what seemed like ages after Odin had walked away, the look he had seen in that young man's eyes was frightening. He had been looking directly at Jay's face, but there hadn't been an ounce of recognition. Groaning as he pushed himself up Jay looked around at his students stunned and somewhat frightened faces. "Alan," he called his senior most student while rubbing at the back of his head, Odin had thrown him before he had even seen it coming, he wasn't hurt but it had been one hell of a shock. "Will you take over the class? I need to speak with Odin," he looked towards the change room where the young man had disappeared.

Alan nodded his head still looking a little dumfounded, it had brought the class to a screeching halt, but Jay hoped they'd be able to move on. "Why don't you just spar or work on some katas, whatever the class likes," the sensei patted his student on the shoulder as he walked past and bowed himself off the mat. The class was still scattered but Alan was working on bringing their focus back when Jay pushed his way into the change room. He pressed the door closed securely behind him effectively shutting out the sounds of confused chatter that had begun to spring up.

He turned looking down the row of lockers to where Odin stood. He had stripped himself of both coat and shirt and stood leaning heavily against the closed locker beside his. Jay found himself staring in horror at what he could now see of Odin's body, innumerable scars covered his exposed flesh. Both old and new, though Jay couldn't say how old the newest ones actually were, they were vicious looking, one in particular on Odin's right arm. It looked as though his arm had been punctured by something - the skin was puckered and red. He wanted to move closer to get a better look, but was concerned about startling his guest again.

But why was Odin unaware of his presence right now? Why had he been caught off guard back out in the class? Those were two questions Jay didn't have an answer too. Odin had always been so aware, he would have even gone so far as to say on edge, so this behavior jumped out at him as very odd. Odin shifted then a rough sigh escaping him as he reached into his locker twisting further away from Jay.

And that was when he saw it, the brand he had felt the day before, all the questions came rushing back in a jumble and he stepped forward despite himself. It looked like a phoenix, every line in perfect detail, it stood out sharply against even Odin's scarred flesh. He winced at the thought but still had to appreciate the art of it, "Odin, that's--"

"Don't say anything!" the young man barked ripping his sweater from the locker and shrugging quickly into it, "There's nothing good about it."

Jay was stunned again, he hadn't even been sure what he was going to say, but he had to admit it would have been something nice, he wouldn't have known what else too say. "You regret doing it?" he asked calmly reminding himself in a moment of blessed clarity that he couldn't let Odin know that he had known anything about this.

Odin looked over his shoulder a dark glare on his face, "It was done against my will," he ground the words out.

That was phrased a little different than Wufei had told him, "Against your will?" he repeated, having no difficulty sounding surprised having yet to fully shake off the shock of being thrown by his guest. "How did that happen?"

Silence was his answer for many minutes, and Jay did not allow himself to believe he'd get an answer, but to his utter surprise one came of sorts, "Does that matter now?"

"Obviously," Jay was fast to return, "Why else could you not stand to have it touched?"

"Forget you saw it!"

"Is that how you deal with it?" he didn't understand why he said that, why he was pressing the issue when it was clearly something Odin wanted to avoid. The young man said nothing but tore his eyes away, "You run away from it?"

That struck a nerve, "Go to hell."

Jay shook his head, "That's childish Odin, and you know it," he folded his arms across his chest feeling secure in the knowledge that he didn't think the young man would attack him. Of course there was no way to be sure, but the look of horror Jay had seen in his eyes earlier on reassured him quite a bit. "Is that what you've been running from all along?" he asked gesturing with a slight turn of a wrist.

Odin slammed the door of his locker with a crash, the metal bouncing back open again, "Just leave it!" he was really agitated now, but he remained leaning against the row of lockers, again it seemed off to Jay but it just wasn't important enough to deal with.

"Why does it bother you so much?" he continued on, "You can't even see it."

"I know it's there!"

"It bothers you that much?" he truly wanted to understand. Odin shook his head, right fist clenching tightly at his side as he fought to keep a firm reign on his anger. But that was not answering Jay's questions, nor was it facing the problems, "Why?" he asked again a littler more firmly, he wanted an answer.

"Because I didn't want it!" he growled, "Because of what it means!" he shook his head, the last a venomous hiss, "Because I didn't know it had happened…" Odin's head came up a cold fire in those intense eyes, "Take your pick!" he spat the words.

Jay felt stunned again, what Odin had just said didn't seem to fit with what Wufei had told him, "How could you not know it happened?" the words slipped out before he could stop himself. The glare Odin directed his way went right through him and he shivered, that wasn't a question he was going to be getting an answer to anytime soon, but that didn't deter him immediately. It was becoming increasingly clear to him that Odin had been avoiding this for a while now, perhaps this was why he only ever seemed to shrug his right shoulder. "Why'd they do it to you?" he tried, it was an effort to keep his voice calm, but he managed it.

Odin's eyes narrowed further, "Because they could!" it didn't sound to Jay like he had really given it much thought.

Drawing in a calming breath Jay thought quickly, this wasn't getting him anywhere and he didn't want to drive Odin off before he had managed to understand a little more, so he quickly switched gears. "What does it mean?" he hoped at least Odin would offer him something.

"It means I betrayed my friends," he flared though his voice never raised.

Alarms went off in Jay's head, "Do they see it that way?" he couldn't see how that would be the case, if Wufei was a friend of his—which he certainly seemed to be—he definitely didn't act betrayed.

"That's not the point!"

"Is it why you ran away from them?" again before he could think better of it. Jay regretted that immediately, it was getting to close to revealing that he had made contact with someone who might be looking for Odin.

"Back off!" Odin warned darkly, thankfully appearing to have not noticed Jay's near slip.

Jay put out his hands in a sign of peace, "Look Odin, I'm not trying to judge you here, but it's obvious this bothers you and ignoring it isn't going to make it go away."

"Neither is talking about it," he fired back.

It was true and Jay nodded his head, a tattoo could be removed, but nothing - not even time was going to lesson the appearance of that brand. "I just think it would be better for you if you tired to accept it," he doubted that would go over well, and wasn't disappointed.

"What the hell do you know about me!"

"Not much, I'll admit," Jay shrugged, "It's only a suggestion, but if there's one thing I've learned since the war, it's that scars can be seen as a mark of survival." Odin's eyes narrowed dangerously, "I know this is not exactly like that, but there has to be a different way for you to look at this…"

Odin turned from him then, opening the locker door wider, nothing about him relaxed but at least he hadn't flared up again. Jay wasn't about to let himself hope that he was getting through to him.

"Are you going to come back out?" he asked then after a moments silence, and watched as Odin began removing his things from the locker, "What are you doing?"

"Leaving."

"Running from me too?" it was a careful line to walk but he kept his tone light hoping not to provoke.

"I almost killed you," there was no heat behind it, it was just a statement.

"Well you know what I say about 'almost'" Jay smiled, and was met with a blank look, "Almost only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, nuclear bombs and the occasional skunk," he laughed outright when the expression on Odin's face became more perplexed, but at least he had stopped moving. "I don't want you to up and leave over this," he said more seriously, Odin seemed to struggle with it, as he slowly shook his head.

Jay took a cautious step towards the young man, "From now on I'll just make sure I have your attention." He tried his best to gage what Odin was thinking in that moment truly hoping his guest wasn't actually going to take off. But he could see nothing in the hard face to tell him what Odin was thinking. "I'll see you later?" he asked.

A moment passed between them, Odin leaning against the lockers with his head down. He looked tired, he said nothing - didn't even turn around, but finally his head nodded. Jay breathed a sigh of relief, though he was reluctant to leave Odin, it didn't feel right. Still he knew there was nothing more he could say at the moment. Nothing was going to make this situation feel any better, he was just going to have to hope for the best. With one last look over his shoulder Jay walked back out to his class, the incident hadn't been forgotten but at least things were moving again, the laughter having returned albeit subdued.

WMWMWMW

Once again Jay tried his best to keep an eye open for Odin, he wanted to see his guest leave the change room and go upstairs. He wanted to know for sure that Odin wasn't going to run away. But he saw nothing in what was left of the class. It ran long as many of his students tried to understand what had happened, what was wrong with Odin. He answered them as best he could outright lying for the most part. What else could he really say?

When finally he did make it upstairs he noted immediately that Odin's coat and shoes were gone. He didn't immediately jump to any conclusions, but walked down the hall to check the guest room. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that Odin's case was still resting on the floor beside the bed. Closing the door Jay decided the best thing he could do was get on with his evening and wait for Odin to return, like the day before, he'd show, but tonight Jay wasn't going to turn in until he had.

He went to his room and changed before making himself a quick dinner and settling down in his living room to watch the evening news. Jay attempted to focus on the news and not worry, but it was an effort. He kept replaying the event of the class in his head, over and over again trying to see something new to come to an understanding, to put it all straight in his head. He wondered if there had been a better way to approach Odin? If there had been something more he could have said to convince the young man it was alright.

The sound of someone coming up the stairs caught Jay's attention and his eyes flickered to the clock to see what time it was, it was going on eight. He shifted to the edge of his seat and turned to see Odin walk up, he couldn't remember ever being able to hear the young man approach before. "Hey Odin," Jay greeted with a smile, "Where you been?"

"Out," Odin replied keeping his head down as he removed his coat and shoes, he had been doing that a lot today, Jay noted. His movements also seemed slower than normal, as though he were not as sure of himself. That leapt out at the sensei, Odin had always appeared to be a very sure young man.

"You want something to eat?" he offered knowing his guest had hardly touched food all day.

Odin just slowly shook his head and walked past, head down eyes hidden behind a curtain of unruly hair. Jay didn't settle back in his chair but watched Odin closely, something wasn't right. Odin's steps faulted as he neared the hall, and his hand shot out as though to support himself against the wall, but he was too far from it. Jay jumped to his feet and crossed the distance in two strides offering his arm to the smaller man for support. Odin's hand gripped him tightly and he could feel a tremor run through him.

"Odin, are you alright?" he asked now very concerned.

For a time Odin didn't answer but kept his head down, his right hand massaging at his eyes slowly. But when he did look up his body stiffened and he released Jay's arm, "I'm fine," he said the words convincingly but Jay didn't believe.

"Are you sure?" he pressed, "Cause you've been acting kind of odd…"

"Just let it go!" Odin's head came up sharply his cobalt eyes defensive, "I said I was fine!"

He found himself looking more closely at Odin's face, able to see it better now that he was close. The young man had been acting strange all day, but Jay hadn't been able to guess why. Now he thought he might know, "Do you have a fever?" he asked reaching out a hand to Odin's flushed features before he could think better of it. Odin jerked back with a glare but not before Jay's hand brushed across his forehead, "You do!" he was surprised, but suddenly everything else made sense, Odin was sick, no wonder he had been acting oddly all day.

"I'm fine!" Odin growled firmly and increased the distance between himself and Jay.

Jay shook his head, he wasn't, hadn't been all day and yet he insisted on saying it, "It's like a mantra to you, isn't it?" he called down the hall drawing Odin to a stop, "You think that if you say that enough it might actually be true?" Odin's eyes narrowed dangerously at that, but Jay wasn't going to be intimidated by this young man, "You don't always have to be fine Odin, you can't be invincible, you're human, why can't you admit that?"

Odin hesitated for a moment outside his door, right hand on the knob as he looked back down the hall to Jay. His dark eyes were impossible to read, and the set of his shoulders looked tense, "Old habits die hard…" he said softly, his expression going blank as he walked into his room closing the door behind him.

Jay stood there staring for several minutes, he didn't want to just shrug the matter aside and walk away. Couldn't pretend like none of this had happened; and not just because it seemed to be what Odin expected would happen. He shook his head, that wasn't what should happen, Odin shouldn't have to act like nothing was wrong. The young man was always pushing himself, like he had to be perfect. There was a fire in his eyes while he was training, a rock hard determination. Jay didn't get the impression that Odin was used to relaxing and that soft comment 'Old habits die hard…' only confirmed it.

Jay turned from the hall then and made his way to the kitchen, turning on the kettle. He wanted to understand Odin's thinking, what drove him to fight for these standards, why he pushed away any help that was offered to him. And while he tried to get those answers there was absolutely no reason why the young man shouldn't be a little more comfortable, even if he didn't want to admit his discomfort in the first place. Jay took hold of the steaming mug and grabbed a bottle of pills from the cabinet before walking down the hall to Odin's room. Knocking on the wooden door he called out to the occupant, "Odin, you still up?"

He waited for a moment before the response came, "Yeah."

Taking that as an invitation to come inside he opened the door a little awkwardly and walked into the dark room, light from the hall spilled in behind Jay and he searched about for a moment to find Odin. The small man was seated in the corner of his bed back pressed tight, knees drawn to his chest, eyes watching the door and now Jay's face. His expression was hard to read and not just because there was next to no lighting in the room, "I brought you this," he said offering the bottle of pills first.

"What are they?" he asked not moving from his spot, a suspicious light entering into his dark eyes.

"Tylenol," Jay replied simply, but when Odin still didn't move he felt the need to clarify, "It'll help bring down your fever."

"No thanks," Odin shook his head, and almost as an after thought added, "Don't need it."

As if his flushed features weren't enough to say he did, but Jay shrugged and placed the bottle on the dresser behind him. He wasn't going to press the issue, it wasn't like this was life threatening and if possible he wanted to keep Odin in a relatively good mood. "Somehow I expected you'd say that, which is why I also brought you this," he extended his other hand that held the steaming mug.

Again Odin's eyes took on a suspicious light, "And this would be?"

"Neocitrin," he waited a moment to see if recognition would enter into Odin's eyes, when none came he explained, "It's a hot drink for when you have a cold, it'll help clear your head so you can sleep." Jay hoped Odin would accept this, again it wasn't a huge problem, but he noted a slight shift in Odin's breathing that he had missed up until now that suggested the young man was congested. He wanted to see Odin accept this if only to have him admit that he wasn't perfectly fine.

Slowly, almost cautiously, Odin's hand reached out to take the hot mug from Jay's hand before pulling back. The sensei eased himself down onto a wooden chair across from the bed, for the moment at least feeling as though his presence was not unwelcome. He watched as Odin took a few tentative sips from the mug and smiles subtly to himself when he saw that the young man appeared to like it. "Odin," he spoke his guests name into the silence between them knowing he wanted to ask him a question, but not actually sure how to put it into words. "Why don't you take a break?" that caused a raised eyebrow, as he continued to sip the steaming tea.

"Why do you always push yourself?" Jay continued having been wondering about that for a while now. He had never met such a determined man before, so driven to out do himself. Again he received no answer only a questioning look, "Why not give yourself a break every now and again?"

"And do what?" Odin returned finally sounding completely at a loss.

"I don't know," Jay shrugged with a smile, "What ever you want to do."

"I'm doing what I want."

"Working yourself until you get sick?" he shot back, keeping his tone light not wanting to turn this into a fight, just trying to learn a little of how Odin thought.

Odin's eyes narrowed a little at that, "That's not what happened," he defended, and Jay breathed a silent sigh of relief, there was no heat in his voice.

"Maybe not," Jay rescinded quickly, "But shouldn't you know your limits?"

"I do," Odin said seriously.

"Then back to my original question," Jay chuckled, hoping this time to get on honest answer.

"Which was?"

"Why do you push yourself?"

"Limits are set to be broken," he said it as though it should have been obvious.

Jay sat back slowly eyes studying Odin in the silence, "That's one way to look at it I guess…" he said slowly. In truth he had taught his students something along those lines but he had never meant for them to tackle the limits Odin seemed determined to achieve.

It was Odin's turn to look questioning, "What does any of this matter?"

"I just don't think its good for you," Jay answered honestly.

Odin scoffed at that and shook his head finishing off the last of the neocitrin, "I don't understand…" he breathed, his cobalt eyes staring directly at Jay's.

"Understand what?" the sensei asked in return, a spark of excitement flickering within him, at the possibility that he might actually learn something.

The young man looked down at the mug he still held in his hand and turned it towards Jay, "I don't understand why people keep trying to help me," he looked up then, "What do you expect to gain?"

Jay sat up straighter at that, stunned by the question and a little hurt as well. He had never once expected to gain anything from helping anyone, he'd always been happy to offer whatever he could. "Odin…" he didn't quite know what to say if this young man wasn't accustom to freely offered aid, "Not everyone expects something in return Odin."

"Then why try to help?" it truly seemed to be a foreign concept to him.

Sighing, Jay tried to think of an answer that would make sense to Odin, if gang life was what this young man was used to Jay could understand why this might seem odd to him. "Because I thought you might need it, and I've always tried to help anyone in need," he slid to the edge of his seat leaning forward trying to better see what was in Odin's eyes. "I've never had any strings attached, but sometimes people get something in return even if that's not what they're after. For me it's satisfaction, to know I helped someone. I don't need anything else."

Odin appeared to mull this over and Jay wished he knew what the young man was thinking but even if the room had been brightly lit he knew Odin's features would be unreadable. Jay sighed softly, telling himself this was all he would get. Glancing at his watch before looking back to Odin, Jay realized it was time he let his guest get some sleep. Coming to his feet he reached out a hand for the empty mug Odin was still holding, "Try and get a good night sleep," he said as he moved towards the door. He doubted that would be hard for Odin, he had looked drained most of the day. With one last glance back at his still mysterious guest Jay closed the door behind him.

Thanks for Reading!

**34 Questions**:

"Odin? Something wrong?" Jay asked stepping up beside him.

Heero blinked shaking his head slightly, "There's something I need to take care off…" he began walking away, "I'll be back," he tossed back over his shoulder. Knowing Jay would be curious and no doubt try and see where Heero went, he was grateful that Sally continued to move away from the food court.

Trailing along behind Heero kept a careful distance until he could find an opportunity to speak with Sally alone. He saw that opening as Sally made her way towards the bathrooms, the crowds had thinned some but was not spars enough to give him away. Picking up his pace Heero closed the distance and he reached out to grab Sally's arm, "Relax," he growled in low tones when she tensed and moved to pull away. She said nothing, obviously couldn't risk it where people were around to listen. He directed her towards a service door, eyes darting around he pushed his way through pulling Sally along with him.

Once safely on the other side Heero pushed the doctor away from him looking up at her with a dark expression, "What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded.

"I could ask you the same question," she fired back quickly her stance firm expression resembling what he remembered from years back. "But to answer your question, I was shopping," she raised the bags in her hands as if to prove it.

"And the others?" he felt wary, it had been a week he hadn't felt the need to look over his shoulder at every turn; but that didn't mean they had now got fed up with waiting and decided to retrieve him.

"They aren't here," she assured.

Heero didn't feel entirely convinced, "You haven't been searching?"

"No," she sighed shaking her head, "I wanted to," Sally added, "But I was talked out of it."

He didn't quite breathe a sigh of relief; it was what he had wanted to hear. It meant they had realised their mistake—not that he doubted they would—they were going to wait for him to decide to return. Though there was still the chance they'd get tired of waiting.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	59. 34 Questions

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: New chapter! Sorry about the wait, but better late than never right! I've finally got past a huge bout of writer's block, two really difficult scenes to write will do that, but now things are moving smoothly again! This was a really fun chapter to write, one I've been looking forward to posting for a long time!

I've another new editor, so I'd like to thank **morgansgirl Pious Knight **and **Featherbird **Thanks to all of you, you're making this story better and better!

**Morrighan of Crimson and Sable**: (laughs) It's true but he wouldn't really be Heero if he wasn't stubborn now would he? Thanks for the review!

**Midnight's Falling Star**: Thanks for the review! I love stubborn Heero but sometimes I want to hit his head against a wall since his stubborn nature is making a scene so hard to write (laughs) As for the fever, don't worry it's just a cold he'll get better real soon. Thanks again I hope you like this chapter as well!

**Starlight-x**: Thank you very much! It's great to know you've been enjoying the story for so long (smiles) I've never attempted anything this long or complex before, and to be totally honest it was never supposed to be this long or complex (laughs) I blame the fact that it is on neekabe, though she'll deny it to the death. (laughs) thanks again! I hope you continue to enjoy this story!

**L.A.UNE**: Thanks so much, sorry for the delay I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Wufei-the-back-side-slayer**: Thank you for the review! Sometimes it can be a little frustrating writing Heero from someone else POV (laughs) especially Jay. I find it hard because he doesn't know who Heero really is so it leaves me with less terms to describe Heero by, there's also the fear that I might have Jay think Heero's name instead of Odin. But thankfully I don't think I've made that mistake (smiles) I really like Jay! I love Heero with a cold (smiles) he didn't realise it, and that just made it cute….I didn't actually notice I had written it that way until neekabe pointed it out to me (laughs) yeah I'm like that. Thanks again!

**jellybean-kitty**: Thank you! You mean the brand? Yeah that's been fun to have him deal with, and more than a little difficult (laughs) but I've got some more things planned for it, some good….others…..not so good (laughs) Thanks again for the review!

**IchikoKitsuneKoumori**: Yeah I'm bad, I let him catch a cold, but he'll get better really soon I promise! Thanks for the review I hope you enjoy the new chapter.

**Kreizuch**: Thank you for the review! I really enjoy writing the Gundam character (laughs) with a few exceptions. The pilots are great fun to write, but you're exactly right they are all different, although I agree that Trowa and Heero are similar, but only in the sense that I think they understand each other. Yes Jay will learn who Heero really is, but that's a ways off still, but it'll be fun when he does. Believe me I wish I could post chapters faster (laughs) but there's lots LOTS more to come I promise, and more double chapters too! Heero returns to the agency in chapter 61, this meeting with Sally doesn't really go anywhere, Heero's not ready to go back yet. I'm sorry to disappoint (smiles) but I don't write lemons, things might get a little limey depending on what your definition is, but I never let it go more than that (laughs) just the way I am. Oh! I almost forgot! Did you get my reply? Did you get your prize for being the only one to ask about Heero's eye? If not give me your email in your next review and I'll send it then. But as for Heero's eye, I don't know if I want to spoil it, but there is something there, and they do find out what it is. As for the phoenix….I'm not sure I have no artistic skills to draw it, I always just saw it as an outline, wings spread on either side, the head turned in one direction….I don't know if that helps at all….probably not. But thank you for the review!

**Mini Nicka**: Thanks for the review! When he goes back to the agency (laughs) they don't exactly talk, but it's good times nonetheless (smiles)

**Mikinyet**: Thanks for the review! Heero will be back with the others in chapter 61, Jay doesn't actually tell Wufei about Heero having been sick, he's got some other things on his mind the next time when he calls. Thanks again! I hope you enjoy!

**theevilashleyness**: Sorry for the delay! Thanks for the review! I hope you enjoy!

**Tarijima**: Thank you! Thank you very much! I really don't know, I can clearly remember a time when I couldn't write to save my life (laughs) thank you again! I hope you continue to enjoy!

**D3**: (laughs) Although I'm not familiar with where Jay and Silent Bob come from I can remember a number of times when I was in school that two of my friends would dress up as them for assemblies. So to hear you mention that made me laugh as well. Thanks for the review!

**lil'demon**: Sorry the regular update fell a little short, I'm working on getting back to those regular updates but it might take a little while. Actually I decided not to do anything for Christmas really besides mentioning it, anything I thought of sounded really clichéd and so I thought it might be best to avoid it altogether….I think I have a party scene in there that might be near Christmas…or New Years….well anyways thanks for the review!

**Walking Dictionary**: Thanks for the review (laughs) you're like the 3rd or 4th person to mention that, it's a little late now though, I'm not much for changing things after they're posted. I hope you continue to enjoy.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing

**34 Questions**

Heero glanced out the kitchen window staring at the grey day. It was the 9th of December, a Saturday, so the calendar read. He awoke late in the morning again, having slept through the night uninterrupted, and he felt a lot better for it. He still didn't really feel like eating, but Jay hadn't pressed him; he had offered but took no as the final answer. He kept turning over what had happened the day before in his mind. He wasn't sure how he wanted to feel about it. Was he angry at Jay? Heero didn't think so. He was mad at himself for being so weak the day before, but he was left more curious about Jay's words to him last night.

It still felt like a strange concept to him, though not entirely foreign. John had offered his help, though was that not his job? What about Ash, why had he tried to help Heero through all those years? It was an answer Heero didn't have, and would probably never get since he couldn't see himself asking. Human nature would remain a mystery to him, though he was finding himself becoming more accustomed to some of it.

Glancing over at the digital stove clock Heero saw that it was going on five in the evening. Jay didn't teach classes on weekends which had left Heero with little to do. Jay had seemed content to busy himself on the computer and watch a little TV, but Heero couldn't bring himself to remain still for that long. Not when he had been forced to be still for months. Without a word to the sensei Heero had made his way down stairs around noon to do some weight training. He had needed to burn off some energy. Heero half expected Jay to appear at some point in time and quietly begin working on his own, but he never showed.

"You ready to go?" Jay asked coming up behind him, his question breaking through Heero's thoughts.

Turning away from the window where soft snow had begun to fall, he raised an eyebrow in question, "Go where?"

"I understand Alan told you that Saturdays we get together at a local bar for drinks and sometimes dinner," the sensei smiled easily as he reached for his coat and shrugged into it before pulling on his boots. "So you coming?" Heero thought about the offer for a moment. He didn't want or need to drink, but it would certainly give him something better to do than just stare off in thought. "Of course if you don't feel up to it, I'd understand," Jay put in quickly.

"I…" Heero stopped himself before saying 'I'm fine' and just nodded his head, "I'll go." He saw Jay's smile widen as the taller man turned away. He had caught the near slip, but if he thought Heero had stopped himself because of what Jay had said the night before he was wrong. Heero had never thought of it like a mantra. It was just the fact; he had to be fine, and therefore was.

They left the dojo together, Jay taking a moment to lock the door behind them before he turned back towards the street and gestured down the road. "It's not far from here," he said starting off down the sidewalk and Heero followed alongside. Within five minutes they had reached their destination. Lights shone from the windows of an old building, even an old fashioned sign hung from above the door declaring this establishment to be 'The King's Bar'. Jay opened the door for both of them, a blast of warm air striking Heero's face as he walked in.

Dark eyes scanned over the busy pub. Waitresses waded through the customers and tables on quick feet, their orders carried on silver platters held above the crowds, much like he had seen in just about every other bar. Laughter and conversation overrode any music that might have been playing, and the TV's suspended from the ceiling didn't even need speakers, they all displaced one sport or another. Heero's eyes caught sight of the karate group near the back of the bar taking up several tables as well as one of the bar's pool tables. Jay waved to his students but didn't make his way over to them right away, instead he stopped at the bar first.

"The usual Jay?" the bartender ask walking over to them.

"Please," Jay replied with a smile and looked to Heero, "What would you like Odin?"

The bartender passed Jay a bottle of beer, and looked to Heero, "Water," he answered without hesitation. The older man nodded his head and got Heero a tall glass with ice.

He could feel Jay's eyes watching him. But if he had any questions he didn't ask them, just led the way over to his class, where he was greeted with handshakes and wide smiles. Heero's presence had a slightly different reaction. This was the first time any of them had seen him since he had nearly killed their sensei. Smiles didn't necessarily falter but there was more than one long questioning stare. He didn't know what Jay might have said to them when he went back to the class, but within a few moments things relaxed a little and the conversations started again.

Heero sat on the outside of most of it, watching the interaction of these people. Jay kept including him wherever possible but he had little to actually say. They were there for twenty minutes when Jay took a seat beside him after playing a game of darts. "You hungry?" he asked leaning in a little closer so he could be heard. "They've got a great platter of finger food if you don't want anything huge…" he explained finishing off his beer.

He thought about it for a moment. The thought of food wasn't that bad. "I usually order one when I come here," Jay continued. Heero couldn't be sure with all the noise but he thought the sensei sounded hopeful.

"Sure," Heero finally responded with a nod, which caused Jay to smile widely as he turned in his chair to flag down a waitress.

She wrote down his order than looked up smiling, "Can I get both of you another drink?"

"Yeah," Jay raised his empty bottle, "That'd be great."

The blond smiled Heero's way, "And you?"

Heero shook his head, "I'm fine with water."

"Alright," she smiled broadly then walked off.

"C'mon Odin, don't drink?" Jay laughed eyes flickering about the room to where his students sat and talked or played a friendly game of pool.

"Not often," Heero replied resting his elbow on the table.

"No?" Jay seemed to consider this for a moment, "Don't like the taste?"

Heero shrugged resting his chin on his up turned hand, considering what sort of answer he wanted to give. Would anything blunt or vague put Jay off the scent? "Don't need it," he settled on for lack of anything better to say.

Jay nodded slowly, "Ah well, it's not everyone's cup of tea," he smiled raising the new bottle he had just received. They sat in relative silence for several moments, Heero's ears catching several conversations all at once. Absolutely nothing of interest. "You play pool?" Jay asked suddenly scrapping his chair back.

Looking over to the now empty table, Heero said, "I've seen it played." Ash had tried on more than one occasion to get him to play, but the times Heero had chosen to go into a bar had never been for pleasure.

"Well you have to start somewhere," he stood motioning for Heero to come with him.

WMWMWMW

Heero raked a hand through his still damp hair as he left his room Sunday morning. Fortunately they had not remained out all that late the night before. He had not minded the relaxed atmosphere of the bar, had found himself relaxing a little as the time wore on, though he never really opened up to the other students who seemed to forget their wariness as the drinks came and went. His head hadn't even really been a problem for him, with all the lights and nose, though he had felt a little drained. Not that he'd have admitted that fact for anything. Jay had called it a night close to nine, much to the complaints of his students.

Stepping out into the living room Heero saw Jay standing in the kitchen drinking a glass of orange juice, "Good morning."

Heero gave a brief nod of his head in response.

"You told me last night you'd never played pool before," he sounded inquisitive.

"I hadn't," he told him honestly.

Jay shook his head, "Odin no rookie pulls shots like that, there's not enough luck in the world for it."

"It's just physics…" he shrugged. Once he had got used to the cue it hadn't been all that hard to make the shots. He could see why Jay liked the game so much.

"Heh," Jay shook his head while pouring second glass of orange juice, which Heero accepted, "That's the way the _pros_ look at it."

Heero didn't miss the subtly stressing, "You don't believe me," there was no point in making it a question, but he didn't sound angry either, it didn't really matter one way or the other.

"Never said that," Jay placated with a joking smile, "I never said that, it's just a little odd, well it's a lot odd." He laughed, shaking his head. "Forget about it, just don't ever let me bet money on a game against you. Do you want some breakfast?" he asked, completely switching gears.

The former pilot shook his head, as he took a seat on the stool and drank his orange juice. He had eaten some of what Jay had bought last night, had actually found a lot of it to be really good.

"Still not feeling well?" Jay looked up from putting the orange juice away.

"No," Heero returned, "Just not hungry."

"Well I've already had something and I was thinking of taking a trip out to the mall, you want to come?" the sensei's blue eyes watched Heero subtly as he moved about the kitchen straightening up.

This was yet another day of no classes, leaving Heero with nothing to do. He nodded his head. Anything would be better than sitting around doing nothing. "When?" he asked finishing off the juice.

"I was thinking of leaving within an hour or so," he sounded relaxed about it, "There's no rush…" he chuckled, "This time of the year you can't be in a rush."

"This time of year?" Heero asked. He hadn't thought too much about it.

Jay laughed, "You're kidding right? Christmas Odin, it's in fifteen days."

He nodded in silent understanding. Ash had always liked to try and make a big deal of the holiday, bringing lights and decorations to string up around Heero's apartment. He had never given it too much thought. The war had come to an end around Christmas, but before that Heero had no recollection of having ever noticed the day. Though he did seem to have a very vague memory of Odin giving him a small something, just a snack really, but it had been the only time.

"Not a big fan of Christmas?" Jay asked tilting his head down to try and see into Heero's eyes.

"Never really celebrated," he shrugged the matter aside. No doubt Relena had something in mind, and that was an appealing thought, Heero realized.

WMWMWMW

Heero felt amazed at the sheer volume of people moving about the mall. It resembled a colorful, stormy sea, and it made him uncomfortable. He did not like having so many people so close to him, it was an effort to keep a void of space around him. By the time Jay had finished getting the few things he had needed, Heero was feeling on edge - he just wanted to be away. Despite his discomfort, Heero had made use of this outing, buying some more clothes, and a small bear that had caught his eye making him think of Relena. The latter he had been sure to purchase when Jay had been distracted by something else.

He tried his best not to think about her. It was harder and harder to keep himself from wanting to go back to see her. He did want to see her, wasn't surprised at how much he wanted to hold her, smell her scent around him. But he was still bothered by that ache in his chest. It gnawed at him rather painfully. He had been separated from her for three years. Yes, it had bothered him, but not like this, so why couldn't he force the pain aside? He didn't know why, but Heero remained determined to return on his terms when he felt his point had been firmly made.

"Odin," Jay's voice broke through his thoughts and he looked over seeing the sensei moving off from their original path, "Let's take a seat." He moved into the food court and Heero followed behind as they searched out an empty table.

As was his habit Heero scanned the crowed, not necessarily searching out potential threats but just wanting to know who was around him. Jay had finally come to a stop, placing his bags down on one of the four chairs. Heero was doing the same when his cobalt eyes caught sight of a familiar face. His breath stopped, eyes narrowing. She hadn't seen him yet, but would she? Would she try to take him back? She hadn't been acting like herself these last few months, but his sudden disappearance might have shaken her. He couldn't risk it, he was going to have to confront her.

"Odin? Something wrong?" Jay asked stepping up beside him.

Heero blinked shaking his head slightly, "There's something I need to take care of…" he began walking away, "I'll be back," he tossed back over his shoulder. Knowing Jay would be curious and no doubt try and see where Heero went, he was grateful that Sally continued to move away from the food court.

Tailing along behind Heero kept a careful distance until he could find an opportunity to speak with Sally alone. He saw that opening as Sally made her way towards the bathrooms, the crowds had thinned some but was not sparse enough to give him away. Picking up his pace Heero closed the distance and he reached out to grab Sally's arm, "Relax," he growled in low tones when she tensed and moved to pull away. She said nothing, obviously couldn't risk it where people were around to listen. He directed her towards a service door, eyes darting around he pushed his way through pulling Sally along with him.

Once safely on the other side Heero pushed the doctor away from him looking up at her with a dark expression, "What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded.

"I could ask you the same question," she fired back quickly, her stance and firm expression resembling what he remembered from years back. "But to answer your question, I was shopping," she raised the bags in her hands as if to prove it.

"And the others?" He felt wary. It had been a week and he hadn't felt the need to look over his shoulder at every turn, but that didn't mean they weren't now fed up with waiting and decided to retrieve him.

"They aren't here," she assured.

Heero didn't feel entirely convinced, "You haven't been searching?"

"No," she sighed shaking her head, "I wanted to," Sally added, "But I was talked out of it."

He didn't quite breathe a sigh of relief; it was what he had wanted to hear. It meant they had realized their mistake—not that he doubted they would—they were going to wait for him to decide to return. Though there was still the chance they'd get tired of waiting.

"Where have you been?" again that note of authority entered into her voice, so familiar. He had begun to think he wouldn't hear it any more.

"Around," he answered vaguely. If there was one person he was not going to tell he had been staying at a dojo it was Sally.

"When are you planning on coming back?"

"When I feel like it," the tone was firm, leaving no room for argument.

Of course he knew it wouldn't stop Sally from trying, especially now that she was acting more like herself, "What if someone recognizes you?"

"I've been dead near half a year," he returned, "No one's looking for me."

"Relena misses you." It was an underhanded tactic not at all outside Sally's arsenal.

Heero didn't even blink. "But she understands." He didn't doubt for a minute that she understood how he felt, that he _needed_ to do this.

"Have you been eating?" she asked, completely switching gears. Her eyes looking at him more critically, he almost felt as though he were being weighed where he stood.

Didn't take much thought to know which answer to give, "Yes." Whether she believed him or not was another matter and one he didn't care about. He wasn't going to be around much longer to deal with it.

Her eyes narrowed dangerously, though it became clear that she was going to wait until he had returned to the agency to push the issue, as her expression slowly softened. "I'm glad to know you're alright," she said finally, yet again switching gears as though she weren't entirely comfortable with her usual self.

Heero folded his arms across his chest, "I hope you aren't planning on following me," he said firmly, wanting to go back, to re-establish the distance he had put between himself in his friends.

Sally hesitated, but finally nodded her head, "I hope you come back soon," she said as she walked from the room.

He waited several minutes before finally walking back out into the main part of the mall, his eyes searching for Sally despite the fact that he was sure she had left. Heero made his way back towards the food court. He didn't walk particularly fast, knowing full well Jay would probably have a bunch of questions for him. It would be a miracle if even one of them was something he could answer honestly. Finding Jay as he had expected, sitting but waiting on the edge of his seat, eyes searching through the crowds. When finally they landed on Heero, the sensei came to his feet.

"What was that all about?" he asked immediately. It was clear the curiosity was killing him.

"Just saw an old friend from the war." he kept the answer as vague as he could, really hoping Jay hadn't seen who he had went after.

Jay's smile took on a slightly evil caste, "This old friend wouldn't happen to be a girlfriend would it?" Heero stopped midway to sitting down and threw a disbelieving look Jay's way. He couldn't even begin to imagine being closer to Sally than he already was; it was crazy. "I'll take that as a no," Jay laughed.

"Who was she then?" he pressed on sitting across from Heero

"What makes you think it was a she?" he deflected.

The taller man shrugged, "I just think if she wasn't, you would have said so."

"She's a medic I met back during the war." He felt a little surprised. It was a true answer, though still a little vague.

"What, no name?" Jay was never satisfied.

"You need a name?"

"It wouldn't be uncommon for you to have mentioned it." he waited to see if Heero would speak her name.

That wasn't something the former pilot was going to give. It wasn't that he thought Sally's name would be famous, known among the masses. But he thought it wouldn't be an entirely unknown name either, since the king and his sister were both under her care. That sort of knowledge would be available. Heero's eyes glanced around the bright court in which they sat, choosing to change the subject rather than answer, "What are we doing here?"

Jay appeared reluctant to let the previous conversation go, but finally answered, "In case you hadn't noticed the time, its past lunch."

Heero glanced at his watch. He hadn't noticed.

"Odin, you hardly ate anything yesterday, didn't have breakfast today, you can't honestly expect me to believe you're not hungry."

He shrugged, "You can believe whatever you want."

Jay stared at him for several long seconds, before finally throwing up his hands, "Fine. Will you watch my bags while I go get something?" Heero nodded mutely in response.

He watched the sensei disappear into the crowd as he sat back in the metal chair, folding his arms across his chest. The back of the chair pressed against his shirt and he could feel it scratch against the brand, but he remained where he was a dark expression on his face. Men, women and children moved about the open space of the food court seating themselves at nearby tables to have noisy conversations about unimportant matters. Heero tuned them out and continued to wait for Jay, his eyes searching him out among the crowd.

It had been nearly fifteen minutes before Jay materialized out of the throngs of people. Heero noted right away that Jay was carefully carrying two trays, and he sat forward, eyes narrowing a little at that. He was up to something, and Heero sat a little straighter, preparing himself for whatever Jay had in mind.

"Here," the sensei said as he placed both trays on the table and passed one across to Heero's side, "You're too thin not to be hungry."

He looked down at that food it looked like an oriental dish, and smelled well enough, but he wasn't going to give in this easily, "I didn't ask for this," Heero told him calmly and slid the tray closer to center.

"Nope, but they were having a deal, buy one get one free," he pressed it back across, "You can't pass up on an offer like that."

"I can," he blocked the tray with his hand.

Jay laughed, completely undaunted, "Alright how about this, I suggest a challenge!"

"Challenge?" he couldn't help but be a little curious.

"Right!" he leaned forward, obviously very excited now, "I'll ask you a series of yes or no questions, and you choose either to answer or eat a little food."

"What makes you think I'll choose either?"

"Because you're enjoying yourself," he picked up his own fork, "You don't let yourself have near enough fun."

Heero stared at Jay with a raised eyebrow. He was serious about this, and Heero felt surprised that he was not one hundred percent against it. He settled back in his chair. Folding his arms across his chest, Heero was convinced that he wouldn't be touching the food anytime soon. Jay had already started in on his, but had been watching Heero the entire time obviously trying to gage how this was going. When he saw it was favorable he smiled broadly.

"Great!" he chewed more thoughtfully one another fork of food, "Alright first question, do you have a girlfriend?"

He blinked, having had no idea what to expect out of Jay, he was kind of surprised, but had an answer, "Yes."

Jay rubbed his hands together, "Is that who the bear is for?" The former pilot's eyes narrowed though he didn't glance at the bag sitting beside him. Had Jay gone through it? "I caught sight of the leg when you put the bag down, so…"

He nodded finally still wanting to avoid the food, "Yes."

"So what kind of girl would Odin Lowe like?" Jay asked his fork moving about the plate rapidly.

"That's not a yes or no question," he pointed out calmly.

"Well then I'll just have to rephrase," he considered it for a moment, his blue eyes glancing around, "Is she like her?" he asked pointing at a red head sitting not too far off.

Heero looked without turning his head, "No."

"How about her?" this time he gestured at a brunette with a round face.

"No."

"Hmmm…" he mused softly eating more of his meal as he thought, "Somehow I wouldn't put it past you to say no to everything I suggest at least with human models." He leaned forward his elbows on the table, "So I'll just have to try something different, does she have blond hair?"

"Yes."

"Not the type I would've pegged you for if I had been asked, blond with blue eyes?"

"Yes," Heero rather liked this game so far. His meal stood untouched and if he could keep it that way he would.

"Is she tall?" it was hard to flesh out the image of a woman with just yes or no questions but Jay seemed to want to give it a try.

"No."

"Around your height?"

Heero noted a devious light enter into Jay's eyes after he had asked that last question, and he felt sure he wasn't going to like what came next. So far this game of Jay's had not succeeded in it's intended goal, that being getting Heero to eat. He answered finally, "Yes."

"Odin," his name sounded very pointed as Jay rubbed his hands together, "Are you having fun?"

There was that word again, one that on the outside seemed so simple. It had to be a straight forward concept, but Heero didn't understand it. He reminded himself though that Jay was expecting some form of answer and with this one at least he was caught between a rock and a hard place. If said yes, Jay won. Not an appealing thought, but if he didn't respond at all and took a bite of food the sensei won yet again, since that had been his goal from the start. Despite his limited options Heero didn't take long to decide, his right hand reached for the fork, and he took his first mouthful of food. It had cooled off over the wait but still tasted good. Jay appeared to fight the urge to rub his hands together.

"Alright then," he smiled seeming for the moment at least to be satisfied, "Back to your girlfriend, is she your age?"

Heero had never been all that sure of his age, but he felt Relena and he were close enough that he could say "Yes."

"Huh, I wondered where you two first met…" it was a situation Heero knew Jay would never be able to guess, "Was it in school?"

"No."

"Right you were privately taught," Jay chuckled correcting himself, "You met her during the war?"

"Yes."

"Was she a soldier too?"

The Japanese man felt like laughing at the thought, and he shook his head emphatically, "No."

"Was she a nurse then?"

"No."

"Not a soldier, not a nurse…" he considered it for a minute his eyes looking off, "A Civilian?"

That was a little bit more of a tricky question. By a certain definition Heero supposed Relena would be counted as, but it didn't really feel like it fit to him. Besides, if it confused Jay, why not? "No."

"What else is there!" he demanded with mock exasperation, "Alright, is she the daughter of an important family? Say a politician?"

"Yes."

Again that mischievous light entered Jay's eyes, "Have you kissed her?"

A stupid question Heero thought, but it was delivered in the hope that he would again eat from the meal Jay had bought him. But this time Heero wasn't going to give him that satisfaction, "Yes."

"Is it a serious relationship?"

Heero considered the question for several moments, not sure of an answer, not sure what other sort of relationship it could possibly be. In the end he reluctantly ate a little more food.

"You don't know but you'd like it to be?" Jay supplied an answer for his last question and carried on intently.

That was a question Heero knew he wouldn't answer even if he had fully understood the first, so again the fork came to his mouth.

Jay took a moment to finish his own meal before he pushed the tray aside and refocused his attention of Heero. "Since we're talking I think I'd like to know more about you," he considered his next question and Heero began to feel a little on edge. He was never comfortable talking about himself, but then this wasn't really talking was it? "You've been studying martial arts for years, have you ever competed?"

"No," he supposed against the other pilots he sort of did, but he knew that wasn't what Jay was referring to.

"Never thought about it?"

"No."

"That's too bad, you'd be an asset to any team." Jay scratched at his goatee eyes thoughtful again, "What about your interest? There has to be stuff out there that you like along with karate, so do you like reading?"

Heero slowly thought about the question, but quickly realized he didn't have an answer to it. He could read, had read many manuals and stolen briefings during the war. It had been a necessity, but did he like it? It was just a tool, a means to an end. Internally Heero shook himself. He knew that's not how Jay had meant it. Trowa was the example to follow, he had read for the knowledge and enjoyment, but it was something Heero had never really tried. So could he say yes or no to this question? In the end Heero reached for the fork again.

The sensei looked surprised, "What was that too vague?"

"No," Heero shook his head. Even if he hadn't been restricting himself to yes or no answers Heero doubted he would have explained his inability to answer.

"Well what about movies?" Jay continued appearing unfazed.

Again he paused; his fork still standing in the noodles as he slowly twisted it one way before another. He had had some experiences with them, mostly with Relena, though Ash had sat him down with more than one. But was that enough to say he had liked them or didn't? He had found them strange more often than not, poor acting at times, special effects that were not in the least way believable. He sighed and took another mouthful of food. He just couldn't say one way or the other.

"How can you not know?" he leaned forward on the table staring intently at Heero's face, as though trying to see inside to his thinking. "Have you not watched that many?" he asked clearly expecting another yes or no answer.

Shaking his head Heero replied, "No."

"You really are an odd breed. Do you know that?" Jay chuckled.

"Yes." he doubted Jay had been expecting an answer, and the way he burst out laughing that only confirmed it.

They lapsed into silence for a little while, Heero finding himself almost wanting to eat a little more without a questions asked, but he stopped himself. "I think I already know the answer," Jay began looking a little hesitant, "Do you like music?"

He didn't even have to think about that one before he was eating more of his meal.

"Rock?

"Alternative?

"Country?"

"Classical?"

Jay fired off each category, though Heero didn't think he expected an answer, perhaps he just had to try and see if his original question was simply too broad. Heero took the opportunity to nearly finish his meal, being unable to answer any of them. Jay threw up his hands in defeat, "I just don't know what to say…" the silence returned before the sensei suddenly brightened, "I know at least one thing you must like, spending time with your girlfriend right?"

Something he hadn't been able to do as much as he wanted, but without thought it was a definite "Yes." It still surprised him that he would want to be with her, that this attachment had formed. He felt the ache acutely then and wanted to find a way to push it aside. Jay's eyes sparkled and Heero knew more questions would come, but the interest had left him, and he scraped up the last of food before looking up at Jay. "Game over."

Jay sighed, "Too bad," his finger pointed firmly at Heero, "You were having fun!"

Thanks for Reading!

**A Deeply Hidden Fear**:

Wufei was pulled from sleep by the ringing of his phone reaching out for it with a growl he turned it on and brought it to his ear, "This had better be good," he greeted whoever was on the other side. No one he knew of had the nerve to call him at five after three in the morning.

"Did you know he had been tortured?" a low voice asked after a moment of silence.

_Jay?_ Wufei's mind processed the voice quickly, and he repressed a sigh, _How does he keep doing this?_ Jay's instincts were a little too good Wufei was realising. "Yes I knew," he answered finally pushing himself up to a sitting position while pulling a hand through his loose black hair.

"This happened recently," Jay continued and Wufei could hear his tightly reined emotions, "While he was in your protection?" it was an accusation.

"Jay tell me what happened?"

"You tell me why he's still on the streets!" Jay fired back.

"Because that's where he chose to be," Wufei countered with a sigh.

"Well obviously he'd not acting in his best interest," he was keeping his voice low, clearly concerned about alerting Heero, but Wufei could tell it was an effort for him to do so.

The former pilot shifted on the bed drawing his legs up to him beneath the blankets, "He's not a child Jay--"

"What difference does that make!" Jay cut through, "He needs help, did you ever try to give him any?"

"Of course we did!" Wufei growled angrily into the phone, but dialled himself back quickly not wanting to take his anger out on Jay. "Of course we did, but there's only so much you can do when he won't accept help."

"I don't like it," Jay said bitterly, "He deserves better than this."

"He does, and you're not the first to try and help him, but now you know how far the others got," Wufei could understand how frustrating it would be to try and help someone who didn't want it. But he also understood Heero, neither of them wanted to give of themselves, not from that deeply buried 'weak' side.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	60. A Deeply Hidden Fear

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: At the suggestion of neekabe and a few of my readers, I've decided to post this chapter before I get any others. I'm still planning on giving you a double chapter before long, it's just a matter of I'm not sure when the next chapter is going to be ready and I hate to make all of you wait.

A huge thank you to my editors! **Morgansgirl Pious Knight **and **Featherbird **couldn't do it without you!

**Morrighan of Crimson and Sable**: It was really the only think I could think of him getting her, and I was so tempted at some point to have Heero actually name Relena…but that always caused too many problems (laughs) as for the preview it worries you because you're a smart reader (laughs) thanks for the review!

**Mini Nicka**: Thanks for the review! I really enjoyed writing that scene, I've been looking forward to posting it for….man….it's got to be at least two years now (laughs) I think you saw how Heero gave the bear to Relena. I believe it was in the preview for chapter 61…could be wrong though. Thanks again!

**Midnight's Falling Star**: Thank you! That game was one of the most fun for me to write, I hope you enjoy this chapter, it was a difficult one to write, but another one I've been looking forward to posting. Thanks again!

**L.A.UNE**: Thank you! I enjoyed writing it, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the rest!

**Raizard333**: Thank you, Heero has so few of those in his life (laughs) it's true what Jay say, he doesn't get to have near enough fun.

**Kreizuch**: Thanks for the review. I'm glad you finally got your prize. Every now and again it's nice to have a relaxing chapter…..I'm not so sure this one will feel the same way….I apologise in advance (smiles). I feel honoured that Mistaken Words is about all the English you're dealing with this summer (smiles) makes me feel special! Thanks again, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**IchikoKitsuneKoumori**: Thank you very much! (laughs) it was a lot of fun to write!

**D3**: (laughs) thanks for the review! As hard as it can be to write Heero relaxing, this scene wasn't a huge challenge. Thanks again!

**jellybean-kitty**: Thank you! Although I don't actually write Christmas in this story there is a nice scene with them coming up, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gundam Wing, and make no money from this.

**A Deeply Hidden Fear**

Heero drew in a deep breath, sweat dripping down his face from the hardcore warm-up Jay had just put them through. He felt one hundred percent better than he had on the weekend. He had started feeling better by Sunday but noticed a marked difference on Monday; he had an appetite again. His head still hurt behind his right eye but it wasn't nearly so bad, just back to what it had been. He continued to push himself despite what Jay had said Saturday night. It was now the middle of the week and he wasn't going to stop for anything. No matter how long it took or what got in the way he did have a goal, one he wasn't going to let himself forget. He was pushing himself to be ready to take on the Inner Circle.

"Alright, get a drink if you need it," Jay called out, and instantly conversation broke out among the students. It amazed Heero at times what all these people had to say. There seemed no end to it. He thought his silence seemed odd to them, their conversations sounded hollow when they were talking around him, it made them uncomfortable.

Within a few minutes they were all back on the mat and Jay was drawing everyone's attention back to him. "You've all worked hard these last two days, so I think it's about time we do something fun." That sent a wave of approval through the ranks. "It's been a long time since we've worked on takedowns and holds, so pair up!"

Heero did a head count, quickly seeing that there was an even number of students present. Alan moved towards him smiling. He was the only one who didn't seem really nervous around him. Or maybe to phrase it better, wasn't so intimidated by his silence. Once everyone was set up Jay began explaining how it was going to work. It was all familiar to him, and he was comfortable enough with most of them to react without thinking. Not that he was going to let that happen again. His head was clear as he turned to face Alan, and slowly he made his move to attack, allowing the taller man to take control of him and bring him to the ground.

His body was pinned moments later. Pressure and pain in his arm kept him routed in place while Alan's knee was planted firmly on his side. It was only for a few seconds but for Heero it felt eternally longer. Held down as he was, the former pilot felt panic spark within him. He needed to be up to be away from this, but he wasn't about to struggle against the student holding him down. As it was, he was let up seconds later. He jumped to his feet, drawing in a breath that he had been unable to until now. He tried his best to shake the feeling as Alan came at him and their roles were reversed, but it nagged at him in the back of his mind.

They were each asked to do the takedown twice more, and Heero felt the panic rise each time, his body tensing as Alan held him in place. It became an internal struggle not to fight his way free, but to keep pretending like this didn't bother him at all. His heart raced as though he had run a marathon, and soon it didn't matter how much time he had outside of the holds either, the panic was always there. That frustrated him. He wanted to fight against it. He wasn't going to let this beat him, wasn't going to give into this fear, he was stronger than that, he had to be!

WMWMWMW

Jay wandered through the class watching his student's work on the takedown he had shown them a few months back. They all looked fairly comfortable with it, their movements at times a little jerky but otherwise at the very least familiar. There was always room for improvement, but Jay didn't expect perfection in just two classes, and besides that he had two new ones that he wanted to show them. As he moved back to the head of the room, preparing to halt what they were doing, Jay's eyes looked to Odin.

Alan had pinned the smaller man to the ground, a serious expression on his face. He might not have been as intimidated by Odin as some of the others but he certainly wasn't as laid back as he was normally. Odin's face was a stony mask, a darker expression than he usually wore, and Jay thought—though he was sure he had to be wrong—that he saw panic in the smaller man's eyes. Indeed it looked to him as though Odin was tightly controlling himself, his body rigid while still appearing normal. Jay felt a spark of fear hit him then. What if Odin lost control? Would he lash out at Alan?

"That's great!" Jay complemented the entire class, watching without making it too obvious as Alan let Odin back to his feet. The young man didn't relax right away, his expression still dark with his fist tightly clenched. "I have two more that I'd like to teach you if we have time today." He pointed a hand at Odin, drawing him up to the front of the class. "They're a little more complicated than the one we just did." He explained as he waited for his reluctant guest to join him. Jay wanted to know if what he was seeing was actually what he thought. He also thought it was safer if he were working with Odin. Yes, he had been caught off guard that other day, but he had more experience than any of his other students, and if Odin were to react he might be able to handle it, at least long enough for the young man to remember himself.

Jay tried to glance into Odin's eyes as he explained to the class what he was about to do, but as he had done on the day when Jay had touched the brand, Odin avoided his eyes. That right there told him he had not been seeing things. Subtly making sure he had Odin's attention Jay demonstrated the take down pressing Odin securely to the floor while keeping a firm hold of his wrist and the back of his neck. Jay's knee rested securely on a pressure point on the back of Odin's arm. He felt the young man tense once he was pinned and he thought Odin stopped breathing, perhaps not trusting himself to keep it normal. Jay loosened his hold a little, enough that Odin was still down but only in appearances. That didn't appear to help.

Letting Odin up, Jay watched for a brief moment as most of the class got to work. Alan, without a partner for the moment, moved towards one of the lower belts and corrected an error he had noticed. Jay ceased the opportunity, "You alright with this?" he asked softly, and watched as Odin's head jerked towards him. Surprise flashed in those eyes for only a fraction of a second before being replaced by a harsh glare. He honestly hadn't expected anyone to notice? Seemed hard to believe, Jay thought, but he wasn't going to press the issue now. He'd just keep a careful eye on Odin.

WMWMWMW

Heero pushed himself through kata after kata, and when he had worked through all he knew he started making them up. His body was tense and he fought against that, willing himself to relax. Class had been over for an hour, but he couldn't seem to shake the feeling of being held down, of not being in control. His body finally came to a stop. He was breathing hard as he straightened up and willed his body to relax. Jay's presence on the staircase had not gone unnoticed by Heero as he had worked, but he had forced himself to ignore the sensei and so long as Jay had remained where he was it hadn't been hard.

Jay stepped off the stairs, his expression serious and walked a little closer to where Heero stood breathing deeply. "You alright?" he asked after a moment, and Heero mutely nodded his head. He didn't want to talk, didn't want to think, just wanted to forget that he had ever been weak. "Do you want some dinner?" Jay inquired, following a step or so behind as Heero made his way to the change room.

"No." He shook his head and pushed his way out of the main room. He half expected Jay to follow him in and press what ever matter he thought was the problem, but he didn't and Heero was left alone in the silence.

WMWMWMW

Jay woke late in the night, his mind sweeping from sleep to wakefulness in a matter of seconds, which was odd for him. He was the type who usually slept all the way through the night. Jay pushed himself up on one elbow and looked over to the digital clock on his nightstand. It read 2:00 am, a very strange hour for him to wake, but then this had just been a day for strange things. Odin had seemed to pull in on himself after class, hardly saying anything. Not eating any dinner before he disappeared into his room and, Jay assumed, went to sleep. He had wanted to ask Odin what was wrong, but couldn't find the right opportunity. Whatever was bothering him seemed to be as touchy a subject as that brand had been.

A sound broke the utter silence of his apartment and Jay pushed himself up completely. Was that what had woke him originally? He slid to the edge of the bed and stood up, walking out of his dark bedroom and into the dimly lit hallway. It came again. It sounded to Jay as though Odin were hitting the wall. Coming to a stop outside his guest's door Jay knocked softly. "Odin?" he asked as he slowly opened the door. The young man lay on the bed in a tangle of sheets his, limbs rigid as he almost seemed to convulse. He stepped into the room concerned and called out to the young man again, "Odin wake up!"

Odin's face was contorted in fear as he continued to struggle against some unseen enemy. Jay hesitated to reach out and touch him. He had promised to make sure he had Odin's attention from now on, but what could he do if Odin wouldn't wake? His guest's arm shot out, cracking off the nightstand painfully sending a lamp crashing to the carpet. Jay made a decision in that moment. "Wake up Odin!" he said loudly and took hold of Odin's wrist trying to keep him from hurting himself.

Odin's eyes snapped open instantly, terror clouding them as he fought violently against Jay's restraining hands. The sensei was shocked by the sheer strength Odin's small body possessed, and without warning Odin forced Jay, back breaking free of his grip. "Odin!" Jay called knowing the young man wasn't seeing him, he was just reacting on instincts. His breath was forced from him as Odin's fist collided with his side. He did his best to block but had been caught off guard as Odin slammed him against the wall, left hand grabbing a firm hold of his neck while the other pulled back.

"Odin!" Jay shouted as the fist came towards him. Odin blinked. "It's me!" his arm jerked to an immediate stop, and terror gave way to horror before a unreadable mask over took his features.

Without a word Odin released him and backed away. He dropped down onto the edge of his bed and lowered his head, interlocking his fingers behind his neck. In under a second he had rendered himself at a severe disadvantage, leaving Jay gasping for breath. His body shook as he swallowed hard and tried to think of what to do next. Slowly he reached for the wooden chair that had been knocked aside when Odin forced him back, and he sat down upon it, eyes watching, mind feeling completely blank.

They remained in that tense silence for several long moments as Jay tried to think of something to say. It had been no secret to him that something had been bothering Odin. It had seemed like the young man hadn't wanted to admit it, but there was no denying it now. Perhaps now he'd talk a little about it, give Jay some small idea what was bothering him so much. "This was brought on by class?" he asked finally, keeping his voice low, calm, feeling very much as though he were talking to a wild animal, cornered and frightened, not sure what it would do.

For his part Odin didn't react to either confirm or deny Jay's statement, but then he didn't have too. Jay knew it had, nothing else had happened in the day to warrant this. "Are you claustrophobic?" it was the first thought that had occurred to him earlier in the day. Odin slowly shook his head, not looking up. As he sat now Jay couldn't see anything of his face, which bothered him. "No," he gave voice to Odin's answer, "But you don't like being held down…"

"Do you?"

Odin's response surprised Jay. He had not allowed himself to expect one, but it had come as a hollow question in return. "No," he answered honestly, "But it doesn't cause me to panic either."

The young man's head turned then just a little, enough for the faint light from the hall to glint off his dark eyes. Jay couldn't see what was in them, but he could certainly feel the glare being directed his way.

Jay contemplated his options for a brief moment. He didn't have many, and he certainly didn't want to walk away. Odin seemed all to ready to pretend like nothing had ever happened, and Jay had already seen once what that did. He didn't want to leave this as it was. He also trusted that now that Odin was fully awake he wasn't going to lash out again, at least not physically. "You've been restrained a lot over the years?" It was only really half a question. He remembered feeling the calluses on Odin's wrist, a clear sign that he had been tied down at some point.

Odin shook his head.

"There's no reason to deny it Odin. I know about the calluses on your wrist, and I'll bet even money you have them on your ankles too."

"So?" Odin shot back his voice clearly demanding "What of it?"

Jay felt his jaw drop, "So?" he shook his head, "How can you shrug at it like that? It's not normal, Odin, and it's clearly affected you."

He lapsed into silence again, not responding back.

But Jay was undeterred. "You were abused as a child." He made it a statement, not a question, "A lot of those scars I saw were old."

Odin responded in dry tones, "Not so uncommon, is it?"

_How can he be so distant from it? When it clearly affected him so deeply?_ Jay wondered in utter disbelief. "When it's gone this far?" he shot back just short of saying 'Yes it was uncommon!' But Odin's head came up again just that fraction of a degree his body tensing.

"Let it go," he growled, "I have."

"Bullshit!" Jay leaned forward in his seat suddenly feeling very frustrated with Odin's behavior. "It's all just an act isn't it? A soldier's nature, act all tough so you can deny it to yourself when it really starts to hurt!"

Odin seemed to pull in on himself, and Jay wished the lights were on so he could better see the young man, but he wasn't about to try turning them on. He was afraid that might shatter everything and drive Odin away, before he had a chance to make any sort of headway.

"What happened to you?" he demanded.

"Lots of things," Odin replied quietly.

He blinked in surprise, "Has anyone ever told you it's bad to hold these sorts of things in?" he asked back hoping to be surprised again and receive another answer.

He was rewarded, Odin's head came up a little again, "A few people." His tone sounded dry, humorless.

"You ought to try listening to one of them." Jay leaned forward on his chair trying his best to catch a better glimpse of Odin's face. "You remember what I said to you a few days back?"

Odin watched him in the silence but didn't reply. Whether that was because he didn't remember or had chosen to lapse back into his shell Jay didn't know.

"I said you don't always have to be fine," the sensei reminded softly, "Things hurt. We can't help it. Ignoring them only makes the pain go deeper."

Slowly Odin's head shook again, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Well that's nothing new is it?" Jay returned, lightening his tone, trying to ease the tension if possible.

"So why are you still here?" The words were a simple harsh demand.

Jay was determined not to be brought down, not to feel hurt. "I like a challenge," he quipped at first, then decided to go on. "I always wanted to see the unstoppable force meet the immovable object. I'm stubborn," he shrugged with a smile hoping Odin could see, "Take your pick."

No surprise, Odin made no selection but remained quiet, his head down once more.

Half of Jay, the more impulsive half wanted to reach out and force Odin into a sitting position so he could look him straight in the eyes, try and understand a little better what he was thinking. But the sensible half stopped him. If he wanted to keep his arms attached he knew better than to take hold of Odin without warning, or even with, in this case, "So what happened to you Odin?" he tried again, silently praying for something, "What's at the heart of all this?"

Odin slowly shook his head, "Think whatever you want," his voice was hollow, uncaring. It chilled Jay and frustrated him. He wanted to shake Odin, knock some much needed sense into him, but again knew better than to try.

"I'm trying to help you," he continued keeping his voice calm not betraying any of the frustration he was feeling, "Give me something to go on." He couldn't begin to imagine what was in Odin's past, what was haunting him, but there was no way he could miss the terror he had seen in the young man's eyes. Something was seriously bothering him, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

"I didn't ask for help!" Odin growled defensively his head coming up a little higher.

Jay sighed softly, "And can't you see where it's landed you?" he pulled his chair a fraction closer. "This isn't healthy, Odin."

It was Odin's turn to sigh. "You can't help me." He sounded so sure.

"You haven't even given me a chance!" he shot back, eyes narrowing as Odin shook his head, appearing entirely sure of himself. "I could help you!" Jay was just as sure, he didn't want to turn around and walk away just because this young man said everything was okay. Others might be put off by his cold, harsh nature, but Jay couldn't make himself forget the terror he had seen in Odin's eyes.

"Not with this." It was sure, final, and Odin actually looked up at him an emotionless mask firmly planted on his face.

Jay came to his feet. "How can you be so damn sure!" He couldn't contain his emotions any longer. It was like bashing his head against a brick wall, it wasn't getting him anywhere.

Odin's eyes narrowed as he looked up at Jay. It felt to the sensei as though something had shifted, something in Odin's demeanor. His body uncoiled and he reached for the light switch on the wall. Jay shut his eyes in response to the sudden change, opening them slowly he noticed Odin wincing as he tried to shield his eyes from the light. Without so much as a sound he took hold of the back of his shirt collar and began pulling the material over his head. Jay remained totally motionless, not even breathing as he waited to see what Odin would do.

"I was tortured," he said bluntly, eyes staring daggers into Jay's skull as his free hand gestured to the new scars that tore down his chest and abdomen. "How the hell could you help with that?"

Jay fell back on his chair eyes staring at the jagged scars that had been pulled down Odin's thin body. "Tortured…" he breathed. He could honestly admit he hadn't been expecting this. His mind wanted to grind to a halt over this unexpected information, but Jay shook the daze off. He said he could help. Perhaps torture was beyond what he was expecting, but he was going to try his best. Whether Odin wanted it or not he deserved that much. "How did this happen?" It was the first logical question, and he was silently pleased that he had been able to voice it as though totally recovered from the shock that Odin had delivered.

The young man looked down at himself for a time and Jay noted a very slight tremor run through Odin's hand. Even with the lights on Jay couldn't see Odin's face. His hair shielded his eyes from view. He shifted leaning forward trying to catch a glimpse, sure that he'd see something of value. This had affected Odin fair deeper than he was willing to admit.

"Who did this to you?" he tried, concerned about opening unhealed wounds, but still positive this had to be better than trying to play like it had never happened. Odin shook his head lowering himself back to the edge of his bed. "You were _tortured_," he began stressing the word, it wasn't often used, and he wanted Odin to know that, "Do you blame yourself for what happened?" Odin's hand clenched a little tighter around the material of his shirt that he now held before him, both arms resting on his thighs.

He had struck on something there, it had only been the slightest of reactions on Odin's part but it _had_ been a reaction. That alone told Jay he was on to something, but how could this young man blame himself for something he almost definitely couldn't stop? Not knowing the circumstances Jay couldn't say anything positively. "It's not your fault Odin," he attempted and received nothing for it. "This may be a broad assumption, but I think it's pretty safe to say there was nothing you could do." The fact that the torture came up in response to Odin's being held down told Jay that they young man had probably been restrained.

"Exactly," Odin breathed his hand still clenched tightly on the shirt.

"There's no shame in that," Jay was fast to point out, unable to understand Odin's apparent self-hatred at what had been done to him.

The muscles in his shoulders bunched together, "I should have been better than him," he shook his head adamantly, "I'm supposed to be better than that!"

"Odin, you're human," Jay contended, "There's only so much a human can take."

But the young man just continued to shake his head.

_What standards has he been held too that he can't accept himself?_ Jay wondered looking at this young man. He felt he had to remind himself of Odin's age. Twenty years-old and he had been tortured, forced to live through experiences Jay couldn't begin to imagine. He had survived jaded and clearly unsure of this regular world around him. He looked closely at Odin catching sight of one cobalt eye, "You got out, obviously. You're alive. Does that count for nothing?"

Silence was his only reply, and there was nothing reflected back from Odin's one eye to say if anything that Jay had said was getting through. But the sensei wasn't about to give up yet.

"Tell me Odin, how is it that you're here now?" he leaned back in his chair folding his arms across his chest, he wanted an answer to this question.

Odin drew in a breath. "Friends came." There was a deep bitterness in his voice as he spoke those two simple words.

"You hate yourself for needing their help?" Again Odin's body tensed, but Jay didn't wait for an answer. "Had roles been reversed would you have left them to deal with it on their own?"

Odin's head came up then. Jay couldn't say he saw surprise in his guest's eyes, but maybe a dark consideration. Perhaps he was seeing this in a different light for the first time.

"Odin, look, I'm not going to even pretend to know the first thing about how to truly deal with this, but I can tell you one thing. You can't ignore it." That seemed to be Odin's method of choice. What Jay couldn't understand was why his friends let him. It was a question he intended to ask Wufei, the first chance he got.

"I don't want to talk about it." Heero stressed each word tiredly as he slowly pulled the shirt back over his head.

"Maybe not to me, but there are professionals out there trained to deal with this," Jay almost pleaded. It was a self-destructive path Odin was on, one Jay really wanted to see him leave behind. "They can help you."

"I don't want their help." He used the same tone this time looking Jay directly in the eyes. He looked old and tired, and it only made Jay want to press the issue harder. But he had to know when to retreat, and seeing how it was nearly three in the morning, he thought it had to be about now.

With a sigh he came to his feet, and stood before Odin for several minutes in the silence. Finally he sighed again, "There are people and options out there Odin, whenever you're ready." He walked over to the door and hit the light as he passed the threshold, "Try and get some sleep if you can." Jay wasn't so sure he'd be able to now, there was just too much running through his mind. He closed the door to Odin's room and remained standing there for several minutes, unable to let go of the door knob and walk back to his own room. He was seriously worried for this young man, and it bothered him that there was nothing he could do.

However there was someone he could call. Jay's eyes narrowed as he finally walked down the hall to his room. His eyes briefly glanced at the clock on his nightstand, but he didn't really care what time it was.

WMWMWMW

Wufei was pulled from sleep by the ringing of his phone reaching out for it with a growl he turned it on and brought it to his ear, "This had better be good," he greeted whoever was on the other side. No one he knew had the nerve to call him at five after three in the morning.

"Did you know he had been tortured?" a low voice asked after a moment of silence.

_Jay?_ Wufei's mind processed the voice quickly, and he repressed a sigh, _How does he keep doing this?_ Jay's instincts were a little too good, Wufei was realizing. "Yes, I knew," he answered finally, pushing himself up to a sitting position while pulling a hand through his loose black hair.

"This happened recently," Jay continued and Wufei could hear his tightly reined emotions. "While he was in your protection?" It was an accusation.

"Jay, tell me, what happened?"

"You tell me why he's still on the streets!" Jay fired back.

"Because that's where he chose to be," Wufei countered with a sigh.

"Well obviously he's not acting in his best interest." He was keeping his voice low, clearly concerned about alerting Heero, but Wufei could tell it was an effort for him to do so.

The former pilot shifted on the bed drawing his legs up to him beneath the blankets, "He's not a child, Jay--"

"What difference does that make!" Jay cut through, "He needs help. Did you ever try to give him any?"

"Of course we did!" Wufei growled angrily into the phone, but dialed himself back quickly not wanting to take his anger out on Jay. "Of course we did, but there's only so much you can do when he won't accept help."

"I don't like it," Jay said bitterly. "He deserves better than this."

"He does, and you're not the first to try and help him, but now you know how far the others got." Wufei could understand how frustrating it would be to try and help someone who didn't want it. But he also understood Heero. Neither of them wanted to give of themselves, not from that deeply buried 'weak' side.

"How much longer are you going to need him Wufei?" the sensei asked darkly, "The agency isn't just going to toss him out when they're through are they? You'll make sure he gets the help he needs."

Wufei bit back his anger. Jay didn't know what was truly happening, he had only pieced together a small portion of the puzzle as he saw it. "We're going to look after him Jay." There was no way they were going to let Heero take off again and pull something like this, even if they had to chain him to a bed to keep him here. "But at this point we just don't want to scare him off."

"Who did this to him Wufei? How did it happen?" It sounded as though he had asked those questions before. No doubt Jay had, and he wasn't surprise Heero hadn't answered.

"It was a lapse in judgment," Wufei said bitterly. He was going to have to keep this vague; not wanting to get into the details of that day which would only lead to more questions, ones he couldn't answer. "As for the man torturing him, he's dead. I killed him." His voice was emotionless.

"Damnit Wufei, what sort of life are you guys living?"

"The only ones we've known." It was the only answer he could think to give. The silence stretched on for several minutes, and Wufei was positive Jay was trying to come to terms with this. He could understand how hard it would be, but there wasn't much more he could offer his friend to help him. He truly hoped Heero would choose to come back soon. Too much longer and he was bound to become aware of these phone calls. Still, what else could Jay possibly discover about Heero? Other than the fact that he was Heero Yuy. That was enough to make Wufei shudder.

Both knowing the conversation had come to an end, they rang off, but it was a long time before Wufei moved from the position he was sitting in, Jay's words running through his mind. He didn't know what had happened to bring this reaction out of Heero. But it showed Wufei that things hadn't changed since Luc's torture, not that he had expected them too. These weren't the sort of scars that could fade away in a few months, but Heero had shown almost no signs of problems since he had received the gun from Trowa. Obviously the pain was deeply hidden, and Jay simply had the misfortune of bringing it out.

It all left Wufei wondering what they could really do to help Heero when he chose to come back to them. How could they approach this subject? They were never going to turn Heero away again, but at the same time they didn't want him feeling like he had to leave them either. So Wufei knew he wasn't going to want to force the issue of the torture. In Heero's eyes he was fine. They'd have to let him remain like that. Perhaps John might have some ideas. Perhaps he might be able to get through to Heero. But Wufei wasn't about to hold his breath.

Thanks for Reading!

**Return to the Pack**:

"What, leaving without saying goodbye?" Jay asked with a hard to read expression.

"That was the plan," Heero admitted putting the case down, it was easier to just disappear he didn't have to deal with what to say.

Jay slowly shook his head as he came to his feet, "Not on my watch," he said easily coming to a stop in front of Heero, "Did you get any sleep?"

"Not much," there was no use denying it, though he doubt he looked as tired as Jay.

"So how about some breakfast?" he asked sounding a little hopeful.

Heero shrugged, he wasn't in a hurry, it didn't matter what time of the day it was when he returned though it was more likely that he'd find the pilots there in the evening. Jay took his lack of verbal 'no' as a yes and walked into the kitchen.

"So where are you going to go?" Jay inquired as he started searching for what he needed.

Taking a seat on one of the two stools Heero shrugged again, he couldn't tell Jay the truth of matters, "Its just time I moved on."

"Why? Because of what happened last night?" it sounded to Heero as though Jay were already positive that was the reason, and thought it was ridiculous.

"That's the second time I've almost killed you," Heero pointed out resting one elbow on the counter before dropping his head onto his upturned palm.

"I never said I wanted you to leave," Jay countered, "Besides where are you going to go?" he wasn't going to let this drop.

What could he say that wouldn't be saying too much? Or would it be best to just walk out without giving Jay anything? He surprised himself by discarding the second thought almost instantly, and settled on something else, "Back to where I'm needed." It was a truthful answer although a little vague.

"So what? Does that mean you're moving back to the colonies?" Jay asked his voice sounding oddly pointed as though reminding Heero of the story he had told Jay the day the met.

Heero shook his head, "No I still have business here," true enough and still vague, all around a safe answer.

"Where are you going to stay?" Jay asked then placing some bacon into a frying pan his head turning a little so he could regard Heero through the edge of his glasses.

"I have a place…" slipping back into the agency would be interesting, he wondered what sort of reaction he'd be met with from the pilots, Sally was someone he definitely felt would be better to avoid for a little while.

"You didn't when you walked in here over a week ago," Jay pointed out an eyebrow raised as he continued with preparing breakfast.

Heero repressed a sigh, now really beginning to wish he had managed to slip out unnoticed. Briefly he debated his answer, what did he really want to say? He hadn't given Jay all that much information about himself the day he walked in, "I needed a break." Still he was finding it easy enough to give answers that would serve his purpose.

"Why all the lies?" Jay was determinedly probing.

"Easier that way?" Heero returned shrugging the matter aside.

Jay stopped what he was doing turning around to fully face Heero, a disbelieving look firmly etched on his face. "You're trying to tell me, it's easier to tell me vague lies that only cause more questions, than the truth?"

The former pilot kept his expression perfectly blank, "Oddly enough yes…"

Morganeth Taren'drel


	61. Return to the Pack

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Alright its finally time for the double chapter that I promised! I'm actually rather pleased that it ended up being these two chapters, I hope you all enjoy. And thank you for being so patient with me!

This double chapter is brought to you in part by **morgansgirl Pious Knight **and **Featherbird **thank you all so much!

**Morrighan of Crimson and Sable**: thanks for the review! His stubbornness causes a lot of problem, but sometimes I find a way around it. (smiles) I did that recently feels kind of good. I hope you enjoy the double chapter!

**Midnight's Falling Star**: Sorry for the delay, but there's a double chapter that ought to make up for the wait. Thanks so much for the review, that was one of the harder chapters to write but one I had been really looking forward to, since I had first started typing this story. Thanks again!

**Starlight-x**: Thanks for the review! It's true he's very stubborn but I've sort have been taking my cues from myself. If I'm unwilling to accept help in certain situations how would Heero react (laughs) it can actually make things rather difficult, but it seems to be keeping him real. Thanks again!

**Wufei-the-back-side-slayer**: Welcome to Canada (laughs) lived here my whole life eh? Thanks so much for the review! I loved writing those chapter, and was really looking forward to seeing how you all took them. The reactions been great so far, Jay's not done yet he ought to be making another appearance later one. Thanks again!

**Raizard333**: Thanks for the review! You certainly can't blame people for trying to help him out (smiles) he is a stubborn boy though.

**IchikoKitsuneKoumori**: Thanks for reviewing! Not so sure being open with Heero would help, although in the right situation, with the right person there….hmmm….thanks again!

**D3**: Thank you! I hope you enjoy the double chapter.

**Mikinyet**: Thanks for the review, I hope you enjoy the double chapter!

**L.A.UNE**: Sorry for the delay, thanks for reviewing!

**jellybean-kitty**: Thanks so much! Hope you like the double chapter!

**devilblondie**: Believe me you're not the only one, that little comment just sort of hit me while I was typing the scene and I just had to leave it un there. I'm amazed so many people have come into this story as long as it is (laughs) I'm usually put off by the long ones. It seems I lack the attention span to read them….not write them (laughs) Thanks for the review. Sorry it took so long to get this double chapter out, but here it is! Enjoy!

**Mini Nicka**: Thanks so much! All questions shall be answered (laughs) thanks again for the review!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing

**Return to the Pack**

Heero stepped from the bathroom, his eyes glancing both ways down the hall before he crossed over to his room. It wasn't that he was concerned, but even hours later he still felt on edge. He hadn't been able to sleep after Jay left; his body was way too tense. He knew the minute he closed his eyes and tried to sleep he'd see nothing but nightmares. So he had remained awake and tried to keep his thoughts on a safe road, which was hard since just about everything could lead to something he'd rather not think about. He didn't want to think about the torture; maybe later when all this was set straight he might give it some thought. But he didn't like to think that something like torture would affect him, he didn't want to be reminded of a weakness. With time he'd be able to separate himself from it. He had already accomplished it once; this time would be no different.

Fighting to keep this thoughts from what had happened Heero found himself slipping to thoughts of the others and inevitably Relena. Those thoughts were just as hard to deal with, as they brought with them an all new type of pain. So he worked to just think about the pilots. He had made his point to them, perhaps it was time he headed back. He wasn't really comfortable with Jay right now, not after nearly killing him twice. He didn't want to risk a third. There was no assurance that Jay would be able to pull him out again. Groaning softly, Heero slowly rotated his shoulder, trying to loosen the muscles a little. The shower hadn't helped as much as he had hoped. The muscles had locked up during the night and didn't seem too eager to let go.

He already had everything packed. It hadn't taken him long to return the guest room to the order he had seen when Jay had let him in. Adding the last few articles of clothing to the metal case Heero closed it up and walked out of the room. Again his eyes glanced up and down the hall, this time searching for any sign of Jay. He wasn't all that sure if he wanted to bother with goodbyes or just disappear. He wouldn't have even thought about it a few years back. He'd have left during the night, but he had hesitated again and again until the sun was rising and he was thoroughly frustrated. Stepping out into the living room Heero came to a stop when he felt Jay's eyes on him, and turned his head to see the sensei sitting on the edge of his seat clearly waiting.

"What, leaving without saying goodbye?" Jay asked with a hard to read expression.

"That was the plan," Heero admitted putting the case down. It was easier to just disappear, he didn't have to deal with what to say.

Jay slowly shook his head as he came to his feet, "Not on my watch," he said easily coming to a stop in front of Heero. "Did you get any sleep?"

"Not much." There was no use denying it, though he doubted he looked as tired as Jay.

"So how about some breakfast?" Jay asked sounding a little hopeful.

Heero shrugged. He wasn't in a hurry. It didn't matter what time of the day it was when he returned, though it was more likely that he'd find the pilots there in the evening. Jay took his lack of verbal 'no' as a yes and walked into the kitchen.

"So where are you going to go?" Jay inquired as he started searching for what he needed.

Taking a seat on one of the two stools Heero shrugged again. He couldn't tell Jay the truth. "It's just time I moved on."

"Why? Because of what happened last night?" It sounded to Heero as though Jay was already positive that was the reason, and thought it was ridiculous.

"That's the second time I've almost killed you," Heero pointed out resting one elbow on the counter before dropping his head onto his upturned palm.

"I never said I wanted you to leave," Jay countered. "Besides, where are you going to go?" he wasn't going to let this drop.

What could he say that wouldn't be saying too much? Or would it be best to just walk out without giving Jay anything? He surprised himself by discarding the second thought almost instantly, settling on something else, "Back to where I'm needed." It was a truthful answer, although a little vague.

"So what? Does that mean you're moving back to the colonies?" Jay asked, his voice sounding oddly pointed as though reminding Heero of the story he had told Jay the day they met.

Heero shook his head, "No, I still have business here," true enough and still vague, all around a safe answer.

"Where are you going to stay?" Jay asked, placing some bacon into a frying pan his head turning a little so he could regard Heero through the edge of his glasses.

"I have a place…" slipping back into the agency would be interesting. He wondered what sort of reaction he'd be met with from the pilots. Sally was someone he definitely felt would be better to avoid for a little while.

"You didn't when you walked in here over a week ago," Jay pointed out an eyebrow raised as he continued with preparing breakfast.

Heero repressed a sigh, now really beginning to wish he had managed to slip out unnoticed. Briefly he debated his answer. What did he really want to say? He hadn't given Jay all that much information about himself the day he walked in. "I needed a break." Still he was finding it easy enough to give answers that would serve his purpose.

"Why all the lies?" Jay was determinedly probing.

"Easier that way?" Heero returned shrugging the matter aside.

Jay stopped what he was doing turning around to fully face Heero, a disbelieving look firmly etched on his face. "You're trying to tell me, it's easier to tell me vague lies that only cause more questions, than the truth?"

The former pilot kept his expression perfectly blank, "Oddly enough, yes…"

They stared at each other for several long moments Jay's face remaining incredulous to what he was hearing, it was only the loud sizzling of the bacon that brought him out of his near trance. He sighed and looked back Heero's way. "Then you can't blame people for worrying about you."

That caused a raised eyebrow. Why should anyone be concerned about someone they didn't even know? As much as he had spoken to Jay over these days, Jay really didn't know him, and couldn't possibly begin to think he did until he knew the name Heero Yuy. Jay's comment reminded Heero of the conversation they had had Friday night. Despite what Jay had said to him Heero still had a hard time understanding why Jay should care.

"I don't really know what you've been doing Odin," Jay said finally with a sigh, his eyes focused on what he was doing. "But there's got to be a better life for you, a better place."

Heero was glad for a moment that Jay wasn't looking at him, he didn't think he had been able to mask the shock from his face. What did Jay know about the life he was leading? He tried to look at himself through Jay's eyes as difficult as that seemed. Wondering what conclusion he'd come to, "I don't mind where I am," he offered honestly.

"But is that because it's all you've ever known?" the sensei returned immediately.

Jay was using his own words against him, something he had proven very good at over the last few days. Still it was something Heero couldn't refute so he just said, "Maybe…"

Jay had finished his breakfast preparations and slid a plate in front of Heero, "Milk or orange juice?" He asked, seeming for the moment to have put aside his inquisition.

"Whichever." Heero turned his attention to the plate before him, actually finding the smell of the food to be appealing.

"Alright then, milk it is," Jay poured them each a glass and passed one to Heero before picking up his own fork.

For a few moments they ate in silence and Heero mentally counted down the seconds. He knew Jay couldn't be finished yet. He wasn't satisfied. Heero wondered if Jay had ever walked away from a conversation feeling that way. Somehow he seriously doubted it. "Well Odin," Jay finally spoke again, "Can you at least tell me why you have to leave now?"

Heero looked up at Jay with a deadpan expression swallowing the eggs he had put in his mouth before answering, "I nearly killed you for a second time?" There were other reasons of course, ones he couldn't really go into with Jay. Still, the reason he had given seemed the most logical. How many times could one man stare death in the face and not be bothered?

But Jay was determined to surprise him, "That's no reason to pick up and leave." He sounded one hundred percent serious.

The Japanese man shook his head. He had been fighting the need to go back for days. It was Relena who he really wanted to see; his need to prove himself to the other pilots had been what kept him away. But he couldn't fight it any longer, "I want to see her, haven't in over a week."

"Oooh…" Jay smiled, "You're girlfriend, that's a pretty good reason," he chuckled.

Heero pinched the bridge of his nose fighting to suppress a sigh. "So glad you approve," he responded dryly.

Jay's eyes suddenly brightened, and Heero could just feel a question coming that he wasn't going to want to answer. "Say, who is your girlfriend?" he asked brightly, and Heero only shook his head, "C'mon, you never told me on Sunday."

Leaning back and taking a moment to finish off his glass of milk Heero continued to shake his head, "You wouldn't believe me if I did."

"Not this again," Jay barked, though it sounded good natured, "You need to give straight answers, it causes less confusion." He pointed a finger, "And you may be happy to know, it causes less questions too."

"You really wouldn't," Heero assured, passing his finished meal across the counter, "And let's leave it at that."

WMWMWMW

Heero made his way through the streets and alleys of Sank carrying with him the metal case. Jay had convinced him to leave some of his things in the locker just in case he planned on taking a break again. Heero doubted it was likely that he'd have to avoid the others for this length of time again, but he didn't mind the thought of dropping in on one of Jay's classes every now and then. He was seriously surprised at the amount of time it had actually taken for him to leave Jay's home. It was close to two in the afternoon, and he was only now entering into the area of the city where Relena's house was. He traveled as many other people did, with the hood of his coat up and his stride brisk. It was a particularly cold day, though Heero wasn't bothered by it. After space and Antarctica nothing really felt quite as cold.

Rounding a corner that took him out of a narrow alley and back onto the main street Heero turned to his right, his cobalt eyes landed on his destination. Relena's massive brick mansion crowned the head of the street. He stared at it for several long moments wondering at what approach he should take. He couldn't very well walk up to the front door. Even if he hadn't been dead that would have been his last choice for entrance. Being winter, scaling a wall and slipping through the garden didn't seem advisable either. Still he was far from out of options. As the pilots had designed a secret escape from Relena's cabin, they had also done something similar here.

His eyes scanned the old looking buildings that lined the street, during his months of recovery when he had spent a great deal of time searching through the computer systems hunting for information. He had discovered the codes had all been changed, though they couldn't well change the secret entrance. Heero's eyes landed on the familiar building and he made his way towards it, his eyes taking note of the people who moved about the street. No surprise; there was a slightly higher volume here than there had been a few streets down. This was of course the home of Relena Peacecraft. It had always been a tourist attraction, though a little less now in the off season.

He calmly walked into another back alley and threw his hood back, taking off his sunglasses. Even in the shadowed alley he found the light to be painfully bright, but he knew the door would be easier to find this way. Within minutes Heero spotted the door disguised as just another part of the wall. The keypad was hidden in much the same way, but Heero was able to find it without effort. Dredging up the code from his memory Heero punched it in and waited briefly for the door to respond and slide open. What lay beyond was a dimly lit staircase leading below the street, Heero stepped down and let the door close behind him shutting out the last of the sunshine.

Hefting the metal case in his hand Heero descended the stairs, coming out in a stark hallway, which lead beneath the house right to a second basement under Relena's house. Once designed and constructed it had been left to the pilots to maintain, so Heero was confident in the fact that no one else would be around. It only took him five minutes to make it to the small safe room beneath Relena's house. It was fully stocked with both food and weaponry. Heero could remember the argument they had had over that. Relena had wanted no part of it, but Heero had just chosen to put them there anyway. Putting the case down in one corner Heero removed one item from it and strode towards the door that would take him into Relena's basement.

He wasn't at all sure what Relena's schedule was like for today. He doubted she'd be home at the moment, but hopefully would return for at least a short time. He knew she kept a computer in her room and he was positive he could track down her schedule with that. Making his way up into her house, Heero found himself looking more closely at all the little details despite himself , becoming a little distracted with the sudden realization that it had been four years since he had set foot in this house. He had never cared much for it, had never much loved any house. They were just a roof, a shelter. It was the person living within that made it something different.

Relena had never employed a huge staff to tend her house, and so Heero had little trouble slipping into her bedroom, his presence going entirely unnoticed. Closing the door behind him Heero took a moment to look around. This had been a room he and Relena had shared many private moments in, as she had slowly worked to pull him out of the shell he was so comfortable with. Nothing had changed over the time he had been gone. Relena's large king size bed stood opposite the door with a set of bay windows behind it. Just as he remembered it. Heero crossed the room to the bed and placed his small gift among the many pillows.

WMWMWMW

Relena smiled, accepting Trowa's offered hand as she climbed from his limo, "Thank you," she released his hand and walked towards the front door of her house. It had been a long day so far, and wasn't over yet. Relena suppressed a sigh. At least the worst was over. Her last meeting was with Une and her brother for which she was grateful; with them she could relax and act a little tired for once. But that meeting wasn't for an hour, so Relena had decided to come back home and change into something as little less restricting. Besides that, her feet were killing her.

Wufei held the solid oak door open for her as they all entered the house, and she offered him a smile as she walked past kicking off her heels as she did. "I don't know why I keep wearing these," she grumbled to herself as she picked them up off the tiled floor.

"Pain is just--"

"Weakness leaving the body," Relena finished for the Chinese man and laughed. "Honestly, though, I dare you to try them for a day."

Wufei leveled her with an unimpressed look, not deigning to offer a reply to that.

Which Relena took as a reply all on it's own, a knowing smile touching her lips. "I didn't think so." Stepping past the two of them Relena made her way deeper into the house, she smiled and greeted her maids as she passed them always wanting them to feel appreciated. A sigh escaped her lips as she opened the door to her room and stepped inside safely closing it behind her, this was her private sanctuary. Almost immediately she noticed something had changed about the room. Her brow drew together in confusion as she walked towards her bed, a puzzled smile touching at the edges of her lips.

"You weren't here when I left," she said to the small teddy bear sitting among the pillows.

"Neither was I," a masculine voice spoke up from behind.

Relena would have screamed in shock had she not recognized the voice immediately, and the familiar wild scent. Spinning, Relena threw her arms around the only man she had ever loved and felt him do the same, his strong arms slowly closing her in. She had never felt safer in her life being completely surrounded by Heero. "I missed you," she breathed into his neck hugging him a little tighter before pulling back to look at his face.

"I'm sorry," he breathed softly before closing the little space between them, his mouth covering hers starting a slow kiss. Relena could feel Heero's tightly held need as his body pressed against hers holding her tight, and she was more than willing to respond opening herself up to him having missed him more than he could ever know.

WMWMWMW

Heero felt Relena respond to that deep burning need, and felt the world fall away as that burning ache in his chest slowly abated. The need he had for her was still something Heero found himself fighting against. He was too well trained to become reliant on something like love. But at the same time nothing in his life had ever felt more right. The void of combat might not have been filled, but another just as raw had begun to close over the moment he had truly come to know the woman he held in his arms. Pulling back finally Heero rested his forehead against Relena's his breaths coming a little winded.

He could feel her smile against his shoulder as she hugged him tighter shifting her head to the crook of his neck. A subtle chill ran down his spine as Relena's hand slipped up under the hem of his coat and shirt to lightly trace along the small of his back. He breathed in the scent of her hair and allowed himself a short moment to savour having her so close. A part of him still fought against these moments, wanting to remain independent of them, but he knew he wasn't about to pull back from her, not so long as she wanted him near.

"Where have you been?" she asked finally her head not leaving his shoulder.

"Does that really matter?" he deflected, not wanting to worry about that now, not able to see the importance of it. He was here now, wasn't that enough?

Relena lifted her head then looking at him a little surprised. "Of course it does," she pulled back from him, her eyes glancing over him as she did. "I was worried about you." His brow drew down a little at that. He knew in the back of his mind that Relena couldn't possibly think him helpless, but he couldn't make the rest of his brain believe that. "Heero, I love you. No matter what you want I'm going to end up worrying about you," she explained, a smile on her face as though she perfectly understood his confusion.

Heero felt his lips twitch up a little at that. She knew him and it was clear no matter how he had tried to hide himself, she still managed to find her way in. "Do you have to get ready?" he asked then, attempting to change the subject.

"I still have some time," Relena smiled as she stepped away from him shrugging off her business coat and laid it across the end of her bed. She glanced back over her shoulder at him. "Why don't you take off your coat and pretend like you're going to stay for a while."

"I'm coming back today," Heero explained slowly sliding the heavy coat off, his left shoulder keeping his movements careful on his right side. The muscles in his shoulder had locked up tighter since the morning and it was going to take some work to get them to loosen up again.

The smile on Relena's face upon hearing of his return faded as she watched him, her eyes very intent. "Are you alright?" She crossed the room back to his side her hands going immediately for his right side. "What happened to your arm?"

He had to have expected her to notice, but still he had wished she wouldn't have. It was only going to bring up a lot of questions he'd rather not answer if he could avoid it. "The muscles are just a little stiff." It really wasn't anything to be concerned about, nothing a few days wouldn't solve.

Relena took his coat from his hand and draped it over a chair as she led him with her other hand towards the padded bench at the end of her bed. "How'd it happen?" She was as full of questions as Jay had been, and Heero wasn't at all surprised that he enjoyed them more from her than Jay, though he'd still prefer to avoid them altogether. She made to push him down to sit, and although Heero was capable of fighting against her, he complied enjoying this private moment with her.

Heero twisted to look at Relena as she shifted to the bed behind him, her small hands finding a place on his stiff shoulder. He hesitated to give her a straight answer simply because he would have preferred to forget that he had been away. He just wanted to get on with things now. But he could see a light in Relena's eyes as she continued to wait for his response that said she wasn't going to take any vague half answers. "I spent some time at a dojo. I had to pull a punch the day before," His tone shrugged the matter aside.

"Must have been a fast punch," Relena commented rather pointedly slipping her warm hands into his shirt. For a moment she began to massage the knotted muscles, but she stopped suddenly and leaned around him, her straight blond hair sweeping off her back to create a curtain. "Why don't you take off your shirt, so I can massage your shoulder properly."

"This isn't necessary," he told her, finding her lips so close to his own to be irresistible and stealing a quick kiss brought a smile to Relena's face.

"I know that, but it's something I want to do." She stole a kiss of her own, "So off with your shirt."

That caused Heero to hesitate. He could feel the brand suddenly upon his back, though he told himself it was nothing more than a crazy weakness. His impromptu conversation with Jay did little to ease his discomfort over having been branded against his will. He seriously doubted that there was anything anyone could say or do that would bring him to accept this mark. Relena appeared to become impatient with his lack of movement and reached across him beginning to unbutton the shirt. That snapped Heero out of his daze and he reached for her hands to stop her.

She pouted at him but clearly wasn't ready to back down just yet. "I'm just trying to help you." Relena worked at slipping her hands out of his so she could try again.

"It's alright, really."

"You'd say that if you're arm was hanging by a thread," Relena countered, kissing his cheek. Heero just shook his head, not about to agree or deny what she had said. "I saw how stiffly you were moving it, so let me help you."

It wasn't exactly a plea, or a demand. This was just something Relena was determined to do for him. He remained motionless for a moment longer before his hands began to move on their own, undoing the last of the buttons so he could slide the shirt off his shoulder. As soon as his shoulder had been exposed Relena kissed him again and pulled back her warm hands settling on his skin. Within seconds she was massaging deeply, searching out the knots and slowly working them out. He remained still as she worked, enjoying the moment when the knot finally released and the ache abated a little more.

"Do the others know you're coming back today?" she asked, the majority of her attention on the task at hand.

"No," he gave his head a brief shake, "And I don't want them to, not yet at least." After the exit he had made, Heero knew he wanted to return on his terms. He had made his point; whether they accepted it or not remained to be seen. But before the end of the day Heero was determined to find out.

"So you won't be coming back to the agency with me?"

"I'll make my own way back," he assured, glancing back over his shoulder.

Relena leaned down and kissed him before asking, "How does your shoulder feel now?" He shifted it, noticing a significant difference from when she had started. He hadn't even had a chance to say anything when Relena's arms wrapped around his neck in a light hug. "See, I told you it would help. Now for your neck."

He looked back at her again, a little confused. "My neck's fine."

"So? It feels good doesn't it?" She turned his head forwards. "Isn't that reason enough?"

Heero mentally shrugged and let Relena do as she pleased if it made her happy. Glancing about the room Heero winced at the bright sunshine that spilled into the room, the ache behind his eye flaring up viciously. He shut his eyes waiting for it to fade, wondering why the sensitivity came and went at such random times. Heero felt his shoulders relax in response to Relena's massaging hands, slowly slumping forward as he really began to relax into this. He felt sure that Relena was smiling behind him as she began to hum softly to herself.

He felt like dropping his elbows down onto his knees and just sinking into it. "Feels good, doesn't it?" Relena whispered into his ear, both thumbs working at the base of his neck. He didn't verbally respond to that but opened his eyes and noticed an immediate lack of pain, which surprised him.

Straightening into Relena's hands he felt the need to test this new found relief. His eyes sought out the sunshine that had only minutes before sent pain through his head. His cobalt eyes looked at the window from which the sunlight spilled, "Hn…" he grunted, still shocked.

"What is it?" Relena inquired shifting to kneel beside him.

Heero tentatively brought a hand up to his neck slowly moving his head one way and then another, checking to see if the pain would suddenly return. "Pain's gone…" he mumbled more to himself than Relena.

He could feel her eyes watching him curiously. "I thought you said your neck was fine."

"It was," he assured, lowering his hand and turning to face her. He didn't want to cause her to worry, but could see immediately that he was a little too late for that.

Her hand reached up to brush his bangs from his face as she moved a little closer. "What pain, Heero?"

"Just a headache," he said nonchalantly, leaning in to kiss and her hopefully divert the conversation.

Relena appeared more than willing to play along, her hands slipping inside his still open shirt. He pulled her too him so she was seated in his lap, both arms holding her securely in place. When their lips finally parted, their heads remained close together. Relena seemed content to rest against him, one hand lightly tracing along his ribs while the other fiddled absently with a button. Heero was almost ready to breathe a sigh of relief. "How long have you had these headaches?"

His eyes shut, and he fought to repress a sigh. _What makes her think I've had 'Them'?_ he silently wondered, quickly trying to decide if he could pretend it had only been for a few hours. The last thing he wanted was her worrying over him because of this. It wasn't like they were a big deal. He hardly even noticed them most times. "Why are you worried about a headache?" he deflected finally.

"Because," she stated looking up at him, "You've never mentioned having one before."

That might have been true, but it was still no reason to jump to any conclusions. "There's always a first time," he shrugged.

Relena's eyes took on a suspicious light as she pulled back in his arms to look at his face directly. "Not for you. You've been having problems before now, haven't you?"

He felt like demanding 'Why not?' but knew he probably wouldn't have liked the answer. "What makes you think that?" he asked instead.

"I know I sound really suspicious," Relena admitted with the slightest blush touching her cheeks. "But honestly," her tone was pointed, "Would you tell me if there was a problem?"

They stared at each other for several moments, Heero considering her question and knowing that each passing second was only confirming Relena's suspicions. He wasn't likely to mention anything if he could avoid it. He didn't like having people worry over him, not even someone he loved as much as Relena. Her expression fell a little, and Heero suddenly felt regret. He didn't want to push her away, so would he be able to make an exception for her? With an inaudible sigh Heero finally answered, "I've had them for a while."

Relena's expression was mixed at that. On the one hand she looked pleased that she had received an answer at all, but the other was concern, very obvious concern. "How long is a while?" She placed a hand on the side of his neck, blue eyes staring deeply into his own.

"Roughly?" He thought for a second. "Since I woke."

"Since you woke? What, eight months ago?" She sounded incredulous, but clearly didn't need him to answer to know that's what he had meant. "Why haven't you told anyone?"

"It's not that important." He didn't want it to become important. He was recovering, had recovered, and in time this too would pass.

"Heero, one headache isn't all that important," Relena said as though it should have been obvious, "Almost constant headaches for eight months is. Both John and Sally would tell you that."

"I'm not worried," he told her firmly.

"I am," Relena countered, pulling herself in for a kiss. "I want to know what's causing it. I don't want to risk losing you again."

It was a powerful argument but Heero wasn't ready to relent just yet. His brow drew together. "I'm not about to break." After being weak for so long Heero felt as though he had to prove himself to them once more. He wasn't about to let a headache set him back from his goal.

"I know that." She didn't sound entirely convinced to Heero's ears. "But could you at least let Sally or John know? Please?"

He was reluctant to agree, but could see the deep concern in Relena's eyes. She appeared almost on the verge of tears as she waited for his reply. "Alright," he agreed at last, and Relena threw her arms around his neck. He sighed, audibly this time, amazed at the power she had over him as his arms pulled her tightly to him. The moment was shattered when someone knocked sharply upon the door, Relena jumping in his arms, twisting to make sure no one had walked in.

"Relena are you ready?" Trowa's voice asked from through the door.

"No," she called back, "I'm sorry, I got distracted by something." Her eyes turned back to Heero and she flashed him a brilliant smile.

"You should get ready," Heero said somewhat reluctantly once he was sure Trowa had moved back to where ever he had been waiting.

"I'd rather stay here with you…" she told him coyly.

"They'd get suspicious about that." Despite the changes that had happened since his return, Heero still felt as though his relationship with Relena was far too private to be share openly just yet.

"Yeah…" her head dropped and she was clearly reluctant to get up off his lap. "But you're coming back today."

"I'll be there before you're done with your meeting," he assured, opening his arms so they could both come to their feet.

"And you will tell Sally?" she pressed again, expression becoming serious.

"Yes."

WMWMWMW

Heero stepped out of the stairwell, finally back on his floor of the agency. He was glad to see he hadn't caught one of the pilots moving from one room to another. He made his way quickly to his room, and wondered how long it would really remain 'his room'. He did actually have a room down the hall, but it hadn't been used in four years. Heero tossed his coat on the bed and put the case down before leaving the room behind. He had another destination in mind.

With Relena in a meeting with Zechs and Une, Heero knew the pilots would not be in attendance, there just wasn't any need. So it was more than likely that they had converged in the common room. Crossing the hall Heero punched in the four digit code and waited for the door to open. Three heads turned to look at him as he stepped onto the threshold. He didn't want to let the door close behind him. If this went as he planned they wouldn't be remaining in here long.

"'Bout time," Duo commented twisting in his seat.

Trowa's visible eyebrow had raised, "So it was you who distracted Relena."

Wufei didn't say a thing, but had shifted to the edge of his seat as Heero focused his attention on him. They might have all come up with the plan to go easy on him, but Wufei had been the one to fight him, it was against him that Heero was determined to prove himself. He shouldn't have had to prove himself, he realized in the back of his mind, they should have trusted his abilities. But it didn't matter. He wanted to show them now.

They shared a look. There was no doubt Wufei knew what Heero was after as he came to his feet and walked towards the door. Heero turned just before he got there and walked out into the hall, striding towards the elevator, and from there the training room, where this mess had begun. His eyes narrowed. Damnit all, they were going to do it right this time!

Thanks for Reading!

**No Hold's Barred**:

Sally backed off the mat, walking over to where John waited. She felt shaky from the confrontation. She had been looking forward to this day, but as much as she wanted to act like everything was as it used to be it wasn't entirely true. She had been pissed off when Heero chose to leave the agency, feeling he was taking unnecessary risks all because of pride. It was that emotion she had had to draw on in order to confront him as she did. But it had felt good, and she thought she had seen a look of pleasure in Heero's eyes.

"He's a stubborn boy," John commented, eyes watching the scene unfold. Sally found herself wondering what John thought of all this. He had been strangely quiet about Heero's disappearance, but Sally didn't doubt he had been worried.

Sally turned back to the room, watching as the pilots tried to surround Heero and take him down. It was a game to them, a challenge. It was odd to watch four young men who had had their childhoods stolen from them play in their own special way.

"How long are you going to let this go on?" John asked briefly glancing her way.

"He's tired and sore. I'm sure it won't go on for too long." Of course there was no way to say that definitively. They could always intervene if it went on for too long.

"I want to sit down and have a talk with that boy," the old doctor said, folding his arms and settling back.

Sally nodded mutely, wondering how that would go, but before she gave Heero over to the old doctor she wanted to take a look at him. In the middle of the room Wufei, Duo and Trowa were working together to try and corner Heero, but the smaller Japanese man wasn't cooperating. His expression was seriously determined; he wasn't going to go down easily. She felt John shift beside her and sigh impatiently. Heero was going to drag this out.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	62. No Hold's Barred

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: I hope everyone loved the last chapter!

Thanks again to **Morgansgirl** **Pious Knight** and **Featherbird!**

**Disclaimer**: Don't own Gundam Wing

**No Hold's Barred**

Duo leaned back casually against the wall, all eyes on the center of the room where Heero and Wufei had begun their fight. Hardly a word had been said since Heero had unexpectedly walked into the common room, a look of utter determination in his eyes. Duo was relieved to see his friend back and well, but part of him wanted to be in the middle of the room beating some sense into their Japanese friend. It had been a relief for all of them when Wufei announced that he knew where Heero was staying and that he was doing fine, but none of them had truly rested easy until now. Duo wondered if that knowledge would have bothered Heero. It probably would have, but there wasn't much they could do about that.

Heero looked as sure on his feet as he had twelve days ago as he and Wufei traded blows on their blocks and searched for an opening. The fight had been going for about five minutes when Duo felt Trowa shift beside him, and he glanced over. "We've given them a head start," he commented eyes not leaving the center of the room. "Do you want to call or should I?" His one visible emerald eye flickered over to Duo.

Duo chuckled dryly, reaching for his cell phone. "Let me, I have a wife and children, she can't kill me." Trowa smirked at that looking back to the fight. Dialing Sally's number, Duo brought the cell to his ear and waited for her to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Sal, just thought you might like to know he's back," Duo said in cheerful tones, wishing he could see her face in that moment.

There was an instance of silence on the other end before Sally exploded. "When? Where is he?"

Duo cast a slightly pained look Trowa's way. "Not long ago, we're down in the training room."

"Keep him there," Sally said firmly.

"Don't think you need to worry about that Sal," Duo chuckled, feeling a little sorry for Heero when Sally got there. Shutting the phone, he slipped it back into his pocket and folded his arms comfortably across his chest. "I'd give them what? Five more minutes?" he asked with a crooked smile.

"You're enjoying this far too much," Trowa commented.

"Have to find something to pass the time."

WMWMWMW

Heero sharply redirected a punch aimed for his midsection and quickly deflected a kick Wufei snapped out towards his knee. As was the case before, they were evenly matched, trading clashing blows more often than letting anything through. Within twelve days Heero had continued to recover and improve. He knew he still wasn't at his peek, but he was having no trouble keeping up with Wufei.

They had kept their street clothes on, merely kicking off their socks and shoes so as not to damage the special flooring. So far the fight was shaping up to be very much like their first, though Heero was sure he could sense a subtle difference in the way Wufei was handling himself. The Chinese man looked far more serious and determined than he had almost two weeks back. They broke apart briefly circling each other about the room. He wondered how this fight would end. Would they fight each other until exhaustion kicked in? Heero didn't intend to lose to his friend.

Wufei closed the distance between them in a flash and Heero ducked, sidestepping the oncoming attack. He caught Wufei's arm and took a firm hold of the shoulder, forcing the former pilot down into an arm bar. It was a hold Heero felt confident could hold most people but not Wufei, at least not for long. His leg shot out for Heero's unprotected side, which he fought to defend without releasing his hold. Wufei's knee glanced up over Heero's making solid contact with his side and sending white hot pain lancing through him.

Heero stumbled back from the force and inability to taking in air, his body connecting with the wall and one of the swords hung on display. His eyes narrowed as black spots swam in front of his eyes, but he wasn't about to give up yet. He wasn't going to let Wufei win after a move like that. He hardly had any time to think at all. Wufei was on top of him almost instantly, the frequency of his attacks keeping Heero to the wall. They didn't look into each others eyes, to busy focusing on watching for subtle movements, but Heero was sure Wufei was enjoying this.

He had managed to prove his point, why they had chosen to avoid striking his ribs. The pain of it nearly rendered Heero immobile. Still Heero had managed, and still was, to make his own point, as he continued to deflect Wufei's onslaught of attacks. Even in pain he wasn't giving up! The wall actually helped him, supporting his weight while he recovered. Finally managing to land a solid blow to Wufei's leg, Heero launched himself into a roll coming up back in the center of the room. His body still felt the need to hunch around his sore ribs but he fought to remain upright as Wufei came at him again.

Vaguely Heero was aware of someone walking into the room, but he kept most of his focus on Wufei as they danced about the room, fighting to create an opening. "Heero! Wufei!" a familiar feminine voice shouted seconds later. Had it not been so recognizable Heero doubted he would have paid the newcomer all that much thought, but he hadn't heard that tone in years, so it definitely caught his attention. Both he and Wufei came to a stop and turned to face a very disapproving female doctor. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" she demanded, and Heero immediately decided it was near impossible to tell what she was referring to. Whether it was the fight she had just interrupted or the fact that Heero had left and now come back. No matter, it looked to Heero as though Sally had finally remembered herself.

Heero's eyes left Sally and John who stood beside her to consider Duo and Trowa. "You made it here in record time…" he commented rather pointedly. Duo merely flashed him a toothy grin.

"Just when were you planning on contacting me," she asked, folding her arms across her chest. He noted she had a bag slung over one shoulder; it had been a while since he had seen it.

"When I was finished here," he responded calmly, eyes flickering to John who had settled back on one of the benches, his kindly old face hard to read as he watched the scene unfold.

"What the hell were you thinking, leaving like you did?" she demanded, then taking a step towards the center of the room.

"Making a point," he thought that should have been obvious by now.

She nodded unimpressed, "And is that what you're doing now? Proving a point?" She looked at him critically. "If you're point was that your ribs are still tender, mission accomplished."

Heero forced himself to straighten, eyes narrowing. He had taken the hit and had managed to come back from it, that was what mattered. He hadn't lost the fight. "I don't need to be protected," he growled. He felt sure that Wufei understood that now, and the others as well. He could look after himself. He wasn't what he had been eight months ago; he never wanted to remember that again.

"Maybe not," Sally conceded, "But your health is still my responsibility, you shouldn't have just left like that!" In the background Heero caught John nodding his head in agreement, his expression still a mystery.

"I'm fine," he countered, there was nothing for any of them to worry about. He just wished that was enough to stop them.

"You're bleeding," Sally pointed out her voice very calm, she was very much the woman he remembered her being.

Glancing down at his arm in surprise Heero saw the blood dripping off his hand to the floor. He hadn't even noticed it until now. Thinking back, Heero realized it must have happened back during the fight when he had hit the sword. He hadn't even felt it.

"Let me take a look at it," she said, sliding the bag off her shoulder. None of them really knew what all she kept in there. They did know to be wary of whatever she took out of it.

"It's just a scratch. I'll take care of it," he countered, wondering now how far he could actually push her. Would she back off if he pushed hard enough?

"Out of the question." She shook her head, her eyes determined as they focused on Heero, "You want everything back to the way it was? Then that's what you get. Now come over here and take off your shirt."

He considered her for a moment, now really interested. "No," he said, wanting to see what she'd do.

She seemed to hesitate for a moment there, and a flash of the Sally he had been dealing with for the past half year entered her eyes. But she gave her head a brief shake and looked mutely to Wufei and then to Duo and Trowa. The silent command passed between all of them, and Heero readied himself-this was about to get interesting. Three on one. He had fought odds like that before, he could do it again. Straightening up a little more Heero shifted to a better position, not about to let himself be surrounded by his friends.

WMWMWMW

Sally backed off the mat, walking over to where John waited. She felt shaky from the confrontation. She had been looking forward to this day, but as much as she wanted to act like everything was as it used to be it wasn't entirely true. She had been pissed off when Heero chose to leave the agency, feeling he was taking unnecessary risks all because of pride. It was that emotion she had had to draw on in order to confront him as she did. But it had felt good, and she thought she had seen a look of pleasure in Heero's eyes.

"He's a stubborn boy," John commented, eyes watching the scene unfold. Sally found herself wondering what John thought of all this. He had been strangely quiet about Heero's disappearance, but Sally didn't doubt he had been worried.

Sally turned back to the room, watching as the pilots tried to surround Heero and take him down. It was a game to them, a challenge. It was odd to watch four young men who had had their childhoods stolen from them play in their own special way.

"How long are you going to let this go on?" John asked briefly glancing her way.

"He's tired and sore. I'm sure it won't go on for too long." Of course there was no way to say that definitively. They could always intervene if it went on for too long.

"I want to sit down and have a talk with that boy," the old doctor said, folding his arms and settling back.

Sally nodded mutely, wondering how that would go, but before she gave Heero over to the old doctor she wanted to take a look at him. In the middle of the room Wufei, Duo and Trowa were working together to try and corner Heero, but the smaller Japanese man wasn't cooperating. His expression was seriously determined; he wasn't going to go down easily. She felt John shift beside her and sigh impatiently. Heero was going to drag this out.

WMWMWMW

It was a strenuous effort fighting off three attackers in the best of circumstances. Against three other pilots, tired as he was, it was becoming nearly impossible. Though he wasn't about to give up just yet. Giving up meant Sally would win. In the end that's probably what would happen. Knowing that however didn't mean he'd cave. B esides that he was having fun, if this fit into the definition of the word. And it was obvious the others felt the same.

With his attention almost completely focused on the task at hand, Heero wasn't really aware of what Sally and John were doing besides watching. The soft whistle of something flying towards his head caught Heero entirely off guard. Jumping back, his eyes focused on a paper airplane which John had sent sailing across the room. It caused the moment of distraction the others had been waiting for, and they lunged for him. Heero was taken to the ground and quickly pinned. Surprisingly they managed it without hurting him further.

For a moment they held him there and he could hear Duo laughing. "That was brilliant John," he praised. Heero twisted under the hands that held him, trying to see around Trowa and Wufei.

"Alright, let him up," Sally said, having come to the center of the room, and Heero was drawn to his feet between the two pilots. His cobalt eyes fell calmly on Sally as she lowered the bag she had been carrying to the ground and reached for the buttons of his shirt. "Was all this really necessary?" she asked, glancing up at him as she opened his shirt, moving to pull it off his shoulder and the arm she wanted to see too.

Heero tensed, not wanting her to remove his shirt completely and expose the brand on his back. Her movements stopped and she glanced at him. He knew his expression was dark, but if she continued he'd begin to struggle. Perhaps that was silly, maybe even childish, but he didn't want the brand exposed at all. "I'm going to take a look at this Heero, one way or another," she said, her hands still holding the white material.

"Cut the sleeve off," Heero suggested, feeling increasingly more uncomfortable held as he was, and fighting so as not to show it.

Sally considered him for a minute, her eyes studying his face before she nodded and pulled the shirt back onto his shoulder. "Shirt's ruined anyways." She then knelt over her bag and began searching through it for a pair of scissors.

"Is this necessary?" he demanded, eyes looking first at Trowa then Wufei, as they towered over him on either side, holding him immobile. Their grips were rock solid at the moment, but Heero knew if he began to struggle he'd soon find himself unable to move.

"What?" Sally asked back, "My bandaging your wound? Or them holding you in place?" She smiled, already knowing exactly what he had been referring to. "You started this when you refused to cooperate, now you get to deal with the consequences," she smiled at him as she began cutting away the sleeve.

Heero divided his attention between watching what Sally was doing and glancing at the other faces in the room. John had remained where he was across the room his expression still a mystery to Heero, which he didn't think was a good sign. The skin on his arm jumped as Sally disinfected the cut, and Heero looked back over. "This isn't so bad…" she said, more to herself as he continued to clean away the last of the blood.

"Then why are you so concerned with it?" Heero knew enough first aid that he would have been able to take care of this no problem.

"Because you up and left for twelve days, and if this bothers you it's no less than you deserve," she flashed him a quick smile as she began to apply a thick liquid band aid to the cut, "I doubt you're going to relax for a few days. This'll hold up better than gauze but you have to let it dry." Heero's muscles jumped in response to the substance but he gave no further reaction to the sting.

Duo walked around in front of him holding the paper airplane John had thrown. He laughed, bringing it up in front of Heero's face, "You should have seen the look on your face, it was priceless!"

"Glad you're enjoying yourself," Heero said dryly.

"Ah, you can't fool me," Duo laughed, "You're enjoying yourself too."

Heero slowly shook his head. Sally had finished her work and Heero twisted his arms, waiting for Trowa and Wufei to let him go. But Sally seemed to have other ideas. "Hold on a minute," she spoke to both Heero and the pilots holding him in place as she got up from putting away her supplies. Her eyes studied Heero critically as she moved aside the material of his still opened shirt. "You haven't been eating enough," she accused. Just trying to bother him, he was sure.

"I've been eating just fine," he returned, stepping back from her as much as he could, held as he was.

She shook her head, closing the distance again. "I want to know how much you weigh."

"I'm sure that could wait." She was pushing him, just as he had been pushing her. Tensing up in the pilots' hands, they finally released him and he immediately began buttoning his shirt at least enough to keep it closed.

"It can wait," she agreed, "But only until tomorrow. It's getting late and Relena's meeting ought to be finished soon." Sally lifted her bag off the floor, looking rather pointedly at Heero. "I'm sure she'll be excited to see you." She turned quite suddenly, then walked over to where John was standing and watching.

Trowa and Wufei exchanged glances but said nothing as they stepped back giving him a little room. "That was a good fight," Wufei commented folding his arms across his chest, "I just hope you realize your ribs are still a liability."

Heero's eyes narrowed. It might have been the truth but that didn't mean he wanted, or needed, it pointed out to him. "I can defend myself," he returned bluntly.

Wufei simply nodded and walked away, Trowa and Duo following shortly after. Shaking his head, Heero walked across the mat to where his shoes had been left against the wall, and sat down on the bench to pull them on. He sensed someone approach from his left and glanced up to see John standing over him. They watched each other in silence for several moments as Heero tied his shoes. He wondered what John was thinking, but he wasn't about to ask knowing John would most likely tell him shortly.

"C'mon, Sally's going to have some dinner sent up to us," John said finally, turning towards the door.

Heero got to his feet glancing down at his watch, he was feeling tired but was determined to see Relena again before he went to sleep. Walking out into the hall Heero saw that it was just John and himself, he wasn't sure where the others had gone off too. They stepped into the elevator together and Heero leaned back against the wall dipping his head, and bringing up a hand to massage at his neck. The pain behind his eye was slowly beginning to return and he looked forward to the moment when he again became used to it, it was far easier to block out then.

"You really had me worried Heero," John spoke into the silence, and Heero fought to repress a sigh.

"I can take care of myself," he said, more sharply than he had intended. But this wasn't something he wanted to be hearing from everyone. He was a soldier, fully trained and completely recovered. How long was it going to take all of them to remember that?

John's hand reached out to take his shoulder as he made to step off the elevator. "This has nothing to do with that." His tone sounded hurt, but Heero fought to ignore it. "I worry about you like I do any of my children." He released Heero's shoulder and stepped out into the hall.

It wasn't the first time John had made reference to his children when speaking to Heero, and as always it left the former pilot puzzled. Maybe that was the point all a long, confuse him to the point where he didn't fight what was being said. Heero followed behind John into his room and strode right across to take a seat in one of the armchairs, still sort of feeling the need to put himself as far from the bed as possible.

"Here," John caught his attention and handed him a warmer sweater than the ruined shirt he was wearing now. "So where were you all this time?" the old doctor asked, settling back on the couch.

Heero let out a frustrated sigh as he pulled the sweater over his head. "I should just make a recording you can pass around," he muttered darkly. It was going to be the same bloody questions from everyone. No one was just going to let the matter drop and be happy with the fact that he was back.

"This isn't a joke," John said angrily. It surprised Heero; he hadn't thought John would catch it.

"I'm not laughing," he returned calmly. It was the same as with the apologies; it got tiring dealing with the same thing over and over again.

John sat on the edge of his seat looking seriously at the former pilots face. "Heero…"

But the Japanese man cut him off, "I don't want you worrying about me."

"Do you remember Heero?" John asked with an audible sigh, "How close you came to dying?"

It was a vague time in his life. He knew he was missing long stretches of time, but Heero also knew he would definitely have preferred to forget it all if he could. "I'd rather not," he replied, finally staring off into a space of the room that didn't have John.

"Well maybe if you did, you'd understand why the others have done what they have so far," John commented, "I didn't know you before any of this so it's different for me. But from what I gather by the file Sally gave me, you were pretty untouchable during the war. You walked away from some accidents that would have, should have killed you," Heero heard him shift on his seat and he glanced over. "To now see you as you were eight months ago," John continued seriously, "That's had to have shaken them up. It's not easy to forget."

"I'm not like that now," he growled darkly. He didn't know how much further he could come from that weak dependant person he had been.

"I know that, and so do they," John placated, "But you've been pushing yourself from day one."

"Because I can handle it," Heero cut in again.

"I never said you couldn't," his tone still gentle wasn't calming for Heero anymore.

"Implied it then," he retorted. How high did he have to climb to be accepted back by them?

It was John's turn to sigh. "Heero, there's a lot in this world you have no control over, how people come to feel about you is just one of them. You can tell me and the others that you don't want us worrying about you, but that won't mean it stops." He massaged his forehead for a moment. "Take me for example, I'm a father and your doctor. Of course I'm going to be concerned about you, and for different reasons than Relena or the other pilots."

Heero could see the point John was attempting to make, knew that he was speaking through experience. Relena had loved him from the first. Perhaps it had been little more than a childish crush, but he had had no control over it. "I don't want to be held back," he breathed, trying to make his side of this a little sharper.

"They realized their mistake twelve days ago. I don't think you have to worry about that any more," John assured.

"And all the questions?" Heero fired back. That's what had started this conversation in the first place.

"Curiosity as much as concern," John conceded. "You were gone for twelve days, and I highly doubt you spent your time holed up in a hotel room."

"No…" Heero sighed, leaning back in his chair and letting his head drop back. "I spent most of my time at a dojo in town."

"Hmmm…" the old doctor mused softly but seemed content to let the matter rest. Their brief silence was broken by the soft knock on his door, "Looks like our dinner's here," John commented, getting up. Heero didn't bother to raise his head until he heard John greet the newcomer. "Good evening Relena. I see you met Sally in the halls."

"Yes she wanted me to bring this up to you," Heero's head had come up and he watched Relena walk into the room carrying a plastic bag. "I haven't eaten either so I thought I'd join you." She flashed Heero a brilliant smile as he pushed himself to his feet.

He wanted to go over there and hug her to him, but felt far more awkward that usual with John standing in the room. The old doctor was acting very nonchalant about it all, but Heero caught the way his eyes darted between the two of them. He was silently waiting to see what would happen. As though sensing his discomfort Relena moved to the coffee table and began laying out the boxes that had been in the bag, one for each of them, along with bottled water. Heero thought he caught a flash of disappointment in John's eyes at the continued distance between Relena and himself.

John slowly lowered himself back down to the couch, chuckling to himself as he did. "Look you two, you don't have to be shy on my account. I can even leave the room for a while if you like."

Heero's expression darkened and Relena's cheeks brightened with a rosy blush, "It's not that, John," she spoke up quickly, "Heero came to see me back at my house before coming here…"

"Oh I see…" John chuckled again looking at Heero was a knowing smile, which only increased the blush in Relena's face.

"I…it's nothing like that…" Relena stuttered, eyes searching Heero's face as she took a seat in the other armchair across from John.

"I know," the old doctor smiled opening the meal in front of him, "But I can't resist poking a little fun in Heero's general direction."

The former pilot took his seat with a shake of his head, accepting the dinner Relena passed too him, and quickly began eating. "I heard from Duo that you helped bring Heero down earlier," Relena commented, watching John mostly, though her eyes did flicker to Heero, "With a paper airplane?"

"Heh…" John shook his head. "It was the first thing that came to mind. I don't know how long you could have kept that up," he said, looking Heero's way. "But I wasn't willing to wait."

WMWMWMW

Relena cast one last glance Heero's way, seeing him settling back onto his bed before leaving the room. John had left them shortly after finishing his dinner, offering them a little 'alone' time, though they hadn't made much of it. Relena smiled, it had been a long day for Heero, and despite his want to deny it, she could tell he was tired. Sure, he didn't have to go to bed, he could push himself if he really wanted too. But she hadn't wanted him to do that. She was planning on coming in tomorrow to see him, so they both needed some sleep.

She looked down the hall towards Sally's room. Before she turned in for the night there was something she had to talk to both doctors about. John had mentioned he was going to see Sally when he left the room earlier. She just hoped he was still there. Walking down the hall, she poked her head first into the common room, wanting to let her bodyguards know what was happening.

"How's Heero?" Wufei asked, looking her way the minute the door opened.

"Fine, just a little tired. He was happy with how the fight went," her eyes were drawn away from Wufei as he silently nodded, when she saw something sail through the air. Duo had tossed the paper airplane John had made to distract Heero, Trowa silently picked it up and tossed it back. "You're never going to get rid of that are you?"

"Are you kidding?" Duo laughed, his fingers carefully re-creasing the edges. "I'm going to frame it!"

"Are you ready to go home?" Trowa asked, walking towards her.

"No there's still something I need to speak with Sally and John about. I shouldn't be long." She hadn't asked Heero if he had mentioned the headaches to John. The old doctor hadn't seemed concerned when she came in, perhaps they had been nothing to worry about all along. But she wanted to be sure. Besides that, she wasn't entirely convinced Heero was actually going to say anything. She wanted to trust him, but really couldn't see him saying anything to John, at least not right away.

Trowa leaned against the wall near where she stood. "Alright, we'll be waiting here for you."

"Thanks," she smiled, and backed out of the room laughing to herself as Duo threw the airplane again. Walking the short distance down the hall Relena knocked on Sally's door and waited for her to open it.

"Evening Relena," Sally greeted, eyes darting down the hall, "Where's Heero?"

"I let him get some sleep." She stepped into Sally's apartment, immediately seeing John seated in the living room with a steaming cup in his hand.

"Did you want some tea?" Sally asked, walking ahead of her.

"No, that's alright," Relena replied, taking a seat.

"So what's on your mind?" Sally asked, taking a sip of her own tea.

Relena hesitated for the briefest moment. Part of her didn't want to ask either of them and find out Heero hadn't talked to them. It felt like she was showing him she didn't trust him, but this really did worry her too much to just forget. "I was wondering if Heero had mentioned to either of you the headaches he's been having…" she glanced between the two doctors, not seeing any light of recognition in their eyes. Quite the opposite actually.

"Headaches?" Sally questioned, looking to John to see his reaction, "This is the first I've heard about them. John?"

"He hasn't mentioned anything to me…" the old doctor commented.

She sighed lowering her head, "I made him promise he would…"

"When was that?" John asked putting aside his teacup.

"This afternoon. He sort of let it slip that he's been having them for eight months." She felt guilty, but continued to tell herself she was doing the right thing.

"Since May?" Sally was incredulous. "How is it that we didn't discover this sooner?" That question was mostly directed towards John, who had been around Heero the most during the last eight months.

John shifted in his seat face a mix of concern and thoughtfulness, "He's been in a lot of pain since May, from a lot of different areas. It could be he just never really realized until now…"

"Ever willing to give the benefit of the doubt?" Sally returned, shaking her head. "I think he knew about them from the beginning, or at least I wouldn't put it past him."

"I don't know how serious they are," Relena continued quickly really beginning to wonder if she wasn't just making a mountain out of a mole hill. "I've just never heard him mention headaches before."

The old doctor reached out to take her hand. "Unexplained headaches are always something to be concerned about."

Sally nodded in agreement, leaning forward in her seat, "Did he tell you anything about them? Like if his eyes are light sensitive, or if he's nauseas?"

"No," Relena shook her head, "I don't think he ever meant for me to know. Like I said it just sort of slipped out, he would have just shrugged it off if I hadn't pressed him.

"When did the pain leave?" John asked curiously.

Relena felt a blush rise to her cheeks, and she felt certain it wouldn't have if John hadn't said the things he had earlier. "While I was massaging his neck…" she replied softly, and felt the immediate need to explain. "His shoulder was stiff from a pulled punch…and it just seemed like the logical next step…" John chuckled, squeezing her hand, a kind smile on his aged face.

"What do you think John?" Sally's expression was deep in thought. "Stress, maybe?"

But John shook his head, "It's impossible to make a diagnoses with so little information." His eyes narrowed a little. "I have half a mind to go in there right now and wake him up."

"No, let's not do that." Sally smiled a little. "I was already planning on going in to see him tomorrow anyways"

"You sound like you're actually looking forward to it." John sounded both pleased and concerned about that.

Sally's smile widened. "I am."

Relena fought the rush of guilt. What had she got Heero into? It was the right thing to do, she told herself again and again. Though she knew she wasn't about to feel better about it until Heero had forgiven her. She hoped he would quickly.

Thanks for Reading!

**Be Careful what you Wish For**:

That unfortunately wasn't to be Heero's luck, Sally took hold of his left wrist, his arm flexed but he did not pull back. Instead he looked directly at her only to see her eyes were focused on her wrist watch and not him, "I thought you looked kind of pale when I saw you on Sunday."

Now he did pull his arm away, "You were seeing things," he told her shifting down the bed to put a little distance between himself and the doctor.

"Oh was I?" she didn't sound the least bit convinced, "Well how are you feeling right now?"

"Would you even believe me if I said fine?" he asked critically.

Sally crossed her arms over her chest, "Have you ever honestly been, when you say it?" she fired right back.

"I am now."

"Oh really?" she was doubtful at best, "Your ribs aren't bothering you?"

"There isn't anything you can do about them," he wasn't going to be taking painkillers for them, it was just a matter of time to wait for the pain to fully leave.

"No headaches?" she asked then seemingly at random.

_Damn, she did tell them_ Heero thought darkly but kept his face blank, "No headaches," he confirmed.

Her eyes narrowed a fraction, "You're lying."

He almost wanted to ask her where the trust had gone, but considering he hadn't told her about the headaches he simply remained silent.

"Relena came in to see me last night," Sally began voice calm expression intense, "She's worried about you, seems you promised her you'd tell me or John about these headaches you've been having." She stepped in front of him again, "So why haven't you told me?"

Again he remained silent, there wasn't much he could say in his defence, she had given him the chance to tell her, and he had chosen not to take it.

"Nothing to say?" her eyebrows climbed in disbelief

"You seem to know it all already," he shook his head.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	63. Be Careful What you Wish For

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: It's been a long time, over a month? This hasn't been a particularly good summer for me, those of you who checked my bio or on BI read the post I left know a little of what happened. I don't like making excuses for letting the story fall to the side for so long, but let's just say writing couldn't be a high priority for me these last few months. That's hopefully changed now, and I'll be able to give you a few double chapters to make up for it. I hope you'll all stick with me despite the delays, I can't think of anything short of my dying that could actually stop me from completing this story.

I'd like to take a moment now and commit my friend neekabe to another side story she's been planning for Mistaken Words. This is a crack fic of wonder! If any of you are Final Fantasy 7 fans then I think you'll like this story….I remember the night the idea came to us. She wanted to write an FF7 fic but couldn't really think of something…and I don't know which of us suggested a cross over….but that's what happened. And in writing this I hope to commit her to finishing it as what I've read so far is just great fun!

A huge thanks to my editors you guys got the chapters to me in no time, Thanks **Morgansgirl, Pious Knight**, and **Featherbird**

**Morrighan of Crimson and Sable**: Thanks for the review! Can't remember when the airplane idea hit me but it's just so John (huggles) Thanks again

**devilblondie**: Thank you! I'm impressed you're willing to pick up a 61 chapter story (laughs) I don't have the attention span for it…but at least I do to write it. I hope you enjoy the double chapter.

**aiden rae**: Thanks so much! I hope you continue to enjoy the rest of the story.

**Mini Nicka**: You're right, Heero and Relena weren't sleeping together before he left, there not even really sleeping together now. I can't say out right that they aren't because there were a few times that she slept in his bed (laughs) I know that not what most people mean. Thanks for the review, I hope you enjoy the double chapter.

**IchikoKitsuneKoumori**: I can finally relieve your concern over Heero, it's not a head tumour, and that's not a half bad idea to have Heero watch the footage from the room, although as you said he wouldn't want to. And considering how far a head in the writing I am it'd be impossible to put something in. Thanks for the reviews.

**Midnight's Falling Star**: Thanks so much for the review! Don't worry too much about Heero….I don't think I have anything too evil planned for him….although neekabe might disagree about that. But then it's all a matter of perspective isn't it? I hope you enjoy the double chapter!

**mikinyet**: Thanks for the review, they'll find out what's behind the headaches but not until Heero can't avoid finding out any longer.

**D3**: (laughs) thanks so much for the reviews, I know Heero promised….but could you seriously see him bringing up the headaches in the situation he was in? maybe is the situation had been perfect….oh well thanks again!

**ghostreader**: Thanks for the review! The paper airplane seemed like such a John thing to do, thanks again!

**jellybean-kitty**: Thanks so much! I'll be giving you at least one more double after this one…maybe more.

**Auza-Isaka-Winner**: (laughs) thanks for the review! I really enjoyed writing the story so far, but some of the scenes with Heero had just been insanely hard to write. The problems you run into with such a strong character being in Heero's position. But thanks again I hope you enjoy the double chapter.

**L.A.Une**: Thanks for the review! I hope you like the double!

**Odinpeacecraft**: I'll always update….it just might be a question of when every now and again. But thanks for the review!

**mo**: Thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed it, hope you like this double chapter!

**theevilashleyness**: Thanks so much! I know the feeling, when I had to send my laptop in to be repaired it drove me nuts, not being able to write wherever I wanted. I'm glad you've enjoyed the chapter, and I hope you like the double too!

**ZeroYui**: Thank you very much, I'm really glad you're still enjoying it. Please enjoy this double chapter, and with luck it won't be nearly so long until the next one.

**Kreizuch**: Thanks for the review, no worries Heero doesn't blame Relena for telling Sally and John about what happened. Thanks again I hope you enjoy the double chapter.

**Talitha Koum**: Well the time has finally come, wish it could have been a bit sooner, but I actually have you to thank that this post is even out at all. After reading your reviews and hearing back from you when I sent replies I was inspired to get a little work done which got the second chapter in the double sent off to be finally edited. I hope you continue to enjoy this story. And let me thank you from the bottom of my heard for all your reviews!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing, and make no money off this little hobby of mine.

**Be Careful what you Wish For **

Heero woke early the next morning, pushing himself up into a sitting position almost immediately. He groaned softly, rotating his right shoulder. It had stiffened up again during the night, but still felt a little better than it had the day before. Stepping off his bed, Heero slowly made his way towards the bathroom, grabbing a clean change of clothes as he went. He still felt a sense of relief every time he went to do something that only a few months before he hadn't been able to do on his own. Stepping under the spray of the hot shower, Heero ducked his head under the pounding water, letting it massage the stiff muscles.

Stepping out of the shower a few minutes later Heero quickly dried and began to dress. As his hand reached for the shirt resting on the counter he stopped, eyes looking up to the fogged mirror. His eyes narrowed, he should have just been able to walk away, but his hand moved of its own accord and swiped aside the condensation leaving a streak of partially clear mirror. Heero glared daggers at his reflection turning slowly to eye the brand on his back, his fist clenched tightly. But he swallowed his rage, as painful as that was, and turned away, directing his attention to the cut on his upper left arm still protected beneath a layer of the now hardened band-aid.

He walked from the room carrying his shirt in his hand, and came to an immediate stop when he saw Sally sitting comfortably on the couch. He regarded her silently, "I knocked and when you didn't answer I just let myself in," she explained.

He glanced at the clock. "Kind of early, don't you think?"

"I told you I'd be coming, and I have to take care of you before my other scheduled patients." She stood up, her eyes studying him critically. Heero stood his ground, eyes watching her intently. He wanted to shrug into his shirt immediately but wasn't about to do that just because Sally was looking at him. "Well, shall we?" she asked, coming to her feet and gesturing for him to come over to her.

Heero slowly pulled his shirt over his head as he walked towards the front of his room where Sally had come to a stop. He saw the scale down on the floor and repressed a sigh, not at all surprised that she had brought it out as promised. Without a word or hesitation Heero stepped on it and waited the few brief seconds for it to read his weight. "Happy now?" he asked, walking over to his bed to take a seat, then reaching across to the table he pulled his laptop towards him and turned it on.

"Not yet," Sally replied after a moment, looking up from the paper she had been writing on. She leaned against the counter for a second, eyes continuing to study him, "How's your arm?"

"It was just a scratch," he replied, surprised she'd even still be concerned about it.

"Your other arm," she pointed towards his right shoulder. "It's stiff; you pulled the muscles."

Heero would have been impressed by her observant eyes, if it hadn't been for the knowledge that he had told Relena about his arm. He kept his expression blank as he watched Sally, wondering what else Relena might have told her. "It's fine," he responded finally.

"John told me you spent your time at a dojo." She didn't sound too pleased about that.

"Word travels fast," His tone was dry.

"Indeed." She stepped away from the counter and came to a stop directly in front of him, "Can I take a look at it?"

"No," he returned bluntly. It wasn't anything to be concerned about, and he was still curious to see how far Sally would allow herself to be pushed by him.

"How'd it happen?" Surprisingly she seemed willing to let it slide, at least for now.

Heero refrained from answering for a moment, not really all that comfortable with how close Sally had placed herself before him, "I nearly killed a man." He doubted this blunt answer would stop Sally from asking further questions, but it was the simple truth.

"What? How did that happen?"

"Doesn't matter," he said pointedly. It would take too much time to explain it all, besides which there was a lot he'd prefer to forget.

"I disagree with that," Sally countered, though she didn't quite seem willing to press for anything at the moment. "Did anything else happen while you were gone?"

It was a broad question, and Heero had no idea what she was searching for. He felt a little more relaxed now than he had before. The fact that Sally hadn't come out demanding about his headaches led him to believe Relena hadn't mention them. He had promised her he'd say something, but he wasn't all that eager to bring it up, knowing Sally at least—perhaps not John—would jump to conclusions and he would be dodging tests for the next few weeks. "Nothing significant, no," he answered, eyes glancing to his laptop beside him. Sally had come for what she wanted originally, maybe she'd take the hint and leave it at that.

That unfortunately wasn't to be Heero's luck. Sally took hold of his left wrist. His arm flexed but he did not pull back. Instead he looked directly at her, only to see her eyes were focused on her wristwatch and not him. "I thought you looked kind of pale when I saw you on Sunday."

Now he did pull his arm away. "You were seeing things," he told her, shifting down the bed to put a little distance between himself and the doctor.

"Oh was I?" She didn't sound the least bit convinced. "Well, how are you feeling right now?"

"Would you even believe me if I said fine?" he asked critically.

Sally crossed her arms over her chest. "Have you ever honestly been, when you say it?" she fired right back.

"I am now."

"Oh really?" She was doubtful at best, "Your ribs aren't bothering you?"

"There isn't anything you can do about them." He wasn't going to be taking painkillers for them. It was just a matter of time to wait for the pain to fully leave.

"No headaches?" she asked then, seemingly at random.

_Damn, she did tell them_ Heero thought darkly, but kept his face blank. "No headache," he confirmed.

Her eyes narrowed a fraction, "You're lying."

He almost wanted to ask her where the trust had gone, but considering he hadn't told her about the headaches he simply remained silent.

"Relena came in to see me last night," Sally began, voice calm, expression intense. "She's worried about you, seems you promised her you'd tell me or John about these headaches you've been having." She stepped in front of him again, "So why haven't you told me?"

Again he remained silent. There wasn't much he could say in his defense. She had given him a chance to tell her, and he had chosen not to take it.

"Nothing to say?" her eyebrows climbed in disbelief.

"You seem to know it all already." He shook his head.

"Not near enough," Sally countered, "You've had them since May. Has it been constant?"

Heero knew he could force his way past her if he had really wanted to, but if he did the hounding would only increase. Better to just put this aside now. "More often than not." It felt like the safest answer to give, though he wasn't entirely sure if he just became so used to them sometimes that he didn't notice them.

"Where is the pain located?" Her arms unfolded and she looked a little more relaxed.

"Behind my right eye," he replied, not moving a muscle.

"Any light sensitivity, nausea, dizziness?" she asked, stepping over to the counter and started rummaging through one of the drawers.

"Light sensitivity sometimes," he confirmed, watching her carefully.

She turned back to him holding an ophthalmoscope in her right hand. "How does your eye feel now?" She flashed the focused beam of light across her palm to make sure the instrument worked.

Heero glanced up at the lights on the ceiling, finding he could look at them with less pain than normal. "They're alright."

"Good." She reached out to take a hold of his chin, and Heero pulled back on instinct. "Heero, let me take a look at you," she chided.

"Just warn me next time," he defended, eyes narrowing a little.

"Sorry," she pointed back behind her, "I want you to look at the corner of that cupboard," and then she was leaning in looking into his eye with that bright light. Pulling back she placed the scope aside and placed both hands on his neck. "Let me know if this hurts at all." She probed at the right side of his neck, but Heero remained silent. "Hmmm¼" she mused. taking a step back.

"Satisfied?" he asked dryly.

"No," she shook her head immediately, "Not in the least." He pushed past her then, coming to his feet and putting some distance between them. "I want an MRI and a CT scan."

"Forget it," he shot back flatly. He wasn't about to let her examine every inch of him just looking for something wrong. He was back on his feet almost one hundred percent, this would pass, he wasn't going to let it drag him down.

"Heero, we have to find out what's causing this, whether you like it or not," she said firmly.

But Heero immediately shook his head. "No we don't. It's not affecting me. Hell I hardly even notice them."

"That's no excuse to ignore them!" Sally barked. her voice not sounding nearly as heated as he would have expected.

"I've complied as much as I'm going too." His tone was final as he sat down on the couch to pull on his shoes. He could feel Sally's eye boring into him but he ignored it.

Sally sighed audibly. "I'm not just going to let this go," she warned.

Heero looked at her as he got up, but didn't bother replying to that as he walked past. He was done here; he still had more training to do. Sally didn't attempt to step in his way which surprised him a little, but he supposed as much as she had started acting like her old self it must have still been difficult for her.

WMWMWMW

Sally walked out into the hall seconds after Heero had left, in time to see him disappear behind the elevator door. No doubt heading down to one of the training rooms to work out. She was actually feeling pleased with how that encounter had gone. She had been able to comfortably approach Heero, and press him for the information she had wanted. It had still been hard, but she and Heero were both playing by the same rules, cutting each other slack until they really became comfortable with where they had once stood.

She reached into her pocket for her cell phone as she slowly made her way towards the elevator. John had wanted her to call him when she had finished. "Hello?" a strong voice answered seconds later.

"Morning John," Sally greeted, "He was a little more cooperative than I had been expecting."

"Good morning." John sounded pleased, and a little relieved, "What have you learned?"

Sally shook her head smiling to herself, "Nothing really. We can cross a few things off the list I think, but without a CT scan or an MRI, I don't think we'll be able to truly pinpoint this. Unless he starts showing some other symptoms, which considering he's been dealing with this for over half a year isn't very likely."

"He refused the scans?" Though he didn't sound too surprised.

"I don't think it's just him being difficult for the sake of being difficult," she explained. She had had more than enough dealings with them to see that. But this honestly felt different to her. "I seriously don't think he wants to know what's causing them."

"Well that's unacceptable."

She knew if John had been here right now he would have marched right down to the training room and spoken with Heero. Who knows; perhaps he might even have been able to convince him. He had already proven his persuasive abilities more than once. But Sally had something else in mind. "I don't think we need to panic yet John. Whether he likes it or not he's going to have to agree to the scans sometime."

John chuckled. "You sound fairly sure of that."

"I am." She lowered her voice a little as she entered a few of the more populated hallways. "If he wants to be a part of the mission he's going to have to be cleared to fight by me." She was a little more relaxed about the idea than she had been when Une had first informed her about it. "That means a physical, and where the pilots are concerned a CT scan and MRI ought to be made mandatory."

"So you're going to leave it be for now." He didn't sound one hundred percent pleased.

"You can try talking to him if you want," Sally offered. "But if that doesn't work either, than it will happen before the mission."

"That's good to know, at least. Thanks for the call Sally. I'll be in, in a few hours."

"Alright, he may still be in the training room when you get here." They said their goodbyes just as Sally walked into her office to begin another day.

WMWMWMW

Heero hauled himself out of the small pool to sit on the edge, his muscles feeling shaky as they always did after a swim. Swimming wasn't something he chose to do with one of the other pilots around. Maybe it was stupid but he didn't want to expose the brand. He didn't want anyone looking at it. Coming to his feet Heero crossed over to the lockers and took a towel off the bench, dropping it over his shoulders.

"Sally told me she thought you'd still be down here when I arrived," John's voice spoke up from behind him, "I'll admit I had my doubts."

"She called you." Heero looked over his left shoulder at the old doctor.

"I asked her to, yes," John confirmed with a nod.

Heero turned his head away, straightening up and walking a few steps away then seating himself in front of his locker. "And you've come to make your attempt?" he asked in dry tones as he slowly began drying himself with another towel.

"I thought about it," John replied honestly after a moment of silence.

_Just thought about it?_ that surprised Heero, and he glanced over with a questioning look.

John closed the distance a little, coming to stand where he was visible in Heero's peripheral vision. "I just want you to know I think you're making the wrong choice here," John began, "in refusing the tests."

"So noted," he growled, half way to thinking leaving might be a good idea again.

"Can you at least tell me why you're being so stubborn about this?" the old doctor asked, leaning against the row of lockers. "Doesn't it concern you in the least?"

Heero shook his head, "It's been over half a year¼" After so long why should he be worried about it?

"So?" John demanded, "Does that mean it's safe to ignore?"

It was the same thing, over and over again, and he doubted it was going to end. Heero dropped his head down the ache behind his right eye increasing a fraction so it was noticeable again. He just wanted them to back off. Was that really too much to ask?

"What are you afraid of?"

Heero's head shot up at that, his eyes narrowing as he glared directly at John.

"Is that what's going on?" he asked bluntly. "You're afraid to face what this might be?" He sounded so sure that he had hit the nail on the head.

The former pilot clenched his fist. "No."

"Then what is it!" The old doctor sounded a little desperate, "Just tell me!" he pleaded.

Heero stood from his seat, reaching into his locker for the shirt he had hung up there. It wasn't true. He wasn't afraid like John said, he just didn't want to deal with them. He wanted his space, to not be treated like he was going to fall apart if someone wasn't watching over his shoulder. He continued to change, trying to focus his thoughts on that and not what John had been implying.

"I'm on your side Heero," John assured, "We all are."

"Then just let me be." He slammed the locker shut.

John came to stand right beside him but still maintained enough distance. "You know I can't do that, for a lot of reasons." Heero stepped over the bench, not sure where he could go to put an end to this conversation but he didn't want to remain here any longer. "Heero, I just wanted you to know what I thought, but I'm going to respect your decision."

He halted in his tracks looking back at John 's eyes, sharply studying the old doctor. He found it hard to believe it would all be left just at that.

The old doctor rubbed at his cheek. "Could you just let me know if they become any worse?"

It wasn't a huge request, and he had agreed to other simpler ones before. He nodded his head. It wasn't too much to ask.

WMWMWMW

Heero looked up when a soft knock broke the silence of his room. He had spent a good portion of the day training and had only stopped when John, accompanied by Trowa, had come down to him. He hadn't really wanted to come back up to his room. There wasn't much for him to do, wasn't really much for him to do anywhere. If he wasn't training he was what? Staring off into space? Not something Heero liked to do. John had sensed this and had offered the former pilot a few alternatives, none of them perfect, but at least he wasn't completely bored.

Relena stepped into the room a few seconds later, her expression an odd mix of concern, disappointment and guilt. It didn't take much for Heero to guess the cause of all of them. She crossed the room leaving the bag she had been carrying on the coffee table as she came to stand in front of the chair he had moved closer to the window. "I brought us some dinner," she began, though the words sounded a little awkward.

"Relena," Heero began, not entirely sure what he was going to say to her, after all he had promised but had never actually told anyone. Though in his defense he hadn't exactly been given the chance to say a word. Perhaps that was the source of Relena's guilt. He was saved from having to try and finish his sentence though.

"What's this?" she asked, suddenly lifting the book Heero had been working on when she came in. "The World's Hardest Math Problems?" she read off the title, looking up at him.

"John brought it in earlier," he explained. The old doctor hadn't really thought Heero would take to it, but it had been better than nothing.

"And you've done this much?" she looked up briefly surprised, her hand still flipping through the pages.

He shrugged. "I was bored."

"Would you like some dinner?" Relena placed the book aside and stepped back over to the table opening the bag she had brought in with her. She pulled a small case from it first and looked back over her shoulder at him, "I thought maybe we could also watch a movie¼if you want."

Heero wished they could just clear the air and remove that subtle awkwardness from between them, but perhaps their silence and just being close to each other would do it for them. He briefly considered the movie, and quickly nodded his head, "What did you have in mind?"

She smiled brightly. "I thought I'd let you decide, just pick a title that sounds interesting." He looked at her a bit skeptically. "Don't worry, I'll warn you if I know it's something you won't like." Relena came around the other side of the table and sat herself down right next to him so their legs were touching. She seemed to want that close proximity, and he was more than willing to oblige.

They ate in silence together and Heero thought he felt Relena relax next to him, her body coming to lean against him lightly as she finished off her meal. He watched her through the corner of his eye, noting she was nibbling thoughtfully at her lower lip, as though deep in thought, "What's on your mind?" he asked, breaking the silence and causing her to jump slightly against him.

She pulled back, a little shifting on the couch so she was facing him a little more fully. "Do you want me to massage your neck again?" she asked, finally the expression on her face flashing from guilt to concern to something that almost resembled frustration. They all made perfect sense to Heero, but he was grateful she didn't feel the need to rehash the conversations he had already had twice today. She wanted to help him, and he wasn't against letting her do so.

"Sure," he responded finally, watching as she smiled and moved to position herself behind him, warm hands lying lightly on his neck. She was no doubt as worried as John and Sally, but at least for now along with the other two she was willing to respect his space. As her fingers began their deep work, Heero couldn't help but let his eyes close as he sank into the motions, slowly the pain melting away again.

Thanks for Reading!

**A Final Moment of Peace**:

Walking inside the house, Heero could hear faint music and soft voices coming from the main room. Trowa and Wufei strode towards it without hesitation as Heero knocked the last of the snow from his shoes. "You're late," he heard a familiar voice chide his friends.

"You can blame Heero for that," Wufei commented as Heero left the door behind and saw Relena standing with the pilots.

She wore a rich blue ball gown trimmed in silver, her hair drawn up simply and held with silvery clips which sparkled with the lights. Her eyes found Heero and the small smile on her face blossomed, lighting up her features. She came over to meet him as Trowa and Wufei disappeared into the main room where Heero could hear Duo's laughter. "You didn't want to go out tonight?" she asked, a joking pout pulling down her lips.

"Never said that." He gently took hold of her hand and pulled her to him, her head automatically tipping up to receive his kiss.

"I thought it might be nice for you to be able to celebrate the end of the war…even if it's a little late." She slipped her arms beneath his and hugged him tightly. "So many parties, and this is the only one I've wanted to attend."

Heero offered her a faint smile as she looked up at him. He knew his friends were waiting inside the main room, though clearly not just waiting, as their voices still floated out. But Heero wasn't particularly in a rush to go in there. He knew that when they did he wouldn't be as comfortable expressing himself to Relena. He just felt so awkward under the watchful eyes of his friends, no matter how discreet they tried to be.

"Did you know Quatre's here?" she asked, him suddenly not releasing her hold of him but stepping back a fraction so she could better see his face.

"Trowa mentioned something about him coming down," Heero nodded, unconsciously twisting some of her hair between his fingers.

"He'll be staying until early next month. That mean's he'll be able to go to the Warehouse with you," she kissed him.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	64. A Final Moment of Peace

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: I hope everyone enjoyed the last chapter sorry it was a little shorter than usual, but here's some Heero and Relena for you all to enjoy!

Thanks to my editors!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own

**A Final Moment of Peace**

Heero stood in front of his window. It was early evening, and the snow was falling in huge slow moving flakes. It was nearing the end of December and Christmas had passed without incident for him. He had thought Relena had wanted to spend it with him, but parties and other such obligations had kept her away. He had hardly noticed the change in time as he continued to train, the sole goal in his mind to be ready to take on the Inner Circle. Could they really risk leaving them for too much longer? If they wanted to maintain the element of surprise Heero knew it was going to have to happen soon.

Plans were in the making, agents were being gathered and strategically placed for when the time finally came. Heero half expected to see Une come walking through his door asking him if he were ready. How long would she be willing to wait? He twisted where he stood when he heard someone knock on the door, actually glad for the interruption. He was incredibly bored if he wasn't training. The door slide aside and Wufei walked in followed immediately by Trowa. Both were formally dressed for a party and Trowa carried another tux in his left hand and a pair of polished black shoes in the other. The sight raised an eyebrow on Heero's face.

"Evening," Wufei greeted with a nod of his head, coming to a stop at the couch and taking a seat.

"This ought to fit you," Trowa said, laying it across the end of Heero's bed, "It was in your closet."

"Just what would I be wearing it for?" he asked, curious.

"I was told to tell you, 'It's a surprise'" Trowa responded, leaning calmly against the walls.

Heero looked between the two of them, not leaving his spot by the window. No doubt this was Relena's idea.

"Oh, it might interest you to know Une's given us unlimited access to the Warehouse," the Chinese man informed him.

"They're coordinating missions involving high class parties now?" Heero's eyebrow had remained raised since they walked into the room.

"Actually, yes," Trowa replied deadpan.

"But our use won't start until next month," Wufei explained before pointing at his still untouched suit, "If you don't start changing we're going to be late."

Heero stepped away from the window, willing to go along with this little game of Relena's. The knowledge that he was going to have access to the Warehouse was enough for him to deal with almost anything. The Warehouse was a part of agency training of new recruits and the continued teaching of their agents. It was a literal warehouse within Sank, where the agency could create missions. They could change and control just about every aspect of the scenario, making it the most realistic form of training outside of the actual field. It surprised Heero—as he began to take the tux apart so he could change into it—that he hadn't thought of the Warehouse yet.

The thought of honing his skills in missions was a great deal more appealing than the training he had been doing for the last few weeks. Besides that, it meant they thought he was ready for actual missions, and that the mission to bring down the Inner Circle was closer at hand than he had first thought.

"It's a good thing you didn't grow while you were gone," Trowa commented breaking through Heero's thoughts. The smaller man leveled a glare his friend's way and continued to dress.

"Is a little loose on him though…" Wufei directed his own comments towards Trowa completely ignoring the glares sent his way.

It was true though, but Heero doubted it would be all that noticeable. It wasn't nearly as bad as when he had first come back to earth. He sat down on the edge of his bed to pull on his shoes. "How long has she been planning this?" he asked, a little surprised it wasn't Relena herself who had come to get him.

Neither Wufei nor Trowa moved to answer his question, obviously determined to keep to their promise of keeping this a surprise, "Ready?" Wufei asked coming to the edge of his seat.

Straightening his sleeves beneath the formal black coat Heero stood up and nodded his head, "Just how are we leaving the agency?" None of them could have forgotten that he was supposed to be dead. Something told him dressed as he was they weren't going to be leaving the way he had earlier that month.

"It's the holidays," Trowa began, "Most of the staff is off."

"We've also looped the cameras. No one's going to see you," Wufei assured, motioning with one hand for Heero to go before him.

Walking out into the hall Heero strode between Trowa and Wufei over to the elevator, quietly getting on and leaning against the back wall. They road in silence, Heero knowing that there wasn't much to be said that would get a clear answer from his friends. The halls they walked through were empty and Heero felt confident that they wouldn't come across anyone. He hadn't been the least bit concerned when he had been out on the streets, but then he hadn't been standing among such familiar faces as Relena's bodyguards. Trowa led them to a small side door, which he held open as they walked out into the snow covered evening. Just outside a car waited, and Wufei made his way towards the far side.

Heero climbed in to the back of the car, and within seconds they were pulling away from the agency. Watching the streets Heero noted few people were out, but those he did see looked dressed for parties. And he remembered Ash coming to his apartment during this time of year, never so formally dressed but always off to one function or another, either with Dante or without, always attempting to get Heero to come too. They had been futile efforts nearly all the time, and here he was without a word of protest heading off to something planned without his knowledge. Immediately he knew the difference. It was Relena. He couldn't think of anything he'd ever refuse her, so long as it would bring a smile to her face.

With traffic so quiet it didn't take them more than ten minutes to pull up to Relena's house. Heero wondered briefly; if this was a party, what had Relena done with all the people usually there working tirelessly in the background. They weren't often taken note of, but if one of them should see him or over hear his name being spoken…He shook his head. There was no way any of them wouldn't have thought of that already. He had to trust in them, and so he climbed from the black car and followed his friends into Relena's house lit up with holiday lights which reflected off the new fallen snow.

Walking inside the house, Heero could hear faint music and soft voices coming from the main room. Trowa and Wufei strode towards it without hesitation as Heero knocked the last of the snow from his shoes. "You're late," he heard a familiar voice chide his friends.

"You can blame Heero for that," Wufei commented as Heero left the door behind and saw Relena standing with the pilots.

She wore a rich blue ball gown trimmed in silver, her hair drawn up simply and held with silvery clips which sparkled with the lights. Her eyes found Heero and the small smile on her face blossomed, lighting up her features. She came over to meet him as Trowa and Wufei disappeared into the main room where Heero could hear Duo's laughter. "You didn't want to go out tonight?" she asked, a joking pout pulling down her lips.

"Never said that." He gently took hold of her hand and pulled her to him, her head automatically tipping up to receive his kiss.

"I thought it might be nice for you to be able to celebrate the end of the war…even if it's a little late." She slipped her arms beneath his and hugged him tightly. "So many parties, and this is the only one I've wanted to attend."

Heero offered her a faint smile as she looked up at him. He knew his friends were waiting inside the main room, though clearly not just waiting, as their voices still floated out. But Heero wasn't particularly in a rush to go in there. He knew that when they did he wouldn't be as comfortable expressing himself to Relena. He just felt so awkward under the watchful eyes of his friends, no matter how discreet they tried to be.

"Did you know Quatre's here?" she asked, him suddenly not releasing her hold of him but stepping back a fraction so she could better see his face.

"Trowa mentioned something about him coming down," Heero nodded, unconsciously twisting some of her hair between his fingers.

"He'll be staying until early next month. That mean's he'll be able to go to the Warehouse with you," she kissed him.

Heero pulled back after a second, "Was I the last to find out about that?" he asked, an eyebrow rising slowly. He wondered when they had all come to this decision.

"Sorry," she straightened the lapels of his coat, "I'm not sure when Une decided on this and told the others. But it's good news, right? And I'll be able to watch too, since all my bodyguards have to be there." He leaned in, kissing her soundly on the mouth. She ran her fingers through his hair before parting. "How's your head?"

He wasn't surprised to be asked that question. If anything he was a little surprised it hadn't been the first thing out of her mouth. She, like John and Sally, had oddly enough been giving him some space on the matter. She often asked him how his head was, but it always seemed that her intention was just to offer a massage if he needed it. "It's alright," he replied, eyes searching out the door to the ballroom, wondering just how long they'd be able to stay out here before the others got tired of waiting.

Looking back over her shoulder a sigh escaped her lips, "I supposed we should join the party…"

Heero slipped Relena's arm beneath his, giving her a moment to gather the skirt of her dress before he stepped towards the opened doorway. Part of him didn't want to cross that threshold, didn't want to become the center of attention. Rounding the corner Heero's cobalt eyes saw the assembly in the ballroom for the first time. It was a small, pseudo-formal affair. The large room, which could easily accommodate fifty, held only eleven. His presence at this party meant everything had to be kept low key, so the tables where the chiefs usually stood preparing and serving delicacies held pre-made foods. And the small stage at the other end of the room where a live band could play held a small CD player hooked up to the speaker, a stack of CDs resting beside it.

He was grateful for the fact that everyone didn't stop what they were doing the moment he and Relena entered the room. Duo danced with his wife, his movements fluid as he spun her, a smile on his face. Trowa and Quatre stood watching and talking both with drinks in their hands. Not far away, Wufei spoke with Zechs and Une. John, Sally and Noin completed the attendees, and the only ones who turned at his entrance. This was the first time he had seen Noin since returning to the agency, and she eagerly strode towards him.

"Been a while," she greeted, sounding as though it had only been a few months and not four years.

"Noin." he nodded his head in greeting.

"Just as chatty as ever I see," she laughed, as always a friendly presence. He had spent a lot of time around her during the war. She was an open woman, he had realised quickly, and brave. He respected her for both. "We had a hell of a time convincing Relena she couldn't be the one to go get you," Noin continued to laugh as Relena blushed, "I didn't think I'd get to see you if that happened."

Relena's hand tightened subtly on his as she continued to blush. "That's not what would have happened," she defended.

Noin laughed, shaking her head. "You're so easy to tease." She laid a hand on her sister-in-law's shoulder before looking more critically at Heero, her expression sobering a little too. She took a step closer, rather pointedly looking down at him. "Good thing you didn't grow while you were gone," Noin commented, never afraid to make jabs at his height, "Else you wouldn't have had anything to wear."

Heero was a little surprised at his own reaction to that sudden jab. He wasn't bothered in the least, actually a little pleased. This was the first time Noin had seen him, and she was willing to pick up right where they had left off, no signs of guilt no awkwardness. Though he would never admit it out loud, "Hn…" was as much of a response as he was willing to give, looking Noin in eyes.

"Do you want a drink Heero?" Relena asked him suddenly.

"Sure," he nodded, taking his eyes off Noin for an instant, watching as she stepped over to the table to get them each a drink.

"So, other than a few new scars you look just the way I remember you," Noin commented, her eyes sweeping over him.

His shoulders tensed for a brief second thinking of the brand, but of course that wasn't what she had been referring too. "You were expecting changes?" he asked back.

"Maybe a little height. In heels Relena could almost be taller than you," she chuckled.

"Good thing Relena doesn't choose to wear the really high ones," Relena said laughing, as she passed Heero his drink.

"Heero!" Duo's voice broke through, "Took you long enough to get here." He came over with Hilde on his arm.

Heero took a step over to them, taking a sip of the drink Relena had brought him. Through the corner of his eye he saw Relena and Noin move off a little, talking and laughing. "When did this start?" It hadn't occurred to him before now to ask.

The braided man glanced down at his wrist watch, "'Bout an hour ago. We had to set up of course. You being dead means more work for us." "Which believe me, he didn't mind at all," Hilde cut in, hugging her husband's arm, a bright smile on her face as her eyes flickered from Duo to Heero. "It's good to see you again. Duo told me about your gift, I have to thank you! It was amazing."

"No problem…" he replied, feeling a little awkward. It seemed strange to be thanked for something so long after.

"Not just for the resort, but our son as well." She smiled suggestively Duo's way, "Speaking of, have you shown Heero pictures?"

"What sort of father would I be if I hadn't?" Duo returned with a laugh, the name father sounding strange to Heero's ears.

"A forgetful one," Heero answered for him, having no memory of Duo showing him any pictures.

"Huh…" Duo reached for his back pocket, "Could have sworn…"

"I hacked into your computer," Heero admitted, unabashed. There had been a lot of pictures there.

"Perfect," Duo beamed, "Why didn't you say something sooner?"

Heero raised an eyebrow, "Like what?"

"Maybe, 'He's cute!' or 'He looks just like you.' Hell, even just 'Duo I hacked into your computer one afternoon when I was totally bored' you know, just so I'd know?" Hilde was laughing outrageously at that, and Heero just stared.

"You must be very proud…" he said after a few moments.

"Yep!" Duo chirped, "That'll do! And yes I am!"

"Will you boys excuse me?" Hilde asked then, eyes looking off towards Relena and Noin, now talking with Sally and Une.

"Sure babe," Duo released her arm, and watched her go. "So they told you about the Warehouse," the former pilot commented, turning back towards Heero.

"Last to find out," he nodded, taking another sip of his drink, eyes scanning over the room.

"Been a while since I've been there. I'm looking forward to it," he rubbed his hands together eagerly, "Going to be a little different with just Sally running it though…" Duo stroked his jaw, rubbing his hand along the edge. "Should turn out alright."

The warehouse required many techs under normal circumstances but with pre-programmed scenarios one person could handle it. There were always variables that could be changed to make it as real as possible. "What about the Inner Circle?" Heero was curious to find out how in 'the loop' he was.

"Une wants everyone in place and ready by the end of January, early February at the very latest," Zechs supplied for Duo as he came to a stop beside them. "We don't want to alert the Inner Circle, so the largest gathering of agents won't be deployed until the mission is actually underway."

Heero drew in a breath. In less than a month he could have this mission finally put behind him. It seemed impossible to believe after so long, but he was no less eager to get back out there. "What of Dante and Ash?" he asked then.

"Dante's planning on locking down the colony. No one in or out. They also want to pull in the men from the list we compiled and see if they can't get any direct information from them." Zechs folded his arms across his chest and settled his weight back.

"I wouldn't count on anything from them…" Heero cautioned, knowing just how close-mouthed these men could be. "Wouldn't hurt to round up as many as we can, though."

"Since it's probably going to boil down to a house by house search…" Duo didn't sound the least bit pleased about that, and for good reason. That was the most dangerous situation the agents could enter into, but they all knew the Inner Circle wasn't about to simply lay down arms and surrender. They were going to have to be hunted down every last one of them.

"Do we have enough agents for this?" There were a lot of agents in the Earth Defence Corp, but not all were field ready, and they'd have to be for this.

"We'll have enough," a female voice replied, dropping in on the conversation. Une folded her arms across her chest. "But what are you doing discussing this? You're at a party; you're supposed to be having fun."

"We are," Duo quipped, "Our own special brand, wouldn't expect you to understand or appreciate."

"Right." She didn't sound convinced.

"Duo," Hilde called, coming back over, "I love this song." That was all she had to say; her husband automatically extended a hand to her and led her a few paces away.

Zechs moved off to where Noin was standing, and soon they too were dancing. Heero moved away, finishing the last of his drink before he placed it down on the table. It was then that he felt Relena's presence behind him as she reached out to take his arm, leaning herself lightly against him, "It's been a long time…" she whispered and he looked over his shoulder too see that her eyes were watching the two couples dancing. It was a quiet hint. Heero had danced with her before on many occasions, so why should he choose to hesitate now?

He didn't have an answer to that question. His cobalt eyes flickering around the room to see Trowa watching him for a brief moment before stepping over to where Une stood watching the dance floor. He offered his hand to her rather formally and quietly lead her out. A moment later Quatre did the same with Sally. With only Wufei and John watching it felt a little different for Heero, and he turned, taking Relena's hand to lead her away from the table to where they could dance. The movements felt odd to Heero. Confident, fluid, but odd.

Heero's movements stopped when the camera flash went off to his left. He turned in time to see John's hand slip out of view, a not so innocent smile on his old face. "Don't mind me," he motioned—with his left hand, his empty left hand—for them to continue dancing.

Relena laughed softly, "Don't want proof that you were here?" she asked, laying her head on his shoulder as he slowly began dancing again.

"Hn…"

She smiled at him, her hand on the back of his neck pulling his lips to hers. Though he didn't see the flash Heero was convinced he caught the click of a camera gong off. "You're not shy are you?" she joked, kissing him again.

_Shy?_ he wondered silently. "No," he replied after a second.

"No?" Her fingers played in his hair, gently massaging the nape of his neck. "Excellent," and she pulled him in for another kiss, longer this time. Deeper. They had all but stopped dancing now, Relena's attention too focused on her hands and his face to care what her feet were doing.

As the song finally came to a close Heero ended the kiss only to be met by a pout from Relena. Glancing up he saw Wufei leaning over John's shoulder, looking at the screen of the digital camera the old doctor had been attempting to hide. "Looks like you win the pot," the Chinese pilot commented, onyx eyes flickering up to Heero and Relena, "You did put in, didn't you?"

"No, but if I hand you the money now I'll willingly accept whatever was in this pot," John smiled, looking up from the camera.

"The hell?" Heero mumbled glaring darkly, hands itching to get a hold of that camera if they hadn't been holding Relena.

"Do you really want to know?" she chuckled softly, pulling him away.

"You wouldn't?" He was a little surprised by that.

Relena smiled, waving her hand dismissively. "People are always trying to take my picture. Do you have any idea what one of me can go for? And if I was caught kissing you? Believe me, John's probably not getting that much."

The pilot's eyes narrowed. "That's not the point."

"No? Well, would you be more willing to deal with it if you knew the picture was one I wanted too?" she asked sweetly.

He thought about that for a moment, cobalt eyes flickering over to where John continued to show off the picture and gain praise for his efforts. His eyes came back to rest on Relena, who was still patiently waiting for his answer. He knew he couldn't deny her anything she really wanted, but did that mean he wanted people documenting every part of his life? Especially those with Relena, not really…

"You're torn aren't you?" Relena asked as though reading his mind as she hugged him a little tighter. "I'm sure John will be happy with what he has right now, and no doubt won't feel the least bit relaxed until he has a dozen hardcopies of those hidden away where you can't find them."

Heero's eyes narrowed a fraction. "He can't develop them while I'm still dead…"

She laughed, "Please let him be," she pleaded, pouting a little as she turned him away from John and the others, "I want my copy, which a private printer can easily make."

Repressing a sigh Heero's eyes searched the room for a quiet place they could slip off too while John continued to distract the others. He didn't know how many pictures the old doctor had taken, but so long as he wasn't taking any more, Heero didn't care. Taking Relena by the hand he walked towards a small side door, not caring where it lead so long as it could block out the eyes and camera flashes that this open room held. He felt Relena's hand tighten on his as she more than willingly followed behind him. She might have been more accustomed to being the center of attention, but she had never begrudged Heero his need for privacy. Heero doubted their absence would go unnoticed, but he also didn't expect anyone to follow.

Thanks for Reading

**Are You Ready?**:

Heero pressed his back tightly to the wall glancing around the corner without exposing himself, the dimly lit hallway was empty. With his gun in front of him he rounded the corner, he and Quatre slowly closing the distance on their target. The minute his entire body was around the bend a blinding light lit up before him. Pain ignited in his head at the sudden change and Heero immediately ducked back around the corner, biting back on the pain. "Fuck!" he cursed, mentally directing the word Sally's way, he knew it had been her.

"Not a problem for you?" her voice spoke softly into his ear, "I believe that's what you said…"

He glared daggers at the nearest camera, "It's not," he hissed "Anyone would have pulled back from that." There was a slight chance that sudden light had alerted one of the pilots, he couldn't stay here for long.

"Perhaps," Sally returned "So what now?"

Heero sighed he was going to have to find another way around. His lips twitched up slightly as he moved towards one of the air ducts, if it did attract a pilot, it might just have made his job a little easier. "Quatre, what's your status?" he asked quietly.

"I'm in the northeast stairwell, what's happened?"

"Sally's been playing games," he answered pulling himself into the air duct hearing a disconcerted snort from Sally. "We're going to have to make a slight change," he pulled himself down the air duct his small former fitting easily within, he moved into a different cross section hiding himself away in case someone were to glance through the grating.

"What did you have in mind?" Quatre asked softly, he had come up wit the plan originally and if it hadn't been for Sally's games, it'd have worked too.

Heero pulled out his PDA, drawing up a schematic of the base again, "I'm just south of our target, this duct leads right into the room."

"You want to hit it from there?"

"I have to do a little rewiring first," his eyes sought out Quatre's location on the layout.

"Alright I'll pull back for now, let me know when you're ready," he was too easily cornered in the stairwell.

"Understood," Heero slipped the PDA away, knowing where he was headed. He moved back into the main part of the air duct making as little noise as possible.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	65. Are You Ready?

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: I know these chapters have been awhile in coming, and I keep promising that I'm going to do all I can to cut down on delays. Without getting in to the needless details, things haven't been going well for me these last few months. But to assure you all again I'm determined to finish this story, so no matter how long it takes I'm still working on it, I hope you can all continue to be patient with me.

A huge thanks to my editors, who all somehow manage to find time in their busy schedules to edit these chapters for me. Thanks!!

**Morrighan of Crimson and Sable**: I hope these chapters make your day as well! Thanks for the review I hope you enjoy!

**mo**: Thanks so much! After putting you through so much it's nice to give you a romance scene between Heero and Relena. I hope you enjoy these chapters.

**Talitha Koum**: Here's another double for you, it's what I plan to do for a while since it's taking so long for the chapters to come out Indeed Heero would rather not think about the headaches and what might possibly be causing them, can't really blame him either (laughs) but that all ends in the next chapter. (laughs) I never thought of Heero drawing before…not sure why the idea is funny to me it just is! Yeah I can explain the ¼ that appeared in the chapter. One of my editors used a really bizarre formatting on the chapter, and it caused this odd coding to appear in the chapter, I thought I had removed it all…but clearly I missed some, thankfully that formatting hasn't been used again! Thanks for the reviews! I hope you enjoy the chapters as much as you were anticipating!!

**D3**: (laughs) I think he's more glad he had a shirt on. Thanks for the reviews I hope you enjoy this double chapter!

**jellybean-kitty**: Unfortunately that's what happened…I'm sorry. I hope you'll enjoy these chapters late as they are.

**L.A.Une**: thanks so much! I hope you like them!

**mikinyet**: thanks for the review, glad you enjoy the chapters, I hope these were well worth the wait also!

**Midnight's Falling Star**: Thanks! It means a lot to me that you're willing to wait! I still hate making you wait…but sometimes there's just nothing I can do about it. I hope these were worth the wait Thanks for the review!

**KnighteWolfe**: Thanks for the review. About Dorothy, I had so many characters to try and balance in this story, that I knew some wouldn't be making appearances. Dorothy was never a favourite character of mine, and although I can appreciate her when she's well written, she's not someone I wanted to attempt on top of everything else. Noin only made her first appearance in the last chapter…and I don't think she's likely to reappear any time soon…It's just one of the problems when dealing with such a massive work. Thank you again I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

**IchikoKitsuneKoumori**: Thank you for the reviews! There was no worries of anyone overhearing at the party since it was only them at the party, they couldn't risk anyone seeing that Heero was alive. I doubt I'd have much luck with those either, although I wasn't bad in math if I had a calculator (laughs) Thanks again I hope you enjoy the next two chapters

**Aerith21**: Thanks so much for the review! I really hope you continue to enjoy this story, there's a lot more to come!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing, and I make no money from this

**Are You Ready?**

Heero stepped out into the main section of the warehouse. The place was expansive and built up with numerous rooms in various sizes, connected by corridors and air ducts, many of which could actually be adjusted. The entire place was designed to be reworked at any time, even mid-scenario. The lighting, air, and temperature could all be adjusted at a techs whim. Heero adjusted his gear. It was early in the day, and they had all arrived an hour ago. It had taken time to get everything ready. Under normal circumstances each agent was designated a technician who would monitor their vitals and progress through the missions. But with only Sally, John and Relena watching from the monitoring room it had taken extra time for Sally to get everything hooked up.

Personally he would have preferred to forgo the sensors and just focus on getting the first scenario underway, but Sally had been adamant, and now they were all ready. He wore a light weight flack jacket. Since they used rubber bullets—to simulate the feel—there wasn't much need for actual body armor, though it was always best to be accustomed to wearing some form. The other pilots stood with him, checking over their equipment. They had each been issued two handguns and several clips. In normal cases agents positioned in the Warehouse as hostels would be armed with rifles or machine guns, which the training agent could secure if they could take out the enemy. In this case weapons had been hidden about for them to find if they knew where to look.

Heero slung a satchel over his shoulder, dropping the extra clips into it along with his spare gun. It already held a knife, flash grenade and a few electronics he had personally added. Glancing up at the others, Heero saw that they were ready. "Sally, you ready up there?" he asked. The ear piece that he wore caught conversation within ten feet of him so there was no reason to raise his voice.

"Just give me a couple more minutes. I'm showing John and Relena a little of how this works, they're going to help me," she answered back.

"Understood," he felt his head nod curtly. He was falling into mission mode, and he wasn't the only one.

Quatre smoothly chambered a bullet in his gun and raised it up sighting down the barrel, "It's been a while…" he breathed, though he looked no less confident or comfortable with the weapon.

"Alright," Sally's voice came over a general PA, "We're going to have to do things a little differently today. I've uploaded your instructions to your PDAs. Once you're all in place we'll begin."

Heero pulled out the small device, pressing a finger to the screen before taking a moment to read over the information. The first mission Sally had planed was infiltration of an enemy base. An appropriate choice, Heero thought, as he continued to read. Wufei, Trowa and Duo would be the enemy. He knew this was a difficult job for them, but Heero wasn't underestimating their abilities. He knew they'd have the information that he needed to complete the mission guarded tight, but he was finally ready to show them some of what he had learned during his three years away.

"Looks like I'm with you," Quatre said, slipping his own hand-held device back into his pocket. The other three had already moved off, their footsteps no longer heard on the metal floors.

As he glanced over their surroundings and pulled up the schematic Sally had sent to them, Heero felt a rush of adrenaline enter into his system, excitement filling him. He tried to squash the emotion however, not wanting it to reek havoc on his vitals. He didn't want Sally to see. He wanted to rip the sensors off right now, but knew the game would come to an immediate close if he did, so he merely started off towards where they would begin the mission.

WMWMWMW

Sally leaned back in her chair, eyes flickering over the video screens in front of her, the mission was well underway. She had set the odds against them as best she could, trying to make it equally difficult for Duo and the others to guard the target and Heero to enter. With so few people helping she couldn't over complicate matters, though as it was she felt the pilots working with and against each other it was still a challenge. On a few screens to her left the pilots vitals were displayed. She had noticed a slight jump in Heero's when the mission began. Watching him on the cameras she'd seen no outward change to say he was excited, and only seconds later the readings had stabilized again.

"How often have you come here Sally?" John asked, leaning back in his chair to regard her from the station next to her.

"Quite often. I'm usually called in to monitor a returning agent. I want them to be one hundred percent before I send them back out into the field." She wasn't present for every 'mission' they ran the agent through, that would take up too much of her time. Although she did come in once the other techs told her the agent was ready, then it was her job to throw everything she could at that agent and see if he could actually take it.

"What sort of things do you test them on?"

Sally smiled a little at that. "Whatever their weakness is." She had made it a point every time to familiarize herself with the agent's medical records, finding out what had sidelined them in the first place. Whatever that was, was what the Defense Corp needed to be concerned about. Her eyes focused back in on the screen displaying an image of Heero stealthily working his way towards his goal. "Observe." She looked to John, briefly seeing that he was staring at the screen, and then reached for a button among the dozens before her.

WMWMWMW

Heero pressed his back tightly to the wall, glancing around the corner without exposing himself. The dimly lit hallway was empty. With his gun in front of him he rounded the corner, he and Quatre slowly closing the distance on their target. The minute his entire body was around the bend a blinding light lit up before him. Pain ignited in his head at the sudden change and Heero immediately ducked back around the corner, biting back on the pain. "Fuck!" he cursed, mentally directing the word Sally's way. He knew it had been her.

"Not a problem for you?" her voice spoke softly into his ear, "I believe that's what you said…"

He glared daggers at the nearest camera, "It's not," he hissed. "Anyone would have pulled back from that." There was a slight chance that sudden light had alerted one of the pilots, he couldn't stay here for long.

"Perhaps," Sally returned "So what now?"

Heero sighed he was going to have to find another way around. His lips twitched up slightly as he moved towards one of the air ducts. If it did attract a pilot, it might just have made his job a little easier. "Quatre, what's your status?" he asked quietly.

"I'm in the northeast stairwell, what's happened?"

"Sally's been playing games," he answered, pulling himself into the air duct hearing a disconcerted snort from Sally. "We're going to have to make a slight change." He pulled himself down the air duct, his small form fitting easily within. He moved into a different cross section, hiding himself away in case someone were to glance through the grating.

"What did you have in mind?" Quatre asked softly. He had come up wit the plan originally and if it hadn't been for Sally's games, it'd have worked.

Heero pulled out his PDA, drawing up a schematic of the base again. "I'm just south of our target. This duct leads right into the room."

"You want to hit it from there?"

"I have to do a little rewiring first," his eyes sought out Quatre's location on the layout.

"Alright, I'll pull back for now, let me know when you're ready." He was too easily cornered in the stairwell.

"Understood." Heero slipped the PDA away, knowing where he was headed. He moved back into the main part of the air duct, making as little noise as possible.

WMWMWMW

"I see what you mean…" John breathed, chuckling softly, "Though it really didn't do much to stop him."

Sally nodded her head, "It amazes me sometimes how quickly these boys think on their feet." She leaned back again, able to sit back for a moment and just watch, but the moment was short lived. She leaned forward, studying a screen more closely. "Heero what the hell are you doing?" she asked, flipping a switch on the board in front of her.

"Rewiring. What does it look like…?" he returned in a low voice, his hands continuing to pull apart wires and strip the rubber from them.

"The techs are going to be pissed when they see this," she warned.

"Then they shouldn't have left it accessible."

"Just what is he planning on doing?" John asked, peering at the screen.

"I'm not actually sure." She pulled up a detailed schematic onto a spare monitor. "Looks like he's messing with the lighting." She flipped the switch again, opening her line of communication with Heero. "That's taking you a long time."

"Hn…" was Heero's only reply as he continued working.

"You know the duct you're in can collapse." Her fingers hovered over the keys.

"Not if I'm below the weight restriction." Voice confident as his eyes remained focused on his work. "Last time you harassed me I was," he pointed out.

"Don't think this little advantage will keep me from 'harassing' you about it later." She used his word, a smirk playing on her face as she cast a brief glance over John's way. He was chuckling softly. Heero's only response was a soft grunt as he continued stripping wires. Sally could only shake her head. As much as she knew the techs would be displeased by Heero's changes, she wanted to see what he was trying to do.

WMWMWMW

"Anything, Duo?" Wufei's voice spoke into the braided man's ear.

Duo shook his head, "Nothing. If he was here he's long gone now."

"Alright, pull back. We'll tighten the perimeter. There's only so many ways they can approach."

Casting one last glance towards the empty hall, Duo turned back towards the blinding light that hadn't gone out yet. If it had been triggered by either Heero or Quatre's movement, shouldn't it have gone out again? Unless that was…Duo's eyes glanced up towards the camera watching him, Sally had been playing around. He smiled. Whatever she wanted to do to liven this up a little, there wasn't as much for them to _do _besides guarding the room from Heero and Quatre. But he was still enjoying the excitement being on high alert, trying to decide from which direction the attack would finally come. He didn't doubt the possibility that Heero or Quatre could be in the ventilation system, however at some point in time they were going to have to show themselves.

"This is going to get fun," he smiled.

WMWMWMW

Heero studied his careful work for the last time, satisfied that everything was where he needed it to be. He then reached for his PDA and quickly revised the original plan before sending. "Quatre, I'm sending you the changes now," he spoke quietly.

"Alright," Quatre responded quietly, "It'll take me a bit to get into position."

"Let me know when you are." Heero took the opportunity to prepare himself for the last stage of this mission. Shifting away from the exposed wires, the former pilot removed his shoes. Quietly placing them aside, he also pulled the flack jacket from his thin frame, knowing he'd be able to move more quietly without both those. He took his handgun and placed it in the back of his pants, adding a few clips to his back pocket. Taking hold of his one flash grenade Heero straightened himself out in the air duct and continued to wait. All that was left was to set the timer and make it to his destination.

"Heero I'm in position," Quatre announced finally, "How long?"

"Five minutes once I set the timer," he answered.

"Alright, I'm ready."

Heero primed the charge and immediately began moving down the ventilation shaft. "Go," he whispered to Quatre.

WMWMWMW

Sally watched the computer screens before her. The monitoring room around her was almost utterly silent as John and Relena both just watched. The only sound to break through was the chatter coming from the pilots. Her attention was focused more intently on Heero than the others. She watched him as he worked with a small multi-tool working to pry open the metal grate in the bottom of the duct, the flash grenade resting beside him.

"About a minute to go," John commented, softly having been keeping time since Heero had set the device.

By this time Heero had loosened the grate, "Quatre, are you in place?" he asked, voice almost impossible to hear.

"Roger…" the blond returned, his body pressed tightly against a wall, a gun in each hand held up in front of him.

"Zero…" the old doctor breathed, and on near perfect cue the lights around that section of the base flashed and went dead.

"What the hell?" Duo cursed,

"Heero," Trowa breathed.

The camera's immediately went to infrared when the lights died, and Sally could see the pilots standing by the door, back towards each other, heads turning, waiting for whatever was to come next. Quatre was on the move now, guns held at the ready. Heero primed the flash grenade, raising the grate above the pilots' heads.

"Now," Heero breathed releasing the grenade and looking away as it went off almost instantly.

"Fuck," Duo barked, shielding his eyes from the blinding light,

Quatre dashed around the corner, firing off shots in rapid succession, the rubber bullets connecting with both Trowa and Duo, who fired off shots of their own. Heero didn't waste a second, he was pulling himself down to the end of the air duct, immediately removing his gun and aiming it at the small grate at the end.

WMWMWMW

Heero's eyes looked through the metal grating, still hearing the echo of gunshots behind him. Wufei, who stood in the room in a ready stance, waited as the last line of defense. A smirk touched Heero's lips as he pulled the trigger, his single bullet slamming into the Chinese man's chest. "You're dead," he breathed when Wufei's head shot up to his location.

He shook his head slowly getting back to his feet, "Didn't seriously think even you could fit in there…" he breathed.

"It is a little tight," Heero admitted, pushing himself back towards the grate he had dropped the grenade through.

"Great work," Sally commended over the PA. She switched on the emergency lighting as Heero dropped down to the floor below.

"Damnit, now I have one hell of a spot in front of my eyes," the braided man complained, rubbing at his eyes while directing a half hearted glare Heero's way.

Wufei walked out into the hall a moment later, onyx eyes looking Heero over. "Ditched your flack jacket?"

"Where'd your shoes go?" Trowa asked almost at the same time, smirking.

Heero shrugged and looked back up towards the vent. "Left them back there…"

"Never really realized how much I missed this," Quatre laughed, coming around the corner, "But this might be a little hard to explain to the media if they catch sight of it," he chuckled, showing them his arm. The sleeve had been rolled up as far as it could go, revealing a fast forming bruise from where one of the bullets had hit him.

"I knew I hit you!" Duo cheered, pointing a finger. "Only fair since Heero blinded me."

"Better get your stuff," Trowa said, his only warning before he suddenly lifted Heero back towards the vent he had jumped from. Heero's expression darkened at that but he didn't protest, merely pushed off Trowa's shoulder as he climbed back into the vent, making his way back to where his things had been left.

WMWMWMW

Heero let the spray of the shower splash off his face for a brief moment before he finally shut the water off and reached for the towel hanging nearby. It was late at night, and they had run through several scenarios, switching up the groups, objectives, and the Warehouse itself. Sometimes they were working against a time limit, others Sally stacked the odds against them as best she could. They had passed them all, and had worked up a good sweat while doing it too. Swiping the water from his face Heero quickly dried before wrapping the towel around his waist.

"Took you long enough," a feminine voice commented the moment he stepped from the shower stall to the locker room just on the other side.

"Sally wouldn't let me leave…" He shook his head, sending droplets of water flying everywhere. "I think she was getting even for my shorting the lights."

"You're starting to bruise," Relena said, stepping up to him, hands reaching for his arm where a nice welt was beginning to color. "And there too…" she touched his side, "Those rubber bullets are harsh."

"Nothing to the real thing," he replied, looking down at himself. He had taken a few shots, as had most of the others. He was just pleased none of them had been even close to 'fatal'.

Relena kissed him soundly on the mouth. "Well I don't want you getting hit by either." She smiled up at him as her fingers ghosted down the lines of his torso.

He offered her a faint smile before moving over to where his clean clothes waited. As best he could without making it obvious, Heero tried to keep his left shoulder from Relena's line of sight. He felt stupid doing it but couldn't seem to stop himself. Glancing over his shoulder he saw that Relena had turned her back , offering him a little privacy. He changed quickly, wanting his shirt on more than anything else.

"Can I peek?" Relena asked with a laugh.

Heero had made his way to silently stand behind her. "Be my guest," he answered softly into her ear.

She jumped, spun and nearly lost her balance. His arm shot out to catch her as she laughed again. "Don't do that." She kissed him, running her fingers through his damp hair. Heero stood her up again and moved back to the bench where his bag sat. Pulling on his shoes Heero put the towel inside and took hold of the bag. "Going back to the agency for the night?" She took hold of his arm as they walked from the locker room. "I heard something about Sally picking up dinner for everyone."

"I'm starving!" Duo proclaimed loudly.

"What about Hilde and the kids?" Relena asked, curious.

Duo flashed her a brilliant smile. "Catherine's over helping with the kids."

"That's sweet of her." She unconsciously hugged Heero's arm a little tighter, and he looked down at her, finding her expression a little hard to read. She looked pleased, hopeful as well, and something else he couldn't positively identify.

"Well, shall we?" Duo asked, shouldering his own bag and taking a step towards the door. "Sally and John have already gone to get dinner for everyone, and Wufei and the others are waiting in the car."

They walked outside together, Duo locking the door securely behind them. Heero ducked into the very back of the vehicle, along with Relena, while Duo slipped in beside Quatre. Relena leaned herself against him, raising his arm so it was resting on her shoulders. "Are you hungry?" she asked him, looking up at his face.

"A little." They had been active for most of the day, taking a short break around noon for a quick meal, but like most days were he spent a lot of time exercising he actually found he had an appetite.

"Good." She snuggled a little closer, "I think I heard they were getting pizza."

"Damages?" Trowa asked, suddenly twisting in the front passenger's seat to look Heero's way.

"Just my arm and side," he replied.

"Could have sworn I caught you in the leg as well," Wufei commented, turning the wheel as he wove through traffic.

"I didn't see anything," Relena commented very softly.

Heero reached with his left hand to the upper part of his thigh, "Yeah I forgot about that one…"

"You got off easy," Duo complained, dropping his head back so he was looking at Heero from the top of his eyes. "You won't be so lucky tomorrow."

"What makes you think you'll have a better chance tomorrow?" Heero asked with a raised eyebrow.

"What makes you so sure I won't?" Duo returned with a cheeky smile.

"It's really too bad we can't go up against the usual agents," Quatre lamented. "That was always a good time."

Heero wouldn't have said it was more of a challenge against the agents, though there were more of them to contend with, but being able to work with all the pilots definitely gave them an advantage. He had felt completely comfortable today, with everything Sally had thrown at him. Today alone told him he was ready to finish the mission he had started four years ago. But he still had no idea when that was going to happen. Soon, he was sure. He didn't mind the idea of running through more scenarios. There was no harm in testing himself, pushing to discover his limits.

They arrived back at the agency shortly, Heero and Relena waiting in the back of the vehicle for the others to get out before they too left. It no longer being the holidays made Heero's entering and leaving the agency a little more difficult, but with a little forethought they made it in without incident. Once up to their floor again, Heero took a moment to drop his bag off in his room before he joined the others in the common room, where Sally and John waited with pizza boxes and disposable plates sitting on the coffee table.

Duo slapped his hands together as he walked over to the couch, dropping down. "So what do you have planned for tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" she looked at him, surprised. Pulling a slice of pizza from the first box, she asked "When have you ever gone two days in a row?"

The Japanese man repressed a sigh, taking a seat on another couch. He had a feeling that would be the case. The missions were more intense that usual training, and injuries had been known to happen. The agency didn't take risks where they could be avoided. Then again, most agents didn't run through scenarios for an entire day.

"We want all of you to take a break tomorrow," John said, passing Heero a plate.

"Besides, I have meetings I have to attend," Relena sighed, seating herself next to Heero.

Trowa looked at her, his expression dry. "Try not to sound so thrilled."

"Oh, so you're looking forward to it?" she asked with a laugh.

"How are you feeling, Heero?" the old doctor inquired, turning to face the former pilot. "You really threw yourself into the missions."

"Have to treat it like its real," he shrugged, ignoring the first half of what John said, (and) eating some of his meal, "Otherwise it's useless."

John blinked in surprise, sitting a little straighter, his mouth opening but nothing immediately came out. "Yes John," Sally spoke, eyes flickering over all of them, "They throw themselves that recklessly into the actual missions."

"Nothing reckless about it Sal," Duo countered.

Trowa shifted from where he was standing, "We get the job done."

She raised a hand in her own defense. "Never said you didn't. I just question your need to jump in front of bullets."

Heero watched the scene unfold around him, content to just observe. Relena snuggled up against him again settling his arm across her shoulders. "I didn't take a 'fatal' hit, did any of you?" Duo asked with a smile.

"Outside of missions where Heero's goal was to kill me?" Wufei began, looking pointedly in his friend's direction, "No,"

"Same here," Trowa informed with a nod. Quatre as well.

"There you go," Duo smiled, looking pleased.

"Umm…getting shot altogether is something most agents generally try to avoid," Sally pointed out calmly. Despite everything she said, she was used to their tactics, even though she didn't like them.

Duo raised his hands. "I don't have a lot of patience. Besides, my way works."

"Have you ever tried the usual methods?" John asked. He sounded genuinely curious.

"If by that you mean 'Have they come back from missions not shot to pieces?,' yes, but I don't think they've ever actually tried to play by the standard agency rules," she informed him seriously.

"Une's never had a problem with our strategy," the Chinese man commented.

"She's not the one patching you up every time," Sally shot back.

Heero felt Relena's eyes on him as the conversation continued good naturedly around him, and he looked down to see concern in her eyes. "Would you actually throw yourself into a situation that could cost you your life?" she asked in a low voice meant only for him.

"I'm confident in my abilities," he returned just as softly, not sure how to truly answer that question. What he viewed as life threatening, and what an outsider saw as life-threatening were two entirely different things. He knew immediately that Relena would view situations as far more dangerous than he did, but she hadn't been trained to deal with them, like he had. "It's all a matter of perspective…"

"Somehow I don't find that very comforting…" she whispered, staring at him intently, her left hand reaching across him to lightly hug his torso as he left arm pulled her to him.

"Just trust me," he asked as laughter broke out from more than one present in the room, the light hearted conversation continuing on around them.

Thanks for Reading!

**Prove It!**:

He lifted the blankets off himself and caught sight of the metallic glint of his gun. From the moment Trowa had given it to him it had been by his side resting beneath his right hand while he slept. He no longer needed it to protect himself, but he wasn't about to get rid of it either, it had been a gift. Heero took the gun into his right hand and smoothed his left across it, the weight felt perfect in his hand now, exactly how he remembered it. A knock on his door brought up his eyes and caused him to place the weapon aside as he glanced towards the clock. It was too early in the day for Relena to be here, even if it was a Sunday, she liked to take that day and get a little extra sleep.

Sally walked through the door her eyes opening a little wider when she saw him in his bed, "Did you just wake up?" she sounded surprised.

"Complain when I don't sleep, complain when I do," he mumbled under his breath, "Yes," he said so she could hear, though it should have been obvious. Heero shifted off the bed away from Sally standing on the cold tile floor, he glanced back over his shoulder, "Warehouse?" he asked, she'd never come to personally get him but there was always a first despite what Relena tended to think.

"No, we're done with that," she folded her arms across her chest, "In about a week's time we'll be taking out the Inner Circle."

"'Bout time," Heero said immediately.

Sally chuckled, "Well that just about put a smile on your face," her expression grew a little more serious though as she walked to the end of the bed, "There's just one last thing you have to go through to be cleared for missions again."

"Yeah," he sighed, not at all surprised, "That's why you came down so early?"

Morganeth Taren'drel


	66. Prove It!

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: I hope everyone enjoyed the last chapter, They'll be taking on the Inner Circle soon!

I want to thank my editors for finding time in their busy schedules to edit these chapters for me! THANKS!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing

**Prove It!**

Sally passed a file folder across to her friend before settling back in her chair again with a mug of hot coffee. It was the middle of January and she and the pilots had made several long trips to the Warehouse. She had put Heero through everything she could think of. He had met every challenge face on and won. Sally had been thrilled, but not the least bit surprised that Heero could fight his way back from such extensive injuries and continue to be such an incredible fighter.

"This is impressive Sally," Une commented, placing the folder on the coffee table between them where they sat in Sally's apartment.

"From the first time it was like he hadn't been laid up for almost a year," she nodded, and knew just how pleased Heero was about all of this. He had been eager for each mission, though he had kept a better control over his vitals than he had on the first day, Sally had caught his slips every once in a while.

"So…" Une began looking at Sally intently, the doctor knew she was waiting for something.

Sally took a sip of her coffee, "When's the mission actually set for?"

"I've been waiting on you to clear Heero for the mission," she returned, "Once you've done that I can have the last people gathered and arranged in a week's time." She took up her own mug, "According to what I just saw in here," her index finger tapped against the folder, "He's ready."

"His physical's tomorrow," Sally informed, tomorrow was a Sunday which would leave her offices empty allowing her—with the help of the pilots—to slip Heero inside.

"Good, does he know yet?" the commander asked with an arched eyebrow.

"He ought to know it's coming…" she began, eyes dropping from her friends face to look off in another direction, "But I wasn't planning on actually telling him until I need him to come down."

"I have no doubts he'll pass with flying colors, but after so long I'm not willing to over look a formality," Une said leaning back in her chair.

Sally nodded her head in agreement, "I'm more concerned about his headaches, in the end it's all really just an excuse for my to find out what's causing them," and she was going to do just that whether Heero liked it or not.

"Any guesses about it?"

"No…" she sighed in frustration, "I've been wracking my brain over it ever since I found out, I can think of a lot of possibilities but nothing really fits completely."

Une smiled reassuringly, "You'll find out what it is."

She leaned forward suddenly clasping her hands together and looking Une directly in the eye, "I'm going to find out what it is," Sally agreed with a brief nod, "But then I'm just going to ignore it and send him into a mission?"

"It has been over half a year," Une pointed out, "Do you really expect to find something life threatening?"

"I just don't know what I'm going to find, and I really don't think Heero wants to know…" she ran a hand over the back of her head, dropping it down to massage at her neck.

"That's not very sound thinking on his part," Une mused.

"If you had been bed-ridden for as long as he, would you want to find out about something that could possibly put you back there?" Sally asked, "I know if doesn't make much sense, but he's still human, even if at times he'd rather not admit it."

"True," Une leaned back raising her right arm so it rested on the back of the seat, fingers tracing lightly along the top, "I've been thinking about the reactions I'll get from the other agents when they see Heero."

"That'll definitely make things more interesting…" Sally breathed having not thought that far ahead yet.

"I figure it's not necessary for every agent to know that he's a part of this or even alive until after the mission is complete. It's enough that we got the info from him and are acting on it," her eyes sought the ceiling, expression serious. "Of course the ones we send in with the pilots will have to know."

"We can deal with that closer to the actual date though," she smirked to herself imagining their expressions when Heero walked into the room, it would be interesting to say the least. Sally blinked suddenly an idea just occurring to her, "What about Relena? Where's she going to be during this time?"

"With her usual guards gone it could possibly raise a lot of questions if we just switched them out; then again I don't know if we'll be able to manage keeping her secluded here either." Une looked back to Sally, "The last thing I want is to incite any form of panic, but I don't want her dodging questions the entire time either.

"Well we can always hope the change will go unnoticed, its Relena the media wants not her personal guards, though they have attracted their own share of attention over the years…"

"Heh…" Une chuckled dryly, "Sometimes I just wish for a simple life…"

Sally laughed, "Yeah right, you'd be so bored!"

"Not if I'd never experiences any of this," Une smiled shaking her head slowly, "Don't worry about Relena, I'll look after everything, you just focus on Heero." Her gaze on Sally's face became suddenly intense, "I told you so…" she gloated softly.

"What?"

"I told you things between you and Heero would get better," she pointed a single finger in her friend's direction.

Sally sat back in her seat, her memory suddenly returning to of the conversation she and Une had had over three months ago. "I just got so pissed off when he suddenly left the agency," she admitted.

"I'm not surprised it took something like that, do you get the distinct impression Heero's happier now too?" she suddenly asked.

The doctor thought about it for a moment, "He's certainly more relaxed."

Une smiled shifting to the edge of her seat, "It'll be interesting to see how tomorrow goes for you." She stood up, pulling a hand absently through her hair, "You'll send me a final report when you're through?"

"Of course," Sally assured coming to her feet as well.

"Good luck tomorrow," Une smiled making her way over to the door.

Sally chuckled, "Thanks…"

WMWMWMW

Heero woke slowly in the same room he had been waking in for the last eight months. Oddly enough it didn't feel like his room despite the time he had put in there, and the pictures that Ash had placed on the wall for him. Perhaps it was because he knew it wasn't permanent, he was going to move on from this place, back to his old room? He didn't know about that, a willful portion of himself wanted to be wherever Relena was, but a more rational side of himself knew that wasn't possible at least at the moment.

Pushing himself up in his bed Heero ran a hand through his hair pulling the unruly mass from his eyes briefly before it fell back into place content to remain where it was, and he could have cared less. Taking a moment to look himself over Heero noted the fading and still darkening bruises on one of his arms from the missions he had run through at the Warehouse. It had been several days since the last run through, and despite his enjoyment of them Heero was beginning to feel impatient. He hadn't honestly expected it to go on for this long, he had thought the first three times would have been enough.

He lifted the blankets off himself and caught sight of the metallic glint of his gun. From the moment Trowa had given it to him it had been by his side resting beneath his right hand while he slept. He no longer needed it to protect himself, but he wasn't about to get rid of it either, it had been a gift. Heero took the gun into his right hand and smoothed his left across it, the weight felt perfect in his hand now, exactly how he remembered it. A knock on his door brought up his eyes and caused him to place the weapon aside as he glanced towards the clock. It was too early in the day for Relena to be here, even if it was a Sunday, she liked to take that day and get a little extra sleep.

Sally walked through the door her eyes opening a little wider when she saw him in his bed, "Did you just wake up?" she sounded surprised.

"Complain when I don't sleep, complain when I do," he mumbled under his breath, "Yes," he said so she could hear, though it should have been obvious. Heero shifted off the bed away from Sally standing on the cold tile floor, he glanced back over his shoulder, "Warehouse?" he asked, she'd never come to personally get him but there was always a first despite what Relena tended to think.

"No, we're done with that," she folded her arms across her chest, "In about a week's time we'll be taking out the Inner Circle."

"'Bout time," Heero said immediately.

Sally chuckled, "Well that just about put a smile on your face," her expression grew a little more serious though as she walked to the end of the bed, "There's just one last thing you have to go through to be cleared for missions again."

"Yeah," he sighed, not at all surprised, "That's why you came down so early?"

"Just thought you'd want to get it out of the way as soon as possible," she shrugged one shoulder.

It was true, if he had to deal with being put under the microscope before he could finish this mission he wanted it done quick. He wasn't a fan of the idea in the least, and this certainly wasn't the first time he had been forced to deal with it. He could argue if he wanted, but in the end he just wanted to take down the Inner Circle, so he'd humor Sally in this, pass the physical and get back out in the field. "Let's just get this over with," he said pulling some clean clothes out to change into, he didn't bother leaving the room, just kept his back facing away from Sally.

Sally's expression was one of surprise, as though she hadn't been expecting him to agree so easily. Her stance relaxed a little as he continued to change and she moved back towards the door. Pulling on his shoes, Heero crossed the room as Sally glanced back over her shoulder to make sure he was following as they walked from the room, "The pilots have taken care of the cameras, and we won't run into anyone this early," she assured as they strode towards the elevator.

Heero just nodded his head, if she was going to take him to the infirmary to do this—not that she didn't have just about everything she needed right here—he had known the pilots would be in on it. Some soldiers were going to have to learn of him before they attacked the Inner Circle, but that wouldn't happen until just before they left. Personally Heero would have preferred to avoid it all, he didn't want to have to explain to everyone he came across that he wasn't the enemy.

He could feel Sally's eyes watching him frequently as they walked through the empty halls of the base, "Have you thought about what you're going to do when this is over?" she asked finally.

It was his turn to study her, as she pushed a door open for the both of them, the door leading into her section of the infirmary. "No," he responded after only a moment, he hadn't thought about what he was going to do once the Inner Circle had been taken down, there would be more than enough time to do that when the mission was over. Why distract himself now? Relena would be waiting for him and he'd definitely want to spend some time with her.

"Why am I not surprised?" she asked with a sigh, smiling at him, "I'll bet Relena's been thinking about it," she commented with a wink.

Heero walked into the large examination room, "No doubt," he replied, he already knew definitively that she had been; Relena had asked him herself a while back. But he had never really bothered thinking too many steps ahead, even during the war he had entered a few situations not bothering to think of a way out. Though back then it was simply because his life had been expendable, or so he had thought at the time, now at least where the missions were concerned he wanted to be more on his toes, had to come back alive, had to see Relena's smiling face.

He shook his head clearing away the thoughts that had been clouding his vision, only to see Sally staring at him a tiny smile on her lips, "Why don't you kick off your shoes and step on the scale," she said pointing her thumb in the scale's direction.

He repressed a sigh, "Didn't we just do this?" he had gone along with her without complaint, that didn't mean he was just going to simply go along with whatever she said.

"Humor me," was her flat reply.

Shrugging, Heero kicked off his shoes as Sally walked over to the counter and gathered a few things from the cupboards there. The electronic scale only took a second to read his weight and he was off it again pulling his shoes back on. Sally returned to him, a clipboard in hand pen twirling between her fingers as she glanced briefly at the screen before writing the number down, she had been harassing him on his weight just about once a week, no doubt she had a chart somewhere that she was carefully filling out.

"Hmmm…" she mused to herself looking up at him, "Still not there yet."

"You think it'd change in three days?" Heero looked at her skeptically.

She just grinned at him, "Come sit over here," she directed him with the clipboard that she held, towards the exam table resting against the far wall. Heero hopped up easily silently waiting for the barrage to begin, as Sally systematically began checking everything off on her list, marking down numbers an notes in the margin to later file away properly. The doctor informed Heero of everything before she continued, he wasn't on edge at the moment, but was still grateful to get the forewarning.

His eyes wandered to the clock noting the slow progression of time as Sally continued her examination, asking him questions he attempted to answer with as few words as possible. This Sally was used to, and so didn't complain, she had an amazing talent at reading them. The questions were as much to keep an awkward silence from coming between them as a conscious effort to annoy them.

WMWMWMW

Relena sat in the back seat of her car, Trowa right beside her as they drove to the agency. It was midmorning, and Sally had called her yesterday night asking her to come in and give her a hand with Heero. She wondered what sort of a mood he'd be in, she seriously doubted it'd be a good one, though there was always room to hope. "So what does it mean that this is happening today?" she asked breaking the comfortable silence of their ride.

"In a week, we'll be heading out to Freedom's Point," he answered looking down at her, his arms folded across his chest.

She had known it was coming, they had been working towards it for months, but still she felt surprised, and felt the first sparks of concern settle into her chest. Something told her it wasn't going to lighten up until this was all over, only get worse. "Just what Heero's been waiting for…" she breathed wanting to say something but not sure what.

Trowa's arms unfolded and he took Relena's hand, "Not that I expect you to sound thrilled, but you know we'll have his back," he offered with a reassuring squeeze of her hand.

"It's not just him," she contended immediately, of course she'd worry for the man she loved, but she had come to care for all the pilots over the years. Relena didn't want to see any of them step into harms way, "I'm not going to sleep at all until you're all back."

"I'm sure Sally can help you with that," he replied deadpan, his lips twitching slightly though as if he were fighting to keep a smile from his face.

"Drugs will not stop me from worrying," she told him keeping her expression serious though her mouth was threatening to turn up in a smile.

"Sure they will," he countered, "You just haven't been taking the right ones."

Relena looked at him in surprise unable to keep her expression as lacking as his still was looking down at her, "Duo's rubbing off on you," she said after a moment.

"Maybe," he looked back towards the front of the car, the moment seemingly gone.

She smiled and leaned against Trowa, glad finally that she felt normal around him, "I want you all to come back safe. I don't want you to have to go out and continue fighting."

"As idealistic as ever," he answered softly.

"In some ways," she admitted knowing it to be true, it was impossible to expect the world to remain peaceful no matter how much of the population wanted it. Relena tried her hardest not to think of such things, it just got depressing. They just had to struggle on, watching carefully and praying that they could catch these organizations before they could incite any violence.

"We're here," Trowa announced as the car came to a stop.

"Do you suppose Sally's in the infirmary with him right now?" she asked wondering if it was possible that Heero had gone without argument, she had a hard time believing it.

Trowa nodded his head as he got out of the car and offered her his hand, his emerald eyes scanning around, more out of habit that any fear of danger. "If he balked Sally had us backing her, he'd go one way or another," Trowa said opening the door for her that took them into the agency.

"You always work against each other when it comes to Sally," she chuckled.

"Not always," he smirked, "Right now we're working together."

_Definitely too much time around Duo_ she thought, but kept it to herself as Trowa led the way through the corridors to the medical wing and Sally's office. She was eager to see Heero as always, and hoped he'd be in a good mood, enough so that at least he was happy to see her. They hadn't come across anyone in the halls—which Relena supposed was a good thing—when they came to Sally's office, "Do you know which room they're in?" she asked, and Trowa silently nodded continuing to lead the way.

He knocked upon the door waiting for Sally's okay to enter, having been expecting them they only had to wait a second. Walking into the large exam room, Relena immediately saw Heero slowly sitting up on the padded table while Sally pulled a scanner away from him. She smiled at the sight of him, unruly hair falling into his rich eyes, expression grim as was usual. Relena noted a tightness around his eyes and jaw, perhaps not uncommon for Heero, but the tense set of his shoulders also told her that he wasn't happy. Though the minute those cobalt eyes landed on her a little of that tension seemed to melt away.

"I'm glad you could make it Relena," Sally greeted with a smile as she jotted down some notes, her eyes switching between the paper she was writing on and the computer screen displaying the information she had just attained. "We're just about finished here," she smiled slipping the pen onto the clip board.

"_Just_ about?" Heero questioned eyes narrowing a fraction, "You've been through everything, we're through," he stepped off the table.

"Not quite Heero," Sally called out to him, "There's still the matter of and MRI and a CT scan."

He glared at her darkly, and Relena knew instantly that Heero was going to fight this tooth and nail, "That's not part of this," he told her firmly taking a few more steps towards the door, only to see that Trowa had planted himself squarely in front of it.

"For you pilots it ought to be," she told him simply.

WMWMWMW

Heero glared daggers back over his shoulder to where Sally calmly stood, her stance was relaxed but he could tell immediately that she wasn't going to let up about this. He cursed internally, he should have seen this coming, she had been planning it from the beginning. That was why she and John had let the matter slide for as long as they did, they had both assumed that sooner or later he would be cornered into this situation. Well he wasn't just going to fold, dammit it was his body, and if he wasn't concerned why should they be?

"Out of my way Barton," Heero growled, but the taller man remained planted shaking his head slowly.

"We're behind Sally one this one," he answered after a moment.

His fists clenched and released the muscles in his arms cording each time, he noted Relena's presence in the room as well, standing a couple of feet from him. Her expression was one of concern but she didn't appear ready to jump into the fry, for which he was silently grateful.

"Heero you're behaving irrationally," Sally pointed out coming to stand closer to him so she was able to see his face, at least in profile.

"It's irrational to want to make my own decisions?" he questioned dryly.

Sally shook her head raising her left hand one finger raised, "It's irrational to avoid these test because you're afraid of what they might show."

His eyes narrowed at her blunt words, he wasn't afraid, Heero feared nothing, "It's been over half a year," he had said it before, it was the soundest argument he had for why all the concern was so misplaced. "What do you actually expect to find?"

"I don't know," she stressed each word, "That's why I want the scans done, so I know what's causing these headaches." She sighed then her shoulders dropping a fraction, "Look Heero, let me put it to you this way, if you don't agree, I'm not going to let you out of my sight on this mission, and the pilots will help see to that."

Trowa nodded his head to that, expression grim, he knew just how hard that would be, and what sort of tension it would put on their friendship. Heero opened his mouth to protest but Sally bulled him over, "However, if you agree then I'll agree to stay behind here on Earth, so in the end the choice is up to you, and you get to make your own decision."

He fought back against the urge to punch something, but continued to glare darkly, it was then that Relena stepped up to his side. She didn't reach out to touch him, didn't close the distance too much, just came to where he could see her. He hesitated to look at her knowing what he'd see, what she'd do, he didn't want to give in, he could make his way passed Trowa if he really wanted, but then what? "Fine," he growled at last and looked up at Relena to see a smile blossom on Relena's face.

The tension in the room didn't dissipate but he thought he heard Sally breathe a sigh of relief, "Alright then, wait here I'll get everything ready," she walked from the room seconds later Trowa following behind. Heero didn't let himself believe that his friend wouldn't be standing on the other side of the door.

Heero sighed darkly as Relena finally closed the distance between them, her hands hovering over his arms for a moment before she lightly touched him, a smile touching the corner of her lips. "Come over here," she bade leading him back towards the exam table, which she hopped onto easily, "Let me massage your neck," Relena offered in a soft voice as her hand left his arm.

Turning around, Heero leaned back against the raised table in between Relena's legs as her hand came to rest on his neck, warm fingers slowly working away at the tense muscles. He let his eyes fall closed as his weight settled back completely, his head tipping forward to allow Relena better access, it just felt so good. Slowly the pain behind his eye melted away and he relaxed further, a soft groan escaped his lips as Relena's fingers worked a little deeper, able to put her weight down into it sitting above as she was.

She leaned forward kissing the back of his neck, hands slipping inside his shirt to lightly trace down his chest before she rested her head on his shoulder, "How's that feel?" she whispered into his ear.

Heero turned slowly so that he was facing her, and Relena maintained her close proximity pulling her hands out just long enough for him to turn then they were back inside his shirt laying against his back. He fought against the urge to stiffen, the brand on his left shoulder blade seeming to itch against the inside of his shirt, but Relena's hands remained still warm against his back. He lay both hands on her legs before raising his right up to her side sneaking it beneath the hem of her shirt, pressing against her back Heero brought her to him.

He felt a shiver run through her whether from his touch or the kiss he didn't know, but he felt her shift closer, one hand moving to his hair. He tilted his head further to the side, there was nothing between them now, and Heero felt like he could forget it all, in that moment. The door opening suddenly shattered the moment, and caused Relena to jump in surprise, but Heero didn't turn.

"Obviously know how to make use of your down time," Trowa commented in a dry observational tone.

"Sally's ready for him?" Relena asked slipping her hair behind her ear trying to conceal her blush.

"Yeah, John's down there too," the taller man said holding to door opened for them.

Heero shook his head, "She called in everyone…" he muttered darkly stepping away from the table so Relena could get down.

She hugged his arm, "Just to show you how much we care."

"Hn…" he grunted regarding her with a single eyebrow raised, he wouldn't mind a little less care.

"C'mon," she took his hand into hers and walked towards where Trowa was waiting, "Sooner we get this done, the sooner we can…" she trailed off smiling at him as she dropped her head onto his shoulder.

Trowa walked several steps ahead of them the entire way, and in the silence that surrounded them Heero was only able to remember why he had wanted to avoid this from the beginning. His eyes glanced off down an adjoining hall seriously considering for a minute just how easy it'd be to disappear. No doubt however they must have taken that into consideration. He sighed inaudibly, the scans wouldn't show anything, therefore there really wasn't any reason to avoid them. He certainly wasn't afraid, as Sally had implied, he just couldn't see the need.

It wasn't far for them to go to reach the room Sally and John waited in, just down a floor. He wasn't given a chance to hesitate outside the door as Trowa opened it for all of them and Relena easily walked through. Frustration burned within him, at his want to hesitate, at these unknown emotions he couldn't seem to control, at the cold sweat he felt breakout on his body. He wasn't afraid!

John stood in a side room completely separated from the one he had been lead into, watching through the glass windows as Sally came to stand in front of him, "CT scan first," she announced her right hand moving out towards Heero while her left swept in the direction of the machine. Relena released his hand and stepped back as Heero reluctantly walk across the room, reluctant only that this had not been his decision, or so he attempted to tell himself, there was nothing else it could be. "Alright, lay down," she instructed.

Heero drew in a breath and did so trying to ignore the eyes watching him as he stretched himself out on the narrow table lowering his head to the rest that Sally adjusted for him. His eyes looked up towards the ceiling, he could still easily see most of the room, but chose not to look, he just wanted this over with. Sally leaned into his line of sight a hand resting briefly on his shoulder, "Hold still, this won't take long."

He didn't bother responding, and Sally clearly hadn't been expecting one as she moved away from the table, directing both Trowa and Relena from the room as John started up the machine. Heero remained utterly still as she scanner hummed to life, this was going to get worse before it got better, the MRI would take longer and was far louder to deal with. Remaining still wasn't a problem for him, he just wanted this over with, fighting back a sigh Heero continued to stare waiting for it to be over.

WMWMWMW

Heero stood in front the large window which dominated the wall behind Sally's desk, while Relena sat in one of the chairs before the desk. Her eyes watching him calmly, she had been studying him since they had entered the office waiting to speak with Sally about the results of his physical. He was confident she could have no complaints about how he had done, it was the CT scan and MRI that left him wondering. He twisted a little, cobalt eyes glanced back at the rest of the room, they landed first on Relena, seeing a worried expression on her face he moved on quickly scanning over Sally's neatly organized desk. The day calendar read January 25, it had been three days since the tests, and he had hardly been able to think of anything else.

"Why don't you come and sit down?" Relena asked, her voice almost pleading, it was clear she didn't know quite how to act. He just shook his head eyes returning to the window, "Are you nervous?"

"No," he answered immediately, whether she'd believe him he didn't know, he wasn't even sure he could convince himself. In only a matter of three days he'd be leaving Earth along with the other pilots to end his mission, it was hard to keep his mind from just focusing on that Or on this, he kept telling himself. Sally would find nothing that could keep him from this mission, but there was always a nagging doubt especially when the headaches became particularly strong.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," Sally said as she opened the door to her office. Heero turned to look as she walked in carrying a folder in her hand. "Why don't you take a seat," the doctor moved around to the back of her desk, pulling out her leather chair, and placing the folder down on her desk. Heero finally did so, taking the empty chair next to Relena's and waited for Sally to begin.

"I'll say right now, you passed the physical with flying colors, about the only complaint I have is with your weight," her eyes flickered over him rather pointedly, "But I'd imagine you could have guess that."

"Hn…"

"On to what you really came he to find out," she flipped through several pages of the folder, "I had your MRI and CT scan looked at by the top neurologist and he was able to find the problem, it's easily repaired and not life threatening."

"That's great news," Relena breathed and audible sigh o relief, "Do you have any idea what happened to cause this?"

Heero wasn't really interested in that bit of information, he had heard what he had been sure of already, he knew there was nothing standing between himself and the mission, nothing else mattered. "Well that took some puzzling together, but after speaking with Dante and Zechs I believe I know roughly what happened. The VR machine that both of you were hooked up to required a small wire to be fed up into your brain through the soft tissue behind your ear." She folded her hands on the table, expression displeased, "That's how they were able to tap into your memories. I found the scar on you, Relena shortly after we got you back, though at the time I had no idea what caused it."

She pushed her chair back a fraction turning it slightly, "I found the same thing on you Heero," she said pointing a finger to indicate his right ear.

"So why haven't I suffered the headaches?" Relena questioned immediately, hand unconsciously moving to touch the skin behind her ear.

"That's where Zechs came in. I learned from Dante that it was actually Heero who removed you from the VR, he took the time to shut everything down and unhook you as it had been meant to be done. Zechs, on the other hand, wasn't that patient, and basically ripped Heero from the wiring and ran. That's how the damage happened," she looked directly at Heero, "I want it repaired."

"It'll have to wait until after," he wasn't about to sideline himself over something that wasn't life threatening.

She sighed, though she didn't look the least bit surprised, "I figured as much," she came to her feet then, "We'll arrange something for after. Now if you'll excuse me, I still have some patients I need to see to."

Heero watched her leave the room as quickly as she had entered it taking with her all the reservation and nerves he had been unable to escape until then. He shifted to the edge of his seat immediately intent on leaving, there was still much that needed to be done before they left for Freedom's Point but Relena's hand on his arm stopped him and he looked over to her seeing tears standing out in the corner of her eyes. "You took me out of VR?" she asked softly.

He nodded his head mutely wondering at her reaction.

"Did you kiss me?" her hand tightened on her arm, and he could feel a tremor run through her.

"Yes," again he nodded, remembering that day rather clearly.

She smiled radiantly throwing her arms around his neck in a tight hug. "I thought I had dreamed that!"

Thanks for Reading!

**Taking Leave**:

Sally swept a hand across the room, "I'm sure you know the pilots," a few select people within the agency actually knew they were the pilots. For the most part they had decided to keep that information to themselves but it helped to have a least a couple of people aware.

Tony smiled easily extending his hand first to Trowa then to Duo, "Been a while," he said nodding to Wufei who hadn't bothered to get to his feet, but nodded in return continuing to work.

"So you're the lucky commander Une chose to go with us," Duo chuckled actually coming into his feet easily concealing the small item he carried in his left hand.

"He's just lucky he doesn't have to try and control any of you," Une countered placing her cup of tea aside.

Kahlan glanced about the room calmly, "You were a little vague on the details Sally, is this some sort of strategy meeting?"

"Not exactly, I just wanted you to actually meet the men that you're going to be responsible for on this mission," she looked Duo's way, "There's actually one left, he is coming right?"

"Of course," Duo affirmed subtly shifting his position as he glanced down at his watch, "He should be here any second."

As though on perfect cue, the door to the room opened and Heero walked in, "What's this all about Duo?" he asked immediately as both Tony and Kahlan turned, their expressions a wild mix of shock, confusion and something else that just made it so hilarious.

Duo snapped the picture laughing the entire time, "Thanks man! Don't think that could have gone any better!" he continued to chuckle as he made his way back to his seat, all the while feeling Heero's glare on his back.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	67. Taking Leave

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Merry Early Christmas everyone! I know it's been a while, and who am I kidding it could be another while before the next post. I apologise for that, but I hope you can all understand that it's really out of my hands…I'd really rather not go into details.

I decided that I'd give you four chapters to make up for the previous delay and any that might come in the next couple of weeks!

This chapter has only been edited once by **morgansgirl **and I thank her for that! I'd like to thank my other two editors **Pious Knight** and **Featherbird** I'll get back into the swing of this I promise!

Since there's four chapters coming I won't be putting previews on the ends, at least on the last chapter I will, it take a little less time.

**jellybean-kitty**: Believe me if I could I would be way more consistent, but right now things are out of my hands I hope you can continue to be patient with me. Thanks so much for the review!

**D3**: About time we had a few of them I felt a little bad labelling the story as action/adventure since it takes so long to see some action. Thanks for the reviews!

**mangoyummy**: Thanks for the review, I'm glad you've been enjoying the story. As for Duo and Heero's friendship, there's a reason it's lacking as you say. Simply because of all they've gone through, I'm not sure if how I portray it later will be enough of a change but I like how it's gone so far. There's no mistake Duo's there for Heero at any time.

**Mini Nicka**: Thanks for the review, I enjoy writing Heero/Relena scenes a lot more now, since everything has smoothed out between them.

**Talitha Koum**: Thanks for the reviews! I think you'll get a glimps of Heero with kids when Duo brings his in to see Heero…I think that's going to happen at some point (laughs) kind of sad that I can't even say for sure. There's still so much to come in this story, I've had readers tell me not to end the story, and with neekabe whispering new ideas into my head…this just could truly become the never ending story. Thanks again! I hope you enjoy the next 4!

**Midnight's Falling Star**: Thanks for reviewing! I think Trowa surprised me a little when he came walking into the room, but it was fun (laughs) I hope you enjoy the 4 chapters! Thanks again!

**Mikinyet**: She always does, it might just take a lot of effort, thanks for the review!

**Lina**: Thanks so much! I hope you enjoy these chapters!

**Wufei-the-back-side-slayer**: I hope the wait was worth these 4 chapters, and I hope you can continue to be patient with me on the wait between chapters. Thanks for the review!

**gommeke**: Thanks so much! I wonder how happy 4 chapters will make you!

**Kreizuch**: Thanks for the review! I hope you enjoy these 4 chapters! The Warehouse was actually and idea that had occurred to me just before I got to that section in the story. I hadn't written anything about it years ago when I was first hand writing this story, but it was a lot of fun to write! I'm not actually sure if this 'Perfect Soldier' comes out in the mission, but it will come out. I don't know if you ever read the manga Ground Zero, or Blind Target, if you have that's how I imagine Heero to look right about now, Blind Target especially, he's really rather thin in that one, but as you say all muscle too. Thanks again!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing

**Taking Leave**

Two days until they left for Freedom's point, and Duo found himself lounging in the common room along with Trowa, Wufei and Une. Relena was in a series of small meetings at her house, her temporary guards testing the waters to make sure they could handle things while the pilots were gone. He wasn't exactly thrilled at the setup, but all things considered it was the best that they could do. Relena didn't have any major conferences for at least a week, regular agents could handle the smaller stuff without incident. He hoped they wouldn't be tied up with the Inner Circle for much longer than that, but it was hard to say right now.

His eyes scanned around the room from where he lay on one of the couches, the picture of comfort. Une accepted a cup of tea from Trowa with a smile of thanks while Wufei sat against the far wall cleaning and polishing his weapons as he often did before a mission. They were waiting for Sally, who was bringing two agents up to meet Heero, Duo smiled internally, this would definitely be interesting. There had been a lot of discussion about how and when this should be done, there was only two days left so it had to be done now. As for how, Duo had convinced them all to leave that in his hands.

"Where's Heero?" Une asked eyes looking to Duo.

"He'll be here," Duo answered finally pushing himself back to a sitting position, lavender eyes glancing at his watch, he had told Heero specifically to come at two thirty for a meeting, it was now ten minutes too. Knowing Heero he'd be right on time.

The door to the room opened and all eyes turned to watch Sally lead in two men, they were both tall, and in their early to mid thirties. Duo knew them both through previous missions, Tony a darker skinned man, was a troop commander, a very competent leader, the other Kahlan was a medic Sally had spent a great deal of time training. None of them to Duo's knowledge had actually worked with the tall redhead, but they had all heard of him through Sally.

Sally swept a hand across the room, "I'm sure you know the pilots," a few select people within the agency actually knew they were the pilots. For the most part they had decided to keep that information to themselves but it helped to have a least a couple of people aware.

Tony smiled easily extending his hand first to Trowa then to Duo, "Been a while," he said nodding to Wufei who hadn't bothered to get to his feet, but nodded in return continuing to work.

"So you're the lucky commander Une chose to go with us," Duo chuckled actually coming into his feet easily concealing the small item he carried in his left hand.

"He's just lucky he doesn't have to try and control any of you," Une countered placing her cup of tea aside.

Kahlan glanced about the room calmly, "You were a little vague on the details Sally, is this some sort of strategy meeting?"

"Not exactly, I just wanted you to actually meet the men that you're going to be responsible for on this mission," she looked Duo's way, "There's actually one left, he is coming right?"

"Of course," Duo affirmed subtly shifting his position as he glanced down at his watch, "He should be here any second."

As though on perfect cue, the door to the room opened and Heero walked in, "What's this all about Duo?" he asked immediately as both Tony and Kahlan turned, their expressions a wild mix of shock, confusion and something else that just made it so hilarious.

Duo snapped the picture laughing the entire time, "Thanks man! Don't think that could have gone any better!" he continued to chuckle as he made his way back to his seat, all the while feeling Heero's glare on his back.

WMWMWMW

Suppressing the need to sigh Heero focused his attention on the two new faces in the room, the ones he had obviously been brought to meet, he just really wished they wouldn't leave Duo to plan these things, he was still grinning like a damn fool. The two unfamiliar faces stood near to each other, neither was fool enough to draw a weapon against him, obviously if he had walked in here with Une present along with the other pilots they must have trusted him. But they did look extremely confused, an expression Heero knew he'd be seeing a lot of for the next little while, though he was going to do his best to remain invisible, no doubt word of him would spread.

"What the hell is this…" the brown eyed man asked, his black hair hung loosely about his face in loose curls.

"Could we all just take a seat for the moment?" Une asked her tone commanding them all to do just that.

Heero waited for the two men to take a seat along side Une before he lowered himself down between Duo and Trowa, Wufei remained seated against the wall, and Sally took the armchair at the head of the table. The female doctor moved to the edge of the seat, "Heero, this is Tony Irving, he'll be commanding the troops that go to Freedom's Point along with you."

He nodded his head watching the continual confused expression as Tony glanced about to all the people present in the room, after a moment's hesitation the older man extended his hand to Heero, which the pilot accepted. The other extended his hand immediately after, he was clearly as confused as Tony but appeared to find this fascinating. "And this is Kahlan Ells he's a medic I've personally trained to deal with you pilots, since I've agreed not to go, he'll be watching over you."

Duo leaned over the, the digital camera held tightly in his hand as he flashed the screen in front of Heero's eyes to show him the picture he had taken upon his entry. He shook his head still chuckling to himself.

"Alright," Une spoke sharply drawing all eyes to her, "First off the obvious, agent Yuy, isn't the traitor the world believes him to be."

"Or dead for that matter," Kahlan said looking at Heero as though seeing a ghost.

Heero couldn't fight back the sigh any longer, he pushed himself up and walked several paces away taking a seat on one of the bar stools, cobalt eyes watching from a distance. "He's been in deep cover with the Inner Circle," Une continued to explain eyes following him only so far, "That is until early last year. To maintain his cover we had to announce to the world that he had died."

"What, you're saying the attempt on Relena's life was all planned?" Tony asked in disbelief, "He's been working for you the entire time?"

Kahlan nodded his head in agreement, "No one's that good of an actor."

"It's what happened!" Heero barked, drawing all the eyes to him, "Obviously since I'm sitting here now," he looked away dropping the side of his head onto his upturned hand. This was all more of a headache than it was worth, he was beginning to wonder if there had been a way he could slip into the mission without announcing his presence to anyone. He knew immediately that wasn't possible, he just hoped he could keep the information from spreading too far, otherwise he'd be dealing with this every time he turned around.

Tony looked a little unsure as he slowly tore his eyes away from Heero, "Why the delay?" he asked Une, "Between when he came back and the mission?"

"There was three years worth of information to analyse, along side that agent Yuy had sustained some pretty significant injuries which he had to recover from." That caused Heero's eyes to narrow but he told himself it really was the only answer they could give to such a question, though even that reason might seem unreasonable to some people.

"So then it was you who built Zero for Dante?" Tony looked back directing his question Heero's way.

The former pilot mutely nodded his head, it wasn't that simple, nevertheless he wasn't interested in getting into the details with these men.

"Does that mean he's a member of the Inner Circle?" it was Kahlan who asked that.

"No," Une shook her head, "Dante's been cleared, and is working along side us to bring them down, though we have strong reasons to believe the Inner Circle has another version of Zero."

"It's not exactly functional," Heero told them before the questions could come, his memories were more than just hazy but he could remember some small parts, such as changing the controls around.

"But haven't they had it for over half a year?" Kahlan asked eyes pulling away from Heero to regard Une, "Could they not have made it functional in that time?"

"No doubt they've been working on it, but Heero doesn't believe it's likely," Une confirmed.

Heero nodded in agreement, for anyone who was looking, "The threat of it self-destructing at any moment hampers their progress."

Kahlan's eyes flew wide at that, but Une brought the attention of the room back to her, "It is imperative to this mission that the two of you know about agent Yuy, and are able to trust him."

"How on earth are you going to explain this to the news media?" Kahlan asked suddenly watching Une intently.

"When the time comes that they need to be informed I'll deal with it then, right now it hardly seems important," she folded her arms calmly across her chest regarding each man with a professional air. "What is important is whether or not can you put aside four years of propaganda and complete this mission," Une stated waiting for a reply.

Tony and Kahlan each looked towards Heero, brown and green eyes studying him intently. Heero watched them calmly interested to see what they'd say, it didn't really matter to him one way or the other if they could ever trust him, he had the trust of the people that mattered most and that was all that mattered. Raising his head from the hand it had been resting on Heero leveled them each with a steady look.

It was Tony who spoke first, his words thoughtful as he continued to study Heero though his eyes didn't exactly meet with the former pilot's eyes. "I'll admit not all of this is making sense to me, and it's a lot to take in, but I trust your judgment commander, and if you tell me agent Yuy is trust worthy that's all I need."

Kahlan nodded his head in agreement to what Tony had said, "I only have one concern, when are you going to tell the rest of the troops?"

"I wasn't exactly planning on making this public knowledge," Une admitted, and Heero knew exactly why, "You could see how it would cause more confusion than good."

"Is this to say we aren't to tell anyone?" Kahlan asked for clarification.

Heero wanted to tell him yes, but Une answered before him, "I leave that up to you Tony, I know more than just the two of you are going to need to know. But for the time being I know it would make the mission smoother if less people knew," she explained.

"What if he's seen?" Kahlan asked then.

"I won't be," Heero returned confidently, his plan was to go after Zero the minute they landed on Freedom's Point, it wasn't likely he'd be seen by anyone on their side. It didn't exactly matter with members of the Inner Circle.

"But if you were," he medic pressed shifting on the couch so he could see both Une in front of him and Heero off to the side. "Wouldn't it be easier to deal with it now, than face the possibility of an accidental shooting?"

"None of my men would be fool enough to shoot him on sight," Tony countered.

"I suppose not…" Kahlan agreed finally though he didn't seem completely convinced.

"I should be able to keep word of your being alive down to as few people as possible," Tony assured looking directly at Heero, "I doubt many people will believe without actually seeing, and no one beyond tech support really needs to know. I take it you'll be securing Zero during the mission?"

"That's the plan," Heero confirmed with a nod of his head.

Duo grinned wildly at that his digital camera still held tightly in his hand, "You sure even you can pilot it now?"

"I'll have a better chance than any one else," he replied dryly, trying to remember what of the controls he could, he knew it wasn't going to be a walk in the park, but not impossible either.

"Alright," Une said coming to her feet, "If there's nothing else, there are final mission briefs to go over and last minute preparations to get done." Both men came to their feet almost immediately and Heero watched as they made their way to the door, their eyes continued to flicker to him as they went but nothing else was said.

"Well that went as well as could be expected," Duo chuckled eyes studying the screen of his camera.

Heero just grunted and pulled a hand through his hair, feeling surprised at how he actually felt over having this first meeting out of the way. He knew immediately he would have greatly preferred to avoid it altogether, it didn't matter to him what the public thought, so long as his friends accepted him and he could be with Relena. But he had felt frustrated and annoyed by the questions, by having to bring up such a touchy subject for all of them, even if they had moved almost completely beyond it. Was this something he was going to have to deal with each and every time? If so, he didn't want to be a part of it.

Wufei got slowly to his feet stretching out his back as he did, "It'd go better if Duo wasn't so focused on having fun."

"Don't tell me you don't want a copy," he smiled crookedly completely undeterred.

"Entirely beside the point," Trowa filled in expressionless mask firmly in place.

The Japanese man merely shook his head, and got up from his seat, "Where're you going?" Wufei asked.

"Training…" he answered not really sure what he felt like doing, he just wanted to find something to fill the time, he hated waiting.

"You going to be done before Relena gets here?" Duo asked finally sounding a little more serious.

Heero nodded his head, "I should be," Relena had shown him that spending time with her was never boring, and considering the ache behind his right eye he certainly wouldn't have minded letting her massage the back of his neck.

WMWMWMW

Heero stood alone in his room late in the afternoon on the 28th of January, in only a matter of hours they'd be leaving Earth bound for Freedom's Point. It was the moment Heero had been waiting and struggling towards, it almost didn't seem like it could actually happen, but he refused to give into such thoughts. He only wanted to focus on his goal, one he could easily attain—the Inner Circle was going to fall.

In the rush of last minute preparations, p_roving _his existence to the few men and women who actually needed to know he was alive and on their side, Heero had managed not to forget a very important moment. Glancing over to the table resting across his simply made bed Heero made sure the gift he had purchased was still where he had left it carefully wrapped. Resting next to it was his duffle bag, at the moment he only wore jeans and a sweatshirt but Sally had had each of them fitted with new body armour, which was carefully packed away along with weaponry and various other necessities. It had been a while since he had such complete access to so many supplies, his goal was to travel light since in the end he was going to be in Zero for a lot of the mission, he didn't really need to be weighted down with a lot of guns.

The door behind him opened, the by now engrained knock alerting him seconds before Relena walked into the room. The expression on her face at first glance looked as bright and cheerful as always, but Heero saw immediately beyond that to the concern she was trying her hardest to conceal. He couldn't say he exactly understand where it had come from, he knew he could assure her until the end of time and it would never be enough but he no longer felt offended to have her concern either.

"Sorry I couldn't come earlier," she apologised throwing her arms around his neck, even as his own arms encircled her waist.

"It's alright," his arms loosened as he moved aside so she could see the gift on the table.

Relena blinked in surprise, looking up at him, "What's this?"

The former pilot hesitated then, not sure what Relena would think of his idea, "I read it's customary to give cut flowers…" he pulled a hand through his hair watching the smile blossom on her face as she tore away the paper. What was hidden underneath was a potted plant all green and beautiful with small white flowers sprouting all over.

"A Shamrock?" she asked her smile only brightening.

"I didn't want the flowers to die before I got back…" he explained though the words sounded stupid to him now that he was saying them. He had been researching online what sort of things he could do for Relena, that might not ease her mind about this mission but at least know he was thinking about her.

Relena threw her arms around his neck her shoulders shaking in silent delighted laughter, "What a thoughtful gift!" she whispered into his ear before tucking her head into the crook of his neck.

Heero hugged her tightly to him, trying not to think about the ache in his chest that was already forming at the thought of leaving her behind. He wasn't going to let it stop him, he needed to remain focused, nothing mattered beyond finishing this mission. Relena pulled back a little to look up at him, and he could see tears standing out on the edge of her eyes, and she nervously nibbled at the edge of her lip. It was a clear sign she was worried but trying her best to hide it. He claimed those trembling lips as his own and held her to him. He didn't know what he could do to assure her except to hold her close, she wasn't going to say anything to stop him, that much he was certain of.

"I can't wait for this to all be over," she said softly her fingers gently massaging at the back of his neck.

Heero's hands tightened gently on her arms, "I'll be fine," he assured.

She smiled up at him the expression looking slightly forced, "I believe in you," he had heard those words from her before, in a very similar situations. He believed them as much as he had back then, and was still surprised at the surge of emotions he felt at that rush through him. He didn't have names for them, though it felt very close to the sudden rush of adrenaline when he entered a battle. Leaning down Heero kissed her again, filling himself with her, taking as much as he could before he had to leave.

WMWMWMW

Shouldering his pack Heero stepped from the vehicle that had driven them to the spaceport. It was late in the day, only an hour until their shuttle left Earth bound for Freedom's Point. Heero had been surprised at how hard it had been for him to leave his room with Relena standing there. He had insisted that she not come with him to the spaceport, not wanting to have to say goodbye in such an open and potentially public area. She had been reluctant to agree at first, but after promising he'd contact her when and if her could she had let him go.

The hanger in which their shuttle waited was alive with last minute activity, theirs was the last to leave Earth. It was a far smaller shuttle than the mass troop carriers sent out long before, and because of that it could travel the distance to Dante's colony much faster. Tony and Kahlan would be riding along with the pilots, and Heero watched them board the shuttle as the other pilots climbed from the car. His cobalt eyes flickered about the hanger noting the men and women completing the last minute tasks before the shuttle would be ready to leave. Odd that he felt more exposed and unprotected here than he had wandering the streets of Sank, after having been introduced to Tony and Kahlan it had become clear to Heero that he really didn't want to be recognised.

Without a word the pilots formed up around him easily shielding him from view, with their taller stature and the baggage that they carried. Heero was half surprised not to see Sally on the shuttle when he finally walked aboard, though she had promised to remain behind he really did half expect her to show up anyways. He knew however that she'd make up for the lack of coming when they got back, but if he was lucky he'd be able to slip away before then. Within a matter of minutes they all had their stuff safely stowed away, in the over head compartments.

The shuttle though small was well equipped, and could easily accommodate the people on board for a long term trip. "You want to ride up front with me?" Duo asked slamming the compartments closed.

Heero mutely nodded his head, and followed behind the braided pilot as they walked into the cockpit. He lowered himself down into the co-pilot's seat feeling immediately relaxed in the familiar setting. He glanced over to Duo who was checking over systems, a pleased grin on his face, "I don't get to do this near enough anymore," he said leaning back in his seat. His hands stopped moving along the controls as he looked more critically at Heero, "I don't think you've said a word since we left the agency, what's on your mind?"

"Just focusing on the mission," he replied cobalt eyes looking back to the controls.

"Oh sure," Duo joked, "I'll bet you miss Relena already."

Heero silently raised an eyebrow at that not looking away from checking the gages, so what if he did miss her? What difference would that make to the mission? Duo laughed outright causing Heero to look over, "I know something that will cheer you up," he crowed, but before he could say more his attention was drawn away by the control tower.

Reaching for his own headset Heero kept the mike off and simply listened in on the conversation. He wasn't about to reveal himself to these random workers. He wasn't sure how many agents knew of his existence. Tony had tried to keep it down to as few as possible but you could never fully control gossip. It was a little surprising to Heero just how much he wanted to remain anonymous in all this, and it wasn't just that he didn't want to deal with the same questions every time someone found out he wasn't dead. Heero just didn't care to clear his name to the world, he had regained the trust of the people he had wanted to be with most, anything after that was just a headache.

As he waited checking off his own systems without being asked, their shuttle was slowly making its way out of the hanger to the launch pad. Heero took a moment to strap himself in, his hands knowing without having to look just were the latches would be. He wondered for a moment at what Duo had been going to say before they were interrupted, though it didn't take much to guess what he had been about to say next. No doubt Ash would be waiting at the port as soon as they arrived, would that cheer him up? Did he even need to be 'cheered' up? Heero hadn't thought so, nevertheless the news that Ash would be there wasn't unwelcome. He hadn't seen his friend since August though they had spoken online several times.

Heero couldn't deny at least to himself—that he wasn't looking forward to standing in front of Ash completely sound and ready to end this mission. He wouldn't be the least way surprised if Ash opened the conversation with the same question he had been pestering Heero with for half a year. He didn't expect to answer it even now when he was completely fine, but that was simply more to just irritate the man than anything else.

The shuttle's engines hummed to life with a deep familiar sound that easily faded into the background for Heero, he remained aware of it enough to notice if anything sounded off. Duo slipped the headset down to his neck and glanced over to Heero as their shuttle slowly coasted down the runway nearing the launch pad. "What was I saying?" he asked with a laugh.

"That Ash would be meeting us at the space port," Heero responded in a monotone.

Duo laughed again, "Yeah not much of a surprise I guess, he and I are planning on going with you into the bunker."

Heero's brow drew together at that, "That won't be necessary."

"Figured you'd say something like that, but think of it this way, the less Inner Circle members you have to deal with the faster you can get to Zero." He leaned back in his seat finally strapping himself in, "We all know having Zero loose in the colony offers us a major advantage."

There was no denying that, and so long as they weren't coming out of some fear that he couldn't handle this on his own, Heero would remain silent on the matter.

"Zechs showed me the schematics you sent him, before I left…" Duo continued flipping some switches in front of him before his hands found their way to the stick, his fingers running lightly over it, "How on earth did you do that?"

Heero gave Duo a blank stare, having no clear idea what he friend was talking about.

"You don't remember…" Duo surmised a moment later, "Guess I shouldn't be surprised," he shrugged as much as he could restrained as he was, "You somehow managed to send him a message while you were still in VR."

That sparked a very faded memory, more like a dream to tell the truth, too warped to actually take firm hold of. Heero shook his head, not liking the feel of remembering something like that, "I'll take your word for it."

Thanks for Reading!

Morganeth Taren'drel


	68. The Inner Circle

**Mistaken Words**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gundam Wing

**The Inner Circle**

Dante sat quietly in front of his desk, eyes watching the vid-screen as it flickered on, responding to his touch. It was late at nightand he had been expecting this call from Une, the mission had already commenced on Earth it would only be a matter of hours before it began here too.

"The last shuttle has just left the Earth's atmosphere," Une announced, her voice serious but her face relaxed if only for him. "The rest have been disguised as freighters bringing in the constructions supplies that you ordered."

"Good that should keep this quiet at least for a little while," he replied. This was not going to be an easy mission, they had discussed all their options many times, but it always came back to the fact that there was simply no easy way to root out the Inner Circle at least not without a house by house search. Une had sent enough troops to accomplish this, and with the help of Zero, Dante doubted it would go smoothly but hopefully they could avoid too much bloodshed.

"When do you plan to round up the members that we're sure of?" Une asked him then.

Dante leaned back in his chair, "I have a special group taking care of that, Ash has been overseeing it for me. They'll be held in containment, until you arrive," at which time Dante knew…

"We'll be more than willing to take them off your hands," it was as though Une finished his thoughts for him. "What sort of resistance are you expecting when you place the colony in lockdown?" This tactic would be the easiest way to keep innocent people out of harms way, but they all knew it wouldn't go over well with the general populus.

"With your agents arriving in the early hours of the morning, I don't expect any immediate problems," he responded, know that they'd have to move quickly. "I've never had to do this before, the people could very well revolt, they've become accustom to a lot of freedom."

"Zero ought to help with that," Une spoke in a sardonic tone.

"If Heero can pilot it," Dante shook his head remembering back to the trouble they had had when Heero had built on for them. It amazed him at how long ago that had actually been, and how much everything had changed in that time.

"Although he doesn't remember much from that time, he sounded fairly confident that it wouldn't be a problem," she shifted in her seat folding her fingers together before her. Dante noticed the slight wrinkle to her brow that wasn't usually there, it seemed to him a sign that she was concerned even if she wasn't willing to voice it aloud.

Dante leaned a little more closely to the screen wanting to offer some comfort without making it too obvious, he knew that wasn't what Une wanted, "He's amazed us before."

"How has the citizenry reacted to the lock down?" Une asked, quickly changing subject, "Has there been any problems?"

"Nothing serious so far," Dante stroked his chin, "Over the last few weeks I've put the colony through the lockdown several times to get them used to it, in case of a catastrophic failure of any of the main life support systems the lockdown could well save thousands of lives."

Une's lips turned up a hair at that, "Put it like that and no one can refuse."

"For the most part, I wouldn't say it's particularly gone smoothly, but at the same time my citizens haven't been rioting in the streets either."

"Always a good sign," Une agreed softly.

"Indeed," he nodded his head a thought occurring to him that he hadn't thought to ask before, "Do the pilots intend to be here until the mission has ended?" Knowing how hard it could be to route out ever last member of the Inner Circle Dante hoped that wasn't the case. With the agents Une had sent after the initial assault they'd be able to rotate them, but Dante had a feeling the pilots were a little too 'hands on' to go along with that.

"They ought to be there until the first assault is complete, this being Heero's first mission back, recovered fully or not, I don't want him gone the entire time. And neither does Sally." They hadn't actually brought this up with the pilots, but both Tony and Kahlan knew when it was time to send the pilots back to earth. "Although I don't have an exact idea for the time, I imagine it'll be a few days."

"When are you planning on making the announcement?" No doubt the news of the strike on the Inner Circle would catch the ESUN by surprise, they had all done their best to keep it out of the news. "When the mission commences I've arrange for the lines of communication to be tied, to keep this from becoming common knowledge before you're ready."

Une smiled, "I was planning on waiting until the pilots had returned, around that time the mission ought to be all but cleaned up, seems the best time to let the ESUN know we've saved their peace again."

"Have you thought at all about what you're planning on saying?" Dante knew immediately that this announcement no matter what form it came in or however well worded was going to cause a media frenzy.

"Yes I've been working on it," she confirmed though that crease in her brow returned, "I'll want heavy security in the media room I think. The announcement of the attack on the Inner Circle won't stir things up as much as the news that Heero Yuy is in fact alive, and not a traitor."

"No doubt," Dante could still remember clearly how he had felt when the news had been delivered to him, it had been a stunned couple of minutes. What helped—however little—was the fact that Heero lay before him in the bed, alive and surrounded by his friends. "Are you planning on having Heero present for the conference?"

The female commander shook her head, "I'd like him back on earth but I doubt he'd agree to such publicity for anything."

"He's a very private man, I wonder what he thinks of having his name cleared…" to Dante's way of thinking it would certainly be something Heero would want, to feel free of those last four years of his life, to know he had walked away and won.

"From what I gather from the other pilots, he doesn't seem to care all that much, I hesitate to think he might actually want to remain dead."

"You think he might fight against the releasing of your statement?" that didn't seem entirely rational to Dante.

Une shrugged, "I don't really know yet, I haven't bothered to bring it up with him directly."

"I suppose leaving him less time to think about it might be better…" Dante didn't sound entirely convinced he knew but he trusted Une's judgment.

"John's proven to me, when dealing with Heero less time to think and fight actually works rather well," the curve to her lips appeared ever so slightly evil and Dante wished she were literally as close to him as she looked right now, he desperately wanted to kiss those lips. "I fully intend on having him present when I tell Heero. That ought to help a little."

Dante chuckled softly, "You can hope at least," he made no pretences to knowing Heero as well as any of them, but it sounded to him as though no matter how they approach this it wasn't going to go over well.

WMWMWMW

Heero stood from the co-pilots seat, his muscles feeling a little tight from the ride over but the kinks quickly worked themselves out as he moved into the main body of the shuttle where the others were beginning to prepare. One of the main troop transports had landed a head of them, the agents inside were already busy securing the personnel in the port. This would be one of their four main bases of operation, three other troop transports had been sent to the other ports on Freedom's Point all disguised as cargo ships carry necessary repair supplies Dante had ordered to repair some major systems on the colony.

"You sleep at all?" Trowa asked softly as he came to where his gear had been placed, no doubt by his taller friend.

"Yeah a little," it had been hard to relax his mind enough for sleep, his body already wanted to go into mission mode. That meant spending six hours where he could do nothing but feel like perching on the edge of his seat ready for absolutely anything, the adrenaline already flowing into his system though it wasn't a constant rush. But it was enough to make sleep near impossible. He didn't feel at a disadvantage to have not slept most of the way over, he had gone far longer times without sleep, this wouldn't be a problem.

"I understand you'll all be splitting up?" Kahlan spoke up then eyeing each of them intently as they got into the gear they had been issued.

"Sooner or later," Duo confirmed his tone light as he pulled the end of his braid loose from the Kevlar coat he had just shrugged into.

"Sally thought as much," he continued leaning casually against the wall, "Which is why she asked me to wait here for any of you to return injured, there are more than enough medics out there as is. None of them are really equipped to deal with you pilots, so if any of you are hurt during the mission you're to be brought directly back here, if that's possible."

Heero studied the man silently through the corner of one eye, feeling like he was seeing the young medic for the first time. Truth be told he didn't look quite so young just now, his expression remained friendly but there was a distinct authoritative tone behind that half smile. That almost reminded Heero of Sally, perhaps she had taught him better than any of them had first given credit.

"And just what makes you think you're better off" Duo asked with a crooked grin, buckling a gun to his thigh.

"Now telling you that might well remove my advantage so just try and not get injured and we'll get along just fine."

"Sounds like Sally…" Wufei muttered under his breath.

Kahlan laughed clapping his hands together as he did, "She taught me well," he confirmed.

"But you've not been able to try any of it out yet…" Trowa pointed out while straightening out his gear making sure everything was settled into place. Heero noted the slight grimace that passed across the taller man's face. Trowa was used to complete freedom of movement, and although this new body armour was more flexible than what they had had to use in the past, Heero didn't think Trowa really liked it all that much. He wondered how long it would be until his friend had shrugged some of it off.

The medic merely shrugged at that, his expression losing none of it cockiness.

Placing the com device into his ear and securing it into place, Heero flipped the small screen down over his left eye testing to see if it would interrupt his vision. They had originally been intended for the right eye, but Heero hadn't wanted to risk what that might do for his headaches if they became particularly rough. So he had done a little rewiring and managed to set it for his left side, the distance was good, able to easily see what was being projected into his eye. He switched the system on completely as he moved to walk out of the shuttle.

Greeted with an instant of static before the signal cleared, a welcoming voice spoke into his ear, "Good morning agent Yuy, I'm agent Eimz I'll be your central point of communication during the first stage of the mission."

Heero cobalt eyes glanced around the hanger that was now fully secured by the Earth Defence Corp. Already they had several members of the Inner Circle detained those that Ash had rounded up, and the ones they had discovered from their search of the port's personal. "How many of you will there be?" he asked gruffly jumping down from the shuttle.

"Two sir, myself and agent Gorren will be taking shifts," Eimz's informed immediately.

That was acceptable, Tony had assured him he'd keep the knowledge of his presence to as few members as possible. "Eimz," he spoke the young man's last name softly, "Try to avoid using mine," the last thing he wanted was to have him slip up and tell someone who wasn't supposed to know.

"Of course sir," the agent agreed immediately, "Tony has informed me that you intend to secure Zero. I've already hooked into the colony's main system Dante gave us free reign, just let me know what you need."

"Unless the location of Zero has changed I won't be needing anything for a little while," he informed his eyes searching out Ash's location, Duo had said he would be there. Heero was half surprised he hadn't been pounding on the shuttle door when they first landed. Flipping the screen away from his eye Heero started making a more detailed sweep. Trying to tell himself he wasn't disappointed by the fact that Ash hadn't been at the exit the minute he appeared.

"Hey!" a familiar voice shouted from behind, and had the sense enough not to call his name, "Wondered where you were hiding," Ash chuckled coming up to him. His usual large smile was plastered on his face, it was only diminished a little by the dark rings under Ash's eyes, he had already been at this for a while.

"How long have you been at this?" he asked, walking with Ash back towards the shuttle where Duo and the others were emerging.

"What's this?" Ash barked a laugh, "Is that concern I hear in your voice?"

Heero's eyes narrowed as he grunted deigning not to give that an actual reply.

Ash's hazel eyes sparkled, "I'm touched! No one's going to believe me." His mirth subsided slowly, as he took a closer look at Heero, eyes scanning up and down him slowly, "That's quite the uniform you've going there."

"We've got one for you too," he said silently glad at the change of subject, "It's on the shuttle."

"Duo told you I'll be coming with you to get Zero?" Ash asked, his mind changing subjects as quick as some people flipped channels, at least in this case there was some small connection to follow.

"If you can stay awake," Heero returned evenly.

Ash stopped walking looking rather hurt, but the former pilot could see he was fighting a smile from breaking through. "Says the man who refuses to sleep, and still thinks he can finish a mission."

"I've got precedence to say I can," he countered an eye brow raising slightly on his forehead as though to dare Ash to come up with another argument.

His friend just laughed however, "It's good to have you back," he said face taking on a slightly more serious cast. "You're looking a hell of a lot better, just about the way I remember you," his lips turned up again then, "Could stand to put on a little more weight though."

Again Heero choose not to answer nor did he even bother shaking his head in reply, knowing ignoring Ash was the most effective strategy available. Duo was waiting outside the shuttle when they finally arrived. He greeted Ash with a jovial smile and extended his hand, "C'mon in we've got some nice toys for you."

Ash rubbed his hands together in glee, as he followed the braided man into the shuttle. Trowa and Wufei exited a moment later and Heero stepped up to them, "Which sectors are you heading to?" he asked.

"I'll be going to sector four with Kaylan's group," Wufei answered adjusting the slash proof gloves he wore, "It's a heavily residential area, ought to be slow going."

"I've got sector one I've worked with Tony before," Trowa told him simply.

"Duo's covering sector three, once you have Zero," the Chinese man continued, "That'll basically fill in the rest."

Heero wasn't so confident as he outwardly showed, he had little to no memory of the creation of Zero. And wasn't even sure it would be a functioning unit, according to Zechs when he had come to get him out, the Gundam had consisted of numerous boxes. Which meant they hadn't even had him in their possession while trying to assemble the Gundam, that left any number of variables completely unaccounted for. But despite that Heero was determined to be an active part in this mission, and the best place for him to be was in control of Zero.

"Eimz, do you have a reading on the number of people on this colony?"

"I've got heat reading for roughly ten thousand," he responded immediately, "Not including our troops."

"Do you have any readings on the bunker connected to this port?" he doubted it, but it couldn't hurt to know how many they were up against.

"No…" Eimz breathed, "I can see it on our schematics but I'm not getting anything from it."

"Too well shielded…" Heero wasn't surprised by that, "It's not even listed on the normal schematics for the colony

"That's were you're heading sir?"

"Yeah,"

"Do you think the radios will work in there?" Wufei asked.

"Not much we can do if they don't," he shrugged his right shoulder without thought.

"These radio's ought to work in there," Ash confirmed stepping out of the shuttle now fully dressed in the same combat gear they all wore. He placed the ear piece into his right ear smiling at the screen that flipped down over his eye, "I hope you know you're not getting this stuff back," he chuckled.

A ghost of a smile lit Trowa's face faintly as he looked over to Tony who was approaching their group. "Is everything in place?" he asked receiving an immediate nod of confirmation from the commanding officer.

"Alright, keep in touch," Wufei said firmly flipping the screen down in front of his eye as he moved off towards his transport that would take him to his sector. Trowa did the same a brief nod to the others before he headed back with Tony.

Heero drew in a quiet breath, and without a word to the two standing on either side of him strode towards the hatch that would lead them into the Inner Circle's bunker. He felt energy ignite within him, a traveling shock that awoke every part of him, bringing him to a higher state of alertness. He wouldn't have been able to stand around for a moment longer, if Tony hadn't been ready Heero knew he would have just left on his own determined to get this mission underway.

"Is Dante planning on making a statement to the colony?" Duo asked as they rounded a series of cargo boxes to find the unassuming hatch shut tightly. "That would alert the Inner Circle, but it might be safer for the rest of the civilians."

Ash nodded his head, "He's got a statement prepared, I doubt it'll help a lot, but it'll look better when the rest of the ESUN catches wind of this."

"Got to keep on the up and up," the braided pilot chuckled as he crouched to help Heero with the heavy trap door.

"Unfortunately, takes more time that way," Ash knelt beside the opening looking down inside, "Been a while since I've been here…" he glanced at Heero, but the Japanese man didn't bother meeting his eyes. Hearing the slight undercurrent of guilt in his voice, he didn't want to dwell on the past.

Heero stepped onto the metal rung latter and quickly climbed down dropping the last of the distance so he wouldn't be caught off guard. He crouched low gun drawn in his hand aiming steadily down the hall as both Ash and Duo followed behind. Despite the realism the agency attempted to put into the Warehouse, there really was no comparison with reality.

"Eimz, do you read?" he asked softly.

"Loud and clear," came the reply.

Nodding silently to himself he cast a brief glance to the others before starting forward down the hall, his feet carrying him silently towards the first intersection. "How do you want to play this?" Duo asked softly.

"I'm heading for Zero," Heero responded confidently.

Thanks for Reading!

Morganeth Taren'drel


	69. Zero

**Mistaken Words**

**Disclaimer**: I still don't own Gundam Wing

**Zero**

"Alone?!" Duo demanded softly lavender eyes narrowing, "Why the hell do you think we came down here?!"

"To arrest the members of the Inner Circle," he responded calmly, "I need to get to Zero." He wasn't going to let them hold him back from pulling his fair share on this mission.

"There's got to be a better way we can do this," Ash countered.

Heero shook his head, "We want this done fast it's the best way," glancing down the hall to his right Heero knew that would lead him towards the main hanger were Zero was kept.

Although it was clear he wanted to argue with that at least a little Duo finally nodded his head, seeing the sense in Heero's plan of attack. "Alright, but keep in touch," he motioned towards the other side of the hall, "I'll go left you take right with Ash. Once everyone's been secured we'll bring in more troops to take everyone back up."

"I'll go first," he told Ash softly, watching as his friend attempted to protest, but he spoke over him, "You'll need to secure any members in the rooms, I can take anyone I find, it's the best way."

"Alright, I've got your back," he nodded once and waited just beyond the corner as Heero shifted down the hall.

Heero's progression down the corridor was slow and cautious, his ears straining to hear anything that might come from one of the rooms. Knowing Ash had his back was a relieving thought, allowing him to focus one what came beyond this hall. To his right a door suddenly opened and Heero was plastering himself against the wall "Ash," he spoke his friends name pausing but a second, knowing Eimz would patch him directly through, "Hold your position."

The man was unaware of his presence behind him, and Heero took complete advantage of it, striking the man across the base of his neck with the butt of his gun. While his left arm reached out to catch the man as he silently fell. Making as little noise as possible, Heero dragged the limp man back into his small quarters and stretched him out in the center of the room. Kneeling down beside him, Heero fished through the satchel he had slung across his chest and removed a pair of zip cuffs which he quickly used to secure the man's hands behind his back. Heero didn't even bother checking to make sure the man bore the phoenix brand, the fact alone that he was within this extensive bunker was proof enough.

He made a quick sweep of the quarters before returning to the hall, signalling Ash with his hand before continuing down to the next bend. Now that he was out of sight he knew Ash would begin his room by room search. It would take a painstaking amount of time, and perhaps they should have brought more men with them but as it was Heero felt confident. "Duo," again the pause, "Status?" he whispered softly.

"Five hostils detained," he returned just as softly but chuckled sardonically, "They didn't see this one coming." Heero could clearly hear the vicious grin in his friends voice.

"I'm proceeding to Zero," he rounded the corner and hung close to the left wall as he inched his was towards the very solid metal doors that were the last barrier between himself and the Gundam he had been forced to help them build. When he was about three quarters there, the door suddenly opened and Heero dropped into a defensive crouch gun training in on the man who had unexpectedly walked out into the hall. "Don't make a sound," he warned in even tones, the man had frozen on the threshold and Heero motioned for him to step towards him.

The man reluctantly complied the heavy door finally closing behind them, protecting them if only for a few moments. Heero closed the distance quickly gun never wavering from its target, a fact the man standing before him—arms half raised away from his body—hadn't missed. "How many are in there?" he demanded, watching as the man took a closer look at his face blue eyes going wide in surprise.

"You're dead…" he blurted before he could thing better of it, and paled visibly when he saw Heero finger tighten on the trigger.

"How many?" he pressed again.

"Three…"

"And how many down here altogether?" that was info they could all use if neither Duo nor Ash had extracted it yet.

The man appeared to consider not answering, but his defiance only lasted a moment before an obvious tremor could be seen running through his limbs. "Twenty-six…" he mumbled.

"Turn around, and get down on your knees," Heero instructed right hand remaining steady on the gun, while his left sought out another pair of zip cuffs. "What's the code to open the door?" he asked then noting the mans reluctance to comply, but the barrel of the gun pressed into the base of his neck was enough to get him moving

"Pound…842…" he grudgingly explained. Heero nodded to himself securing the man safely, Heero ended the ordeal exactly as he had the one before, dropping him into the blissful darkness of unconsciousness. Placing the body securely in the corner by the door Heero proceeded to the keypad.

"Eimz, did you get that?" he asked referring to the number of Inner Circle in the bunker.

"I did, and both agent Maxwell and Ash know," Eimz confirmed, "According to info from the both of them, there's eight more still unaccounted for."

"Are you including the three in the hanger?"

"No I heard about them too," an observant agent, that pleased Heero.

Refocusing himself Heero leaned close to the wall and pressed the necessary buttons on the keypad, raising his gun up before him. He would have liked to handle this as quietly as possible but knew there was a good chance someone inside had become aware of his presence. The doors slid apart revealing the massive room beyond, making a quick scan of his immediate area, Heero ducked into the room securing himself a position behind a massive crate. No one had seen him enter but by the same token he had not idea where the men inside were.

In the huge room Heero could feel the looming presence of Zero, but kept his eyes focused on the area around him, not wanting to be caught off guard. He could hear voices speaking off to his left and he moved towards them remaining in cover until he could lay his eyes on them. The closer he came to the location of the men, the more their conversation became clear to Heero.

"Fuck," one male voice obviously concerned.

"What is it?" another rougher voice asked.

"Dante just made a general announcement," Heero leaned around the corner to see if all three men were standing there, he was in luck.

"Has the curfew been lifted?" a blond man asked.

"Hell no!" the first barked, "The Earth Defence Corp, has taken over the colony in order to weed us out."

"Shit! When did this happen?!" the first a brunnet asked, sounding immediately cagey.

An older man with grey touching at his temples wore a headset on one ear his right hand pressed against it, "About an hour ago," he informed darkly.

"How the hell did they find out about us?" it was a rhetorical question, but Heero didn't decide to give any of them a chance to answer.

"Through me…" he ground out stepping from his concealment, now that he was positive all three men were in close proximity to each other. "Don't move," he warned taking a few steps towards them, the older man turned towards him both hands moving away from his body, as his eyes went wide with shock.

"You're supposed to be dead," the other two looked at him a little confused obviously not immediately recognising him, not that he would have answered their comments if they had.

He nodded his head towards the wall, "Move, hands in plain sight." Apparently that was too difficult a concept for the blond, as he made to reach for something on the desk beside him. Heero didn't wait to see what it was, but fired aiming for the edge of the man's arm. He wanted to make his point but not cause serious damage. The man cried out in pain, and the other two jumped in shock, "Against the wall," he growled. This time they complied shifting to the wall and placing their hands on it.

Taking a few minutes to cuff their hands, Heero scanned the room just to be sure there was no one else. "Eimz, let them know the three are secured," he commented striding towards the cat walks that crossed before the Gundam. He hadn't yet let himself look at it, and he wasn't entirely sure why, in no time he was going to be seated within it, and would no doubt be there for sometime.

Heero climbed the stairs and ladders with determined strides making his way up to the cockpit, it wasn't until he reached his destination that Heero finally looked straight at the object his mind had created. There was with a strange sense of excitement as Heero looked upon the closed cockpit of Zero, the smooth Gundanium reflecting the lights with a brilliant shine he wouldn't have expected them to be concerned with. It felt vaguely wrong to Heero, to be excited to see the tool of war, a weapon he had created against his will. A Gundam that could well destroy the peace he had given so much to bring about.

His eyes narrowed as he reached a hand out towards the closed hatch of the Gundam, he was going to take this weapon they had built to destroy the ESUN, and use it to destroy them. Without needing to look Heero triggered the switch that would open the Gundam and moved aside taking a moment to glance down on the men he had secured. "Eimz has everyone been secured?" he asked pulling his attention back to the darkened cockpit.

"Yes Sir, Ash just secured the last man, they've called in for more troops now," the tech confirmed.

Ducking inside Zero, Heero turned around and lowered himself into the seat, settling back as the hatch closed behind him and he began to turn systems on. "Let them know I've secured Zero," he informed, more of his attention directed at what he was doing. Duo had mentioned that the controls of the first Zero he had built had been screwed up, try as he might to remember anything from that time, it was just all too vague, but he wasn't about to dive blindly into this, he wanted to know how the systems had been configured. Everything was so familiar beneath his fingers, just as an unknown ache left his chest when Relena came into his arms, so too did an emptiness feel a little fuller sitting within Zero.

WMWMWMW

Wufei swept the cold water from his face taking a brief moment to refresh himself after the few hours of sleep he'd allowed himself once the mission had begun. The first few hours had been more than a little tentative for all the troops, the were basically walking into a mine field with no way of knowing at a glance who the enemy was. It had slowed things down more than many agents had expected, but Wufei had known it would be an up hill battle the entire way, and they had met a fair deal of resistance to that effect already.

He certainly didn't blame the citizens of Freedoms Point for being outraged by this 'invasion' not even Dante's near constant reassurances were enough to beat down the fires threatening to ignite everywhere. The minute Zero appeared on the colony's surface however, matters shifted in their favour. That they held control to a working Gundam didn't really leave anyone with an argument against the continued search. Wufei didn't believe for a minute that Zero would stop the Inner Circle from burying deeper and fighting against the destruction of their organization. He would have been shocked if it had.

Wufei stepped from their 'base', the main hanger had become the agency's central command centre but each sector had a base of operations, they had found reasonable facilities in a reception hall. Defendable if the need should arise and had enough space to house—if not comfortably—their equipment and personnel so they could find some rest between shifts. Stepping out into the artificial light, Wufei looked around at the men moving about the troop transport vehicles. Their orders in hand, they moved off to the next target where the numbers would go down a little more. With each building they cleared a few agents were left behind just to maintain the peace so a riot wouldn't form behind them that the Inner Circle could use to their advantage. To minimize the risk to the agents Dante had set the lights of the colony, never allowing them to turn off completely, they dimmed slightly to signify the end of a day but there wasn't really a night.

The ground beneath his feet rumbled in a familiar way as Wufei slipped his earpiece into place and turned around to see Zero take up position in the center of the street. It had taken Heero several hours to get Zero working properly before he had been able to bring it to the surface as a very useful backup. Arguments against the occupation had gone down drastically at the sight of the Gundam. "Kevin," he spoke the name of his tech softly knowing he didn't need to raise his voice to be heard, "Patch me through to Gorren," the two techs working as a cover for Heero had switched off in the late hours of the night.

"Right away sir," Kevin answered immediately.

And after a momentary silence, "What can I do for you sir?"

"How's he doing?" he asked knowing there was no need to use names as he stared up at the imposing Gundam.

"He configured the systems and has everything up and running," Gorren informed.

"This includes the ZERO System?" Wufei asked, feeling a little concern at that, he could see how the program could well help them, but he was also familiar—if not first hand—with what it could do. It was a stress he'd prefer Heero to avoid considering this was his first time back out, though he wasn't about to make that public knowing exactly how Heero would take the suggestion.

"Yes sir, he's already been putting it to use."

"Great," Wufei didn't bother trying to disguise his sigh, "Can you patch me through to him?"

"Yes sir," Gorren did so immediately.

"Wufei," Heero's voice greeted smoothly and from where he stood the Chinese man knew his friend was watching him.

"You taken a break yet?" he doubted the question would be well appreciated but asked it all the same, covering his ass as much as his friends', for when they returned to Sally.

There was a brief moment of silence, "I'm not exactly doing much," Heero contended answering without really saying so, that he hadn't.

"You have supplies up there?" he had been pretty sure Heero had left the shuttle with rations and water enough to cover a couple of days, but wanted to be sure.

"Stop worrying," was the dry reply.

Wufei raised his hands in a sign of peace, "Just watching your back for you," he placated with a smile Heero no doubt could see from his high vantage point.

"Hn, that's supposed to be my job."

"Fair enough," Heero's attention was divided between all sectors of the colony, he could be called at any moment to a critical area and either defuse a boiling situation, and using Zero search out the best outcome for the confrontations. Despite what Heero claimed Wufei knew it was a lot of work.

Turning back to the transport Wufei saw that most of the agents had moved off to continue their work, all that was left were the men who would be accompanying him to the apartment complex they were to clear next. "Let's move out," he announced climbing into the passenger side of the lead vehicle.

Ty quickly moved the truck into drive and pulled away, his brown eyes on the empty street before them but Wufei could feel his attention was not entirely on it. "Who's in the Gundam sir?" he asked after a moment his eyes flickering to Wufei before returning to the road.

"One of the men who built it," he answered keeping it vague, "Why?"

"I understand no ones heard from him, just Eimz and Gorren…"

"And that seems odd to you?" Wufei returned with a raised eyebrow, now was not the time to drop Heero's name around the agents, it would be too much of a distraction to all of them. With Eimz and Gorren running interference they could relay any information Heero had to the people who needed it while keeping his name and voice out of it.

Ty straightened a little at the questioning tone, "Just seems like an unnecessary extra step, sir."

"Hmm," Wufei mused quietly, his onyx eyes glancing at the building they passed with numerous eyes watching them from their windows, constant patrols of agents maintained the peace through areas already searched, and those that were waiting. If the Inner Circle were doing anything to prepare themselves or put a stop to this they hadn't seen any evidence of it. A fact Wufei wasn't exactly comfortable with, somehow he highly doubted they were prepared to just roll over and be taken down. Keeping that in mind they had found a surprising number of member from the Inner Circle in just the first day, although it wasn't entirely a shock considering what the Inner Circle had managed to do in under a year. "Keep yourself focused on the task at hand, Eimz and Gorren make it easier to contact more people at one time if the pilot has important news."

Whether or not Ty was satisfied with the answer he didn't get a chance to say, they had reached their destination and it was now time to focus on the task at hand. The apartment complex the stood outside was one of the largest, and Wufei saw the greater part of their day being spent clearing all the people living within. Climbing from the truck Wufei spoke into the mike by his mouth, "I want all exits surrounded, Team B what's your status?" he asked already hearing their approach.

Dante had given them the use of the colony's helicopters offering them easy access to rooftops to stop potential escape of Inner Circle members. "We're taking the roof now," Cole answered over the roar of the rotors.

"Let me know when you're all in position," was the order that had been directed at all his men.

Wufei looked up at the complex feeling the energy radiating from the men behind him as they waited to enter. "Back exits covered," a crisp voice announced.

"We have control of the roof," Cole confirmed.

"We're in position in the side alley," the last of his men checked in, and Wufei nodded to those standing behind him, with a gesture of his hand they ascended the stairs pushing their way into the lobby.

"Kevin, shut down the elevators," he ordered moving towards one of the two service staircases.

"It's already been done, I've locked down each floor, the emergency escapes won't be opened until you reach them."

"Good," his team split into three groups, two large and one small who would remain behind for the time to watch the lobby. Wufei took his men towards the right staircase, while Ty took the left, "Cole," he spoke the man's name giving Kevin a second to directly connect them.

"Sir," was his answer, the man completely ready.

"Start your men down keep me informed," he ordered, moving quickly up the stairs out of habit securing each landing not that they expected to find anyone. But it was the minute they left themselves open that tragedy would happen.

WMWMWMW

Heero shifted within his seat, it was larger than he remembered it being back during the war, but still just as hauntingly comfortable. He was not nearly so relaxed as he had once been sitting within Zero. At that time he had been facing impending battles against other suits and mobile dolls. Heero wasn't entirely sure if this wasn't at least as dangerous if not more so. There was something different about the ZERO system than what he remembered, and there were moments where he had vague flashes of memory? Where he had changed something in the programs…

He wasn't at all sure, but how the system behaved was dangerous and harder to maintain, to control, and with so many small 'skirmishes' taking place all of the colony, the system was still insistent on winning them all. Heero did what he could with the information to predict the safest outcomes for the agents putting their lives on the line. His eyes scanned over the three screens in front of him, one directly before his cobalt eyes the other two on either side. They were entirely lit tracking the progress of just about every agent out there.

Despite what he had said to Wufei, this was hard work, but he knew he could handle it if he could just remain in control of ZERO, not let it over run him as it had once or twice in the past. Eimz and Gorren had proven themselves indispensable in the short time he had worked with them, both competent and fast acting they almost predicted his needs. Through them he delivered the necessary information to protect the agents lives. If there had been any confusion caused by this, Heero hadn't heard anything about it.

He hadn't had too much contact with the others since he had attained Zero, leaving them to focus on their part in this mission, so long as they weren't obviously worrying over him, he was fine with all of it. Taking a drink from one of the water bottles he had brought with him for his extended stay in Zero, he refocused his attention on the men entering buildings all over the colony, fighting to remain in control of the system.

WMWMWMW

Wufei walked cautiously into the apartment, the occupant a young woman with long brown hair, and been immediately cooperative the moment they knocked upon her door. She watched Wufei with large eyes from the wall he had ordered her to stand against, as he made a thorough sweep of her home. What he found were plants and flowers on just about every available surface, the air smelled rich with their scent, and it vaguely reminded Wufei of a certain field from his childhood. The thought was immediately pushed aside as he and his men finished the sweep returning to the woman.

"You're the only one who lives here?" Wufei asked watching her face closely.

Her eyes flickered over all of them expression remaining pleasant, and he had to admit it was a breathe of fresh air, not just counting the flowers. It was unexpected to be greeted with warmth rather than a 'Fuck Off.' "Yes I live alone," she confirmed with a voice more mature than her young features gave credit.

"Lana Aeris."

"She on the list?" Wufei asked knowing Kevin had immediately begun his search.

"That's confirmed," Kevin said a second later, "Lana Aeris has lived in this apartment for the last two years."

She smiled at Wufei, slender fingers moving to the buttons of her pink blouse, "I am no member of this Inner Circle, but I can prove it to you if you like…" There was a sparkle in those eyes that again didn't match the look of her age, as one of the button slipped open.

Not for the first time Wufei wished Dante hadn't told the colony everything that they knew about the Inner Circle. It wasn't so much that the general population of the colony knowing about the brand was a problem, more a few of the women he had encountered were, "That won't be necessary," he assured quickly. They had never found any evidence that there were any women among the Inner Circle, in fact it had been a known fact among the members that it wasn't an option. And not just for the awkwardness of the brands location.

Aeris gave him a small pout but her fingers left the remaining buttons closed as Wufei moved towards the door, "You're being asked to remain in your home until we've finished the searching through the colony."

"Any idea how long that could be?" she asked innocently.

Wufei allowed himself a tiny smile as moved towards the opened door, "As long as it takes."

Back out in the hall Wufei nodded to his men who had been guarding keeping a careful watch both back the way they had come and in the direction they still needed to go. They had slowly made their way through the first three floors of the apartment complex and had yet to single out a one member of the Inner Circle, a good thing Wufei figured. Nodding to his men Wufei lead the way slowly down the hall, as they came to a corner that would lead them to the next apartment. As he neared the end of the hall a woman came around the corner suddenly, her limbs trembling and her hands raised to either side of her shoulders. She was white as a sheet looking pleadingly in Wufei's direction, and he knew their luck had just run out.

"You think you can just invade out homes?!" a harsh male voice shouted from around the bend.

"If you aren't Inner Circle you have nothing to fear from us," Wufei explained calmly guessing by the woman's reaction that she was being held at gun point, the cocking of a shotgun was is confirmation.

"Who said a damn thing about fear?!" he barked back, "We have rights! Get the fuck out of here!"

"Please…help me…" the woman whispered and Wufei attempted to ease her mind by stepping a little closer remaining back from the intercepting hall. From where she had been made to stand she was out of his reach, but no doubt in perfect range of the gun aimed at her back.

"Kevin, where's Ty located? Any of his men close enough to ambush?" he asked very softly.

"What are you waiting for?!" the man demanded.

"Don't you think this woman has rights too?" Wufei returned calmly all the while waiting for Kevin's response.

"Ray's on his way, should be there in a minute," Kevin informed.

Wufei's eyes narrowed, it was the best the could do but might well be two late the man was clearly at a breaking point. Silently Wufei signalled to his men indicating he was going to make a dive for the woman, in the hopes that Ray would make it in time, if not they were to offer him cover fire, shoot to kill if necessary.

"You come one step closer and I'll kill her!" he warned obviously unnerved by the silence he was being met with, "Her blood will be on your hands!!"

Taking in a breath Wufei lowered himself coiling his muscles ready to dash out into the hall and grab the hostage. It was a risk, one Sally would probably have fits over if she was to ever find out, but the body armour that he wore out to protect him will enough from any stray pellets. Hoping he had timed Ray's approach right, Wufei threw himself forward catching the woman and the gunman both by surprise. She screamed in fright, he shouted in rage the blast of his shotgun reverberating down the halls.

Putting himself between the woman and the gunfire Wufei could feel some of the pellets pepper his calf, but they caused him no pain the Kevlar standing up without difficulty. No the pain came from another part of his body, his right wrist more precisely. His momentum and the weight of the woman worked against him, and as he reached out to catch himself he landed hard feeling his wrist bend at an awkward angle. He remained down over the woman his right arm pinned between the floor and her body as gunfire exploded around them a cry of pain barely rose above the din, before the was near silence.

Slowly pushing himself up off the woman Wufei glanced down the hall to where the gunman had fallen clutching at his leg. Ray came around the corner a second later, "Sorry I'm late…" he voice spoke into Wufei's ear.

"No problem," The former pilot turned his attention to the woman still shaking a crying having not moved and inch from where he had tackled her. "Are you alright?" he asked eyes scanning over her to see if she had been hit. She mutely nodded her head confirming what the lack of blood had already been telling him.

"Shit man! You've got the devil's own luck!" Nic commended coming over to them, his eyes scanning Wufei over briefly before looking to the woman. He was their medic, a fully trained agent he was comfortable in most any situation and could at times be disturbingly observant. Wufei wondered if Sally had had a hand in which group they had ended up with, he didn't know how though since the pilots hadn't really decided until they had arrived. Wherever they were needed that's where they intended to be.

Wufei moved to get up primarily using his left hand to support himself as Nic sat the hysterical woman up to get a better look at her. He felt comfortable leaving her in the medic's care, but Nic seemed to have other ideas, "Where do you think you're going?" he asked with a raised eye brow glancing back over his shoulder at the former pilot.

"I have to take care of this," Wufei responded motioning down the hall to where the gunman had been pinned with several agents kneeling around him while others had taken up guard position in case anyone else were to appear.

"Well what I need to do will only take a second so get back over here," he said tone cheerful but Wufei didn't miss the cool undertone that broke no room for argument.

Not that that was enough to stop Wufei, "I'm fine take care of her, we need to keep going."

"That's something Sally told me to never listen too," Nic chuckled passing the woman off to another agent who would take her statement and bring her somewhere safe. "She's fine no injuries, which means…" his eyes looked Wufei over up and down in slow sweeps.

"I didn't take any either," he countered making a show of his body, arms held out as he turned to prove his point. "Kevlar's an amazing thing,"

Nic just shook his head, and knelt down beside the former pilot eyes and hands scanning over his leg where the pellets had hit, "This wouldn't have been enough to get me jumping in front of gunfire and hurt or not I doubt Sally's going to be too happy to hear about it."

"Good thing she's not here," Wufei regarded the man as he stood up again dusting off his hands.

"Keep in mind we have to report back to her," Nic's expression looked pained at the very thought.

"Don't worry about it, she's used to it," and with that said Wufei walked away, down the hall to where the gun man lay cuffed and moaning. Nic was not even a step behind him, as the agents parted to make room for them. "Is he Inner Circle?" Wufei asked immediately, onyx eyes looking down to see for himself.

"Yes sir," a man answered his question pulling open the gunman's shirt to reveal the phoenix brand.

Wufei regarded the man seriously this was the first members they had discovered who had attempted to use a civilian as a hostage. If this was a sign of things to come or at least the methods they were willing to sink too Wufei could see this getting a lot harder. "Who were your contacts?" he demanded, taking the offered ID cards and wallet with his left hand, "Mr Nguyen."

"Go to hell," the man spat venomously, eyes clouded with pain, as Nic applied a field dressing to his gunshot wound.

He'd lost count of the number of times he'd heard that, and so didn't dignify it was a response, "Cline, Brookes, take Mr Nguyen back to base, and get what information that you can."

"Yes sir," the men said in unison waiting until Nic was finished with him to haul him to his feet and back down the hall. Wufei passed the material over to them, and refocused his attention on the hall and the apartment the man had apparently come from. Ray stood outside the still open door along with two other agents waiting for him to arrive to enter. He nodded his head, and without thinking gestured with his right hand for them to go ahead. Wufei realised immediately that that had been a mistake.

His wrist and hand were both incredibly sore, not to the point where he thought anything might have been broken. But definitely sprained, he could already begin to feel it swell. He would need to do something soon to stabilise it if he didn't want to have it draw attention. Taking a firm grip of his gun, in his right hand Wufei was relieved to see at least that wasn't going to be a problem. Stepping into the apartment a second later Wufei began a visual search of anything that might possible be related to the Inner Circle. They weren't exactly keeping their hopes up for that considering what they knew about the organisation. But if one of them could take potentially sensitive information to a home computer—such as the footage of Heero's branding—there was no telling what else they might possibly find.

Stepping into the decent sized bathroom Wufei found his attention searching for something not at all related to the Inner Circle, and within a matter of seconds he had found it. Pulling the bound tensor bandage from the cabinet Wufei quickly stripped his glove from his hand and took a moment to push back the sleeve of his coat. He worked fast to tightly wrap his wrist and hand, eyes flickering to the door to make sure no one was watching. Once it was tightly secured he worked his sleeve back down and pulled his glove back on. It was a bit more of a tight fit, but the joint felt a little better, and it would do until he could get some ice on it.

Walking back into the living room Wufei was met by Ray, "Did you want me to stay here or head back over?"

"You'd might as well stay here," he stepped back out into the hall, "Kevin patch me through to Gorren."

"Right away."

"What can I do for you sir?" Gorren asked immediately.

"Anything new?" he asked wondering if Heero were still in their sector.

"He avoided an ambush, and discovered a residential section ridged to explode, Trowa's on his way to it now," Gorren informed.

"And he didn't feel the need to warn me about the gunman waiting around the corner?" Wufei asked tone dry sarcastic.

Gorren chuckled a little, "He was confident you could handle it."

"Thank him for me will you…"

"No problem," Gorren continued to chuckle to himself.

Wufei shifted his wrist again, feeling out it's limits trying to decide what he could and couldn't do. It irritated him to have to deal with this restriction, but considering what other sort of things could have happened—potentially sideling him for the rest of the mission—this wasn't really that bad.

Thanks for Reading!

Morganeth Taren'drel


	70. One by One

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas present we've reached another milestone! 70 chapters, and I apologise in advance for however long it takes to get more chapters out. I hope you can all forgive me and stick with me!

**Disclaimer**: No surprises I still don't own Gundam Wing.

**One by One**

"Alright, get down from there," a jovial voice manage to growl into his ear, late on the second day.

Heero looked closely at the image of Duo staring up at the Gundam, his arms folded across his chest, a stern expression plastered on his face. An eyebrow slowly raised on Heero's face as he silently wondered where his friend had appeared from. Last he had heard Duo was nearly across the colony. "Don't you have a job to be doing?" he asked back calmly.

"I'm giving you to the count of five, then I'm coming up there," Duo warned a smile turning up at the corner of his mouth.

"Gorren, what's he planning?" Heero turned his attention to his tech.

"Not really sure sir, he wanted to know your location I didn't think twice about telling him."

"Hn…" he very briefly debated what to do, "Put me through to him,"

"Right away," Gorren almost chuckled.

"Don't you have work to be doing?" Heero asked his braided friend immediately.

Duo pointed a finger up at the Gundam, "Part of my job is to make sure you take a break like the rest of us, now get your ass down here!"

Did he really want to give into such demands? He had been working steadily since Zero had been made operational, and he felt fine. A little tired perhaps as it took a fair deal of effort to control the ZERO system. Still he was needed for the safety of the agents, to try and stay ahead of the Inner Circle, he hadn't really factored in breaks. Which is why he had brought himself supplies when he left the others.

"Look this isn't up for debate Heero," Duo pointed out firmly his patience clearly waning. "You part in all this isn't so important you can neglect yourself, now get down here!"

"Are you going to go down sir?" Gorren asked sounding unsure but bemused.

"Looks as though I might not have much of a choice…" Heero responded dryly, not putting it passed Duo to climb up there and drag him down.

"I'll keep an eye on things for sir, you should take a break."

Heero grunted at that, but reached for the controls that would open the Gundam's hatch, as the artificial light of the colony filtered in Heero shifted to the edge of his seat. Hearing a contented chuckle from Duo echo into his ear, Heero planted a firm glower on his face as he made his way down to Duo. His friend continued to smile despite the look he received motioning Heero towards the van he had driven up in.

The area of the colony that Zero stood in was completely secured, there wasn't much reason to be in the line of fire unless they wanted to use the Gundam as a means to suppress the masses. Heero could monitor things from a distance, and still maintain a sense of control. He glanced at his watch to get a sense of the time, being unable to really judge by the lighting around him, Heero was rather surprised to see it was eight in the evening.

"Glad to see you decided to come down," Duo greeted as he pulled the door of the van opened.

"Not like I was given much of a choice," he returned flatly.

"Have to make sure you take a break every now and again," the braided pilot quipped, pulling out a couple of ration packs and bottled water. "Take a seat," he said then nearly pushing Heero into the van.

The Japanese man didn't really bother putting up a fight at the moment, knowing Duo would let the matter go once he had been satisfied, but he couldn't keep from pointing out, "You know I have rations and water in Zero."

"Yeah and left alone you'd never come down and no doubt never sleep."

"I'm needed," he responded simply tearing open the rations to start eating.

Duo shook his head leaning against the outside of the van, he wasn't blocking the doorway, but Heero didn't doubt he'd spring into action if the need should arise. "We're all needed, that doesn't keep us from finding a few hours of shut eye."

"I can manage a little sleep in Zero," he figured it was a futile effort to point that out to Duo, as he didn't expect his friend to back down.

"No doubt, but at least this way I can be sure you're getting it," the American smiled widely.

Heero repressed a sigh, wondering if he wanted to fight this when Gorren's voice spoke quietly into his ear. "Go ahead sir, things have been relatively quiet this last little while, I'll inform you if anything comes up." Heero didn't bother responding to that but kept his steady gaze fixed on Duo, who had not ceased in smiling since he had come down from Zero.

"Hey I'm not asking much," he broke the silence, "Just a couple hours, then I'll leave you alone. I'm surprised Gorren hasn't been all over you about this already."

"Not much he can do from central control," Heero drawled calmly. It was true comments had been made on a couple of occasions with Eimz and Gorren switching out every so often they had wondered what Heero had planned for his own rest. For the most part Heero had ignored such questions, putting them off with more important matters, however, "Looks like they found someone to do it for them."

"Nah I actually asked them, can't say I'm surprised by what I heard," he shook his head, "I know we're all taking less sleep that the other agents, but that doesn't mean you can go with none," he pointed a finger firmly in Heero's direction, "So eat up and get some sleep, then I'll let you get back to work, and you can look forward to one less thing for Sally to yell at you about."

Heero shook his head haplessly, willing to give in this time if only because it would get him out there again faster. He made a mental note to have a talk with Gorren and Eimz when he came back on shift. That he put up with this once, didn't mean he wanted it to be happening again and again. Although Zero was hard to hide, he felt fairly confident that he could avoid the other pilots if his techs weren't pointing them in the right direction the entire time.

WMWMWMW

Duo stretched his body a soft groan escaping his lips as he did.

"I told you to wait for back up," Chad's tone was very much 'I told you so'.

But Duo only grinned touching lightly at his tender ribs, "Hostages saved, three members of the Inner Circle taken in, I'd say it worked out just fine."

"And just how many bullets did you take?" Duo could hear the raised eyebrow in that question.

"Not a one," Duo beamed looking over to the shorter man with a mess of red hair topping his head, "I'm proud to say I haven't lost a drop of blood yet."

Chad shook his head, although he too was grinning, "Fine I'll rephrase, how many cracked ribs do you have, from he bullets that hit your vest?"

The former pilot laughed, "A couple, probably," he immediately brought his breathing back under control silently wondering how Heero had dealt with so many of them for so long. It had been a long time since he had broke a rib.

The Inner Circle had been getting more desperate as time went on and the search continued. It had become clear to Duo after the second day that they had prepared for this, he had been in the residential area rigged to explode when Trowa had safely disarmed their explosives. And after having forced Heero to take a break from running Zero he had learned a little more of the plans the Inner Circle had made. That they had captured so many members in the first two days didn't relieve Duo of the challenge to come. They were buried deeper now, prepared to put up a fight.

Duo felt his lips turn up in a vicious grin as he moved towards the door, prepared or not they were all going down.

"You heading back out?" Chad asked then.

"That's my job," Duo quipped turning at the door to cast his tech support a friendly wave, "Let me know where I'm needed."

"So long as you stop jumping in front of bullets," he returned in joking tones.

Duo laughed, "I make no promises," he tossed over his shoulder before letting the door close behind him. The room outside was a buzz with activity as men just waking up from their rest to begin the new shift. Duo strode pass them waving casually at a few who acknowledge him, as he made his way outside.

"Duo, I've got Ash here, seems he's found something interesting," Chad informed suddenly his voice speaking quietly into Duo's ear.

"Put him through," Duo instructed stepping outside, "What's the matter Ash?"

"Just stumbled across something odd," his voice was low, and Duo didn't think that was just because the mic was near his mouth, "I thought we cleared the small manufacturing district early yesterday."

"That we did," Duo confirmed dropping a hand onto the motorcycle he had been using primarily throughout the mission.

"Well I think we might have missed someone."

Duo straddled the motor bike, "Alright where are you?"

"I'm on Houten just passed Scriven, it's a steel factory, Melnans is the name," Ash filled in the necessary details.

"You get that Chad?"

"I've got the fastest rout already plotted," the tech replied, and Duo flipped the vid screen down before his right eye, "Should be there in five minutes."

Duo reved the engine, "I'm on my way."

Ash looked across the street to the window he had caught the sudden movement from, he hadn't seen anything more since contacting Duo, but that didn't lead him to believe he had been seeing things. Ash was now considering the possibility that he himself had been seen, and whoever had been inside knew they had been spotted. He glanced at his watch, Duo wouldn't be long in arriving. Not wanting to risk whoever was still in the factory slipping out another way, Ash made to cross the street gun in hand.

The service door to the factory was open when Ash pushed his hand against it, and he immediately stopped pulling back to the cover of the wall. A soft chuckle in his ear relaxed him almost instantly, "Sorry Ash, that was me," Chad informed. "I didn't think you'd be willing to wait, I'm watching the building now, I've got a reading on the suspect, he's not running."

"Maybe he didn't see me," Ash mused slipping inside the building, but not really getting his hopes up either. The lights were dim within the factory but more than enough for Ash to see by as he slipped through what shadows he could hide within. He glanced cautiously around the corner, "You'll warn me if whoever this is gets behind me right?"

"Nah that's a service I only offer the pilots," Chad chuckled.

Ash shook his head, "I sure hope you're kidding," he returned dryly moving further into the building. "Where about's he located?"

"Second floor just above you."

Taking careful note of the schematic on the small screen Ash saw the best route to the suspects location and made for it. He made little sound as he climbed the stairs keeping his movements slow and sure, his breathing silent and even. At the top of the stairs Ash made towards the front of the building where he knew the suspect was still waiting, at least Chad hadn't told him otherwise.

Glancing around the last corner Ash caught sight of the man silhouetted against the window, he appeared completely unaware. Ash stepped into sight gun raised, "Hold it right there," he announced firmly.

"I'm inside coming to your position," Duo's voice spoke to him softly.

The man slowly turned towards him and as Ash shifted position he became better able to see the suspects face, "Milo?" he blinked in surprise, having not seen his friend since this mess had all started, "What are you doing here?"

"Ash…" Milo said sounding a little surprised, "I thought that was you I saw on the street, what's going on?"

Ash took a step deeper into the room regarding his friend with a raised eyebrow, the gun lowering in his hands, "You can't tell me you don't know Dante announced it to the entire colony, we're searching for the Inner Circle."

"Of course I knew about that," the man smiled his empty hands spreading away from his body. "But this sector had already been cleared…"

"Which is why we're curious to know what you're doing here," Duo spoke up suddenly stepping around the corner gun aimed at Milo's chest.

Milo sprung into action with a speed and directness that shocked Ash. Before he could think twice, Milo had him by the neck, a gun he had pulled from behind him pressed tightly into Ash's side. "The hell?!" he bit off immediately trying to struggle out of Milo's grip.

"I will shoot you," the black haired man warned in a low voice, "Drop your gun."

WMWMWMW

Duo watched, his gun held steadily before him, as Ash was taken and his own gun slowly dropped from his hand. The former pilot had heard some of the conversation they had had, before he had arrived, the mic they wore picked up a good deal of sound. He knew the man to be Milo, a name he wasn't familiar with but Ash had clearly been. The surprise still on his face told Duo Ash hadn't been expecting this when he approach the man.

"Stay back unless you want him to die," Milo warned Duo, backing away from the gun Ash had dropped while keeping his gun pressed to Ash's side.

"Unless you're Inner Circle, there's no reason for this," Duo attempted already pretty sure that was exactly what this man was.

"Before today I've never heard of them, what the hell's the meaning of occupying our colony?" he demanded back, sounding half way convincing. "We're no longer a member of the ESUN."

"Milo this isn't the best way to get information," Ash spoke carefully, eyeing the dark eyed man as best as he could held as he was.

Duo's eyes narrowed as he studied the man, lavender eyes met with golden-brown, "I doubt he really needs much info on what's been going on." Milo's grip tightened on Ash a fraction and he moved to hide himself more completely behind his supposed friend. "In fact I bet my life on it, that he knows more about the Inner Circle than we do."

That comment caused a raised eyebrow, about the only expression he could make out from the man using Ash as a human shield. "I highly doubt you're willing to stake Ash's life on it."

"Well you see that all depends," Duo informed his tone bordering on friendly which drew a suspicious look from both Ash and Milo. "What is it you want?"

"I want safe access off this colony," Milo answered without hesitation.

Duo made a show of thinking it over, his gun still aimed though his stance had relaxed some, this man wasn't sure enough of himself to do anything drastic, Duo felt fairly sure of that. "We've got ourselves a bit of a problem here…"

"No problem, no questions," the dark haired man growled, "Or he dies," he finger clearly and pointedly tightened around the trigger. But Duo was by no means more convinced of his intentions, he just didn't have it in his eyes. Perhaps he and Ash truly had become friends despite this unknown difference between them.

"According to the ESUN, I'm not permitted to negotiate with terrorists," his tone was apologetic.

"You'd think you'd be willing to make an exception this one time," Ash huffed trying to pull as far from the gun barrel as he could while remaining motionless.

"Shut-up!" Milo jerked him back digging the gun in.

"However as much as I like to follow the rules, there's Sally to consider, who seems to think anytime injury happens while I'm around it's somehow my fault." He purposefully made his tone more serious he wanted Milo to believe he'd cooperate.

And it seemed he did, Milo relaxed a hair his finger shifting from the trigger just enough, "So we have an agreement then, my escape for Ash's life."

Duo took aim and fired in one smooth breath, his bullet piercing Ash's shoulder before ripping through Milo. Both men cried out in surprise and pain, as Duo lunged forward throwing Ash aside as he kicked the gun across the room, it had fallen from Milo's numb hand almost immediately. "I always like the third option best," he quipped watching as the light left the terrorist's eyes, the bullet had torn through his heart. Turning he looked at Ash who was staring at him in disbelief, pain lancing through his hazel eyes as he gripped his bleeding shoulder. "Welcome to the group," he smiled moving to kneel down in front of Ash to access the injury.

"What the hell was that?!" Ash demanded biting down on his lip.

"Think of it as initiation," Duo quipped pulling aside Ash's vest, he had had to aim for a seam otherwise the bullet would have never made it to Milo.

"Fuck," the injured man hissed, and although he didn't look pissed, he was not exactly pleased either.

Thanks for Reading!

**Go 'splodie?**:

Duo remained standing by Heero's side eyes studying him intently. He had come to know Heero very well over the years that they had fought together and he was pleased to see that even three years apparent hadn't dulled his senses where his friend was concerned. He knew about Heero's ability to wake himself without sounding the alarm, it was a useful gift, and one Duo envied. Kahlan was completely unaware glancing back over his shoulder at the bed, but unable to pick out the subtle changes that alerted Duo.

However even Duo was shocked when the heart monitor suddenly sounded its alarm, seconds before his eyes shot over to the small screen to confirm what he had heard Duo saw Heero's right arm tense, as the former pilot became aware of the cuff securing him to the bed. Heero eyes had flown open a second later, and Duo hated himself for having not see this coming for having not thought how Heero might take to being restrained on waking. There was panic in those eyes, though it disappeared instantly well before Kahlan was at his side.

It was obvious Sally had made several things clear to Kahlan in her training, as the medic didn't immediately lay his hands on Heero but rather made an attempt to get the former pilot's attention. By this point Heero's heart rate had evened out again as much as it had before he woke, and his expression was blank. "Heero--"

That was all Duo allowed Kahlan to get out, "Could you give us a moment," he heard himself asking and was surprised.

"I really need to examine him," the medic protested immediately.

"It'll be alright, he'll still be here when I'm done," Duo wasn't waiting for agreement now, as he ushered the man out of the room and locked the door behind him.

When he turned around he saw Heero sitting up on the bed a dark expression set on his face as he jerked the cuffs a few times before turning his glare on Duo. The braided man winced slightly, he couldn't believe this hadn't occurred to him, and he could have killed himself for it. "I'm..." Duo stopped himself a second before he apologized, knowing that wouldn't improve matters with Heero. "Stupid," he chided himself as he pulled the key from his pocket and released the cuff around Heero's wrist, "I blame it on a lack of sleep."

Heero said nothing in respond but shifted further on the bed so his legs were dangling off the edge and he head was down shielding his eyes from view. Duo watched him silently for a while trying to decide what he should do next. There was no way he was going to leave his friend alone, he just got this feeling that that wasn't what Heero wanted. The Japanese man's free hand rose to massage at the bridge of his nose, and he ducked his head a little lower.

"Your head?" he asked even though it was obvious. To have found out these headaches weren't life threatening eased Duo's mind a little, still he would have preferred Heero had seen to them. Heero mutely nodded his head, and Duo reached for the light controls, shutting them off completely so only the monitors cast their meagre glow about the room. He found himself resting against a desk almost across the room from Heero, wanting to give his friend some space.

The words that came out of the darkness shocked Duo, "Does anything scare you?" but the voice was unmistakably Heero's, tired and warn thin. Completely stunned for several moments Duo tried to speak, not wanting to break this moment. He knew Heero had been struggling with something deep since the torture with Luc, they had all known it. And after the call Wufei had received from Jay it became plain that they really couldn't ignore it any longer. But still the matter of approaching Heero on the subject was far from easy.

"Sure," he said tone light not trying to brush the matter aside or belittle it, just keep things relaxed. "I'm scared of loosing my family, down right terrified of my children ever having to defend this peace..." he trailed off slowly, watching Heero intently. something in Heero's silence, told Duo that wasn't what his friend had been searching for.

And it all suddenly clicked for him, the past year, all that had happened to Heero, all that he had suffered through. They all knew the torture had affected Heero, but Duo didn't think he had fully understood it until now. The reaction he had witnessed when Heero had awoke only confirmed what he had heard from Wufei. Apparently Heero had a similar sort of reaction while staying with Jay. Or at least something like that had to have happened for Jay to have ever found out about the torture.

It hadn't really occurred to Duo that anything could have affected his friend so deeply. The matter had been discussed a few times among the pilots. But Duo didn't think any of them really wanted to admit that any of them could be touched. However Duo could no longer deny it either to them or himself, he too had been cut deeply in the past, though he'd never have compared it to Heero's.

"To be completely honest with you, I haven't been really comfortable in space, since the day OZ shut off the oxygen to the cell Wufei and I were being held in." That had been several years ago, but Duo had woke shaking on more than one occasion, thankfully always alone. Like Heero this wasn't something he wanted commonly known.

There was silence still but Duo saw Heero shift, and he waited not sure if he should actually be expecting anything from his friend but he was certainly hoping for something. "How...did you deal?" he asked finally voice hardly more than a harsh whisper.

Duo folded his arms across his chest slowly shaking his head, "I'm still dealing," he admitted again finding it surprisingly easy to open up to Heero about this, something only his wife knew. "I don't like waking in pitch black rooms, I don't go so far as a nightlight, but it just reminds me too much of the void of space..."

Heero's head dropped between his shoulders completely hiding his features within the shadows.

"I know it's not easy to ask for help, hell I tried to bury the feelings with alcohol, but you already know that doesn't really do much but let you forget for a short period of time." he sighed at a loss for words, he'd never expected to find himself in this position with Heero. But he was determined to help him he just didn't know how, none of them really did.

"Who could help?" it was a honest question, and perhaps one Heero didn't truly want an answer to.

"I know if doesn't do much to suggest profession help right now, no one would be able to get around the fact that you've been dead this last year to offer you real help." Duo began trying without great success to lighten his voice again. "Not sure you'd even really want to go for it if you could get it, I never really did. Spent a lot of long hours talking to Hilde though."

"She understood?"

"Not really, but she listened, and tried to comfort, that did help," he smiled at the memory, not reliving the moments of the fear, but of talking to Hilde and feeling as though he had nothing to be ashamed of.

Heero drew in a breath, "I can't…"

Duo could understand the reaction, near suffocation was truly a far cry from torture, and Relena wasn't even aware of what had happened. There had been no occasion to tell her, and it had just been better off that way. "You know you can always talk to me, I'm no professional, but I know you better than they ever will."

He felt Heero's eyes watching him from the darkness, and wasn't sure if there was appreciation in those cobalt eyes, he hoped so. But wasn't himself ready to push Heero into this, he knew how that felt. "We're all here," he added feeling a little silly for it, no doubt Heero would have known that, but he wanted his friend to be sure.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	71. Go 'splodie

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: I know it's been forever I hope none of you think I've given up on this story, I've promised so many times that I wouldn't and I really mean that. I don't want to get into details of what's been going on in my life at the moment, but sufficed to say it hasn't been pleasant. And writing and posting is still taking a back seat. At the moment I only have the one chapter for you. But I hope you all enjoy and will continue to be patient with me. I thank you for all your support!!

I want to thank each and everyone of you as I have in the past…but I hope youll forgive me with a blanket thank you for your reviews!! Im going to try and get back into the swing of thing just please be patient with me.

Thanks to Morgansgirl for editing for me!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing.

**Go 'splodie?**

"What's your opinion of the situation?" Tony asked, his voice terse in Trowa's ear as the former pilot watched from the shadows.

"Sol patch me through to Eimz," Trowa directed his attention first to the techs.

"Just a sec," the tech replied.

The voice switched for a brief second, "Hang on," Eimz said not needing to hear anything.

"Trowa," Heero's voice greeted sounding a little thin, though Trowa already knew if he asked he wouldn't get a straight answer about it.

"What do you see?" Trowa was already sure at where they stood but wanted to have a second opinion. When potentially risking lives you could never be too careful.

"Snipers, and strong fortification…" he drew in a slow breath, "You won't get inside in mass, at least not without bloodshed."

Trowa nodded his head, they had found out about the snipers early on, and it hadn't taken long to realise this was one of the fortified locations Heero had mentioned three days back on route to the colony. This was all merely confirmation to what Trowa had already been suspecting, "Tony," he moved back towards their main position, "I'm going to go this one alone."

"I don't like that, we know they're heavily fortified but it can't be safe to just send one person in," the commander informed immediately.

That was no surprise, "This is nothing new for me, infiltration is a specialty," he plainly stated without arrogance behind his words. Trowa had snuck into several organisations and although he wasn't attempting to gain membership in this one, he would be able to escape immediate notice. People just tended not to give him a second glance, on most occasions dismissing him without thought.

"And just how the hell do you plan to get past the snipers?"

"There's one blind spot I'll be able to slip in from," Trowa responded a tiny smirk tugging at the edge of his lips as he came into sight of Tony and the rest of the team.

"How can you be sure they don't have it covered? You could just walk right into a trap," Tony countered.

Trowa shook his head closing the distance between them, "They're not expecting anyone to make it through."

"Just where are you looking?" the commander asked motioning over to the printed out schematics they had been pouring over.

That was an encouraging sign, Trowa knew this is what he was going to be doing, but if he didn't have to argue the point with Tony that would make it all the easier. Running his finger down the edge of the buildings outline. "There's no windows on this alley," he informed looking up from the papers to regard Tony.

"Just where does that get you?" Tony was studying the schematic carefully trying to see something beyond the alley.

"From there I can make it to the roof, and slip inside," as he spoke he began undoing the coat that he wore, working it off his body.

Tony's eyebrow raised as he watched the former pilot, "If you're going in alone you'll need all the protection you can get."

"It restricts my movement too much," Trowa draped the coat beside the papers on the vehicle's hood before adjusting the belt he was still wearing that bore his gun, spare clips and a few other useful items.

"How are you planning on getting in?"

"There's a pipe running down this wall, should be enough to give me a grip," it wouldn't be easy by any stretch of the imagination, but the practice and strength training he had received working at the circus did make him the best candidate for this mode of entry. "Not much else we can do with how they have the building defended."

Tony's arms folded across his chest as he studied first the schematic and then Trowa, his dark eyes serious. "What's your plan once your inside?"

"I'll work my way down and try and clear a path for the men to enter, depending on security in there I might be able to narrow down who's in charge." Trowa didn't hold his breath that it would be that easy, nothing with the Inner Circle had been so far. No doubt the members in the building knew who was giving orders, but the former pilot wouldn't have put it past them, to have created an obscure chain of command that some how left it all in question.

"Alright but I want constant updates," Tony agreed finally, and Trowa knew he would. As unhappy as he was about it, he knew this was the only option that they had available at the moment.

Nodding his head Trowa turned back the way he had come, his right hand reaching up to make sure his com piece was securely in place. "Sol how much surveillance do we have?"

"Not much," the tech sighed, "They've taken care to shield themselves, not enough to draw attention to this building right off however. I guess they had this in mind as well…"

"They had just about everything in mind," Trowa agreed, his long legs carrying him steadily towards his destination. He took a long route around not wanting to risk being seen by any of the snipers watching from the windows. The building itself was fairly isolated on the end of a long row of four story brick buildings it had an old world feel that seemed out of place on a colony. But it fit right in with the houses beside it, and a fair sized park on its other side finished the look of a quiet neighbourhood.

"How long until you're in position?" Tony's voice asked, not unexpected though Trowa had half expected to hear from him sooner. It wasn't that Tony didn't trust him, more that he was a responsible commander who didn't like to see any of his soldiers wounded. Trowa actually got on with Tony better than any of the other commanders he had worked with over the years. More often than not Tony saw things in the same way he did, though he was a little more careful when throwing himself into them.

"I'll be there in a minute," Trowa returned jogging through the shadows to the alley, his emerald eyes flickering around him to make sure he wasn't being watched. Reaching his destination Trowa slipped into the deeper shadows, it wasn't really and alley since there wasn't even enough room for him to walk straight through, but that would actually help him with the climb. Taking hold of the pipe Trowa began the long climb up. "Sol have you scanned the roof, are there any sensors there?" he asked softly looking upwards at his approaching goal.

"Nothing that I could find they obviously didn't want to stand out." That was a relief, one less thing to try and avoid, but he knew damn well that once inside the building there were any number of things that could go wrong.

Reaching up Trowa took hold of the edge of the roof, and hauled himself up, the rough soles of his boots made griping the equally rough surface of the brick all that much easier. "I'm on the roof," he announced once crouched behind the short wall.

"Alright," Tony's voice once again sounded terse.

WMWMWMW

Heero wiped the perspiration from his face as he shifted in his seat yet again, he couldn't seem to relax. Relax, and it was too easy to loose control of Zero, therefore he had to be on constant alert, the system was stronger more determined to show him everything. It hadn't taken long to realise this was what he had done to try and safeguard the ESUN from a potential attack. He highly doubted anyone from Freedom's Point or even the rest of the ESUN could handle the stress this system put you under.

Drawing in a slightly laboured breath Heero attempted to gather himself, clear his thinking and push away the exhausting 'pseudo' pain he was feeling. May lives had been saved so far, and not just on the agency's side, the mission was not yet over which meant Heero's job was not yet through.

"How are you holding up Sir?" Eimz asked breaking the silence between them.

"I'll be alright," he replied knowing already that answering with the word 'fine' wouldn't do him any favours.

"Can I persuade you to take a break?"

"I need to keep an eye on this," he replied, Trowa had just entered the building and things could easily go wrong. "There are still agents out there."

"You won't be able to keep this up forever sir, nobody could," Eimz pointed out in a sensible tone.

"Leave it be," Heero growled feeling the yellow glow of ZERO swell up around him stealing his breath away. "I need to focus!" he barked trying to fight back, to regain control of the system. Heero felt his chest constricted painfully and he bit back against it. Still fighting the pain that shot down his left arm and he fought to hold back a groan from exiting into the mike alerting Eimz that something was wrong.

It was too late to come back from it, he was surrounded by the system showing him horrific possibilities despite his desperate struggles to claw his way back to the top. He saw the building in front of him go up in flames, and Trowa's lifeless body laying among the debris. But he couldn't find the breath needed to call out a warning. Desperately a hand pressed to his chest willing the pain to leave, willing his breath to return to him.

Finally he managed to pull in a staggering breath, his voice shaking and weak as he fought to get out one word, "Duo…"

WMWMWMW

On light feet Trowa made his way down yet another stairwell. It had become clear to him several moments after entering the building that not all the rooms were being put into use. Lessening the number of occupants he had feared might be inside. He had come across one of the snipers shortly after entering and had rendered the man no threat, taking with him the radio he had been wearing. Now with Tony's voice asking for updates in his right ear, he could also hear the brief bits of conversation from the members of the Inner Circle.

Little of it was actually useful to him, they were aware of their presence outside, but weren't about to attempt anything. Their position wasn't perfect, they were well protected yes, and well stocked. But no one if they could avoid it would corner themselves in such a way, it was bound to end and not in their favour.

"What's your status?" Tony asked again as Trowa edged his way out of the stairwell onto another floor.

"I'm on the third floor," he informed softly emerald eyes more focused on the structure around him than what Tony might have asked after. "Sol, do you have access to the records of any construction done to this building?"

"What is it?" Tony's voice was tense.

"Just give me one sec," the tech returned.

"Trowa," there was a slight warning note to the commander's voice.

"They've fortified the structure…" he ran his hand lightly over the thick metal, "From what I've seen it doesn't look like they designed it to keep people out."

Tony pulled in a breath, "Meant to keep the people in?"

"Looks like they re-did the entire exterior of the building a few years back," Sol informed.

"That would be cover enough to fortify internally," Trowa commented moving down the hall.

"Anyone heard from Tyson?" a voice from the Inner Circle asked tersely, and Trowa silently cursed.

"I don't have too much longer before they discover someone's inside," he informed pushing on trying to figure out were the central command of the building would be.

WMWMWMW

"Duo!" Eimz voice sounded near frantic in the former pilot's ear.

Duo shot forward from where he had been relaxing on a set of stairs, "What is it?" he demanded. He had been relaxing after clearing the final building, but felt himself shift immediately to high alert at the tone in the tech's voice.

"Something's happened to Heero."

The braided man was on his feet, already making for his bike, "Where is he?"

"Not far from the hanger, I haven't been able to get much of a response from him," Eimz sounded truly worried now.

"Alright, have a path to the shuttle cleared, and inform Kahlan that I'm bringing Heero to him. Get me the fastest route to his location, and patch me through," Duo shot out the orders without thought as he revved the engine on the bike and peeled rubber towards the hanger.

"Consider it done," Eimz's tone was clipped as he set to work, "I'm putting you through right now."

Duo looked at the small map on the screen in front of his right eye, as he navigated his way through the empty streets pushing the bike as fast as he could. "Heero?" he called his friends name sharply wanting to get a reply. At first all he heard was soft laboured breathing, and he determinedly called out to Heero again.

"Duo…" the Japanese man breathed finally, "Wha…"

"What happened to you?" he didn't really expect an answer to his question, but he wanted to keep something between them until he was able to reach the Gundam.

"ZERO…" he hissed.

"Shut it down!"

"Can't…"

"Shit," Duo cursed pushing for more speed, "I'm almost there, just hang on!" Not wanting to give into a worst case scenario Duo told himself repeatedly Heero was just over tired, Zero under the best circumstances was seriously taxing. And he had no doubt Heero wouldn't have taken much of a break besides the one he had forced on him.

Duo could hear Heero draw in a deep breath, coughing as though it had been the first in a while, "Just…tired…" he breathed at last, though the words weren't of great comfort.

The bike screeched to a halt as Duo pulled up in front of Zero, and he jumped off without thinking, causing his right leg to nearly buckle under him. Groaning softly Duo straightened and slowed his pace a little, he had taken a bullet to his leg earlier in the day, and although it had been tended too by a field medic, that had only left it cleaned and bound. It still hurt like the devil but he refused to let it slow him down for long. After the first few days Duo had to admit he was feeling a little spoiled so it had come as a shock when the first of the armour piercing rounds had made an appearance, luckily they had only struck his arm and leg.

Pushing that all aside Duo scaled the Gundam as quickly as he could, reaching for the switch that would open the cockpit. Duo held his breath moving the minute he could get inside, "Heero!" he managed not to shout the name but there was a great deal of urgency in his voice as he dropped down in front of his friend. Heero was slumped in the chair, sweaty hair hanging limp in his eyes but he was breathing that much Duo could clearly see. And if gave a sense of relief, albeit a small one.

"Heero can you hear me?" he asked intently looking for any sort of reaction before he just reached out to touch him. When he received none Duo immediately took hold of Heero's shoulders and drew him carefully out of the seat laying him out as best he could on both the floor of the Gundam and the open cockpit door. Pressing two fingers to Heero's neck he felt for a pulse and found it to be irregular, he leaned over Heero then placing his ear to his friends chest just wanting to be absolutely sure. Hearing the heart beat against his ear Duo quickly grabbed him up settling Heero as best he could on his shoulder, it was the only way he could get them both down at once.

He was met by Eimz, Gorren and Kahlan by the time he reached the ground and gently shifted Heero to both arms. "Was he at all responsive when you got up there?" Kahlan asked immediately checking Heero's vitals as best he could.

"No already unconscious," Duo growled concerned and letting it show in his frustration.

"Zero's been causing him a lot of stress," Eimz pointed out as they moved into the hanger.

Gorren shook his head clearly sharing in at least a little of Duo's frustration "Not that he'd admit it."

"C'mon lets get him inside," Kahlan said ushering them through the hanger towards their shuttle.

"Gorren, will you let the others know?" Duo asked back over his shoulder, hearing a grunt of confirmation from behind.

WMWMWMW

"Tony," Gorren's voice spoke into the commander's ear, "Sol told me Trowa's tied up at the moment."

"He's infiltrated a safe house," Tony watched the building from their cover, his arms crossed and face firm.

"How's it looking?"

Tony shook his head, "Not great, I'm concerned they're going to discover him before he can find the one in charge."

"Duo wanted me to let you know that Heero's down, not sure what happened yet. I'm hoping for exhaustion," Gorren got to the point. "We're back at the hanger, Wufei's coming in so have Trowa make his way here when he can."

"Will do," Tony confirmed, wanting to know more about Heero, but at the moment more concerned with Trowa and getting him out of this building in one piece. They hadn't wanted to open fire on the building wanting to bring in as many men alive as they could. But it was looking more like that's exactly what they were going to have to do.

"Trowa, what your status?" Tony demanded.

"Fuck," was the only response he received at first, and it did nothing to ease his concern.

WMWMWMW

Trowa hardly heard Tony asking for another status check as his attention was far more focused on what was being said into his left ear. Tyson had been located and they now knew someone was with in the building. But they weren't reacting the way Trowa had expected, they weren't trying to track him down, and kill him. Instead a decision had been made, what it was exactly Trowa didn't know, but every voice seemed coldly resolute.

"All snipers pull back," a commanding voice repeated, it was a voice Trowa had heard before but had no name to match too it. "We'll pull them in as close as we can, everyone pull back to the main room."

Trowa had sinking suspicion about this, "Trowa what's happening, the snipers have left their positions?" Tony demanded louder into his ear.

Glancing around the hallway Trowa located a section of wires running along one edge of the ceiling, he had noticed them upon entry but hadn't thought much of them at the time. Like the fortifications they didn't say to much on their own. "They're pulling back," he responded finally still moving further down the hall.

"Are they looking for you?"

"No, they're trying to draw you in," Trowa came to an open doorway hearing no voices or sounds of life he looked within, and swore violently. The room was located roughly in the center of the structure and packed with explosives, to which the wires were connected. "They've rigged this place to explode," he warned moving away from the room.

"Trowa get out of there!" Tony's voice was commanding, but Trowa was shaking his head reaching for the radio he had been up till now just listening too.

"You can't honestly be planning to destroy this building while still inside," Trowa barked into the radio.

"If it means avoiding prosecution at your hands, and taking a few of you with us, than yes." That same cold voice informed, "We're all willing to make that sacrifice."

Trowa's long legs carried him out into the hall, emerald eyes darting around searching for options. "Tony have you pulled your men back?" he asked seeing a window down at the end of the hall, it was his best option.

"We're back, but where are you?"

"I'm making my way out," he ran down the hall feeling a rumble in the structure, the explosives were going off. Soon it felt as though the floor was nearly falling out from beneath his feet, as the blast erupted from behind him, not looking back Trowa pounded for his target, gun firing at the window as he jumped towards it. Arms up before his face to protect himself from the shattering glass, Trowa could feel the scorching fires licking at his unprotected back, as the explosion reached him throwing him from the building.

He had glanced the tree through the window only seconds before jumping, judging the distance as something he could make, had made in the circus before. This was hardly perfect circumstances, but considering the force of the blast Trowa had no difficulty reaching for the thick branches, the problem came in stopping his momentum. Thrown into the tangle of branches Trowa bit back a cry of pain as his head cracked painfully off one of the limbs and he dropped into blackness, the fire around him fading away.

WMWMWMW

"Alright lay him down over here," Kahlan instructed leading Duo into the small medical room that was on their shuttle.

Duo eased down his light burden and stepped back giving the medic some room. He was seriously concerned and more than a little pissed off that this had happened to Heero.

He wasn't supposed to push himself on this one, this was his first time back. Duo's face pulled down into a glare—not for the first time—as he watched. Kahlan fitted an oxygen mask to Heero face before he cut away the pilot's shirt so he could hook him up to a heart monitor. He then immediately began preparing an IV and Duo stepped in then, not sure how deep in unconsciousness Heero was. Would he react at feeling the prick of the needle? not a risk he was willing to take at the moment.

"Here let me hold his wrist for you," Duo offered taking hold of Heero's left arm, his lavender eyes watching Heero's lax face for any sign of waking as Kahlan inserted the needle.

"Did he say anything to you before he passed out?" Kahlan asked appearing far calmer now that he had Heero comfortably situated and properly monitored.

Duo shook his head eyes not leaving Heero, his face set in a hard expression. "No, nothing really I think he was having trouble stopping ZERO..." Heero's voice had sounded stressed, and neither Eimz nor Gorren could account for any other breaks Heero might have taken besides the one Duo had forced. His eyes narrowed again, well he had him now, he was going to keep him there!

"Hmmmm..." Kahlan mused continuing his exam, "I don't know much about the system myself, is it high stress?" he asked.

"Extreme," Duo could still clearly remember his first and only time sitting within that Gundam. It had been a lasting memory causing nightmares for weeks to come. "And as I understand Heero had done something too it when he designed it this time, made it stronger, harder to control."

Kahlan looked up a moment later, "Well he's dehydrated and clearly exhausted, and although it's only preliminary, he may have suffered a heart attack," Kahlan stepped away from Heero finally moving over to the screen that was displaying Heero's somewhat irregular heart beat.

"Damnit," Duo hissed, his anger boiling up again, and he reached for his handcuff he had attached to his belt securing one end to Heero's right wrist and the other to a bar protruding from the wall designed to help a patient sit up.

"I question the need for that," Kahlan raised an eyebrow.

"If you had been trained properly by Sally you wouldn't," he returned darkly.

"Well now that he's stable, there isn't much I can do until he wakes." Kahlan pointed out looking more closely at Duo, "I'd might as well take a look at you now, I understand you've taken a few injuries yourself."

Duo was immediately shaking his head, knowing already that he couldn't deny his injuries as field dressing on both his right arm and leg gave him away. But Duo had all but forgotten the pain of them the minute word of Heero had reached him. "That won't be necessary just yet, just worry about Heero."

"You know you can't run forever," Kahlan folded his arms across his chest.

"Perhaps not, but I prefer to choose where and when," he smiled his expression relaxing for the first time since he had brought Heero in here.

Kahlan looked unimpressed at best, but simply shrugged, "Worse for you when the time comes..." he muttered moved a few steps away from the bed to over look some tests.

Duo remained standing by Heero's side eyes studying him intently. He had come to know Heero very well over the years that they had fought together and he was pleased to see that even three years apparently hadn't dulled his senses where his friend was concerned. He knew about Heero's ability to wake himself without sounding the alarm, it was a useful gift, and one Duo envied. Kahlan was completely unaware glancing back over his shoulder at the bed, but unable to pick out the subtle changes that alerted Duo.

However even Duo was shocked when the heart monitor suddenly sounded its alarm, seconds before his eyes shot over to the small screen to confirm what he had heard. Duo saw Heero's right arm tense, as the former pilot became aware of the cuff securing him to the bed. Heero eyes had flown open a second later, and Duo hated himself for having not seen this coming and for having not thought how Heero might take to being restrained on waking. There was panic in those eyes, though it disappeared instantly well before Kahlan was at his side.

It was obvious Sally had made several things clear to Kahlan in her training, as the medic didn't immediately lay his hands on Heero but rather made an attempt to get the former pilot's attention. By this point Heero's heart rate had evened out again as much as it had before he woke, and his expression was blank. "Heero--"

That was all Duo allowed Kahlan to get out, "Could you give us a moment," he heard himself asking and was surprised.

"I really need to examine him," the medic protested immediately.

"It'll be alright, he'll still be here when I'm done," Duo wasn't waiting for agreement now, as he ushered the man out of the room and locked the door behind him.

When he turned around he saw Heero sitting up on the bed a dark expression set on his face as he jerked the cuffs a few times before turning his glare on Duo. The braided man winced slightly, he couldn't believe this hadn't occurred to him, and he could have killed himself for it. "I'm..." Duo stopped himself a second before he apologized, knowing that wouldn't improve matters with Heero. "Stupid," he chided himself as he pulled the key from his pocket and released the cuff around Heero's wrist, "I blame it on a lack of sleep."

Heero said nothing in respond but shifted further on the bed so his legs were dangling off the edge and he head was down shielding his eyes from view. Duo watched him silently for a while trying to decide what he should do next. There was no way he was going to leave his friend alone, he just got this feeling that that wasn't what Heero wanted. The Japanese man's free hand rose to massage at the bridge of his nose, and he ducked his head a little lower.

"Your head?" he asked even though it was obvious. To have found out these headaches weren't life threatening eased Duo's mind a little, still he would have preferred Heero had seen to them. Heero mutely nodded his head, and Duo reached for the light controls, shutting them off completely so only the monitors cast their meagre glow about the room. He found himself resting against a desk almost across the room from Heero, wanting to give his friend some space.

The words that came out of the darkness shocked Duo, "Does anything scare you?" but the voice was unmistakably Heero's, tired and warn thin. Completely stunned for several moments Duo tried to speak, not wanting to break this moment. He knew Heero had been struggling with something deep since the torture with Luc, they had all known it. And after the call Wufei had received from Jay it became plain that they really couldn't ignore it any longer. But still the matter of approaching Heero on the subject was far from easy.

"Sure," he said tone light not trying to brush the matter aside or belittle it, just keep things relaxed. "I'm scared of loosing my family, down right terrified of my children ever having to defend this peace..." he trailed off slowly, watching Heero intently. Something in Heero's silence, told Duo that wasn't what his friend had been searching for.

And it all suddenly clicked for him, the past year, all that had happened to Heero, all that he had suffered through. They all knew the torture had affected Heero, but Duo didn't think he had fully understood it until now. The reaction he had witnessed when Heero had awoke only confirmed what he had heard from Wufei. Apparently Heero had a similar sort of reaction while staying with Jay. Or at least something like that had to have happened for Jay to have ever found out about the torture.

It hadn't really occurred to Duo that anything could have affected his friend so deeply. The matter had been discussed a few times among the pilots. But Duo didn't think any of them really wanted to admit that any of them could be touched. However Duo could no longer deny it either to them or himself, he too had been cut deeply in the past, though he'd never have compared it to Heero's.

"To be completely honest with you, I haven't been really comfortable in space, since the day OZ shut off the oxygen to the cell Wufei and I were being held in." That had been several years ago, but Duo had woke shaking on more than one occasion, thankfully always alone. Like Heero this wasn't something he wanted commonly known.

There was silence still but Duo saw Heero shift, and he waited not sure if he should actually be expecting anything from his friend but he was certainly hoping for something. "How...did you deal?" he asked finally his voice hardly more than a harsh whisper.

Duo folded his arms across his chest slowly shaking his head, "I'm still dealing," he admitted again finding it surprisingly easy to open up to Heero about this, something only his wife knew. "I don't like waking in pitch black rooms, I don't go so far as a nightlight, but it just reminds me too much of the void of space..."

Heero's head dropped between his shoulders completely hiding his features within the shadows.

"I know it's not easy to ask for help, hell I tried to bury the feelings with alcohol, but you already know that doesn't really do much but let you forget for a short period of time." he sighed at a loss for words, he'd never expected to find himself in this position with Heero. But he was determined to help him he just didn't know how, none of them really did.

"Who could help?" it was a honest question, and perhaps one Heero didn't truly want an answer to.

"I know if doesn't do much to suggest profession help right now, no one would be able to get around the fact that you've been dead this last year to offer you real help." Duo began trying without great success to lighten his voice again. "Not sure you'd even really want to go for it if you could get it, I never really did. Spent a lot of long hours talking to Hilde though."

"She understood?"

"Not really, but she listened, and tried to comfort, that did help," he smiled at the memory, not reliving the moments of the fear, but of talking to Hilde and feeling as though he had nothing to be ashamed of.

Heero drew in a breath, "I can't…"

Duo could understand the reaction, near suffocation was truly a far cry from torture, and Relena wasn't even aware of what had happened. There had been no occasion to tell her, and it had just been better off that way. "You know you can always talk to me, I'm no professional, but I know you better than they ever will."

He felt Heero's eyes watching him from the darkness, and wasn't sure if there was appreciation in those cobalt eyes, he hoped so. But wasn't himself ready to push Heero into this, he knew how that felt. "We're all here," he added feeling a little silly for it, no doubt Heero would have known that, but he wanted his friend to be sure.

Offering Heero a few moments of silence to think it over Duo shifted where he had been leaning and watched his friend as he moved closer to the door. Where Kahlan no doubt was waiting very impatiently. "Are you up to having Kahlan look at you?" he asked knowing Kahlan wouldn't wait forever.

"Whatever…" Heero returned pulling a hand through his unruly hair.

"He's all yours," Duo greeted the anxious medic, as he lighted the room a little more so Kahlan could complete his exam.

Thanks for reading!

**Burned**:

The roar in Trowa's ears was deafening as he unwillingly rose out of the blackness he had fallen into. Unable to think clearly, Trowa had no idea how long he had been out, but he was really beginning to wish he hadn't come back. His head pounded and that wasn't the only part of him that ached, though at the moment his mind was far to clouded to make any sense of it. He couldn't even clearly remember what had brought him here, what he had been doing before the blackness.

Opening his eyes Trowa winced biting back a groan as his blurred vision cleared only so far as double. He tried to move to look around himself, instincts kicking in telling him he wasn't safe wherever it was that he was laying. Pulling his arms under himself Trowa pushed himself up through the pain so he was resting on his hands and knees, still trying to get his vision to clear.

"..Owa!" a voice shouted in the distance, Trowa barely heard it over the pounding in his ears. "Trowa!" the name was clearer this time as was the voice shouting to him.

_Tony?_ why was he shouting? Trowa reached for his right ear feeling for the ear piece that should have been there, but all he found was a torn bit of wire. Sitting back heavily Trowa tossed the useless bit of wire away and tiredly fell back against the tree he realised he had been lying under. Pain seared his back and he sat forward suddenly, frustrated that he could make sense of the situation.

"Trowa!" the voice was no longer a shout but an exclamation of relief, as Tony came rushing over to him. The former pilot shut his eyes tight in the hopes that that could possibly clear them, "Get me a medic over here now!" Tony's voice demanded and he could feel a hand lightly on his shoulder, "Trowa, look at me."

Opening his eyes again Trowa finally only saw one of everything around him, it was a small relief. "What happened?" he asked the words sounding slurred although he was sure he had spoken normally.

"The building exploded," Tony informed watching Trowa very closely, his expression worried, "Bastards did it with everyone still inside. You were right about the reinforcements. All the windows blew out, but there doesn't appear to be much structural damage."

Trowa couldn't seem to make total sense of what he was hearing and it frustrated him, he moved to push himself up wanting to get on his feet, but Tony's hands stopped him. "Just wait, you're burned and bleeding, you need to have a medic look at you." Trowa looked down at himself really for the first time, his arms were cut and bleeding, he couldn't see where on himself he was burned but vaguely remembered the pain when he had leaned against the tree.

Closing his eyes Trowa drew in a breath, hearing some commotion rise up around him. His head continued to pound but he was feeling a little more alert, although he didn't want these people around him at the moment. "Trowa can you open your eyes for me?" a new voice asked, and he could feel the man kneeling beside him.

Reluctantly he complied knowing the sooner he dealt with them the sooner he'd be alone again, and for some reason he wanted that more than anything. Upon opening his eyes a hand reached out to take hold of the side of his head and thumb his eyelid back further. Before he could react a bright light was flashed across his eye, and he struggled to get away from it, pushing the man away from him.

"Trowa!" Tony sounded surprised as he lightly restrained the former pilot's hand.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	72. Burned

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: I can't thank all of you enough for being so patient with me! Here's another chapter for you I hope you enjoy!

Thanks morgansgirl for the edit!

**Disclaimer**: I dont own Gundam Wing!

**Burned**

The roar in Trowa's ears was deafening as he unwillingly rose out of the blackness he had fallen into. Unable to think clearly, Trowa had no idea how long he had been out, but he was really beginning to wish he hadn't come back. His head pounded and that wasn't the only part of him that ached, though at the moment his mind was far to clouded to make any sense of it. He couldn't even clearly remember what had brought him here, what he had been doing before the blackness.

Opening his eyes Trowa winced biting back a groan as his blurred vision cleared only so far as double. He tried to move to look around himself, instincts kicking in telling him he wasn't safe wherever it was that he was laying. Pulling his arms under himself Trowa pushed himself up through the pain so he was resting on his hands and knees, still trying to get his vision to clear.

"..Owa!" a voice shouted in the distance, Trowa barely heard it over the pounding in his ears. "Trowa!" the name was clearer this time as was the voice shouting to him.

_Tony?_ why was he shouting? Trowa reached for his right ear feeling for the ear piece that should have been there, but all he found was a torn bit of wire. Sitting back heavily Trowa tossed the useless bit of wire away and tiredly fell back against the tree he realised he had been lying under. Pain seared his back and he sat forward suddenly, frustrated that he couldn't make sense of the situation.

"Trowa!" the voice was no longer a shout but an exclamation of relief, as Tony came rushing over to him. The former pilot shut his eyes tight in the hopes that that could possibly clear them, "Get me a medic over here now!" Tony's voice demanded and he could feel a hand lightly on his shoulder, "Trowa, look at me."

Opening his eyes again Trowa finally only saw one of everything around him, it was a small relief. "What happened?" he asked the words sounding slurred although he was sure he had spoken normally.

"The building exploded," Tony informed watching Trowa very closely, his expression worried, "Bastards did it with everyone still inside. You were right about the reinforcements. All the windows blew out, but there doesn't appear to be much structural damage."

Trowa couldn't seem to make total sense of what he was hearing and it frustrated him, he moved to push himself up wanting to get on his feet, but Tony's hands stopped him. "Just wait, you're burned and bleeding, you need to have a medic look at you." Trowa looked down at himself really for the first time, his arms were cut and bleeding, he couldn't see where on himself he was burned but vaguely remembered the pain when he had leaned against the tree.

Closing his eyes Trowa drew in a breath, hearing some commotion rise up around him. His head continued to pound but he was feeling a little more alert, although he didn't want these people around him at the moment. "Trowa can you open your eyes for me?" a new voice asked, and he could feel the man kneeling beside him.

Reluctantly he complied knowing the sooner he dealt with them the sooner he'd be alone again, and for some reason he wanted that more than anything. Upon opening his eyes a hand reached out to take hold of the side of his head and thumb his eyelid back further. Before he could react a bright light was flashed across his eye, and he struggled to get away from it, pushing the man away from him.

"Trowa!" Tony sounded surprised as he lightly restrained the former pilot's hand.

"Could be a concussion," the medic comment backing off a hair.

The fact that his brief diagnoses was directed towards Tony, only served to further Trowa's agitation. Pushing himself forward despite the pain Trowa attempted to gather himself but was once again stopped by Tony, and this time the medic as well. "Do you remember what happened?" the man asked, his focus on Trowa's cut arms working carefully to clean away the blood and expose the worst of the damage.

It would have been easy to have just recited what Tony had already told him, but he knew that wasn't what the medic was looking for. And so he thought back trying to pry through the fog to before the pain and blackness. It took some effort but he finally managed to remember being inside the building now smoking and smouldering not far off. "I had infiltrated the Inner Circle's strong house…" he trailed off frustrated at the continued slur of his words, it didn't seem quite so obvious now but it still bothered him. "They detonated the building."

"Good," the medic nodded as he began to disinfect the numerous gashes, "Can you tell me who he is?" the man briefly pointed Tony's way.

"Tony Irving," Trowa spoke with a sigh.

"And my name?"

Trowa stared at the man, his head pounding in time with the still elevated beat of his heart, had he even heard the name before? His thoughts coming to him just clearly enough to glance over the man's uniform he could at least see the medic's last name, "Vickers."

The medic nodded as he wrapped Trowa's wrist with gauze, and the former pilot's attention drifted to Tony who was kneeling behind him, "Looks like first and second degree burns," It was only then that Trowa really noticed that he had lost his shirt somewhere along the way, no doubt it had simply burned off him. The thought brought on a wave of pain, and a slight feeling of nausea which he managed to suppress.

"Lee, can you bring a vehicle over?" the question sounded odd to Trowa's ears, neither Tony nor he had ever been called Lee. And although he'd have hated to admit it aloud, he was in no shape to be driving anything. It took a moment of hard thinking to realise that Vickers had been speaking into his mike, communicating with someone back at the main base.

Drawing in what was supposed to be a calming breath Trowa tried relax, but it wasn't working. he was agitated, unnaturally tired and in pain. He didn't want to deal with any of this, if the medic or Tony noticed any of this they weren't letting it show. Once again they appeared to be discussing him as though he wasn't capable of understanding what they were saying.

"I want to get him to Kahlan, those were our orders if anything major happened," Vickers said to Tony as the medic began to look at the burns on Trowa's back.

Once again that wave of nausea returned but this time it was overwhelming and Trowa doubled over, his stomach emptying its meager contents onto the grass. There hadn't been much in him since the last time he ate but his body didn't seem to realise this, as he continued to dry heave for what felt like hours, before his system finally settled back down. He rested on his hands and knees drawing in slow breaths, his throat raw his eyes watering. He felt more drained than he had before and just wanted to let his eyes close and fall back into that black abyss.

"Stay with us Trowa," the medic called, "You've definitely suffered a concussion, I need you stay awake, alright?"

Scrubbing at his mouth with the back of his left hand Trowa mutely nodded, "Here," Tony materialised in front of him and offered a bottle of water.

"Let's get him into the van, it won't take us that long to get to the main hanger." Vickers moved to Trowa's left while Tony remained on his right. He wanted to push them both aside but seriously doubted his legs would support him at the moment.

WMWMWMW

Wufei stepped up into the shuttle and was met by Duo, who was looking a little the worse for wear with the field dressings on his arm and leg, he had undone the front of his coat, his exposed chest displaying several dark bruises. "Sally's going to be happy to see you," the pilot commented dryly.

"No doubt," Duo chuckled softly, holding a hand to his ribs as he did, "Heero's in the back room sleeping," he informed gesturing with his thumb in the direction.

"Do you know what happened?" Wufei asked making his way down the narrow hall.

"So far as Kahlan can tell, he suffered a heart attack, Zero was putting him under a lot of stress for too long." Duo's voice lowered as the walked into the small room at the end of the hall. Within where two beds one occupied by the sleeping pilot the other stood empty. Kahlan looked up from his work, he had been settling Heero into place, making sure nothing could catch on the IV, and that the heart monitor was connected properly.

Heero didn't look that bad, tired and a little dehydrated, "How's he doing?" he asked the medic.

"Stable, exhausted, but he should be alright," Kahlan assured.

Wufei breathed a sigh of relief at that, he hadn't been able to get here fast enough when word of Heero's condition had reached him. And he had cursed himself for having not paid more attention to how much Heero was doing, and what toll it could have taken, or did take. Not that the thought of pressing Heero about how he was doing would have gone over all that well, this was after all his first mission back, and he was proving himself.

"Guys," Eimz's voice spoke into Wufei's ear, and by the reactions of the other two theirs as well. "Trowa's coming in, he's hurt pretty bad." A moment later the tech appeared in the doorway, "He ought to be here in about five minutes."

Duo and Kahlan were already moving towards the front of the shuttle, Wufei glanced back towards Heero. Not entirely comfortable with leaving his friend alone, and glad for the moment that Heero was asleep, so he wouldn't know what he was about to say. "Could you stay here with him?" he asked the tech, wanting to see with his own eyes how bad Trowa was.

"Sure," Eimz's agreed immediately.

"Just make sure he doesn't wake without knowing you're there," Wufei's lips twitched up a little, "It might be a little hard to tell, but when he does can you get me?" the man nodded in response looking just a little unsure as he glanced over to Heero. He stepped towards the still opened door but a thought stopped him, "Did you give Ash the info?"

Eimz looked a little surprised, "No, I'll take care of that now, you go on Trowa will be here soon."

Nodding his thanks, Wufei made his way down the hall, just in time to see Tony bring a pale Trowa in. The taller man was seriously banged up, both arms wrapped thickly with bandages, and he was missing his shirt, revealing that his back and been burned. Kahlan moved in to assist Tony in leading Trowa into the infirmary. "He's suffered a concussion, first and second degree burns," Tony was filling the medic in as Wufei leaned against the doorway not wanting to crowed the room further.

Trowa's expression was a dark one, he looked exhausted and about ready to explode, both by products of a serious concussion. "Man Trowa what happened to you?" Duo asked maintaining a light tone, not wanting to enflame the situation. But Wufei hoped he wouldn't actually be expecting an answer.

He didn't receive one as Kahlan began his exam, keeping up a constant stream of questions, he too didn't receive much of a response. But kept it up despite that, more determined to keep Trowa awake than actually speak to him, concussions were dangerous and unpredictable. Tony finally stepped back towards the door, "You'll give me an update?"

Wufei nodded once and took Tony's place near the exam table, looking to Duo before he turned his full attention on Trowa. "Why don't you got take a break yourself, you look about ready to drop."

"I'm not dropping before you, but I could use something to eat," Duo chuckled as he walked out of the infirmary the door sliding shut behind him.

"This is going to need stitches," Kahlan informed glancing up from the deep gash he had just finished cleaning hidden within Trowa's hairline. Wufei glanced over his shoulder and sucked in a breath receiving a disgruntled look from Trowa for it. "I'll freeze it but unfortunately I can't give you any pain killers right now, not with the concussion."

Trowa looked about ready to drop and Wufei wasn't sure if his presence was even appreciated, but he supposed it didn't really matter so long as the former pilot remained awake. "You heard about Heero?" he asked drawing Trowa's attention to him as Kahlan began his painful work on the head injury.

"What happened?" Trowa asked tone irritated. Wufei drew in a breath this was going to be a very unpleasant trip back.

WMWMWMW

"Heero you awake?"

It was an odd sense to wake in an unfamiliar room with an unfamiliar presence seated beside him, but to immediately know the voice speaking to him. "Eimz?" he questioned, rousing himself further so he could open his eyes, only to see the tech breath a sigh of relief. Heero felt drained, and knew he really hadn't slept for long, though he still felt better than he had when he woke in the infirmary. His chest felt a little tight, but he was breathing easier and the pain in his left arm had faded.

Eimz cleared his throat a little awkwardly shifting in his seat. He had sounded completely relaxed over the com system to see him fidget now appeared odd to Heero. "Wufei ask me to sit with you until you woke," the brown eyed man looked a bit more unsure of himself, and laughed a little sheepishly. "I've been asking if you were awake for the last twenty minutes, he told me to make sure you knew I was here before you fully woke."

Heero pulled his elbows beneath him making to push himself up from the bed, "Where are the others?" he asked rather surprised that one of them hadn't been sitting in Eimz's place.

"Are you alright?" Eimz asked back instead coming to his feet hands poised to stop him though that was as far as they went. "Should you be sitting up?"

He glanced about the small room, feeling a little light headed for a few seconds, but that sensation at least passed quickly. "I'm fine," Heero responded immediately a little surprised that he didn't feel the same being faced with these, all too familiar questions when coming from someone like Eimz and not Ash.

The tech looked less than convinced from where he stood watching, "You're sure? I heard you suffered a heart attack, maybe I should go get Kahlan?"

"No, I'm alright," he indulged, sitting a little straighter leaning back against the wall. The heart monitor attached to his chest still beeped at a slightly irregular rate, but despite that Heero felt alright.

Eimz leaned a little closer as though to see through a potential lie, and after a second blinked and reach out a hand to slap against Heero's shoulder. "Don't scare me like that!" he chastised leaving Heero feeling more than a little stunned. "I was just about positive you'd died on me," Eimz dropped back onto his chair.

Heero raised an eyebrow at that, "I've been 'dead' for the past year," he wondered what difference it would actually make to the rest of the world if it were true.

"And to have that happen on my watch?!" Eimz was incredulous, but he seemed to have relaxed a little taking Heero's previous comment as a joke as he was not smiling himself. "Besides I don't want to get blamed for this."

The former pilot shook his head, "I'll be taking the brunt of this," he wasn't particularly looking forward to returning to earth. "You pushed for breaks, I just didn't take them."

"I'd been told how stubborn you can be," Eimz chuckled, "Don't really know what they expect me to do about it if you weren't going to listen." He looked a little thoughtful, "I suppose I could have gone to the other pilots…"

"Rather glad you didn't," he massaged at his brow, the pain behind his eye a little more aggressive that it had been a moment ago.

"Yeah, Gorren was telling me you didn't seem all that pleased when Duo found you," Eimz produced a bottle of water from somewhere beside him and offered it to Heero.

Heero accepted the offered water and took a moment to wet his mouth, "Where are the others?" he was a little surprised to have been awake for around twenty minutes and to not have seen them yet.

"Waiting for you to wake so we could chew you out over having a heart attack," Ashs voice answered the question from behind Wufei as he stepped into the small room, Ash following not a full step behind. His expression showing immediate relief to see his friend awake.

Eimz stood looking all of a sudden a little awkward again, "I should be getting back to my work…"

"Thanks Eimz," the tech nodded mutely to Wufei and after casting one last glance Heero's way walked from the room.

"Damn Heero," Ash shook his head dropping down into the seat Eimz had vacated, his left arm was in a sling, and he winced as he settled back,

"What happened to you?" Heero was quick to ask before they started asking how he was feeling.

Ash looked over at his arm expression hard to read, "Duo shot me."

"Huh…" Heero grunted, "Bad habit of his."

Ash laughed, but it quickly turned into a pained groan, as he tried to support his arm. "I'm sure Kahlan has something he can give you for the pain," Wufei pointed out.

"Maybe later," he turned his focus to Heero, "How are you feeling?"

"Where's Zero?" he asked instead wondering how long he'd be able to dodge the question. Seeing the small grin that pulled up at the edges of Ash's lips he could see that this would be a challenge.

"Still safely in our hold," Wufei assured, "We'll be moving it out into space to destroy soon."

"You know you won't be able to dodge my question forever," Ash warned.

"And all the information on it?" that was something of concern to Heero, he didn't want to think that any piece no matter how small of the schematics could be left somewhere that anyone could find.

Wufei sat down on the edge of the other bed, "We've been searching the colony for anything related to the reaction of Zero, it seems like more of it was kept to the bunker where it was built, and all that has been wiped clean."

"So that just leaves our memories…" Heero breathed darkly, "We've all seen how safe those are…"

Neither Wufei nor Ash seemed to have much to say in response to that, and a moment of silence steeled between them. Heero was not about to let it linger for too long, still wanting to put off the inevitable, "Where's Trowa?" He hadn't heard anything about the last pilot since waking.

"He's in the infirmary," Wufei answered, "Members of the Inner Circle destroyed a safe house while he was still inside. He suffered a serious concussion, some burns along with cuts and bruises."

Heero shifted pulling his legs up from beneath the blankets intent on getting to his feet to go and see his friend. But Wufei and Ash certainly had other ideas about that, the former was on his feet in an instant blocking Heero's path, while the latter shifted to the edge of his seat. "Just stay put for now, it hasn't even been eight hours since you suffered a heart attack, give yourself a break," Wufei reasoned looking to have escaped the mission in perfect health. Heero didn't actually consider him lucky, chances were Sally would attempt to turn him inside out just to prove him wrong.

The Japanese man settled back again not really in a mood to fight them over it, besides that he wasn't sure his legs would support him. Ash was on his feet then as though Heero were getting up despite what Wufei said. But instead of moving to stop Heero who wasn't moving, he made for the door, "I've got to get Kahlan something's definitely wrong."

"Ash," there was a warning note in Heero's voice.

"What?" he came a step back, "You're not fighting us, clearly something must be wrong, you need a doctor!"

Wufei made to cover a grin behind his hand, as Heero fixed his friend with a dark glare, "What I need is a computer."

"You're supposed to be resting," Wufei countered.

"I am, but I want my laptop," this was something he'd fight them on if they decided to be unreasonable.

"Try and get some more sleep, I'll bring it in when you wake, fair?" the former pilot asked standing up from his seat.

Heero thought it over for a moment and nodded his head in agreement, he could deal with that. He was tried enough to go back to sleep, and seriously doubted that he'd have done much on the laptop had it been given to him right now. "When do we leave?" he asked as he began to settle back on the narrow bed.

"In a few hours," Wufei confirmed, "There's a few things left to settle, but Kahlan wants to get Trowa back to Earth, and not doubt Sally's going to be wanting to see all of you."

"What about you?" Heero returned with a raised eyebrow, looking his friend over again trying to see what might have been hiding beneath clothes.

Wufei smirked a little shaking his head, "You're as distrusting as Sally."

"Well you know she's not about to take fine as a legitimate answer," he pointed out then, drawing a seriously incredulous look from Ash.

"Then why are you so damn attached to it?!" Ash demanded gesturing with his good arm.

Heero chose to ignore that question, and refocus his attention on Wufei, who looked rather confident, "She can't find what isn't there."

"Doesn't mean you'll escape the harassment," if one of them had to suffer, they all should, though Heero wasn't so sure he'd be so willing to agree to that if he were the one who was fine. But that was the fun of their little game, try to avoid Sally while putting each other in her line of sight.

"Well I can certainly try," he took a step towards the door drawing their conversation to a close while doing so. "Are you going to sleep in here Ash?"

"Yeah might as well," he cast a glance back in Wufei's direction as he got to his feet and moved over to the second bed.

Heero settled himself down on the pillow, allowing himself to feel drained again, not fighting his body's need for more sleep. He now knew what was going on and could rest easy in that knowledge. "I have a few errands to run, but Kahlan ought to be by in a little while to check on Heero," although still awake Wufei seemed to be directing his comments to Ash, perhaps thinking a few seconds was all it would take for him to drop off. "I'll make sure he brings you something for the pain as well." The blackness rose up, and Heero drew in a slow calming breath.

WMWMWMW

Wufei left the room at the end of the hall quietly closing the door behind him, and quickly walked down to the infirmary. He was a little surprised to see Duo sitting in the room resting only a little uncomfortably on the other unoccupied exam table. His coat had been removed revealing the extent of the damage he had received. "Finally getting yourself seen too?" it was a rhetorical question.

Duo smiled a little lopsidedly, "Now's as good a time as any," his expression sobered a second later, "How's Heero doing?"

"He seems alright, tired, but he was asking for his computer," Wufei informed.

Kahlan's head came up at the last part of his statement, he had been looking over some files, "He should be resting."

"He is, I told him I'd bring the laptop to him when he wakes next," he smiled a little, "He was fast asleep before I even left the room, don't think he realised just how tired he was."

The medic exhaled, "Good, you all need rest," he sniffed looking pointedly at each of them.

"Something tells me I'm about to get more of it than I want," Duo chuckled looking over the array of implements Kahlan had laid out for the extraction of the bullets.

"Which leads me to wonder when will you be ready?" Kahlan asked an eyebrow raised as he looked at Wufei.

"Nothing you need to be concerned about here," he was quick to assure, though not too quick, raising his arms from his body, "I haven't been cut, shot, or blown up."

"Impressive," Kahlan commented sounding a little distracted as he left the file behind and moved closer to Duo. "Take off the pants as well, I could always cut them off of you, but that seems like a waste of effort."

Duo rolled his eyes but complied standing up to begin taking off the thick material. Wufei turned his attention then towards Trowa who still occupied the other table, he was laying on his stomach head turned away from the room. An IV line had been fed directly into his neck considering the damage his arms had received. He had been stripped of his clothes and from the waist down was covered by a blanket, leaving his burned flesh exposed. Walking over to his friend Wufei got a clearer look at Trowa's features and thought they looked a little flushed considering how pale Trowa had been when he arrived. Tentatively reaching out his left hand Wufei lay fingers against his friend's warm flesh.

"Kahlan did you know he has a fever?" he asked glancing back to see Duo hesitate in lying back on the bed to cast a concerned look Trowa's way.

"That's not surprising with all he's been through," the medic assured guiding Duo down the rest of the way. "Don't worry, I'll be keeping a close watch on him, this will put you out for a while, no doubt you could withstand this awake, but I just can't stand the idea." The last of his words washed over Wufei as he went back to watching Trowa, knowing Kahlan's attention was more completely focused on Duo.

Several moments passed before Wufei broke the silence, "How long are you going to let him sleep before waking him?" he turned back to the other side of the room and walked over to where Kahlan worked on an unconscious Duo.

"Not too much longer," his expression skewed as he worked over his patient, "Say are you right handed or left handed?"

"Right," Wufei blinked.

"So Trowa's the only natural lefty…" Kahlan mused to himself not looking up.

The Chinese man shrugged, it wasn't really saying much for any of them, they were almost equally good with both hands, they just naturally gravitated towards one over the other. "What brought that on?" he inquired.

Kahlan shrugged, "Curiosity, I don't remember reading anywhere."

"Will he be capable of piloting the shuttle when you're done with him?" it was a thought that had been floating around his head for a while now. And He had thought he'd missed the opportunity to ask when Kahlan had begun his work, but it seemed he wasn't to be distracted by a little conversation.

"I wouldn't recommend it, but when has that stopped any of you from doing what you want?"

"If you don't recommend it, than I'm going to find us another pilot while he's still out," Wufei strode towards the door. "He won't have much to say once he wakes, my cells on call me if anything comes up."

"Will do," the medic assured.

He hesitated a moment then, "When you go to check on Heero can you bring Ash something for his pain?" Kahlan nodded waving him off, with a bloody glove.

Stepping outside of the shuttle Wufei drew his right wrist up from his side, the limb throbbing painfully as a reminder to his lies. It wasn't anything extreme, and no doubt Sally would find it, but he doubted there was much she could do beyond what he had already done. So he was content to keep the information to himself and let Kahlan worry about the others.

Wufei left the shuttle behind, wandering among the agents and larger shuttles not exactly sure who he was searching for. There was a lot of activity in the large hanger as agents moved about, transporting prisoners, and gathered further information. Wufei was a little surprised at how many members of the Inner Circle they had been able to detain, none of them had really any way of knowing how many their were. He felt confident in saying that they had found all of them, Heero had been nearly positive that the Inner Circle hadn't settled themselves anywhere other than Freedom's Point. And right now they hadn't received or interrogated anything to contradict that.

"Wufei!" a familiar voice called out to him, and the former pilot turned to see not one but two familiar faces.

"Ryan, Anderson," it was no surprise to him that Relena short time guards where on this mission, but up till now he hadn't run into them.

"Maybe you can settle our bet," Anderson smiled, having been the one to call out to Wufei.

"And just how much money's been wagered?" he asked curiously.

"Someone," Ryan thumbed in his friend's direction, "Doesn't actually want to place money on his guess."

Anderson folded his arms across his chest, "Just who's in your shuttle Wufei?"

"Duo, Trowa, Kahlan and Ash…" he watched both men for any sort of reaction, "Why?"

"Because none of them would require the shutting down of the hanger for nearly an hour," Ryan responded immediately, "So we figured someone important must be on there. I think it's the leader of the Inner Circle."

"I don't even think we know who the leader is," Anderson put in his guess, "But an informant might need protection."

"And if you're both wrong?" Wufei returned ignoring for the moment that Anderson wasn't really all that far off from the truth.

"Then who is it?" it was an impulsive question from Ryan, he had to have known Wufei wouldn't readily tell him if they had went through the trouble of hiding the person's identity.

"Classified," he shrugged apologetically.

"Figures…" Ryan grumbled.

Wufei was about to wave them off, when a thought suddenly occurred to him, "Anderson are you still current in your shuttle training?" he seemed to recall reading in the man's file over a year back at he had training in shuttle piloting.

"Yeah, you need a pilot?" he sounded a little incredulous, no doubt unable to imagine Duo giving over the stick to anyone.

"Duo's been injured," Wufei informed but was quick to add, "He'll be alright but Kahlan wants him resting not worrying about landing a shuttle."

"I can help you there," the agent assured, and a mischievous light entered his eyes, "Does this mean I'll find out who the top secret passenger is?"

Ryan looked equally interested, and Wufei looked at the both of them with a blank expression, "You wouldn't believe me even if I told you."

"Bah! That's a copout!" Anderson accused pointing a finger, and Wufei wondered what exactly would happen if he did come out and tell them.

Part of him wanted to just say it right here and now, but knew this wasn't the best place. It wouldn't be too much longer before the rest of the world knew that Heero Yuy was in fact alive and in good standing with the Earth Defence Corp. But for the moment Wufei wanted to keep it to as few people as possible. "Come with me," he instructed walking further away from the shuttle searching out a specific person now.

Tony proved a more difficult challenge than the pilot had been, but still Wufei managed to track him down. He wished he hadn't removed his radio, but considering the completion of the mission there wasn't much point to still be wearing it, besides that he was scheduled to leave soon. It didn't make sense to leave himself available if he was just going to be shipping out. In the end he found Tony standing in the shadow of Zero, speaking with a few other agents. Both Anderson and Ryan cast amazed glances up at the Gundam.

"Wufei, how's Trowa doing?" Tony ask patting the shoulder of one agent as a dismissal as Wufei came to a stop near him.

"Stable and resting, though he's in one hell of a mood," the Chinese man winced at the thought of having to wake his friend to make sure he was okay.

Tony nodded his head in understanding, "And the others?" his eyes didn't glance to Anderson and Ryan as he spoke but Wufei knew he was acutely aware of them.

"Same, stable," he folded his arms across his chest, being subtly careful of his right wrist as he did so, "We'll be leaving soon, I was hoping I could leave the destruction of Zero, in your hands."

"No problem, I'm already getting started on it, I have techs down in the bunker wiping everything clean."

"Good," Wufei didn't think that would completely ease Heero's mind, but it'd help, "Come see me when you get back, we'll have a drink."

"Sounds like a plan," Tony smiled and nodding once walked off towards a crowd of agents.

"Damn bastard!" Anderson growled looking up at the Gundam.

"I do believe its an inanimate object, and one that helped us a lot during this mission," Wufei commented dryly.

Anderson scowled, "You know who I'm talking about, he built it!"

"That he did," he agreed easily, "And he piloted it too." He seriously doubted they'd take him literally, and he smiled to himself as he walked away. It was impossible to imagine what they're reactions would actually be like, but he'd find out soon enough.

Thanks for Reading!

**I Dont Believe You**:

Walking across the small room Wufei came to a stop at Trowa's side, the former pilot continued to sleep as though Kahlan had never woke him. Wufei trusted in the medic that he had, and that Trowa was for the time being stable. Although he wanted to wake him just to be sure, instead he seated himself beside the bed and reached for his cell, knowing Quatre would probably appreciate a personal call. And if Trowa become unruly perhaps hearing another friendly voice might calm him. Wufei wasn't holding his breath on that one.

Not knowing where Quatre would be at this time of day, Wufei hand no idea how long he would have to let the phone ring before he could receive and answer. As it turned out he wasn't made to wait long. "Hello?" Quatre asked politely into the phone.

"Thought you might like to know the mission's complete," he said leaning back in the chair so his arm could rest on his abdomen with the icepack still securely held over it.

"Wufei!" Quatre's voice held a clear note of relief in it, "I was just about to contact Une and see if there was any news, how is everyone?"

"We're all still breathing," he said at first lightening his tone so as not to worry the president. He then launched into a brief explanation of the injuries and how they had happened, his tone was very matter of fact, he didn't know if Quatre would find that at all reassuring but as things stood he had already said all this once before.

When he had finished Quatre breathed a sigh of relief, "I'm glad everyone's okay, I'll be making a trip to Earth shortly after you arrive. I want to be there when the announcements are made."

It was a legitimate reason to come down to Earth for a time, he wondered if Heero would appreciate them being around him for that. He didn't get the impression that Heero wanted the world to know that he was alive, why that was exactly Wufei hadn't thought to ask. But he got the distinct impression that what was to happen after this mission was something Heero was trying not to think to much about. "Do you regret not being able to come?" Wufei asked suddenly looking over to Duo for a moment before he eyes returned to Trowa, neither man stirred.

"After I heard what happened to all of you?" He could hear the smile in Quatre's voice, "Kind of glad I'm so well tied down."

"Figures."

"Have you spoken to all of them since the incidents?" Quatre asked that note of concern layering his voice thickly.

"Yeah, at least once," he confirmed, "Duo most recently, I want to wake Trowa but I doubt he's going to be in the mood for talking. He punched Kahlan."

He caught a surprised snort which the president tried to cover with a cough, "So now he's passed the job to you?"

"Lucky me, I get to be Trowa's favorite from now on," he returned dryly and got to his feet, "Give me a moment will you?" he kept the phone to his ear, as he looked down at Trowa's face. He hoped his familiar presence would be enough to relax Trowa but just in case he wasn't about to reach out an touch his friend. "Trowa?" he called his friends name as loudly as he dared hoping that would be enough. The former pilot didn't so much a flicker a muscle, "Trowa," this time he spoke the name more forcefully, "You need to wake up."

"'uck Off…" came a slightly slurred reply sounding more than a little irate.

"Sorry my friend," Wufei leaned over Trowa looking to see if his eyes were opened, "It's going to happen a lot."

"Go…away…" he didn't seem in the least bit prepared to 'get used to it', he was irritated and not up to putting up with any of it.

"In a minute," he promised, wanting to be sure Trowa was coherent, "What color do blue and red make?"

His answer was a few minutes, "Light…or pigment?"

Wufei chuckled "I've got Quatre one the phone, do you want to hear from him?" A tiny nod was all Wufei received as an answer, but it was clear Trowa was understanding him and was indeed awake even if his eyes remained closed. "Alright Quatre," he said just before placing the phone to Trowa's ear.

What Quatre said Wufei couldn't catch, no doubt he was speaking softly in deference tothe serious headache Trowa no doubt had. What Trowa said in returned was altogether clear, if not still a little slurred. "I'm…being good…" he tone sounded like he was protesting something, "Won't quit…poking…me." Wufei chuckled quietly at that, Trowa's voice was beginning to sound a little more distant, like he was slipping back into the sleep he had been pulled from, "Right…" was the last thing he said.

Wufei put the phone back to his ear and sat back down, "I'll be down as soon as I can," Quatre's voice was grave.

"He's in good hands," he assured knowing it wasn't really necessary, "But he'll be happy to see you," They all would.

Morganeth Tarendrel


	73. I Don't Believe You

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: I know it's been a long time, and I want to thank everyone for being patient with me. Life hasn't been easy, and unfortunately I can't honestly say when that's going to change. So I'm going to do my best to post when I can, I have every intention of finishing this story. Since I've been working on it for 7 years I think it would really suck to suddenly quit. Again thank you all!!

Thanks to **morgansgirl** for the editing!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing

**I Don't Believe You**

Wufei lead the way back onto the shuttle almost an hour after he had left, both Anderson and Ryan following a step behind him. The two had been partners almost from the moment they had entered the agency. And considering the role both of them had played in the events leading up to this moment, Wufei thought it best to have them both present when he broke the news. Hiding a smirk from view Wufei wondered how best to tell them, certainly not until they were in space. He had wanted to say something earlier when Anderson had made his comments towards Zero, but that hadn't been the place for it.

"So when do we find out who's on board?" Ryan asked rubbing his hands together eagerly, his eyes glanced about the main room as though hoping to tell just from that.

"Took you long enough," Kahlan's voice spoke from down the hall, "Heero woke up again…" he trailed off coming around the corner massaging a welt on his jaw, only to see the two men standing with Wufei.

The former pilot reached for the lock on the shuttle door securing it firmly behind them, he didn't really think Anderson and Ryan would bolt but he wanted to be sure. The truth about Heero would be coming out sooner or later, but out of respect for his friend he wanted to keep it to as few people as possible. Wufei was met with shocked expressions from both men, along with Kahlan, who looked concerned on top of that.

Wufei waved him off, "Had to happen sometime," personally he would have preferred for it to have happened once they were out in space. But it really didn't make that much of a difference.

"I couldn't have heard you right…" Ryan said shaking his head adamantly.

"And if you did?" Wufei returned immediately with a raised eyebrow, gesturing with his left hand towards Kahlan to let him know it was alright.

"That bastard can't be alive!" Anderson shook his head expression hard.

Wufei folded his arms carefully unconsciously being careful of his right wrist, "I'd bring you in and show you but I'd rather not have to shoot you for attacking him.

Anderson's fists clenched his face turning red, "No fucking way!"

Suppressing the urge to sigh, and smack the both of them upside the head, Wufei drew in a breath, "Can you even consider for a moment that Heero was never a traitor?" if they couldn't do that, there'd be a problem. No doubt Anderson would still be able to pilot them back to earth, but if just these two men couldn't accept—forgetting for the moment that they had more personal dealings with Heero—it didn't exactly bode well for announcing to the rest of the world.

Ryan dropped down nearly boneless into one of the empty chairs, "After what he did to Ms Peacecraft?" he shook his head, "It's not possible."

"_Agent_ Yuy had been in deep cover for four years," he stressed the fact, his tone leaving no room for arguments, and continued before they could get a word out. "Gathering intel on the Inner Circle. We have him to thank for their discovery, and whether you like it or not, chances are he's saved your life at least once today while he piloted Zero." Even for Wufei it was difficult to say these words as though they were the truth, that they had known what Heero was doing from day one. That they had managed to act, as he knew they couldn't. He wished it was really true…

For several moments neither said a word, just looked at each other before going back to Wufei, as though trying to see through him to be sure he was telling the truth. They even looked to Kahlan who simply nodded his head in confirmation. There really wasn't much more to do but wait for them to accept the truth. "Just when the hell were you planning to tell us?" Anderson growled raking a hand through his hair.

"Once the mission was complete and there was no risk to blow Heero's cover."

"Shit," Ryan swore head dropping as he clearly continued to struggle with it all.

"I can't believe it!" Anderson spat adamantly.

"No what you can't do is let go of a grudge," the former pilot pointed out, he could understand how much their pride had been hurt when Heero took them and Relena, in the one place they were sure she should be safe. An idea occurred to him then, it wasn't something he actually expected would help the situation but he supposed it couldn't hurt either. "I suppose I owe you an apology since we put you into that cabin with Relena last year."

"You knowingly put Relena in direct danger?" he was incredulous and for good reason too, Wufei knew Anderson was no fool.

His mind raced for a way to answer, and he cursed himself for having brought it up, although he didn't doubt that one of them would have asked sooner or later. "Heero wasn't supposed to be a part of that mission, if he hadn't been there you two would have been more than enough." He wasn't entirely sure of that but it was the best he could do.

"So why was he there?" Ryan shot back immediately.

"There wasn't any way out of it, not without looking suspicious," Wufei didn't feel the need to add that Heero's knowing the location of the cottage had been the key stone in it all. That would have just lead to further problems.

There was a momentary silence, "I want to see him!" it wasn't a request as Ryan got to his feet.

"Absolutely not," it was Kahlan who spoke up this time, taking a protective stance at the hall that lead to Heero's room. "He's resting at the moment, and I want it to stay that way."

"How many other people know?" his voice was a little more controlled now, though his eyes flickered to the hall that Kahlan guarded.

"Only a select few, you're now among them," he doubted that knowledge would help them. "Now will you still be able to pilot? Or am I going to have to find someone else. For the time being you won't be able to leave of course, we're still trying to keep this thing contained."

The debate of his emotions played out on his face, and for a moment Wufei was nearly positive his answer would be no. But finally he drew himself up, "Fine…but I want to see him at some point."

"That can be arranged," Wufei agreed, he'd most certainly be present in the room at that time. "We've been cleared to leave immediately," it was a not so subtle direction for the two of them to make their way to the cockpit. With some reluctance they did so, and Wufei turned towards Kahlan breathing a sigh of relief as he did.

"Sorry about that…" the medic apologised, "I guess I really wasn't thinking."

"No damage done," he assured, "Although with those two I would have looked for a better way to do it…"

"They seemed a little bit more bitter than most," Kahlan agreed although it was an understatement.

Wufei nodded his head in agreement looking the medic's face over, "What happened to you? Heero punch you?" that wouldn't have surprised the former pilot much.

"No," Kahlan winced again shifting his jaw carefully, "Trowa, tell you what you wake him next time, he's in a fine mood."

"Just the concussion talking," Wufei could understand how his friend was feeling, having been in the same boat more than once.

"I'll be ready to launch in about fifteen minutes," Anderson announced over the radio.

"I suppose we should take out seats," Kahlan stepped towards the nearest one and hesitated for a moment, "Oh, before I forget, here," he tossed something small over to Wufei. He reached out to catch it swiftly in his left hand curious to see what it was, "I thought you said you're right handed…"

Wufei's head came up expression blank, "I am, doesn't mean I don't know how to use my left."

"I just find it odd that you wouldn't use your primary hand when caught off guard," the medic's eyes were far too intent for Wufei's liking.

Wufei lowered himself into a seat, Kahlan quickly sitting across from him, "What makes you think I was caught off guard?"

"Enough with the playing games, I know you've done something to your right arm, so take off your coat and glove. Let me take a look at it," Sally had indeed trained him very well if he was catching such small things, "She wasn't kidding when she told me you'd try to hide everything, tell me what's the point?"

Leaning back in his chair Wufei made no effort to do what he had been asked, "The point is I don't need to be fussed over, and not everything that happens needs medical attention. Sally would damn near have us coming to her for ever scrape."

"Only because you'd ignore a broken bone to save yourselves a trip to the infirmary," Kahlan leaned forward appearing content to play this little game, until his eyes narrowed, "Now off with it."

"It's only a sprain," Wufei knew the more he denied the worse it could be for him when he got back.

"I don't care," he waited clearly not backing down.

Refusing to sigh in defeat, it wasn't really a defeat, he could have held the medic at bay for the entire trip back. What this was, was a strategic withdrawal to avoid further injury when dealing with Sally when they got back. He removed his right glove slowly before reaching for the zipper of his coat. Getting the left one off was a little more difficult than the other but he managed without assistance and slipped off his coat.

Kahlan reached for his bound arm the second it was free, and began unwrapping the tensor bandage, "When did this happen?"

Wufei thought back, "Happened on the first day, the 30th."

"How'd it happen?" his eyes were down as he continued, Wufei's wrist throbbed and you could clearly see the outlines of where the bandage had been.

"Fell on it wrong," he didn't see much point in going into the details none of that changed what happened.

The medic began probing the swollen limb eyes flickering up to Wufei's face looking for an expression of pain. It wasn't exactly comfortable, but neither was unbearable, in comparisons to being shot twice it wasn't even worth mentioning. Kahlan clearly seemed to think otherwise, "Wufei I can tell just by looking at this that you've injured it, but unless you start acknowledging when it hurts and how much I'm going to be forced to strap it to your chest in order to keep you from damaging it more."

That raised an eyebrow, had Sally really taught him this well, he couldn't begin to imagine when or where she had found the time to train this one so thoroughly. He wondered briefly if Kahlan would follow through on his threat, but for his future sake—when dealing with Sally—he thought better of it. "It started to swell almost immediately, I can still fire a gun but find it too awkward to use for other tasks." He chose his words carefully noting the way Kahlan's eyes rolled when he mentioned the gun.

"How much can you move it without feeling pain?" the medic asked then, not releasing Wufei's arm but taking hold of it further up for the former pilot could demonstrate his range of motion. The shuttle shuddered into motion as Anderson began departing from Freedom's Point and Wufei made a mental note to contact both Une and Dante when Kahlan was finished with him.

Shifting his wrist as much as he could, the pain wasn't much but Wufei wasn't fool enough to force the limb when he knew it had been injured. "I've iced it a couple of times, when I had a chance," and when no one would notice, but he chose not to add that little fact.

Kahlan made a sound of disapproval in the back of his throat, as he took a gentle hold of Wufei's wrist again. "You shouldn't have been using it after that happened, wait here I'm going to get you an ice pack and a stiff brace."

Wufei watched the medic leave the main room and disappear down the hall before he got to his feet and walked over to the communication station. Using both hands, albeit his right very stiffly, Wufei opened a duel line of communication with both Une's office and Dante's, easier to just speak to both of them at once. They had both been kept abreast of the situation by the commanders of the mission, but up until now Wufei hadn't had the opportunity to speak with either of them. Like the other pilots he had been pulling more hours than most.

He wondered if while he was at it he might as well speak with Sally as well, had Heero not suffered a heart attack he wouldn't have even considered it. However he was seriously concerned with what the stress of re-entry might do to him, so he knew at some point during their twelve hour trip back he'd be speaking with her. As it turned out the decision was made for him as Sally was present in Une's office when the link went up.

"Wufei," Une greeted with a nod of her head, "I take it this means you're on your way back?"

"We've just departed from the colony," he confirmed.

"I take it then Ash is still with you?" Dante questioned, from his office on Freedom's Point.

"He's resting," Wufei nodded, wondering now if Ash had even told Dante he'd be leaving with them.

"He'd been planning on going back with you for a while now," Dante informed as though reading the question from Wufei's face.

Sally leaned forward in her seat, "How is everyone?" it must had just killed her that she wasn't present for this, but she had given Heero her word.

"Breathing," the expression he received for his one word appraisal was exactly what he had been expecting. Under three sets of very watchful eyes, Wufei launched into a listing of the injuries sustained, keeping Heero's till the end knowing it would involve further discussion which Kahlan should be present for.

"And Heero?" Sally asked not looking the least bit pleased by the time Kahlan had finally re-entered the room.

"He appears to have suffered a heart attack," the medic responded crossing over to where Wufei was sitting. He was carrying the icepack in one hand and the brace in the other, Kahlan leveled an unimpressed look Wufei's way, "Thought I told you to stay put."

The former pilot chose not to respond to that, and looked back to the monitors knowing the conversation wasn't going to be about him for a while. "Heart attack?" Sally looked shocked, "How did that happen?"

"Stress from piloting Zero," Wufei answered, he had every confidence that Heero would be fine with some rest.

"He's stable and at the moment sleeping," Kahlan informed lowering the icepack onto Wufei's right wrist, eyes on what he was doing. "He's woken up several times since, always completely lucid, although rather stubborn." Kahlan lowered himself onto the seat next to Wufei's putting himself in front of the monitors as well, "I'd like to discuss that with you, I'm concerned about re-entry…"

"What happened to you?" Une asked leaning just a littler closer to the screen eyes obviously studying his jaw.

"Ah…" the medic massaged his bruised jaw, "Wufei told you Trowa has a concussion?" they nodded, "Well its put him in a wonderful mood."

Wufei glanced his way, "When do you need me to wake him?"

"He's alright for the moment, just stay put and keep that ice on your wrist," Kahlan turned his attention back to the monitors. "He's at least sprained it I'd like to take a few x-rays just to be sure though."

"That's it?" Sally sounded surprised, her eyes looking over him, what she could see at least.

"All that he's admitted to, and even that took a fight," Kahlan sighed crossing his arms over his chest.

He suppressed a sigh without much success, "That's all there is," he didn't give either doctor a chance to interject their opinions as he looked more intently to Une and Dante. "I've left Tony in charge of destroying Zero, and clearing out all the information on it. We should be back on earth by noon tomorrow, unless there are reasons concerning Heero to hold off on the landing."

"Well that's something Kahlan and I should be able to figure out," Sally assured, and Wufei decided to leave them at it. Rising from his seat he heard an outraged sound from Kahlan but didn't pay him any mind, just held the icepack to his arm and walked from the room.

"I'll be with Trowa," he tossed back over his shoulder walking down the hall. Entering into the infirmary Wufei took note of both Duo and Trowa sleeping on the beds. Duo lay on his back a warm blanket covering his body, and a thick blanket wrapped around his right arm. An IV dripped fluids into his wrist, and he looked genuinely comfortable, no doubt he would have preferred to be awake, but rest was no harm either.

Walking across the small room Wufei came to a stop at Trowa's side, the former pilot continued to sleep as though Kahlan had never woke him. Wufei trusted in the medic that he had, and that Trowa was for the time being stable. Although he wanted to wake him just to be sure, instead he seated himself beside the bed and reached for his cell, knowing Quatre would probably appreciate a personal call. And if Trowa become unruly perhaps hearing another friendly voice might calm him. Wufei wasn't holding his breath on that one.

Not knowing where Quatre would be at this time of day, Wufei hand no idea how long he would have to let the phone ring before he could receive and answer. As it turned out he wasn't made to wait long. "Hello?" Quatre asked politely into the phone.

"Thought you might like to know the mission's complete," he said leaning back in the chair so his arm could rest on his abdomen with the icepack still securely held over it.

"Wufei!" Quatre's voice held a clear note of relief in it, "I was just about to contact Une and see if there was any news, how is everyone?"

"We're all still breathing," he said at first lightening his tone so as not to worry the president. He then launched into a brief explanation of the injuries and how they had happened, his tone was very matter of fact, he didn't know if Quatre would find that at all reassuring but as things stood he had already said all this once before.

When he had finished Quatre breathed a sigh of relief, "I'm glad everyone's okay, I'll be making a trip to Earth shortly after you arrive. I want to be there when the announcements are made."

It was a legitimate reason to come down to Earth for a time, he wondered if Heero would appreciate them being around him for that. He didn't get the impression that Heero wanted the world to know that he was alive, why that was exactly Wufei hadn't thought to ask. But he got the distinct impression that what was to happen after this mission was something Heero was trying not to think too much about. "Do you regret not being able to come?" Wufei asked suddenly looking over to Duo for a moment before he eyes returned to Trowa, neither man stirred.

"After I heard what happened to all of you?" He could hear the smile in Quatre's voice, "Kind of glad I'm so well tied down."

"Figures."

"Have you spoken to all of them since the incidents?" Quatre asked that note of concern layering his voice thickly.

"Yeah, at least once," he confirmed, "Duo most recently, I want to wake Trowa but I doubt he's going to be in the mood for talking. He punched Kahlan."

He caught a surprised snort which the president tried to cover with a cough, "So now he's passed the job to you?"

"Lucky me, I get to be Trowa's favourite from now on," he returned dryly and got to his feet, "Give me a moment will you?" he kept the phone to his ear, as he looked down at Trowa's face. He hoped his familiar presence would be enough to relax Trowa but just in case he wasn't about to reach out an touch his friend. "Trowa?" he called his friends name as loudly as he dared hoping that would be enough. The former pilot didn't so much a flicker a muscle, "Trowa," this time he spoke the name more forcefully, "You need to wake up."

"'uck Off…" came a slightly slurred reply sounding more than a little irate.

"Sorry my friend," Wufei leaned over Trowa looking to see if his eyes were opened, "It's going to happen a lot."

"Go…away…" he didn't seem in the least bit prepared to 'get used to it', he was irritated and not up to putting up with any of it.

"In a minute," he promised, wanting to be sure Trowa was coherent, "What color do blue and red make?"

His answer was a few minutes, "Light…or pigment?"

Wufei chuckled "I've got Quatre one the phone, do you want to hear from him?" A tiny nod was all Wufei received as an answer, but it was clear Trowa was understanding him and was indeed awake even if his eyes remained closed. "Alright Quatre," he said just before placing the phone to Trowa's ear.

What Quatre said Wufei couldn't catch, no doubt he was speaking softly in deference to the serious headache Trowa no doubt had. What Trowa said in returned was altogether clear, if not still a little slurred. "I'm…being good…" he tone sounded like he was protesting something, "Won't quit…poking…me." Wufei chuckled quietly at that, Trowa's voice was beginning to sound a little more distant, like he was slipping back into the sleep he had been pulled from, "Right…" was the last thing he said.

Wufei put the phone back to his ear and sat back down, "I'll be down as soon as I can," Quatre's voice was grave.

"He's in good hands," he assured knowing it wasn't really necessary, "But he'll be happy to see you," They all would.

"Keep me updated will you?"

"Of course," Wufei returned firmly, "I'll let you know if anything changes, we've got a twelve hour trip ahead of us unless Sally and Kahlan find reason to hold up with Heero's condition."

"Let's hope not, best for all of you I think to be back on Earth," Quatre's gentle voice was all too serious.

The door to the infirmary caught Wufei's attention and he looked over, "I'll talk to you later," he bade Quatre goodbye while Kahlan walked into the room. "Results?" he asked slipping the cell away.

"Looks like he'll be alright, I've lowered the gravity in his room, his heart won't have to work as hard to pump blood. I'll examine him again closer to Earth and send Sally the results, I think he'll be safe to make the landing." That was good news at least, Zechs had suffered a heart attack years back, not caused by the exact same thing, but like Heero he was otherwise healthy. And he had recovered quickly, he hoped Heero would do the same. "How's Trowa?" Kahlan asked then walking over to stand near to the bed, Wufei noted he kept out of arms reach, the bruise on his jaw becoming more prominent.

"I was able to wake him, he answered my questions, he's still in a fine mood but I wasn't expecting that to change." He leaned back in his chair after giving his report and placed aside the ice pack he had been resting on his wrist, it was no longer cold enough to do him any good.

Kahlan's gaze turned to him, "You forgot this," he said bringing the brace into view, "Give me your arm." Wufei didn't bother arguing this time just lifted his arm so Kahlan could fit the brace securely around his wrist. It hurt at first the limb throbbing against the constraints, but it kept the joint from moving at all, and as frustrating as that might end up being Wufei knew it would help.

Thanks for Reading!

**Facing the Undeniable Truth**:

Ash was seated on the far side of his bed, resting his back against the wall, while his good arm cradled his left. His eyes travelled from the IV needle back to Heero, "I doubt that'll win you many favours with Kahlan."

"Do you ever quit?"

"You've known me for four years, and you still have to ask?" Ash's tone was incredulous a broad smile on his face.

Heero pulled a hand through his hair absently, "One can always hope for improvements…" he returned dryly.

"Ha!" Ash exclaimed pointing a finger, "You're one to talk!" he shifted forward, excitement clear on his face. "I'm still waiting for the day where I can ask how you're feeling and actually get a useful response back. I doubt that day is today?" he looked at Heero with a raised eyebrow as though expecting the answer to the question he hadn't really asked.

His first response to that was just a grunt as he looked away shaking his head, "It's not my problem if you refuse to accept the answer you've been given."

Ash burst out laughing at that, "I'd hardly call saying 'I'm fine' when you're half dead a truthful answer,' he retorted, and Heero saw a chance to perhaps stump his friend, not an easy thing to do.

"Ahh," he breathed, 'You never said you wanted the truth."

"Like hell," Ash was quick to counter, but Heero only fixed him with a firm look, waiting for as to really think back on all the times he had asked. His expression remained thoughtful for several seconds, and then his hazel eyes latched onto Heero his face showing his shock. 'Are you telling me that if I had said 'I want the truth' you would have said something other than 'I'm fine'?"

"Will never know will we?" Heero returned rubbing a hand across the back of his neck.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	74. Facing the Undeniable Truth

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Well for a little while at least I can give you a regular update, and a double chapter to boot. I really can't thank all of you enough for the support and patience! THANK YOU!! It means an awful lot to me to know you're all still behind me! Thank you again!! I really hope you all enjoy this double chapter!

Thanks **Morgansgirl** for getting these chapters to me so quick!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing

**Facing the Undeniable Truth**

Waking up for the fourth time since he had been brought back to the shuttle, Heero actually felt a little rested. It was a definite improvement to how he had been feeling the other times, as well as reassuring, the last thing he had wanted to consider was the possibility of being laid up for any length of time. He realised almost immediately that the gravity within the room if not the entire shuttle had been lowered, not a lot but enough that Heero could feel it. He figured it had been done for his benefit, lessening the work his heart had to do. He could hear the monitor off to his right, steadily beeping the sound irritating the moment it registered, and without even thinking he reached for the wires and pulled them off.

"See this is why they don't like to let you out," Ash said to him the minute Heero's eye opened. He wore a mischievous smile on his face, an expression all too familiar. Heero pushed himself up from the bed finding it easier this timewith his arms possessing more strength, "You just go out and break yourself again."

Heero's eyes narrowed, "Shut up Ash," he growled but there was no real heat to his voice. Never to actually openly admit it, Heero found he appreciated Ash's ability to poke at him without any fear, over any subject.

"That's not much of an argument in your defence," Ash pointed out completely unafraid of pushing his friend to far.

"I'm not broken," he growled shifting to the edge of the bed so he could drape his legs over the side. He felt the IV in his arm shift as he did so and without looking he reached to pull it out of his arm letting it fall to the floor.

Ash was seated on the far side of his bed, resting his back against the wall, while his good arm cradled his left. His eyes travelled from the IV needle back to Heero, "I doubt that'll win you many favours with Kahlan."

"Do you ever quit?"

"You've known me for four years, and you still have to ask?" Ash's tone was incredulous a broad smile on his face.

Heero pulled a hand through his hair absently, "One can always hope for improvements…" he returned dryly.

"Ha!" Ash exclaimed pointing a finger, "You're one to talk!" he shifted forward, excitement clear on his face. "I'm still waiting for the day where I can ask how you're feeling and actually get a useful response back. I doubt that day is today?" he looked at Heero with a raised eyebrow as though expecting the answer to the question he hadn't really asked.

His first response to that was just a grunt as he looked away shaking his head, "It's not my problem if you refuse to accept the answer you've been given."

Ash burst out laughing at that, "I'd hardly call saying 'I'm fine' when you're half dead a truthful answer," he retorted, and Heero saw a chance to perhaps stump his friend, not an easy thing to do.

"Ahh," he breathed, 'You never said you wanted the truth."

"Like hell," Ash was quick to counter, but Heero only fixed him with a firm look, waiting for Ash to really think back on all the times he had asked. His expression remained thoughtful for several seconds, and then his hazel eyes latched onto Heero his face showing his shock. 'Are you telling me that if I had said 'I want the truth' you would have said something other than 'I'm fine'?"

"We'll never know will we?" Heero returned rubbing a hand across the back of his neck.

A knock on the door broke off whatever Ash had been about to say in response, Heero wondered if that gesture was a habit now. Thinking about it himself he couldn't think whether or not he'd knock himself before entering a room. The door slid aside to reveal Wufei, he carried with him a duffle bag slung over one shoulder and a couple of ration packs. He stepped into the room, onyx eyes glancing between the two of them, Heero doubted that Wufei could have caught any of the conversation they were having before he came in. But he looked as though he expected he had interrupted something.

"We're nearly five hours away from Earth," he said automatically knowing that's what Heero would want to know on waking.

He was more than a little surprised that he had slept through that much of the trip, "Status?" he asked accepting the pack Wufei passed him, and the duffle bag which he knew contained his laptop.

"All clear," the Chinese man returned lowering himself onto the edge of Ash's bed, after passing him his meal. "Trowa's stable, grumpy as hell, but he'll be alright in time," Wufei stroked a hand down the side of his face, "Duo's still resting."

"And you?" Heero asked noting the brace his friend wore on his wrist.

Wufei shrugged twisting his arm one way and then the other, "Could be broken, I think it's just a sprain though."

Heero put down the meal he had been eating suddenly realising that he was without a shirt. He didn't know whether to be pleased that he had gone so long without thinking about it, but he felt exposed now, and knew extra shirts could be found in the bag Wufei had brought to him. Removing a warm shirt from the bag along with his laptop, Heero quickly pulled it over his head, taking a moment to consider what Wufei had said to them. They had all managed to make it out of the mission in one piece, a little worse for wear, though that wasn't unexpected. Something in what Wufei had said to him suddenly jumped out, "Who's piloting the shuttle?" If Duo was out someone else must have been brought in.

"That's actually why I came in here, you remember Derrick Anderson and Thomas Ryan?" those were two names that stuck out in Heero's mind and clearly in Ash's as well. As he sat forward on his bed eyes darting to Heero, for his part Heero mutely nodded his head. "Anderson is piloting the shuttle in Duo's place."

"Do they know?" it was perhaps a useless question, but had Ash not asked it first Heero knew he would have.

"Yeah," Wufei leaned back folding his arms across his chest, as best he could with the brace. "They want to see you, but I wasn't about to let them in here until you were up to dealing with them. Are you?"

Heero didn't think there was any possible way this could go well for him, but he also knew in such a confined space there was really no avoiding it. Though they would only be on the shuttle for another five hours. He didn't however want the other pilots playing interference with him, these were men he used to work with, and sooner or later they'd have to accept the fact that he wasn't dead, and wasn't a traitor. Still there was a strong part of Heero that wanted to keep this information from as many people as possible, but these men already knew. Finally after several moments of silence Heero nodded his head.

"Alright then, finish eating I'll go get them," the former pilot rose from his perch and left the room.

WMWMWMW

Ash watched his friend closely noting the subtle changes in his friend's behaviour the moment Wufei left the room. He glanced once at what was left of his meal, and appeared as though he wasn't going to touch it again. Careful of his arm Ash shifted to the edge of his bed, he wanted to ask if Heero was really ready for this, but knew immediately that the question would not be welcomed, and so held his tongue. He was here for Heero, for the moment that was all he could offer.

He tried to imagine how this meeting would end up going. No scenario turned out well. Ash could remember all too well these two agents, and the hatred they had shown towards Heero back at the cottage. That felt like a life time ago for Ash, and he tried to reconcile what he knew now of Heero and what had happened then. It was not easy to do, he hadn't thought back to that moment until now, having been far to focused on the moment he was living, watching Heero come back to himself. Prodding him along because no one else would.

"Did you know them at all before?" he asked tentatively not wanting to wait in silence the entire time. Not that he thought it would take Wufei long to retrieve the agents, but no doubt he'd feel the need to lay down some ground rules. And if Ash could take that time to draw his friend out a little so much the better. Heero was looking far too dark and brooding for Ash's liking.

Heero studied him for a moment, it was a strong thoughtful gaze, one Ash greatly preferred to the 'death glare' he was used to receiving. "I'd worked with them several times before," he confirmed, voice emotionless, hollow sounding, he was preparing himself.

Ash decided then, though it hadn't taken any real thought at all, that he wasn't going to sit by during this 'meeting', he was as much to blame as Heero for what had happened at the cottage. More so even since he had lead the mission. If they wanted to be bitter and sore at anyone, why not him? He could take it, not that he thought for a moment that Heero couldn't, but the difference was Ash would enjoy himself no matter what happened.

The door to the room opened again, once more signaled by a soft knock, Wufei walked in first moving immediately to take a seat at the foot of Heero's bed so he and Ash were both between Heero and the door. It was a subtle effort to offer their friend support, and the way Heero's cobalt eyes flickered between the two of them, the gesture was not unwelcome. Ash recognised the two men that followed Wufei into the room, they hadn't changed at all, not even their sour expressions were any different. Ash glanced away from the door hiding a tiny smile from view, this could be fun.

The room was utterly silent for several long moments as the two agents stared daggers at Heero, who looked on face expressionless. It seemed to Ash as though they hadn't actually believed Wufei when they had been told that Heero was alive, as despite their obvious bitterness, there was still an element of surprise. Ash wondered how long the silence would last, he knew Heero wasn't about to break it, and Ash didn't feel the time was right for him to do so. So it was up to Anderson or Ryan to get this underway. Perhaps they could just be content with having seen Heero alive and leave the room, but Ash doubted it.

The tense silence became heavier the longer it lasted, Ash knew it would break soon, but that he shouldn't be the one to break it, despite the fact that he might be the best one for it. Anderson's hands clenched at his side, his eyes narrowing as his brow drew down further, he nearly seemed to tremble with his pent up anger. "You actually think after all you did, that you can come back?" the agent finally demanded.

Ash had to bite his tongue to keep from interjecting his opinion, it wasn't his time just yet, besides which Heero looked more than willing to answer to this one. "I never left," his tone was flat leaving no room for arguments, despite the fact that both Wufei and himself could have offered several.

"You shot Relena!" Ryan spat immediately after, as though that should have ended the entire conversation right there.

"That's what we needed the world to believe," Wufei interjected his voice a force of calm in the small room.

"That blood wasn't fake!" Anderson shook his head, "I don't believe for one second that you managed to fool the entire ESUN with an act!"

Heero drew in a breath, and Ash knew he was the best one to be answering that question, as much as he might not want to think back on that time. "You're right it wasn't an act," he began voice harsh, "I shot the assassin attempting to kill her."

Ash was surprised he hadn't been sure what to expect out of Heero at this point, Wufei chose to step in at this point and ease the burden from his friend. "It was necessary that the ESUN believe Heero to be a traitor, and nothing short of staging the assassination attempt would do it." This certainly couldn't be an easy lie to tell, and Ash wondered if this was the story they would be telling the entire world once it was announced Heero wasn't dead.

"It wasn't that we brought the assassin in, I just took advantage of the situation," Heero looked away at that point, he hadn't really been making eye contract with them. Ash wanted to step in and redirect the conversation to him, but knew it wouldn't work at this moment, they'd bock the minute he tried.

"I can't believe you knowingly put Relena into danger for this?!" Ryan clearly attempted to reason, of the two agents he seemed the most level headed.

"It should come as no surprise that Relena is quite often the target of threats, even if the vast majority of the ESUN is content with the peace, there are always low life's wanting to make a name for themselves." Wufei informed calmly seeming also to want to direct the attention away from Heero as best he could.

"And you used that to your advantage," Anderson spat, the far less forgiving of the two, and it was no surprise to Ash, he remembered clearly the agent's defiant behaviour, only Relena had seemed capable of making him see reason.

Heero finally looked back expression devoid, but there was a spark in his eye, that nearly sent a shiver down Ash's spine, "I'm not going to justify my past to you."

But they were far from accepting that, "What about the cottage?" Anderson demanded, giving Ash the opening he had been waiting for.

"Oh you can't blame Heero for that one," Ash broke in a wide smile on his face, "You might recall I was the one in charge then."

"I haven't forgotten," Anderson growled.

"You're just more intent on chewing Heero out than me," he pointed out all too calmly, perhaps if he poked them enough they might actually turn their focus on him. Although he wasn't about to hold his breath.

Anderson's eyes flashed, "You weren't the one to betray us!"

"Oh I see…" Ash nodded with obvious understanding, "You'd think after a year of believing him to be dead, that you'd have got over it by now. You're more than welcome to still be mad at me though, I did orchestrate your rather embarrassing capture." He offered them a winning smile, which wasn't at all well received.

"Damnit! You weren't the one who hurt her!" they were both nearing their flash points by this time, and Ash had to admit this wasn't going exactly as he had hoped, but there was still time to if nothing else shock these two into silence.

"True, but I don't recall Heero doing anything drastic that time either," he glanced briefly at Heero to see what his expression was like, he had been silently watching for some time now. And whether he was expecting anything from Ash, wasn't clear by his expression, yet. "If he said anything to hurt her feelings for the sake of the 'show' I'd say he must have more than made up for it."

Although the two agents looked none to sure about what Ash was saying, Heero's brow had drawn down a fraction. He certainly suspected, "Ash…" there was a warning note to his voice.

One Ash was already prepared to ignore, "And I'd say the same goes for Relena, wouldn't you agree?" he directed the question in Wufei's direction, the Chinese man attempted without great success to conceal a smile that was threatening to break free. "I'd say the two of them have been doing a lot to make up for lost time."

"What the hell?" Ryan asked completely dumbfounded, whatever rage had been in him at least was for the moment now, forgotten.

"Ignore him, he talks way too much," Heero ground out not lifting his heavy stare from where Ash sat.

Anderson slowly shook his head, he looked confused, irate, and more than a little pissed, "How could you do that to her?" he demanded still not willing to let go.

"I told you already," Heero's voice sounded as though he was fighting not to sigh, "I'm not going to argue the past with you. It's done and gone."

"I still can't forgive you."

Heero leveled Anderson with a solid stare, "I never asked you too."

The door to the room opened suddenly behind the agents, shattering the stale aired tension that had filled the room since they entered, and Kahlan appeared behind them. His expression was neutral for a moment until his eyes landed on Heero. "Alright, I said you could see him, now you have, and I want you to leave. These men need rest," his tone left no room for argument, and the two agents reluctantly left the room.

Wufei let out a breath, "About what I expected," he commented.

"Are you including him in that?" Heero asked surprised his head nodding in Ash's direction.

"I was actually expecting a little more from you, to be honest," Wufei scratched at his jaw with his good hand considering Ash.

The hazel eyed man laughed outright, wincing as it sent shooting pain down his arm, "Sorry to disappoint, but I've already been shot once, I didn't exactly want to give him reason to follow in Duo's lead. Like he hasn't threatened more than enough in the past."

"Never seemed to stop you then…" Heero muttered.

"Well considering the situation, I didn't want to cause you another heart attack, we are friends after all." He watched as Heero bit off several no doubt scathing remarks and in the end settled on ignoring him altogether, which was the worst thing he could do. It made prodding him all that much harder, and for a while Ash knew he wasn't likely to get a response, but he also knew from experience that Heero couldn't hold out forever. As much as he pretended to be mad, and on occasion actually was, he never wanted to completely cut himself off from Ash.

Kahlan stepped between them then, speaking quietly to Heero, who was immediately shaking his head. Ash shifted to lay back on his bed, feeling rather light headed and tired all over again, the painkiller Kahlan had given him earlier clearly hadn't made it all the way through his system. He watched silently as Heero looked from the medic to Wufei to the bag resting on his bed, only to see Wufei nod in a confirming way. And slowly he too lay back on the bed, allowing the medic to look at him. Ash was glad, he worried for his friend both openly and privately. He had done a lot throughout the years to make sure Heero survived, he wasn't about to let it all go to waste now.

WMWMWMW

Heero's fingers passed across the keys of his laptop the minute Kahlan had left him in peace. Apparently he was doing far better than he had when first brought to the shuttle, information the former pilot could have given him without being examined. But the medic had not been about to forgo procedure, and if it meant being left in peace with his laptop, finally, Heero was willing if grudgingly to cooperate.

He'd moved to email Relena immediately, wanting to contact her before Sally had a chance to make everything sound worse than it really was. It wouldn't be too much longer until they were making their decent to Earth, and he'd be able to see Relena again. He had begun to feel that empty void in his chest after the first day, but wasn't about admit it to anyone. Glancing over to the other bed in the room Heero assured himself again that Ash was indeed asleep, the last thing he needed was to have Ash hovering over his shoulder reading emails.

Shifting on the bed Heero slid the laptop down a little and pulled himself further up the bed. His attention shifted as he heard the seal on the door let go, and he looked up sharply, it couldn't have been Wufei he would have knocked. And he doubted seriously Kahlan would have reason to come back and annoy him so soon after leaving. Heero felt his body tense, and he immediately reached for the bag his laptop and shirt had been in, knowing it also held a gun. The door opened and Ryan stepped through, eyes glancing back down the hall seeing if he had been followed. Heero's hand remained holding the gun within the bag but otherwise gave no outwards sign that he was on the defensive.

Heero stared darkly at the man, noting with some satisfaction that he was looking more than a little uncomfortable, his eyes flickering often to Heero's left hand hidden within the bag. "What?" he demanded in a monotone, wondering how it was that Ryan had slipped by both Wufei and Kahlan. However if they were both occupied with Trowa, it wasn't all that surprising.

Ryan appeared to remember himself and his expression hardened itself, "I want the truth!"

"What makes you think you haven't already got it?" Heero returned darkly.

"Maybe the rest of the ESUN, will believe what I was just told, but I was there. I saw the way you reacted to each other. I felt the tension," he came a step closer his hands remaining in plain sight, none threatening.

Heero didn't look away, didn't even blink. He didn't want to offer anything that might suggest what Ryan was saying was true. "I made the world believe," he ground out, "None of us could risk the truth getting out."

"That's not good enough," his eyes flickered to Ash, "You can keep saying it, but I'm just going to keep asking questions, and it might not be from you, who knows where I might try and find my answers…"

"Is this supposed to be a threat?"

Ryan shrugged, "I don't think I'm being unreasonable."

"And how are you to know if anything I tell you now is the truth?" he didn't see many options left opened to him, not that he was really looking forward to giving the actual answer.

"The others trust you," the agent said with a sigh, as though he wasn't happy with the idea, "I don't doubt what they say that Relena does too, but that's not really any of my business. I just want to hear the truth, I think I deserve that much at least."

For a long time Heero said nothing, knowing full well that each passing moment was doing nothing more than to confirm for Ryan that there was something more to be had here. Not that Heero really thought there was any way to dissuade him, the question was did he want to relive that time in his life right now? It was over and done with, more so than it had been a year ago, with the Inner Circle taken down. But did that mean he wanted to be thrown back into it? A sigh escaped Heero's lips finally, "It's a really long story…" he said releasing his grip on the gun at last so he could massage at his brow, the pain behind his eye aching noticeably.

"I'll be patient if I get to hear it," Ryan offered, to which Heero silently nodded his head. "Alright…" the agent nodded looking satisfied. He shifted a little awkwardly, Heero offering nothing more to the conversation, after a moment Ryan turned and left as quietly as he had come.

Thanks for Reading

Morganeth Taren'drel


	75. Home Coming

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Thanks again! Please enjoy this second chapter!

Thanks **morgansgirl!**

**Disclaimer**: Still don't own Gundam Wing

**Home Coming**

Trowa became aware and felt a curse rise on his lips about to be released until he realised that there was no one there poking him. Had he woke on his own? He found that hard to believe, he felt so totally out of it, his head pounding painfully, the rest of his body aching to try and keep up with his head. Trowa wanted to drop back into the abyss, there was no pain to feel there, but since he had awaken on his own he thought maybe he should take a moment to find out what was going on.

Opening his eyes Trowa winced at the watery light seeping into the back of his head, feeding the gnawing pain. Closing his eyes almost completely Trowa looked about the room slowly letting his eyes adjust to the light. It didn't do much to ease the pounding but after a few moments his vision did clear. He struggled to move on the bed, wanting to lift himself up so he could better see. But trying to get his arms under him proved to be a problem. A strap across his back was holding him securely to the bed. That confused him more than a little, and he was about ready to call out in frustration when he heard the door open behind him.

"You awake Trowa?" Wufei's familiar voice asked as he stepped up beside his friend.

"What the hell is going on?" his voice was raspy but he managed to get the words out clearly which was a small victory.

He could feel Wufei working at the strap across his back before moving a little further down the bed. "We needed to secure you for the landing, this was the only thing we could come up with." The minute the last strap had been released Trowa moved to push himself up, "Whoa easy, let me finish unhooking you first." Trowa grudgingly complied unable to watch through the corner of his eye to see what Wufei was doing with his neck, "Alright."

Slowly Trowa pushed himself up, his body aching as he tried to shift to a sitting position, his head swam but he wouldn't let it show as he finally looked up at the room around him. Blinking several times Trowa reached for the side of his neck feeling the bandage first and then the tube that was poking through, "What?" he asked mind unable to comprehend as he looked over to Wufei.

"Kahlan inserted a direct IV, considering how damaged your arms were, he wants to keep it in for the time being, no doubt Sally's going to want to put you back on the IV," Wufei explained taking a seat next to his friend.

"I'm awake now, I can drink and eat on my own," he said a little defensively, his eyes still not opening fully as he stared at his friend.

"I doubt that'll matter much to Sally, besides that can you honestly tell me you're awake for the long haul," Wufei asked an eyebrow raised, as he stepped off the bed, "C'mon it's about time we got back to the agency."

WMWMWMW

Relena waited anxiously in the hanger as the shuttle slowly pulled in, she had come down well in advance along with Hilde and Sally. She had been informed of Heero's condition, and although Sally had assured her it didn't appear that bad, Relena had been unable to stand still wanting to get her arms around Heero and never let him go. Perhaps that was way Sally had dodged her questions about Heero's condition for so long, as frustrated as she had been, she was grateful now. Having received an email from Heero had helped also, she smiled thinking back on it. It hadn't said much but at least he was alive.

Hilde clasped her hands before her bouncing slightly on her feet, she like Relena was unable to stand still. "I don't think I can wait any longer," she whispered, stepping forward so she could clasp the rail in front of her.

"No insult to either of you," Sally spoke up glancing in their direction, "But I imagine the pilots will be feeling quite the opposite just now."

"Certainly no insult to us," Relena returned with a chuckle, "It's only because you're here." Reaching over to grip Hilde's hand in both of hers, Relena cast a pleading glance Sally's way. "Can we at least have them first?" she knew standard procedure for all agents, medical checks were mandatory and more so for the pilots. Since they would do everything they could to avoid the 'inconvenience'.

"I suppose if you keep them from bolting," Sally drawled a smile tugging at her lips, "You'll at least have them for the ride back to the agency."

Relena knew the minute she got her arms around Heero nothing was going to separate her by more than a couple of feet. And no doubt Hilde felt the exact same, but she knew Sally wouldn't put up a fuss at having either of them in the exam rooms. Since their presences would be more likely to induce the pilots into staying. As the shuttle pulled to a stop Relena watched a flurry of movement break out on the hanger floor, as men and women moved about to secure the shuttle into place.

It felt like eternity before the hatch on the side of the shuttle began to open, and Hilde was already on her way down the metal steps unable to wait any longer. Relena herself felt just as much pull to be down there the minute the shuttle door opened and Heero stepped off. But she knew it would still be a little while yet, and she wasn't sure if Heero would appreciate her running to him to throw her arms around his neck. She heard Sally come up beside her and glanced over, only to see her friend looking out over the hanger below.

"You know I've asked the workers to leave once everything is secured…" she informed calmly, still not looking at Relena.

A smile blossomed on the princess' face as she immediately moved to follow in Hilde's invisible footsteps down to the hanger floor. The first two men to emerge form the shuttle, Relena immediately recognised, and called out to them. "Derrick, Tom!" she waved, it had been several months since she had last seen them, they were two agents she attempted to keep in contact with, as best she could with such a busy schedule.

They both turned to look at her, their expressions nearly identical, caught a little surprised as though they had been in deep thought, thoughts that weren't all that pleasant for them. At the sight of her their expression softened, but there was a hint of surprise in Derrick's eyes. Sally had told her they were piloting the shuttle so no doubt they had been told about Heero, and that he wasn't the traitor they believed him to be. Heero hadn't mentioned anything about that in his email, but considering these two agents Relena couldn't imagine that they had taken the information very well. Especially Derrick, she had learned over the years that he had a hard time letting go of a grudge.

She hoped then that the sight of her here would reaffirm what they had been told and make things a little easier for everyone involved. "Heya babe!" Duo called the second he appeared in the doorway, and Hilde called right back to him, Relena could hear tears in her voice.

"Ms Relena," Tom said with a slight bow, which she waved off immediately, she had never asked them to stand on ceremony and never would.

"I'm glad to see you're both safe," she said genuinely, so far from what she had been told by Une, they had lost no lives on this mission, although several agents had been injured seriously. And that wasn't including the pilots.

Over to her left Relena watched through the corner of her eye as Duo finally reached his wife, and she threw her arms around his neck hugging him tightly. Duo winced, "Easy babe," he said a little breathlessly keeping his arms firmly around her to halt any attempt from her to pull back. "I'm alright," he assured.

"Is it true?" Derrick's voice drew her mind back to the two agents standing before her and she looked back immediately apologetic.

"Is what true?" she asked softly, eyes flickering continuously towards the shuttle hatch waiting to see the familiar form of Heero appear.

"That you're waiting for _him_," there was such bitterness in that last word.

"Of course!" Relena returned adamantly, not blaming them for having a hard time believing what they had known for the past four years was actually false. Movement at the shuttle caught Relena's eye and she almost completely forgot the men standing before her. Heero stepped out of the door, and it was a huge relief for Relena just to see him. She had known he was alive and that he would be alright, but still a part of her had been unable to relax until this moment. She could see his cobalt eyes searching her out, a look of relief passing briefly over his face before it was blank once more.

"Please excuse me," she bade and strode towards the steps leading down from the shuttle. Immediately she could feel their eyes upon her back, but she didn't mind, and for that matter she didn't really mind if Heero did either. These two men more than the rest of the world might have felt as though they had a score to settle with Heero, she wanted them to see first hand. That she herself, the one more 'hurt' by the events of four years ago, had more than forgiven Heero.

She reached him just as he had stepped away from the shuttle and threw her arms around his neck, having to fight herself from squeezing him too tightly. "I'm so glad you're back!," she whispered into his ear, feeling herself choke up at the feel of his arms around her, his scent filling her lungs. She thought she felt a tremor run through Heero as he pressed his body to hers pulling his head back just enough to claim her mouth in a deep kiss filled with great need. It left her breathless at how much Heero needed her, the longer they were apart the stronger the need, she could have almost swore she saw pain in his eyes seconds before he took hold of her.

Parting finally Relena breathed deeply and ran her fingers slowly through Heero's hair, before placing her head upon his chest to listen to the reassuring sound of his heart. Unfortunately it wasn't as reassuring as she had hoped, there was a slight irregularity to it, that worried her instantly. She knew Heero had suffered a heart attack, much like her brother had during the war. He had been fine after a little rest, Relena had no reason to believe it wouldn't be the same for Heero. Although she'd still breathe a little easier once Heero had been checked out by Sally.

"Aww now where's a camera when I need one?" Ash called with a laugh, coming up behind them, "Do you believe now?" that he directed at the two agents who were standing there staring dumbfounded.

Relena couldn't fight off the blush that rose to her cheeks in that moment, but did her best to try and change the subject, "What happened to you Ash?" although she'd never admit it aloud, but when word came in of the pilots conditions, she hadn't been exactly interested in anyone else, no doubt Hilde had felt the same.

Ash looked down at his arm in the sling, and shrugged his other shoulder with a cheeky smile, "Duo tells me it was an initiation into the group."

"Have you considered another explanation for Sally's benefit?" Relena asked Duo, who was grinning widely at his wife, "I doubt she'd like to hear this."

"Sure, sure," he chuckled very softly, "Could have happened any number of ways up there."

"Doesn't Kahlan know exactly what happened?" Heero inquired his one arm remaining tightly wrapped around Relena.

"Shit, hadn't thought of that…" Duo looked up towards the entrance to the hanger where Sally continued to wait, and then looked back to Ash. "No worries really, she'll be more pissed at me than you for it."

Ash's eyes flickered up towards the doctor, for the first time looking slightly unsure, although it was only for a brief moment.

Kahlan emerged from the shuttle then, but didn't move further than the first step, eyes focused inside the shuttle a few seconds Wufei and Trowa appeared together. Trowa looked seriously the worst for wear, he wore no shirt, and both his arms and head were thickly bandaged. Another bandage around his neck was more than a little worrying. But he was walking on his own, though not very fast, and with Wufei close beside him.

Relena looked back to Heero then, "Sally hasn't promised us much time to be alone, basically just the ride back to the agency."

"She can't keep us forever," he said rich eyes looking up towards the doctor, as his brow pulled down. "No doubt she'd like to try," Heero sighed moving as though to take a step towards the entrance, "No use delaying it…"

This was a response Relena was more than pleased to hear, although she knew there was no way for the pilots to avoid it, she hadn't been looking forward to any sort of fights between Sally and them. Perhaps it was Trowa's condition that had him moving forward, but whatever it was it had all of them moving. Derrick and Tom were the first to reach the top landing where Sally waited and she moved forward to greet them. "You two might as well come back to the infirmary as well, I'll check you over while I'm at it, no sense in making you wait until the vast majority are back." There were a great many other physicians at the agency to help handle the after mission evaluations, Sally's usual main concern was just the pilots. "Just outside there are some vehicles waiting," she motioned them on ahead, before turning back towards the stairs.

Relena glanced back over her shoulder to see that Trowa was finally making his way up, and knew Sally would be waiting to assist him. Relena remained with both arms wrapped about Heero as they walked out into the early afternoon sun.

WMWMWMW

John waited anxiously in Sally's large waiting room for her to return with the pilots, he had spent the time arranging things for what he knew they would need. Kahlan had provided a very detailed report on each of their conditions, so it hadn't taken him long to prepare. He now wished he had gone along with Sally, he wanted to see Heero, he had no doubt that Heero was doing fine, else they wouldn't have landed the shuttle yet. But still there was nothing else for him to do, but pace the large room, his white lab coat on, and a stethoscope draped around his neck. He hoped it wouldn't be much longer.

His silent prayers were answered as the door finally opened and a rather large crowd of people made their way in. John's eyes locked immediately onto Heero, breathing a sigh of relief to see him walking on his own. After they had all walked in Sally secured the door shut behind them and told everyone to take a seat. Her eyes didn't leave Trowa for long, the tallest of the pilots looked as though he were just barely hanging in there, his head and drooping eyes remaining heavily lidded.

"Where's Kahlan?" he asked suddenly realising that he wasn't in the room along with the others.

"I sent him home to get some rest," she replied making sure everyone was seated, "We'll be able to handle them no problem. Alright Trowa and Heero come with me," she announced moving over to Trowa to help him up. "John could you take Derrick, Thomas and Wufei, make sure they're all fine, especially Wufei," her eyes locked onto the Chinese man intently for a few seconds before looking back to Trowa.

For his part Wufei just shook his head, and leaned back in his chair, braced wrist resting on his leg.

"The rest of you don't even think about leaving, I've posted guards on the door just in case you thought to try." With that said she lead Trowa and Heero from the room, Relena followed along beside, and no doubt Sally wouldn't mind at all. John felt pretty sure Heero would be more willing to remain in one place if she was with him.

"Alright gentlemen," John motioned with one hand down the hall Sally had just disappeared down.

WMWMWMW

Heero tried to relax back on the exam table, the top had been raised up so he was more sitting than laying down. Sally had spent a few moments checking his vitals before hooking him up to an EKG machine and leaving him to tend to Trowa. Relena had not left his side since the moment he had stepped down onto the hanger, and he was glad to have her close. She had a calming effect on him, one that continually amazed him.

Relena took a slow hold of his hand, her fingers intertwining with his, she didn't say anything just smiled at him. And he could see the concern in her eyes, she was worried about him, but perhaps not wanting to voice it. "I'm alright," he told her gripping her hand a little tighter.

She chuckled softly it sounded a little forced, "You say that all the time."

"I'd say I have a pretty good track record so far," he told her reassuringly, eyes shutting a little to block out the light that was stabbing into his head.

"Looks like I'll have to give you a massage once Sally's cleared you," she leaned down close shading his face with her own and lightly kissed his lips. He could feel himself want to draw more from her to wrap his arms around her and pull her down two him. But he resisted, for several reasons, he didn't know when Sally would be coming back in, and certainly didn't want to get caught, he also didn't want anything suspicious to appear on the EKG.

Relena pulled back a little still remaining close, and began to study him her eyes sliding across his face, slowly soaking in every detail. Heero knew this expression she'd worn it many times when trying to figure him out. He had no idea how much she could see through, Heero knew Relena was one of the few aware of his human side, it was her he had to thank for bringing it out in him. She had studied him for long hours even when he wasn't in front of her to occupy her vision, what things had she realised? That she loved him was obvious, that he would defend her to the death if necessary?

His train of thought was broken as Relena began to speak, "You know there's been a lot of comparisons between you and my brother." Her right hand held his while her left stroked the back, it appeared to be an unconscious act on her part, similar to the way his hand would play with her hair the second it was within easy reach. "I've disagreed with most of them, simply because the thought of looking for my brother in another man just isn't right, especially not a man I love." His lips quirked at the expression on Relena's face as a subtle blush rose up into her cheeks.

Clearing her throat delicately Relena flipper her hair back over her should with an expert toss of her head. "I do have to admit…grudgingly, that the two of you share similarities," she was looking up now, eyes distant, lips twitching a little with a smile she was biting back. "You're both stupidly determined," the tone was endearing as she looked back down at him, "And unshakable in your beliefs."

"Neither are very uncommon," Heero felt the need to point out, did he mind being compared to Zechs? He didn't think so, they had both come to respect each other over the years of battling each other.

Relena chuckled lightly, "No, that's not what made me decide. The fact that you both pushed yourselves to heart attacks at such young ages, made the decision for me."

"I can assure you it was unintentional," he told her dryly.

"And probably avoidable too," she was quick to return

"Hind sights twenty-twenty," the retort slipped from his tongue without thought, he had spent a lot of time considered what he was going to say to Sally when he was finally confronted by her.

Relena's left hand moved to take a place on her hip, she clearly wasn't buying it, which was hardly fair since the statement was in fact true. "You know your limits well enough to know when you're pushing them."

There were a lot of responses he could make to that, but none of them would win him any favours with Relena or Sally, and inevitably they'd make it back to her. "I'm back now, and I'm fine," he told her firmly squeezing her hand reassuringly.

"I'll be the judge of that," Sally said entering the room, arms folded firmly across her chest.

"How's Trowa?" Heero asked immediately, he hadn't expected Sally to return just yet, perhaps his friend was proving more difficult to handle. But he doubted it, Sally would call for assistance long before she let any of them have their way. Even one as grumpy as Trowa was.

"Kahlan took good care of him, I've rebound all his injuries and treated the burns. As for the concussion there's really nothing more to do but wait." Sally crossed the room as she spoke walking past Heero to the EKG machine and the readouts displayed on the computer screen beside it. "When I've seen to all of you I'll take him up to his room, and start him on an antibiotic IV. Also I believe I'll be able to give him something for the pain. The thought actually made him smile a little," Sally reported walking back over to Heero taking the opposite side from Relena.

Heero turned his head towards her waiting for her to speak again, instead she reached out and began unhooking him from the machine. "Your heart beats still slightly irregular, but considering what Kahlan sent me back from space its nothing that won't settle itself out." Heero moved to sit up the instant the last sensors was off his chest, but Sally planted a hand on his shoulder. "Lets not play games here Heero, you suffered a heart attack, a patient is usually closely monitored for the first two weeks. And for anyone else I'd be recommending bed rest."

The former pilot wanted to argue with that, and would have if he hadn't specifically heard 'for anyone else' so he waited to see what was going to come next. "After what you've been through this year I'm not going to ask you to do that. But I would like you to take it easy for the next few days, no training nothing strenuous." Her tone wasn't ordering, but at the same time it wasn't leaving a great deal of room for arguments. And considering it wasn't all that much to ask Heero nodded his head in agreement.

"Good," she smiled with a nod of her own, "So long as you relax, and don't do any training, and keep it just to first base with Relena--"

"Sally!" Relena squawked in embarrassment her face going red.

The doctor laughed, "Sorry couldn't resist," her expression schooled itself after a moment as she cleared her throat rather demurely. "Why don't you head up to your room, I don't demand that you stay in bed, but you still look exhausted to me."

Heero wasn't against the idea of getting a little more sleep, and it seemed even more appealing if Relena didn't have to leave immediately. Relena stepped around the bed so she wouldn't have to let go of his hand, as he finally stepped off the bed. Making his way to the door Sally called out to his back, "Could you send Duo and Ash in on your way out?"

WMWMWMW

Wufei took a moment to re-button his shirt after John had finished his exam, he had looked after both Anderson and Ryan sending the agents on their way before turning to Wufei. And he had been nothing if not thorough, however now being finished Wufei was glad John had preformed the tests and not Sally. He wasn't nearly so suspicious and actually believed that Wufei hadn't sustained any injuries besides the sprained wrist. And a simple ultrasound of the limb had shown it was nothing more than a serious sprain. He had been given some anti-inflammatories to take, and was free to go.

However Wufei wasn't in a rush to leave just yet, he watched John silently as the old doctor finished making his report. "I would have thought you'd have been the one to see to Heero," he commented breaking the silence between them.

"It helps Sally to keep working with him," John responded turning on his swivel stool to face Wufei.

"True," Wufei agreed, relieved that things between the two of them had finally worked themselves out. Though he still found it hard to believe John was going to leave it at that.

"I'll be going in to check on him before I go home today," John said with a smile as though he had read Wufei's mind. But his face sobered immediately, "Has he spoken to you at all of what he plans to do now that its all over?"

Wufei wasn't entirely of the opinion that it was all over, there was still the trial to consider though that was months away, and he knew that wasn't what John had meant when he asked. "No he hasn't," he answered finally.

"I'd like him to start thinking about it, he's going to have to sooner of later," like a father looking out for his son John was always concerned for Heero.

"Well there won't be much of a point until it's announced that he's alive," Wufei stood up from the exam table, "No doubt Relena will have a lot to do with it."

John smiled, "I should hope so."

Walking over to the door Wufei let himself out into the hall and glanced out into the reception room. It was empty meaning either Sally had finished with Duo and Ash, or was seeing to them right now. He though the latter was more likely the case and made for the only other closed door, wondering how Ash was taking to this version of Sally, a sight he had not before seen. Wufei knocked upon the door, waiting for permission to enter, more than likely Sally would expect John, but he doubted she'd have a problem with him either.

He opened the door at the sound of Sally's voice and walked in to see her binding Duo's bruised and no doubt cracked if not broken ribs. She looked over to the door, a look of surprise on her face, "John's cleared you already?" she sounded more than a little disbelieving.

"I wasn't lying when I told you I'd only sprained my wrist," he returned evenly, "You ought to learn to be more trusting."

"Ha!" was all Sally would dignify it with an answer, and returned to her work, Duo watched her impassively holding Hilde's hand who didn't look nearly so pleased.

Wufei attention shifted to Ash who was seated, obviously waiting to be seen to, he was watching the doctor warily, his good arm wrapped somewhat protectively around the other. He looked over at Wufei's approach and he saw mistrust in those hazel eyes. Not without reason Wufei was sure, certainly Sally would not have explained this before hand. He tried to imagine what it would be like to see Sally like this for the first time, it wasn't the most comforting sight. Taking a seat next to Ash he leaned back.

"She takes it as a personal offence when we get hurt," Wufei explained in low tones, not low enough that Sally couldn't hear him though.

"Not to mention when you hurt one another!" she said pointedly to Duo.

"So that came out?" that surprised Wufei, he had been sure Duo would have had something else to explain it away.

"Kahlan," Duo said with a slight wince as Sally secured the bandage in place.

"I sent him along because he's honest," the doctor reported making a note on the open folder resting next to Duo. "Alright you can go," she dismissed Duo to his wife, and he was more than happy to obey.

As he past Ash he offered the man a smile, "Don't worry, she's only mad because I was the one who did the shooting, not because you took the bullet."

Thanks for Reading

**Mission Complete**:

It was Relena who pulled back first, a smile on her face that for some reason looked a little forced, "Come over here." With one hand she led him back over to his bed, "I promised you a massage," the smile she gave him now looked genuine as she climbed onto the bed ahead of him. Heero sat himself down on the edge with his back to Relena her hands quickly settling on his neck. She worked carefully, removing each knot before moving on, at the same time it didn't take her long to finish. The ache behind his eye melting away, as he body began to relax, before long he was laying back on the bed with Relena at his side her head resting on his shoulder.

Heero let his eyes fall closed, as his hand played with Relena's hair the silky strands slipping through his fingers before being gathered up again. Relena was snuggled close her left arm draped across his chest, hand absently stroking his side. Heero would have been content to remain like that for the rest of the night, but he felt Relena shift beside him, and his eyes opened, only to find her watching him, a glassy look to her eyes.

"I missed you so much…" she whispered, her arm tightening around him.

He studied her face, his hand coming up from behind her to stroke the side of her face, "I wasn't gone for that long," he responded without thought. But almost immediately after realised that wasn't what Relena was referring too. He pulled her to him, drawing her body onto his so there was no distance between them, and gently brought her lips down to his. He kissed her deeply, his hand tangling in her loose hair. Parting a moment later he looked directly into her eyes, "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Relena shook her head, the tears finally forming as she reclaimed his lips in a kiss that held more need than Heero's had ever attempted. He was more than willing to respond his hands roving over her body slipping up under her clothes to touch her soft skin. At first Relena's hands held either side of his face fingers caressing his temples, but soon they two began to move, one sliding down his side to rest on his hip gripping him tightly as the moment deepened between them. Heero could feel his heart pounding in his chest, and still he wanted more.

As quickly as the moment had started Relena broke it off, gasping for breath her face flushed, "This isn't exactly restful…" she admitted with a slight laugh looking down at him her hair forming a curtain around their faces.

"I've already been sleeping for damn near twelve hours," he told her hand still on the small of her back.

"No offence, but you look like you could use twelve more," she kissed him again, but pulled back a second later despite his attempt to draw her back in. "Besides that, if Sally ever suspected…" she didn't have to finish that sentence for Heero to understand how she felt. He might not react to Sally's comments, but he wasn't exactly a fan of them either. He felt like despite the fact that their relationship was still very much private everyone knew what they were doing and when. It wasn't a very settling thought, no matter that it couldn't possibly be true.

Heero allowed Relena to settle back beside him as they had been before her head resting on his should arm draped across his chest as he played with her hair, eyes falling closed. That short exertion had been just enough to remind him body of how tired he still was, and despite his best efforts he could feel the darkness of sleep rising up around him. The soft sound of Relena's breath against his chest sounded distance, odd, but at the same time comforting.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	76. Mission Complete

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: It's been a long time I know! And I thank every last one of you for all your encouragement! I've been going through a very rough time in my life, and writing ideas just haven't been coming to me a well as they used to. I still maintain that I'm going to finish Mistaken Words, I've invested too much in the story to abandon it now. All I ask is for your continued patience with me!

I'll do my best to post chapters for you! I apologise in advance for the delays between chapters!

Thank you to morgansgirl for all your help and encouragement! Wouldn't have made it this far without you! Thank you again!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gundam Wing

**Mission Complete**

Heero walked into his bedroom Relena following not even a step behind, their hands clasped together tightly. He almost thought he heard her breathe a sigh of relief when he stepped inside. She had been oddly silent on the journey up, never one to be overly talkative himself Heero hadn't pressed the matter. He simply chose to enjoy the silence and the nearness of her body to his, the ache he had felt in his chest since leaving had completely passed into memory. It was something Heero still found difficult to accept, that he _needed_ Relena in his life, he'd never _needed_ anything before, but somehow she had changed all that.

Relena immediately made her way towards the bed, seeming to believe that was where Heero was headed, she jerked to a halt when Heero continued on deeper into the room. "Heero?" she released his hand watching him.

"Shower first," he told her softly, and caught a smile blossom on her face before he disappeared inside the bathroom. His shower was quick, he just wanted to wash the feel of the mission off, in the hopes that it would bring home the truth. He was done. The mission was complete.

Still it seemed hard to believe, after so long of working toward this goal, so many times where it had seemed to be impossible to reach. To now stand beneath the pounding shower, and know the Inner Circle was finished, all his sacrifices hadn't been wasted, was just too much to take in. He knew for sure that with more time the truth would sink in, and not be so hard to believe.

He stepped out of the shower a moment later and began to dry himself, his eyes catching sight of a comfortable change of clothes Relena had slipped into the room shortly after he had got in the shower. Dressing Heero walked out into the main room pulling a hand through his wet hair as he did. Relena got up from her seat on the bed and came the few steps it took to be at his side, slipping her hands up the back of his shirt Relena leaned close, her lips just begging to be kissed. Heero was more than happy to comply, his right hand pulling her body even closer so that she molded against him.

It was Relena who pulled back first, a smile on her face that for some reason looked a little forced, "Come over here." With one hand she led him back over to his bed, "I promised you a massage," the smile she gave him now looked genuine as she climbed onto the bed ahead of him. Heero sat himself down on the edge with his back to Relena her hands quickly settling on his neck. She worked carefully, removing each knot before moving on, at the same time it didn't take her long to finish. The ache behind his eye melting away, as his body began to relax, before long he was laying back on the bed with Relena at his side her head resting on his shoulder.

Heero let his eyes fall closed as his hand played with Relena's hair, the silky strands slipping through his fingers before being gathered up again. Relena was snuggled close, her left arm draped across his chest, hand absently stroking his side. Heero would have been content to remain like that for the rest of the night, but he felt Relena shift beside him and his eyes opened, only to find her watching him, a glassy look to her eyes.

"I missed you so much…" she whispered, her arm tightening around him.

He studied her face, his hand coming up from behind her to stroke the side of her face, "I wasn't gone for that long," he responded without thought. But almost immediately after realized that wasn't what Relena was referring too. He pulled her to him, drawing her body onto his so there was no distance between them, and gently brought her lips down to his. He kissed her deeply, his hand tangling in her loose hair. Parting a moment later he looked directly into her eyes, "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Relena shook her head, the tears finally forming as she reclaimed his lips in a kiss that held more need than Heero's had ever attempted. He was more than willing to respond, his hands roving over her body, slipping up under her clothes to touch her soft skin. At first Relena's hands held either side of his face fingers caressing his temples, but soon they too began to move, one sliding down his side to rest on his hip gripping him tightly as the moment deepened between them. Heero could feel his heart pounding in his chest, and still he wanted more.

As quickly as the moment had started Relena broke it off, gasping for breath her face flushed, "This isn't exactly restful…" she admitted with a slight laugh looking down at him her hair forming a curtain around their faces.

"I've already been sleeping for damn near twelve hours," he told her hand still on the small of her back.

"No offence, but you look like you could use twelve more," she kissed him again, but pulled back a second later despite his attempt to draw her back in. "Besides that, if Sally ever suspected…" she didn't have to finish that sentence for Heero to understand how she felt. He might not react to Sally's comments, but he wasn't exactly a fan of them either. He felt like despite the fact that their relationship was still very much private everyone knew what they were doing and when. It wasn't a very settling thought, no matter that it couldn't possibly be true.

Heero allowed Relena to settle back beside him as they had been before her head resting on his should arm draped across his chest as he played with her hair, eyes falling closed. That short exertion had been just enough to remind his body of how tired he still was, and despite his best efforts he could feel the darkness of sleep rising up around him. The soft sound of Relena's breath against his chest sounded distant, odd, but at the same time comforting.

WMWMWMW

Relena's lips curved up in a tiny smile as she heard Heero's breaths even out deeply as he slipped into a restful sleep, his arm relaxing under her as he released her hair. She snuggled closer without fear of waking him, listening to the sound of his heart beating in her ear, focusing on that steady sound to assure herself that, like her brother, Heero would be fine after the heart attack.

A light knock on the door, broke the peaceful moment, but was not at all unexpected. Relena would have been shocked if John hadn't stopped in to check on Heero, since he hadn't been the one to tend to him when he got back. As expected John stepped through the door a moment later, his steps slow, light movements as though he were afraid of waking Heero. Not an unreasonable concern with how lightly the pilots tended to sleep, but Relena felt fairly sure that Heero wasn't going to be waking any time soon. As much as he might want to deny it his body was still tired and he needed to let it rest.

"How long?" the old doctor asked with a fatherly smile on his face.

Relena glanced at the clock, "Maybe ten minutes," she responded back carefully sitting up and shifting off the bed.

John came over immediately and began drawing the blankets up over Heero's body. Relena watching him, her lips curving up into a smile at the expression on John's face. He truly looked like a father tending to his son, no doubt he was as much like this when Heero was awake. She wondered what the former soldier thought of that, having never really had a father before, what must it have been like? He certainly didn't seem to mind, since he always seemed just as comfortable around John as any of the other pilots or herself. John had even managed to get Heero to agree to certain things that had astounded her.

Relena didn't feel as though she wanted to leave the room just yet. She would have liked to spend more time with Heero, but never would have wanted him to remain awake, he needed rest. But she felt fairly sure that Heero wouldn't be disturbed by her presence in the room. Moving to take a seat on the couch Relena watched to see if John would follow, once he was finished with Heero. As expected the old doctor stepped quietly over to her, moving to take a seat on the far side of her he leaned his side against the back of the couch so he was facing both Relena and Heero.

John shifted draping his arm across the back of the couch, "Has he said anything to you about what he plans to do now that it's all over?"

It didn't sound to Relena as though this was the first time he had asked that question, and it got her thinking. She had asked Heero something along those lines a while back, but hadn't received much of an answer. "No he hasn't, but I'm not sure if he's even accepted that it's all over…" she replied softly eyes flickering over to Heero's sleeping form.

"It'll sink in with time," John assured gently.

"What do you plan to do?" the question had just occurred to Relena, now that Heero had fully recovered. would John step back, return to the life he had once known? Where Relena hadn't even been aware of his existence? She seriously hoped not mostly for Heero's sake, she knew John was a good influence on him, and whether Heero would admit to it or not, he liked having the old doctor around, of that Relena was positive.

"Well I certainly don't want to loose touch with him," John's gaze drifted to Heero's sleeping form. "I don't think he's ever had much of a father figure in his life, not that a twenty year-old boy really needs a father any longer. But somehow I just get the feeling he wants this," John smiled.

Relena couldn't help but reciprocate the expression, "You've managed to get him to agree to things no one else could ever do."

"Heh," John chuckled softly, "If ever a mentioned that I had taken on a parental role with him, it just left him stumped, and silence is acquiescence." The old doctor's expression grew more serious and his gaze distant, "I know he's not accustom to human contact, although he seems to do alright with you." The smile he cast her way brought a blush to Relena's cheeks, and John reached out a hand, "He needs human contact, whether he knows it or not."

It was Relena's turn to look off towards Heero, as she thought about the need buried deep within his kisses. It was a strong need, it had felt impossibly deep to her on more than one occasion, and every time she was more than willing to take the time to fill it for him. "I think he does…" she mused aloud, "At least at times."

John leaned back, "I've been doing this for a long time," he began eyes falling closed, "And I've never cared for a patient as much as I have for Heero. I've come to care for him as much as any of my children."

"Nice for him to finally have a family even if he doesn't realize it yet," Relena chuckled trying to imagine a family setting with Heero in the middle, perhaps the youngest. It was a cute imagine, although she had to admit to herself, unrealistic. Even if John saw Heero as an adoptive son, she doubted he'd have much interaction with John's biological children, but really who knew?

WMWMWMW

Heero's eyes opened slowly taking in the brightness of the room around him, the first thing he noticed was the still missing ache behind his eye. It was a welcomed change, but he was far to used to the pain to believe it wasn't coming back. Pushing himself up Heero's cobalt eyes sought out the clock on the far wall noting the time, it read 1:00 and judging from the light pouring into the room that was pm. That surprised him a little, he hadn't expected to sleep so long after he had come back to his room with Relena. He had spent most of the trip back sleeping.

Shifting on the bed Heero felt the sting of an IV inserted into the back of his left hand, and he looked down at it considering. Vaguely he could remember hearing John speaking to him, as though through a fog, telling him he was just putting the IV in to keep him hydrated. Now that did surprise him, when had he come to trust this man so much, that he wouldn't even fully wake when John was standing over him? The old doctor had become such a trusting figure to Heero, like another pilot, Heero's senses just accepted him.

He pulled the needle from his hand without a second though and moved to the edge of his bed, right hand reaching up to the back of his neck rubbing it a little as he lifted his head. It shocked him a little that he wasn't immediately met with stabbing pain, though he wasn't fool enough to think it wouldn't be coming back. It was only ever a matter of time before the pain would return again. Still he wasn't in much of a rush to put himself under the knife to repair it.

Getting up from the bed, Heero stretched both arms above his head feeling the muscles down his back release as he walked across the room towards the window. He took a moment to look out over the view enjoying the absences of pain. The door opened behind him unexpectedly and Heero turned to see Ash walk into the room.

"Damn, about time," Ash greeted a broad smile on his face, "I've checked your room four times today, and each time you've been dead to the world."

Heero shrugged stepping away from the window to drop down into one of the arm chairs, Ash crossed the room to taking a seat on the couch. He cradled his arm on his lap still wearing the sling, "What do you think of Sally?" Heero asked curiously knowing this would have been Ash's first encounter with the doctor as they knew her best.

Ash shook his head, "I can understand why she is the way she is," he said rather pointedly, "Hell maybe if I acted half the way she did, you might behave a little more."

"No, I'd just be more likely to avoid you," Heero returned dryly.

"Aww, does this mean you've been putting up with me all this time?" he smiled looking very hopeful.

Heero's expression was deadpan, "The only alternative was to kill you…"

"I'm a little too prominent on the colony for that," Ash finished for him, gesturing with his good hand.

"Exactly, although some days that almost wasn't enough."

Ash sat a little straighter at that, "Really?" he chuckled softly, "I didn't think I was half as bad as Sally…"

Heero shrugged, "Different approach."

"Huh, well you might be interested to know she thanked me for all my work yesterday," Ash informed with a cheeky smile. Heero raised an eyebrow at that but didn't actually voice a question. "For keeping you alive while you were gone, not an easy job you know," he leaned back on the couch, his hazel eyes looking towards the ceiling. "You know, come to think of it I never got paid…"

"Hn," Heero grunted folding his arms across his chest, "You were never hired."

"Ouch, that's harsh, you could at least act a little appreciative of my efforts," he leaned forward suddenly despite his gunshot wound, and Heero assumed he had been given some sort of painkiller. "Just think, if I hadn't put out the effort, you wouldn't be here for Relena, imagine that!"

Was it even worth wondering over? Since it hadn't even happened, Heero had never really spent much time pondering the what ifs in life, it distracted him from the 'now'. Which during the war could easily have cost him his life. "Didn't happen," he responded finally in an off hand way.

"Exactly! Which is why you should thank me!" he laughed.

"I didn't think--" Heero cut himself off before he could finish, they both knew Heero considered Ash a friend. But he had never voiced the word, and wasn't entirely sure he wanted to start now. No doubt it would only encourage the already impossible man, and that was the last thing Heero needed right now.

Ash's eyebrow raised at Heero's sudden stop, perhaps he could even guess where Heero's line of thought had been going. "You didn't think what?" he asked curiously, eyes sparkling.

Heero was rescued from having to think up an answer by the phone ringing. Getting up from his seat, he crossed the room to the phone, all the while Ash continuing to prod for information. "Yeah?" he asked into the receiver turning his back on Ash, he wasn't going to finish that line of thought even after getting off the phone.

"Heero, Une wants everyone in her office, in a half hour," Wufei informed simply.

The former pilot glanced towards the clock, "Two?"

"A debrief on the mission," the Chinese man added, "If Ash is there with you bring him along, Une would like to speak to him as well."

"We'll be there," was the last thing Heero said into the phone before hanging it up.

"What's this?" Ash asked sitting on the edge of the couch.

"Meeting in Une's office at two," Heero stepped away from the table and moved to his dresser, removing clean clothes so he could get changed. He briefly considered going into the bathroom, but knew that action would jump out to Ash, as he had never bothered with such things back on the colony. Heero still wasn't comfortable with the brand, but if he kept his back away from Ash nothing would be said.

WMWMWMW

Heero made his way through the agency with Ash walking along side him, he still attempted to take as many less traveled routs as he could to get to Une's office. The fact that he was alive was known to some agents, and he truly hoped it would remain among the few, he wasn't at all fussy on being the center of attention at any time in the near future. It took them a little longer to reach Une's office with the path Heero chose but as it was they still arrived a few minutes early. Not bothering to knock Heero strode right in, not at all surprised to see the others already waiting, the only face missing was Trowa's, though that wasn't unexpected.

A number of chairs had been drawn up in front of Une's desk to accommodate all those present at the moment. Heero glanced over those present in the room, a little surprised to see Quatre sitting among the others. Although he had a vague memory of hearing that Quatre would be coming down after their mission. Heero couldn't place his finger on it exactly but he felt on edge, his senses warning him that something was up. If this had just been a debrief Sally, John and Relena wouldn't have been present, just the pilots. But there they sat watching him as he walked into the room.

Une rose up from her seat behind the large desk, "Welcome back," she greeted, to which Heero nodded mutely in response.

So far Relena had remained where she sat close to John and Sally, but he could tell she would have much preferred to be near to him. That too was something he would like but not here, they would too easily become the center of attention.

"Are you feeling alright?" Sally asked rising from her seat so she could come to him and get a better look.

"Just fine," he returned, cobalt eyes flickering over the faces watching him.

"Have a seat," Une motioned towards the two empty chairs. After he and Ash had both sat Une returned to her seat folding her hands calmly on the desk. Heero didn't like any of this, but he still wasn't sure why. "I've scheduled a press conference for two hours from now," she began eyes looking directly into Heero's, had this entire thing been set up for his benefit?

"And you called me here for this why?" he asked bluntly, not liking feeling irritated for no reason but at the same time pretty sure his feelings weren't misplaced.

"We're going to announce that you're alive, and at the very focal point of the mission we've just completed."

Heero kept his expression blank as he stared down the commander of the agency, "I'd rather you didn't." There he'd said it, it was how he had been feeling about it whenever he even considered it. He didn't care what the world thought about him, as far as he was concerned they had forgotten him, and he was more than content to leave it at that.

"Heero…" her tone indicated she was going to attempt to reason with him. If there was one thing Heero didn't want to deal with besides the prospect of being the center of a media circus it was this.

"There's no reason they need to know I'm alive," Heero found himself saying which surprised him.

"So they'll know you weren't a traitor?" John asked clearly trying to find a good reason.

"I don't care about that." He responded calmly. The only people he had ever found himself caring about knew the truth, that was enough for him.

"Heero none of us want the world continuing to believe that you tried to kill Relena, you deserve to have your name cleared." Une attempted to rationalize.

Rational wasn't what Heero was looking for, he could never really understand why he didn't want this, why he had hoped they wouldn't need to bring him back into this. "There's no reason you need to tell any of them, I died."

"Without you we lack the justification we needed to attack Freedom's Point and take down the Inner Circle," Wufei calmly pointed out.

"I told you everything you needed to know back before I died," Heero sighed, "Therefore there's no reason to tell the world otherwise."

"What about Relena?" John asked softly, which caused her head to whip about looking quickly from the doctor than to Heero. He felt like demanding 'what about her?' whether he was alive or dead made no difference to his being able to see Relena. "She can't have a long term relationship with someone legally declared dead. I know you've kept it private for a very long time, but sooner or later questions will be asked, someone might see…"

"Heero…" Relena spoke his name softly reaching out a hand towards him, brushing her fingers lightly against his until he finally took her hand into his own. He felt their eyes upon him and his brow drew together. "You don't have to be present for the conference, Une never expected you to be there."

His free hand clenched, not at all happy about any of this, that he had been misled in coming here, and that what he wanted wasn't being done. "Doesn't matter," he growled, tightening his grip on Relena's hand, to signal he wasn't mad at her.

"I've suspected for a while that this is what you'd want," Une began again leaning back in her chair and watching him as though there was no one else in the room. "And it's irrational. Even if we didn't mention anything about your being alive at the press conference we most certainly would at the trial. And I'm not about to sit by and watching these people slip off because the linchpin to our case refuses to come forward."

"Damnit that's not what I said!" Heero had released Relena's hand coming to his feet, unable to comprehend why he was so angry. What Une said made sense, but he didn't want to accept it, he didn't want to have to face the world. Why couldn't he just live out the rest of his life in peace? Finally? His cobalt eyes flickered to Relena noting the concern in her expression as she quietly watching him.

"Well this is all beside the point," Une drew in a calming breath coming to her feet also, though her hands remained planted firmly on her desk. "Whether you like it or not the conference is going forward, and your name will be cleared. This was merely a courtesy to inform you of it, I didn't seriously foresee problems."

The silence in the room was deafening, all eyes watching him intently but no one said anything. Heero felt ridiculous, he couldn't put it into words, not even within his own mind to help him understand why this bothered him so much. Drawing in a breath Heero turned and left the room without another word, feeling a surprising heat rise to his face as he bit back his anger.

Thanks for Reading!

**He's Alive**:

"Ladies and gentlemen of the press, eight days ago, a mission was launched to once again defend the peace of the Earth Sphere Unified Nations." Her voice was smooth, and she almost felt detached from it all as she worked to keep straight in her mind exactly what she wanted to say and in what order she wanted events to be revealed. Best to lay out the facts and than start from the beginning. "An organization known as the Inner Circle has been hiding out within the colony of Freedom's Point for many years now slowly growing in numbers and power. It was with President Dante's full cooperation that we stuck at the heart of the Inner Circle, and have safely brought them to their knees."

Not unexpectedly that set off a wave of questions from near everyone in the room. There had been rumours going around as too where all the agents had been 'summoned' too. But Une had been able to dissuade suspicions with several cover stories. Une raised a hand, and then her voice, "If you please!" she spoke above the roar, "You've been told there will be time for questions at the end, and there is still much to go over."

Once the room had settled into silence once more Une opened the folder in front of her and composed her thoughts quickly, knowing full well she'd need to take control of the situation again. What she was about to say was going to shock a lot of people. "The Inner Circle has been an extremely top secret mission for the last four years. We have been tracking them through the work of a very dedicated undercover agent."

Drawing in a breath Une knew this was the moment, "The agent chosen for this job, had to be well equipped and exceptionally tough. That is why we chose Agent Heero Yuy, for the mission." That name sent another wave of comments through the room but Une over road them. "In order for agent Yuy to make it into the inner ranks he had to be viewed as not having a connection with the Earth Defence Corp, which is why we lead the ESUN to believe that he had attempted the assassination."

"Further more, it is important that you know now that agent Yuy is in fact alive, and participated in the mission that took place eight days ago." Now that information caused an eruption, one Une chose to wait out for a moment, they would certain not settle for a while with news like this.

Morganeth Taren'drel


	77. He's Alive

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: I thank you all again for your patience and support all this time!

Thanks morgansgirl!

**Discalimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing

**He's Alive**

Une walked down towards the large conference room, leather folder of information held tightly in her hand, flanked on either side by Relena and Sally. She knew they all felt stunned after witnessing Heero's reaction to the news. It was the most irrational she could ever remember him being, even his refusal to have those headaches checked out hadn't been as senseless as this. Surely he had to have known from the beginning that this day would come. Une had been sure it was thoughts of this day that had pulled Heero through his roughest times. Still he had been more than clear that the only people he cared about already knew everything they needed. Unfortunately that wasn't enough for the world. And before Heero's wishes she had to take into consideration the wellbeing of the ESUN.

"I hope he's alright…" Relena spoke softly her head down golden hair shielding her face from view.

"John and the others won't let him brood for too long," Sally reassured her arms folded across her chest firmly as she paced down the hall, the expression on her face stopping anyone from getting in their way.

Une could understand her friend's feelings, she must have been as confused as she over Heero's behavior and just as eager to get to the bottom of it too. But first they had to deal with the press, and they all knew that was going to take a while. There was four years of history to update them on. Years of rhetoric that they had to attempt to erase. They all knew it wasn't going to be easy.

As they neared the opened door of the conference room Une could hear the firm clear voice of her assistant Chase, "…There will be a period for questions after the announcement, we ask that you hold off until then, thank you."

Walking into the room Une took careful note of the buzz of conversation attempting to get a feel for how the crowed would be today. It was the same people every time. Men and women from all forms of news organisations, and most often they were sharks in a frenzy unable to contain themselves. They had learned with her they'd get their information when she was damn well ready to give it too them, so over the years that had calmed them a little. And they appeared to be acting normally now, talking amongst one another not at all able to guess what this conference was truly about. Once the word was out however Une knew it would be a totally different room.

The men and women didn't rise at her entrance although all heads did come up, however it wasn't until Relena stepped into the room a moment later that everyone was on their feet, a slow hush falling over the room. It was a good reaction that brought the whole room to attention before the conference had to start. Une took her seat at the middle chair behind the table, a plaque on the far side of the table displaying her name. There was another to her left for Dr. Pao and on the right Ms. Peacecraft. They took their seats before the dozens of eyes and several TV cameras taking a moment to situate themselves and their information before looking up to address the nation.

Une had done this hundreds of times before, but she knew this one would be different. Never before had they attempted a mission like this one. And even though it hadn't been with her knowledge at the time she had to remain like it was. It's what Heero wanted, even if he didn't want this. Drawing in a breath Une looked up to the room and all the faces spread out before her, the expression on her face one of calm and collectiveness. She was in control now, and nothing was going to change that.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the press, eight days ago, a mission was launched to once again defend the peace of the Earth Sphere Unified Nations." Her voice was smooth, and she almost felt detached from it all as she worked to keep straight in her mind exactly what she wanted to say and in what order she wanted events to be revealed. Best to lay out the facts and than start from the beginning. "An organization known as the Inner Circle has been hiding out within the colony of Freedom's Point for many years now slowly growing in numbers and power. It was with President Dante's full cooperation that we stuck at the heart of the Inner Circle, and have safely brought them to their knees."

Not unexpectedly that set off a wave of questions from near everyone in the room. There had been rumours going around as too where all the agents had been 'summoned' too. But Une had been able to dissuade suspicions with several cover stories. Une raised a hand, and then her voice, "If you please!" she spoke above the roar, "You've been told there will be time for questions at the end, and there is still much to go over."

Once the room had settled into silence once more Une opened the folder in front of her and composed her thoughts quickly, knowing full well she'd need to take control of the situation again. What she was about to say was going to shock a lot of people. "The Inner Circle has been an extremely top secret mission for the last four years. We have been tracking them through the work of a very dedicated undercover agent."

Drawing in a breath Une knew this was the moment, "The agent chosen for this job, had to be well equipped and exceptionally tough. That is why we chose Agent Heero Yuy, for the mission." That name sent another wave of comments through the room but Une over road them. "In order for agent Yuy to make it into the inner ranks he had to be viewed as not having a connection with the Earth Defence Corp, which is why we lead the ESUN to believe that he had attempted the assassination."

"Further more, it is important that you know now that agent Yuy is in fact alive, and participated in the mission that took place eight days ago." Now that information caused an eruption, one Une chose to wait out for a moment, they would certain not settle for a while with news like this.

WMWMWMW

John walked slowly down the hall, he had wanted to search for Heero the instant that the boy had left the room. But he had wanted to do this on his own, feeling Heero would be more responsive if it was just him approaching. He wanted to get to the bottom of this, he couldn't understand how Heero was feeling, but he was determined to find out. It hadn't taken him long to realized the boy hadn't gone back to his room, and it didn't take much to guess where he had gone instead. He just hoped that wasn't the case.

Stepping into the training room John heard the presence of someone before he even saw Heero striking out at the punching bag with abandon. There was no doubt to the old doctor that Heero knew he wasn't alone, but not unexpectedly he was paying no attention to John, as he continued to strike out his frustration, perspiration beading on his forehead.

"I thought you promised Sally you'd take it easy for at least a week…" he spoke softly moving to take a seat on another piece of equipment so that he was in Heero's line of sight. The former pilot said nothing to that, didn't let up in his attack either, if anything his movements picked up a clear sign of his agitation.

"You know no matter how much you punch that, it's not going to change the way you feel, you'll only exhaust yourself, and I'd really rather you didn't do that," he attempted.

"Maybe I want to," Heero ground out.

"What will that accomplish?"

That brought Heero to a halt as he punched the bag on last time sending it flying against the constraint of its chain. "Can't you just walk away?" he asked soundly suddenly tired. John had no doubt the boy was.

Despite himself a ghost of a smile touched upon his face, "I haven't been able to walk away from you since I walked into the infirmary back in April." He didn't know if his gentle tone would help or hinder in this situation, John was determined to be nothing if not himself, convinced one way or another he'd be able to draw the boy out.

Heero moved away putting more distance between them, but he didn't make for the door as though to run away. He leaned heavily against the archway that led to the pool putting his back to John. He was at least willing to listen, and perhaps see reason, it left John feeling hopeful, and he had to keep himself from getting up and going to the boy, that wouldn't help.

"Are you ever going to come to accept this?" he asked gently folding his hands together and resting his elbows on his knees.

The boy was a long time in answering and John would have given anything to know what Heero was thinking in those moments, "Not like I have a choice."

"Why does that bother you so much?" it was the natural next question, but one John had no reason to expect and answer too.

Heero was just out to surprise him today, "I don't know!" he sighed in clear frustration, his head dropping so his unruly hair would hide his eyes from view, despite the fact that John couldn't even see his face.

"Could that be it?" he ventured curiously.

WMWMWMW

Une was finally forced to come to her feet both hands slamming down upon the table before her, "If you are unable to contain yourselves, I will have you removed to watch the rest of this conference on closed circuit video like the rest of the ESUN." She drew in a breath, she had been prepared for this, but it didn't make it any less frustrating, "There will be time for all your questions when I'm finished, but there is still much I have to go over, you might even find some of your questions are answered during the process."

It still took a moment but the men and women of the press managed to get a hold of themselves and Une returned to her seat. She didn't exactly blame them, this was a lot to take in, in such a short time. They had believed Heero a traitor for years, and that he was dead for nearly a year.

"To continue, Agent Yuy discovered the Inner Circle. This organization was unlike any other that we've come across before. Made up mostly of traitors, men with nowhere else to turn. They didn't keep computer records and passed information along by word of mouth. Members only knew two others, this kept the man or men at the head of the organization safe from betrayal or prosecution."

"And yes before any of you ask, the Inner Circle was made up entirely of men, their way of recognizing each other was a phoenix brand on their chest." She gestured with her left hand towards a screen off to the far side of the room which now displayed an image of the brand, Chase proving the necessary information for the press to document and photograph. "Heero infiltrated the Inner Circle as a traitor to the entire ESUN. As I explained earlier due to their unique setup it took a great deal of time to backtrack through the ranks of the Inner Circle to the man at the head."

"It's important to note now, that President Dante is not and was never a member of the Inner Circle. His actions with regards to the creation and destruction of the Gundam, was merely to show his want to separate from the ESUN. We saw his methods were peaceful, if not a little unique." Une had to fight back a smile in that moment wondering what Dante's reaction to that had been. "The Inner Circle too wanted to get their hands on a Gundam for less than peaceful reasons."

At this point Une was rather pleased with the behavior of the men and women present, she could tell they were having a hard time containing themselves but for the time being they were. "After gathering as much information as he could Agent Yuy returned, unfortunately suffering sever injury to do so. In order to maintain his cover and not provoke the Inner Circle into either action or burying themselves deeper, we declared him dead, for the safety of the mission." Une wished it was as easy to say the words as it no doubt appeared to the press, but she had to fight choking on each one.

WMWMWMW

"That's not rational!" Heero barked turning just enough that his one eye could see John.

"We aren't always rational Heero, humans can't help it..."

He could hear the slight stress on 'human' it was subtle but hadn't gone unnoticed to Heero, was that really all this was? Drawing in a breath Heero knew it wasn't going to help calm him, he slammed a fist into the wall he was leaning against, allowing the pain it caused to burn away some of the frustration. "I knew this would happen, had to happen at some point…" he trailed off shaking his head, "And still…" he tried but was unable to finish.

"You hoped you'd be able to avoid this," John finished for him, and Heero felt surprised at how close he was.

But Heero could admit to it, he shook his head, "I knew it would happen," he spoke more firmly this time.

"I don't doubt that," John returned immediately, "But that doesn't change the fact that you hoped it wouldn't."

_How can he be so sure?_ Heero wondered silently, but knew their was no use denying it now, still that didn't mean he was going to voice it either.

John got up from his seat, and took a step towards him, "C'mon, this is no place for you to be right now." Heero didn't exactly want to leave, he didn't want to face the others after what had happened. John took another step towards him, "The others know, yes you were soldiers first and foremost, but you're all human," he shrugged with a slight grin, "The others have just come to accept it."

Heero shook his head but finally pushed himself away from the archway to step towards John. He didn't like this, but he really was too tired to care at the moment. John fell in beside him as they left the room behind and made their way slowly to the elevator. "The others are waiting in the common room for the conference to be over."

WMWMWMW

"January 28 at approximately 8:00pm the last shuttle left Earth on rout to Freedom's Point, With President Dante's full cooperation the colony had been in lock down for several hours." Part of Une wished there was more for her to add to this conference, anything to lengthen the time she had before the questions would come. "The mission commenced January 29 at 5:00am, where a large number of Inner Circle members had already been gathered. From that point on a house by house search was necessary to discover the other members."

"Unfortunately some did not want to come peacefully, the Inner Circle threatened to destroy a residential section of the colony. And did destroy a large building with members still inside, nearly taking the life of one of our agents." She sat a little straighter in her chair, "I'm pleased to say we have lost no lives in this mission on our side, the agency has detained nearly 200 members of the Inner Circle, who will be standing trial on charges of terrorism." Unfortunately that about summed it up for what she had to tell, which only left, "Now you may ask your questions."

The roar returned instantly so many voices competing to be heard, to be the first one asked. Arms were raised to draw attention, Une didn't usually have a routine of who she'd ask first but there were several people present who she thought she might like to begin with. If for no other reason than it would give either Sally or Relena a chance to speak. Whether either of them wanted that right now, Une couldn't be sure, but this is what they had come for.

"Yes," she finally selected pointing to a woman among the front row.

"Can you tell us where Agent Yuy is now? Why was he not present for this conference?" the woman asked.

Une looked to Sally, "I'll allow Dr. Pao to answer this one."

"Along with many other agents, Agent Yuy is recovering from injuries sustained during the mission. Although we didn't loose any lives, there were significant injuries sustained."

"Can you tell us what the injuries are?" the woman asked quickly before someone else could take over.

"At this time I see no need to make that information public, Agent Yuy, will no doubt make a full recovery along with the others."

"Ms. Peacecraft!" a new voice nearly shouted, "Are we to understand you were knowingly put into danger?" The attention of the room switched immediately to the new speaker, no one choosing to challenge the young man's right to speak next. "In regards to the attempted assassination by Heero Yuy, you willingly stepped into the line of fire all for this charade and the rest of the Earth Defence Corp allowed this? Not to mention you brother King Peacecraft?"

It was the question they had all known was coming, everyone who had been informed of the situation had asked it. And Une couldn't blame a single one of them for it. It was the logical next question. Despite all the facts they could cover there was no getting around the fact that a staged assassination attempt was a stretch. But it was the best that they could do, given what had happened, and Une had full confidence in Relena to handle the matter.

"I am sitting here before you today," Relena began in a clear voice a touch regal even, as Une noticed she tended to be when addressing large public crowds it helped to belie her age. "As a testament to the risk that was involved in the staged assassination. I have for many years put my life squarely in the hands of Agent Yuy, as I did on that day. At any moment if things had got out of hand he could have aborted the mission." How it must have killed her to speak those worlds though not a hint of it showed on her face.

"Yes there was danger involved, some would argue that each day I wake up bears a degree of danger. And as all of you should know, I would sacrifice myself to see the peace of the ESUN maintained. I sit here today, as proof that this peace has been maintained," her lips quirked up in a subtle smile as she looked directly at the man who had voiced the question. "So yes, this is what you're meant to understand."

WMWMWMW

The door to the common room slid open before Trowa, and he was immediately meet by four sets of eyes. "Trowa!" Quatre sounded shocked and he was instantly on his feet, "What are you doing out of bed?" his friend had already been in to see him several times since arriving on Earth, it was good to see his Quatre again, although Trowa wished it could be under better conditions.

"Where's Heero?" Trowa asked instead of answering his friend.

"I'd imagine downstairs letting off some steam," Wufei's voice sounded less than pleased, which didn't surprise or confuse Trowa in the least. And that fact actually pleased Trowa a little, he was having an easier time grasping things said to him.

"I take it then he didn't react well to the announcement," Trowa allowed himself to be lead to a chair which Duo had turned around so he could straddle it and watch the table where they had been sitting playing cards.

Duo shook his head, "No idea why though, he got real pissed off when Une told him."

Trowa settled in leaning gratefully against the pillow that Quatre had brought for him, "John's gone after him," Ash leaned back in his chair, hazel eyes flickering towards the door, it seemed pretty obvious to Trowa that Ash would have preferred to be down there too.

"If there's anything we've learned, it's that John can do just about anything," Wufei began dealing another hand of cards now that everyone was seated at the table.

"So how'd you hear about the announcement?" Quatre asked curiously.

The former pilot lowered his head down onto his arms, thickly bandaged as they were it didn't cause much pain. "Had the TV on, wasn't really sleeping," he was dead tired, but there was only so long he could spend sleeping. He didn't want to be out of it for a whole other day, he doubted that Sally would agree with him, but so long as she was occupied with something else, he'd take advantage of the situation.

"Do you suppose Heero might have taken this all better if Relena were with him right now?" Ash put forward to all of them, a cheeky smile on his face.

"Ha! No doubt!" Duo chuckled a mischievous glint entering into his eye, "She'll be able to break away sooner or later."

"We'll just have to distract him until then," Ash rubbed his hands together.

"Provided John can get Heero up here," Trowa breathed emerald eyes glancing towards the door.

As if on cue the door slid opened to reveal the old doctor ushering their friend into the room. Heero's expression was impossible to read as he stepped inside the door closing securely behind him. Had the other been intending on dragging Heero immediately into an unwanted conversation, they were halted by John's exclamation, "Trowa! What are you doing here?"

Trowa's expression remained blank his eyes following Heero more than watching John, "Sitting," he responded dryly.

"Well I can see that," the old doctor shook his head sounding a little exasperated.

Heero made his way over to the bar ducking behind no doubt to get himself a drink, "Then why'd you ask?" Trowa returned not bothering to look over.

John came into his line of view leaning down so he was looking into Trowa's eyes, as his hand reached out to rest on the side of his face. "You should be resting," he withdrew his hand clearly content that Trowa was fever free.

"I'm not really doing anything here…" he contended, finally looking at John since he continued to block Heero from view.

"Hardly the point," John smiled pulling a pen light from his pocket, Trowa resisted the urge to sigh as John flashed the light across his eyes checking his pupils reaction.

"You'd prefer I was sitting like this alone in my room?" he asked deadpan.

John just shook his head at that and stepped away moving towards the bar where Heero still stood drinking from a bottle of water, his eyes were staring off, whether into space or at the large screen TV against the far wall Trowa couldn't tell. Though he couldn't imagine why it would be the latter. "You going to sit down and play a hand with us?" Duo asked shuffling the deck of cards

That pulled Heero out of his thoughts, and he looked over mutely at the table, "We're playing poker," Quatre informed.

Heero shook his head at that, and with a relaxed gesture he pointed at Ash, "He cheats."

"Hey!" Ash protested in surprise, "I do not!"

"I saw you," Heero countered and Trowa noted a little of the tension that had knotted up his shoulders and face had eased away.

Ash looked surprised at that, "I thought you were ignoring me that day."

"I can ignore you while still keeping an eye on the game," the former pilot returned dryly, taking a drink from his half full bottle of water.

"Well I only cheat against people I know I can get away with," the hazel eyed man quickly changed his tune flashing the others a crooked smile.

"So what was it that you did to get him ignoring you?" Duo asked dealing out the cards to the others at the table. Trowa noted the slight shake of Heero's head, no doubt this would be an interesting tale. There was also a very tiny smile on Heero's lips, easily missed but Trowa was only watching at the moment, and content to do so. And whether Heero had intended from the beginning or not he was relaxing. He might not be able to forget, but they'd keep him from dwelling.

Thanks For Reading

**Seeing is Unfortunately Believing**:

Wufei jerked awake, his hand reaching immediately for his phone, a frustrated growl escaping him at having been disturbed. His eyes sought out to digital clock on the small nightstand to see that it was eleven at night. Taking hold of the phone Wufei pushed himself up in bed pulling a hand through his loose hair, "What?"

"He's Heero Yuy," the voice was familiar and matter of fact, but at the same time sounding incredulous.

"Jay?" Wufei shook his head, "The press conference was hours ago, and you choose now to call?"

"Felt like the right time, besides you're usually still up at this hour," Jay contended.

Wufei sighed pulling his hand through his hair again, "It was a long day," not physically speaking, but they had all wanted to keep Heero from brooding until Relena could get away from the conference.

"So," the sensei prompted.

"A little surprised you didn't notice it now?" Wufei returned, more awake as he shifted to the edge of the bed coming to his feet.

"Since he was 'dead' I wasn't really looking, and you'd have to admit he's changed a lot since then."

The former pilot thought about that for a moment, remembering how his friend had looked before this whole mess had started by looking at a picture which hung on his wall. Pictures of Heero were hard to come by, or at least they were before John came along, but other than his face becoming leaner with a few new scars there really wasn't all that much difference was there? He'd become harder if that were possible but that's not something he would have expected Jay to notice. "Perhaps a little," he conceded padding his way into the living room and from there to the kitchen to get himself a drink.

"I suppose since it's been announced to the world," Jay continued seemingly coming back to the reason he had called in the first place. "You wouldn't mind filling in some of the blanks for me now."

Wufei leaned back against the counter, "Right now?"

"Why not?"

Awake now, and not against the idea of seeing his friend, Wufei agreed, "But not over the phone, I'll meet you at the King's Pub in a half hour?"

Morganeth Taren'drel


	78. Seeing is Unfortunately Believing

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Again, I'm sorry for the delays but here again is another chapter I hope you all enjoy!

I want to that every last one of your for reviewing, your comments and support are so greatly appreciated! Thank you!!

And thank you to **morgangirl** for editing these chapters for me!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gundam Wing

**Seeing is Unfortunately Believing**

Wufei jerked awake, his hand reaching immediately for his phone, a frustrated growl escaping him at having been disturbed. His eyes sought out to digital clock on the small nightstand to see that it was eleven at night. Taking hold of the phone Wufei pushed himself up in bed pulling a hand through his loose hair, "What?"

"He's Heero Yuy," the voice was familiar and matter of fact, but at the same time sounding incredulous.

"Jay?" Wufei shook his head, "The press conference was hours ago, and you choose now to call?"

"Felt like the right time, besides you're usually still up at this hour," Jay contended.

Wufei sighed pulling his hand through his hair again, "It was a long day," not physically speaking, but they had all wanted to keep Heero from brooding until Relena could get away from the conference.

"So," the sensei prompted.

"A little surprised you didn't notice it now?" Wufei returned, more awake as he shifted to the edge of the bed coming to his feet.

"Since he was 'dead' I wasn't really looking, and you'd have to admit he's changed a lot since then."

The former pilot thought about that for a moment, remembering how his friend had looked before this whole mess had started by looking at a picture which hung on his wall. Pictures of Heero were hard to come by, or at least they were before John came along, but other than his face becoming leaner with a few new scars there really wasn't all that much difference was there? He'd become harder if that were possible but that's not something he would have expected Jay to notice. "Perhaps a little," he conceded padding his way into the living room and from there to the kitchen to get himself a drink.

"I suppose since it's been announced to the world," Jay continued seemingly coming back to the reason he had called in the first place. "You wouldn't mind filling in some of the blanks for me now."

Wufei leaned back against the counter, "Right now?"

"Why not?"

Awake now, and not against the idea of seeing his friend, Wufei agreed, "But not over the phone, I'll meet you at the King's Pub in a half hour?"

"Sounds great," Jay's voice was eager, no doubt he had many questions, questions the news media hadn't even begun to think up.

WMWMWMW

Wufei walked into the quiet little pub about a half hour after he had spoken with Jay and found his friend seated in a secluded back corner where they could speak in private. "Any reason you didn't call him?" Wufei asked finding it hard to use Heero's name in public after so long of having to be careful about it.

"Never actually got a number for him, and I highly doubt if I had called the agency and asked for him that I'd been put through," Jay replied with a smile, pushing a cold beer across the table as Wufei took his seat across from him. "What happened to you?" Jay asked pointed at hand to the brace on Wufei's wrist.

The former pilot twisted his arm with a shrug, "Just a sprain," he dismissed taking a drink of his beer.

They watched each other for several minutes, and Wufei could see Jay trying to gather his thoughts, "So tell me Wufei," he began leaning across the table keeping his voice low, "How much of what was said there, was the truth?" Jay rubbed at the skin beside his right eye, "When Heero walked through my door back in December he was carrying something heavy. And when I discovered the brand, he told me it was a symbol of a betrayal." He leaned back looking Wufei directly in the eye, "Seems a little different from what I heard on the news."

"The bloody fool decided to try and do this all on his own," Wufei answered after taking a drink of his beer.

"He actually shot Relena?"

"No, no" the former pilot shook his head emphatically, "A lot of what was said in the news conference is close to the actual truth, the only difference is that we didn't know what Heero was actually planning."

"That makes for a lot of differences,"

"It's not easy getting up there and say this was all a carefully orchestrated plan, that we knew and were in control of the situation at all times." Wufei leaned back eyes one his glass of beer as he slowly turned it, "Once we got all the facts from him, we weren't about to let public knowledge remain the same."

"No doubt he was glad to have his name cleared," Jay commented seeming to have the same problem speaking Heero's name as Wufei did.

Wufei chuckled dryly at that, taking a drink before bothering to explain his reaction, "He was actually rather pissed, he'd have preferred to remain dead."

"What?" Jay was shocked, "With all the weight he was carrying on his shoulders how couldn't his name being cleared lighten the load?"

The former pilot shrugged, "You're guess is as good as mine, I can see the immediate reasons, what with the media crazy but that won't last forever."

"So he didn't shoot Relena, what about you?" Jay asked suddenly.

Wufei's head jerked back over from his brief sweep of the pub, "Huh?"

"Don't tell me you forgot," the sensei leaned back expression disbelieving, "You were shot twice, the police never released details of the assailant but they sure as hell seemed to know who they were looking for. I remember watching it all over the news."

"Right…" Wufei breathed, leaning and elbow on the table, "What makes you think it was him?"

"Heh," Jay smirked, "Maybe I hold too high an opinion of you, but I find it hard to believe someone could get the jump on you, him on the other hand…he's just as raw as you. I'd pay to see a match between the two of you."

Wufei shook his head at that letting his hand drop onto the table, a true fight between the two of them would be a sight to see, had been in the past. It was a challenge he had always been willing to meet, and one that usually ended in a draw of some sort, whether they both exhausted themselves or just chose to call it that way. That certainly didn't mean there weren't any winners, they'd each racked up a few over the years. "I managed to get a shot off," he answered finally.

"And just how did the two of you come to grips with that?" he was utterly intent, "You had been friends turned enemies and back to friends again, how do you let go of something like that?"

"You'd be surprised how many times we've actually shot each other," Wufei returned dryly, finishing the last of his beer, and signaled for a refill.

"You've got to be kidding me," Jay shook his head a slightly unsure smile on his face.

"You'd like to think so." Shrugging Wufei rubbed at his eyelid, "We've sort of come to think of it as a form of initiation," his tone was dry he knew, but there really was no other way to deliver such information.

Jay shook his head again, apparently planning on leaving that one alone, "So where did all the baggage come from that he was carrying when he walked into my dojo?" he asked then offering the waitress a smile as she delivered them each a fresh drink.

"I'd say most of that goes further back than I have a right to get into."

"Alright then, what drove him away from you?"

"Ah that," Wufei nodded, taking a sip of his beer, "He'd been seriously injured when we got him back from the Inner Circle. Took him months just to get back on his feet," this might not be information Heero wanted told, but considering the calls Wufei had received while Heero had been away Jay knew some of it already.

"I remember him telling me it had been a car accident, and you saying it had been an unfair fight," Jay pointed out, proving if nothing else that he possessed and excellent memory.

Knowingthis was a sensitive subject, Zechs and Heero had moved well passed it, but still. "We got him off the colony, I doubt you can imagine the scope of what we felt in those moments…" he had not idea why he was saying this, it was just as easy to blame the Inner Circle for the beating.

"You beat him?" Jay sounded horrified.

"No not me, but yes one of us," it was a confession, at least to one person he could tell the truth, and for whatever reason it eased the guilt, sure he hadn't carried as much as the others, but he'd had his fair share.

"That wasn't why he left though," Jay deduced, "You must have dealt with it that."

"As soon as we had the facts straight," Wufei's tone was harder than he had wanted it, thinking back on how long it had taken them to finally get those facts.

"So what was it then?"

"Once he was back on his feet, and training, he wanted to test himself against one of us," Wufei began to explain, "After seeing him bedridden for so long…I guess we just didn't think he was quite up to it." He pulled a hand through his loose hair, "I'd decided to take it easy on him, hoping he'd be content with it and give himself a little more time…"

"And he found out?" Jay supplied.

"Yeah, I made the mistake of ignoring a purposeful opening he'd left for his side," he got to prove his point though.

"That's the exact thing that he did when we sparred," Jay remembered leaning back in his seat.

"What can I say he learns the hard way."

"So he left because you were taking it easy on him," Jay surmised.

"He wanted to prove he was as strong as he had been," Wufei confirmed.

Jay ran a hand down his face, clearly processing all the information he had just received, "Don't suppose you could answer a question for me, it's been driving me nuts."

"Guess it depends on the question," Wufei returned.

"Just who is his girlfriend?" Jay laughed throwing up his arms, "There wasn't much I could get out of him with just yes and no questions, but I got the impression she was someone important. Day he left he told me I wouldn't believe him even if he did tell."

Wufei chuckled shaking his head, "You probably won't."

"Oh c'mom, you can't cope out at that."

"Alright lets see how good your intuition is, within this city whose the least likely public figure you can think of?" that was narrowing it down a fair deal he thought, but he still doubted Jay would believe.

"No…" he shook his head, "Relena Peacecraft?"

"He was one of her bodyguards before all this," Wufei shrugged.

"I thought personal relations with the client were forbidden…" Jay trailed off still looking stunned.

"Well we've never really been ones to follow the rules."

The sensei began to laugh, his head slowly shaking, "You're right, I mean I believe you're not lying to me, but still Relena?"

"I think he's just as surprised as you sometimes."

WMWMWMW

Heero shrugged into a leather jacket settling the thick material onto his shoulders as he walked towards the door of his room. He'd been feeling restless these last few days since the announcement of his being alive. According to Sally he was still supposed to be taking it easy on account of the heart attack. He felt fine, but since that first day when John had caught him, Heero just hadn't seemed to find a chance to make it back down to the practice room without someone being there already. He wasn't sure what they'd do if he tried to relieve some of his pent up aggression but he didn't really feel like finding out. No doubt they'd try to stop him.

So he had been forced to find alternatives, solitude was not always the best solution, too much time for his mind to just wander. But he did tend to gravitate towards the roof, the view, the harsh wind was sometimes enough to keep his mind in one place, and so far no one had made an attempt to follow him up there. His left hand had just reached for the switch to open the door when the phone rang. Sighing Heero stepped away from the door and took up the phone.

"Agent Yuy?" a somewhat timid voice spoke into his ear after a moment of silence.

"Yes," he confirmed having the sense that he knew the voice to be that of Une's secretary.

"Commander Une has asked to speak with you," she informed confirming Heero's suspicions at the same time.

Heero didn't bother asking when, "I'll be up there," he responded immediately hanging up the phone and returning to the door. He didn't bother to take off his coat, whatever it was Une wanted to say, no doubt Heero would find himself out on the roof at some point.

It felt odd to him walking through the halls without trying to take less traveled paths, it didn't matter now who saw him. Still he felt inclined to find his way through quieter roads, he did like the looks he received, far more used to passing through a crowed like a wraith. At the moment he stood out like a blinking light, so many people still amazed by the fact that he lived. Heero walked passed them all, his stride broking no room for interruption, his expression far from welcoming.

Coming to Une's office Heero pushed his way in, feeling the eyes of her secretary on him, but she didn't say a word. Passing her by Heero opened Une's door not bothering to knock, whether that bothered Une or not Heero had never found out. She looked up from her computer screen a slight crease to her brow as he walked to the front of her desk. Habit kicking in almost immediately, he didn't even consider taking one of the chairs positioned on slight angles. Neither did he take a military stance, he just stood and waited to see what it was she had called him for.

"Are you going somewhere?" she asked folding her hand on top of the desk, eyes scanning over him briefly.

"You wanted to see me?" he returned.

"Always to the point," she smiled. "I doubt you've been watching the news lately, but there's been an increasing amount of calls for actual footage of you."

His tone was dry, and expression blank, "Why?"

"Considering the secrecy you've been shrouded in for these last four years, they want hard evidence," Une swiveled her chair leaning back, her eyes remaining firmly on him. "I can't imagine you wanting to give a press conference of your own, and I'm not about to even bother fighting you over it, because I know exactly what would happen."

Heero nodded curtly, there was no way he'd agree to something like that, if the issue was forced he'd simply disappear. Une knew as did the others if he really didn't want to be found they wouldn't be able to.

"So I've decided to turn over some footage of your training at the Warehouse it's time stamped and they can have their experts tear it apart. It seems to me to be the best option, there's no way they'll be able to refute the fact that you're alive."

"And ignoring their requests can't be done why?"

"I'm assuming you're planning on resuming your role in guarding Relena?" he nodded mutely to that. "Well having proof that you're actually alive before your first day out ought to lesson the media craze a little." Une leaned back in her chair a curious look crossing her face, "Tell me something, if we hadn't told the world you were alive what would you have done with your time?"

Heero drew in a breath, "I can be very effective from the shadows."

"I'm sure Relena would prefer to have you at her side," Une pointed out smoothly.

"Decision was made for me," he pointed out coolly, "When do I start?"

"I'd imagine you'd like to wait until media coverage lessons, taking slow steps would be best, the minute they actually catch sight of you it'll all start again, but won't last as long."

The former pilot stood a little straighter, "Is that all?" this wasn't news he had been looking to hear, but he was far more controlled than he had been the first time. He wasn't about to let slip anything of what he was really feeling.

"Yes," she nodded her eyebrows raising briefly, the only sign she showed that she had expected a little more from him.

Without another word Heero turned sharply towards the door and left the room behind him. Heero made his way quickly to the roof his stride lengthening, eyes locked forward. If anyone had even considered speaking with him the air about him put them off immediately. He had never been the easiest to approach, and that wasn't likely to change any time soon.

Pushing opened the heavy metal door Heero felt the first brush of the biting wind as he stepped out onto the asphalt covered roof. Shoving his hands deep into his pockets Heero strode across the rough surface to the edge of the building overlooking the ocean, a torrent of mist and crashing waves. He could lose himself in the ebb and flow of the ocean for hours consumed by the raw force as it pounded against the shore. It wasn't enough for him to forget what was going on around him, and not near enough to put from his mind what he had just been told by Une.

He knew damn well that he wouldn't be able to keep himself from looking into the media craze at some point. He'd fight himself but in the end he'd just have to know. Was it a form of self torture, something to drive him to extremes in training? He certainly didn't need any of that really, and unfortunately at the moment he was still under the watchful eye of both Sally and John. If he would need to let off some steam, he'd have to wait until after they'd let up their watch.

"So this is where you've been hiding," a voice spoke from behind.

Heero didn't jump, or even turn, "I haven't been hiding."

"No?" Ash sounded less than convinced as he came to stand beside Heero, "Then why have you been so hard to find these last few days?"

"Maybe you haven't been looking in the right places," he returned dryly.

Ash chuckled softly, and turned away from the wind sliding down so he was sheltered behind the wall. He pulled briefly at the hem of Heero's coat and the former pilot reluctantly complied. "Implying that I should even need to be looking seems to me to suggest that you've been hiding," he pointed out once Heero was seated beside him

"Think what you want."

"Heh, I always do, and usually when you say that to me it means I've won," he smiled crookedly at his friend.

There were a number of remarks Heero could have made to that, but they would have only encouraged Ash. Which was the one thing his friend definitely didn't need, so he merely kept his silence drawing his legs up to him to rest his arms on. Sheltered now from the wind Heero let his head drop back and a sigh escape his lips unbidden.

"Now that sounded like there's something on your mind," Ash commented also letting his head relax back against the cement.

"If I'd made no sound, you'd still think there was something on my mind," Heero pointed out dryly.

Ash nodded in agreement, "There's always something going through that brooding mind of yours." He returned before his eyes turned to study Heero's face, "So care to tell me what it is this time?"

"No," Heero knew despite his answer Ash wasn't about ready to give up, now he could have just got up and walked away. But for some reason he surprised himself at times by staying, letting his friend fish for information, even if the conversation remained one sided.

"Well no worries, I'll bet you I can guess," Ash rubbed his hands together, it appeared to be more of an eager reaction than to ward of the chilled air. "Ten guesses or less to pinpoint the entire problem and you owe be dinner!" he exclaimed happily.

Heero looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "What makes you think I'd agree to that?"

"Ah you won't," Ash brushed the matter aside, "Because you know I'll get it in less, I mean I've had a hard time reading you before, but at the moment it's kind of easy. Turn on the news and whatever I see is probably what's bothering you."

The former pilot let his head drop back again, "That didn't take Une long…" he breathed tiredly.

"Nor for the media to take it and run," Ash tucked his hands beneath his armpits, his hazel eyes turning towards the sky were a bank of clouds were slowly rolling in. "And I can understand you're not wanting to be a spectacle in the eyes of the media, but weren't you back when this all started?"

"I had other things on my mind at the time," Heero returned, his eyes shutting images retuning to him unbidden of the day he had left his friends behind.

"Well maybe that's what you need now," Ash suggested, "A change of pace, you have been cooped up in here for a while."

"In case you've forgotten there's a wall of media outside the agency waiting to catch sight of me," Heero pointed out drawing in a breath tiredly, he couldn't even think of what he'd want to do if he went out of the agency. The idea was appealing though, getting out from under John and Sally's watchful eye, even if he'd still have Ash to deal with.

Ash laughed it sounded disbelieving, "Since when would that stop you?" Turning his head Heero regarded his friend for several long moments, his lips twitching unbidden, and Ash pointed a finger at him. "Ah-ha! See that's just what you need!" he slapped his hands together as though it had all been decided, "You'll get to show me the city."

Thanks for Reading!

Morganeth Taren'drel

**Authors Note**: I'm sorry to say but this may be it for a while. I've tried as hard as I can to keep this story going and I still definitely want to finish it.

But unfortunately the depression I've been battling for years now has become too out of control for me to continue at the moment. I'm not giving up on it entirely I just need to take a break focus on other things and hopefully find my way back into the story.

I want to thank all of your for your support, and I apologise again for having to take the time off.

Thank you for all your support

Morganeth


	79. The Last Man Standing

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: Hello!! It's been such a long time! Only about 6 months but I'm sure it must have felt longer to all of you, I know I was surprised to see it had only been half a year. I need to give a huge shout out thanks to Adaon it was talking to him that inspired me to pick up the story again.

Unfortunately things in my life haven't changed yet, so that along with how long it's been since I worked on the story will mean distance between posts. But I will continue! And if you can all be patient with me, we'll reach the end of this story! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**I want to thank each and every one of you who has reviewed/private messaged me over the months. You have no idea how much your words have meant to me! They've kept me convinced that I will finish this story no matter what! Thank you! I love you all!**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the characters from Gundam Wing…I don't even own Ash or Dante, neekabe has them hidden in her closet.

**The Last Man Standing**

Heero stepped from the bathroom, a slight cloud of mist following in his wake as he stepped back into his room. "Good morning," John greeted from his seat on the couch. Heero had heard him enter the room shortly after he had exited the shower.

The former pilot nodded in response raking a hand through his still dripping hair as he crossed over to the chair on the other side of the table from the old doctor. The meal placed between them didn't go unnoticed by Heero. He took a moment to lean back in his chair, eyeing the food before looking to the doctor.

"How have you been feeling?" John asked leaning forward elbows on knees, "Besides fine," he added as an afterthought.

He considered the old doctor for a moment before answering, "Restless."

A smile blossomed on John's creased face at the honesty he had received, and he motioned towards the breakfast he had brought. "I understand you're taking Ash out to see the city today," he commented taking a sip of his still hot coffee.

Heero reached for his own cup of coffee, his head shaking slightly, "His idea," he looked at the food with a little interest, having missed dinner the night before. For a time they ate in silence, Heero could feel John's eyes on him the entire time. Glancing up subtly Heero caught the look in the old doctor's eyes. And knew it was more than the general concern John always seemed to show when around the former pilot. John was nervous about something; Heero couldn't begin to think what, so he just came out and asked, "What is it?"

John's head snapped up and a slight blush touched his cheeks as he placed his coffee aside and looked more fully at Heero's face. He appeared to think, perhaps trying to find the best way to say what was on his mind. The time it took did nothing to ease Heero's curiosity or apprehension. Clearing his throat John finally broke the silence, "Une recently had contact with the DA who will be prosecuting the case against the Inner Circle."

"That didn't take long…" the former pilot commented idly, he knew it would be months before they were actually ready to proceed to trial, but what could they want from Une at this moment? It didn't take long for Heero to realize whatever it was had to with him. "What did they want?" he asked voice a monotone, whatever it was he was sure he wasn't going to like it.

John cleared his throat again, shifting on his seat, "They asked Une for documentation of your brand, they'll need it for the trail."

Heero's body stiffened at that, his eyes narrowing at the thought.

The old doctor raised a hand to forestall any arguments Heero had ready to throw out, and pressed on. "I know you're against it, they were going to send someone to do it, but Une refused, she's asked me to take the pictures."

"No doubt the video footage will be used," Heero spat angrily, "Won't that be enough?" he already knew it wouldn't, but what John was asking wasn't something he wanted to give.

"Unfortunately not, they say its standard procedure. Had things been different when you were first brought back to the agency chances are that would have been documented along with your other injuries…" John trailed off, his eyes falling from Heero face. The former pilot knew nothing had been documented at that time, but why John should feel guilt for that he didn't know. It was because of John that Heero was here today.

"I know this is the last thing you want to deal with at the moment. But I was hoping we could just get it out of the way now, it won't take me more than five minutes," John assured, his voice taking on that fatherly note Heero had come to recognize over the months, as a very effective way of getting him to agree.

What was left of his meal now forgotten Heero eyed John while considering his options of which he didn't have many. It was clear the old doctor wanted to do this just as much as Heero did, but at least it was John and not some stranger, the former pilot would never have agreed to that. An inaudible sigh escaped him as Heero got to his feet, his non verbal signal to get this over with. He shrugged out of his shirt, eyes watching John as the man retrieved his small digital camera and a measure to place beside the brand.

"I'll be quick," John promised, as Heero turned around focusing his attention on the far wall. His skin flinched despite himself as John's warm hand touched him, keeping a distance from the brand. He saw the camera flash several times and then John's hand was touching him again, "All finished," he announced and Heero was quick to grab his shirt and pull it back over his head.

Heero turned back around to face the doctor, his right hand pulling through his hair; John was slowly cleaning up the mess on the table when his hand came to rest on Heero's coffee cup. "Did you want to finish this?" he asked raising the cup. Heero accepted the proffered drink feeling the heat still radiate to his hand. He took a long pull letting the coffee burn its way down his throat, all the while John watching him, in a way that caused the brand to itch on his back. "I have a question you may not have considered…" John broke the silence between them, his tone drawing Heero's attention too him.

"And that would be?"

"Do you intend to hide the brand forever?" John sat back on the couch, his eyes never leaving Heero's face.

The former pilot's eyes narrowed, _I'm not about to display it_ he thought darkly, no matter what anyone said about it, there was no chance for him to accept the brand as anything other than what it actually stood for. The mark of the Inner Circle.

"What about Relena?" the doctor questioned then, seeming almost to be able to read Heero's thoughts.

"What about her?" he blinked in surprise.

John chuckled softly shaking his head, "There'll come a time I'm fairly positive, where I doubt you'll be able to conceal it from her."

Heero knew exactly what John was eluding too, but he gave no outwards signs of it, he hadn't really given it much thought to be honest. For the longest time any thought of a relationship with Relena had been banished from his thoughts. Now that he was back, and the option once more open to him, he wasn't really sure how to proceed, "I'll deal with it when it comes," he replied finally.

The old doctor stepped up in front of Heero placing a hand firmly on the former pilot's shoulder. "Personally I think it would be better to come to terms with it and Relena before then, but that's just one old man's opinion." He smiled warmly at Heero removing his hand, "Try and enjoy yourself today, and remember to relax." John smiled as he turned to leave the room.

Heero stared after him for several minutes before he continued dressing, having no doubt that Ash would be by soon. He pulled on a heavy pair of boots and on instinct slipped a gun into the back of his pants, finding himself feeling naked without it. He was just shrugging into his leather jacket when he heard another knock on the door just seconds before Ash walked into his room.

"Ready to go?" he asked a wide smile on his face. Heero merely nodded feeling now more than ever that he needed to get out of the agency for a while.

WMWMWMW

Ash strode along side Heero through the narrow side streets of the city, not really seeing the sights of Sanc. But that wasn't what he had been expecting when he had suggested they take off for the city. He had simply wanted to see his friend outside of the agency, to see if that would make any difference to his mood. So far Heero hadn't said very much, but Ash hadn't expected him too, it was his job to take up the slack and try and draw his friend out.

"So this would be the path you took when you took off from the agency?" Ash inquired breaking the silence between them.

"When did you hear about that?" Heero returned regarding Ash through the corner of one eye.

Ash chuckled, "You didn't know about the newsletter they send out?"

"If it did exist," Heero drawled eyes scanning the streets around him from behind his reflective shades, "I doubt I'd be given a copy."

"True," Ash was quick to agree, "We wouldn't want you having any sort of heads up on our plans."

"Plans?" the former pilot asked sceptically turning down another narrow street empty except for them. "I'm already suspicious of anything any of you bring for me to eat or drink…" he trailed off at that.

Ash shook his head, "So untrusting…" he lamented unable to hold back a laugh at the side long look Heero shot his way. "How about we stop for some lunch?" he asked then glancing at his watch surprised to see it was well past noon. Heero shrugged as the stepped out onto a more well traveled street, and Ash watched as his head tilted up to a hanging sign, "The Kings Pub?" he asked.

Without waiting another second, Ash pulled the door opened for the both of them and stepped into the bustling pub. A waitress met them immediately at the door a welcoming smile she flashed Heero's way before settling on Ash, "Table for two?"

"Yes please," Ash responded returning her smile, his eyes sweeping her figure as she turned to lead them deeper into the establishment. They came to a stop at a booth, and Heero quickly stepped past his friend to take the far seat safely placing his back to the wall.

"Can I get you something to drink?" she asked removing a pen and pad of paper from her apron after she had placed the menus on the table.

Ash glanced briefly at Heero who was looked down at the menu without a great deal of interest, and he decided to answer for the both of them, "Beer, whatever you have on tap, doesn't matter."

She flashed him another dazzling smile, "Coming right up!"

Ash couldn't help watching her as she moved back towards the bar, he whistled softly. "You're too old for her." It took a moment for his mind to process the words and realized that it was Heero who said them.

"Two _consenting_ adults I hardly think age matters," Ash pointed out turning back to face his friend, "You want to bet I get her number before we leave?"

Heero shook his head, "I think I can find better uses for my money," he returned voice low as the waitress returned placing a beer in front of each of them.

Ash's eyes swung up to her chest reading the nametag resting there, "Are you gentlemen ready to order?" she asked directing most of her attention to Ash, which he was sure Heero appreciated. It gave her less time to scrutinise him and potentially discover who he was.

"I think we'll need a couple more minutes, Clair," he let her name slide off his tongue, a disarming smile on his face as he looked into her eyes, "Do you have any specials today?"

A blush had crept into her checks as she looked down at him, and Ash simply continued to smile as she began listing off what they had on offer. Through the corner of one eye he saw Heero lean back on his bench mug in hand as he took a long pull, his cobalt eyes never leaving the scene playing out before him. He almost appeared curious or amused, though it was hard to tell with the sunglasses still firmly on his face.

"Hmmm…" Ash mulled over the options he'd been given.

"I'll leave you to decide, just signal me when you're ready," she hadn't stopped smiling neither had the blush left her cheeks.

Once she was a safe distance away Heero placed his half empty beer back on the table, "I've never seen this side of you," he commented folding his arms across his chest.

Ash chuckled, though there was little humour in it, "In all fairness the times I'd be out with you to a place like this, it wasn't for a quiet meal, the last thing I needed was my attention wandering to ladies."

"More focused on keeping me from killing someone…" Heero commented, an odd tone to his voice.

"More like killing yourself," Ash corrected, looking directly at his friend, "In case you hadn't noticed we're inside now, no more sun. Not that I'd call the lighting outside to be sunshine." It was an overcast day but not dark and dreary, the sky was just white with high flying clouds. Heero just started at him, or Ash assumed he was unable to see his friend's eyes. "You going to take the shades off?"

Heero shook his head mutely lifting the menu from the table and it was an odd picture to Ash's eyes, from the way Heero sat it looked as though the Japanese man where looking right at him. But he knew Heero's eyes beneath the cover of his sunglasses were studying the menu.

"Headache?" he asked already positive that was the case.

The former pilot shrugged, "Nothing new," he returned after a moment.

"You're still refusing treatment for it?" it wasn't exactly a question; Ash had taken a private moment to speak with John about his friend's condition. And although he was relieved that the headaches weren't life threatening, it did bother him that Heero was just choosing to ignore them.

"I'm not about to be laid up again," Heero ground out, putting his menu aside and leaning back in the booth.

Ash considered his friend for several minutes, "You just planning on living with it forever?" it was a legitimate question, since Heero didn't seem in a rush to do anything it was easy to put it off until hell froze over.

"I'm not worrying about it right now."

"I'd bet Relena feels differently about it," Ash ventured knowing he was on tricky ground now, and could all but feel the glare Heero directed his way.

Whatever Heero might have wanted to throw back in return was cut off as Clair returned obviously keeping an eye on them, perhaps seeing Heero put his menu aside. "Have you gentlemen decided?" she asked eyes glancing between them before turning to focus on Ash.

"I believe I'll have the steak you were talking about," he looked up at her with another disarming smile, "Sounded great!"

She blushed at him again bobbing her head, "Excellent choice!" she wrote the order down on the note pad before looking to Heero, "And what can I get you?"

"Just another beer," whether Heero was actually looking at her or not Ash couldn't tell, part of him wanted to reach across the table and tear those sunglasses off his face.

"Not going to eat anything?" Ash asked accusingly, but before Heero could answer, "Why don't you make that two steaks," he lightly placed a hand on her forearm drawing her attention back and eliciting another blush as she smiled down at him.

"Alright then," she nodded marking down the change, "I'll be back in a minute with another round of drinks."

The minute she was gone Ash turned back to his friend, "Still not eating too?" he accused.

"Lost my appetite," he said tone dry, as he drained the last of the beer from his mug.

"Just cause I asked you a couple of questions?"

"Cause you're a fucking pain in the ass," Heero corrected.

Ash laughed at that, "Have been all my life or so I've been told, and let me point out now you're no picnic yourself."

"No one ever made you stay," Heero was quick to point out.

Ash was surprised at the flash of hurt that rushed through him at that, and he really would have given anything to see what was going through Heero's head in that moment. "How longs it going to take me to get it through that thick skull of yours that I wanted to stay!" Ash managed to keep the heat from his voice, but let all his conviction shine through, "You're stuck with me whether you like it or not," he let a smile creep onto his face, "I think today would be a not."

Heero sighed pulling a hand through his hair, "Just let some things go," he sounded tired, and Ash seriously doubted it was a physical tiredness.

"You know we're all on your side here right?" he thought it was a ridiculous question the minute it left his mouth, but decided he didn't care, he wanted to make his point.

"You've all made that abundantly clear," Heero replied dryly.

Ash leaned back studying his friend, trying to decide what was bothering him so much. Clair came and went with fresh drinks for the two if them, and he hardly noticed, "I'm not trying to hold you back," he began, "Just let you know I've got your back."

"Appreciated," was Heero's one word response.

Pulling a hand through his own hair Ash let a sigh escape him, before a smile took his features again, "Why can't we have a normal conversation," he ignored for the minute that 'normal' wasn't exactly in Heero's vocabulary.

"You picked the topic," the former pilot was quick to point out.

"Yeah…" he sighed again, "Yeah I did, but that doesn't mean I can't change it, I was told you were away from the agency for more than a week." Ash eased right into the new subject, "What'd you do with your time, I don't think I got all the details, I heard something about a karate dojo?"

Heero nodded, "It's just down the block."

"Maybe we could go there after we finish eating," Ash suggested trying to take a read on Heero's feeling about that despite the sunglasses.

"That could prove interesting," was Heero's only reply as Clair returned with their meals.

WMWMWMW

Heero stepped from the pub absently adjusting his sunglasses on his nose, although it was overcast the former pilot actually found it harder on his head than just the sun. Ash followed a step behind whistling to himself in a self satisfied way as he tucked a small piece of paper into his coat pocket. "You were right not to bet against me," he chuckled moving to drape an arm across Heero's shoulders.

"Enjoy your date," Heero told him shrugged the arm off, as he started down the sidewalk to Jay's dojo.

"You can bet I will," Ash chuckled smugly.

Heero just shook his head, this was a side of Ash he was just now seeing, and he found it both surprising and amusing. He'd only ever found himself attracted to one person, Relena, and their relationship was far from ordinary if the people around him were any way to judge.

"So this is where you spent your time…" Ash appraised the building Heero stopped in front of.

The former pilot said nothing in response to that, but glanced through the glass door able to make out Jay moving around in his office. He wore regular clothes, a fairly good sign that he didn't have any classes today or at least not any in the near future. With a little hesitation Heero reached up to ring the bell, not sure what Jay's reaction would be, now that the news was out. Within a couple of seconds Jay was at the door his blue eyes going wide at the sight of Heero, and he immediately opened the door for them.

"Odin!" Jay exclaimed his surprise at seeing the Japanese man clearly out weighing the knowledge he actually had about who Heero was.

"That's the name you went by?" Ash sounded disappointed, "You could have given him any name and you chose that?"

Heero shook his head mutely, he'd never told Ash anything about his past, certainly nothing from so long ago. Odin had been the first man to ever show him any form of kindness, though his time with the man hadn't been long. Heero had learned a great deal in that time, all valuable lessons he had made good use of in the following years. When Jay had asked him, the name had just slipped out without a second thought.

"Jay this is Ash," Heero introduced his friend to the sensei and they shook hands.

"I have to congratulate you Jay," Ash laughed, and Heero knew whatever was going to come next he wasn't going to appreciate.

Jay glanced between the two of them a little confused, "Why's that?"

"For putting up with this guy for more than a week," his hazel eyes danced at the sigh Heero couldn't keep from escaping his lips. "I mean I had to deal with him for three years, I know how hard it can be."

Again Jay glanced between the two of them, an easy smile on his face as he locked the door behind them, "Why don't we go upstairs?" he suggested.

"You don't seem shocked or surprised," Heero commented following behind his friend through the dojo and up the stairs.

Jay looked back over his shoulder, an odd expression passing through his eyes, "Don't get me wrong I was as surprised as the rest of the world, but it's been a little while since the announcement."

"Three days," Heero pointed out.

"I'm quick to adjust," Jay countered motioning for them to take a seat in the living room.

"You're also full of questions," the former pilot knew Jay must have already got some information to have not bombarded Heero with questions the minute he saw him, but from who was the question.

Ash was watching the exchange with a bemused expression on his face, "The news media had it covered?" there was an obvious question in Jay's words; he knew already that wasn't going to work.

"Who have you talked to?" Heero was curious; there weren't many people who Jay could get information from.

Jay shifted in his seat for a brief second, "I have a contact within the agency," he answered finally.

"Name?"

"Chang Wufei." Jay looked away as he spoke the name.

Heero wondered about that for a moment, before another question entered his mind, "How'd you meet him?"

"Through the dojo, it was a chance that he walked in," Jay commented still seeming oddly uncomfortable as he spoke. "I've used him as a contact within the agency over the years."

Something clicked with Heero in that moment, what were the odds that he'd end up in a place where one of the pilots would have had no trouble finding him, "You'd contact him when you took in a runaway?" it wasn't really a question, Jay had spoken about some of the kids he'd taken in over the years.

"That's right," Jay's eyes dropped for a second before looking up at Heero both hands raising, "I called him Heero, not the other way around. He didn't want you to know that I'd spoken to him."

Heero shook his head, lips creasing into a tiny smile, "It's alright, he didn't come looking for me when he knew."

Jay obviously breathed a sigh of relief, "I was glad to have him as a contact, I'll tell you."

"I wish I'd had someone I could call and ask questions," Ash groused good naturedly.

"I never forced you to follow me around," Heero pointed out, though he had to admit if only to himself that he probably wouldn't be alive today if not for Ash, and it was clear Ash knew this too, as he pinned Heero with a knowing look.

Jay cleared his throat obviously not sure what to make of the situation, "I called Wufei the day of the announcement to get some details that didn't add up." Heero's eyebrow rose at that, "After the time I spent with you, what I heard on the news just didn't add up."

"Hmmm…" Ash leaned back in his seat, eyes looking to the ceiling, whatever he was thinking Heero knew it wouldn't be good. "I can imagine what you thought…" he laughed eyeing Heero now, "Not knowing who he was, I knew and I was still thrown for a loop on more than one occasion."

"I thought you were in a gang at first," Jay admitted looking to Heero.

"Not far off the mark," Ash chuckled.

"Gundam Pilot never entered my mind."

"Especially if you see the media's portrayal of them," Ash laughed out right. Heero had made a point to direct his friend's attention to the huge billboard.

Heero looked more closely at Jay, "That wasn't made public," least not that he had been aware.

Jay smiled, "I pieced that one together myself."

"Impressive," Ash commented, hazel eyes flickering to Heero.

The sensei's expression sobered a little as he turned his full attention on Heero, "They said in the conference that you'd been injured, I take it not too badly?"

Ash snorted, "He suffered a heart attack," his friend was all to willing to inform.

Heero rolled his eyes, noting the shocked look on Jay's face, "A mild one," he corrected.

"But still," Jay's eyes shone with concern, Heero bit back the urge to sigh, wishing Ash had been able to keep his mouth shut. "I was going to ask you if you wanted to spar a little, should you even be out?"

"I'm fine!" the former pilot breathed, shooting Ash a threatening look if he chose to refute that.

There was a moment of heavy awkward silence before Jay spoke up again, "Well I'm glad you're alright."

"Believe me," Ash smiled relaxing back in his chair, "We all are."

Jay's eyes over looked Ash, no doubt noting the way Ash had been holding his left arm, he'd discarded the sling obviously not wanting to draw attention. "He was shot during the mission," Heero supplied, his eyes watching Jay, though he saw the look Ash shot through the corner of one eye. It wasn't often that Heero could turn the tables on Ash.

"Did any of you walk away uninjured?" Jay asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Wufei sprained his wrist…" Ash supplied leaning back, "He doesn't consider that an injury."

Jay shook his head in obvious disbelief, his blue eyes flickering between Ash and Heero several times, "You're all nuts," he chuckled finally.

"One man's opinion…" Heero mutter good-naturedly.

Ash laughed outright at that, bracing his arm carefully as he couldn't seem to stop, "You don't agree with him?"

The former pilot just shrugged not really interested in prolonging this particular conversation. The pain behind his eye had begun to intensify over the last few minutes, and he did his best to shield his eyes from Jay's lights without drawing notice. As it was Heero seriously doubted his efforts had worked. Ash glanced at his watch, eyes not flickering to where Heero sat, "It's been great meeting you," Ash said coming to his feet and extending his hand to Jay.

"Need to be getting back to the agency?" Jay inquired taking Ash's hand, his blue eyes glancing to Heero.

Ash nodded, "They're probably expecting us."

Heero doubted anyone was waiting for them back at the agency; Relena had had a full day ahead of her, which Heero supposed was partly why Ash had suggested this excursion. Still Heero made his own goodbyes to Jay, as they made their way down through his home and the dojo back to the street.

Once out on the sidewalk slowly making their way back the way they'd come Heero felt Ash's full attention on him. For a moment they continued to walk in silence before Ash finally spoke up, "I think we should take a cab back."

"Why?" Heero asked continuing down the side of the road.

"Save time?" Ash shrugged, though it was clear that wasn't his primary reason.

"It's not late," he countered moving to cross the street.

Ash followed along beside him moving so far as to walk backwards ahead of Heero, "Where's the harm in taking a ride back?"

Heero suppressed a sigh looking his friend straight in the eye, "I don't want to chance being recognized."

That stopped Ash in his tracks forcing Heero to stop dead or risk walking right over him. Ash's expression was incredulous, "We've been in town for hours, stopped at the bar?" he shook his head, "You weren't concerned then."

Shaking his head Heero looking away though with the sunglasses he doubted Ash could tell, "If I was noticed, I could always get away." Heero knew the city streets like the back of his hand, able to make uses of back alleys and seldom traveled streets to either make it to his destination on time or avoid unwanted attention. That wasn't so easy to do when in a moving vehicle.

Ash appeared to consider this for several moments, his expression changing as he weighed the pros and cons of Heero's position. No doubt taking into account his own concerns and opinions. Heero didn't particularly care what Ash's final decision was, since either way he was walking back. "Alright," he said stepping aside the half smile returning to his face, "Lead on."

WMWMWMW

Ash swore at himself for having not pushed the issue of the cab, but then Heero's reasoning had been sound, and he never would have expected the day to go so wrong. Shaking his head in disbelief Ash continued to lead his friend towards the agency. He would have spent more time at the scene, calling in one of the pilots if Heero hadn't bolted. "C'mon," he said quietly one hand on Heero's arm, the other pressing down on top of Heero's shoulder, "We're almost there."

Heero said nothing in response, hadn't in more than an hour. Ash hadn't really given himself time to think about it putting all his attention on getting back to the agency. The former pilot moved in much the same way he had when drunk, no verbal responses, but he did as Ash instructed, and walked on. The agency was within sight, and Ash removed his hand from Heero's arm to fish out his cell. He was grateful to the fact that he had gone through the trouble of adding the other pilots to his list of contacts. Ash scrolled through them all the while keeping half his attention on Heero who continued to walk, his movements robotic. Ash stopped on the first name he thought might be at the agency.

"Trowa," a smooth voice answered.

"It's Ash," he responded casting a glance towards Heero, carefully he lifted the edge of his right hand from Heero's shoulder, checking to see if the blood flow had ceased. "There's been an accident."

Thanks for Reading!

**Fading in the Aftermath**:

_I will never kill anyone ever again…_

Those words he'd heard in his head so many times. Becoming almost like a mantra to him, the truth of his new life. Though with the Inner circle it had been a little hard to convince himself; but he'd never taken a life not even while rescuing Relena.

_I will never kill anyone ever again…_

It felt as much a promise to himself as to Relena. But in a split second he had broken his word, when and unexpected threat had sprung up on him Heero had reacted as trained. That Perfect Solider had taken over and without a thought eliminated the threat

Morganeth Taren'drel


	80. Fading in the Aftermath

**Mistaken Words**

**AN**: So here is the next chapter as promised, I wish I could tell you chapter 81 won't be far behind but I just don't know when my writing for the fic is Really going to be able to come back to me. But I hope the end of this chapter will give you a satisfying place to wait until I can give you more!

Thank you to **morgansgirl** for the editing of the fic!

**Thanks again to all of you for reading! For being so patient with me! I can't possibly thank you enough! Your words of encouragement mean so much to me! I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the characters from Gundam Wing

**Fading in the Aftermath**

Accident Ash knew was not the best way to describe the scene in that alley way, but it had been the simplest thing he could say to get Trowa to meet him in the parking garage and help him get Heero to his room. He was going to have a lot of explaining to do for his friend, and he had been trying to prepare himself for it on the long walk back. Trowa hadn't said anything when he met Ash just took one look into Ash's hazel eyes and held open the door for them.

"What happened?" John asked meeting them in the hall, Sally right there at his side.

Ash shook his head, wanting Heero seen to before he tried explaining. The doctors and pilots all seemed to realize this as they moved into Heero's room. Ash finally released his grip on Heero flexing his blood stained hand. He moved over to the small sink quickly washing his friend's blood from his fingers before turning back to an impatiently waiting room. Both John and Sally were more focused on Heero, the older doctor speaking softly to his patient and receiving no answer.

Leaning back against the counter Ash looked to Wufei and Trowa, who stood at the end of Heero's bed. "Have either of you ever seen him like this?" it had scared the shit out of him, the blank look in Heero's eyes. It was like he had pulled into himself, and nothing Ash said or did would draw him out.

Trowa nodded his head, "Once during the war."

Ash pulled a trembling hand through his hair, hazel eyes flickering over Heero, where he sat shirtless while John cleaned the gunshot wound on his shoulder and Sally checked his vitals. That bullet had been meant for Heero's heart. Ash still couldn't believe the speed with which Heero had moved, nearly avoiding the bullet altogether while taking out his attacker in on clean shot.

"Care to fill us in on what happened?" Wufei asked then.

Drawing in a breath Ash attempted to organize his thoughts into a coherent line, it wasn't easy. "A gunman followed us into an alley on our way back," Ash had sensed the danger a second after Heero, at the moment not thinking much about his lack of gun. Cradling his still tender arm Ash looked at his friend who had still yet to respond to any of them. "Heero recognized him…I think…" he was pretty sure he'd heard Heero whispered '_the innkeeper_'.

"He accused Heero of having killed his wife and daughters," Ash continued after a pause.

"This would be during the war," Sally supplied as she and John finished with Heero having removed his shoes and positioning him further onto the bed.

Ash nodded watching John gently lay his friend back while Sally prepared a syringe, "Apparently they'd been killed on one of the colonies destroyed by Zero."

Trowa and Wufei exchanged a quick look, "Heero wasn't the one piloting it then," Trowa pointed out.

"I doubt it would have made much difference if Heero had pointed it out." The former pilot hadn't said anything in his own defence, whether that was because he knew it wouldn't help, or didn't think his actions deserved defending Ash didn't know.

John dimmed the lights over Heero's bed and motioned for them to all move deeper into the room, "He'll sleep for the night now," he assured Ash, a creased hand resting briefly on his shoulder.

Once they had all taken seats around the coffee table Sally leaned forward pressing for more information, "It obviously ended in an exchange of gunfire, then what happened?"

"Heero's shot killed the man instantly, and I say quick reflexes or not he's lucky to be alive himself," Ash glanced once more to his sleeping friend, remembering all too clearly the aftermath of the shooting. "Heero got to his feet after, and I don't know…" he struggled to find the right words, "Just seemed to shut down."

Ash hadn't known what to make of it any more then than he did now, Heero had stood there sunglasses hiding his eyes, his body having gone ridge. Ash had felt sure Heero was staring at the corps in front of him, and had he not known better he would have thought this was Heero's first time seeing a dead body. But that couldn't possibly have been the case; he'd called out to his friend several times trying to get some sort of response. When the gun clatter to the pavement Ash knew something was seriously wrong. He'd reached for Heero then, careful not to startle his friend, but even as his hand closed around Heero's arm and gently turned him to face Ash, there was no response.

Blinking back to the present Ash looked over the faces sitting around him; Sally was looking to the two other pilots, while John looked as puzzled as Ash felt. Slowly Sally looked back towards Heero's sleeping form, "He made a promise," she began eyes locking onto Ash, "At the end of the war, he swore never to kill again."

"And he'd kept to it for all this time?" Ash questioned sitting back feeling stunned, even as he thought through all his time with Heero realizing this was the case.

"Until now…" Sally sighed.

WMWMWMW

Heero's eyes snapped open, his body going stiff it took absolutely no effort to remember what had happened, he wasn't given a chance to forget. He didn't want to forget, this was entirely his fault he'd broken his promise, he'd taken that life. There was no coming back from that, no escaping the harsh truth. Pushing himself up from the bed Heero slipped his feet into his boots and went to search out a shirt and sweater. He paid his shoulder no mind as he finished dressing and ducked out of the room.

He was silently grateful for the fact that he'd woken up alone in the room, it could easily have gone the other way. Glancing at his watch Heero suspected he'd come too well before John or anyone else expected. He ghosted his way through the agency foregoing any of his usual haunts in favour of places none of the pilots would think to look.

His strides were long as he put as much distance between himself and the pilot's wing as he could. Heero wasn't sure why he didn't just leave the agency altogether, it was the surest way to avoid having to speak to anyone for as long as he felt he needed. But he didn't leave, he found himself in a remote corner of the agency standing on the wind swept roof cursing himself out for having not disarmed the man.

It shouldn't have been a problem, the man should still have been alive.

WMWMWMW

The sun had just barely crested the horizon and detective James Krevin had been at the scene of the murder for hours. It was their unfortunate luck that the attack had taken place in a seldom used alleyway, which offered a fair amount of seclusion and no witnesses. The victim Paul Lenard the owner of a small hotel not far from there had been long since removed. Raking a hand through his short brown hair Krevin swept his surroundings again blocking out the movement of various crime scene workers and just take in what he knew.

A man had been shot once clean through his right eye, the man had been dead before he had hit the ground. Krevin took a few steps down the alley away from the place that Lenard had fallen, his eyes locking onto the high velocity blood splatter against the wall, and the small pools of blood on the ground already dry. It was the only evidence that they had that another person had been in the alley when Lenard died. Samples had already been taken to the lab, and Krevin was awaiting word on who their suspect was. With luck the dirt bag would be in the system.

The vibration of his cell brought the detective out of his thoughts as he reached for his phone brining it to his ear, "Yeah?"

"Detective, I've got the DNA results back from the second blood donor," a lab tech on the other end responded.

"And?" he prompted straightening up.

"The shooter's an Agent,"

"A name would be useful…" Krevin sighed rubbing a hand across the back of his neck.

There was a sigh on the other end, "I need a Delta level clearance…"

"Fuck," Krevin swore striding down the alley towards his car, "How soon can I get in to speak with someone?"

"An appointment's been made for within the hour," the tech replied, "Apparently you'll be meeting with Une."

"Delta clearance, I guess I shouldn't be surprised." Krevin climbed into the front seat and started the engine, "What are her people thinking?!" he demanded rhetorically, "Dropping a murder in our laps."

"Be sure to ask her when you get there," the tech replied a smile heard clear in his voice. James sighed and switched off the phone tossing it on the seat beside him, as he manoeuvred his way through the relatively thin traffic leading towards the agency.

The great structure loomed in the distance, a symbol for many to the end of the war, for detective Krevin and his fellow officers; it didn't quite hold that significance. As with many agencies the world over and the city police it always felt like a turf war, as they both battled for supremacy. Krevin hadn't had too many dealings with the Agency yet, but through his superiors he had already garnered distaste for 'big brother' who always seemed to know better. And now here he was with a murder dropped on his doorstep, and an Agent had been involved and obviously fled the scene.

Looking up at the imposing structure of the Earth Defence Corp world headquarters James couldn't help but feel a little intimidated. The first four floors of the sprawling building had been given over to a state of the art hospital open to all. The expansive parking lot was more than half full even this early in the day. James drove past it, heading instead to the underground parking which was reserved for the agency portion of the building, where security was far tighter.

The detective pulled his car to a stop outside the parking garage, rolling down his window as the agent approached the side of his car, "Can I see some credentials?" the man asked smoothly leaning forward so he could see Krevin's face. James reached for his badge and ID and handed it over.

"I'm here for a meeting with Une," he found himself volunteering, and cursed internally. He felt like a teen trying to explain himself to an adult.

The man looked the ID over and handed it back with a smile, "Go right on through."

Krevin drove past as the yellow and black guard bar raised to let him through. pulling into the garage Krevin parked in the first open spot in the visitors sections and shut down his car. James got out of the vehicle keeping his ID and badge in hand, he headed towards the elevator knowing he'd be asked to show it more than once before he got in to see Une. Security was tight, Krevin had never actually had cause to go into the agency of yet, but he knew fellow officers who had.

Once inside the elevator James pressed the button for the top floor knowing that was the location of Une's office, along with other top officials and conference rooms. The ride up was a long one and James just leaned back idly flipping his ID open and closed, he didn't like the feeling of unease, if there was one thing James Krevin had always been sure of it was himself. He was a well respected detective, members of the Corp should have just as much respect for him as he does for them.

The elevator opens and James finds himself face to face with another agent, "ID please," the man requests in a deep baritone.

_Yeah right…_ Krevin thought passing his ID over what were the odds that he'd made it this far through the agency without having his ID checked at least once. They didn't see him as being on the same level at all, but he wasn't about to let that effect him. With a silent nod James made his way past the agent and down the hall bypassing all the doors lining the long hall, and those halls intersecting it. His focus was on the double doors at the end, wood where the others were metal.

Pushing the door open James was met nearly immediately by Une's private secretary, the woman rising from behind her desk to give James an appraising look. "Can I help you?" she asked politely, which actually surprised Krevin, he half expected a secretary to be as condescending as an agent.

"I'm here to see Une," it sounded ridiculous to say, why else would he have come this deep into the agency. But he knew that wasn't entirely it either, "I'm detective James Krevin."

The woman's brown eyes lit with recognition, "Ah yes, she's been expecting you, please go right on in," she gestured towards the inner door.

With a nod of thanks James stepped forward, realizing again for what still felt like the first time, that he'd never actually spoken with the former OZ commander. The woman known only as Lady Une, or Commander, her first name had never been released to the press, and James didn't really care to learn it. He was here with a purpose, and had no intention of letting himself appear overwhelmed by her status in the media and world.

Stepping into Une's office James was a little surprised to see that Une wasn't alone, although he supposed this man sitting across from her might well be the agent responsible for the shooting. James would have liked more time to study the man, and the relaxed way in which he appeared to sprawl in his chair. But almost immediately Une was rising from her seat extending a hand towards him, "Detective Krevin, welcome."

After releasing his hand Une directed his attention towards the other man in the room, and James gave him an appraising look. "This is Ash," she introduced and they shook hands, Krevin didn't miss the calloused feel of Ash's hand, nor the way he held himself. He may not have been dressed like an ordinary agent but he had training that much was clear. "He was a witness to the shooting," Une continued which brought Krevin around.

"Witness?" he questioned eyes narrowing, "Where's the agent responsible?" his tone was harsh but he didn't really care.

"If you'll please take a seat," Une spoke calmly lowering herself back down into her own leather chair. "The agent in question is in the middle of a very covert operation, on my orders he left the scene, but as Ash will explain to you, the shooting was self defence."

Krevin was shaking his head well before Une had finished, this stank of a cover up, perhaps he'd seen one too many movies, but he doubted it.

WMWMWMW

Heero stood at the edge of the roof, hands crammed deeply into his coat pockets as his cobalt eyes stared out at the endless expanse of the ocean. To his left the city of Sanc, moved on as though nothing had happened the night before. The War might have been over but murders still took place, Heero didn't actually believe in a world were no blood would ever be shed, it was foolish and idealistic. Two things Heero had never been, or at least as far back as he could remember the cold reality of the world had been pressed on him.

He knew the years had changed him, his training with Dr J and hardened him. It would have been logical to assume that the war would have only enforced what he'd been taught. And Heero had fought to maintain that distance, that mentality that he was just a soldier, the Perfect Soldier. No hesitation, no second thoughts, he'd been 'designed' to kill to bring an end to the war. He had done it, ended the war, but he hadn't been alone, and that had changed him, more than anything. Or at least that's what he thought.

_I will never kill anyone ever again…_

Those words he'd heard in his head so many times. At times becoming like a mantra to him, the truth of his new life. Though with the Inner circle it had been a little hard to convince himself at time; but he'd never taken a life not even while rescuing Relena.

_I will never kill anyone ever again…_

It felt as much a promise to himself as to Relena. But in a split second he had broken his word, when and unexpected threat had sprung up on him Heero had reacted as trained. That Perfect Solider had taken over and without a thought eliminated the threat.

Heero looked up, the wind whipping against his face leaving his skin raw, had he ever been in control of it? Had he ever managed to over come the training? Did Relena really teach him all that much? Or was he just a soldier designed to kill, a monster that didn't have a place in this peace. He saw the man's face flash in his mind, saw every detail, knew beyond a doubt that he could have ended it differently; the old man didn't have to die. No one had to die.

But here in the middle of the peace, Heero was doing what he had been trained for; and he was beginning to realize that he hadn't left that soldier as far behind as he thought. Pulling his gun from the back of his jeans, Heero held it before him in both hands. Beyond the hand of Odin, the gun was one of the first things he remembered holding. Heero's eyes narrowed, and he looked back towards the sea, he wanted to throw it as far away from him as he could. But it was like loosing a limb, he couldn't just willingly cripple himself. As much as he hated to admit it, he needed that security, he'd possessed it for far too long already; knew the consequences of loosing it far too well.

So what was left for him?

Heero's grip on the gun tightened, it was a cursed object to him, more still was the direction his life had taken. He should have died in the war, as the Perfect Soldier, fight, win, and give his life. All so he wouldn't have to stand here and face the reality that was his life. He'd never been made to consider it before, he was as he had been raised, and it was right. Now living in a world of peace, surrounded by people who yes knew war, but were not bread for it. Heero couldn't help but call into question everything he knew.

How could he ever hope to truly settle into this peace, if when threatened his immediate instinct was to kill? Not disarm; he could have done it easily. The thought made him shudder, he was a machine nothing more, than tool like the gun he held. This life couldn't be for him. How was a machine supposed to feel? How could he ever trust himself with Relena?

The thought of harming her chilled him to the bone, he tried to tell himself it could never happen, that she had taught him more than anyone and for that he would love her. That emotion itself was only for her, he'd never known it before meeting her, doubted he could express it to anyone else considering how clumsy he still was with it. But at the exact same time, Heero saw the reality of it all; each situation that could possibly go wrong, fueled by the events of yesterday, Heero didn't think he could trust himself again. How could he be sure those instincts wouldn't be the ones that took over?

"I hope you're not thinking of doing anything drastic," John's voice broke through Heero's thoughts and he blinked seeing the gun held white knuckled in his hands.

He didn't look up at the old doctor, merely returned the gun to the back of his jeans and continued looking out over the ocean.

John stepped up beside him, and Heero flinched away from his touch, "Do you want to talk about it?" John asked gently giving Heero a little room.

What was there to talk about? Heero had already reached his own conclusions, he wasn't safe.

The wind rushed between them, "At no point in our lives are we stagnant," John began voice easily carrying to Heero's ear. "We aren't set in stone, moments define are lives but they don't control them, we human's are always changing."

Heero considered those words, and couldn't deny the truth of them; from the moment he set foot on Earth for the first time, to this moment overlooking the ocean; Heero knew he had changed. "It's not enough," he muttered without really noticing.

"It's true that what we know and learn can be hard to forget or change," the old doctor continued calmly. "But that doesn't change the fact that we can teach ourselves new things, old habits can be broken."

"Not ones that meant life or death," Heero returned, his instincts had kept him alive all these years, as a soldier you couldn't hesitate, blink and you're dead. How could he shut that off?

Heero shook his head, feeling anger rise up in him, none of this mattered, "I killed a man," he stated bluntly, what did his character really matter in the face of that?

"A man who was trying to kill you," John attempted to point out.

"I could have stopped him," Heero muttered bitterly.

John turned towards Heero, but maintained his distance, "Can you be sure you would have survived?"

"It's not worth one man's life."

"I highly doubt Relena would agree to that, not to mention myself and the others," John continued undeterred.

Heero leaned his forearms onto the waist high wall, dark eyes staring down the edge of the cliff. He couldn't explain it to John, wasn't even sure he wanted too, just talking like this was stepping outside of a comfort zone Heero didn't even want to admit he had.

"I know about the promise you made Heero," John's voice was understanding, but how could he possible know?

He felt the gun press at the small of his back, and began to ask himself why? Why hadn't he shot to wound? Why had he shot at all? Why after so long did he break his word?

"You were a soldier Heero--"

"Was?" he tossed back incredulously. The war was over, but how did that make him not a soldier?

John drew in a breath, "Do you see yourself as nothing else?" it was his turn to ask.

_It's what I was trained to be_ he thought silently raising his head watching the clouds trail across the sky. Heero knew he could no longer say it was all he knew, he'd seen and experienced much since the end of the war and even during it. But despite that he continually felt like he was standing on the outside looking in. For him it wasn't a lonely feeling, simply a truth that he wasn't meant for that life.

"How you see yourself can't change if you step away," John said shocking Heero at how he seemed to read his mind. "You're hurting yourself more than you know when you pull away like this. The way you were raised is no fault of your own," he continued firmly. "You've taken responsibility for your actions, which is more than can be said for some. You need to learn to forgive yourself Heero."

Heero remained silent; he didn't think it was nearly as simple as John was making it out to be. But then what could he really know being a doctor, he didn't take lives he saved them; there was less guilt to be carried. He sighed, the sound lost among a gust of wind, his training had been near perfect, but Dr J couldn't account for guilt. An emotion Heero himself hadn't known until he'd destroyed that plane load of pacifists. Had he ever forgiven himself for that?

"You're not perfect," John's voice broke through his brooding thoughts yet again. "The worst thing was done to you in the past was for someone to convince you that you are. Humans can't maintain those heights and they shouldn't have to. You defended yourself yesterday, in a split second you reacted, you hate yourself for the reaction you chose but let me ask you this." He paused and reluctantly Heero looked up into the doctor's eyes, "If it had been Relena staring down the barrel of that gun, what would you do?"

His eyes narrowed, it was an unfair question. Since the end of the war, his job had been to protect Relena, but despite the requirements for the job he'd managed to keep his word. It wasn't really something he'd had reason to think about until now, but he had been learning a slightly different way of life. And now he was staring himself in the face, that 'Perfect Soldier' wasn't nearly so deeply buried as he had hoped.

Unexpectedly John reached out a hand and rested it lightly on Heero's shoulder, the former pilot stiffened immediately. But John didn't pull his hand away; instead he gave the shoulder a squeeze. "You're not a threat to us, you don't deserve to be alone, you can be forgiven," the doctor told him leaning close to speak softly into Heero's ear.

Heero remained silent, not sure he could allow himself to agree with that. There were far too many unknown, too many possibilities where it could all go wrong, and the body lying at his feet was someone he loved.

"Have you done anything among your closest friends to make you believe you could hurt them?" John asked continuing to hit at just the right spots. "And I'm sure you could argue that we can't know everything that will happen. But forget all that, and try and focus on the fact that both I and Relena have faith in you." The hand on Heero's shoulder squeezed again, "Now do you think at least you could come in out of the cold?"

Thanks for Reading!

Morganeth Taren'drel


End file.
